August 11, 2024 • 47 mins
In this episode, we explore the unsettling realities of cult dynamics and the manipulative tactics used by their leaders. Our host shares harrowing text messages and personal stories, shedding light on how a charismatic figure can exert control over individuals and families. We examine the psychological and emotional toll on those ensnared in such environments, the dangerous normalization of toxic behaviors, and the heartbreaking consequences on relationships and mental health. This episode is a compelling exposé on the dark underbelly of cults, urging listeners to recognize and resist manipulative influences.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
I'm going to start off with some letters of concern,
and I read these. I've sent them to notice. Through
the years, people started noticing she was not herself. And again,
(00:28):
I'm not sure what the diagnosis is. It's not up
to me to do that. I can only talk about
the actions. And I would hope she'd go to an
expert who could offer her some suggestions on getting well.
I've offered that a number of times rehabilitation. She agreed
to go to the kids when that I call her Lyesol.
(00:50):
When Lysol came by, she actually made a commitment. Kids
have brought it up in therapy before. What a disappointment
it is. She lies to the children. It's just I
don't understand this person of great character could take this,
this veer off into just she's just following this cult leader.
(01:14):
It was a liar, just a pathological liar. Just here's
what it looks like, and here's what my life is.
Here's a here's a quote from the from broke. So
they went away to this, they went away to this
Australia trip and none of the money comes from anything
(01:37):
that they're making. They actually steal money from me metaverse
or whatever. It's called no the hyperverse. There's another investment.
She lied to me and told me that Brooke wasn't involved,
and Brooke was at the top of it, you know,
so they written me off of that. I never saw
the paperwork. Just so many things just stealing and except
(01:59):
for to do that is just it's just unfathomable. I
can't say the word unfathomable if I say it's slow.
So here's broke. Just this is just what she does.
She just unloads this diarrhea that comes out of her
(02:22):
thinking that other people are interested. She hardly has any followers,
by the way. Unfortunately, hey, this guy, his wife followed
this whole thing. They got divorced, and other people have
had difficulties in their marriages because this is what she
encourages to follow her in places like this, They go
(02:43):
away to this which was also paid for by her husband.
And this was paid for by this hard working husband.
Why is that so demeaned and why is that not
honored that we honor these commitments of supplying them for
the family, And why can't you be honorable in return
(03:04):
and talk about business plans and discuss it's a partnership.
It's only a partnership though on their terms and legally.
I remember talking to my lawyers, so you sound like
a misogynist. I was trying to say to them, hey, man,
this doesn't seem right at all. She can just do
whatever she wants and did. I went to Australia by
(03:27):
my full support. I had no idea would end up
like this. So with Broke making these Instagram posts and
when I left my twenty year relationship, she does a
lot of capitals. I'll tell you each capital ten months
ago because she has to capitalize to emphasize to me
whistling in the dark. She doesn't really believe these things.
She has to tell herself to believe these things. I
(03:48):
remember with my former wife before, with the false allegations.
I said to my two older children, I said, well,
the one is the oldest one. I said, do you
really think she believes is when her head hits the pillow?
Does she really believe that I did any of these things?
And he said, I'll never forget he goes she has to.
She's that far deep into it, has brought other people
(04:12):
into it. And I believe it's the same thing with Lotus,
so deep into it, so filled with guilt and shame,
even guilt and shame going back to broke if she's
ever gonna work something out, if she was to work
something out with me, then the broke would disown her
because she had to follow this woman who says, when
I left my tony relationship ten months ago, I was
(04:34):
done capital, done with partnership. I truly wanted nothing more
than to explore or have my autonomy, have lots of
fun sex for the first time. Ever, How do you
think how do you think her husband feels about that?
Her ex husband now ever, she's never had good sex
in her entire life. Why'd you get married? Why'd you
have children? What were you telling him? What kind of
(04:56):
rules were you into? What kind of lies were you telling?
And that's what happened with Lotus. With me like my
own effing decisions to be a sovereign woman, calling my
own shots. Four exclamation points, and I did exclamation point
and capitalize. I had my first ever all caps one
night stand in Australia at forty eight years old. Oh
(05:18):
my god, it was revolutionary for me and so capital,
so capital fun exclamation point. Snuck out of the hotel
room at six am with my cloths in hand. Misspelled that.
Let me just tell you something. This phony is an idiot.
By the way, it's not the only misspelling. She's an idiot,
(05:39):
but she comes across as smart. I just watched a
video of her. Yeah, I do my research, stupid and
has comes up with these clever words that that's what
they do, that's what these wellness grifters do. They come
up with some buzzwords. She says, I saw in the
(06:02):
movies and with jumping up and down like a schoolgirl.
So proud of my courage and ability to finally all
capitals play five exclamation points and some emojis, proud, proud
that she couldn't try to work harder on her relationship,
(06:23):
which she brought two children into the world. Do it
for them. Try so it's not about you, folks, It's
not about selfish once you bring the children in yet
be selfish all you want if the children are involved,
But they are. And what Lotus did and what this
woman did is generational trauma. You're causing. It's a patterning
(06:46):
that the kids will now not think that it's important
to commit to a relationship, not think that it's important
to work harder and really do everything you can do,
rather than just this diarrhea diatribes that she does to
justify her actions, giving myself effing permission. She just throws,
(07:08):
you know, pretty mission to follow. I'm not saying the words.
I'm trying to be a little clean here, follow my bliss,
all capitals, no one else's rules to adhered to. Do
you really, I know her husband there are no rules.
That's a lie. Tell yourself these lies and what the
bally ended up meeting in Italian who barely spoke English.
(07:29):
It just goes on and on for her kids to read,
for their peers to read and embarrass them. Doesn't matter
to people are selfish. Same with my ex doesn't care.
She does these how she copies, broken, does these posts
(07:50):
whistling in the dark. She knows when her head hits
the pillow. As I said to my oldest son, when
it's about his mom. She has to believe it now
because she so far in and my hope was I
don't know if it still is that someone intervenes and says, hey,
shakes her and just goes stop. Go back to your
(08:13):
spiritual practice. This is not spiritual practice. She's in yoga.
Of course, she's in yoga. She does breath work, she
does tapping, she does all this stuff that sounds like,
come on, goddesses, I don't call these other goddesses and
these women's groups and stuff like that. Why I want
to ask anyone that goes to these groups, what purpose
are you serving? Are you serving the purpose of a whole,
(08:35):
of a family, of all those things you committed to
bring these people into sign a soul contract? Is that
the purpose? Or are you just after your selfish needs
and those selfish needs have to do with your slide
sheet and steel doesn't matter, no values, no ethics. Are
ethics important anymore? Are they important to anyone? I'm not
(08:59):
saying I'm the most ethical guy in the world, the
most moral guy in the world, but I'm I work
at it really strong. If I get in a position,
I end up apologizing or backing up, or being accountable
or being responsible. It doesn't exist with these ego maniacs.
Doesn't exist. They can't admit the wrong. And those two
or two of them. I remember one time she actually
(09:23):
followed my path because I make a lot of amends.
It's part of my life, the surrendering and the ego
and all that kind of stuff. File for divorce from
my ego one of the best things I ever did
in my life. I imagine myself signing these papers. This
guy did an intervention on me, another courageous guy who
called me, and I answered the phone, and I just
(09:43):
knew for some reason, I knew that he wasn't going
to praise me, which he had before. And he said,
what's with your ego? And I just gulped. And he
said other people say, and I gulped again, and that
some vision, some voice said to just file for divorce
from your ego. Just let go and surrender is the
(10:08):
greatest victory I've had. It happen so many times. Every
time I do this surrendering, I feel amazing. And I
this broke is talking about pride on acting selfishly, pride
on cheating, pride on not honoring commitments. Pride, that's what
she says. I'm proud of myself. I took care of myself.
(10:30):
There are other ways to take care of yourself and
still be honorable. She doesn't know what it means, she
just justifies it all the way. No character, these are
people of bad character. I acid turn no bad character,
just bad character. I ask her all the time. I yes,
I have long emails. That's I'm guilty of that, guilty
(10:53):
of long text messages. I just think someday that some
Jesus is gonna go WHOA says a lot. I have
been conned, I have been frauded, and I must go
back to myself. I don't want her to return to
the marriage. It's done, it's broken, it's gone. I could
(11:13):
never trust her ever again. I do want her to
have respect for me and show that to the children.
I do want her to apologize so that the children
see that. I want them to see an example. One
time we were going to I was. I had This
(11:34):
is when we're pretty much new into the thing, separation,
divorce a couple of years ago, and I were I
had a plan to go to Maui with the kids,
and she had already had her time with them. It
was Christmas break. She had our two young kids, and
now is my turn. She happened to be in Maui
(11:58):
and on the way over, I will admit I was
in first class and the kids were in coach. I'm
going to admit that right now, I'm a jerk. I
travel a lot long legs over six to two. I
got to have the leg room, all right. So the
kids have tiny legs, they don't care. I went back
(12:19):
and fed them some of my first class food. But
on the way to Hawaii to Maui, I had arranged
to stay at this incredible resort, like a high, high
end resort, right on the water in Way Maya, and
I just thought of this. The sad thing was it
(12:40):
was blocks away from where I was married to Lotus,
this beautiful wedding on the beach, barefoot in white with Lais,
with my friend Kelly doing the honor of our vows
which we wrote, and I cry, and in retrospect, she
(13:02):
didn't crime. Maybe she was fool of me, though die,
I don't know. It just seemed like a beautiful wedding,
a union. Some of her family was there, some weren't.
I could get into a whole other thing what happened
with the family and my theories, but I'll try not to.
(13:23):
And it really was beautiful and just so here here
I am just a few blocks away at this resort
with the children. But on the way, a voice came
inside of me. Because I do have many methods and
just pathways I've taken and directions, and I take direction
(13:44):
and I listen to some and don't listen to others,
and I go away from my ethereal self and divine
self and go into ego and all of that that
comes up, anger, resentment, pissed off. I just it just
goes everywhere. I've said before. I'm stuck between Namas Day
and kissed my ass. That's where I live, Philly in California.
(14:08):
So this is blend, embrace you and mace you and
huh let you. So on the way over, you know,
I do pray, meditate, listen, conscious, all of that I do.
I'm in a mindful thought, mindfulness group on every Sunday.
(14:28):
That was actually the leader of that group is the
one who did my intervention on Hey and I filed
for divorce. He didn't mention that, but I said, I'm
going to do that. That was a voice. And then
this voice happened on my way over. I'm sitting there.
I turned this met and my neighbor, and I said,
can I borrow a pen? I pulled out paper, blank paper,
(14:51):
and I said God, I call God, and I've called
big G. That's kind of what I say, big G.
It's my thing it could be christ consciousness, whatever it is,
it's just this beautiful, abundant, powerful, way powerful than me,
way powerful in my mind. It's this essence energy, genuine
energy flow. I also call it. It just flows through
(15:14):
me when I get out of the way, when I
surrender the ego. And I said, just guide my pen.
That's it. Just get out of the way, Just guide
my pen. And what happened? Does a flow happen? Not
one single zinger. Now, she's obviously I've already gave you
(15:36):
the list, and there's more. She's obviously done some wrong
things what you would call right and wrong, wrong things,
some bad things, some hurtful things, some painful things for
the children from me, obviously. But that wasn't this chance
to just keep on doubling down on that. She's not
listening to that anyway. But what am I going to
(15:56):
do to talk about how I'm one hundred percent responsible
for this resentment that I have one hundred percent responsible.
I r I'm the one holding on to it. She
can just she'll just keep doing what she does. She
probably doesn't even have any feelings. She's lost her feelings.
I mean, it's just maybe she never had them. I
don't know the answer to that, but I have feelings,
(16:18):
and I don't want those feelings to get in the way.
I don't want the children to see that she doesn't
hold the key to my prison, just like the guy
that kidnapped me when I was thirteen. Painful experience, but
I'm not going to hold onto it, which I did
and led to some pretty bad times, including death, tempted suicide.
(16:42):
I remember I tried to commit suicide. Had neckties and
I tied them around. I'd just come back from this
horrible five days, took me away and wouldn't let me
out of this ghetto hotel room, this serial pedophile acting
like a father figure. I'm thinking to myself out loud
(17:04):
right now, jeez, I have a lot of betrayal all
my life. This guy the ultimate and betrayal. And I
remember being in that hotel room with this It just
smelled like you're in this horrible steam radiator. I was
on the floor trying to get away from him, and
(17:27):
I came back. My mom said, don't ever talk about it.
So I held on to that secret. And you're only
as sick as your secrets. And that's something that Lotus has.
She actually told me where she's from Japan. Secrecy is
a virtue, I assure you, if you can listen to
me and take my suggestion or my advice or whatever
(17:48):
you want to call it. Secrecy is the opposite of
a virtue. It's toxic. You're building toxins not only for you,
but for everyone around you. It's contagious. So I held
on to the secret. At my mom said, don't tell anyone,
and that was that was a that was not a
good thing for me. I try to commit suicide, had
(18:09):
to a neck These neckties had a noose and I
was dangling, choking, and my mom comes in. This is
kind of symbolic of my life. She comes into, Oh
my god, what are you doing? Those are new neck ties?
Get up? And I just got up because I was
just kneeling. Basically, I think part of me wanted attention,
part of me wanted to die. Part of me wanted
(18:30):
to die so other people would regret it. I could
go to my own funeral, hide behind a tree. See
what they say about regretting and treating me in the
way they did. So, Yeah, these themes keep popping up,
But the guy doesn't hold the key to my prison.
He's not my warden. That guy I completely forget. His
(18:51):
name's Ben Rauscher. I completely forgive him for what he did.
I am free, and I mean literally, there's no I
have no issue talking about it. I share it also.
I share, just like this podcast. I share so other
people have hope and other people have an understanding. You're
not alone. If you're dealing with someone with who's treating
(19:13):
you poorly or you don't understand their behavior, they becomes
very puzzling and all that. I am here to let
you know you're not alone. And the head is a
bad neighborhood. Don't go in alone. I'm here for you.
There's a lot of people outre the support groups and
things like that. We're not victims either, but I would
(19:34):
be a victim if I stayed in that space of
oh my god, he's destroyed my life and I'm going
to continue drinking and using and all that kind of stuff,
which I stopped. Crimes. Oh my god, I committed so
many crimes. Sometimes I think that's what's going on here.
Any difficulties I have. My sister doesn't speak to me
in years. I mean, whatever these cases are, Oh, maybe
(19:55):
it's my karma. I question this, but I also live
this life of accountability, and that's what happened. I wrote
this letter. I said, go ahead, big G, just guide
the pen. And what unfolded so naturally was a complete
maa kopa a mission apology regrets. It just came out
(20:20):
of me with zero zingers. I did this because that
was her thing that annoyed me. By the way, whatever
the situation was, she could not apologize, and she'd always
have an excuse for the behavior. Just recently, when she
lied to the kids about going Japan because she was
going with her cult leader and didn't tell them that
(20:41):
she lied to them, she said, Oh, it's because of
your dad. I didn't want to cause any problems. So
I'm like, the chaos or whatever you're calling it, it's
caused by you lying. That's what she doesn't understand. The
root of it is her lying, what she does constantly.
The kids don't trust her anymore. I don't trust her anymore.
She made that script lies like as easily as breathe
(21:07):
so but this did not include that. This letter did
not include that at all. It was none of that.
It was my lies that I told. Everything in that
letter was all had to do with what I did
to bring this forth, all the mistakes I made, the
line cheating, stealing that I did, That's what the letter contained.
(21:32):
It was such a it was truly a surrender, which
felt victorious. And at that moment, when I finished twenty
two pages handwritten, single space just flew out of me
of basically lettering her off the hook too, like you've
done nothing wrong, and I meant it, you've done nothing wrong,
(21:58):
even though she had done the those things which I
will get to even more, believe it or not, There's more.
This cult leader has taken her down a road of
debauchery and dishonesty. Let me get back to the other.
So obviously I'm not completely clean from the letter, because
some of this is still there, this frustration, this upset, pain, sadness,
(22:25):
it's all there, cornicopia feelings, and they've vacillated to go
back and forth. I'm free, I'm not free in prisoned.
But this was truly that was a bust out of
prison because at the time I was going, what the
hell happened? When the world happened? How did this happen?
How did this great family suddenly break up? And so
(22:52):
I landed checked in the hotel. She was with her
sister at the time. She happened to be in Maui
at the same time, and I texted her. I said,
there'll be a letter waiting for you at the front
desk of our hotel. If you're into it, we'll be
at the pool. If you're not, then I let go
(23:13):
read the pool. I get a text from her. She's
on halfway through the first page. I'm already crying. It
hit her hard. It might have hit her ego too,
because it really was about complimenting her and praising her
and letting her know she did nothing wrong, and saying
how beautiful she is and how how I think that
(23:34):
she's amazing, and all that stuff was in there and
I meant it, and love was in this whole letter
is a love letter as well. I wasn't saying you
need to get back together anything like that. That's not
ever the goal. The goal is I want peace between us.
I want the children have an example of how a
couple should what she called conscious and couple conscious on whatever,
(23:56):
though another term that was BS. But at this time
she then it took her like a long time to
read these twenty two pages. She comes to we get together,
embrace crying. I was crying because it really did feel
like this release. The kids witnessed it. It was beautiful,
(24:20):
and we spent the rest of the time together, went
to dinners too, We played charades, her sister visited with
her boyfriend. It was amazing, just the activities, beach, frisbee playing,
all that stuff. We just ended up together doing this
on this Malley break, this Malley vacation. I mean, not
(24:42):
the entire time together, but we were together and the kids.
Our son said it was the greatest day of his life.
And Broke talks about being pride, prideful, proud and all
(25:04):
this stuff. It's all selfish that she's proud of. I
was proud of this connection with this higher source that
allowed me to get out of my ego and write
this note, that leveled the playing field, that brought us
into peace and serenity and love, divine love. Not in love,
(25:24):
not needing sex, not wanting to be back together, but
just love. That's where we're coming from. That's the game playing,
that's the laughter, that's all the joy. That's what love is.
And we had it. It lasted the entire time. It
lasted when we came back. We went back to because
what we went back to a godbey place where we met.
(25:47):
There were people that we knew from the past, embracing
Hey went and helped her find a picture, you know,
helped her with a bed, you know, getting a bed
in a truck, and blah blah blah, all that kind
of stuff. I mean, yeah, game nights. I would have
her over for game nights. This is what I want
the children to see. This is what I want them
to see, is we brought you on this planet because
(26:08):
we love one another. We don't need to be in love,
but we love one another. And then it started again.
She went right back to hate. When I look at
her eyes so detached, and I said before, it just
it feels demonic. It feels like a demonic possession. I
(26:29):
can't attribute to anything else. But if you could see this,
this and she puts on this phony image like oh
I'm so happy and free, and I tap and I breathe,
and I teach breath work and all this stuff hateful.
So she had already I told you, she already had
me arrested for false charges. She was the one who
(26:50):
was violent charged me, scratched me, pulled my clothes off
the whole deal, not off, but stretched them and everything else.
And I was the one who was arrested. I'm the
big white guy, and that's just the way the society is.
We're all gonna look at the big guy. As of course.
I have a big mouth. Became popular, kind of semi
(27:11):
famous comedian. One time I was more famous than others. Whatever,
I'm gonna be the guy, the asshole. I'm gonna be
the guy who's definitely the abuser all those things. That's
what I'm gonna be. And by the way, in this
Amend's letter, I did get to the parts where it's
abusive or it's a domineering or controlling or whatever it is.
Owned it own in that stuff. Understanding that we're not perfect,
(27:41):
but we are perfect. We are we are a whole,
We are perfect, and we don't need a guru to
fill in those holes that aren't even there. We don't
need someone else to verify who we are, influence who
(28:03):
we are. This woman broke as an influencer, plain and simple.
She's influenced other people to follow her and make a mob.
She talks about feminine, you know, being a feminist and
so forth, so there was that freedom that we had
(28:24):
for a few weeks. And then she started and I
asked her for something when she came over. She can't
face me when we're dropping off the kids. She stays
in the car and it's just so passive aggressive, and
I'm like hey, And I literally walked up to her
and she told me when she had me arrested, she
regretted it. I'm so sorry, you know, in her own way,
(28:47):
claiming that she, oh, I did it by accident. I
didn't have another choice because they would have arrested me
or whatever it was. She'd makes this big story up.
She doesn't tell the truth, that she lied, and I
held her phone up. I said, I'll tell you that.
If you tell me the truth, I'll gay in the
phone back. And instead of she went into a complete rage,
a rage spiral that you've an animal. She became an
(29:10):
animal attacking. But they're gonna believe her, of course. So
it was horribly painful to have that happen. A man
of integrity being arrested and sitting on a slab, and
(29:31):
it's just so humiliating. This is bright leg It can't sleep.
I had COVID all night. It was just awful. They
have this literally like a scummy phone. You have to
make a call, call the bail bondsman. That cost me
twenty thousand dollars to get out of there. She just
costs me so much money, and she doesn't care. She's unconscious.
(29:51):
It's my hard work. And I don't come from anything.
I never inherited a dime, literally, not a dime, only
dead and yet and I am proud by the way
of that that all the children get the benefit from
those things, from the sacrifices going on the road when
I want to be on the road and leave my
family and all that. So she comes over and I said,
(30:16):
i'd literally at peace signs flashing peace on say peace,
Let's go to the Malle Vibe. I kept saying, let's
go to the Mallee Vibe, thinking I could bring her
out of this reach opposite, she pulls out her phone.
I'm going to send this to the police. I'm calling
the police. I'm calling the police, and she starts videoing
(30:38):
me with peace signs. Well, there goes your regret of
calling the police. She's now going to call the police
with me flashing peace signs. But what she sees, I
think is a big giant guy coming at her. She
doesn't see peace. She thinks, oh my god, this guy's
threatening me. I believe that must be what it is,
(31:00):
because she disassociates and turns into this person. I'm going
to please what. I finally walked away, and I do
get intense, you know, when she does these walk away
things and run away things, scratching her ears, whatever she does,
it's unbelieva. When I keep going, I'll go please stop,
please stop, and I turned into this you know guy,
please please please please please come back. Stop stop. I'm here.
(31:26):
It's okay now. I don't think she ever ever wants
and it happened dozens and dozens of times. Or she
does the runaway thing and completely leaves her body traumatized.
She calls them trauma responses, but never has dealt with
the trauma response, never dealt with where it came from,
(31:47):
never dealt with healing. You know, she's been to some
frauds and stuff like that. She literally told me, oh,
they diagnosed me and said, I'm not a narcissist. I
don't need any help. That's what she said, don't need
any help, but you're gonna do these actions. She I
did a video of the kids, film me in the
front seat driving talking about solutions. She takes that video
(32:16):
and sends it to their therapist, compromising their therapy. Are
both our children. Sends it to the therapist to have
me reported for child endangerment because I was talking and driving.
I wasn't I didn't have a phone. This is how
far she goes. And it happened by like here we
go child services. So I'm arrested now police, all this
(32:38):
child service. It's crazy time. This is due to being
in a cult. Normal people don't behave in this way.
And it's one after another. When I get knocks on doors,
I'm assuming the worst. I'm assuming something's going to happen.
It happened before with the wife before that police and
(33:01):
just gives kids a PTSD to this day, growing up
like that, and I'll do anything not to have that
happen again to these two and so far the other
ones were young and impressionable, and they really bought into
that venom that would come from their mother and the
resentment and the hatred that came at me, and they
(33:22):
were affected by it. My responses, they're also affected by it.
Say please write a letter tell the chorts what the
truth is. So now they're caught in the middle. There's
a caught in the middle thing that drives me crazy.
Of course they're caught in the middle, but they're caught
in the middle by first it happens. It starts with
the anger and rage being put upon dad. That's where
(33:45):
it starts. That's in the middle. You're now there now
in the middle of toxicity and pain and anger and
angst and anxiety and cutting off and violence. They're in
the middle of that. My response and having them tell
the truth is not putting them in the middle. It's
trying my best to get truth be told. That's what
(34:08):
I was talking about when I was driving. I was trying.
This is just really frustrating to be on the other
side of that. I don't want to be a victim.
I just want to be in a truthful space and
have her get to the truth, have the children understand
the truth is the most important thing. Honesty, integrity, honoring
your word, commitments, vows, all those things are really important.
(34:31):
And especially if she's going to be a coach. That's
what this wellness grifter community does. They all become coaches.
I don't know what the hell they're what the hell
they're coaching? Because she has nothing to share. She never
made any money, hasn't had any progress. There's no failed marriage.
She bailed on. The marriage didn't work on. It didn't
go to the right people you know, to make it work.
(34:55):
It's all failure. So what are you coaching? So my
tip is I've been advised to make tips. Uncover as
much as you can unearth, and look below the surface
of what they're telling you. Anyone, peel it back, look
(35:20):
at them, feel their energy. If they're running, they're hiding,
and they're hiding something. And many many things were hidden
from me, many many, many things, too many to count,
(35:41):
she started at the end. Another blow was, I don't know,
I don't know how it happened, but she's so secretive.
But somehow I got her cell phone and she let
me read this text exchange. I don't know how it
happened that she let me, or she sort of, and
then she dove for the phone once she saw that
(36:02):
what I was reading from this this father, this local father,
we'll call him MINEO. So he is the ex husband
of one of her best friends, who hates me, who
believed all of the abuse. She believed it all. Wouldn't
talk to me at school things, and I used to
(36:23):
say to when we're married, I go, she's so mean
to me. I don't think the kids should see that either.
She's copped this resentment. We'll call her Ginny Ginny mean face.
Oh my god, it's like this disdain. You know, she's
(36:44):
believing that she's protecting her friend and she should get
out and all that kind of stuff. And I guess
I would do the same thing if I assumed that
what she was telling or was true. There I'm the abuser,
so you got to get out anyway. She has an
exchange with this guy, the ex husband of Ginny, and
(37:06):
he's calling her babe, and I'll protect you, get you
away from him. How's it going with him? Did you
get out yet? This is horrible. I'm reading this stumba.
Who's he talking about? It's because that's what she presented
to him. Please save me, just like I saved her.
She lived in a treehouse with no running water or whatever.
(37:28):
I guess I saved her too. So she goes to
someone else, plays the victim. He plays the conquering hero,
and he's calling her babe. What's this, I said to her,
and she dove for the phone. Who Once I started reading,
I said, what's this? He's calling you, babe and say
(37:52):
he's going to get you a house, a protective house,
a safe house. What's that? And I know one? He said,
you know? And it was another gut punch. This guy,
I means. I played with him, I've done paintball with him,
and our kids play. They we all met in baby
(38:15):
class fourteen years ago. So she has a group of
those moms. They all hang out together, and I big
fan of all of them until they turned to protect
their friend. I get it. I guess they're just protecting
their friend because they believe what it's that this is
all true. You think that they would ever say, oh
my god, this beautiful Lotus is a liar, a pathological liar.
(38:37):
There's no shot that they're going to believe that he
is a problem in our societies. We don't want to believe,
so then we don't go into the denial and push
this away and then blame and go after the person
and all that. This guy went after me acting like
I was these things, and he found her a safe house.
So two different times she moved into a safe house
(39:00):
to get away, and it was like costly these airbnbs.
I didn't know where she was and didn't know where
the house was, and then she popped back to the
house and again, and I'll tell you one more thing
now I'm gonna save it. Remind me to tell you
(39:23):
when the big blow happened. I reached out to that guy.
By the way, since then, I reached out to Genie
and I said, hey, you know, you might want to
talk to her. You know, this is when it first started.
And there they'll just blame me because I never liked
you and all this kind of stuff, this pretty nasty stuff.
I don't know why, you know what I ever did.
And you know again, people think I have a big
(39:45):
ego and the big big guy and all that kind
of stuff and whatever. They make assumptions. They don't know
that I'm really giving, really loving, really supportive, and that's
been my whole life, that's what I do. They don't
know that. They get an interpretation from someone else that
they believe and then work from that assumption. So the
(40:09):
tip is, don't work with assumptions. Uncover as much as
you possibly can, don't put your belief in people. That's
what she did. She believed in this guru type. So
I'm going to get to the other story, but I
am going to read you a few notes before I
(40:32):
end this. These are unsolicited notes that I got from
people in private message on Facebook. It's about thirty of them,
all issuing concern they still do this is. This has
been going on for a couple of years now, you know,
questioning what she's doing. Is she making any money with this?
She does, these dances and all these all these you know,
(40:55):
just copies. She literally copies this woman. It's kind of
it's just sick. She copies her exact cadences and pauses
and capitalizations and all that. She just copies her. And
I would love you someday if you do find out
who this is, just go look for yourself. This one
guy says, a living hell you're experiencing from Lotus's descent
(41:18):
into feminazi cult. She got herself sucked into. Unfortunately, there
is little you can do that will cause her to
snap out of it. It is sad. She's firmly in
the clutches of this broke nutbag. Was obviously tapped into
something going on inside of Lotus that made her a
prime target for this sort of spiritual scam. I don't
(41:39):
know what you are being accused of, but I do
know that this woman is a full blown narcissist just
by scrolling down her Facebook page a bit nothing but
picks of herself, clearly intended to convince other women out
happy she is since abandoning her family. I recall when
I first became at Facebook Friends with Lotus that most
of her posts were a lot like this too. I
(42:01):
didn't judge it at the time, but they seem to
have a kind of a hard sell. For whatever it was,
Lotus was trying to market, exploiting her own innate health
and beauty to attract potential customers. At least that was
the impression I got. So now I know where all
that is coming from, and it's extremely saddening to learn
that it may well mean the end of your marriage. Yes,
(42:23):
it did ask her what to do about that. Well,
no amount of posting on brokes Facebook page is going
to make a dent, and such a person has obviously
gone over the rail. She's a cult leader and just
like he said this not me, by the way, He's
just like trumpists. A lot of people believe people are
in the cult of Trump. She sees a completely different
(42:45):
reality than the rest of us. I got sucked in
a fundamentalist thing at thirteen, another cold, huge one. They
prey upon young people's parents aren't giving them the love
they crave, and da da da dah. It talks all
about that himself and this thing. He's right. I think
you have to look at your situation like this. Lotus
has been brainwashed by a cult, and you won't be
(43:07):
able to talk the cult leader into releasing her so
long as the cult has something from Lotus it strongly desires.
And that is the case. She's in the down line,
she's controlled. She uplifts and makes posts about this narcissist leader.
That's what she gets out of it. She gets the money.
She gets money from the scamming that Lotus has done. Ugh,
(43:33):
that may just be her devotion, but in wealth generation
scams and that's in quotes, it's mostly cash. This is
Broke's achilles heel. And in my humble opinion, you should
immediately cut Lotus off from any source of your income
that she would use to continue paying tribute to this nutbag.
If Broke doesn't turn her away, from that, then it's
(43:55):
about Lotus's devotion to her Guru, and that's much harder break.
Many relationships are based on codependence. Normally I stay out
of such conflicts, but I wanted to share my thoughts
with you as well as my support. Always remember that
your life is not about your marriage, nor your kids,
nor your career. It's simply about the experiences you are
having as you and the rest of us meander through
(44:18):
the duality illusion, within countless levels of pretending that we
are not God. This is why human life is so imperfect,
because we provide the pretense of imperfection that God requires
in order to understand God's infinite and timeless perfection of being,
where the yin to God's yang, providing the required balance
of the existence equation. So whatever suffering you find yourself
(44:41):
experiencing the life, embrace it fully, because to do otherwise
is to deny the only moment that ever exists, and
that only prolongs the suffering. As they say in twelve
step programs, grant yourself the serendy to accept the things
you cannot change, the courage to change the key what
you can, in the wisdom to know the difference. Gray
we both know the you're on a spiritual path of
realization of your gods self within. We are now experiencing
(45:05):
just another challenge to your soul for you to rise
above as you awaken to the next greater version of
the greatest vision you have ever had about yourself. On
higher level, yours and Lotus's souls are in agreement over
what is now taking place. It is our egos which
reject the eternal now. Whenever experience is negative, meditate on
(45:27):
Lotus's soul as long as you own your family, families,
and remember that we are all one pretending we are many.
God bless you, my friend. I can't do much better
than that. Other people talk about she's brainwashed. I can't
stand a woman with the point he knows. Someone else
(45:50):
says that Broke can be sued about making claims of
helping women with trauma. She's not qualified or certified. These
are all the letters that I receive. I noticed that
Lotus's posts are getting straight and stranger, like it wasn't
like her at all. I totally believe this woman is
completely manipulated. These are all different people. Other people say
(46:12):
I should report Broke to the FBI anyway, a lot
of people reached out. You lost your marriage to a
con artist. It's pretty sad. I don't know. I don't know.
(46:32):
Maybe she's a bigger con artists than broke his I
don't know. I just know that she has no conscience left.
I know I've tried and tried and tried to speak
to her. I know I've tried and tried to bring
people out, pay for anything for rehabilitation, which she promised
the kids that she would do. Another broken promise, broken promise,
(46:53):
broken promise. It doesn't matter to her hearing this, she
ever heard this, it wouldn't matter to her connects to
her heart anymore. Nothing, And that's just sad. Warning is there, folks, unpeel, unpack.
If somebody's pitching you something, look further. We're gonna look
(47:18):
further into this on the next episode. I'm trying not
to be too dramatic. I'm trying to laugh things, laugh
about things still, and I'm having a great time in
my life. By the way, let's not feel sorry for
me or the kids. You're having a great time too,
(47:43):
So talk to you a little bit
I'm going to start off with some letters of concern,
and I read these. I've sent them to notice. Through
the years, people started noticing she was not herself. And again,
(00:28):
I'm not sure what the diagnosis is. It's not up
to me to do that. I can only talk about
the actions. And I would hope she'd go to an
expert who could offer her some suggestions on getting well.
I've offered that a number of times rehabilitation. She agreed
to go to the kids when that I call her Lyesol.
(00:50):
When Lysol came by, she actually made a commitment. Kids
have brought it up in therapy before. What a disappointment
it is. She lies to the children. It's just I
don't understand this person of great character could take this,
this veer off into just she's just following this cult leader.
(01:14):
It was a liar, just a pathological liar. Just here's
what it looks like, and here's what my life is.
Here's a here's a quote from the from broke. So
they went away to this, they went away to this
Australia trip and none of the money comes from anything
(01:37):
that they're making. They actually steal money from me metaverse
or whatever. It's called no the hyperverse. There's another investment.
She lied to me and told me that Brooke wasn't involved,
and Brooke was at the top of it, you know,
so they written me off of that. I never saw
the paperwork. Just so many things just stealing and except
(01:59):
for to do that is just it's just unfathomable. I
can't say the word unfathomable if I say it's slow.
So here's broke. Just this is just what she does.
She just unloads this diarrhea that comes out of her
(02:22):
thinking that other people are interested. She hardly has any followers,
by the way. Unfortunately, hey, this guy, his wife followed
this whole thing. They got divorced, and other people have
had difficulties in their marriages because this is what she
encourages to follow her in places like this, They go
(02:43):
away to this which was also paid for by her husband.
And this was paid for by this hard working husband.
Why is that so demeaned and why is that not
honored that we honor these commitments of supplying them for
the family, And why can't you be honorable in return
(03:04):
and talk about business plans and discuss it's a partnership.
It's only a partnership though on their terms and legally.
I remember talking to my lawyers, so you sound like
a misogynist. I was trying to say to them, hey, man,
this doesn't seem right at all. She can just do
whatever she wants and did. I went to Australia by
(03:27):
my full support. I had no idea would end up
like this. So with Broke making these Instagram posts and
when I left my twenty year relationship, she does a
lot of capitals. I'll tell you each capital ten months
ago because she has to capitalize to emphasize to me
whistling in the dark. She doesn't really believe these things.
She has to tell herself to believe these things. I
(03:48):
remember with my former wife before, with the false allegations.
I said to my two older children, I said, well,
the one is the oldest one. I said, do you
really think she believes is when her head hits the pillow?
Does she really believe that I did any of these things?
And he said, I'll never forget he goes she has to.
She's that far deep into it, has brought other people
(04:12):
into it. And I believe it's the same thing with Lotus,
so deep into it, so filled with guilt and shame,
even guilt and shame going back to broke if she's
ever gonna work something out, if she was to work
something out with me, then the broke would disown her
because she had to follow this woman who says, when
I left my tony relationship ten months ago, I was
(04:34):
done capital, done with partnership. I truly wanted nothing more
than to explore or have my autonomy, have lots of
fun sex for the first time. Ever, How do you
think how do you think her husband feels about that?
Her ex husband now ever, she's never had good sex
in her entire life. Why'd you get married? Why'd you
have children? What were you telling him? What kind of
(04:56):
rules were you into? What kind of lies were you telling?
And that's what happened with Lotus. With me like my
own effing decisions to be a sovereign woman, calling my
own shots. Four exclamation points, and I did exclamation point
and capitalize. I had my first ever all caps one
night stand in Australia at forty eight years old. Oh
(05:18):
my god, it was revolutionary for me and so capital,
so capital fun exclamation point. Snuck out of the hotel
room at six am with my cloths in hand. Misspelled that.
Let me just tell you something. This phony is an idiot.
By the way, it's not the only misspelling. She's an idiot,
(05:39):
but she comes across as smart. I just watched a
video of her. Yeah, I do my research, stupid and
has comes up with these clever words that that's what
they do, that's what these wellness grifters do. They come
up with some buzzwords. She says, I saw in the
(06:02):
movies and with jumping up and down like a schoolgirl.
So proud of my courage and ability to finally all
capitals play five exclamation points and some emojis, proud, proud
that she couldn't try to work harder on her relationship,
(06:23):
which she brought two children into the world. Do it
for them. Try so it's not about you, folks, It's
not about selfish once you bring the children in yet
be selfish all you want if the children are involved,
But they are. And what Lotus did and what this
woman did is generational trauma. You're causing. It's a patterning
(06:46):
that the kids will now not think that it's important
to commit to a relationship, not think that it's important
to work harder and really do everything you can do,
rather than just this diarrhea diatribes that she does to
justify her actions, giving myself effing permission. She just throws,
(07:08):
you know, pretty mission to follow. I'm not saying the words.
I'm trying to be a little clean here, follow my bliss,
all capitals, no one else's rules to adhered to. Do
you really, I know her husband there are no rules.
That's a lie. Tell yourself these lies and what the
bally ended up meeting in Italian who barely spoke English.
(07:29):
It just goes on and on for her kids to read,
for their peers to read and embarrass them. Doesn't matter
to people are selfish. Same with my ex doesn't care.
She does these how she copies, broken, does these posts
(07:50):
whistling in the dark. She knows when her head hits
the pillow. As I said to my oldest son, when
it's about his mom. She has to believe it now
because she so far in and my hope was I
don't know if it still is that someone intervenes and says, hey,
shakes her and just goes stop. Go back to your
(08:13):
spiritual practice. This is not spiritual practice. She's in yoga.
Of course, she's in yoga. She does breath work, she
does tapping, she does all this stuff that sounds like,
come on, goddesses, I don't call these other goddesses and
these women's groups and stuff like that. Why I want
to ask anyone that goes to these groups, what purpose
are you serving? Are you serving the purpose of a whole,
(08:35):
of a family, of all those things you committed to
bring these people into sign a soul contract? Is that
the purpose? Or are you just after your selfish needs
and those selfish needs have to do with your slide
sheet and steel doesn't matter, no values, no ethics. Are
ethics important anymore? Are they important to anyone? I'm not
(08:59):
saying I'm the most ethical guy in the world, the
most moral guy in the world, but I'm I work
at it really strong. If I get in a position,
I end up apologizing or backing up, or being accountable
or being responsible. It doesn't exist with these ego maniacs.
Doesn't exist. They can't admit the wrong. And those two
or two of them. I remember one time she actually
(09:23):
followed my path because I make a lot of amends.
It's part of my life, the surrendering and the ego
and all that kind of stuff. File for divorce from
my ego one of the best things I ever did
in my life. I imagine myself signing these papers. This
guy did an intervention on me, another courageous guy who
called me, and I answered the phone, and I just
(09:43):
knew for some reason, I knew that he wasn't going
to praise me, which he had before. And he said,
what's with your ego? And I just gulped. And he
said other people say, and I gulped again, and that
some vision, some voice said to just file for divorce
from your ego. Just let go and surrender is the
(10:08):
greatest victory I've had. It happen so many times. Every
time I do this surrendering, I feel amazing. And I
this broke is talking about pride on acting selfishly, pride
on cheating, pride on not honoring commitments. Pride, that's what
she says. I'm proud of myself. I took care of myself.
(10:30):
There are other ways to take care of yourself and
still be honorable. She doesn't know what it means, she
just justifies it all the way. No character, these are
people of bad character. I acid turn no bad character,
just bad character. I ask her all the time. I yes,
I have long emails. That's I'm guilty of that, guilty
(10:53):
of long text messages. I just think someday that some
Jesus is gonna go WHOA says a lot. I have
been conned, I have been frauded, and I must go
back to myself. I don't want her to return to
the marriage. It's done, it's broken, it's gone. I could
(11:13):
never trust her ever again. I do want her to
have respect for me and show that to the children.
I do want her to apologize so that the children
see that. I want them to see an example. One
time we were going to I was. I had This
(11:34):
is when we're pretty much new into the thing, separation,
divorce a couple of years ago, and I were I
had a plan to go to Maui with the kids,
and she had already had her time with them. It
was Christmas break. She had our two young kids, and
now is my turn. She happened to be in Maui
(11:58):
and on the way over, I will admit I was
in first class and the kids were in coach. I'm
going to admit that right now, I'm a jerk. I
travel a lot long legs over six to two. I
got to have the leg room, all right. So the
kids have tiny legs, they don't care. I went back
(12:19):
and fed them some of my first class food. But
on the way to Hawaii to Maui, I had arranged
to stay at this incredible resort, like a high, high
end resort, right on the water in Way Maya, and
I just thought of this. The sad thing was it
(12:40):
was blocks away from where I was married to Lotus,
this beautiful wedding on the beach, barefoot in white with Lais,
with my friend Kelly doing the honor of our vows
which we wrote, and I cry, and in retrospect, she
(13:02):
didn't crime. Maybe she was fool of me, though die,
I don't know. It just seemed like a beautiful wedding,
a union. Some of her family was there, some weren't.
I could get into a whole other thing what happened
with the family and my theories, but I'll try not to.
(13:23):
And it really was beautiful and just so here here
I am just a few blocks away at this resort
with the children. But on the way, a voice came
inside of me. Because I do have many methods and
just pathways I've taken and directions, and I take direction
(13:44):
and I listen to some and don't listen to others,
and I go away from my ethereal self and divine
self and go into ego and all of that that
comes up, anger, resentment, pissed off. I just it just
goes everywhere. I've said before. I'm stuck between Namas Day
and kissed my ass. That's where I live, Philly in California.
(14:08):
So this is blend, embrace you and mace you and
huh let you. So on the way over, you know,
I do pray, meditate, listen, conscious, all of that I do.
I'm in a mindful thought, mindfulness group on every Sunday.
(14:28):
That was actually the leader of that group is the
one who did my intervention on Hey and I filed
for divorce. He didn't mention that, but I said, I'm
going to do that. That was a voice. And then
this voice happened on my way over. I'm sitting there.
I turned this met and my neighbor, and I said,
can I borrow a pen? I pulled out paper, blank paper,
(14:51):
and I said God, I call God, and I've called
big G. That's kind of what I say, big G.
It's my thing it could be christ consciousness, whatever it is,
it's just this beautiful, abundant, powerful, way powerful than me,
way powerful in my mind. It's this essence energy, genuine
energy flow. I also call it. It just flows through
(15:14):
me when I get out of the way, when I
surrender the ego. And I said, just guide my pen.
That's it. Just get out of the way, Just guide
my pen. And what happened? Does a flow happen? Not
one single zinger. Now, she's obviously I've already gave you
(15:36):
the list, and there's more. She's obviously done some wrong
things what you would call right and wrong, wrong things,
some bad things, some hurtful things, some painful things for
the children from me, obviously. But that wasn't this chance
to just keep on doubling down on that. She's not
listening to that anyway. But what am I going to
(15:56):
do to talk about how I'm one hundred percent responsible
for this resentment that I have one hundred percent responsible.
I r I'm the one holding on to it. She
can just she'll just keep doing what she does. She
probably doesn't even have any feelings. She's lost her feelings.
I mean, it's just maybe she never had them. I
don't know the answer to that, but I have feelings,
(16:18):
and I don't want those feelings to get in the way.
I don't want the children to see that she doesn't
hold the key to my prison, just like the guy
that kidnapped me when I was thirteen. Painful experience, but
I'm not going to hold onto it, which I did
and led to some pretty bad times, including death, tempted suicide.
(16:42):
I remember I tried to commit suicide. Had neckties and
I tied them around. I'd just come back from this
horrible five days, took me away and wouldn't let me
out of this ghetto hotel room, this serial pedophile acting
like a father figure. I'm thinking to myself out loud
(17:04):
right now, jeez, I have a lot of betrayal all
my life. This guy the ultimate and betrayal. And I
remember being in that hotel room with this It just
smelled like you're in this horrible steam radiator. I was
on the floor trying to get away from him, and
(17:27):
I came back. My mom said, don't ever talk about it.
So I held on to that secret. And you're only
as sick as your secrets. And that's something that Lotus has.
She actually told me where she's from Japan. Secrecy is
a virtue, I assure you, if you can listen to
me and take my suggestion or my advice or whatever
(17:48):
you want to call it. Secrecy is the opposite of
a virtue. It's toxic. You're building toxins not only for you,
but for everyone around you. It's contagious. So I held
on to the secret. At my mom said, don't tell anyone,
and that was that was a that was not a
good thing for me. I try to commit suicide, had
(18:09):
to a neck These neckties had a noose and I
was dangling, choking, and my mom comes in. This is
kind of symbolic of my life. She comes into, Oh
my god, what are you doing? Those are new neck ties?
Get up? And I just got up because I was
just kneeling. Basically, I think part of me wanted attention,
part of me wanted to die. Part of me wanted
(18:30):
to die so other people would regret it. I could
go to my own funeral, hide behind a tree. See
what they say about regretting and treating me in the
way they did. So, Yeah, these themes keep popping up,
But the guy doesn't hold the key to my prison.
He's not my warden. That guy I completely forget. His
(18:51):
name's Ben Rauscher. I completely forgive him for what he did.
I am free, and I mean literally, there's no I
have no issue talking about it. I share it also.
I share, just like this podcast. I share so other
people have hope and other people have an understanding. You're
not alone. If you're dealing with someone with who's treating
(19:13):
you poorly or you don't understand their behavior, they becomes
very puzzling and all that. I am here to let
you know you're not alone. And the head is a
bad neighborhood. Don't go in alone. I'm here for you.
There's a lot of people outre the support groups and
things like that. We're not victims either, but I would
(19:34):
be a victim if I stayed in that space of
oh my god, he's destroyed my life and I'm going
to continue drinking and using and all that kind of stuff,
which I stopped. Crimes. Oh my god, I committed so
many crimes. Sometimes I think that's what's going on here.
Any difficulties I have. My sister doesn't speak to me
in years. I mean, whatever these cases are, Oh, maybe
(19:55):
it's my karma. I question this, but I also live
this life of accountability, and that's what happened. I wrote
this letter. I said, go ahead, big G, just guide
the pen. And what unfolded so naturally was a complete
maa kopa a mission apology regrets. It just came out
(20:20):
of me with zero zingers. I did this because that
was her thing that annoyed me. By the way, whatever
the situation was, she could not apologize, and she'd always
have an excuse for the behavior. Just recently, when she
lied to the kids about going Japan because she was
going with her cult leader and didn't tell them that
(20:41):
she lied to them, she said, Oh, it's because of
your dad. I didn't want to cause any problems. So
I'm like, the chaos or whatever you're calling it, it's
caused by you lying. That's what she doesn't understand. The
root of it is her lying, what she does constantly.
The kids don't trust her anymore. I don't trust her anymore.
She made that script lies like as easily as breathe
(21:07):
so but this did not include that. This letter did
not include that at all. It was none of that.
It was my lies that I told. Everything in that
letter was all had to do with what I did
to bring this forth, all the mistakes I made, the
line cheating, stealing that I did, That's what the letter contained.
(21:32):
It was such a it was truly a surrender, which
felt victorious. And at that moment, when I finished twenty
two pages handwritten, single space just flew out of me
of basically lettering her off the hook too, like you've
done nothing wrong, and I meant it, you've done nothing wrong,
(21:58):
even though she had done the those things which I
will get to even more, believe it or not, There's more.
This cult leader has taken her down a road of
debauchery and dishonesty. Let me get back to the other.
So obviously I'm not completely clean from the letter, because
some of this is still there, this frustration, this upset, pain, sadness,
(22:25):
it's all there, cornicopia feelings, and they've vacillated to go
back and forth. I'm free, I'm not free in prisoned.
But this was truly that was a bust out of
prison because at the time I was going, what the
hell happened? When the world happened? How did this happen?
How did this great family suddenly break up? And so
(22:52):
I landed checked in the hotel. She was with her
sister at the time. She happened to be in Maui
at the same time, and I texted her. I said,
there'll be a letter waiting for you at the front
desk of our hotel. If you're into it, we'll be
at the pool. If you're not, then I let go
(23:13):
read the pool. I get a text from her. She's
on halfway through the first page. I'm already crying. It
hit her hard. It might have hit her ego too,
because it really was about complimenting her and praising her
and letting her know she did nothing wrong, and saying
how beautiful she is and how how I think that
(23:34):
she's amazing, and all that stuff was in there and
I meant it, and love was in this whole letter
is a love letter as well. I wasn't saying you
need to get back together anything like that. That's not
ever the goal. The goal is I want peace between us.
I want the children have an example of how a
couple should what she called conscious and couple conscious on whatever,
(23:56):
though another term that was BS. But at this time
she then it took her like a long time to
read these twenty two pages. She comes to we get together,
embrace crying. I was crying because it really did feel
like this release. The kids witnessed it. It was beautiful,
(24:20):
and we spent the rest of the time together, went
to dinners too, We played charades, her sister visited with
her boyfriend. It was amazing, just the activities, beach, frisbee playing,
all that stuff. We just ended up together doing this
on this Malley break, this Malley vacation. I mean, not
(24:42):
the entire time together, but we were together and the kids.
Our son said it was the greatest day of his life.
And Broke talks about being pride, prideful, proud and all
(25:04):
this stuff. It's all selfish that she's proud of. I
was proud of this connection with this higher source that
allowed me to get out of my ego and write
this note, that leveled the playing field, that brought us
into peace and serenity and love, divine love. Not in love,
(25:24):
not needing sex, not wanting to be back together, but
just love. That's where we're coming from. That's the game playing,
that's the laughter, that's all the joy. That's what love is.
And we had it. It lasted the entire time. It
lasted when we came back. We went back to because
what we went back to a godbey place where we met.
(25:47):
There were people that we knew from the past, embracing
Hey went and helped her find a picture, you know,
helped her with a bed, you know, getting a bed
in a truck, and blah blah blah, all that kind
of stuff. I mean, yeah, game nights. I would have
her over for game nights. This is what I want
the children to see. This is what I want them
to see, is we brought you on this planet because
(26:08):
we love one another. We don't need to be in love,
but we love one another. And then it started again.
She went right back to hate. When I look at
her eyes so detached, and I said before, it just
it feels demonic. It feels like a demonic possession. I
(26:29):
can't attribute to anything else. But if you could see this,
this and she puts on this phony image like oh
I'm so happy and free, and I tap and I breathe,
and I teach breath work and all this stuff hateful.
So she had already I told you, she already had
me arrested for false charges. She was the one who
(26:50):
was violent charged me, scratched me, pulled my clothes off
the whole deal, not off, but stretched them and everything else.
And I was the one who was arrested. I'm the
big white guy, and that's just the way the society is.
We're all gonna look at the big guy. As of course.
I have a big mouth. Became popular, kind of semi
(27:11):
famous comedian. One time I was more famous than others. Whatever,
I'm gonna be the guy, the asshole. I'm gonna be
the guy who's definitely the abuser all those things. That's
what I'm gonna be. And by the way, in this
Amend's letter, I did get to the parts where it's
abusive or it's a domineering or controlling or whatever it is.
Owned it own in that stuff. Understanding that we're not perfect,
(27:41):
but we are perfect. We are we are a whole,
We are perfect, and we don't need a guru to
fill in those holes that aren't even there. We don't
need someone else to verify who we are, influence who
(28:03):
we are. This woman broke as an influencer, plain and simple.
She's influenced other people to follow her and make a mob.
She talks about feminine, you know, being a feminist and
so forth, so there was that freedom that we had
(28:24):
for a few weeks. And then she started and I
asked her for something when she came over. She can't
face me when we're dropping off the kids. She stays
in the car and it's just so passive aggressive, and
I'm like hey, And I literally walked up to her
and she told me when she had me arrested, she
regretted it. I'm so sorry, you know, in her own way,
(28:47):
claiming that she, oh, I did it by accident. I
didn't have another choice because they would have arrested me
or whatever it was. She'd makes this big story up.
She doesn't tell the truth, that she lied, and I
held her phone up. I said, I'll tell you that.
If you tell me the truth, I'll gay in the
phone back. And instead of she went into a complete rage,
a rage spiral that you've an animal. She became an
(29:10):
animal attacking. But they're gonna believe her, of course. So
it was horribly painful to have that happen. A man
of integrity being arrested and sitting on a slab, and
(29:31):
it's just so humiliating. This is bright leg It can't sleep.
I had COVID all night. It was just awful. They
have this literally like a scummy phone. You have to
make a call, call the bail bondsman. That cost me
twenty thousand dollars to get out of there. She just
costs me so much money, and she doesn't care. She's unconscious.
(29:51):
It's my hard work. And I don't come from anything.
I never inherited a dime, literally, not a dime, only
dead and yet and I am proud by the way
of that that all the children get the benefit from
those things, from the sacrifices going on the road when
I want to be on the road and leave my
family and all that. So she comes over and I said,
(30:16):
i'd literally at peace signs flashing peace on say peace,
Let's go to the Malle Vibe. I kept saying, let's
go to the Mallee Vibe, thinking I could bring her
out of this reach opposite, she pulls out her phone.
I'm going to send this to the police. I'm calling
the police. I'm calling the police, and she starts videoing
(30:38):
me with peace signs. Well, there goes your regret of
calling the police. She's now going to call the police
with me flashing peace signs. But what she sees, I
think is a big giant guy coming at her. She
doesn't see peace. She thinks, oh my god, this guy's
threatening me. I believe that must be what it is,
(31:00):
because she disassociates and turns into this person. I'm going
to please what. I finally walked away, and I do
get intense, you know, when she does these walk away
things and run away things, scratching her ears, whatever she does,
it's unbelieva. When I keep going, I'll go please stop,
please stop, and I turned into this you know guy,
please please please please please come back. Stop stop. I'm here.
(31:26):
It's okay now. I don't think she ever ever wants
and it happened dozens and dozens of times. Or she
does the runaway thing and completely leaves her body traumatized.
She calls them trauma responses, but never has dealt with
the trauma response, never dealt with where it came from,
(31:47):
never dealt with healing. You know, she's been to some
frauds and stuff like that. She literally told me, oh,
they diagnosed me and said, I'm not a narcissist. I
don't need any help. That's what she said, don't need
any help, but you're gonna do these actions. She I
did a video of the kids, film me in the
front seat driving talking about solutions. She takes that video
(32:16):
and sends it to their therapist, compromising their therapy. Are
both our children. Sends it to the therapist to have
me reported for child endangerment because I was talking and driving.
I wasn't I didn't have a phone. This is how
far she goes. And it happened by like here we
go child services. So I'm arrested now police, all this
(32:38):
child service. It's crazy time. This is due to being
in a cult. Normal people don't behave in this way.
And it's one after another. When I get knocks on doors,
I'm assuming the worst. I'm assuming something's going to happen.
It happened before with the wife before that police and
(33:01):
just gives kids a PTSD to this day, growing up
like that, and I'll do anything not to have that
happen again to these two and so far the other
ones were young and impressionable, and they really bought into
that venom that would come from their mother and the
resentment and the hatred that came at me, and they
(33:22):
were affected by it. My responses, they're also affected by it.
Say please write a letter tell the chorts what the
truth is. So now they're caught in the middle. There's
a caught in the middle thing that drives me crazy.
Of course they're caught in the middle, but they're caught
in the middle by first it happens. It starts with
the anger and rage being put upon dad. That's where
(33:45):
it starts. That's in the middle. You're now there now
in the middle of toxicity and pain and anger and
angst and anxiety and cutting off and violence. They're in
the middle of that. My response and having them tell
the truth is not putting them in the middle. It's
trying my best to get truth be told. That's what
(34:08):
I was talking about when I was driving. I was trying.
This is just really frustrating to be on the other
side of that. I don't want to be a victim.
I just want to be in a truthful space and
have her get to the truth, have the children understand
the truth is the most important thing. Honesty, integrity, honoring
your word, commitments, vows, all those things are really important.
(34:31):
And especially if she's going to be a coach. That's
what this wellness grifter community does. They all become coaches.
I don't know what the hell they're what the hell
they're coaching? Because she has nothing to share. She never
made any money, hasn't had any progress. There's no failed marriage.
She bailed on. The marriage didn't work on. It didn't
go to the right people you know, to make it work.
(34:55):
It's all failure. So what are you coaching? So my
tip is I've been advised to make tips. Uncover as
much as you can unearth, and look below the surface
of what they're telling you. Anyone, peel it back, look
(35:20):
at them, feel their energy. If they're running, they're hiding,
and they're hiding something. And many many things were hidden
from me, many many, many things, too many to count,
(35:41):
she started at the end. Another blow was, I don't know,
I don't know how it happened, but she's so secretive.
But somehow I got her cell phone and she let
me read this text exchange. I don't know how it
happened that she let me, or she sort of, and
then she dove for the phone once she saw that
(36:02):
what I was reading from this this father, this local father,
we'll call him MINEO. So he is the ex husband
of one of her best friends, who hates me, who
believed all of the abuse. She believed it all. Wouldn't
talk to me at school things, and I used to
(36:23):
say to when we're married, I go, she's so mean
to me. I don't think the kids should see that either.
She's copped this resentment. We'll call her Ginny Ginny mean face.
Oh my god, it's like this disdain. You know, she's
(36:44):
believing that she's protecting her friend and she should get
out and all that kind of stuff. And I guess
I would do the same thing if I assumed that
what she was telling or was true. There I'm the abuser,
so you got to get out anyway. She has an
exchange with this guy, the ex husband of Ginny, and
(37:06):
he's calling her babe, and I'll protect you, get you
away from him. How's it going with him? Did you
get out yet? This is horrible. I'm reading this stumba.
Who's he talking about? It's because that's what she presented
to him. Please save me, just like I saved her.
She lived in a treehouse with no running water or whatever.
(37:28):
I guess I saved her too. So she goes to
someone else, plays the victim. He plays the conquering hero,
and he's calling her babe. What's this, I said to her,
and she dove for the phone. Who Once I started reading,
I said, what's this? He's calling you, babe and say
(37:52):
he's going to get you a house, a protective house,
a safe house. What's that? And I know one? He said,
you know? And it was another gut punch. This guy,
I means. I played with him, I've done paintball with him,
and our kids play. They we all met in baby
(38:15):
class fourteen years ago. So she has a group of
those moms. They all hang out together, and I big
fan of all of them until they turned to protect
their friend. I get it. I guess they're just protecting
their friend because they believe what it's that this is
all true. You think that they would ever say, oh
my god, this beautiful Lotus is a liar, a pathological liar.
(38:37):
There's no shot that they're going to believe that he
is a problem in our societies. We don't want to believe,
so then we don't go into the denial and push
this away and then blame and go after the person
and all that. This guy went after me acting like
I was these things, and he found her a safe house.
So two different times she moved into a safe house
(39:00):
to get away, and it was like costly these airbnbs.
I didn't know where she was and didn't know where
the house was, and then she popped back to the
house and again, and I'll tell you one more thing
now I'm gonna save it. Remind me to tell you
(39:23):
when the big blow happened. I reached out to that guy.
By the way, since then, I reached out to Genie
and I said, hey, you know, you might want to
talk to her. You know, this is when it first started.
And there they'll just blame me because I never liked
you and all this kind of stuff, this pretty nasty stuff.
I don't know why, you know what I ever did.
And you know again, people think I have a big
(39:45):
ego and the big big guy and all that kind
of stuff and whatever. They make assumptions. They don't know
that I'm really giving, really loving, really supportive, and that's
been my whole life, that's what I do. They don't
know that. They get an interpretation from someone else that
they believe and then work from that assumption. So the
(40:09):
tip is, don't work with assumptions. Uncover as much as
you possibly can, don't put your belief in people. That's
what she did. She believed in this guru type. So
I'm going to get to the other story, but I
am going to read you a few notes before I
(40:32):
end this. These are unsolicited notes that I got from
people in private message on Facebook. It's about thirty of them,
all issuing concern they still do this is. This has
been going on for a couple of years now, you know,
questioning what she's doing. Is she making any money with this?
She does, these dances and all these all these you know,
(40:55):
just copies. She literally copies this woman. It's kind of
it's just sick. She copies her exact cadences and pauses
and capitalizations and all that. She just copies her. And
I would love you someday if you do find out
who this is, just go look for yourself. This one
guy says, a living hell you're experiencing from Lotus's descent
(41:18):
into feminazi cult. She got herself sucked into. Unfortunately, there
is little you can do that will cause her to
snap out of it. It is sad. She's firmly in
the clutches of this broke nutbag. Was obviously tapped into
something going on inside of Lotus that made her a
prime target for this sort of spiritual scam. I don't
(41:39):
know what you are being accused of, but I do
know that this woman is a full blown narcissist just
by scrolling down her Facebook page a bit nothing but
picks of herself, clearly intended to convince other women out
happy she is since abandoning her family. I recall when
I first became at Facebook Friends with Lotus that most
of her posts were a lot like this too. I
(42:01):
didn't judge it at the time, but they seem to
have a kind of a hard sell. For whatever it was,
Lotus was trying to market, exploiting her own innate health
and beauty to attract potential customers. At least that was
the impression I got. So now I know where all
that is coming from, and it's extremely saddening to learn
that it may well mean the end of your marriage. Yes,
(42:23):
it did ask her what to do about that. Well,
no amount of posting on brokes Facebook page is going
to make a dent, and such a person has obviously
gone over the rail. She's a cult leader and just
like he said this not me, by the way, He's
just like trumpists. A lot of people believe people are
in the cult of Trump. She sees a completely different
(42:45):
reality than the rest of us. I got sucked in
a fundamentalist thing at thirteen, another cold, huge one. They
prey upon young people's parents aren't giving them the love
they crave, and da da da dah. It talks all
about that himself and this thing. He's right. I think
you have to look at your situation like this. Lotus
has been brainwashed by a cult, and you won't be
(43:07):
able to talk the cult leader into releasing her so
long as the cult has something from Lotus it strongly desires.
And that is the case. She's in the down line,
she's controlled. She uplifts and makes posts about this narcissist leader.
That's what she gets out of it. She gets the money.
She gets money from the scamming that Lotus has done. Ugh,
(43:33):
that may just be her devotion, but in wealth generation
scams and that's in quotes, it's mostly cash. This is
Broke's achilles heel. And in my humble opinion, you should
immediately cut Lotus off from any source of your income
that she would use to continue paying tribute to this nutbag.
If Broke doesn't turn her away, from that, then it's
(43:55):
about Lotus's devotion to her Guru, and that's much harder break.
Many relationships are based on codependence. Normally I stay out
of such conflicts, but I wanted to share my thoughts
with you as well as my support. Always remember that
your life is not about your marriage, nor your kids,
nor your career. It's simply about the experiences you are
having as you and the rest of us meander through
(44:18):
the duality illusion, within countless levels of pretending that we
are not God. This is why human life is so imperfect,
because we provide the pretense of imperfection that God requires
in order to understand God's infinite and timeless perfection of being,
where the yin to God's yang, providing the required balance
of the existence equation. So whatever suffering you find yourself
(44:41):
experiencing the life, embrace it fully, because to do otherwise
is to deny the only moment that ever exists, and
that only prolongs the suffering. As they say in twelve
step programs, grant yourself the serendy to accept the things
you cannot change, the courage to change the key what
you can, in the wisdom to know the difference. Gray
we both know the you're on a spiritual path of
realization of your gods self within. We are now experiencing
(45:05):
just another challenge to your soul for you to rise
above as you awaken to the next greater version of
the greatest vision you have ever had about yourself. On
higher level, yours and Lotus's souls are in agreement over
what is now taking place. It is our egos which
reject the eternal now. Whenever experience is negative, meditate on
(45:27):
Lotus's soul as long as you own your family, families,
and remember that we are all one pretending we are many.
God bless you, my friend. I can't do much better
than that. Other people talk about she's brainwashed. I can't
stand a woman with the point he knows. Someone else
(45:50):
says that Broke can be sued about making claims of
helping women with trauma. She's not qualified or certified. These
are all the letters that I receive. I noticed that
Lotus's posts are getting straight and stranger, like it wasn't
like her at all. I totally believe this woman is
completely manipulated. These are all different people. Other people say
(46:12):
I should report Broke to the FBI anyway, a lot
of people reached out. You lost your marriage to a
con artist. It's pretty sad. I don't know. I don't know.
(46:32):
Maybe she's a bigger con artists than broke his I
don't know. I just know that she has no conscience left.
I know I've tried and tried and tried to speak
to her. I know I've tried and tried to bring
people out, pay for anything for rehabilitation, which she promised
the kids that she would do. Another broken promise, broken promise,
(46:53):
broken promise. It doesn't matter to her hearing this, she
ever heard this, it wouldn't matter to her connects to
her heart anymore. Nothing, And that's just sad. Warning is there, folks, unpeel, unpack.
If somebody's pitching you something, look further. We're gonna look
(47:18):
further into this on the next episode. I'm trying not
to be too dramatic. I'm trying to laugh things, laugh
about things still, and I'm having a great time in
my life. By the way, let's not feel sorry for
me or the kids. You're having a great time too,
(47:43):
So talk to you a little bit
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