I Am Reality Called Imagination - Neville Goddard

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Will be here every Monday and Friday through April, same place,
same time. I think you will find tonight a very
practical message. But to understand it we must go back
and see if you really believe the same thing. I

(00:24):
make the claim that the eternal body of man is
the imagination, and that is God himself, the one we
speak of in Scripture as Jesus Christ. Now we are
told in Scripture to examine ourselves to see whether we

(00:48):
are holding to the faith test yourselves, said, Paul, do
you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you, unless,
of course, you fail to meet the tests. Now you've
just had the test, and you and you alone can

(01:10):
judge whether you've failed or not. For you heard the
word Jesus Christ. You heard the word God. Now if
it conveyed the sense I would existence something outside of man,
you fail the test. If when you hear the word God,

(01:32):
or the word Jesus, or the word Christ, the word Lord,
and the mind jumps to something outside of you, outside
of man, you fail the test. Now we are told
by Him all things were made, and without him was
not anything made that was made. And that I tell

(01:57):
you is your own wonderful human in what is now
proved in the world was one's only imagined. But this
is the greatest of all secrets, the secret of imagining
something that you and I in every one in the

(02:18):
world should strive to understand. For the secret of imagining
is the greatest of all problems, to the solution of
which everyone should aspire or supreme power, supreme wisdom, supreme
delight lies in the solution of this mystery. When you

(02:44):
actually discover it, you discover God. You're finding the creative
power of the universe. And when you're finding He is
your own wonderful human imagination. You can only rarely scratch
the surface of this, mister one, imagination, it seems, will

(03:08):
do little for our wish until we have imagined the
wish fulfilled. As Shakespeare said, it hath been taught us
from the primal state, that that which is was wished

(03:29):
until it were So. You and I want something, and
we define our objective how to realize it. If this
power is within us, then we are the opera and power.
We do not seek anyone on the outside. It's simply
within us. Well, how do I operating? If I could

(03:52):
put it in this simple little frame, The subjective appropriation
of the objective hope is the way to success. It's
imagining as if it were true. What would the feeling
be like if it were true. So I start from

(04:13):
the feeling of the wish fulfill I must begin by
feeling that I have already arrived, I have already achieved
my goal. And catch the mood that would be mine
if it were true, and then wear that mood. If

(04:34):
I wear that mood as if it were true, I
realized that in my world a friend of mine was
her tonight she thought that she had failed. This passed
November in her visit to Poughkeepsie fitz Pittsburgh, friends of

(04:58):
hers that she knew where, and they were a little
bit dull because of the seeming recession. One Trend had
worked for twenty seven years at Jones and Lachlan, one
of the great big steel firms of our country. In
the months of September and October they let out four

(05:22):
thousand workers. He had to put in three more years
three years and two months to complete a thirty year
service with the firm. After thirty years, he could retire
of very good I would say retirement fun. But he
also had six more years ago for his social security,

(05:45):
and then at out four thousand and then it was
rumored in the plant that they're going to close that plant.
She reminded him of the youth of imagination, which he
had used with him successfully in her previous visit to Pittsburgh,
but he left it off. Those things would have happened anyway.

(06:10):
She reminded him of six distinct request on his spot
that he thought he could not realize. Everyone came to
pass as she reminded him, and then she took a
vision of mine and explained it to him. She said,
what I told you the last time, never had a vision. Well,

(06:34):
the Bible tells us that the depths of our own
beings speaks to us through the medium of dreams and viition.
So here in this dream of mind for the dream,
if you will, it was just as real as this.
I was taken in spirit into an enormous mansion, and

(06:56):
here three generations were present. But why was invisible? And
that was the grandfather. The father was explaining to his
children the secret of his own father's success. So there
was the grandfather that departed from the world, leading behind

(07:18):
him an enormous fortune for the benefit of his son,
and then his grandchildren, And so the father said to
the children. Grandfather used to say, while standing on an
empty lot, I remember when this was an empty lot.
Then he would paint a word picture so vividly of

(07:43):
what he intended to do with that empty lot that
it ceased to be an empty lot. And you saw
the structure that he intended to biddle. But he acted
as though it was already a completed act. He began
with the feeling of having arrived at his ideal for

(08:04):
that empty lot. Then I awoke on my bed, and
I recall the dream, and I knew that the depth
of my own being had constructed that scene to instruct me.
There is one facet of the great use of this

(08:26):
power called imagination, which is God. It was too early
to rise, so I went back to sleep, and I
redreamed the dream. This time I am the grandfather. I
am not the father telling the story. I am not
an eavesdropper listening to the story as it was told

(08:49):
in the original dream. I am now the grandfather, and
I would say to everyone, by standing on an empty lot,
I remember when this was an empty lot. So she
reminded him of this technique. Now she said, you are

(09:09):
afraid that you might be let out. After twenty seven
years and two months in Jones and Loughlin, I will
now remember when you were afraid. I will remember when
you thought it all came to an end. That's one

(09:34):
he said. Two years ago, I was interviewed, and I
thought it a very good interview. But after two years
it is never a player in the trade paper, and
I wondered, what have they done with it? Have they
simply forgotten it, mislaid it, or deliberately not used it?
She said, I will read that magazine and I'll be

(09:58):
lifted up by it. It's hereously written, as you tell me. Well,
I will take that book right now in my hand
at magazine and I will read it all about you.
She went into two or three others. Then she returns.
Now she's here to night, he said. In December, I
received the magazine. It's very well written and very very humorous,

(10:24):
all about this man. Then she said, I heard on
the radio that Jones and Rockman had decided not to
close the plant but instead to spend thirteen million dollars
on the planet in modernizing and then, beginning January, the

(10:46):
first to with Paul to recall over four thousand workers
that they had let out. Now he is walking on air,
but like all of these dollars, he will still forget it.
You still turned to a god outside of himself. This

(11:07):
to him would have happened anyway. There would have spink
that thirteen million got back the four thousand, that thing
that was found after two years, and printed, Oh, that
would have happened. And man goes blindly on worshiping a
false God because he does not know God. The only

(11:30):
God is your own wonderful human imagination. The only name
forever and forever that is his name is I Am.
So that is my name forever. So when you come
to the people of Israel and they ask you what
is his name, justin't be saying I Am. That is

(11:53):
who I am, and by this name I shall be
known throughout all generations. There is no other name. You
cannot separate I AM from yourself. That's your essential being.
And when you say I am your all imagination. You
cannot stick imagination on the outside and point to it.

(12:16):
So you do not observe it as you observe the
fruit of imagining. You do not observe imagination as you
do objects in space because you are the reality that
is called imagination. This is what we teach here night
after night. Now you contest it. What would the feeling

(12:40):
be like if it were true that I am now
the man that I would like to be. What would
the feeling be like? That's the mood, for the mood
determines the fortunes of people. Rather than the fortunes determine
the mood and put to just the opposite. If I
had a million, he said, I will feel so good.

(13:02):
Now see it as if you had it. Catch the mood,
and the mood will create that objective hope. If that
is your hope, What would the feeling be like if
you are now the person you want to be? And
catch that mood and wear that mood as you would

(13:22):
have stood of clothes, and that mood will actually create
an objective state that reflects that mood. That's what she did.
She put herself into a mood, actually feeling that you
was reading a story of a friend, and here it
came is a complete spread, two full pages all about

(13:44):
this man, and then a little news bulletin on the radio,
and then confirmation from him on a telephone call from
his wife confirming the news bulletin that they're all back
on the I'm here now, as he said for years.
After twenty seven years, I walked through that plant, I

(14:07):
thought I'll go crazy. I wanted to climb the wall
because of the noise. But I heard the hammers and
the bellows and the furnaces and all these thousands of
workmen that constant, constant, din. I want to climb the wall. Now,
after four thousand were let out, my footsteps echoes through

(14:31):
the entire area. I would like to run and scream,
running towards my office. What he does in the plant,
I do not know if he goes towards his office,
And doubt he has an executive position in that place,
and it's not working at the furnaces. But so you
can't imagine, and four thousand were let out, how empty

(14:53):
the place was, and everything simply echoed, and my footsteps
seemed like some hundred things as I walked through that
plant towards my aupue, and many a moment I wanted
the simply jump up and start running. It seems so empty.
She says, all right, that's something I will remember when
and she applied that technique when your footsteps scared you

(15:17):
and you wanted to run towards the office. Now it's
the clackap all over again. So I tell you I
know from my own experience that these moods you catch
a mood. I could tell from the mood that possessed
me through the day that I would meet a certain character.
And I met that character. It may be someone I

(15:39):
knew or some total stranger, but I could tell from
the very mood that possessed me, I am drawing into
my world an affinity with that mood. You can catch
a mood and create the world that is in harm
me with the mood. Anyone can do it. In fact,
you're doing it morning, noon and night anyway. So when

(16:01):
you turn to some external god, you are turning to
a false god. There is no external god. Examine yourselves,
said Paul the Seaweller. You are holding to your faith
tests yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is
in you, unless indeed you fail to meet the tests.

(16:25):
You've just had the tests. So if you think of
some being on the outside, but I use the word
Jesus Christ, you have the wrong Jesus Christ. Or we're
told by him all things were made, and without him
was not anything made that is made. Look into the room.
All this was once only imagined. That suit you wear,

(16:46):
the dresses you wear, the hat you wear. Everything here
the building is once only conceived in the human imagination
and then executing. And if all things were made by him,
well did I first come down to find out who
he is? I can't go beyond my own imagination. I
exactly what I imagine. I see the results, So I

(17:10):
go back All things made by him? Yes, good, bad,
and indifferent. He waits on me just as quickly and
just as indifferently when the will in me is evil
as when it is good. Is that in scripture? You'll
find it inscription. Read it in the Book of Deuteronomy.

(17:30):
I call I make a lie, I wound, I heal,
and none can deliver out of my hands. I I
am the Lord. Read it. See that in the thirty
second chapter of the Book of Deuteronomy. There is no

(17:52):
other God. I am the Lord, your God, And besides me,
there is no other God. I am is that God.
And if you're told he the forty six song, be
still and know that I am God. A man who
will not believe it. And yet he has evidence morey,

(18:14):
noon and night that his own wonderful creative power, which
is his own wonderful human imagination, is producing the phenomena
of life. He sees it all around him, but he
shuns it away. It's easier for him to genuine likely
for some little thing made by the human hand. So
he put him on the wall and cross himself for luck.

(18:37):
I think, oh, that's it, that's good. Now've done my
duty today. So he goes to church and he sings
the hymns with all the others. And if he's not
done my duty and give generousy to the church perfectly,
all right. If you get any pressure out of it,
do it. But that's not serving the true God. If
you want a social gathering, certainly go to church, go

(18:59):
to the coffee break following the service, and as one
percent of those who come out of service, what was
the text today? And he will look at you with
some breaker, Look what what was the text? What did
he say? What was the theme of his subject? Today?
They don't know. But it's a place to go on

(19:21):
certain days of the year, especially on Christmas, on Eastern
and days of that nature. Others make it an appointed
go once a week. The thing they're doing God a favor.
You're walking with God morning, noon and night. You're taking
to bate with you because You're essential being is God,

(19:41):
and there is no other God. Were He not within you, you
couldn't even breathe. Your breath is God. Every child, God
or woman is God incarnate. If men only knew that,
there could be no war in the world. Killing man
is killing God. For every child born a woman is

(20:04):
the incarnation of God. Whether you be black, yellow, pink, white,
or any other car there is no other being in
this world but God. So the incarnation takes place every
time a little child is born, and it wreathes and
you spank it to get it to cry. That moment
was the incarnation of God. How can you kill him?

(20:27):
How can you heard it? Just teach him and show
him what power is latent within him. For the whole
vast world aches for the awakening of the imagination in man.
And the story has told us in scripture is a
true story, but not as it stole. The day will

(20:48):
come you'll actually find yourself reenact the entire drama as
told us in the Gospel, and you will know it
in the first person. Thinking of intense experience, and then
you'll know who he is. He comes to us as
one unknown, yet one who in the most wonderful, mysterious manner,

(21:14):
lets man experience who he is. And when you experienced
who he is, it's all about you. It's not about another.
The whole vast drama is all about the individual that
you see as a little child right in this wonderful
world of our us. But here tonight, let us keep

(21:35):
it on this level, and on this level tonight, when
you dream of some wonderful objective is this world that
is not yet realized, realize who the dreamer is. And
the dreamer is God. And by a dreamer, I'm in
your own wonderful imagination. Now a day dream. That's God.
That's God in action. Now, do not let your reason

(21:58):
and your senses dictate what is possible. All things are
possible to God. So suspain for a moment your reason.
Suspain the senses that are dictating what you must accept
for their demanding of you. Accept the facts of life,
all right. If you could accept the facts of life

(22:20):
and let reason dictate it, you'll never go beyond where
you are. So suspain them, just for a moment, and
try this tecontyque. What would the feeling be like? How
would I feel if they were true that I am
already the man that I would like to be? And
if I am, how would I see my friends? And

(22:41):
how would they see me? It's all within us. So
let my wonderful human imagination see them as they would
have to see me if it were true. Bring into
my mind's eye and let them see me, and let
them talk to me, and let them congratulate me on
my good fortue. And don't duck accept the congratulations of

(23:03):
your friends if you really mean it, actually play the
part all within yourself, and then believe it one hundred
as if we are told in John's letter the fifth
chapter of his Purse Epistle, if we believe that he

(23:24):
hears this is all that we ask of him, then
we know that we have obtained the request made of him.
What if you get the right guard, you have no
doubts in your mind as to whether he heard you
or not, for you know you heard it, and that's God.

(23:45):
But if you're not quite sure that he heard it,
because there are three billions talking to him baking, well,
then you may be not quite sure that he heard
you and you don't think you're good enough, But you
can't deny that. You hear your own mind, You hear
your own inner conversation, you hear your own inner speech. Well,
if you know that one is God, whether you are

(24:07):
sure he hurts you, now you are told in that
fifth chapter, the fifteenth verse, our first epistle of God.
If we know that he hears us in all that
we ask of him, then we know that we have
already obtained the request made of him. Well, all right,

(24:28):
there's an interval between that imaginal act and its fulfillment,
as there is between the creative act of a man
and the birth of that child. Every little thing has
an interval of time between the act and its fulfillment.
A horse will take twelve months, a woman takes nine months,

(24:52):
the little sheep will take five months. A chicken will
take twenty one days. Intervals of time, so the Bible teaches,
every vision has its own appointed hour. It ripens, it
will flower. If it be late, then wait for it
is sure, and it will not be late. Different intervals

(25:17):
of time, So it may take me a longer time
in this case, with this man two months to bring
back four thousands who were unemployed, to put his mind
at rest that he doesn't have now to feel that
he's going to be fired. He's going to put in
out the extra time only a little while. Three years

(25:41):
and two months will complete his thirty years with Jones
and Laughlin, and then once a man of his age,
six more years and then social Security, so he'll have both.
If it happened now, he wouldn't have it. He will
be cut on social Security and he would be let
out without a good retirement fun. So she goes back

(26:07):
and she reminds him that it happened before. She couldn't
afford the roof for the house, and she said, I
will see the roof on the house. I remember when
it needed a root, And so she simply remembered. She
told him, I recalled telling you. I remember Wayne, he
needed it. But soon after something happened in his work.

(26:27):
He got the money and the roof is on. The
wife wanted an organ. Couldn't afford the organ, all right,
She said, I remember when you didn't have one. She
has the organ, and she took one after the other.
Of all these things, he's still with all the evidence
in the world, he's still working on some outside God

(26:50):
he thinks he's doing the wrong thing. He feels that
if per chance that man is simply a devil incarnate,
and he's taken me from my real guard, which means
something external to himself, that he fashions out of his
own mind and fashions with his hand to get all
these little nonsenses that you buy and stick them up
as holy objects. First of all, no artists really ever

(27:13):
designed them, they said, a sense to speak of an
artist when you see these horrible monstosophies that we buy
and stick around the place and call them religious objects.
So find who he is. He is the living God.
He is a dead god. You want to find me

(27:35):
The one hundred and fifteenth Psalm about the kind of
gods that main worship. The whole psalm is devoted to
the false God that the whole vast world worships. He
had eyes, but he sees, not Anthony, hears, not he
any walks, not Anthony, touches not just a dead thing

(27:58):
made by human hands. When the living God is within
man as his own wonderful human imagination. So I tell
you that all that you behold, though it appairs without, it,
is within in your own wonderful human imagination, of which
this world of mortality is but a shadow. All things

(28:21):
exist in the human imagination, and everything you see as
an objective reality was produced by imagining. Think of one thing,
just think of one thing that would simply deny it.
You can't think of one thing, So you go to
the moon. You first had to imagine it, had to

(28:43):
imagine everything concerning the machine that took you to the moon.
Everything in the world first has to be imagined. And
then execute it. All right, the intelligence that do it
will come, But you take the glop in first and
conceive it and dwelling it as though it were true,
and no power on earth can stop it from becoming self.

(29:08):
Your visions will clarify itself. At night. It's a different
kind of a night. Your days are different. You see
people differently. You can't walk by any man and not
seeing God incarnate can't do it. Even if he has
the most horrible background, and he said simply, well a murderer,

(29:28):
and it's proven that he is. You still see God incarnate.
But so some desleep the poor thing doesn't know it.
Can only just get to it and show him that
he really is God incarnate and the one he thought
he killed. He's been restored to life, not to the
saints of men, but he is restored in a world

(29:50):
just like this, to restore just like this about his business.
He continues his words until he too awakens from this
dream of life. We all will awaken eventually, But why
not start now, Start now to tell man who he
really is. God and man are one. Man is all imagination,

(30:15):
and God is mad and exists in us and we
in him. The eternal body of man is the imagination
that is God himself, nothing but God in the universe,
all God. And eventually you and I will awake Because

(30:35):
God is one, not two. You and I are one
without loss of identity. That's one of the faintest misfeas
in the world. Without loss of identity. We are one.
I know that from my own personal experience. We are one.

(30:55):
And yet I am individualized and you are individualized, and
retain forever and forever toward over greater and greater individualization.
And yet we are one. And I will bring that
out to the best viability as we seed with these

(31:15):
sective you will hear it. But tonight, if you're here
for the first time and you want something practical. You
apply what I've told you. First, have an objective. You
must have an objective. You can't say, well I don't

(31:36):
know what I want? Well, all right, come back the
next time. Ask yourself what would I like of life?
Don't be ashamed to name it? What would I like
of life? Well, then finally get some objective. Now, prayer,
As far as I'm concerned, is nothing more than the
subjective appropriation of the objective. Hope that is the way

(32:01):
to success. I appropriate it subjectively. How do I appropriate
a state subjectively? But I suppose now at this very moment,
I wanted a ball, an ordinary baseball. But there isn't
a baseball in the room, all right, but I want one.
I would actually assume that I am holding a baseball

(32:23):
in my hand until I could feel it. You think
you can't feel it while out fly it. Try to
feel what it would be like if you held a baseball.
Now to prove that you have held it, See what
it feels like. The difference now a tennis ball, skinny difference,

(32:47):
or write a golf ball, shiny difference, a piece of silk?
You feel any difference if you can distinguish between these
many objects, though they are subjective, then there must exist
some where. If you could actually separate them in your
mind's eye and distinguish between these objicts, I can begin

(33:08):
to feel, begin to sense, begin to smell. A rose, Well,
a rose doesn't smell or doesn't actually have the odor
of another flower. I can detect the rose. Now a lily,
an easter lily, I can detect that. But what does

(33:28):
it do. Well, I'm going to get them shown. One
must be of Nevil and send him a flower, and
let's go be the flower. If I'm going to actually
feel and touch and smell, it works that way. Money
has an odor. It's unlike any other of the world.

(33:48):
Is more fragrant to the miser than the most marvelous
perfume in the world. He can tell it. You put
the money back to his pace, and it's like putting
roses to my He loved it. He can smell, money
can feel it. Money has a distinct feel about it.
Put a twenty dollars bill in your hand and ask

(34:10):
you to feel it, and then put another piece of
paper in your hand, and you can tell the difference.
That's the difference. It is an odor to it all.
This is part of the inner man that all things
are possible to him. Try it before you condemn it.
Try it unless you have the evidence of support my claim.
But then it doesn't matter what the world will tell

(34:32):
you if he laughs at you. So what so the
last of everyone who had an idea that seemed a
little bit off center always that at him. The last
of the idea of going to the moon. Well, now
it's an accomplished fact. There's still those who won't believe
it happened, you know, because they don't want to believe

(34:52):
it ever happened to those who said you couldn't go
down and actually live underwater, and we have a there
are still those who won't believe it. You can present
them with all the facts in the world and they
won't believe it. So I tell you you try it first,
and that to prove itself in performance. It doesn't really

(35:15):
matter what the whole bad world takes. Go about your
father's business, visuons yourself, and then live a full and
wonderful life in this world of Caesar. And the day
will come you will actually depart this world. I mean
this age because those who are departing it now, unless
they are awakened, they still find themselves in a world

(35:38):
just like this. But those who have awakened, who have
experienced the second birth to burst them about, find themselves
in an entirely different age where they're all imagination and
they are perfect. Wherever they go, everything is perfect. They
don't have to raise a finger to make anything perfect

(36:00):
because they're perfect. All things must conformed to them for
their perfect that's heaven. So heaven is not an area,
it's not a realm. It's a body. And when that
body is awakened within you, which is the wonderful human imagination,
completely awake, then wherever you go, clothed in that body

(36:21):
that is completely awake, everything is perfect. If you found
yourself in a forest of dead trees that all burst
into foliage in the desert, it would all bloom like
the rose because you are there. No blind man, deaf man,

(36:42):
no handicapped man could stand in your presence. You'd be
instantly transformed into a perfect man because you are perfect.
Death heaven it's harmony. So it's not a place where
you're going to go through these streets and all that nonsense. No,
it simply you in a world that is perfect because

(37:03):
you are perfect, and the day will come. You will
awaken that body, for itinin you. Now that body is
in you, but it's sun asleep. One day you will
experience the resurrection. And you know the mystery of the
resurrection when you rise, and you rise within yourself. For

(37:26):
the grave in which Christ is varied, if the Lord
is veried, is your own SCLM. That's where he is buried,
and in that tomb where he is very One day
he will awake and he will come out of that tomb,
and it's you who comes out of the two, and
you'll know who you are. He is buried in every

(37:50):
child in the world, this universal being, and yet one
billions dovas, and yet only one Lord, that one Lord,
in his fullness, is buried in you individually. And when
you awaken, you are here. Go tonight. Take a goal.

(38:14):
Make it a lovely girl, either for yourself or for another.
Anytime that you exercise your imagination lovingly on behalf of another,
you're mediating God to that other. So bring a friend
before your mind's eye, representing to yourself as the man
or the woman that you will like them to be.

(38:34):
And don't tell them as for no praise. Just assume
that they're talking to you and telling you the most
marvelous views about themselves, and you congratulate them on that
good news and go your own way. Believe in the
reality of that imaginal act. It may happen tomorrow, it

(38:56):
may happen a day after, or a week later or
a month later. It has its own appointed hour, and
it is rightening and it's wont to flower, So don't
be concerned. Leave it alone, and it will come to pass.
So this is what I mean by feeling is the
secret I catch the mood, the feeling that will be

(39:20):
mine if I were what I want to be. I
don't have to touch something I can if I want to.
But it's the move I'm speaking of. What would the
feeling be like if she were well? If she were this?
And then you catch it? Just as though it is true,

(39:41):
you always go to the end, and the end is
where you begin. You're always imagining ahead of our evidence.
So go to the end and feel the end, and
then well in that end, even though reason denies it,
and your senses denial, you turn your back upon the doubts.

(40:01):
That is your senses and what reason dictates. That's the
hell or the devil or satan in the world. That's
the doubta. So you turn your back upon it, and
then you walk as though things were as you wantn't
to be, And living in that assumption, it slowly hardens
into fact, even though at the moment of the assumption

(40:22):
it was denied by reason and assumption. Though false, if
persisted in, will harden into fact. So you learn to assume,
and learn to persist in the assumption, and it will
come to pass. Now let us go into the silence,
after which we'll have questions. Good but I hope you

(41:45):
call it good mood. It'll work now, are there any questions? Please?
Any questions? Hm? Yes, sir. Well to answer your question,

(42:17):
I must just go back and explain it to those
who are here for the first time. No, no, no, no.
I make the statement based upon my own experience. And
nothing dies. That's not only true of man, it's true
of the flowers, of the animal world, of the trees,
of everything. Nothing dies. I am the god of the living,

(42:40):
not of the dead. So nothing dies. The little flower
that blooms once blooms forever. It's renewed by the seed
of contemplated. Not for I had a wonderful friend and secretary.
He died suddenly at the age of fifty when I
was out there. Lived in New York City. He was

(43:02):
born in Haverstall, New York, which is upstate New York.
He lived in Manhattan and took care of my books
and took care of all of my business affairs. When
I got a cable saying that he was dead, they
found his body on the floor the next morning where
they went in to clean, and I must come back
and take care of the funeral affairs. So I went back.

(43:26):
I have two sister in law. My wife is one
of three girls. The other two are pillars of the
Episcopal Church, the older the two lives in Sabbath, New Jersey.
And she's always said to me, you know, I like
your personally as the brother in law, because you're kind
to my sister and to your child, and for that

(43:50):
I like you. But I don't believe one word you
talk about. That's not my God. I said, all right,
I don't believe in immortality, don't believe in survival. I said,
you call yourself a Christian, so what has that to
do with it? I said, did you realize that the

(44:11):
Christian foundation is the fatherhood? Of God, the brotherhood of man,
and life everlasting. You are one of these and it's
going to collapse now. She didn't say a word. I
still don't believe what you teach totally. All right. Well,
he died in August. I went back into care of
the funeral. In the next year, I presume around January

(44:37):
or February. I found myself consciously in that world where
Jack is. I do it time and time again. This
does not restrain me. I can put it on her
bed and find myself in another world. It isn't aware.
It's right there. They're penetrating each other and yet no

(45:00):
interfering with each other. And here is Jack, and here
is my sister in law. L I call her he
her name is Alice. And I said. She said to me,
I still don't believe what you teach you now, how
can you say that when you see Jack? She did,
what has yet to do with it? I said, don't

(45:20):
you know that Jack died? Jet then spoke to me,
who's dead? I said, you aren't day, Jack, but you die.
I went to your funeral. I payed for it. I
got a good Catholic funeral, Jack, because your sister insisted
that you must be giving a nice Catholic tuneral. But
I didn't cremate you. I put you in holy ground, Jack,

(45:43):
I got a priest, and a priest did all the
little things he has to do, so you're very well planted.