The Craft of the Three Sharpers, from the Thousand and One Nights

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The craft of the three sharpers from the Arabic. There
were in time of yore three sharpers who were wont
every day in early morning to prowl forth and to
pray rummaging among the mounds which outlay the city. Therein
each would find a silver bit of five paras or
its equivalent, after which the trio would foregather and buy

(00:22):
what so sufficed them for supper. They would also expend
two half drums upon vast, which is bong hashish, and
purchase a waxen taper with the other silver bits they
had hired to sell in the flank of a juacalla,
a caravanstree without the walls, where they could sit at
ease to solace themselves and eat their hashish after lighting

(00:43):
the candle, and enjoy their intoxication and consequent merriment till
the noon of night. Then they would sleep again, awaking
at day dawn, when they would arise and seek for
spoil according to their custom, and ransack the heaps, where
at times they would hit upon a silk of five drums,
and at other times a piece of four. And at

(01:04):
even tide they would meet to spend together the dark hours,
and they would expend everything they came by. Every day.
For a length of time they pursued this path until
one day of the days they made for the mounds,
as was their wont, and went round searching the heaps
from morning to evening, without finding even a half pera.

(01:26):
Wherefore they were troubled, and they went away and knighted
in their cell without meat or drink. When the next
day broke they arose and repaired for booty, changing the
places wherein they were wont to forage. But none of
them found aught, and their breasts were straightened for a
lack of a find of durhams wherewith to buy their supper.
This lasted for three full told and following days, until

(01:50):
hunger waxed hard upon them and vexation. So they said,
one to other, go we to the Sultan, and let
us serve him with a slight, and each of us
three shall claim to be a past master of some craft.
Happily a Llah almighty may incline his heart usward, and
he may largesse us with something to expend upon our necessities. Accordingly,

(02:12):
all three agreed to do on this wise, and they
sought the Sultan, whom they found in the palace garden.
They asked leave to go in to him, but the
chamberlain's refused admission. So they stood afar off, unable to
approach the presence. Then, quoth they one to other, twere
better we fall to and each smite his comrade, and

(02:35):
cry aloud and make a clamour, And as soon as
he shall hear us, he will send to summon us. Accordingly,
they jostled one another, and each took to frapping his fellow,
making the wild loud cries. The Sultan, hearing this turmoil, said,
bring me yonder whites, and the chamberlains and eunuchs ran

(02:56):
out to them and seized them and set them between
the hands of the sovereign. As soon as they stood
in the presence, he asked them, what be the cause
of your wrath one against other? They answered, O, King
of the age, We are past masters of crafts, each
of us whiting an especial art. Quoth the Sultan, what

(03:20):
be your crafts? End? Quoth one of the trio, O,
our Lord. As for my part, I am a jeweler
by trade, the King exclaimed, passing strange are sharper and
a jeweler. This is a wondrous matter. And he questioned
the second sharper, saying, and thou the other, what may

(03:40):
be thy craft? He answered, I am a genealogist of
the horse kind. So the king glanced at him in
surprise and said, to himself, a sharper, yet he claimeth
an astounding knowledge. Then he left them and put the
same question to the third, who said to him, Oh,
oh King of the age, Verily, my art is more

(04:02):
wondrous and marvelous than aught thou hast heard from these Twain,
their craft is easy, but mine is such that none
save I can discover the right direction there too, or
know the first of it from the last of it.
The Sultan inquired of him, and what be thy craft?
Whereunto he replied, my craft is the genealogy of the

(04:25):
sons of Adam. Hearing these words, the sovereign wondered with
extreme wonderment, and said in himself, verily he informeth with
his secrets the humblest of his creatures. Assuredly, these men
an they speak truth in all they say, and it
proofs sooth fast are fit for nought except kingship. But

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I will keep them by me until the occurrence of
some nice contingency, wherein I may test them. Then if
they approve themselves good men and trustworthy of word, I
will leave them on life. But if their speech beloved,
I will do them die. Upon this he set apart
for them apartments, and rationed them with three cakes of

(05:07):
bread and a dish of roast meat, and set over
them his sentinels, dreading lest they fly. This case continued
for a while till behold there came to the Sultan
from the land of Ajan a present of rarities, among
which were two gems, whereof one was clear of water
and the other was clouded of color. The Sultan had

(05:28):
them in hand for a time, and fell to considering
them straightly for the space of an hour, after which
he called to mind the first of the three sharpers,
the self style jeweler, and cried, bring me the jeweler man.
Accordingly they went and brought him and set him before
the Sovereign, who asked him, O man, art thou a lapidary.

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And when the sharper answered yes, he gave him the
clear watered stone, saying what may be the price of
this gem? Then the show arper took the jewel in
hand and turned it rightward and leftward, and considered the outside,
and pried into the inside, after which he said to
the Sultan, O, my lord, verily, this gem containeth a

(06:12):
worm bred within the heart thereof Now. When the king
heard these words, he waxed wroth with exceeding wrath, and
commanded the man's head to be stricken off, saying, this
jewel is clear of color and free of flaw or
other default, Yet thou chargest it falsely with containing a worm.
Then he summoned the linkman, who laid hands on the

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sharper and pinioned his elbows and trussed up his legs
like a camel's, and was about to smite his neck,
when behold the Wazir entered the presence, and, seeing the
sovereign in high dudgeon and the sharper under his skiinter
asked what was to do. The Sultan related to him
what had happened when he drew near to him, and said, O,

(06:56):
my lord, act not after this fashion, and thou determine
upon the killing of yonder man. First break the jam,
and if thou find therein a worm, thou wilt know
the White's word to have been veritable but an thou
find it sound, then strike off his head. Right is
thy read quoth the king. Then he took in hand

(07:17):
the gem and smote it with his maze, And when
it brake, behold he found therein the worm amiddlemost thereof.
So he marveled at the sight, and asked the man,
what proved to thee that it harbored a worm? The
sharpness of my sight, answered the sharper. Then the Sultan
pardoned him, and, admiring his power of vision, addressed his attendants, saying,

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bear him back to his comrades, and rash him with
a dish of roast meat and two cakes of bread.
And they did as he bade them. After some time,
on a day of the days, there came to the
king the tribute of a jam land, accompanied with presents,
among which was a colt, whose robe, black as night,
showed one shade in the sun and another in the shadow.

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When the animal was displayed to the Sultan, he fell
in love with it, and set apart for it a stall,
and solaced himself at all times by gazing at it,
and was wholly occupied with it, and sang his praises
till they filled the whole countryside. Presently he remembered the sharper,
who claimed to be a genealogist of the horse kind,
and bade him to be some end. So they fared

(08:29):
forth and brought him and set him between the hands
of the Sovereign, who said to him, art thou he
who knoweth the breed and descent of horses? Yea verily
said the man. Then cried the King. By the truth
of him who sent me upon the necks of his servants,
and who sayeth to a thing be and it becometh.
And I find aught of error or confusion in thy words,

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I will strike off thy head hearkening and obedience, quoth
the sharper. Then I led him to the colt, that
he might consider its genealogy. He called aloud to the groom,
and when they brought him, he bade the man back
the colt for his inspection. So he mounted the animal
and made it pace to the right and to the left,

(09:14):
causing it now to prance and crevett, and then to
step leisurely, while the connoisseur looked on. And after a
time quoth he to the groom. Tis enough. Then he
went in to the presence, and stood between the hands
of the king, who inquired, what hast thou seen in
the colt? O Cashmar, replied the sharper, by allah, O,

(09:36):
King of the age. This colt is of pure and
noble blood on the side of the sire. Its action
is excellent, and all its qualities are praiseworthy, save one,
And but for this one, it had been perfect in
blood and breed, nor had there been on Earth's face
its fellow in horse flesh. But its blemish remaineth a secret.

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The Sultan asked, and what is the quality which thou blamest?
And the sharper answered, Its sire was noble, but its
dam was of other strain. She it was that brought
the blemish. And if thou, o, my lord, allow me,
I will notify it to thee tis well, and needs

(10:20):
must thou declare it quoth? The Sultan then said the sharper,
its dam is a buffalo cow. When the king heard
these words, he was wroth, with wrath exceeding, and he
bade the linkman take the sharper and behead him, crying, oh, dog, oh,
a cursed How can a buffalo cow bear a horse?

(10:40):
The sharper replied, O, my lord, the linkman is in
the presence. But send and fetch him who brought thee
the colt, and of him make inquiry. If my words
prove true and rightly placed, my skill shall be established.
But an they be lise, let my head pay forfeit
for my tongue. Here standeth the linkmen, and I am

(11:02):
between thy hands. Thou hast but to bid him strike
off my head. Thereupon the king sent for the owner
and brai of the colt, and they brought him to
the presence, And the Sultan asked him, saying, tell me
of the truth, Annette, the blood of this colt? Didst
thou buy it or breed it, so that it was

(11:22):
a rearling of thy homestead? Said he, by allah, O
King of the age, I speak not which is not sooth,
For indeed there hangeth by this colt the strangest story.
Were it graven with graver needles upon the eye corners,
it had been a warning to whoso would be warned.
And this it is. I had a stallion of purest strain,

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whose sire was of the steeds of the sea, and
he was stabled in a stall apart for fear of
the evil eye. His service being entrusted to trusty servants.
But one day in springtide, the Zeis took the horse
into the open and allowed him to mate with a
buffalo cow she conceived by him, And when her days

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were completed and her throwing time came, she suffered sore
pains and bare yonder colt. And all who have seen
it or have heard of it, were astounded, said he presently,
adding by allah, O King of the age, had its
dampen of the mare kind, the colt would have had
no equal on Earth's surface, or aught approaching it. Hereat

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The Sultan took thought and marveled. Then, summoning the sharper,
he said to him when present, O man, thy speech
is true, and thou art indeed a genealogist in horseflesh,
and thou wottest it well. But I would know what
proved to thee that the damn of this colt was
a buffalo cow, said he, O King, My proof thereof

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was palpable, nor can it be concealed from any wight
of right wits and intelligence and special knowledge. For the
horse's hoof is round, while the hoofs of buffaloes are
elongated and duck shaped, and hereby I kend that his
cold was a jumart, the issue of a buffalo cow.
The Sultan was pleased with his words, and said, rash

(13:13):
him with a plate of roast meat and two cakes
of bread. And they did as they were bidden. Now,
for a length of time, the third charper was forgotten,
till one day the Sultan bethought him of the man
who could explain the genealogy of Adam's sons. So he
bade fetch him, And when they brought him into the presence,
he said, thou art he that knowest the caste and

(13:35):
descent of men and women? And the other said yes.
Then he commanded the eunuchs take him to his wife
and place him before her, and cause him declare her genealogy.
So they led him in and set him standing in
her presence, and the shopper considered her for a while,
looking from ray to left. Then he fared forth to

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the Sultan, who asked him what has now seen in
the queen? Answered he, O, my Lord, I saw a
somewhat adorned with loveliness and beauty, and perfect grace, with
fair stature of symmetrical trays, and with modesty and fine manners,
and skillful cays. And she is one in whom all

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good qualities appear on every side, nor is aught of
accomplishments or knowledge concealed from her, and happily in her
center all desirable attributes nath the less o king of
the age. There is a curious point that dishonors her,
from the which were she free, none would outshine her
of all the women of her generation. Now, when the

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Sultan heard the words of the sharper, he sprang hastily
to his feet, and, clapping hand upon hilt, bared his
brand and fell upon the man, purposing to slay him.
But the chamberlains and the eunuchs prevented him, saying, O,
our Lord, kill him not until his falsehood or his
fact shall have been made manifest to thee. The Sultan

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said to him, what then appeared to thee and my queen?
She is fairly fair, said the man, But her mother
is a dancing girl, a gipsy. The fury of the
king increased. Hereat and he sent to some in the
inmates of his harem, and cried to his father in law,
unless thou speak me sooth concerning thy daughter and her descent,

(15:23):
and her mother. Aye, he replied by allah, O, King
of the Age, nought sameth a man save soothfastness. Her
mother was indeed a Gazia. In past time, a party
of the tribe was passing by my abode, when a
young maid strayed from her fellows and was lost. They

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asked no questions concerning her. So I lodged her and
brought her in my homestead, till she grew up to
be a great girl and the fairest of her time.
My heart would not brook her wiving with any other,
so I wedded her, and she bare me this daughter
whom thou, O King, has espoused. When the Sultan heard
these words, the flame in his heart was quenched, and

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he wondered at the subtlety of the sharper man. So
he summoned him and asked him, saying, O, wily one,
tell me what certified to thee that my queen had
a dancing girl, a gipsy to mother. He answered, O,
King of the Age, Verily, the Gazia raise hath eyeballs
intensely black and bushy brows, whereas other women than the

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Gazia have the reverse of this. On such wise, the
King was convinced of the man's skill, and he cried
ration him with a dish of roast meat and two scones.
They did as he bade, and the three sharpers tarried
with the Sultan a long time, till one day when
the King said to himself, verily, these three men have,

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by their skill solved every question of genealogy which I
proposed to them. First, the jeweler proved his perfect knowledge
of gems. Secondly, the genealogist of the horse kind showed
himself as skillful. And the same was the case with
the genealogist of mankind, for he discovered the origin of
my queen, and the truth of his words appeared from

(17:09):
all quarters. Now tis my desire that he do the
same with me, and that I also may know my providence. Accordingly,
they set the man between his hands, and he said
to him, O, fellow, hast thou the power to tell
me mine origin? Said the sharper, Yes, O, my Lord,
I can trace thy descent. But I will do so

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only on a condition, to wit that thou promised me safety.
After what I shall have told thee For the soul saith.
Whilst Sultan sitteth on the throne where his despite inasmuch
as none may be contumacious when he saith smite. Thereupon
the Sultan told him, thou hast a promise of immunity,

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a promise which shall never be false. And the man said, O,
King of the age, when as I acquaint thee with
thy route and branch, let it be between us twain
lest these present hurrahs. Wherefore o man asked the Sultan,
And the sharper answered, O, my Lord Allah the almight

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hath among his names the Veilor Wherefore the king bade
his chamberlains and eunuchs retire, so that none remained in
the place save those two. Then the sharper came forward
and said, O, my lord, thou art not the son
of a king. As soon as the king heard these words,

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his case changed, and his color waxed whan, and his
limbs fell loose. He foamed at the mouth, He lost
hearing and sight. He became as one drunken without wine,
and he fell fainting to the ground. After a while
he recovered and said to the Sharper, now, by the
truth of him who hath set me upon the necks

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of his servants, and thy words be veritable, and I
ascertain their sooth by proof positive, I will assuredly abdicate
my kingdom and resign my realm to THEE, because none
deserveth it save thou, and it becometh us least of
all endevy. But an I find thy speech lying, I
will slay THEE. He replied, hearing and obeying, and the sovereign,

(19:26):
rising up, without stay or delay, went inside to his
mother with a grip on glave, and said, to her,
by the truth of him who uplifted the sky above
the earth, And thou answer me not with the whole truth?
In whatso I ask THEE? I will cut THEE to
little bits with this blade. She inquired what dost thou

(19:48):
want with me? And he replied, whose son am I?
And what may be my descent? She rejoined, Although falsehood
be an excuse, a fact in truth are superior and
more saving. Thou art indeed the very son of a cook.
The sultan that was before THEE took me to wife.

(20:08):
But we had no issue, and he would mourn and
groan from the core of his heart for that he
had no seed, nor girl, nor boy. Neither could he
enjoy aught of sweet food or sleep. Now it chanced
that the wife of the kitchener bare him a boy,
and I prevailed upon her to keep the birth secret.
And my woman brought the child to me and spread

(20:30):
abroad that at last an air was come. Now, at
that time the Sultan was hunting and birding, and enjoying
himself about the gardens. And when the bearer of good
news went to him and announced the birth of a
man child, he hurried back to me, and forthright bade
them decorate the capital. And he found the report true.

(20:52):
So the city adorned itself for forty days in honor
of its king. Such is my case and my tale.
Thereupon the king went forth from her to the sharper
and bade him doff his dress, And when this had
been done, he doffed his own raiment and habited the
man in royal gear, and hooded him with a taliesan,

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and asked him, saying, what proof hast thou of my
being base born? The sharper answered, O, my lord, my
proof was thy bidding our being rationed after showing the
perfection of our skill with a dish of roast meat
and two scones of bread, whereby I knew thee to
be of cook's breed, for the kings be wont in

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such case to make presents of money and valuables, not
of meat and bread, as thou didst. And this evidenced
THEE to be no king's son, but a cook's son.
He replied, sooe thou sayest, and then robed him with
the rest of his robes, including the calan sua or

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royal head dress under the hood, and seating him upon
the throne of his estate, went forth from him, after
abandoning all his women to him, and assumed the garb
of a d'arwige, who wondered about the world, and formally
abdicated his dominion to his successor. But when the sharper
king saw himself in this condition, he reflected and said

(22:18):
to himself some and thy wilhelm comrades, and see whether
they recognized thee or not. So he caused them beset
before him, and conversed with them. Then, perceiving that none
knew him, he gifted them and sent them to gain
their gait. And he ruled his realm, and bade and forbade,
and gave and took away, and was gracious and generous

(22:41):
to each and every of his lieges, so that the
people of that region, who were his subjects, blessed him
and prayed for him.