August 13, 2024 • 44 mins
In this episode, we dive into the complexities of relationships, self-discovery, and personal growth. Our host shares his emotional journey, reflecting on past traumas, the pressures of maintaining a marriage, and the impact of spiritual and personal transformation.We explore old Facebook messages from the host's former partner, shedding light on their relationship dynamics and the challenges they faced. This episode offers a raw and intimate look into love, loss, and the path to healing.Tune in for a heartfelt and insightful discussion on navigating the ups and downs of life and relationships.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
I'm not sure if this will be the last episode
I had an intention of doing ten. I don't know.
This is just a flow from obviously my heart, my
deepest consciousness. I am present available for self expedition awareness
(00:36):
at the same time with a goal of perhaps someone
getting through to her, somebody saying return to who you were.
And I have a few old Facebook messages from her.
Read them to you, just so you know where this
has come from. And by the way, this is the
(00:57):
tease of well, maybe she's these Facebook posts, maybe she
is this instead of the Facebook posts recently that are
all about flowery. She went to the engagement. Of course
it broke and Rundel had to have an engagement. It
was all about this BS and oh, it's just so
(01:21):
these people are so ridiculous, how they are with one
another and my beloved or this phony. They lived three
hundred miles away and yet have this connection with Lotus
that is undeniable, And just to keep affirming it, I'm like, hey,
(01:43):
did you put that in your marriage? But this is
alleged love. Why don't you put in your marriage? Just
give that a shot, is what I would think the
entire time, but or the times of recent times when
she got sucked in. So here's one of her posts
(02:05):
from four years ago. She says, I took sex off
the table, and now I can't get enough of him.
Like any marriage, we've had ups and downs. Because we
have a strong commitment to our spiritual purposes and willingness
to own our shit, We've overcome quite a bit in
(02:26):
the last thirteen years we've had together. How true is
that and how cool is that that she's admitting that
there was a part of me that was hiding, protecting,
and not being fully honest about what I was feeling.
I hid them because these feelings could be hurtful. The
last thing I want to do is harm my relationship.
I get it. Yeah, So whenever things felled out of alignment,
I went to my corner on my side of the
(02:47):
street quotes. The irony was I was quote working inside
of my pain, body, my emotional injuries. Retreating is my
way I operate when I'm in a shamed spiral. So
she knows that she goes into shame spirals. Unfortunately, she
(03:08):
took that spiral, encouraged by Broke, and took it to
dissolve instead of embracing and working on self like she
does here. My retreating was one of those biggest offenses
to his emotional injuries, which is true. Every time she
would retreat, it would hit me. It was like the
(03:28):
perfect storm, and I mean a storm, because she would
just run away as I would plead and beg, please
stay and have a discussion. We can have a calm
discussion and work this out, whatever it is, she says.
My pain body was triggering his, which put him into
a shame spiral, which made him operate in a way
that made me retreat even more. Yeah, love and passion
(03:51):
I fell in other areas of my life wasn't exactly
translating to having a deep in supportive partnership. I told
myself a lie and it was okay with that. As
long as I was happy with my health, career, parenting, community,
and life purpose. It didn't can't be a big deal
if my marriage was a bit saggy, Right. I have
so many tools for self reflection, living my authentic self,
(04:11):
and yet there weren't enough in this arena. Yeah, she
picked all the other arenas, which is familiar to me
by the way I've watched my sister did the same thing,
where everything was about other people and impressing other people.
And I remember, she's like dedicated to homeless people. I'm like,
(04:32):
shouldn't even treat me like a homeless person. It's like
she's another one. It's a pattern in my life. Strangers
are more important than family. On the opposite, So then
she says, or maybe they were exactly the right things
to lay the groundwork for the excavation it was about
to take place, or maybe they were exactly the or
the transformation I experienced this year dictated that I grow
(04:54):
beyond the way our marriage was functioning. All the ideas
I had about what good marriages, who a good wife
is had to be thrown out. I just could not
pursue my path to authenticity. Why I codependently operated out
of a mixture of resentments and guilt for not matching
up to self imposed standards. It was time to smash
the constructs. First off the table was the expectation of sex.
(05:18):
He accepted the boundary. We weren't having that much to
be given with big surprise. Next, I had to be brutal. Also,
she doesn't say in here she told me to go
have sex with someone else because she would not have
sex with me. She said, go ahead, you have my
full permission. This is part of her surrender. Next, I
had to brutal, be brutally honest where I was. Something
(05:39):
had died in me and I was unable to access
the loving feelings for him any longer. I still loved
him as a person, but not the kind of vulnerable,
authentic love that I would want from my partner. This,
I want to say to everyone out there, So what's
the phase. It's okay, it's okay to fall out of love,
(06:02):
but have the intention. My tip for the day, have
the intention of finding that love again, finding the spark.
Open up, be vulnerable, open your heart, be of service,
do some service acts. Get out of self, get out
of selfishness. Look at the children and put them first,
(06:26):
and think to yourself, Oh, I want to be an
example to those children. She says. It was scary. He
took it all in while I spewed out years worth
of my resentments. It was ugly, capital ugly. I told
him I didn't even know if I was committed to
our marriage. I watched the man I shared so much
with breakdown. It was one of the most painful things
(06:47):
I've done. To say that. It was crushing to watch
him go over the cliff of sorrow as an understatement, Yes,
I was an absolute sorrow. I loved this woman. I
still love this woman as the mother of my children,
my former wife. I love people anyway, I will love
(07:08):
them even if they don't love me back. And it
was sorrowful. The sorrow part was also like, you're really
not going to give this any more effort. I just
still couldn't access hope. I was open to the possibility
that things would work out, but my trust in us
was frozen. We cried, We sobbed, and walked out to
(07:28):
go to work. I went back to my kid duty.
It was the end. And then something shifted my fear.
The rock that was sitting on my chest, that blocked
all hope suddenly dissipated, and all of a sudden, it
cast your line of Trader Joe's A beam of light
shone into my heart. I texted him immediately. I thought.
I thought he'd retaliate with how much I've hurt him
and how there's nothing I could do to repair that,
(07:49):
and I was willing to hear that. He texted back,
that's music to my ears. That fast. One thing I
must tell you about this spectacular man. Is he's able
to make a quantum shift in an instant. She talks
all about how she cried and Chloe was with her,
wondering what Jesus said something about I'm in love with
(08:10):
your father. She ran into my arms and as I do,
is I complete forgiveness and complete solution. That's the way
I like to operate and live my life. And reading this,
by the way, is reminding me. It's saying, well, you know,
(08:32):
maybe it was a phase. Maybe it was a phase,
but she was not willing to go any deeper into
that place that she went in that letter. There's another
one I'll read another time. I think I already promised
that this might be my or not. I promised this
might be my last one. But there's another one. It's
just it's similar. And yeah, yesterday I had a melt down.
(08:59):
I don't know if it was an energetic healing crisis.
In the session I have with this beautiful tribe in
my business. She throws the tribe and my business in there,
stepping into my mindset practices, whether a mentor or what
her mentor is the guru. The camel's back was broken.
I fell in a puddle of tears. Craig found me
covered up in blankets and our bedy listened while I
barely put a few sentences together through my sobs, and
(09:23):
we connected in all caps. The embarrassing truth is I
had not felt connected with him in a while. A
family issue knocked us off balance a few months ago,
and in dealing with it, all of us went into
our pain bodies, emotional injuries, at dysfunctions. One thing in
Craig and I deal with we deal with pain differently.
When he's in fear, he springs into action. When I'm
in fear, I shut down. I used our dynamic as
(09:45):
an excuse to harden me. I began to build a
wall around my heart because for fuck's sake, I wasn't
going to let him let this take me down. And
that attitude, that energy of rejection, took me further and
further in retreat mode, which made him feel alone, which
made me retreat que the catch twenty two. I don't
know how things shifted yesterday, if you a convenient wrap up,
(10:09):
she says, but I took dedication from both of us
to stay in our relationship, which is what I've been
saying all along. That's right. If you're in a relationship,
go in, not out. How is that's how people go
with other people? You know they think that's the answer.
Grass is always greener. Go in, Go in, not in
the relationship, in yourself to figure out what can I do?
(10:33):
What can I sacrifice? What ego can I destroy? What
can I do? To go in? She says it took humility.
She's right, it took willingness. It took a bit of magic,
another name for gratitude. And that's something that I stress
with these children and what I coach, Yes, I coach
gratitude is one of the letters that otherwise you're in
(10:55):
an entitlement, which is where she got to. She got
to an entire old, spoiled child who acts like a
spoiled child. But then she's saying, this man reiterated to me,
he has been in love with me throughout it all, even
with all my cold shoulders, nasty looks, my quiet disrespect.
She hasn't mentioned the violence. Maybe she wasn't doing it
at that time. I remember true happiness from being able
(11:18):
to be open hearted, being present, vulnerable, humble and loving.
These are the qualities I aspire to have in all
areas of my life. Yes, there's the saying, practice these principles,
and all of our affairs not affairs, in everything we do.
Last night I finally got there, she says. While my
day was spent with tears of frustration, in the evening,
I cried a river of joy, the joy of a
(11:40):
heart wide open and waking up next to him was
the sweetest moment. Here's to us, used to all of
you capital letters were striving for deep, meaningful relationship. I
love the shoes, the ones with the one with the
puffy eyes, and there's a picture of the two of
us nuggled together. Isn't that long ago? That's the possibility.
(12:09):
I like to live in a realm of possibility. That's
why I wanted interventions. That's why I wanted somebody courageous
enough to say, hey, let me read this back to you.
This is who you are, lotus. This is who you are,
not the one who's showing yourself with money and all
these little gimmicks to get people to follow you and
(12:32):
praise you. I've been to a broke's wall and there's
a husband out there who claims that I broke up.
Is that you know? Oh, it's justification. And I think
I might have mentioned this before. One of the most
hurtful things to see is everybody's got an opinion, but
they don't know. They don't know. I'll tell you flat out.
(12:54):
You can talk to the kids. I'm this is stuff
that is absolutely real, has happened and still happening. They
said she didn't leave that marriage. She escaped, and that's
what she put out there for everybody. Like the guy
that said I'll find you a safe house, babe, like
the ones who does shut me out and don't speak
(13:16):
to me in front of my kids, are nasty to me,
that people ignore me. All the pleas for sanity, the
please to step in. Yeah, that's the way people have
taken it. You know what, I'm gonna say this in
an angry way. I have anger when I say this.
Have courage. You people's lack of courage really bothers me.
(13:45):
And she talks about pride. You know this, Broke talks
about pride. It's all this BS pride. I am proud.
I am proud of some of the things that I've
done to be of service to others, interventions that I've
done where I've allowed big g to guide me into
these interventions. This is a form of it as well.
It's an intervention for other people. Maybe somebody listening is
(14:09):
also acting like she is selfish, narcissistic, self involved, mean, cruel, spiteful, secretive,
deceptive liar. I teased this one story. It's another one
(14:36):
that will tell you how rapped she is in this
cult and how she's just a different person, and old
Broke is proud of her. I just saw another post
from Broke. I should read that one to you about
this goddess that she holds in space and we support
(14:56):
one another. We've been through divorces, You've been through abandoning,
abandoning your highest good, your highest consciousness, which brought two
children into the world. She has two children as well.
That's what you abandoned. You abandoned that you went into
your own ego, simple as that. I'm not going to
(15:20):
diagnose you, but that's exactly what happened. So we're at
this vacation back East a couple of years ago. The
other two children were there, her step children. It was
(15:41):
great to be with everyone. We had so much fun.
Just I have videos of it of her sharing this
part with me that goes down mountains like a roller coaster.
Amused yah, king and swimming and everything together, everybody with
(16:05):
a ball. And she left early, which is a little
suspicious for me. She flew back early while we all
stayed and all the kids, the older ones, younger ones,
and younger ones, came back and we moved into this house,
a rental house, as sort of an emergency because we
sold the other one, but then it didn't sell, so
(16:26):
we waited months for it to sell. So when I
came back, I was starting to get suspicious because I
was noticed in stealing of money. I was noticing obviously
the other things I've described to you. You believe this,
by the way, how many things that she's done, this
good person, It's a lot. So here's what she did next.
(16:52):
This is guided by this leader, you go girl, This
sick femininity. It treats men horribly, horribly. The disrespect for
the sacrifices and the love she described me in those letters,
(17:15):
that is me. Yes, I'll jump the solution. I jump
to forgiveness. I jumped to love. I expressed the love.
No matter how much she's being mean and unkind, I
still become from that loving place. I'm not gonna be
a doormat, obviously, and I do have my reactions, but
that's who I am. It's why we had a great
marriage for a long time. Sees me for who I am.
(17:36):
I see her for she is. I used to just
think that she was anyway. You've heard that before. And
I truly a magnificent human being. So I come back
and we finally sold the house, and it was really
a big bummer. We lost hundreds of thousands on the
(17:58):
deal that the ones backed off, and then suddenly it
was a quiet it was it was just interest rates
all of a sudden went up and said we were
lucky to sell the house at this amount. But it
was a house I bought before I knew her, and
with my ex wife at the time. Tell you about
(18:21):
that x is how how beautiful she is. I gave
her the house. That's what I do. I'm generous. Move
back to this other house, you know, Sherman Oaks and
ways away, still kept I still kept another house nearby
so I could coach the kids and be there for
them at their schools. That made sure that they were
everybody was comfortable. And one day, and I'm proud of
(18:44):
my credit because I come from poverty. I'm proud of
my credit. One day I was at Barney's and I said, here,
here you go, get ten percent off. I get a
new credit card from Barney's and I said, sorry, your decline.
I said, oh, try it again. I was very cocky
with my credit, so proud when I got I remember
when I bought the first house, this other house. My
business manager said, you can have any house you want.
You have great credits. Wow, that's awesome, so wonderful to
(19:06):
feel that that success be able to provide for this family,
this dream family. Right, So dreams are broken a lot.
So that wife from the past, she purposely took my
(19:26):
name and she never took my name off of all
the credit cards and everything else. She purposely ran it
into foreclosure, the house. This is how vindictive she is.
Purposely she told my business manager that vengeful, do anything
to get custody, full custody, anything, she went to any length.
(19:49):
I kept standing there. It was hard, hard not to
attack back when you're all this. And then that was
another thing. Now my credit's down, so she was gonna
have house forecloses. And I didn't want the kids again
to be in more disarray, more chaos, so I bought
the house or from her. So then we move in,
(20:12):
me and Lotus, who are now married, We move in.
She saved the place. We laughed about it to get
the evil spirits out of there because she had a
tough time with her as well, which is amazing how
she's imitating her. Now she's acting like her, knowing the
pain that she put us through, and now she's going
to put me and these kids through the same similar
pain of lies and accusations and bad defamation and all
(20:36):
that she's doing. It's amazing that she went through that,
and it was painful for all of us. So get
the house. Two children born in the house. Home birth
not my jam, but it was hers, a little hippie.
I do bits of my comedy act about it. True
(20:57):
stories and twenty one hours of labor. The midwife asked
said to have sex with her, or I don't get
the baby out. I don't know the kids right there,
I can see them, you know. So well, anyway flooded
the place, you know, because it was a tub and
it got flooded. And then we'd build a beautiful addition
to this house that we had together. It was just amazing,
(21:18):
and there was such a beautiful tub in there that
we gave birth to Chloe in there, our second child.
But then after Chloe came, she got involved with raven
and broke and cult activities and all of this because
she wanted to find herself. She didn't want to just
be a mom. I get it, I get it, I understand.
(21:39):
I have compassion and empathy for it. That's the direction
she took, still not earning her own money. Though own money,
you know, stood in quotes. So I was suspicious when
we sold the house. I just had a little suspicion,
I said. And also she would like criticize me over money.
And I remember when I got a BMW she cried
(22:01):
in the parking lot. Was embarrassing. I remember when I
was buying that house down the Jersey Shore she was
She cried, Then, you know, why would you do this?
You're abusive? You know. She called it abusive, And I said,
something's weird here. So I put us on camera. I
still have the video. I'll show you if you asked me.
(22:23):
I said, Hey, this money that's coming in, let's have
an agreement and unless we agree, we won't spend over.
I think I was seven fifty or something and she
a thousand and anyway she was she you know, protested
a little bit like you know, some other number or whatever.
(22:44):
We're not going to touch this money. We're gonna come
to agreements. Da da da. And we put her all
on video standing in the house that was just sold
empty kitchen there we were, did this video and she
was so cold when she turned to the camera. You
could see the detachment in her eyes. That's where she
can go easily like a criminal. She's like, she's a criminal.
(23:09):
She has no conscience and this unconscious person doesn't care
about me or even the children. At this point because
what she's about to do. She turns in. She says,
we're not going to touch this money. And I agreed too.
I'm not going to is even Stephen. And she convinces
(23:30):
me to sign the title over to her because it
was not in her name because it was bought before.
She convinced me, and I did the honorable thing. This
being honorable, by the way, kind of sucks. Sucks. Hear
what happened with a joint bank account. She made me
open up a joint bank account, which is where the
money went. I went away, I did the Sherry Shepherd Show.
(23:53):
I love Sherry, and she had me on a special
guest and a wonderful time in New York. I see
my friends. I love to go to New York's actually
certain times a year we can just be outside and it's,
you know, just a great time. And I'm literally in
such a great place in my life, a spiritual place.
I was literally calling her with prayers, calling her with affirmations,
(24:16):
calling her with great spirit, and I wasn't hearing back.
So she's going to pick me up at the airport,
which was always a deal that we had. If I'm
going to work so hard, you guys picked me up. Now,
she didn't do it all the time, but she had
an agreement. She's going to pick me up, and I
(24:38):
land the anticipation I'm going to see her after this,
you know, exhausting trip of work and everything, but also
an uplifting trip. I loved hanging with Sherry on this
new television show. It is really cool. And she used
(25:01):
to read your email and I went to my email,
I will not be picking you up at the airport.
What I'm divorcing you. I file for divorce and I
(25:24):
took the kids. She took the kids against their will.
They have no issues with me. They've only had issues
with her. They've only witnessed her violence. I took the kids,
she went to one of her safe houses, didn't tell
me where she was, took their phones. So now I'm
(25:46):
like scrambling, what the hell's going on here? You just
imagine that person. You've pledged to a person, You've given
everything to a person. You've been supportive of, loving of,
supported all of her businesses, even all the failed businesses,
hundreds of thousands of dollars into these businesses, eighty thousand
ripped off on the broke Broke slash Raven thing. Even
(26:09):
more with all the other the crypto and the Mommy Minutes,
and all these investments have been made, the RX to soap,
all those things in the water system by the water
system six thousand dollars. For that coaching program nine thousand dollars.
There's a long supporting of these medicine journeys, two medicine journeys,
which might have even messed up her brain. I don't know.
(26:30):
I didn't even know who the person was. The person
who's a shaman is also a coach, and all these
other things. There's all the craziness that I had to endure.
But I wasn't enduring because I was just going, Oh,
just be supportive. Man. That's where it got me. I
wanted a full panic. You've got to be kidding me.
(26:51):
There's no warning. Come back to the house. It's empty.
I was locked out of the house and one of
my I can't get hold of her. Of course she's
not gonna it's her phone. That's how she operates. I
didn't know where the kids were, so I had to wait,
and I showed up at the drop off place. She's
(27:14):
acting like I'm an abuser because I'm at the drop
off place. Are you kidding me? I went right to
the principal and I told them. Of course, they don't
want to hear that. Both principles. They don't want to
hear the By the way, they're going to think it's
me again. She kidnapped these kids. It's the second time
she's kidnapped them. She did at the time that I
was arrested. She had me arrested on false charges. She
(27:35):
did the same thing, then took them away to an
undisclosed location. Till you're not talking to daddy, I'm taking
your phone. They have no idea. This is what's going
to be in their memories for the rest of their lives.
The embarrassment of me having to show up at school
being kidnapped and taken away from their dad, who they love.
And they've never seen one single issue, and not one
(27:56):
I have them recorded. They told the therapist flat out Mom, Mom,
Mom is the violent one. Mom is the one who
runs away mom's and one doesn't. Dad has never done
any of those things. I'm so happy by the way
that they're at least I have witnesses. I don't want
to subject them to it. I am thinking about even
(28:19):
having them on here. People say putting them in the middle.
There are in the middle. They're in the middle. They're
in pain. They told me tonight about they're upset that
you know, she's telling them about her boyfriend and his
name and all this kind of stuff. When she actually said,
let's not tell them that. You know this. She doesn't
honor one single commitment, and they're not happy with any
(28:43):
of her actions. She was this woman that I read
these notes from. She just gave it one little more
of a try instead of giving up. And I noticed
the pattern again. I see the red flags and paint
them green. She did have a pattern of quitting. We
(29:03):
first got together, I was so, oh my god, I
was so like I my exed before that was never
worked and just was a sponging money and paid her
twelve thousand a month and just just awful. And I
had to spend a million dollars holding on to fifty
percent custody. And then she didn't get one to ounce
more custody because none of it was true. But still
(29:24):
you got to prove it, and that's tough to prove lawyers.
Just all this stuff mess someone to live a happy,
serene life. That's what I thought I was gonna lead
with this life, and we did for a while, even
though we had that other attacking, attacking and attacking that
still went on. I gotta take a breath right now.
(29:47):
I think about it as traumatic. When I got off
that plane and read that email, it was a shock
to my system that I've ever had before. There was
no warning. It's like a bomb went off for all
of us. The kids. I remember their faces when I
(30:10):
sewed up at school. They were embarrassed. And she doesn't care.
She's glueless, she doesn't care, just as that face I
used to call it the face doesn't care about their feelings,
won't listen to them. I said before, when they were
vulnerable and they were in an intervention, she screamed up
and down, scared the hell of them. We just walked
away and got nowhere blaming. She has an excuse for everything.
(30:38):
I used to say a Wizard of Oz. Because because because,
because because she always because, because, because, because, because because
of the awful things he does, because because because everything's
because it's never because of self evaluation, which she did
in these letters, these these I've printed out so their letters,
(30:59):
but these Facebook posts not that long ago, those little
things give you a little hope, you know, go, maybe
she's gonna be restored to sanity. This is insane behavior,
as that you probably would agree, and this is what
happens when you give yourself over to a con artist.
(31:30):
Here's another note that I received Craig, I feel for you.
I met Raven some years ago and her messy, seductive
vibe turned me off. I recognize she's a narcissist, which
just adds to the mess and all the toxicity that
broke still dispenses. Another one says, I just don't get
how they justified in their head. I know Broke doesn't
(31:51):
have a conscience, but I couldn't see that happening with Lotus.
I don't know much about Lotus' past trauma, or even
if it's generational trauma. I'm wondering if she's using Broke's
manipulations as an easy way out. About that. That just
hit me in a different way. Yeah, she'sd an easy
way out. Many couples will tend to work it out,
(32:14):
not just dance out the door. She's not woke as
Broke portrays it. She's blind by the appearance of calling
her shots. There are other people's feedback, and it's very unfortunate.
Once Broke has gotten what she wants, there will be
a trail of lost hope, sad show. There's another one
(32:37):
says she uses the kids' as pawns. This is how
women get power of bed dollars a donut. She's going
to women and portraying you as Og Simpson and she's
the innocent victim. Someone else says that, Yeah, that's part
of the manipulation of a cult. That's what happens. They
demonize someone, they make enemies out of people, They made
(32:58):
an enemy out of me. Someone else says, I'm sorry
your friends are ignoring you and people are treating you
this way. My friend only shared that Lotus said to
them that you are emotionally abusive. I guess emotionally abusive
is me saying, hey, can you tell the truth here?
(33:19):
Can you stop doing this? Can you please? And she says,
I told them I believe you, and I have seen
it for myself, and that Lotus has shifted and she
has fallen to this scam artist. This comes from the
other people unsolicited. It's a list and list of people.
(33:39):
She's ripped some of these people off and her scams. Ah,
she says, uh, this is the me too. Crap. This
is this is a woman says to me and cancel culture.
Men are still on bad women all good. I'm for equality,
but I don't call myself a feminist because so called
(34:00):
feminists do nothing but attack and condemn all men. I
hate seeing this happen. Yes, there are bad guys, but
there are also so many bad women, and people seem
to be blind to that true right, she says. Someone
else says, well, it's so sad. What has this woman
(34:21):
done to Lotus? I wonder why she can't see that
Broke is a sick, twisted person. Even brokes posts are
crazy and incoherent. I hope she can get some help
before this gets any worse, for the sake of the kids.
At least. I'm shocked that she won't even get help
for their sake, even if she doesn't believe she needs it.
(34:45):
She was always so loving and dedicated to them. I'm
actually reading these for the first time in a different space.
It's been a little while since these people wrote this.
Sh oh them. Someone else says that Broke as a monster.
That's what this person says. Here's one See some of
(35:12):
these people were involved with Broke and Mika and the
Lotus anyway, they do these listening calls. This is what
someone else is was pretty much just listening to Broke
brag about herself. I can't see Lotus. Can't believe Lotus
doesn't see through her. Someone else has Broke out here
(35:37):
posting nudes on her public insta. What an exemplary mother
exclamation point, Yeah, she sure is. Another one says Lotus
lost me a while ago. So sorry, Craig, you don't
deserve this. You should cut ties while you still can,
before it's too late. Not being mean, but Lotus is crazy. Sorry.
(36:02):
My son says that Lotuses helped him through trauma, and
he says she's completely gone. I drove her and those
crazy women to the airport. This is the Australia trip,
and I could see it. I try to talk to her,
but broke made Lotus insane. I don't think she'll ever
(36:22):
get help. She's too far gone. I try reaching out there,
but she's a bully when she talks and never listens.
If you ask me to talk to the court, I will.
I will tell them the truth about what Lotus has done.
Another one I says, I don't connect with Lotus. I tried.
I don't think she likes me either. She went into
(36:43):
outer space like totally self engrand eyed. I can't imagine
living with her not being mean. She's all about Lotus.
Another one says, she's traumatizing your children. A lot of concern,
but she's like thirty different people wrote to me. Prepare
for Lotus to lie with abandoned People like this have
(37:06):
no god base. She's in a cult. You can sniff
the stench of greed and selfishness. They despise and devalue men.
I don't know how it is in your home. Well,
we're married, but it must be hard to be her husband.
How is she as a mom? She puts it out
there that she's a single, independent mom, as if you
(37:26):
don't exist. Here's another one that talks about they're in
the water machine business and old broken Lotus didn't help out,
parlor talk, all this kind of stuff. This is called
(37:49):
my wife joined a cult and she did. Other people,
as you can hear, are kids. We've all been affected
by it. It's a tragedy. It takes down a lot
of people. It's like a bomb, and the bomb has
(38:09):
all of this distance that it goes. It's generational. She
hurt these children for a generation by joining up with
this woman, this phony woman, and that became more important.
Next episode, I'm going to read the threats from the
(38:33):
cult leader's Rundel boyfriend, threats that Lotus had him do
to me. Threats. When you hear these things, you might
tell me to go get some protection. We'll leave it
(38:57):
at that. What was a tip for today? Damn it,
I can't remember what my tip was. Maybe I'll just
make you laugh. Maybe I'll just oh, here's my Facebook
post today. This man is a joke. By the way,
a lot of people try to rescue. I get it,
and I do the same thing if I rescuer, but
(39:17):
it never works. So instead of just laughing at the joke,
everybody's going you have to do this, you have to
I'm talking about hundreds of people. Hundreds, oh, just one
hundred and two. Let me not exaggerate. My friends used
to call me divide by two. It's because I everything
is divided by two. So here's my joke, online match
(39:40):
on dating app, getting judgy out of the gate her.
You don't know the difference between your and your me. Oh,
I know the proper use of your as in, you're
just not worth the time it takes for an apostrophe.
I'm sarcastic. But by the way, it never happened. It's
(40:00):
a joke, and everybody says, oh, you need to get
off dating apps, you need to be by yourself and
all this kind of stuff. I'm taking care of myself.
You might hear sadness, you might hear grief, you might
hear any of those things. But I know the children
(40:22):
know I'm a resilient son of a bitch and always
will rise and thrive no matter what there's a little
bit to worry about. But my coach says to me,
with a high vibration, which I go into the high vibration.
It's a really cool this really cool energy, this rarefied air.
(40:44):
And by the way, I welcome anyone to PM me,
DM me if you want to hang in rarefied air.
People that can really uplift one another. That's my message.
Uplift one another, be there for one another. You support system, feedback,
reflect advice. Don't really need that when I try to
(41:06):
come from when I'm giving advice, if you will is
this is what worked for me. These are the things
that work for me. Do with what you want. But
I know from all this gained wisdom in life. These
techniques do work. Did it save my marriage? No, it's
(41:27):
not my marriage to save. I can't save her. I
get that. I can't save her. I can't make her
do anything. If anything, she's going to go backwards. She
did come forward when I did the amends. So it's
a big suggestion. Surrender, surrender the ego, apologize as much
as you can. She's very happy if I appeal to
(41:49):
the ego. Kiss her ass loves it. And that's what
broke does. That's how she lorder in. Somebody who's middle aged, menopause,
has children, doesn't have a job. She used to have
great jobs. By the way, I so admired her. She
(42:10):
was an electrician on movie sets, so that's like really rare.
I remember I did a pilot one time and they're like, oh,
it was familiar girlfriend and said, oh, the boss's girlfriend's
gonna come. And meanwhile by the end of it, they're like,
how do you get in a union? She shows up
with her tool belt. I was so proud of her
that she was. She's been an interpreter. She did the
movie Babble, she did The Girl, the Japanese Girl. She
(42:32):
was an interpreter. She's done documentaries. I was so proud
she did her own documentary. All these things. I remember
the one thing that I really loved about her. She
researched this thing. She had an idea of coming up
with a tea house about environmental environmental sustainability. She even
took a job as like a tea waitress to learn
about making teas, and oh my god, it was so
(42:55):
cool to watch this. But she just couldn't hold on
to any of these identities. She quits all these things.
She quit them all became a mom, which is unbelievable.
What a job that is to be honored, and I
honored her always with that job. Let's sometimes people hit
a point. I get it. Women. At a point agues
think my damn job, the hell with you? And that
(43:16):
my freedom. That's what this broke is pontificating about. It's like, oh,
I'm not just a mom and all this kind of
even though they had mommy minutes that was their thing.
They're going to teach moms how to be moms. Always
cutting the man out like he's not needed, by the way,
and that's another thing I encourage. Please, please, if you're
a woman, please honor the man. Okay, let's drop the history.
(43:44):
There's so many great guys out there. I know them,
I'm one of them. Please let's not try to defame
him to make you feel better about yourself or justify
your actions like she does. She justifies and makes everything
right by these lies. It just tells her it's mountains
and mountains of lives. Now she doesn't even know what
(44:05):
the truth is anymore. So I am going to do
another episode because I do want to reveal with this Rundle.
She hired this guy like a hitman to come after me.
These are actual text messages that I received out of
(44:30):
the blue from a man I never met. We'll get
to that in the next episode.
I'm not sure if this will be the last episode
I had an intention of doing ten. I don't know.
This is just a flow from obviously my heart, my
deepest consciousness. I am present available for self expedition awareness
(00:36):
at the same time with a goal of perhaps someone
getting through to her, somebody saying return to who you were.
And I have a few old Facebook messages from her.
Read them to you, just so you know where this
has come from. And by the way, this is the
(00:57):
tease of well, maybe she's these Facebook posts, maybe she
is this instead of the Facebook posts recently that are
all about flowery. She went to the engagement. Of course
it broke and Rundel had to have an engagement. It
was all about this BS and oh, it's just so
(01:21):
these people are so ridiculous, how they are with one
another and my beloved or this phony. They lived three
hundred miles away and yet have this connection with Lotus
that is undeniable, And just to keep affirming it, I'm like, hey,
(01:43):
did you put that in your marriage? But this is
alleged love. Why don't you put in your marriage? Just
give that a shot, is what I would think the
entire time, but or the times of recent times when
she got sucked in. So here's one of her posts
(02:05):
from four years ago. She says, I took sex off
the table, and now I can't get enough of him.
Like any marriage, we've had ups and downs. Because we
have a strong commitment to our spiritual purposes and willingness
to own our shit, We've overcome quite a bit in
(02:26):
the last thirteen years we've had together. How true is
that and how cool is that that she's admitting that
there was a part of me that was hiding, protecting,
and not being fully honest about what I was feeling.
I hid them because these feelings could be hurtful. The
last thing I want to do is harm my relationship.
I get it. Yeah, So whenever things felled out of alignment,
I went to my corner on my side of the
(02:47):
street quotes. The irony was I was quote working inside
of my pain, body, my emotional injuries. Retreating is my
way I operate when I'm in a shamed spiral. So
she knows that she goes into shame spirals. Unfortunately, she
(03:08):
took that spiral, encouraged by Broke, and took it to
dissolve instead of embracing and working on self like she
does here. My retreating was one of those biggest offenses
to his emotional injuries, which is true. Every time she
would retreat, it would hit me. It was like the
(03:28):
perfect storm, and I mean a storm, because she would
just run away as I would plead and beg, please
stay and have a discussion. We can have a calm
discussion and work this out, whatever it is, she says.
My pain body was triggering his, which put him into
a shame spiral, which made him operate in a way
that made me retreat even more. Yeah, love and passion
(03:51):
I fell in other areas of my life wasn't exactly
translating to having a deep in supportive partnership. I told
myself a lie and it was okay with that. As
long as I was happy with my health, career, parenting, community,
and life purpose. It didn't can't be a big deal
if my marriage was a bit saggy, Right. I have
so many tools for self reflection, living my authentic self,
(04:11):
and yet there weren't enough in this arena. Yeah, she
picked all the other arenas, which is familiar to me
by the way I've watched my sister did the same thing,
where everything was about other people and impressing other people.
And I remember, she's like dedicated to homeless people. I'm like,
(04:32):
shouldn't even treat me like a homeless person. It's like
she's another one. It's a pattern in my life. Strangers
are more important than family. On the opposite, So then
she says, or maybe they were exactly the right things
to lay the groundwork for the excavation it was about
to take place, or maybe they were exactly the or
the transformation I experienced this year dictated that I grow
(04:54):
beyond the way our marriage was functioning. All the ideas
I had about what good marriages, who a good wife
is had to be thrown out. I just could not
pursue my path to authenticity. Why I codependently operated out
of a mixture of resentments and guilt for not matching
up to self imposed standards. It was time to smash
the constructs. First off the table was the expectation of sex.
(05:18):
He accepted the boundary. We weren't having that much to
be given with big surprise. Next, I had to be brutal. Also,
she doesn't say in here she told me to go
have sex with someone else because she would not have
sex with me. She said, go ahead, you have my
full permission. This is part of her surrender. Next, I
had to brutal, be brutally honest where I was. Something
(05:39):
had died in me and I was unable to access
the loving feelings for him any longer. I still loved
him as a person, but not the kind of vulnerable,
authentic love that I would want from my partner. This,
I want to say to everyone out there, So what's
the phase. It's okay, it's okay to fall out of love,
(06:02):
but have the intention. My tip for the day, have
the intention of finding that love again, finding the spark.
Open up, be vulnerable, open your heart, be of service,
do some service acts. Get out of self, get out
of selfishness. Look at the children and put them first,
(06:26):
and think to yourself, Oh, I want to be an
example to those children. She says. It was scary. He
took it all in while I spewed out years worth
of my resentments. It was ugly, capital ugly. I told
him I didn't even know if I was committed to
our marriage. I watched the man I shared so much
with breakdown. It was one of the most painful things
(06:47):
I've done. To say that. It was crushing to watch
him go over the cliff of sorrow as an understatement, Yes,
I was an absolute sorrow. I loved this woman. I
still love this woman as the mother of my children,
my former wife. I love people anyway, I will love
(07:08):
them even if they don't love me back. And it
was sorrowful. The sorrow part was also like, you're really
not going to give this any more effort. I just
still couldn't access hope. I was open to the possibility
that things would work out, but my trust in us
was frozen. We cried, We sobbed, and walked out to
(07:28):
go to work. I went back to my kid duty.
It was the end. And then something shifted my fear.
The rock that was sitting on my chest, that blocked
all hope suddenly dissipated, and all of a sudden, it
cast your line of Trader Joe's A beam of light
shone into my heart. I texted him immediately. I thought.
I thought he'd retaliate with how much I've hurt him
and how there's nothing I could do to repair that,
(07:49):
and I was willing to hear that. He texted back,
that's music to my ears. That fast. One thing I
must tell you about this spectacular man. Is he's able
to make a quantum shift in an instant. She talks
all about how she cried and Chloe was with her,
wondering what Jesus said something about I'm in love with
(08:10):
your father. She ran into my arms and as I do,
is I complete forgiveness and complete solution. That's the way
I like to operate and live my life. And reading this,
by the way, is reminding me. It's saying, well, you know,
(08:32):
maybe it was a phase. Maybe it was a phase,
but she was not willing to go any deeper into
that place that she went in that letter. There's another
one I'll read another time. I think I already promised
that this might be my or not. I promised this
might be my last one. But there's another one. It's
just it's similar. And yeah, yesterday I had a melt down.
(08:59):
I don't know if it was an energetic healing crisis.
In the session I have with this beautiful tribe in
my business. She throws the tribe and my business in there,
stepping into my mindset practices, whether a mentor or what
her mentor is the guru. The camel's back was broken.
I fell in a puddle of tears. Craig found me
covered up in blankets and our bedy listened while I
barely put a few sentences together through my sobs, and
(09:23):
we connected in all caps. The embarrassing truth is I
had not felt connected with him in a while. A
family issue knocked us off balance a few months ago,
and in dealing with it, all of us went into
our pain bodies, emotional injuries, at dysfunctions. One thing in
Craig and I deal with we deal with pain differently.
When he's in fear, he springs into action. When I'm
in fear, I shut down. I used our dynamic as
(09:45):
an excuse to harden me. I began to build a
wall around my heart because for fuck's sake, I wasn't
going to let him let this take me down. And
that attitude, that energy of rejection, took me further and
further in retreat mode, which made him feel alone, which
made me retreat que the catch twenty two. I don't
know how things shifted yesterday, if you a convenient wrap up,
(10:09):
she says, but I took dedication from both of us
to stay in our relationship, which is what I've been
saying all along. That's right. If you're in a relationship,
go in, not out. How is that's how people go
with other people? You know they think that's the answer.
Grass is always greener. Go in, Go in, not in
the relationship, in yourself to figure out what can I do?
(10:33):
What can I sacrifice? What ego can I destroy? What
can I do? To go in? She says it took humility.
She's right, it took willingness. It took a bit of magic,
another name for gratitude. And that's something that I stress
with these children and what I coach, Yes, I coach
gratitude is one of the letters that otherwise you're in
(10:55):
an entitlement, which is where she got to. She got
to an entire old, spoiled child who acts like a
spoiled child. But then she's saying, this man reiterated to me,
he has been in love with me throughout it all, even
with all my cold shoulders, nasty looks, my quiet disrespect.
She hasn't mentioned the violence. Maybe she wasn't doing it
at that time. I remember true happiness from being able
(11:18):
to be open hearted, being present, vulnerable, humble and loving.
These are the qualities I aspire to have in all
areas of my life. Yes, there's the saying, practice these principles,
and all of our affairs not affairs, in everything we do.
Last night I finally got there, she says. While my
day was spent with tears of frustration, in the evening,
I cried a river of joy, the joy of a
(11:40):
heart wide open and waking up next to him was
the sweetest moment. Here's to us, used to all of
you capital letters were striving for deep, meaningful relationship. I
love the shoes, the ones with the one with the
puffy eyes, and there's a picture of the two of
us nuggled together. Isn't that long ago? That's the possibility.
(12:09):
I like to live in a realm of possibility. That's
why I wanted interventions. That's why I wanted somebody courageous
enough to say, hey, let me read this back to you.
This is who you are, lotus. This is who you are,
not the one who's showing yourself with money and all
these little gimmicks to get people to follow you and
(12:32):
praise you. I've been to a broke's wall and there's
a husband out there who claims that I broke up.
Is that you know? Oh, it's justification. And I think
I might have mentioned this before. One of the most
hurtful things to see is everybody's got an opinion, but
they don't know. They don't know. I'll tell you flat out.
(12:54):
You can talk to the kids. I'm this is stuff
that is absolutely real, has happened and still happening. They
said she didn't leave that marriage. She escaped, and that's
what she put out there for everybody. Like the guy
that said I'll find you a safe house, babe, like
the ones who does shut me out and don't speak
(13:16):
to me in front of my kids, are nasty to me,
that people ignore me. All the pleas for sanity, the
please to step in. Yeah, that's the way people have
taken it. You know what, I'm gonna say this in
an angry way. I have anger when I say this.
Have courage. You people's lack of courage really bothers me.
(13:45):
And she talks about pride. You know this, Broke talks
about pride. It's all this BS pride. I am proud.
I am proud of some of the things that I've
done to be of service to others, interventions that I've
done where I've allowed big g to guide me into
these interventions. This is a form of it as well.
It's an intervention for other people. Maybe somebody listening is
(14:09):
also acting like she is selfish, narcissistic, self involved, mean, cruel, spiteful, secretive,
deceptive liar. I teased this one story. It's another one
(14:36):
that will tell you how rapped she is in this
cult and how she's just a different person, and old
Broke is proud of her. I just saw another post
from Broke. I should read that one to you about
this goddess that she holds in space and we support
(14:56):
one another. We've been through divorces, You've been through abandoning,
abandoning your highest good, your highest consciousness, which brought two
children into the world. She has two children as well.
That's what you abandoned. You abandoned that you went into
your own ego, simple as that. I'm not going to
(15:20):
diagnose you, but that's exactly what happened. So we're at
this vacation back East a couple of years ago. The
other two children were there, her step children. It was
(15:41):
great to be with everyone. We had so much fun.
Just I have videos of it of her sharing this
part with me that goes down mountains like a roller coaster.
Amused yah, king and swimming and everything together, everybody with
(16:05):
a ball. And she left early, which is a little
suspicious for me. She flew back early while we all
stayed and all the kids, the older ones, younger ones,
and younger ones, came back and we moved into this house,
a rental house, as sort of an emergency because we
sold the other one, but then it didn't sell, so
(16:26):
we waited months for it to sell. So when I
came back, I was starting to get suspicious because I
was noticed in stealing of money. I was noticing obviously
the other things I've described to you. You believe this,
by the way, how many things that she's done, this
good person, It's a lot. So here's what she did next.
(16:52):
This is guided by this leader, you go girl, This
sick femininity. It treats men horribly, horribly. The disrespect for
the sacrifices and the love she described me in those letters,
(17:15):
that is me. Yes, I'll jump the solution. I jump
to forgiveness. I jumped to love. I expressed the love.
No matter how much she's being mean and unkind, I
still become from that loving place. I'm not gonna be
a doormat, obviously, and I do have my reactions, but
that's who I am. It's why we had a great
marriage for a long time. Sees me for who I am.
(17:36):
I see her for she is. I used to just
think that she was anyway. You've heard that before. And
I truly a magnificent human being. So I come back
and we finally sold the house, and it was really
a big bummer. We lost hundreds of thousands on the
(17:58):
deal that the ones backed off, and then suddenly it
was a quiet it was it was just interest rates
all of a sudden went up and said we were
lucky to sell the house at this amount. But it
was a house I bought before I knew her, and
with my ex wife at the time. Tell you about
(18:21):
that x is how how beautiful she is. I gave
her the house. That's what I do. I'm generous. Move
back to this other house, you know, Sherman Oaks and
ways away, still kept I still kept another house nearby
so I could coach the kids and be there for
them at their schools. That made sure that they were
everybody was comfortable. And one day, and I'm proud of
(18:44):
my credit because I come from poverty. I'm proud of
my credit. One day I was at Barney's and I said, here,
here you go, get ten percent off. I get a
new credit card from Barney's and I said, sorry, your decline.
I said, oh, try it again. I was very cocky
with my credit, so proud when I got I remember
when I bought the first house, this other house. My
business manager said, you can have any house you want.
You have great credits. Wow, that's awesome, so wonderful to
(19:06):
feel that that success be able to provide for this family,
this dream family. Right, So dreams are broken a lot.
So that wife from the past, she purposely took my
(19:26):
name and she never took my name off of all
the credit cards and everything else. She purposely ran it
into foreclosure, the house. This is how vindictive she is.
Purposely she told my business manager that vengeful, do anything
to get custody, full custody, anything, she went to any length.
(19:49):
I kept standing there. It was hard, hard not to
attack back when you're all this. And then that was
another thing. Now my credit's down, so she was gonna
have house forecloses. And I didn't want the kids again
to be in more disarray, more chaos, so I bought
the house or from her. So then we move in,
(20:12):
me and Lotus, who are now married, We move in.
She saved the place. We laughed about it to get
the evil spirits out of there because she had a
tough time with her as well, which is amazing how
she's imitating her. Now she's acting like her, knowing the
pain that she put us through, and now she's going
to put me and these kids through the same similar
pain of lies and accusations and bad defamation and all
(20:36):
that she's doing. It's amazing that she went through that,
and it was painful for all of us. So get
the house. Two children born in the house. Home birth
not my jam, but it was hers, a little hippie.
I do bits of my comedy act about it. True
(20:57):
stories and twenty one hours of labor. The midwife asked
said to have sex with her, or I don't get
the baby out. I don't know the kids right there,
I can see them, you know. So well, anyway flooded
the place, you know, because it was a tub and
it got flooded. And then we'd build a beautiful addition
to this house that we had together. It was just amazing,
(21:18):
and there was such a beautiful tub in there that
we gave birth to Chloe in there, our second child.
But then after Chloe came, she got involved with raven
and broke and cult activities and all of this because
she wanted to find herself. She didn't want to just
be a mom. I get it, I get it, I understand.
(21:39):
I have compassion and empathy for it. That's the direction
she took, still not earning her own money. Though own money,
you know, stood in quotes. So I was suspicious when
we sold the house. I just had a little suspicion,
I said. And also she would like criticize me over money.
And I remember when I got a BMW she cried
(22:01):
in the parking lot. Was embarrassing. I remember when I
was buying that house down the Jersey Shore she was
She cried, Then, you know, why would you do this?
You're abusive? You know. She called it abusive, And I said,
something's weird here. So I put us on camera. I
still have the video. I'll show you if you asked me.
(22:23):
I said, Hey, this money that's coming in, let's have
an agreement and unless we agree, we won't spend over.
I think I was seven fifty or something and she
a thousand and anyway she was she you know, protested
a little bit like you know, some other number or whatever.
(22:44):
We're not going to touch this money. We're gonna come
to agreements. Da da da. And we put her all
on video standing in the house that was just sold
empty kitchen there we were, did this video and she
was so cold when she turned to the camera. You
could see the detachment in her eyes. That's where she
can go easily like a criminal. She's like, she's a criminal.
(23:09):
She has no conscience and this unconscious person doesn't care
about me or even the children. At this point because
what she's about to do. She turns in. She says,
we're not going to touch this money. And I agreed too.
I'm not going to is even Stephen. And she convinces
(23:30):
me to sign the title over to her because it
was not in her name because it was bought before.
She convinced me, and I did the honorable thing. This
being honorable, by the way, kind of sucks. Sucks. Hear
what happened with a joint bank account. She made me
open up a joint bank account, which is where the
money went. I went away, I did the Sherry Shepherd Show.
(23:53):
I love Sherry, and she had me on a special
guest and a wonderful time in New York. I see
my friends. I love to go to New York's actually
certain times a year we can just be outside and it's,
you know, just a great time. And I'm literally in
such a great place in my life, a spiritual place.
I was literally calling her with prayers, calling her with affirmations,
(24:16):
calling her with great spirit, and I wasn't hearing back.
So she's going to pick me up at the airport,
which was always a deal that we had. If I'm
going to work so hard, you guys picked me up. Now,
she didn't do it all the time, but she had
an agreement. She's going to pick me up, and I
(24:38):
land the anticipation I'm going to see her after this,
you know, exhausting trip of work and everything, but also
an uplifting trip. I loved hanging with Sherry on this
new television show. It is really cool. And she used
(25:01):
to read your email and I went to my email,
I will not be picking you up at the airport.
What I'm divorcing you. I file for divorce and I
(25:24):
took the kids. She took the kids against their will.
They have no issues with me. They've only had issues
with her. They've only witnessed her violence. I took the kids,
she went to one of her safe houses, didn't tell
me where she was, took their phones. So now I'm
(25:46):
like scrambling, what the hell's going on here? You just
imagine that person. You've pledged to a person, You've given
everything to a person. You've been supportive of, loving of,
supported all of her businesses, even all the failed businesses,
hundreds of thousands of dollars into these businesses, eighty thousand
ripped off on the broke Broke slash Raven thing. Even
(26:09):
more with all the other the crypto and the Mommy Minutes,
and all these investments have been made, the RX to soap,
all those things in the water system by the water
system six thousand dollars. For that coaching program nine thousand dollars.
There's a long supporting of these medicine journeys, two medicine journeys,
which might have even messed up her brain. I don't know.
(26:30):
I didn't even know who the person was. The person
who's a shaman is also a coach, and all these
other things. There's all the craziness that I had to endure.
But I wasn't enduring because I was just going, Oh,
just be supportive. Man. That's where it got me. I
wanted a full panic. You've got to be kidding me.
(26:51):
There's no warning. Come back to the house. It's empty.
I was locked out of the house and one of
my I can't get hold of her. Of course she's
not gonna it's her phone. That's how she operates. I
didn't know where the kids were, so I had to wait,
and I showed up at the drop off place. She's
(27:14):
acting like I'm an abuser because I'm at the drop
off place. Are you kidding me? I went right to
the principal and I told them. Of course, they don't
want to hear that. Both principles. They don't want to
hear the By the way, they're going to think it's
me again. She kidnapped these kids. It's the second time
she's kidnapped them. She did at the time that I
was arrested. She had me arrested on false charges. She
(27:35):
did the same thing, then took them away to an
undisclosed location. Till you're not talking to daddy, I'm taking
your phone. They have no idea. This is what's going
to be in their memories for the rest of their lives.
The embarrassment of me having to show up at school
being kidnapped and taken away from their dad, who they love.
And they've never seen one single issue, and not one
(27:56):
I have them recorded. They told the therapist flat out Mom, Mom,
Mom is the violent one. Mom is the one who
runs away mom's and one doesn't. Dad has never done
any of those things. I'm so happy by the way
that they're at least I have witnesses. I don't want
to subject them to it. I am thinking about even
(28:19):
having them on here. People say putting them in the middle.
There are in the middle. They're in the middle. They're
in pain. They told me tonight about they're upset that
you know, she's telling them about her boyfriend and his
name and all this kind of stuff. When she actually said,
let's not tell them that. You know this. She doesn't
honor one single commitment, and they're not happy with any
(28:43):
of her actions. She was this woman that I read
these notes from. She just gave it one little more
of a try instead of giving up. And I noticed
the pattern again. I see the red flags and paint
them green. She did have a pattern of quitting. We
(29:03):
first got together, I was so, oh my god, I
was so like I my exed before that was never
worked and just was a sponging money and paid her
twelve thousand a month and just just awful. And I
had to spend a million dollars holding on to fifty
percent custody. And then she didn't get one to ounce
more custody because none of it was true. But still
(29:24):
you got to prove it, and that's tough to prove lawyers.
Just all this stuff mess someone to live a happy,
serene life. That's what I thought I was gonna lead
with this life, and we did for a while, even
though we had that other attacking, attacking and attacking that
still went on. I gotta take a breath right now.
(29:47):
I think about it as traumatic. When I got off
that plane and read that email, it was a shock
to my system that I've ever had before. There was
no warning. It's like a bomb went off for all
of us. The kids. I remember their faces when I
(30:10):
sewed up at school. They were embarrassed. And she doesn't care.
She's glueless, she doesn't care, just as that face I
used to call it the face doesn't care about their feelings,
won't listen to them. I said before, when they were
vulnerable and they were in an intervention, she screamed up
and down, scared the hell of them. We just walked
away and got nowhere blaming. She has an excuse for everything.
(30:38):
I used to say a Wizard of Oz. Because because because,
because because she always because, because, because, because, because because
of the awful things he does, because because because everything's
because it's never because of self evaluation, which she did
in these letters, these these I've printed out so their letters,
(30:59):
but these Facebook posts not that long ago, those little
things give you a little hope, you know, go, maybe
she's gonna be restored to sanity. This is insane behavior,
as that you probably would agree, and this is what
happens when you give yourself over to a con artist.
(31:30):
Here's another note that I received Craig, I feel for you.
I met Raven some years ago and her messy, seductive
vibe turned me off. I recognize she's a narcissist, which
just adds to the mess and all the toxicity that
broke still dispenses. Another one says, I just don't get
how they justified in their head. I know Broke doesn't
(31:51):
have a conscience, but I couldn't see that happening with Lotus.
I don't know much about Lotus' past trauma, or even
if it's generational trauma. I'm wondering if she's using Broke's
manipulations as an easy way out. About that. That just
hit me in a different way. Yeah, she'sd an easy
way out. Many couples will tend to work it out,
(32:14):
not just dance out the door. She's not woke as
Broke portrays it. She's blind by the appearance of calling
her shots. There are other people's feedback, and it's very unfortunate.
Once Broke has gotten what she wants, there will be
a trail of lost hope, sad show. There's another one
(32:37):
says she uses the kids' as pawns. This is how
women get power of bed dollars a donut. She's going
to women and portraying you as Og Simpson and she's
the innocent victim. Someone else says that, Yeah, that's part
of the manipulation of a cult. That's what happens. They
demonize someone, they make enemies out of people, They made
(32:58):
an enemy out of me. Someone else says, I'm sorry
your friends are ignoring you and people are treating you
this way. My friend only shared that Lotus said to
them that you are emotionally abusive. I guess emotionally abusive
is me saying, hey, can you tell the truth here?
(33:19):
Can you stop doing this? Can you please? And she says,
I told them I believe you, and I have seen
it for myself, and that Lotus has shifted and she
has fallen to this scam artist. This comes from the
other people unsolicited. It's a list and list of people.
(33:39):
She's ripped some of these people off and her scams. Ah,
she says, uh, this is the me too. Crap. This
is this is a woman says to me and cancel culture.
Men are still on bad women all good. I'm for equality,
but I don't call myself a feminist because so called
(34:00):
feminists do nothing but attack and condemn all men. I
hate seeing this happen. Yes, there are bad guys, but
there are also so many bad women, and people seem
to be blind to that true right, she says. Someone
else says, well, it's so sad. What has this woman
(34:21):
done to Lotus? I wonder why she can't see that
Broke is a sick, twisted person. Even brokes posts are
crazy and incoherent. I hope she can get some help
before this gets any worse, for the sake of the kids.
At least. I'm shocked that she won't even get help
for their sake, even if she doesn't believe she needs it.
(34:45):
She was always so loving and dedicated to them. I'm
actually reading these for the first time in a different space.
It's been a little while since these people wrote this.
Sh oh them. Someone else says that Broke as a monster.
That's what this person says. Here's one See some of
(35:12):
these people were involved with Broke and Mika and the
Lotus anyway, they do these listening calls. This is what
someone else is was pretty much just listening to Broke
brag about herself. I can't see Lotus. Can't believe Lotus
doesn't see through her. Someone else has Broke out here
(35:37):
posting nudes on her public insta. What an exemplary mother
exclamation point, Yeah, she sure is. Another one says Lotus
lost me a while ago. So sorry, Craig, you don't
deserve this. You should cut ties while you still can,
before it's too late. Not being mean, but Lotus is crazy. Sorry.
(36:02):
My son says that Lotuses helped him through trauma, and
he says she's completely gone. I drove her and those
crazy women to the airport. This is the Australia trip,
and I could see it. I try to talk to her,
but broke made Lotus insane. I don't think she'll ever
(36:22):
get help. She's too far gone. I try reaching out there,
but she's a bully when she talks and never listens.
If you ask me to talk to the court, I will.
I will tell them the truth about what Lotus has done.
Another one I says, I don't connect with Lotus. I tried.
I don't think she likes me either. She went into
(36:43):
outer space like totally self engrand eyed. I can't imagine
living with her not being mean. She's all about Lotus.
Another one says, she's traumatizing your children. A lot of concern,
but she's like thirty different people wrote to me. Prepare
for Lotus to lie with abandoned People like this have
(37:06):
no god base. She's in a cult. You can sniff
the stench of greed and selfishness. They despise and devalue men.
I don't know how it is in your home. Well,
we're married, but it must be hard to be her husband.
How is she as a mom? She puts it out
there that she's a single, independent mom, as if you
(37:26):
don't exist. Here's another one that talks about they're in
the water machine business and old broken Lotus didn't help out,
parlor talk, all this kind of stuff. This is called
(37:49):
my wife joined a cult and she did. Other people,
as you can hear, are kids. We've all been affected
by it. It's a tragedy. It takes down a lot
of people. It's like a bomb, and the bomb has
(38:09):
all of this distance that it goes. It's generational. She
hurt these children for a generation by joining up with
this woman, this phony woman, and that became more important.
Next episode, I'm going to read the threats from the
(38:33):
cult leader's Rundel boyfriend, threats that Lotus had him do
to me. Threats. When you hear these things, you might
tell me to go get some protection. We'll leave it
(38:57):
at that. What was a tip for today? Damn it,
I can't remember what my tip was. Maybe I'll just
make you laugh. Maybe I'll just oh, here's my Facebook
post today. This man is a joke. By the way,
a lot of people try to rescue. I get it,
and I do the same thing if I rescuer, but
(39:17):
it never works. So instead of just laughing at the joke,
everybody's going you have to do this, you have to
I'm talking about hundreds of people. Hundreds, oh, just one
hundred and two. Let me not exaggerate. My friends used
to call me divide by two. It's because I everything
is divided by two. So here's my joke, online match
(39:40):
on dating app, getting judgy out of the gate her.
You don't know the difference between your and your me. Oh,
I know the proper use of your as in, you're
just not worth the time it takes for an apostrophe.
I'm sarcastic. But by the way, it never happened. It's
(40:00):
a joke, and everybody says, oh, you need to get
off dating apps, you need to be by yourself and
all this kind of stuff. I'm taking care of myself.
You might hear sadness, you might hear grief, you might
hear any of those things. But I know the children
(40:22):
know I'm a resilient son of a bitch and always
will rise and thrive no matter what there's a little
bit to worry about. But my coach says to me,
with a high vibration, which I go into the high vibration.
It's a really cool this really cool energy, this rarefied air.
(40:44):
And by the way, I welcome anyone to PM me,
DM me if you want to hang in rarefied air.
People that can really uplift one another. That's my message.
Uplift one another, be there for one another. You support system, feedback,
reflect advice. Don't really need that when I try to
(41:06):
come from when I'm giving advice, if you will is
this is what worked for me. These are the things
that work for me. Do with what you want. But
I know from all this gained wisdom in life. These
techniques do work. Did it save my marriage? No, it's
(41:27):
not my marriage to save. I can't save her. I
get that. I can't save her. I can't make her
do anything. If anything, she's going to go backwards. She
did come forward when I did the amends. So it's
a big suggestion. Surrender, surrender the ego, apologize as much
as you can. She's very happy if I appeal to
(41:49):
the ego. Kiss her ass loves it. And that's what
broke does. That's how she lorder in. Somebody who's middle aged, menopause,
has children, doesn't have a job. She used to have
great jobs. By the way, I so admired her. She
(42:10):
was an electrician on movie sets, so that's like really rare.
I remember I did a pilot one time and they're like, oh,
it was familiar girlfriend and said, oh, the boss's girlfriend's
gonna come. And meanwhile by the end of it, they're like,
how do you get in a union? She shows up
with her tool belt. I was so proud of her
that she was. She's been an interpreter. She did the
movie Babble, she did The Girl, the Japanese Girl. She
(42:32):
was an interpreter. She's done documentaries. I was so proud
she did her own documentary. All these things. I remember
the one thing that I really loved about her. She
researched this thing. She had an idea of coming up
with a tea house about environmental environmental sustainability. She even
took a job as like a tea waitress to learn
about making teas, and oh my god, it was so
(42:55):
cool to watch this. But she just couldn't hold on
to any of these identities. She quits all these things.
She quit them all became a mom, which is unbelievable.
What a job that is to be honored, and I
honored her always with that job. Let's sometimes people hit
a point. I get it. Women. At a point agues
think my damn job, the hell with you? And that
(43:16):
my freedom. That's what this broke is pontificating about. It's like, oh,
I'm not just a mom and all this kind of
even though they had mommy minutes that was their thing.
They're going to teach moms how to be moms. Always
cutting the man out like he's not needed, by the way,
and that's another thing I encourage. Please, please, if you're
a woman, please honor the man. Okay, let's drop the history.
(43:44):
There's so many great guys out there. I know them,
I'm one of them. Please let's not try to defame
him to make you feel better about yourself or justify
your actions like she does. She justifies and makes everything
right by these lies. It just tells her it's mountains
and mountains of lives. Now she doesn't even know what
(44:05):
the truth is anymore. So I am going to do
another episode because I do want to reveal with this Rundle.
She hired this guy like a hitman to come after me.
These are actual text messages that I received out of
(44:30):
the blue from a man I never met. We'll get
to that in the next episode.
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