Episode 10: Free Falling From Grace

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
As life happens for me throughout my entire life. Some
events have taken place since the last time I did
an episode of My wife Joined a cult, A reset,
reframe here, reboot, restore, rejuvenate, reclaim where I am right now.

(00:35):
I have been very happy with my own personal transformation
from doing this, which I believe that's part of what
this is about. I can state these intentions and by
doing so, it has more power. And my intention would
be the following. This is off the top of my head.

(00:58):
And by the way, if anyone has a note, everything
is off the top of my head. I read very
few things, you know. I'm going to read some text
messages today and maybe some other things. I don't know.
I don't know where it goes. I kind of like,
just listen to my instrument and I allow this genuine

(01:22):
energy flow to happen. There's a lot going on right now.
One thing I do want to oh anyway, my statements
are this, this is what some of the some of
the reasons this could be. I don't know exactly why
I'm doing this. It could be really selfish that I

(01:42):
want a documentary about this, but that and then again,
though I really do love being of service. It's something
my entire life. I remember in high school, let's say
Papa Shoe, my nickname is Shoe. Papa Shoe. I was
the guy that they would go to to talk about
their issues, mostly with girls and things the girls. I

(02:06):
was always the F word friend, the guy that they
would you know, girls with the pozzp they go to
the bathroom together. They took me with them. That's what
a geek I was. That's also how approachable. And just
this past week I went to Philadelphia and they all
still live there, and yet they don't get together until
I come back. I got I think about seventeen people together.

(02:28):
No time before that it was forty people. Hey shoot,
thanks for doing this, and we wouldn't do this unless
you were here. I really love to be of service
to people, to make sure that they're uplifted and maybe
I can turn transmute some pain into bliss for people.
And some of the ways that I've done it, which

(02:49):
is one of the objectives of this, is I know
that some of you are in pain. You're dealing with
an alcoholic, a drug addict, somebody who's acting strangely, somebody
who's bipole or somebody who suddenly is shutting you out.
You're wondering what's wrong. You're powerless. You feel powerless over
the people, places, and things. And so my whole life

(03:14):
in dealing with the difficulties of my life, which are many.
You know, some people go, how the hell do you
do it? Resiliency is a really big thing for me.
And then thriving no matter what. And you'll hear some
stories today you'll go, oh my god, he got hit again,
and I did. I got whacked. I'm exhausted right now.
I got whacked out of nowhere and again. I'm going

(03:43):
to reframe and reset this intention be of service help others,
even do that. My stand up is I contemplate, backstage, pray, meditate,
mindful thinking that says, get out of yourself and be

(04:03):
of service to the people that are paid money in
that audience, even they didn't pay money, which they do,
But how can I be of service to them? They
might really need this right now? And I've had one
example after the next. I'm friends with somebody in Florida,
Courtney or mom died two hours before she came to
the show anyway, and she said, well, what else was

(04:23):
I going to do. I mean, my mom's dead, and
so many people tell me that they were going to
commit suicide, and it was a relief for them because
reason to live to laugh. You live to laugh, you
laugh to live. So I've had that my entire life.
Now I'm paid for it for the last since high school.

(04:43):
It's a long time ago, and so it's always a
primary reason for doing anything. And do I get paid
for it? Yes? Or do I paid for this No?
I doubt I will ever be paid for this. It
could manifest in something I have no idea. I show
up and tell the truth, and it's not a version

(05:07):
of truths. All of the things that I will share
with you and have shared with you are actual facts
that happen. It's not an interpretation of the facts. And
they are all backed up. My children can back it up.
We'll talk about that in a little bit. Witnesses facts
figures like you know, you can see my bank account,
how she stole money and changed the bank account. There's

(05:29):
all this. There's a paper trail on all of this,
which she's frightened of, and that's why she runs. People
are afraid of the truth, and they get people to
collude with that That's one of the problems we have
in our society is we let government get away with it,
leaders get away with it, and if somebody says something
about it, you become the problem. You're the conspiracy theorist,

(05:51):
you're the whistleblower, You're the bad person who points it out. Well,
this podcast isn't for you. This is for the people
who are not of that ilk. This is for the growers,
the changers, the transformers, not like Optimus Prime, whatever his
name was. This is for people who are willing to

(06:12):
transmute that pain, as I said before, and turn it
into something of purpose and abundance. I'm about to tell
you another story that could have whacked me down, taken
me down, but it's not going to I feel like
that a long time ago. I don't know what the
quote was, but Raging Bull a really brilliant movie of
have to watch it again. He never took me down, Ray,

(06:36):
That's what Raging Bull said to Sugar Ray. He never
took me down, like he never He did not knock
him out. And I feel the same way. I don't
know who I'm saying it to, some higher source. Come on, man,
really you're gonna do it? Again, wait, do you hear
this story that's coming up? Whoo. But it's also filled

(06:58):
with enrichment, it's filled with I'm going to share with
you some of the things that I've done to get
to the other side, to get to peace, to get
to serenity, to get to fulfillment and mindfulness, to get
to those places you just don't kind of feel it,
to heal it. And maybe that's what this is also about,

(07:22):
this podcast, And maybe this is about us all getting
to the other side with difficult circumstances that are so frustrating.
The more I go here's another lesson, is the more
I go towards her to get her to wake up,
have an awakening, no matter who it is, it also
you know, talks to her. It's just it's so far.

(07:44):
When somebody's in a cult, there's so far brainwashed, there's
nothing that's going to take them out of it. You
might feel it politically by the way, you might have
somebody a relative that's a particular political persuasion, or following someone.
Anybody who's following anyone to the point where they can't discuss,
they can't vet process. That's a problem. And maybe this

(08:07):
podcast is for that as well. Maybe this is to
kind of bring us together, have a oneness and have
an understanding. And maybe you can hear this. This is
one of my things, is living in denial, painting red
flags green who. Boy, do I suffer from that? Because

(08:28):
I want so bad to have a normal life. I
want so much to have a divine, beautiful connection, you know,
with the love of my life. I really want that.
And I tried it and I was not successful. I
guess successful in that I got to grow each time.

(08:54):
I got to look within and the mistakes that I make,
checking out my own honesty which is not there sometimes.
So then I expect them to be honest all the time,
and when I'm not, the unreasonable expectations. These are the
things that I can examine within to make me a

(09:17):
better man person. I won't say they I agree with
the whole day thing. It's like, come up with another word.
But the point now, I'm just gonna say it anyway.
You can't say that, well I come from you know
what they say. That's a group of people. Somebody's telling
me what she's about. I don't even know what it's

(09:40):
a daughter, a dater. The dater goes to the school
that she said, they go to this school, so you
have twins. It's stuff to get used to because that's
been a word for centuries. So now how about come
up with another word. How about shimandodle something where we
can go that's that word. They're a schmadoodle. I digress.

(10:04):
I do some digressing now, and then it's avoidance of pain.
Avoidance of pain, by the way, I have found to
be worse than the pain I talk to. I have
a spiritual leader, by the way, I have a leader
that really, really the most help I've ever received in
my life. He's like a mystic. He's amazing. We just
had a long conversation today, So you are getting the

(10:24):
better the better frequency that I'm on right now after
talking to him today doing some processing. This guy's a
really wonderful man in my life. That is just upper level.
That's how I want to live. You want to live
like that too. Maybe one of my goals is also

(10:46):
to have you join me in these courses and coaching
programs and mentorship. And I'm like a Shirpa shift Shirpa.
Maybe that's one of my goals. I sure would love
it because I love building communities. I told you I
have a bunch of my buddies. Well eight of us
golfed and then more got together. Happened so much and

(11:09):
it's so beautiful for them. They expressed this to me.
So I've always wanted to build a laugh mob and
build a group, and I shouldn't say want two I have.
I've done this my enlightened up group and so on.
This seems to be headed towards an upper level, gigantic
movement based on you being attracted to the subject matter,

(11:34):
which I sure am. That's all I watch is documentaries.
I watch so many of the true crime documentaries. This
is some crimes have happened, by the way, emotional crimes
are crimes as well, especially when the purp acts in
a way that Lotus does and the person I'm about
to tell you about I avoid in getting to it. Yeah,

(11:58):
I really want to stay close to the tensions because
people do wonder and they're skeptical and judgmental. I will
thank you, by the way, most people have had have
expressed gratitude and thanking me for the courage that it takes.
And I'm not going to pat myself on the back
on the courage thing, but I do think courage is
important in our society and it's undervalued. I don't mean

(12:20):
courage like you know, going to war. Yes, it's very courageous,
but I'm talking about courageous enough to really go deep
within to those pain spots and be willing to shift.
Like I said, I'm a shift shirp. That's what I
dig doing that to myself and then helping others do
the same thing. So it could be that. It could

(12:44):
be that I want. My biggest goal has always been
to somebody listens and goes to her goes to her
dad who has money, and says, look, here's I offered
to pay for this, by the way, many many times,
and I still will for lotus to go get help.
And this is going to take severe help. She claims
she's getting it now, She's done that before, and it's
just a lie. It's all wellness scripters. They go to

(13:07):
another kind of wellness program that doesn't vett it or
doesn't have any success record. It certainly doesn't have any
record of time. That's the whole thing with the whole
wellness community. It's all theoretical. There's no data to support it.
They live in this airy fairy world where they acknowledge

(13:27):
one another and just the phoniness and they really think
it's real. Lotus believes that this is real. She believes
she got out of a toxic relationship. She believes that
she got out of control. She believes she got out
of manipulation. She believes that she got out of this man.

(13:48):
Now that's something I can't say. I said before that
I tell the truth. I can't say that is completely
the truth that I'm not any of that. Can't say
that because somebody's perspective is that somebody could consider my

(14:08):
powerful demeanor to be abusive whatever I want to tag it.
I mean, I'm ready to defend myself on all that stuff.
But that's their reality. That's the stories that they create.
And I will tell you one of the subjects I'm
going to approach here, which I didn't know that this
podcast was going to be about. This is the men
women relationship. Wow. And I am of an understanding of

(14:34):
compassion for women. I get it. I was raised a feminist.
Talking my act ago, I mean, I'm a little boy
in history of Glasgow and his story? What about her story?
It's her story? This is my perspective was only for
females single mom who by the way, what's oddly enough, though,
it is much more about men and patriarchs. That's what's
really odd about. I used to fight her about it.

(14:56):
If you ever understand how she could go that direction.
She likes men way more than women. But one thing
I didn't listen to her that I am getting And
she said this many times. She would let me have parties,
but no girls. She did not like if the girls
were there. And what she told me, and I believe
this now has become true, is girls are much more

(15:18):
manipulative and shrewd and cunning with a very insidious agenda
that there's no feeling. That's the odd thing is women
have these feelings and men allegedly don't have the feelings. Well,
I'm I got a lot of feelings. I was talking
to my advisor today. The one thing I have not
done this is an emission is cry, like a good cry.

(15:43):
He's encouraging that, and I might get to that. I'm
gonna say, I'm going to do it now we're here.
I don't know the answer to that, but I will
tell you it's definitely needed. I mean, I look around
sometimes at these children, and it is. It does almost
cause me to cry. I remember when they were vulnerable

(16:06):
and they were crying in with the legit intervention with
Lotus and their mom, and I was like, Oh, the
way to go. I'm so proud of them. When she
screamed at them and went nuts and jumping up and
down and blaming me. Ah, it was so painful that
I almost was at tears, but I didn't want them
to see me vulnerable like that, and I took them

(16:26):
away to safety. And I'm gonna also go buy some
feedback that I've been getting and I had answer some
of the feedback. One of her very good friends married
a really nice guy, and I posted something about this
podcast and he said something to the like when are

(16:48):
you gonna get over it? Or when are you gonna heal?
Like Jesus Christ, he says, when are you gonna? I
don't know this specific because that's what I got out
of it, and I understand that who the hell was
to hear that? And people want you to get to
the end. They want you to get to the you
know the answer. Well, it's a process. That's what this

(17:09):
podcast is about. It's a process. And I decided by
the way I'm going to do more episodes doesn't have
to only have the topic of telling stories about the
things that she's done. But one of the things that
somebody said was, they're waiting for me to get to
the cult leader's boyfriend, Broke's boyfriend, Rundel, the threats that

(17:35):
he has made to me. And this is when this
is then, this is when things are. This is when
you could take this to the law. These are threats.
And the fact that Lotus put them up to it,
gave him my number, gave him this information. You're about

(17:57):
to hear this perceptive information. The fact that she did
that and continues to be okay with that when I've
told her this solution for me would be let me
see you write them. Let me see you write them
a letter. It says the truth of who I am,
who she texts me. I could read those texts as well,

(18:19):
loads of them. What a great person I am, a great,
great man, and generous and all of those things, inspiring
and creative and hardworking. Oh my god, this list is endless.
But she won't tell anyone else. And I said that
would be a solution to repair some of this damage

(18:39):
she's caused. A lot of damage. But somebody's brainwashed will
not acknowledge that, and she will not acknowledge it. She
doubles down, doubles down with the resentment and the perception
that I'm the problem and she needed to get out
and so forth, and she's got her sovereign freedom and
all of that. And I get it because I was

(18:59):
that guy who would fight for women and say that's
not fair, that's not right. I'm starting to see another
side of this. I'm starting to see that I think
the pendulum went too far, like the Me Too movement
got into bad dates were being reported to me, of course,

(19:22):
and then I believe her. I was the guy that
was saying I believe her. I am telling you unequivocally
that statement needs to be dropped. I have a friend
who's not my friend anymore because he believed someone didn't
check with me. Took me two years to finally get
through to him to find out what the truth was.
He was lied to by a woman who was playing him.

(19:45):
He's one of my best friends, doesn't speak to me,
and was based on what he says. He called me
Harvey Weinstein. I mean, it was just he just believed it.
He believed the story. And when you're talking about somebody
that looks like me, acts like me, powerful and dynamic.
People have told me I'm dynamic. I must be because
I've done really well in the top of the food

(20:06):
chain and comedy and awards and everything else, and I've
done very well from nothing. So that probably says to
people there's gonna be jealousy and envy. There's also going
to be anger, misplaced rage that hasn't been worked on
because I'm that guy, the enemy for centuries and I
get it, that's the patriarch. I defended that not anymore.

(20:29):
I can't do that anymore because that's making assumptions because
I know who I am. I'm not these people. I'm
not that that they're responding to. I can walk into
a room and they can feel like two words out
of my mouth. On comedy stage, you see a couple
of people in the front who are not digging this
straight white male. I'm a non practicing white male these days.

(20:50):
So so this guy Rundle, out of nowhere texted me
and apparently I must not have said this, and if
I did, I'm sorry I repeating it. But a couple
of people did tell me that they do not remember
me talking about. They were anticipating me talking about the
text messages that were sent to me. And I responded

(21:11):
to this guy, and he kept coming back and saying
more nasty things and more assessments that were coming from
Lotus telling him to do this. She defended them. This
is the problem with cults, them ahead of the family.
I sound like a mob guy ahead of the family.
How dare you do that to the family. So, yeah,

(21:32):
that's how they live. She was in one cult before this.
What did I call her? Revan? I come close to
the names, by the way, really really close. You can
figure it out. Maybe the names I'll probably tell you
if you ask me. I probably should tell you because
it would warn you to not get in business with

(21:53):
these wellness s grifters that claim wellness and wholeness and
here's a product that will get you better. Here's an
oldsm here's a They have a documentary called Orgasm Inc.
And they're involved with that dildo's apparently, Oh that was
another new one. I don't think I mentioned that. I
didn't know that Broke was in the dildo business too,

(22:16):
along with of course who follows her every likes some
old space and all that is lotus and I sit
there and I go, oh my god, you dedicated yourself
to this marriage and family, dedicated to the point of
exhaustion and going out and working and doing all this
while she goes outside. It's worse than cheating. I'd rather

(22:40):
her sleep with a porn star than what she did.
I really would that you can deal with That's that's
something that's understandable. Maybe I'm not a great lover, you know,
anything like that, and then you can work on things.
But no, no, she took all of her energy and
put it in to this woman broke. So I also

(23:07):
came across when it started. I just came across this document.
I can't believe it. It was like when I came
across the photo of this document. It was actually it
took my breath away. I realized that broke came along
years before with another scam, an insurance scam. And there

(23:33):
was the papers. There was the documents of life insurance
policy that I signed, I paid for. Not by the way,
someone mentioned to me one of the other feedback was, yeah,
you took somebody and literally she lived in a treehouse
with no running water, had to pee forty yards away
in the woods, in a little toilet in the woods,

(24:00):
and I got rescue hat on And there you go.
That's one lesson, folks. That's another thing. We're about lessons.
I'm about lessons. I'm going to learn this stuff hell
or high water. I'm going to get to another lesson
in a minute, maybe not a minute. So someone wrote
to me and said, yeah, what else did you expect

(24:23):
when you rescued her or took her from this place?
But I the punishment for the rescue does not fit
the crime of the rescuing. This is a hell of
a punishment and the kids suffer for it as well.
I just keep thinking, she'll repair the damage, and what
are the ways that she can repair the damage? Is

(24:44):
turned to these people and turn to the other people
that she said all these bad rumors and lies about me,
and just go tell them the truth, including my sons,
by the way, she's used them as well, a perception
that she has and she will not bend. I've even
tried bribery, and she's a selfish person. Even try bribery,
and that's how bad it is. That's how dug in
the righteousness is. When someone's in a cult. They're righteous,

(25:07):
and there's nothing that can get through to them. Nothing,
and I have tried. So this is what he says.
This is one of the quotes. I just pull these
up randomly. It's how many Rundel sent me. I have
enough to have your children taken from you, and your
family will help me with this. Now where did he
get that from? He got that from her saying that

(25:34):
I guess my sons will help. I guess my other
ex wife will help. Who is that's a whole other story. Wow,
that is that. That's toxic to a whole other degree
of which Lotus had to suffer from that. It which
shocks me. Now she's using that. I'm trying to amend

(25:55):
support right now. She won't even have a discussion about
it because I said, well, if you're making all this
wealth from women, you're either lying to the people or
you're lying to me about how much you make. She
wrote like five hundred dollars a month. Yeah, right, and
she lives in a forty five hundred dollars a month place.
So again, these are all facts that she can't deny.

(26:17):
So the other intention would be somebody comes in like
the guy who said Jesus Christ, when you're gonna hear, yeah,
hey man, help out your get your wife, who's one
of her best friends, Get her to help out, Get
her to do an intervention. Get all the other mamas together,
all the ones who aren't in the cult, get them
all together, and bring back this beautiful human being she

(26:39):
went away. Now, she doesn't show them that. That's part
of the that's part of the con. People aren't gonna
see this. They see the smiling, happy hippie girl and vicious, insidious,
mindless crimes behind everyone's back. Which I react, and there's

(27:02):
the rub I react, And my reaction now is to
muster up the courage to express this, and maybe somebody
steps in and talks to her and pulls her aside
and gets her out of there, and then the kids
have a better chance, and we all have a better
chance of not living in fear. How do I know

(27:22):
snuck at kidnapped him again? How do I know that?
How do I know she snuckna be violent again? You know,
I wanted to say something about They said, well, someone
so doesn't have a record, And even when I was
a kid, I didn't understand is is someone that doesn't
have a record. What does that say because the first
time they do something, they now have a record. That's
if they're caught. So it's like the first time that

(27:46):
something happens. I don't want to be on the other
side of the first time somebody does something like Lori Valo,
who's it's my friend's sister who saw that coming. Her
mom didn't assist her, and they didn't see any of this,
and she killed her two children and buried them in
the backyard. And people are going acting like I'm dramatic,
Well what about my friend who Adam is saying, yeah,

(28:10):
he asked people all along. I'm asking people all along,
pay attention. This isn't about restoring the marriage. I could
never restore a marriage with somebody. That's just that's like
the CIA, you know, that can't be That ship is sailed.
But what hasn't is we are co parenting and the

(28:32):
children are used and abused. But the perception is that
it's me who's doing that because I'm trying to tell
the truth. I am telling the truth. It's not like
I'm making it up. These are the things that happen.
I don't want the children to be subjected to this.
I don't want them to be subjected to the BDSM
and the sadomasochism. I do not want my children being

(28:53):
subjected to that. And that's what Broke has done to
her children. One of them left and wouldn't speak to
for a year. She and Rundele have also broken up,
but then they have this big celebratory engagement party. Of
course they have to do everything out there for their ego.
Oh my god, if you saw this, it's disgusting. And
by the way, anyone who has figured it out what

(29:14):
I told who it is, every single person goes, oh
my god, what a whack. She hardly has any followers,
by the way, but that she has any is insane,
And that she has my ex wife as a follower
is insane. Of my ex wife to actually say goodbye
to a man who is dedicated everything and the children

(29:38):
have to go to different homes back and forth and
be subjected to all this. And here's another text from him. Understand,
I will be sitting with my attorney on Monday to
discuss her options for the slander and defamation of character
you're spreading. Well, Rundel, it's not defamation if it's true.
There's nothing I said, it isn't a fact. As a

(30:01):
matter of fact, I say to people, just go look
at her pages, go look at her Instagram, look at
her Facebook. And every single time people go back to me,
they're fascinated. It's her own defamation of self because she's
saying these things that are absolutely nuts and so arrogant
about it. About everything, she's arrogant and just goes doubles

(30:25):
down if anyone challenges broke, just like a cult leader,
she shuts them down, blocks them and everything else. So
it's not about freedom when freedom's freedom of speech. By
the way, I'll be honest about something. I was a
big Lefty too, and I left the left. And there
reason I left the left. I'm not going right. I'm
liking this centered space right here where I get to

(30:46):
examine it at all and not live in fear. Oh
you vote for so and so, it's a vote for
so and so. Hey, that's your fears. I'm right here,
right in the center, loving it in a centered spot.
And the whole reason I left the left is there's
no more freedom of speech. Let's shut it down. Shut
you down, don't agree with me, shut you down, misinformation,

(31:07):
shut that down and that's why I had to leave
the left. So this defamation that he's talking about is
not defamation. But there are people from the left if
they do, I mean, you know, the far whatever. I
don't even like the left or right, for lack of
another term, I was a big lefty. People are shocked
now that I'm not because I fought so hard I

(31:30):
felt like I was right. I do feel this though.
I do feel that being in a centered spot of oneness, kindness, generosity,
it's not going to leave me. When my mom called
me up and she said she was so uplifted that
she wasn't depressed when I've stayed these days, whether it's
a wonderful thing to hear she's now because we worked

(31:54):
on this stuff or I worked on it, she's now
seeing me for who I truly am. And by the way,
that's what made for a good marriage for a long
time with Lotus. Saw me for who I truly am,
not what she's dictating me to be from centuries of
man's abuse. I got it. But ladies, if you're listening,
you have that spot in you that has that anger

(32:14):
towards a man that makes these assumptions. Where I just
saw a thing on a video on Instagram. A guy
it was just he was the right wing guy goes
up to this woman with a pink pink hat and
she just screamed back at him. All this stuff, this
venom that was built up inside of her. And this
is what's built up inside of Broke and what's Lotus
and the people that follow this. It's a built up venom.

(32:36):
It's no good for anyone. I don't want my kids
to see this. I don't want them to see this
kind of level of disrespect of a guy that works
hard and shows up. It's completely disregarded. I can't literally
get her to bend on anything anything. She'll ignore every note,
but expect me to listen to at whatever she wants anything,

(33:02):
because she has it in her mind programmed by occult
leader and other ones who agree. Come on, mamas, come on, mamas,
get your freedom, get your strength, get your power. You
have the power if a higher power, within that higher power,

(33:22):
within the one that I know. It is not about
taking someone else down so you can feel victorious. The
higher power that I live in is divine love. And
I do love Lotus and always have and always will.
And that's another intention. That's part of this podcast. I've

(33:45):
had difficult things in my life, and it does me
no good to have other people join me in my resentments.
It doesn't serve any good purpose. It just keeps me
in a place of significance of playing low. I might
have mentioned this before. I was kidnapped when I was

(34:07):
thirteen by cerial pedophile. I was also beaten to a
pulp by students mostly my age eighth grade, mostly but
in other grades. But that was the worst year, and
other things have happened. If I with broke or with lotus,

(34:29):
if I give them the power, the person who kidnapped me,
if I forgive them, they don't have the power over me.
If I offer love, they don't hold the keys to
my prison self prison I put myself in. The more

(34:49):
I resent, the more prison I'm in. So just so
you all know, we're all a lot of things. I've
had people say, oh, I made a joke the other
day about Joe Biden. It was a simple joke. I said,
I put a picture of his strides. He has very
short strides, And I said on Instagram, I said, for

(35:12):
those of you worry about Joe Biden's health, his short strides.
He's doing ten thousand steps just to go to the bathroom.
The greatest joke in the world. But there it was
got reaction, of course, Oh there you go, right and left.
He's all these oh, just horrible things, and I don't know.
Oh geez, here we go. I lit up and someone
told me it was elder abuse. I was actually kind

(35:36):
of positive. I was saying, he's in good, healthy he
makes these steps, and that's older abuse. It's people. And
someone else said, how do you call yourself a transformative
speaker or coach? Say something like this, and I will
tell you the answer. Not that that person's listening. The
judgers never listen, or they're not listening with openness and

(35:58):
willingness to shift and change. Part of my transformative journey
is to make fun of myself and have fun with
others and make people laugh. And that is transformation. Transformation
doesn't have to be the way you think it is,
with writing platitudes on post it notes, getting together and

(36:20):
saying namas day and everything else. It doesn't need to
be like that. In my world, I'm happy making jokes
and having fun, not punching down to say something like that,
even if it is I mean, is anybody really affected
by that? Anybody really isn't ruining anyone's day. This whole
thing of people being offended, and they're even offended that

(36:42):
I'm doing this. How can you call yourself and all
that kind of stuff. You know, every single person out
there lies, every single person or lacks integrity at times.
I think it's the amount of time she do it.
When it becomes serial like my ex, I say, if

(37:05):
she told the truth, it would be by accident at
this point. But I have forgiveness and hope and faith.
It's one of the reasons I do this because some things,
some don't quit before the miracle. I always say that
I've had plenty of times I wanted to quit with
this situation and many situations in my life I might
have mentioned before. I tried suicide when I was thirteen,

(37:28):
And by the way, I even make a joke about that,
you're sick. I had a noose around my neck and
these neckties I tied them around. I was thirteen, I'd
just been I'd just gotten back from this DC thing,
this kidnapping. It was horrible. My mom told me to
keep it a secret. And you're only as sick as
your secrets. And and I tied these neckties around this

(37:51):
closet and over the top, and I tied them to
the door knob, and I made a new that I
learned in Tenderfoot and whatever boy Scouts and cup Scouts
and all that, and I I had a news and
I started choking. I was dangling, and I wanted attention.

(38:13):
I wanted somebody to say I love you, something like that.
My mom walks in, She's, oh my god, what are
you doing? This is a quote, Oh my god, those
are new neck ties. Get up. Some people think that's
sick humor. I don't care. To me, it's funny. It's
who she is. There's nothing wrong with her. And by

(38:35):
the way, I was dangling on my knees and I
did just get up. I wasn't really really committing suicide.
But this goes back to the point I was kind
of making, is lightening up with the judgment being more forgiving,
being loving. Yes, I have those sides of me that

(38:58):
have been all throughout this podcast. Maybe angry, nasty, Yeah,
it's all part of it, all part of my emotions.
I might cry there's a threat. I don't know. So
this is what Rundle says, he goes, oh. Then he says,
please look at the situation you've created with your other sons,
my older sons. I have a hard time with my

(39:20):
older sons. They've been absolutely indoctrinated to think that if
I even ask them to wash a window, that it's abuse.
That's their mom is talked to men and some boys.
They end up gravitating towards their mom and then they
all get together, Oh he's the bad guy. I get
painted as the bad guy. It's tough. That is one
of the toughest things in my life is defending myself.

(39:42):
I don't want to defend myself. Albert Brooks had a
great movie Defending your Life. I don't want to defend
my life, and sometimes I'm forced to us and ended
up in court with her false allegations. Both sons watch
that happen. Both sons watched me show up and be
the coach and make sure that they had unbelievable lives
introduced into people where my son is an incredible job.

(40:02):
Because of all the jobs I got them up until
that point and got them in college, all those things
all out the window because of holding on to a
resentment that is encouraged by the mom. It's called parent alienation.
I've been on the other side of it, and it's ugly
and it sucks. Got to pray for her, gotta love
her anyway. Same with my sons who are making this choice.

(40:27):
And I believe that when people can't tell the truth,
they block. That's a thing that's going on and now
in society, and there's a silent treatment. I just, I
just I can't encourage you more. Maybe that's another reason
for doing this, is encourage you if you're holding on
to something, you know, there's the old expression, you're drinking
poison and hoping they die. It's not going to serve

(40:48):
a purpose or to judge even me in my process,
or judge anybody else, or judge anyone else's process. Maybe
I'm judging load process. This is part of her process
is to go join a cult, join a bunch of
women that say that men are this and all that
kind of thing. He says, look at the situation you

(41:10):
created with your sons. Then he says another text, your
relationship with your children are heading down the same path
as those sons. Here's another threat. I have enough in
my back pocket to open up a lot of eyes
and can take this as far as you like. This
is this guy came out of nowhere. By the way,
I've never met him, never talked to him. So where
is this information coming from that he's making these threats? Folks,

(41:33):
you know where it's coming from. I'm coming after you.
And just know that this is my vow that I
will protect Lotus and broke. He vows to protect Lotus,
who he does not know now, he says, he threat

(41:54):
I have his children's my other son's mother's contact, and
they're wanting to work with me. What do you think
that says? What that says is, oh, there's this collusion
that's going to happen. They're getting together and here is
the demonised guy, and they're going to come after this guy.
Here's all the evidence. There's no evidence that's true. There's

(42:14):
a perception of evidence that's true. And when people get
together and it's gossip and rumor and all that kind
of stuff. I had to deal with it. It's cost
me a million dollars to hold on to custody. They're
not grateful for that. I guess there are more rescues
that I have to learn my lesson, But there. I
was coaching every team, basketball, baseball, football. I coached them
all throughout their lives and gave every single thing I
could possibly give, and they're rage towards me. Some of

(42:41):
the rage has to do with I would involve them
in saying, hey, can you can you write a letter
to the court. Can you write a letter to the
people and tell the truth that these are absolute lies
that their mom was telling. I mean, the worst lies
you can even imagine. I can't even say them, and
that's that bad. But I think you can understand probably
what she did. He says Craig with exclamation points. You're

(43:05):
a damaging force in your children's lives, a man who
never met me. Think about that. Think about that. The
programming that this guy has from broke that he's going
to do her bidding for her and be the protective guy.
This creep. You're extremely self serving and causing extreme harm

(43:26):
to your children. How does he know that I'm causing
the harm when this woman he's protecting. That's the other
thing is I actually hope that he listens to this
podcast and maybe he has a transformation, he realizes what
he's bringing A man who is also by the way,
to report to the child's services for his violence. And

(43:48):
that's a fact, his violence towards her son. He actually
had the balls to tell me in one of these
texts that he coaches his football team. Yeah, you're all
about your image, guys, about everything about what it looks like.
But I happen to know what the truth is, and
so do people that have been part of the cult.
I have thirty five letters from people I've read some

(44:09):
of them before who have dealt with Lotus, who have
dealt with Broke, and they say this is a cult.
They rip me off. They're con artists, they're the ones
saying this, So it's not just me and sometimes. I
wrote a post today about I'll read that too, about
multi level marketing. I'm not knocking multi level marketing, but

(44:29):
I will tell you be warned that there are people
because there's no standards or no practice, no standards in practices,
there's no laws really in place. A lot of times
there is laws against pyramids, but there's not laws against frauds. Unfortunately,
in the society, a lot of criminals get away with things,
including broke, and Lotus says, you're extremely self serving, cause

(44:52):
and harm your children I'm going to stop you one
way or another. You need to understand that I am
a fighter. I want to ask you. Does that sound
like threatening me to me? It does? He says, you
have no idea who I am, and you're wrong on
every front. I will come after you with everything I have.
Please stop Craig from bringing this poison to your children
their lives as there's no excuse in anyway for pitting

(45:13):
your children against their mother. Understand, this is my last attempt.
Craig with four exclamation points, he copies his girlfriend, does
that too, us? Fyance whatever? Now you all understand the
word projection. So the mother's feeding him this. It's projecting

(45:35):
exactly what she's doing. When you kidnap children two different
times and then take them away from speaking to their father,
who's completely loving, there's zero reason for, zero reason for
it when you do that. When they see the disrespect,
they see the walking out of the room, they see
the rage, when they see the violence that is poisoning them,

(45:58):
that is what they will remember for the rest of
their lives. And that is what I keep asking her
and encourage her and inviting her to a new realm
of possibility to cease that admit that, become aware of it,
then you can have a transformation. Then you can cease
this behavior that is causing them harm. The assessment that
I'm poisoning them the only thing, and the other wife

(46:21):
did the same thing. Telling the truth of them and
responding to a tax is not poisoning. It's saying I
want to protect this family with all I have. That's
what it is. Factually, I'm defending so that they have
a dad that's not put in prison. She already put
me in jail. The other one tried to put me
in jail when she was the violent one as well,
throw a knife at me. I am telling you it's

(46:43):
a toxic world out there, and women are encouraged to
do this. A lot of them. Don't go, don't go
run an Oh, misogynous sexist. That's another thing that people
do is they put that label on and they can't
hear anymore. I'm a big white guy, big white guy, misogynist, sexist, incorrect.

(47:04):
I have compassion and empathy, always have a single mother,
Always always had that. But now I'm having an understanding.
It's like the bar went too far the other way.
Attacks on people who are innocent and I am innocent.
I did what I have to keep saving this something
that happened this week. I won't listen or be subjected

(47:27):
to any nonsense from you, is what he says. How's
it nonsense? Feeding back the truth. I'm the one experiencing.
You're not Buster Brown. You guessed wrong about me, My
family and any names, every and any names my kids,
he never met them. Is anyone to understand how sickness

(47:47):
is and that this is the direction that my ex
wife took instead of going into the family, going out
of this and making her own family. He names the
kids the one that he beat. My job in life
is protecting what I experienced in my child. I won't

(48:08):
be subjected to your delusions. Well that's projection, and it's
also actually what I'm about. I don't suffer bullies, folks,
I really don't. I was majorly bullied, and that's not
like cyber bully. This was really coyote wild and beatings
to my stripping me down to my underwear and tearing

(48:29):
my underwear to the point I had such shame I
didn't want to show my mom. So I have strips
for underwear. Beaten to a pulp hung by lockers, jammed
into lockers, head put into the toilet, wedgies that were
my ass was completely raw and rashed. Beatings, actual beatings

(48:51):
with gangs of people beating me senselessly, and I just
covered up. And now I married someone who was a hippie,
kind sweet met in a spiritual center, growing divinely inspire,

(49:14):
fill with integrity, and now she's the bully. I told
her this. When I did my big amends, I was crying.
That is one time I actually cried and everyone was
We're all so happy that I took on everything. It
was full accountability. I might have explained this before, but
it's really a wonderful experience. Surrender really is the greatest victory,

(49:34):
I guarantee you. So maybe that's another reason I'm doing
this is I'm letting you know I have story after
story where it's not about blame. It's about, oh, this
is what did I bring in here? What did I bring?
Where did I lie? Where did I join a cult?
To you know? Whatever it is, you know, admit it,
He says. This is my word to you. I won't

(49:55):
have any more contact, truly, hope you find the help
you need. I need help. According to this guy. Those
are some of the threatening text messages. There's more where
he sees her and she goes into denial and actually said,
it's on the table, that's on the table, that's out
in the ether. I don't care how much time has passed,
months have passed, I don't care. I don't care. When's

(50:18):
the blow day. When's the blow day where they've had
enough and they come after me. When's the something where
they harm my children? When of the children kidnapped? You
don't know, We don't know. You can't depend on her
being this sweet person. We can't depend on because we've
already seen the results of it, getting a safe house
with alleged abuse, she had to get a safe house,
The violence, the throwing remote my face, these are the

(50:38):
things that come off the top of my head. Having
me arrested after she charged me and ripped my clothes
and scratched me and clawed at me, and then kidnapped
the kids and took them away, wouldn't let them speak
to their father, who they love. By the way, this
is no, this is not This is probably a perception
while but I don't believe it is. The children actually

(50:59):
do favor this direction over here, they've said very plainly,
and they spoke to their mom through a video for
an hour and a half saying this exact truth. So
if anyone wants to question me, I'll show you the video.

(51:21):
I always wonder when people commit crimes, to say, how
come they don't take a light detective test and how
come they don't do this thing? I said, no, I'll
do all these things because I'm not lying. He said,
I remember my ex the other acts before he said, oh,
he'll take an a light she wouldn't take a light
detective test. I would, and I did. I'd passed my
own light detective test. That's how sick he is. He

(51:43):
could take one and pass it. Well, go ahead, you
take one. I'll take my chances on that because I
know you're lying saying with lotus or some of you saying, well, boy,
this guy maybe it's him. Yeah, it is me, It
is me. My reactions aren't the best sometimes my actions

(52:07):
of all right, I'm going to get into the damn
story I've been threatening to tell. So I'm not the
type who's leggious happen to be married to people who
are she agreed to in the beginning, Oh she did
this whole phony, fake thing of conscious uncoupling. That's another

(52:29):
thing like holding space. Oh, what a bunch of conscious uncoupling.
We won't use attorneys, and then we start to go
mediat her so that she storms out of there at
a tantrum and that costs me. It was fifte eight
hundred dollars or something like that. She wouldn't split it.
I asked her to split it many times. This is
after she stole a million dollars from the house that

(52:49):
I bought before I knew her, and all thattly camera
and changed the pass word. These are all facts. People
don't think anything of them. This is like major stuff.
It's criminal. You might be this hippie. It's a criminal.
And how far does the criminal go. That's what's scary
when you see how many times I've written and say, hey, let's,
you know, go to a spiritual council, let's do whatever.

(53:11):
I've tried everything, neutral parties, everything to reach out there. Nope,
this is one stubborn person. Well wow, is she stubborn?
Won't give an inch? If she does, she does a
quid pro quote every single time she goes I'll do
this if you do this. I even tried some of

(53:31):
that reverse. I said, I'll pay you money if you
let the kids go to this counselor. No, I wouldn't
do it. I had them with the counselor. She sends
the counselor a video to have me reported for child services,
which did happen because I was talking to the kids
in the back seat and it was endangering them when
they had the camera. I wasn't doing it anyway. That's

(53:52):
how far and sick our society is with men. And
then they did it with the arrest. They arrested me,
not heard, wouldn't listen to me even I had the scratches.
That's where we are. So that's a fact. You can
be mad at me all you want. That's where we
are because men did some horrible things throughout society. I
mean I watch things on you know, like, yeah, men

(54:12):
are the serial killers. But I'll tell you what happened
these last few weeks show that's a killer. I I
do this meditation group on Sundays, and I went to
the group. It's called Asanga, and so I can really

(54:37):
keep my vibration high. I go to several people. I
go to this woman who helps me out she's in
hypnotherapy and helps me sleep and helps you other things.
And then it's gonna achille my boy. You know, I
just get this help. We all need it. My other
reason for doing this is I encourage you to always
reach out to people. Do not keep secrets. You're sick

(54:59):
ause you're seeking to. Not keep saying. This is no
secret anymore. She'd love it to be a secret. She
thinks she wants people to know that she's violent and
completely out of her mind. She doesn't want people to
know that. But the rub is that me even having
the children talk to her on the video, I'll get
in trouble for that. That's the society we're in. That's

(55:21):
the society of withstanding. That's the poisoning of children. No,
I'm asking the children tell the truth. That's not poison
It's a truth that people don't want to hear. No
one wants to hear that. The hippie, kind hearted soul
who holds hands with her her guru and runs out
of the water, no one wants to believe that of her.

(55:44):
She plays the part to the hilt. Anyway, I'm scrolling
and this woman. I'm a single guy now and dating
not liking it at all. I have five in a row,
five dates in a row that a blow into a
breathalyzer tube to start their car swear. I only saw

(56:07):
it one other time. My friend Randy had it. That
was it. I never seen one before, and now five
in a row looking at their front seat there it is,
woh crazy, That's what I'm drawing in. But I hope
you're laughing at that, because I'm laughing at it. That's
what I draw in. That's obviously what I'm drawing in
here with this insanity. Maybe it's just what I know.
Maybe this is a process for me to keep having

(56:29):
these discoveries. Well, I had another one. This time. I
see this woman speaking from a beach looking into the camera. Beautiful,
but it wasn't the beauty of the smile, which a
beautiful face. It was the way she was saying it.

(56:51):
It was coming from a space of helping people. And
I dmd her and I said I'd like to have
you on my podcast. And it turns out I did
not follow her. Don't even know how this. At the time,
I thought, oh, this is like almost a miracle, because
this person pops up, no dating app no nothing. I
didn't have to do any of the vetting because she

(57:13):
already was a fan of my comedy for years and
made their kids have my vhs. There are now forty
older than all my dating profile. But everything about her,
I went, oh my god, you have found You did it, Craig,
you did it after all this pain, you did it.

(57:37):
And this is what I was going to have the
podcast after the following thing happened. So we start dating
and wow, you know black belt. We go to her
me and the kids went to her class. You know,
once we know it was just just beautiful, just so
kind and sweet and funny and fun and it's just

(58:00):
I just couldn't believe it. I fell in love and
it was something I had not felt in a long time,
well since Lotus love. And uh, well maybe I will cry.

(58:24):
I let her in. I took a vacation house. Usually
you went to go to Jersey Shore. It's tough to
afford these things anymore. It's been compromised severely by my
ex wife stealing money or taking money or just blowing
everything up. And suddenly I'm in a house, a very
expensive house, because she moved us in here with the

(58:45):
thoughts that she was going to move out in the
middle of the night. So I'm stuck with this and
sold bills and everything else. And then she got me
on the deal with the You know, a man have
to pay. Man always got to pay the child support,
hard work and you gotta do that doesn't make any sense.
I remember talking to my lawyer about He called me

(59:06):
a misogynist. I said, this isn't fair. He said, you
act like a misogynists and I was so angry with him.
So she comes into my life cooks I'm a cook too,
or sharing a cooking, sharing the shopping, just eating wonderful
healthy food which she coaches, by the way she coaches.

(59:28):
And then we went for a walk from the beach
and on the way up to this place, this is
me admitting my failures. I was projecting all of the
kids my stuff. I'm just going to admit one of
the things. I said, why not. You know, I was trying.

(59:50):
I was going back and forth, being positive and you know,
and also expressing my fear. I had been to the
court and I so I did the following things and ready,
because I was so tired of her turning me down.
I politely decline anything that I do or say, by
the way, she went to two different lawyers after saying
we wouldn't go to lawyers. Ninety thousand dollars later, when

(01:00:10):
she said she wouldn't, here we go. Still. Yeah, we're lies.
We're lies, and the children suffer for This is what
people don't understand. The children suffer financially, emotionally when you're
in conflict. I'm trying to stay out of conflict. You've
got somebody that goes in tantrums, doesn't get her own way.
This is what happens, the fact another lawyer, I get

(01:00:32):
a lawyer. I don't want to get a lawyer. I
hated this guy too. Oh god, this guy was just deplorable.
I'm sorry. I love him anyway, So I I on
the way up there, here's the part I regret I

(01:00:54):
said too, And I could just watch their energy was
really sinking. The way up there, we're supposed to be
going on this vacation. We're driving this beautiful shorehouse, this gorgeous,
giant place on the sand, thirty minutes away. So we
packed up a lot of stuff instead of getting on
a plane going to Jersey Shore like normally that's where

(01:01:15):
we went. And so there I was my two younger
children missing, my two older ones who love the beach,
you know, but they're they're kind of out right now
with me. So I'm really frustrated. And I had been
to the court, so I'm already anxious, and I took
a picture of it and I sent it to her,
just like, look, you want to keep going here, I'm
not going to allow you to go on your vacation

(01:01:36):
out of state. And I have the vacation because you're
not going out of state, definitely not out of the country,
which she's always tried to do. I'm afraid of her kidnapping.
And I had plenty of information for the court, and
I talked to somebody there and they're like, oh yeah,
so I was going to get a restraining order, And
actually I was even thinking about doing a restraining order
to actually get custody. I thought about that as well,

(01:01:59):
because I ease could do that just with all this
proof and the children. Interview the children, I got no
question about that. I'd said, anybody interview the children, this
is what they experience. Nothing to do with poisoning. It's
their experience. They told her for an hour and a half,
and her response was that I had them, you know,
blah blah blah, you know all the traditional stuff. It's me,

(01:02:20):
it's me, it's me. Couldn't be you can it, lotus.
It couldn't be. You couldn't just take that moment and
take your children in, take in their feelings at what
they're saying about how you blew up their lives, how
you treated their father, who they love, How you've been

(01:02:41):
so torturous in your behavior, torturous and subjecting us all
to this and having no apology, no regret, and no
working on yourself. They're asking her to go get some rehabilitation.
They've asked her flat out because she promised them that
she would. Then she said, I'll do it if he

(01:03:01):
does it. She just makes all these quid pro quotes.
She can't do something I said, can't you just get diagnosed?
She goes, I don't need to be diagnosed. That people
told me I'm not a narcissist, no matter how many
pieces of evidence I say, yeah, it's ma leagnant narcissism.
Anybody that's just unconscious that would do this to me
and the children just like that and think nothing of
it and don't come back and go sorry about that

(01:03:23):
let me reset never doesn't exist with her. That's sick
and pathological. So on the way up, I had written
a note to her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend in Colorado,
and the kids expressed that they were afraid that they
were gonna get kidnapped or one of them did the
kidnapped to Colorado because they don't know either, and she's that,

(01:03:44):
you know, crazy, and so I want to protect them.
And on the way up, uh, I was really kind
of you know, hear him go on vacation. I had
just been to the chort. I was going to go
back to the court and carry this out. I was
going to send a letter to the boyfriend telling them
the truth, because I know he has kids. Does he

(01:04:06):
want to subject his kids this? Does he want to
subject himself to her lies and deceit? Which is just tolerable.
It's unbelievable the levels of lies that she has. She
actually said to me home from Japan, and secrecy is
a virtue. No not no, it's not. It's a lie,
and it's no good to lie anyway. So I was toxic,

(01:04:29):
and then I tried to go to gratitude. I said,
what do you like most about mom? And dad and
my son said something really nice about her. It said
something about she's a good mom, and sure enough not
in my spiritual conditioning. In my resentment, I said, what

(01:04:50):
kind of mom would do this to you? Yeah, I
am ashamed of that, but I do not wish to
ignore that, and I didn't. So this new girlfriend comes up,

(01:05:14):
we go for a walk on the beach, and she
said something to me that I couldn't wait for her
to actually come on this podcast to talk about this perspective.
What I was talking about earlier is how women have
become a certain way. A lot of women, too many
that I've faced, have become this certain way that she's
about to describe like this as what she said. She said,

(01:05:35):
See if I can paraphrase or get to it. She said,
women ask for a guy to be a certain guy
a certain way, then he gives that to her. Then
they get together with other women who have this unresolved
rage that is literally clinical towards men. They build up

(01:05:59):
a whole case from decades and decades of people of
the generational generational abuse that men did do and women
didn't have rights. I totally get it. And she said
they get together these toxic, toxic femininity. And then they
feel like they have power, like they didn't have power

(01:06:22):
to begin with, and they're gonna go get that power.
And the way to have that power is to diminish
the man. And she said this. She said, then, one
thing that a man wants is respect, and that's the
first thing they do is disrespect. And that's what Lotus

(01:06:42):
did to me often. And and then and then was
about that we use the word victim. I don't want
to be a victim, then she said, and then they
act like victims. I'm going, wow, it's like right out
of the playbook exactly what I'm dealing with, all these
attacks and her with these women's groups. And you go, girl,
and get your power and independence. I mean, what kind

(01:07:08):
of bill of goods is that you get married? You're married, Yeah,
be independent within the marriage grade. I'll encourage it's great,
And I did. I supported the first cult eighty thousand
dollars later supported this one hundreds of thousand dollars later
that I invested in things that she wouldn't even show
me a business plan, medicine, journeys and all this kind
of stuff. All this nine thousand dollars were coaching program.

(01:07:28):
I mean, I'm all these bills, and I remember saying,
oh my god. When I said no to the nine
thousand dollars, she said, I'm gonna do it anyway. I went,
oh my god, I have no rights. I have no rights.
A man can't do what he used to do, which
was wrong. Is hit So that swung so far the
other way that it looks like the man is in

(01:07:50):
control and shackling and all that kind of stuff. So
that's where so she explained this to me, Oh my god,
and just her doing that, I kind of got acknowledged.
I got acknowledged that first of all, my thoughts are
not bad thoughts. I just got affirmed. It's like, yes,

(01:08:11):
it's the level of dice. Let's say to Lotus all
the time. And why do you disrespect me in front
of the children like this. What do you think you're
teaching them? They're going to be married someday, maybe maybe
they're going to marry. I said, what do you think
you're telling our daughter how to treat a man? And
what do you think about telling him how he should
be treated. I've said it to her many times, and
when someone does an intervention, someday or maybe some day

(01:08:33):
when she gets helped, maybe she'll get to that it's
just not what you do. I've got my own responsibility
of my reactions and things like that. But in general, no,
I showed up and sued it up. Even being cut
off of sex for years, when she's talking about orgasms
on the internet, on the social media, it's a violation

(01:08:55):
to be cut off. My mom's calling me, I love
my mom. I mean, what's the message you send the
children when you don't work on your marriage and you
attack the other person like they're the problem. You blame them,
and then you get other people to help you blame

(01:09:16):
because you know that it's going to go towards the guy.
Guys are pigs, the guys are cheaters. I remember when
I first got divorced, they go, what'd you do? What
did you do? It's a natural instinct for people because
it's men always known as the cads, the Letharios and
all of that. I did other things, Yeah, I did
other things to you know, I definitely could have done

(01:09:38):
a lot of more spiritual work and make sure that
we kept going back to where we met and all
that kind of stuff. Yeah, I regret that, but it
is what it is. But in the meantime, that person
that we were growing together stopped growing and went right
in this other direction of hate and resentment and anger
and rage, couched by it, hidden by this ego. Oh

(01:10:02):
I got her a gift one time. I don't regret
the gift. That is kind of funny. I got her
a gift. She was so happy, a vanity light. She
has all these videos, she dances, and she has all
these proclamations about life. It's about this, it's about that.

(01:10:22):
It's all theoretical. You ain't living one bit of it.
It's all I So I go for this walk with
this girlfriend and called a girlfriend. I mean, this was
like it's on, and I'm I'm gonna get in there
and dedicate myself. It's hard to get all those dating apps,
you know, they're addictive, but I'm going to do this.

(01:10:45):
I was making some adjustments older than I was on
my dating app profile, you know. And but I just
love that she was an adult. I love that I
didn't have to do my shtick. And because she already
knows that I'm funny. She's been the loads of shows.
Her kids were brought up with me, and it was
so wonderful, and so I trusted her, and I came

(01:11:08):
back and I went to the kids full on, just
like they had in MAUI meacolp apology. I said, you
can go out of state with your mom, go anywhere
you want. And I called their mom in front of them.
I said, Lotus or her real name, said, I'm so sorry.

(01:11:29):
You go anywhere you want. I'm not going to do
any restraining orders, which I had threatened to do, and
I'm not going to write a letter to your boyfriend.
Go have a great time. And I believe she thanked me,

(01:11:50):
most likely, and the kids just had a whole transformation
right on the spot. So did I. It's beautiful, just
like that MALOI time. They got up and hugged the
girlfriend because they knew that she inspired it. This long,
long walk, I came back from it, had an amazing

(01:12:14):
time at the beach. Her family comes, her grandchildren, children
teaching my kids, you know, just fighting sticks, you know
from the dojo that they own, and really just incredible
and friends and just everything I love about life happened.
We're cooking together and just breaking bread with good friends.

(01:12:35):
Came to this house. They happened to be down the street,
and another one down the street, another one drove, and
my kids both had friends there the entire time. The
entire time I was with these these kids, their parents
never checked in with me. I couldn't believe it. Now
once so seven days, it was amazing. That's what I love.
The playing on the beach and all of that. And

(01:12:56):
there she was, and then we are to really get
into this, this relationship and to the point of, you know,
cooking new types of meals and the children love it
and love her. And then even working with my business
and saying that she knows how to do this business,

(01:13:17):
you know, have a coaching business, and getting in there
with somebody who works with me, and everyone loves her.
All the friends love her all the dinner. Then she
came to my workshops. I have these workshops. I did
wanted a spiritual start. I did wanted a Canyon Club.
I have these laughter heals workshops and teach people how
to use laughter, use the alchemy of laughter to make

(01:13:38):
yourself better. I love these programs, by the way, They're
really really cool, and people dug it. And there she
was with that smile on her face. There she did
kind of shows and hanging out with the other comedians.
And then she brings her stepdaughter to another show. There
she was there, she was, there's just smiles. And then
she says, I built this home and now and she

(01:14:00):
showed it to me because it's up for sale again.
Years later, it's up for sale. I'm looking to say,
oh my god, she's so clever and smart. She built
this house. It's like a sanctuary, all these impressive things,
and just just dedicated to this communion and union that
was going on with families and frivolity and happiness and

(01:14:24):
playing in the sand and building. I built this beautiful
rock garden that I had everybody in a zen way
contribute to this rock garden. All of this was happening.
All my dreams are coming true. And then she says,
let's look for places together. Okay, so there's this land.

(01:14:50):
All this land is for sale because the fires out here.
And okay, we went we found a property. She goes,
I'm going to build a villa here with you. Okay, great,
And I'm saying to myself, this is who I want.
I want someone who's evolved. I want someone who is evolving.

(01:15:12):
I want someone who is really tender and sentimental and
connected and shows up at these spiritual centers with me,
in church with me. I mean I go to different places.
I go everywhere I can, folks, because I want to
live a fulfilled, meaningful life. That is not about me
and my power in my head. It's about a higher source,

(01:15:36):
a potency that exists in me. Love, light, and levity.
It's what I teach and I encourage people to go there.
That's what she was doing with me, with no doubts, nothing,
no fights. Oh my god, Craig, what's going on here?
And she told me what women are like, and it
may be affirmed for me. This is what these ilk,

(01:15:58):
that's what the brokes of the world. She really eyes
on women like that. Let's go girls, let's go get them,
Let's attack them, even though she's got rundel I break
up all the time, by the way, but they prey
upon other women. It can't work this stuff out within themselves.
Work it out, work out the rage, work out the
the memes and the DNA that's in there that with

(01:16:20):
this hatred. Work it out. I don't want to be
on the other side of it, and I was not
with her. Oh my god, this is amazing. And I
did have that with Lotus. I used to be. It
was like a miracle with Lotus. And then I'm in Philadelphia,

(01:16:40):
my hometown, gathering people together, and I did it. There
is communion, just that I love. It's just been all
this going on here in Los Angeles, the beach house,
in my house, and all these wonderful things of friendships
and joy and laughter with her, looking at homes and dreaming.

(01:17:04):
And then I'm sitting there this large table with all
these old friends I've known literally since third grade, fourth grade,
best friend. There a text message appears. She ended it

(01:17:25):
like that, don't respond a text message. After bringing these
families together, children loving her, which people warn me, don't
introduce your children to anybody by when there's no way

(01:17:45):
somebody like this, It's like, this is of course I'm
going to introduce them. And she loved them, she would say,
loved her just like that. That quick and that bomb
that I felt when my kidnaped the kids in the
middle of the night, I felt it again, like what

(01:18:09):
in the world could you be thinking, Lotus? And now
you what could you possibly be thinking? I'm away, which
that's very vulnerable. That's when Lotus did it. By the way,
the duplication the parallels were spooky. What happened At first

(01:18:33):
she has a couple excuses, Then she has the gods
to go, I don't want children. Well, you just spent
all this time with them and never said a single
not a single word was ever said. And I'm going
all these things are coming up for them. You've gotta
be kidding me. So then she said, Okay, I'll talk

(01:18:55):
to you at three o'clock to three o'clock arrives. No,
I'm not going to talk to you. It's over again.
Just sideswipe. What in the world? What is this a
man me? I want to make sense of something. I
want to know what did I do? What did I do?
What did I do? What could I correct? How can

(01:19:15):
we correct this? That solution, guy, that's what I go to.
I go to solution. What can I do? Same with lotus?
What can I do? How can I amend my behavior?
Way willing to do that? Wouldn't even hear it. She
finally wrote back with some excuse of but she's I
apologize for trying to manipulate outcome. That was her big

(01:19:39):
and what I'm trying to say to you. The parallels
is when you make amends to somebody, you take actions.
Otherwise it's words, and the words are coming from the
toxic femininity, and it's out there that thinks that it's
okay to do this and don't challenge or you're the
abuser get blocked. So here's what happened. So finally time goes.

(01:20:04):
But I'm really really upset to do this to the kids.
I was really really upset, and to me, of course,
really upset, not to the point of anger, like raging,
but really I said some I said some cutting things,
you know, some, but they weren't like it wasn't necessarily
like you know, you're a name call. It was like,

(01:20:24):
this happened. You don't do this, Like how do you
say you're going to look for a house and then
suddenly you do that? How do you do a text message?
I'm sorry I went about it the wrong way. You know,
it was little and I was just noticing pattern after
pattern of Lotus and people like that. And here's the irony,
the things that she said that these women are like.

(01:20:46):
She became exactly that she was projecting it. She became
a liar, she became a blamer, she became a victim
if I ever said anything back. I said something about,
you know, because she said that her husband went away
and like left the family, and she was for years
she had to process that. And I was going, oh, great,
I'll process it well. Heel together, and I said something like, yeah,

(01:21:10):
he probably left because you're like this, Oh you're rubbing
in my face. See be victim, gaslighting, all that kind
of stuff. That's all this dynamic was happening. So then
she says, we finally, you know, some days go by,
come back. I just keep thinking, oh, this is like
a bad dream. You gotta be kidding mess. It reminds

(01:21:32):
me of the blow up of the family. But you know,
just I still haven't told the kids. I still today,
I haven't told the kids yet. Okay, just pray for
a miracle. Maybe miracle's gonna happen. Maybe is she really
following the same exact pattern of Lie's Deceit? Is she really?

(01:21:52):
And then I look and I'm my god, it was
almost like I was reading Brokes thing. I didn't even
realize this. I saw her Facebook post, not post, but
her graphic is I help women blah blah blah blah.
Booh that's what Brooks Brokes is that's what it is.
It's the same language. She's talking about these people where
she helped me heal, thinking, Oh, here's the one that's

(01:22:14):
not like that. She's exactly like that, and exactly word
for word patterned. I couldn't even I still cannot believe it.
It's some shell shocked like I was and still am
with Broke, I mean with Lotus. It's hard to use
the fake names, but they're close enough that I can
remember them. So so then finally she's gonna come clean.

(01:22:38):
She says, I'm gonna she makes an appointment to speak
to me by phone, and her coming clean was she says,
I went into your phone, she got my she'd got
my passwords somehow went into my phone, and I saw
you making arrangements to meet a woman, and I guess

(01:22:59):
I was. I'm so shocked by it that I didn't
like defend or anything. I just I didn't say, how
dare you go on to my phone? Even I went oh,
And I used it as an opportunity to grow because
she was talking about me being on the phone all
the time, so she wanted to check out what I
was talking about doing on the phone. So I use

(01:23:21):
this as an opportunity. So I call ego evading growth opportunity.
I used, this is an opportunity for my growth. This
is this is going to turn into something wonderful and
then we can get back together and work on this
healing together. That's what my thought was. And it's great,
and I just fell on the sword full on. Thank
you for this. I reversed every single bit of difficulty
I was having, resentment or anger, whatever, it was, completely

(01:23:44):
shifted into this. Wow. Great, thanks for enlightening me. My
mom's been telling me that I'm on the phone too much.
My kids have told me I'm on the phone too much.
I do business. That's my justification of rationalization. But it's
not good. It took me away from my bond with her.
So I said okay, and then I made an appointment

(01:24:10):
to talk to her. I was gonna surprise her, and
somebody stopped me. I said, no, that might feel creepy
at her. I said, okay, I was going to drive
to her. She's some ways away anyway, So we made
an appointment to talk and I felt the energy. It
was lotus. It was the same thing, cut off, stubborn,

(01:24:31):
righteous blaming, victim, all of it coming back at me.
Oh whoa. So I said, let's let's let's uh, let's
shift the energy. Let's take a breath, and I kind
of prayed us in. You know. Nope, same doesn't want
to hear it, you know, considers it being coached. All

(01:24:52):
these things were coming up for her. Well, why would
you do this to my children? She just I just
couldn't tell you. But you were getting a house with me.
Oh sorry, you know these And that's what Lotus does
as well, Like the actions could be. Now I'm back in.
Let's let's work this out. Let's not end it with

(01:25:15):
actually no fights leading up to it, no patterns, nothing
that can't be dealt with. Nope, and then no, she's out.
I'm done. Do you have anything else to say? She says, yeah,
I do. She would listen to it. Do you have

(01:25:36):
anything else to say? Really condescending like Lotus, And it
all came clear to me, I'm painting another red flag green.
I wanted her to be something that she's not. I
want to believe these life coaches. I want to believe them.

(01:26:00):
When she looks into that camera, I was attracted to
that to begin with. I'll have to work out what
that's about. One of the reasons I am doing this.
This is a warning, warning myself and warning you. And
she was out. I tried a number of times and

(01:26:21):
then I realized, wait a minute, just like Lotus, she
violated my trust. I had no reason for that. Now,
some women would go and man, are not trustworthy. That's
a horrible thing to say. I didn't do anything. It
wasn't trustworthy and I and by the way, I actually

(01:26:41):
was like believing her. I go, yeah, I forgot that.
It wasn't even a flirtation, was actually a business for
this agency. She happens to be out here. I said, oh,
I'll meet you there. And I never even met her,
but I don't know. I assume when she told me, yeah,
you were making arrangements of another woman. I just want
I'm so sorry. I went right to that and well,
and then I read it last night. I didn't, so

(01:27:07):
that made me even more upset that she broke up
with me based on a false premise that she was
searching for evidence to get out. But the worst part
is to do it to the children, to have them
fall for her. Ugh, that's ugly. All right, I'm going
to read some of these to you, and I'm gonna

(01:27:27):
come back and have another podcast. What I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna probably have Lorie Valo from Sins to
My Mother. A lot of people know the story of Arizona.
She killed her two children and her husband and her brother. Well,
the brother that's alive is a friend of mine. I'll
probably have him on. Maybe Katherine Oxenburg. I talked to
her when the certain initially happened. Her daughter went through

(01:27:48):
anexium cult. Horrible. She spent years trying to get her out.
That's some one thing I haven't done with Lotus is
I really haven't dedicated because now it's my ex wife.
But I sure wish that you would get out and
be the mom that she really is, even be the
ex wife that she really is, be a good person
that she really is. This is not a good person,

(01:28:09):
or it's the manifestation of things that are not a
good person. Same with this girlfriend. Wow, it's like cruel
It's like cruel behavior, both of them. I'm going, what
in the hell did I do? I can only think
it's from another life. I mean from this life when
I was bad and cheated on someone else. I mean,
I don't know. I mean, I have to figure this out.

(01:28:29):
But man, this was a killer. It's just it was
a gut wrenching back to being single now I am, yeah,
I want right back to I don't want the pain.

(01:28:50):
I really don't. People say, oh no, you should sit
with you. Okay, you can have your judgment all you want.
I don't feel like it. But through a lot of
my life there's so much pain. I don't deserve to
be treated like this. The disrespect she talked about women doing,
that's exactly what she's done with me. It's an utter disrespect.

(01:29:11):
It's not deserved. The generational stuff. I would encourage anybody
to just work on that stuff. I'll continue to work
on general generational stuff with women. But I will tell
you much my healed women thing. I saw my mom
again last week, and it's amazing. I love being with
my mom. She loves being with me. She calls me
up and says, I believe her depression. We will laugh
every time we're together. It's constant, and she still is

(01:29:34):
the same person who needs to bug that out of me.
I didn't speak to her for five years. It's four years.
Most amazing healing so I know it's there. It's what
I hope for in this case and even the case
with this ex girlfriend. Now, I mean, I am really
really displeased, to say the least, and sad and hurt,
and I'm gonna have to tell these children. They'll be

(01:29:55):
so hurt. And by the way, because of what their
mom says, they're gonna blame me. That's the thing is,
men get blamed. Please, if you're listening to this with
an open heart, please don't blame. I always hear women
always say, oh, I don't say anything bad about the guy. Yeah,
you are, you are many times maybe it's not you,

(01:30:17):
so don't take it personal if it's not you. But
I know my mom used to say it about my dad,
and she never said anything. She said always said bad
things about my dad, always until his funeral. I actually
laughed when she wouldn't even go to the funeral, because
right up and told the funeral, she was saying how
bad he was to us, that he was, and she
gets up, she goes, I'm gonna speak on what the hell?

(01:30:38):
She gets up, she goes, he was a great guy.
And we laugh about that. By the way, we laugh
even about that. We call her on it anyway, So
here we go. These are translations of I'm a life coach.
I'm gonna end with this, okay. These are to make
you laugh a little bit. I like to turn things
around with a little bit of laughter. I'm a life

(01:31:00):
coach translation. I'll charge you two hundred dollars an hour
to tell you things your mom told you a bedtime.
I wish there was a laugh track. I teach emotional alchemy.
That's something that if you go to Lotus's page, she
teaches emotional alchemy. I said you should change it to
emotional abuse. So I teach emotional translation. I still have

(01:31:20):
no idea what that means, but I found it to
be very catchy. I coach women to find their independence.
That's a broke thing translation. I convinced women to emasculate
men and that men are not needed. I'm sure of
finding that a lot. Lotus and Broke got their two children,
they got their money from their husbands, and departed without

(01:31:41):
working on it. I don't know what this girlfriend was
up to. I am a little nervous if she would
break into my phone, Like, what else is she breaking into?
I took her all into all in I really thought
it was love. Okay. As a life coach, I help
others find their purpose. Translation. I'm still searching for mine,

(01:32:02):
but why not make money while I'm at it. Next,
I'm passionate about personal growth translation. My personal growth is
how much cash I can builk from you. I empower
people to live their best lives. Translation. I'm great at
giving advice, but don't ask me if I've ever done
anything resembling what I ask you to do. Boy, is
that's the case. One thing I'm very happy, or I

(01:32:25):
guess proud of is when I even do stand up
or when I do, I'd like to share the stories
and not the opinions and telling you what to do.
You need to do this, you do that. That's how
that all operates. That's how she got out. So when
I coach, I say, oh, here's an example of what
I'm coaching here, But they're not living this life. Oh.

(01:32:50):
I guide people to success. Translation. Success is relative like
how my rent is paid relative to how many clients
I snare this month. I'm an intuitive life coach. Translation.
I'll keep guessing till something sounds right. I've experienced all
of this, by the way, through the years. First, she
was with this I guess I could say raven. She
was with this raven woman and just watching this woman

(01:33:13):
pontificate from her bedroom on wasn't even skype at the time,
and all these women just just honoring everything she said.
And they see to it that you can't get out
of the group, and they'll shame you. That's another thing,
occult thing. They shame you if you get out. Lotus
would be so ashamed. If she was even to say
something nice about me in public, which she says it
to me privately, that would be part of her of

(01:33:36):
She would be chastised for it. Oh my god, how
dare you say that about a man show. I believe
in the power of positive thinking. I'm positive that I
can con you and you're my next mark. I'm here
to help you achieve your goals translation, as long as
your goals don't involve questioning my qualifications. I'm a certified

(01:33:58):
life coach. Translation. I took it on course for over
a weekend and print it out a certificate. I've always
had a passion for helping others. Translation. I've always had
a passion for not having a real job. That's the truth.
I work with clients to manifest their dreams. Translation. My
dream is to keep you as a client forever, so
don't get too well. I am here to hold you accountable. Translation.

(01:34:22):
I'll ask you how that goal is going, and when
it's not on track, I'm going to remind you it's
your fault. I specialize in transformation translation. I'll transform your
self doubt, doubt into an expensive dependency on my services.
I help people overcome their limiting beliefs, especially if the
belief is that I'm selling you a pyramid scheme. It's not.
It's multi level marketing, or you're empowered. I create a

(01:34:45):
safe space for growth. This safe space is a Wi
Fi connection on our zoom call. I help you unlock
your potential. Translation. I'll help you unlock your PayPal. There's more.
Go to my website, Go to Facebook. Greg Schoemaker Craig
Shoemaker on Facebook, follow me, give me a note please.

(01:35:06):
I'm not making any money from this. I hope, and
it's freeing some people. Hoping you're entertained, inspired, intrigued. I
hope to keep you away from people like this. I
really do. Me and my children have suffered from it.
They lost their mom. Their mom will not she's a
good mom by the way, like technically good mom. Not

(01:35:31):
good that she said all these bad things about me
in the neighborhood. Certain kids can't play with my kids
if they're with me. Yeah, it's pretty ugly. I asked
her to correct that as well. Will not do it.
So let's hope for let's send her some good energy,
and let's hope that she really does get Maybe somebody
says something to her. I don't know. Maybe that's what

(01:35:51):
will happen here. Maybe a relative will. I hope someone
has the courage. One thing I'm proud of is I
have courage. I'm always gonna have courage and resiliency and
I'll thrive. Yeah I got kicked this time, but I'll thrive.
I might even find the love of my life. You
never know. I don't know. I don't know what's going
to come out of this. Maybe this would be an

(01:36:12):
eight part series. Those could things are out there. I
watch all of them. They're out there for a reason
because they're a warning shot. You always sit there and
go tender swindler. I'm like, God, how could she believe that?
I believe this last girlfriend, all of it, I took
it all in I got swindled. I have to check
how much money's missing. Sometimes they go, what's your karme, man,

(01:36:36):
what's this all about? I did some bad stuff when
I was younger. Maybe it's that it's to destroy rich
people's property. Oh my god, it's the terrible things. I
don't anymore, though, I really try to do my best
to live a life of high vibration, rarefied air. So
I was talking about it with Achille today. I want

(01:36:57):
to hang with those people. By the way, if you
think you're one of those, if you think you're in
a rarefied air where you just want to be in
that space of healing and loving, be loved and be healed.
If you want that, I want to come, Padre. I
want to team up. I'm here talk and support one another.
I'm about solutions, and I would love it if you

(01:37:20):
did that. You reach out and say, maybe something vulnerable.
I'll share my some of my vulnerable stuff as if
I haven't already. I'll go have a good cry at
some point, just not now. So you didn't get me,
all right, So please give a nice review rating and
spread the word. I have no money to not no money,
but I'm not going to dedicate any money to the
marketing of this. I'm going to allow it to have

(01:37:40):
its own flow, genuine energy flow. If it catches on,
it catches on. If it doesn't, it's okay. If two
people listen to it, it's okay. The results are not
in my hands. The results are not in my hands.
Especially with my ex wife. It's not in my hands.
I got to do my best. Believe me, I'm tempted
to go get that restraining order. Oh, but bringing the

(01:38:01):
legal system, I can guarantee you I will listen to me.
Listen to me. If you're getting divorced, don't do it.
Agree not to do it, and stick with the agreement.
That's what the kids want. They don't want conflict. I've
had game nights with her. I try my best with Lotus,
and I'll continue to try. I'll keep inviting her, I'll
keep opening that space it's closed. Sometimes my heart is

(01:38:23):
broken and I'm scared of her. I'm scared of her.
But still the children are always going to know at
the end of the day, the dad's going to do
what I did in releasing them to go on this trip, which,
by the way, they thanked me, and they said they
had a great time with her. She did not kidnap them,
she didn't do anything like that. She's a great mom.
So but she's still programmed, and she's still part of

(01:38:44):
this group, and they're still ripping people off, and so
be warned. All right, I'm sending you all lots of love.
I'm sending myself lots of love. I need it right now.
Oh please, one more thing. Please don't feel sorry for
me when it begins with I feel pad for you. No, please,
I'm not after your pity. It's just not who I am.

(01:39:09):
I'm after perhaps you being inspired, being curious, you being helpful,
you being honest, you being open, being willing to perhaps
have changes in your life you can ask me about.
And yes, i'd still have. My coaching program is alive,
and well I've got all these great private coaching clients.

(01:39:32):
Take you through and we get through this together. That's
why I'm want to live in that rare fighted air.
All right, see you the next time. On My wife
joined a cult,

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