April 15, 2025 • 54 mins
Our guest:
Ashton Young
https://linktr.ee/wealthpuravida
-----------------------------------------
In this deeply insightful and empowering episode, we dive into a topic that often gets siloed in our modern world: the profound interconnectedness of our healing journey.
We're not just talking about physical health, or just about financial freedom, or solely focusing on self-love. We're exploring how these three crucial pillars (and more) – Money, Self-Love, and Health – are intrinsically linked and how understanding this connection can unlock a more holistic and sustainable path to well-being.
Have you ever noticed how financial stress can manifest as physical ailments? Or how a lack of self-worth can sabotage your efforts to build wealth or prioritize your health? These aren't coincidences. Our inner world, our external circumstances, and our physical bodies are constantly influencing each other in a complex and beautiful dance.
In this episode, we'll unpack:
Don't forget to:
--------------------------------
More:
Ashton Young
https://linktr.ee/wealthpuravida
-----------------------------------------
In this deeply insightful and empowering episode, we dive into a topic that often gets siloed in our modern world: the profound interconnectedness of our healing journey.
We're not just talking about physical health, or just about financial freedom, or solely focusing on self-love. We're exploring how these three crucial pillars (and more) – Money, Self-Love, and Health – are intrinsically linked and how understanding this connection can unlock a more holistic and sustainable path to well-being.
Have you ever noticed how financial stress can manifest as physical ailments? Or how a lack of self-worth can sabotage your efforts to build wealth or prioritize your health? These aren't coincidences. Our inner world, our external circumstances, and our physical bodies are constantly influencing each other in a complex and beautiful dance.
In this episode, we'll unpack:
- The Tangled Web: Understanding the Interconnections:
- Money & Health: From access to quality healthcare and nutritious food to the stress of debt and financial insecurity, break free from the cycle of financial strain affecting your well-being.
- Money & Self-Love: Discover how your beliefs about your worth can directly influence your earning potential, spending habits, and ability to build financial security. Overcoming limiting money beliefs rooted in low self-esteem and how to cultivate a healthy relationship with abundance is crucial.
- Self-Love & Health: This connection might seem more obvious, but we'll delve deeper into how self-compassion, body acceptance, and prioritizing your needs are foundational to making sustainable healthy choices. Learn how to move beyond self-sabotage and cultivate a loving relationship with your body.
- Self-Love & Money (The Cycle of Worth): Feeling worthy empowers you to ask for what you deserve in your career, set healthy financial boundaries, and invest in yourself and your future.
- Mindful Money Practices: Learn how to bring awareness to your spending habits and identify emotional triggers related to money. We'll discuss budgeting as an act of self-care and how to align your finances with your values.
- Cultivating Financial Self-Compassion: Overcome guilt and shame and learn to approach your financial journey with kindness and understanding.
- Body Awareness & Intuitive Living: Explore how listening to your body's needs and practicing self-care can reduce stress, improve energy levels, and ultimately impact your ability to manage your finances and pursue your goals.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries: Learn how to say "no" to commitments that drain your energy or your wallet and prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit.
- Reframing Limiting Beliefs: We'll guide you through identifying and challenging negative thoughts about money, your worthiness, and your ability to achieve health and abundance.
- Investing in Yourself Holistically: Investing in your education, well-being, and personal growth can have a ripple effect, positively impacting your finances, self-esteem, and overall health.
- Building a Supportive Ecosystem: Surrounding yourself with positive influences and seeking support in all three areas can accelerate your healing journey.
Don't forget to:
- Subscribe to our podcast/YouTube channel for more insightful episodes.
- Leave a review and let us know what resonated with you.
- Share this episode with anyone who might benefit from this information.
- Connect with us on social media and let us know your thoughts on the interconnectedness of healing!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Okay, So I really like your shirt. It has a
mushroom on it. Everything connected, absolutely, I could I'm on
that vibe at all the time. I love that we
could really go into depth about mushrooms and the connectivity
and how it relates to community and culture and all
of that. But tell us what you're about, tell us
(00:24):
what you do and why you're here and who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amazing? Oh I am Ashton.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Yeah, And I don't know why I laughed when I
said that, but I think I laughed because when you
talked about my shirt and everything being connected in the mushroom,
it really put me into a mindset and a space
of just recognizing and realizing, you know, who I am
and where I'm at in life and where I've come from,
(00:55):
and just understanding how much I've overcame in life, how
much I've gone through in life, and just the fact
that the more and why I think about it, everything
is connected, the more and why I think about what
I've been through and how it all ties into the
man that I am today and I'm trying to become.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You know a little bit about me.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida, pretty rough city that
grew up in I saying the good size and the
bad size of life, experienced a lot of trauma, have
worked hard to overcome things in life, which kind of
landed me to where I'm at today, which I work
in the financial planning field, and I just truly take
the time to think about financial literacy from a point
(01:42):
of how can I utilize this as a tool and
resource to impact and empower the lives of those around me, friends, family,
and even those who don't know me. And so that's
kind of how I went on that journey is do
with a struggle through everything that I've experienced in life
and taking myself out kind of out of that moment
(02:03):
and analyzing the entire picture to say, why are so
many communities struggling, Why are so many communities suffering? Why
are so many communities in a place that feels like
it's no way out in this sense, So that led
me to taking the journey of studying finance, studying investments,
studying money, studying any and everything that had to do
(02:27):
with resources and tools that people utilized.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
To have better lives, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So I went ahead and got my bachelor's degree in
business administration with the focus in finance. I've been in
corporate finance for about six years now and just continuing
to read a lot of books about finance, and you know,
really dove into the financial part of things about life,
and with that of mine, I thought I was on
the right path until I came across the fact that
(02:56):
I didn't love myself. And when I learned that about myself,
then I took a deeper dive into Okay, what does
loving yourself look like? And the more I started to
love myself, I started to understand, Okay, I need to
learn how to love myself. I need to work on
personal growth, and I need to understand financial literacy. So
that's a little bit about my background, how I got to.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Where I'm at and what I'm working on now.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm working on those three pillars, and I believe, truly
believe that those three pillars will impact my life as
well as the lives around me, because just focusing on
those three values has already started to shift my life
and where I'm at and.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Where I'm at it.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, you get that what you focus on for sure.
I'm so happy that we kindly got on this call
because it took us a couple of times of other yes,
third times the charm right, Yes, I almost got a
stormed out, but the storms got pushed out. I was
really really concerned about that. I was like, please, don't
let me have to cancel on him for.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
A third time.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yes, I totally get it. Yeah, honey is something that
everybody thinks about a lot, and unfortunately it is something
that we have to really study to understand because they
made it difficult. They. You know, the culture has always
(04:18):
been that I'm having a heart My allergies are so
bad that I can barely breathe, so I'm getting winded.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Really had no worries.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Take your time, Take your time. I hope you feel better.
You gotta get some honey. One of the things I've
used for my allergies is honey, natural honey.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, my son made me some dandylion tea that he
picked the dandelions from the yard earlier and made us
a tea for It's yeah, and it's nice stuffiness. But
I still feel like I'm having a hard time breathing.
But anyway, the culture historically around here, at least in
the US, I don't know how it's been around the world.
(04:57):
I don't you know, everywhere you go has a different
culture for every topic of life. But here, for sure,
you don't talk about money. You don't talk about Historically,
it has started to change because we've woken up to
the idea that, oh, we were taught not to talk
about money, because if you don't talk about money, you
can't learn about money, and you can't understand money because
(05:19):
it is a whole different language. It's a whole different understanding.
And you know, Tony Robbins has a really good book
that I read. Most of it's very and he tried
to simplify as best he could, but it's still so
complicated because it's a different language, and so it's not
(05:42):
complicated once you under just like you know, I'm learning Spanish.
That was really hard until I got the basics down
and now it's getting easier. So just like with a
learning curve. But for sure, you have to if you
want to be better with any category in your life,
(06:03):
you have to spend time focusing on that, and a
lot of people want to avoid it. Honestly, I talk
all the time about how you have to set aside
time every month at least. You know, everything is a relationship,
and money is a relationship. So just like if you
have a relationship with your spouse, that you're ignoring them,
(06:26):
you're avoiding them, you're telling them that they're not good enough,
they're not there enough. And that's what we do with money.
That's a bad relationship. But even if you just sit
down and look at your finances for however long it
takes you to do that every month, just take inventory
of what you have coming in, what you have going out.
(06:48):
Just spend time with it, you know, date your money
or whatever. Definitely also with felt yeah, yeah, so whatever category.
We could go in several different categories there. Because I
can talk about self love for a while, I can
talk about trauma. I've built the entire platform on healing trauma,
(07:09):
especially like with the mental health aspect of it, but
also and I love that also healing the body and
the soul and trying to make that all make sense
for people as it makes sense to me, because it
all seems like separate things, you know, everything, like money
(07:31):
has nothing to do with spirituality, Yeah it does. Everything's interconnected,
you know. Yes, self love has to do with money.
Trauma has to do with money. I think we're pretty
aware of that one though. You know, generational wealth, generational trauma,
it's all, it all comes together, It's all connected, the
mushrooms total.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yes, And I love that. I love how you brought
it full circle. And I truly like the purpose and
values of the podcast, such as one amazing reason why
I reached out, you know, the trauma part and the
healing and overcoming from it because, as you know, a minority,
I've gone through so much trauma in my life and
one of the things that I have been attempting to
(08:13):
do is use it as a way to one heal
myself and help others heal. You know, I feel like
that conversation is being had more and more and more
today within so many societies and so many communities, because
people are searching for healing, People are looking for peace,
people are looking for love and ways to just you know,
continue to walk with purpose in this world. And one
(08:35):
of the first things we have to do is heal
and overcome the traumas that we've gone through.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, everything is a healing process, just like you know,
we all we're all born more or less whole, and
you know, babies don't have a whole lot to start
off with trauma wise, we all pretty well. You know,
the more the deeper you get into the healing and
personal development world, and they say, you know, it's a
(09:01):
spiral and it always comes back in on itself, and
essentially you do eventually realize that you're the exact same
person that you were at like age six or seven.
You're just in a grown up body now and that
changes things in a sense of now you have responsibilities
and you feel like you're supposed to be a grown
(09:23):
up and act grown up, but you can nourish that
inner child and still be that seven year old while
still meeting your responsibilities. It's all mindset, it's all cultural,
it's all taking what works and leaving the rest. But
it's a lot to sift through until you start actually
doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
One hundred percent. I agree.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You know, finding that inner child is is something you know,
I feel like as a part of the healing process,
especially for me, that's being able to laugh again, love again,
and you know, be yourself without you know, judgment, without
you know, not being so you can you know, even
when it comes to playing video games. That's another way
that I heal and I enjoy healing. But that often
(10:06):
times that people talk about, oh, you're playing video games.
You're supposed to be an adult. And it's like, wait
a minute, So I'm supposed to stop playing video games
because I'm an adult now?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Like that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
It brings me joy, It brings me peace, it brings
me happiness, and it's connection for me. It is, you know,
a way for me to just feel safe in a
place where I can smile and laugh and have a
good time with my friends, people I've never met before,
you know, form communities and bonds. You know, like I
don't understand what being an adult has to do with,
(10:36):
you know, not enjoying life.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The people who look down on video games are the
people who don't play video games. We just have to
love them and feel sorry for them and hope that
my happiness somewhere and grateful percent.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I love.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I love sports gaming, so I generally play two K.
I also like RPG. So one of my favorite games
is room Scape. Okay, so I've played that for many years.
And it's interesting how Real Escape has grown up with
like the adults. So like the majority of the people
that play real Skate is all the kids that used
(11:14):
to play back in the day, and they're in their
like twenties, and thirties now, and so that's freaking much
of the community.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, I feel the same way kind of with the
Call of Duty in modern warfare. That's mainly what I
have historically played. And I agree it was all social
for me, every bit always has been. I don't I
used to Black Ops too. I don't know if I'm
(11:42):
proud of this or if I regret it or what,
but I put in a solid six days plus on
that game, and that's just wait, no, that's sorry. I
think it was six months. Six days is not much smanna.
But it was like thirteen years ago at this point,
so I'm working on But I only ever played well.
(12:07):
Some of my best friends were people that I had
never met, some of the people that had some of
the stuff that I dealt with in my twenties and
felt so alone and isolated. And you know, people, we're
communal creatures where you know, we need our village, we
(12:30):
need our herd, we need our community. That is just
as much as we need food and water. It is
a need and necessity for proper health and well being.
And I was able to find that only through my
Xbox friends that I played with every night, people that
I had never met an ad like actually physically face
(12:53):
to facement and they sat on the They sat on
the headset with me several nights when I cried and
there was just nobody else and we didn't even play
that night. We just sat there and talked. And so, yeah,
any way you can find that healing that community is
always a positive, and sometimes it comes to us in
(13:17):
ways that we don't expect to find community, and especially
when it's tied to something like video games that has
such a negative connotation, it can create a bit within
us and then we try to we end up pushing
our Xbox friends away or PlayStation or whatever you know, PC. Well,
(13:38):
now we know what sides are on. It's mostly all
in these days. So but you know, and then we
find ourselves pushing those that community, the only piece of
community that we have away because we're trying to be
a quote unquote adult and focus on things that actually
(13:59):
quote unquote matter. But yeah, there's nothing more important than
our healing for every aspect of our life. So you know,
coming back to money, if you want to if you
want to heal your money situation, you have to figure
out what's in you that needs healing.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So fun whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It really like literally everything relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Agree, I agree whole heartedly, and everything he said, especially
about the video game portion. I feel like that was
that's the final part of the healing process for a
lot of people, you know, like just having that community
that you don't necessarily have in person. You know, I've
had friends that I used to have on PlayStation who
we were like, they watched us grow up. You know,
(14:44):
from the time we were thirteen years old to twenty eight.
For fifteen years we played video games together. We stay connected,
and like you said, there would be a lot of
nights where we're just sitting in the lobby talking, you know,
especially when we started becoming fathers and having kids. It's like,
you know, we're sitting in the lobby and you know,
nobody's complaining, nobody's rushing you, nobody's saying. Everybody's like, oh,
(15:06):
I gotta make this bottle for my baby. I'm about
to do this, and everybody's like we're still on the
mike talking, having a good time. But it's like, man,
you know, we're just really you know, reminiscing on the
younger days, talking about things that we're doing in life now,
sharing stories about what our kids are doing and just
literally just having a good time, you know, really connected
with each other. And I will say, as far as
(15:28):
video games goes, taking away the lobbies and video games
was the worst thing that could ever happen. Like, the
lobbies used to be one of the best farts. They
used to be lit, especially Call of Duty lobbies.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, and they can be really toxic for sure, but
that's where you're best.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Friends at Exactly, Like.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm playing for six hours, you're playing for six hours.
If we can't, we don't like those guys. Those guys
are getting on our nerves. So hey, do you want
to team up? You want to.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Exactly, Yeah, that's just how it went.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You've met so many cool people through the games, and
so I can, man, I look forward to.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Pulling my PlayStation out and taking the dust off of it.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, and it can be a purer form of friendship
also because since you're you know, a lot of times
we don't know what these guys look like, we don't
know what the rest of their life is like. They're
probably two states away at least, so we don't have
any expectations for trying to like actually put clothes on
(16:32):
and leave the house to go hang out.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
With them exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
You could just say, hey, trying to play the video game. Yep,
that's been a long week. Man, Let's sit fact relaxed,
grab or brew or something, and just let's enjoy this
video game.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah. Full circle healing is when you stop beating yourselves
up about the video games and you just let yourself
enjoy them.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I like that. I like that. Maybe I do need it.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Maybe I actually take my PlayStation out the out the
bag tonight.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, prob. Maybe maybe maybe this is your sign.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
It's yeah, it has been it's been a few it's
been quite It's been about a year since I've played
the PlayStation, so.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's a really long time. Yeah, I don't play near
as much as I used to, maybe once a month
at this point. But you know, the games are just
remakes of the old games, and I'm tired of relearning
the same game over and over again. I wish they
maps indefinitely.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
See that makes sense that the DLC I feel like
the affel like for me. I tell people that's why
it works so hard. I'm working so hard so I
can just sit back and play video games all day.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, and you know, our our culture also glorifies the hustle,
the go go go, the productivity, so video games aren't
really seen as something like that. So it's it's hard
for a lot of us who want to amount to something.
I want to amount to something. I want to be successful. Well,
(18:11):
people like that don't play. Yeah, they do, they do.
For successful people play video games. It's kind of a
new thing. I don't think it's new. I think it's uh.
I've heard several like celebrities and famous people recently talking
about how they play video games. I think they said
(18:32):
Elon Musk is number one in the world for what
does he play? Elder Scrolls? Is it Elder Scrolls or no? Diablo?
I think it's Diablo. Okay, So I mean, you know,
if he can do, if he can play video games
and still do all those things, regardless of how you
feel about them, I think video games are okay for
(18:54):
successful people exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Take a beat. I would definitely take that into consideration.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I think, like you said, it is and it is
confirmation that I needed from the guys that be.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You can run yourself to debt. You can run yourself
into the ground real quickly with trying to do more
do more be productive for the sake of success. But
at the end of the day, you have to figure
out what you define as success, you know. And so
we went and did our taxes yesterday, and uh, every
(19:29):
single year, I am nervous as crap walking into the
tax place and I'm like, man, I hope I have
all of my ducks in a row, and just please
don't let my tax lady judge me about where I'm at.
And I was telling my husband about it beforehand. I
was like, you know what, though, I was like, the
(19:50):
numbers might not be quite where I want them to be,
but I am so happy with my life and how
it is, and that's what success is. And he was like, yeah,
and the kids always have their mom around when they
need them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, so lovely. Yeah you
have to you know, my schedules as flexible as it gets.
(20:12):
I get to do what I want, when I want,
how I want, and I don't have to answer to
anybody else. And you know, I mean, what more could
you want?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
I agree? And that's one of the things that's been
my mantras up lately as.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Well, is you know, I have told myself and I
tell myself every day, and it's been helping me overcome
a lot of like depression and PTSD and things of
that nature. When I say I am closer to my
dreams than goes today than I have ever been in
my entire life, yes, and that has been you know,
(20:48):
just thinking about that, even though there's so much going on,
so much to think to you, so much to really
just you know, cope with and overcome. It's like, what,
guess what, I'm close. I'm almost there. I'm not there yet,
but I'm almost there. And if I could go back
to a year ago, a day ago, a month ago,
(21:09):
twenty years ago, I would not because I would have
to I would be further away than I am now.
And if I can recognize that and sit with that
and understand that, then I should be motivated.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I should be happy. I should be able to understand that.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah, there's going to be hiccups, there's going to be
ups and downs, but look at how far I've came,
you know.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, it's all waves, it's ups and downs, and there
is no finish line. There is no almost there, because
almost there is I mean essentially death right where if
there's nothing left to work for, it's all about the journey.
There's no destination to the journey because you know, you
think about, you've achieved everything you could possibly want in
(21:52):
your life. You have all the money you could possibly want,
all the free time you could possibly want. Now what now? What? Now?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
We play video games?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Now, we play video games. But eventually you're gonna get
you for like three months, probably you're gonna be like, yeah,
playing video games six hours every day, just into that routine,
like I could live. But it's gonna get old eventually,
and you're like, man, where's my purpose and fulfillment that
that I thought I had? That I had that when
we started here, and it's slowly dwindling away.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And I think what you said, you bring up some
very important points and I think that's why that self love.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Oh sorry, that was a thunderstorm. I just started to
go boom.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
And yes, we got the storms out here. But what
was I saying. I was saying, Oh, that's the that's
the value and the beauty and self love and why
Oftentimes when I when I talk about financial literacy and education,
I have to mix in the personal growth and and
self love because one of the most important aspects to
(23:00):
acquiring wealth and building wealth. It's understanding what you want
out of life. You know, you may not need a
billion dollars to get what you want out of life.
You may need a billion dollars to get what you
want out of life.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's just you have to sit with the idea and
the ideology of what is my purpose?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What do I find value in?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
At what point in life will I say, Okay, I'm happy,
I'm content, I'm satisfied, and I'm grateful. And that's what
you go after, whether that's building wealth, whether that's personal growth,
whether that's self love. You have to take a moment
to understand what are the things in life that you
would consider successful that you would be grateful for that
(23:40):
you would say, you know what I have acquired what
I need to be comfortable and live the life that
I want to live.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah, because you have. If you don't feel happy about
yourself and your life and gratitude and thankful and all like,
if you don't like yourself now, you're not gonna like
yourself when you get just the monetary stuff without the
backing it up. Also, because most people, most people don't
need much money to actually hit that. Because all of
(24:10):
us want the same things underneath, you know, freedom, happiness, health, love, connection,
not a whole lot from that. It's all emotional, it's
all feelings. We want to feel connected, we want to
feel loved, we want to feel energetic, we want to
feel happy, we want to feel healthy. We want to
(24:31):
be able to do what we want to do when
we want to do it, period, with the people we
want to do it with.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Amen, exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah, a lot of that doesn't cost a lot. We
want the money because we think the money is going
to get us happiness and freedom and you know, and
better relationships and love and connection. And sometimes it can
some you know, money is a tool just like anything else.
It can absolutely help, for sure. But if your kids
(25:08):
never see you and you spend fifteen twenty years trying
to build this wealth, and in that time you neglected
them and were stressed out, so you were angry and
you were short with them, and you told them no,
you don't want to go play baseball with them, and
you don't want to take them to get ice cream,
and know, go on, leave me alone, I have another
(25:29):
work call. You're not building a good relationship with the
people that are in your life, and that's just an example.
Take it and spread it as you will. But you
have to really prioritize your priorities, and to do that,
you have to know what they are. And a lot
of people we think we know what our priorities are
(25:51):
until we achieve them or really think about them. You
know how many people have gone on a diet and
been like, if I lose fifty pounds, I will be
happy with myself. So they do the work, they lose
the fifty pounds and they're like, they're still not happy.
They're still not happy when they look in the mirror.
They're still not happy with other things. The relationships are
(26:15):
still bad. They still don't feel love connected.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
So well, I agree, and like you said, you mentioned
a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
That's why it's important to understand what it is you
want out of the journey that you're going on and
understand how that adds value and purpose into your life
and into the things you're doing and to the love
that you have for yourself. I like the shirt is
perfect for what you're saying. Everything is connected. You know,
(26:43):
your money is connected to your self love. Your self
love is connected to your personal growth. Your personal growth
is connected to your friends, your friends, is connected to
your your job, your job, like everything is connected because
at some point when you really sit down and write
out this is what I want out of life, this
is the purpose I have. I have in life, This
is the things that I need in order to fulfill
(27:03):
the purposes. The things that you align yourself with and
the actions that you take should match what you want
out of life. You know, if saying I want to
lose fifty pounds, it should be more than just I
want to lose fifty pounds so I can look good.
It's just say me looking good or me understand that
I lost this fifty pounds will let me know that
(27:23):
not only do I look good, but I understand that
I can set a goal and achieve it. I can
cross it off my list. I have the discipline to
do this, and I can take that discipline and apply
it to another area of my life. You know, like
not saying that everything has to be so meticulous, but
there does need to be a purpose for while you're
going out the goals and dreams and things of that nature.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And that's one of the things.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I definitely have ensured that along my journey, I truly
take the time to write out what am I doing things?
What is the purpose, So that way, if I ever
get to that point, I can be grateful, I can
be gratitude, have gratitude, have grace, and just be content
with you know, where I'm at and where I'm going.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Sure, how we do anything is how we do everything.
And you know, just continuing on with the diet aspect
as an example, a lot of people they'll set that
goal and they'll work really hard towards that goal for
a said amount of time, and if they achieve that goal,
a lot of them stop and then they're like, oh,
(28:29):
well I got here, and now I can go back
to eating the honeybuts and the fried chicken. And it's
like I sometimes, you know, I don't believe in deprivation.
I believe in limiting. We're having a we're having to
limit my husband's fried foods right now. It's becoming a problem,
(28:50):
like your blood pressure is giving you warnings. But that
makes sense, you know, we're not we're not trying to
deprive ourselves. We're trying to because you know, even with
the healing and the finding self love and the doing
the inner work, the playing the video games, we think
of it like, oh, I need to do less of that.
(29:14):
And it's really hard to do to stop doing something
that's already programmed into your consciousness and subconsciousness. But what's
easier is adding things in, so, you know, instead of like, oh,
you can never eat cake again, it's like, well, how
(29:35):
about we limit the cake and we just eat more carrots.
I don't care if you have to drench it and
wrench dressing. Just get the carrots into the system, you know,
get it work in the rotation of everything else, and
you just build on that, and the good crowds out
the And I don't like good and bad. I like
(29:57):
helpful and unhelpful because everything is ba. It's everything's two
sides of the same yin and yang symbol, right, you
gotta have the light in the dark both and so,
and language helps us navigate all of that. So it's
helpful and unhelpful and.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
So yeah, no, that makes sense. And my luckily, my
fiance makes some really good carrots. I've been blessed to
be able to add that to my life my diet
because I need it. And so the fact that her
carrots are just so soft and so good and they
just taste amazing I have been like you said, lemon
(30:35):
and the cakes adding more carrots good.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I love cooked carrots. I'm not a huge fan of
raw carrots, but if I slice them up super thin,
then I can eat them. And I don't mean then
like I on salads you get and like fun fry
or yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Yeah that makes sense, And I like what you said.
I have to think about them more often, not depriving
myself of things, but you know, within moderation and then
adding in the good thing, like you know for me,
you know, I have deprived myself for video games when
I could just limit it and then add in books
(31:17):
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Well, boundaries, it's creating boundaries. You have to create boundaries
with yourself, just like you have to create boundaries with
relationships and everything. And it's not about keeping things out,
but it's about allowing things to be able to be
present in your life in a healthy way. Moderation everything
(31:42):
in moderation. It's like meditation. People people always think people
are like, I can't meditate, Like, how do you cut
your brain off? How do you just silence your mind?
And know that's that's a laughable concept made by people
who aren't very good at teaching meditation. So just like this,
(32:02):
instead of trying to shut off the thoughts, you want
to crowd the problematic thoughts out with more positive, helpful things. So,
you know, like with trauma and depression and anxiety, all
of these things, you have really intrusive thoughts that come
(32:22):
in and those are what instant like escalated the issue
because your body and your nervous system can't differentiate between
what's happening now and what happened in the past or
what has never happened, and you're just worried about it
and it might Wow, the thought comes into your mind
and your body reacts to it as if it's real.
(32:46):
So if you're having these really unhelpful intrusive thoughts, step
one is awareness. You're like, oh, man, that's going on,
which is not You think it's not hard to do,
you know, like, well, of course I know it's happening,
but you don't realize like, oh, I'm doing that thing again,
(33:06):
And then what are my tools? What are my tools?
And so you crowd it out with oh, that's a
nice curtain. I'm glad I picked out that ca and
these babbles. I'm still happy with this color. Yeah, man,
it feels good to breathe. I'm so glad I can
breathe today. Just you start small, and you just you
(33:29):
refocus your mind on elsewhere. And it's hard at first,
it's super hard at first, but you just keep practicing
and you have to train your mind the same way
you train a puppy.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You have pets. I we have a cat.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yes, okay, we don't have a We're playing it on
getting a dog somewhere in the near future, but we
currently have a cat.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you know, like you said, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
A lot of what you said just makes a lot
of sense, because it's definitely about removing those negative thoughts
and focusing on the positive and just having grace and
giving yourself grace, giving your space, so the space to
think about the positive things in life, you know, because
it's so easy to think negatively. It takes It's almost interesting,
(34:19):
the way that our brains are set up to how
we can just so instantly and easily think about all
of the negative things, and how it's hard to sometimes
think about the positives that are out there.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, it's our survival instinct. We've survived this long like
me and you made it here because our ancestors were
really good at noticing all of the things that were
potential threats. So we evolved to notice the potential threats
because those are the ones that matter. Those are the
ones's gonna kill us and our kids, and we need
(34:51):
to be aware. So that's why the news is so
negative all the time. You don't hear about the good
you don't hear about the puppies and the kittens, all
of the good things in the world on the news,
They're only telling you about the bad things because that's
what gets reading about. M Yeah, because the negative.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Things, all of the propaganda. You hear about every negative
shift in the world. And it is like, like, that's why.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
That's why the delete social media every now and then
and take breaks, because you have to whenever it comes
to what they're putting out into the world, what they're
putting out into society and what we focus on. You know,
that's another thing, like you said, what we focus on. Yes,
it's important to be able to date and know the
dangers that are out there, but you know, let's talk
about the goods sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Yes, be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best,
assume the best.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yes, I love I.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Love that prepare for the worst, but expecting, like I say,
expect ors some of the best, for sure.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, they say some of the happiest people live in
some of the most war torn places because every day
they're just happy to be alive every day. It's just
like they understand that life is fleeting. And that's the
funny thing about trauma is that some of the most
(36:17):
well adjusted people I know, the most adultiest adults, are
the ones with the worst childhoods, the worst upbringing, the
worst history and backstories. And then some of the most
adults that don't quite have it together yet are the
ones that had the best things as a child and
(36:39):
everything handed to them and YadA YadA, cliches whatever. I
guess it builds character. But you know, none of us want,
none of us are happy that we experienced any of it,
for sure. And it's not a just get over it
type of thing. Just to brave be happy that you
had all that happened to no man and none of
us happy about it, and that's.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Okay, that's okay, But we just learned from it a
deaf and continue pushing.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Forward, for sure.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah, you know, you have to find acceptance that it
did happen. It's like we can sit there being mad
all day long about the cards we were dealt, but
at the end of the day, we still have to
play the hand. We still have to We have the
cards that we have and might as well make the
best of it.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Right a minute, that still have to move those pieces
on the board every.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Day, every single day. So you know, again, how you
do anything is how you do and everything. And we
set these goals and we hit them, so we think,
but it doesn't fulfill the thing because we weren't after
the correct goal in the first place, the only goal,
because none of us really know what's going to happen.
You know, we can set goals, but we don't need
(37:53):
to be too terribly attached to them, because if we
get too attached to them, we're going to be very
upset when our life goes in a completely differ for direction.
But if we allow the ebb and the flow and
the flexibility, then we open ourselves up to the possibilities
of what could actually make us happy rather than what
(38:13):
we think would make us happy. You know, we're here
until we die, and you know, be happy now best
you can, because in the end, that's something that you
can work towards now is just how can I be
happy with where I'm at and what I have at
this moment and then build from there.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
I agree, I love that. I feel like that is
an amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Way to think about it and a lovely reason why
I always, well, I'm not always why. I have of
lately been really finding so much value in the term grace,
just being giving yourself grace, giving yourself room to breathe,
giving yourself room to fail, giving yourself room to.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Make mistake aches, and live life.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
And understand that it's going to come with ups and
downs and you know, adversities, but that's that's all a
part of the experience. It's a part of life, you know. Obviously,
we hopefully get to a world where there's more peace,
more love, and more care, though it's going to be
a journey, and it is important to enjoy the journey
along the way as well.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, and coming back to what you said earlier about
healing and focusing on being the best you that you can.
You know, we created this world by hurt people. Hurting people,
you know, it's just a ripples out from you. If
you're having you know, You're going to be having a
really good day and then you run into somebody, a
complete stranger at Starbucks, say, and they are really rude,
(39:49):
treated you awful, you had any altercation with them, and
then you spend the rest of your day being mad.
That's the same thing as having a good interaction with
someone and spending the rest of your day being happy.
And in that way, that's how we create. That's how
we created the world full of hate and war and
(40:11):
greed and trauma and all the not helpful things that
we're all dealing with. And then we flip it by
the same way, but in the opposite direction. But we
can't be our best selves out in the world if
we're you know, stressed out, anxious, and therefore snapping at people,
(40:32):
not in control of our emotions, saying things that we
don't mean, you know, letting the worst of us out.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
That's why I love finding values and peace and self
love and looking inside first before trying to go out
and sick on the world, because the world is going
to test you.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
It's going to test your boundaries, it's going to test your.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Ability to help make it better in every aspect of
you know, of life that we can think about, and
so what you said makes a lot of sense, you know,
being able to change the trajectory of our future by
instilling those you know, morals of loving ourselves, loving our neighbors,
and just really being better humans, being the best versions
(41:17):
of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's why I work so hard.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
And one of the like say, one of the key
reasons that I said in the beginning is to be
the best version of myself. I feel like if everybody
just focused on being the best version of themselves instead
of trying to you know, tell other people to be
the best version of themselves, the world will probably be
a little bit better.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
For sure, without perfectionism though because for perfectionism becomes problematic.
Also because again the yin and the yang, the dark
and the light. Every single one of us has a
dark side that we battle with, you know, and that's
being human. Being humans sucks a lot a lot of them, definitely,
(41:57):
But as bad as it is, it can also be
that good and better.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Oh, I definitely can, especially you know, when you take
the time, like the way we're talking about, to hell
and find video games, or take trips, or spend time
with family and friends, and you know, do those things
that matter.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Mm hmm. All right, where are you at?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
I'm currently in Florida.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Okay, cool yourself. I'm in Alabama, so we're not too terrible.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Okay, Oh that's nice. So your your husband live up
in Alabama.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
That's amazing. At what part? I have family in Montgomery?
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Okay, we're the Athensonspital area.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So super north most far north Alabama. You can get almost.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, I'm dying in Melbourne, Florida. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I saw you were traveling a little bit doing podcasts
as well. You get to do that.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
So when I first started the podcast, it was I'm
doing a little bit more virtually, but it was all
you know, in person at first, though, I just moved.
So I'm still trying to get used to the area.
I don't know many people, so I still do. I
have done two episodes so far in person, so I
still do in person, but you know, I've been venturing
into the virtual space as well.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Well. It's a lot easier just to do virtual.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah. I like both set ups. You know.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Oh it's fun, it's fun, but as a parent, it's
just a lot to deal with. You have you have?
You have at least you have some a child, right,
I have a daughter yet, Okay, I thought I had
heard or read or something. All of my notes got
deleted because it took a I use my emails as notes.
I don't actually take the notes from my emails and
(43:45):
put them elsewhere. And if you get a train of
emails that are too long and go on for a
length of time, they start them just Google starts deleting
the old ones, and I'm like, wait, wait, I need those.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, it doesn't necessarily, I don't think it.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Somebody you have, there's like the three dots that you
have to click on in order to like open up
the messages further and further.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I don't know why it said up it has it has.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
A limit though. I found that out. There's a limit
because I was trying to go back and look at
my note my find your links and stuff. So you're
gonna have to send me your links and everything again
that I can put them in the show.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I can definitely do that.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
How old is your daughter?
Speaker 2 (44:25):
She's eight?
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Okay? Cool, I have a I have a seven year
old little girl and she just turns seven. On Valentine's
Day and then yeah, and my son turns ten I
next Sunday, okay, one week from today, so oh that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
My daughter turns nine Monday, oh wow, Monday after not
this Monday, but the Monday after your son's birthday, so.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
They have very close birthdays.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Also, yes, there are something else?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Do you get into astrology at all?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Yes? I love astrology?
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Okay, I'm a scorpio, so I I feel like, you know,
I've learned so much about myself or my self self
love journey through study in astrology and understand how I
can you know, be impacted by it?
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Sure? Yeah, I tell people all the time because you know,
it gets a reputation for being woo woo and yeah
a pseudoscience. Okay, sure, And at the end of the day,
it really doesn't matter if you believe if the planets
influence you, You're not they do. But it's a good
prospective tool. Just look anything else, you know, when you
(45:45):
don't know where to start in healing and figuring out
who you are and your purpose and what fulfills you,
astrology is a great tool to just Okay, so your
scorpio and you look up all of the aspects to scorpio,
and you just take what resonates and you leave the rest,
and oftentimes it triggers thoughts, and it triggers thoughts brought
(46:09):
up from your subconscious because you know, all of the
answers are within and uh, you know the you have
all the answers inside of you, and uh, but you
got to figure out how to dig them out of
the subconscious. And it's a really that's a really good
way to do it is letting it shrudge up anything.
(46:30):
It's like, oh, okay, so that's why I do that
is because of that. Well, it all makes sense as
long as you're not using it an escapegoat.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
And you said to something very important to ask, like
you said, like you said, you take what resonates and
leave what doesn't. And I feel like that's oftentimes why
people develop biases and struggle with things, and because it
oftentimes we go to places looking for Okay, if this
doesn't give me everything I need, then it must not
(47:01):
be true or I can't believe it, or things like that,
because it's that one thing that you can't take away.
But you know, if you actually, like you said, just
take what matters to you or what you feel connects
with you and aligns with you and leave the rest,
you know. But like you said, just I feel like
looking at astrology and understanding scorpios have have helped me,
(47:21):
you know, think about so much because a lot of
the things make sense, and I feel like a lot
of the things that I listen to and read and
study about scorpios, I'm like, yep, that's me, Yep, that's me.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yep, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
And then even you know, you read like you find
little communities too, because you find other scorpios who are like, oh,
I want to do that, I want to do this,
and y'all all have similar stories and similar feelings, similar emotions,
similar you know, it all makes sense. And even the
people who aren't scorpios talk about scorpios and they all
have like similar stories for dealing with scorpiods and things
(47:54):
like that. So it's like it must be have some
truth to it if all of these people from who've
never met have similar experiences and connects, and really, it
must be some type of truth to it.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Absolutely, there's a lot of layers to it. And however
you find community is exactly how you should find community. Yeah,
we always want to. We always want to be very
rigid in the you know, putting things in boxes is
the human way. But everything in reality is much more
(48:31):
abstract than we allow it to be, much more ebb
and flow.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
In.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I'm really interested in languages in cultures, and our English
Western speaking world is more linear, and it has a
start and a finish, and everything's very calm, crete, and
(49:02):
it's like A plus B equals c the end always
and then. So that's the Newtonian logic that's tied to
in the English language and the Western world, whereas in
the Eastern cultures, Japan, China, those areas, they have a
(49:25):
paradoxical logic logic, So theirs is more circular. It's well, yes,
a plus B equal C, but sometimes a plus b
equals F, and sometimes a plus b equals y, and
sometimes it equals z. So they're much more flexible and
abstract and flowy with their just everything, their culture, their
(49:49):
way of thinking, and they're more community like. It's just
it comes full circle. It comes to the all connectedness.
Because I could go on for another hour about that.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
So of itself, no, I like that, I like that
understanding and thank you for sharing. It makes a lot
of sense, especially when you think about other languages. You
mentioned you're learning in Spanish. I'm also working on learning
Spanish and French. So you learned just how you know
different the languages are and how they have impact on
(50:25):
cultures and communication and things like that. It makes so
way of sense.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Yeah, I took three years of Spanish and came out
with the vocabulary of like a two year old. I
knew words, but I couldn't put any sentences together. In fact,
a two year old could probably speak way better than
I could. And then when I got I was in
college or just gotten out of college somewhere around in there.
(50:51):
Rosetta Stone was the only way you could learn a
language at that point in time. So I was like, Okay,
I'm going to get Spanish. And then the it came
in like a really thick pack of like five DVDs
or five CDs that you put in your PC, and
I don't know, my PC doesn't even takes anymore, so
(51:11):
that's moot. But I was gonna get Spanish, and my
friend that I had at that time was like, let's
get French and learn it together. I was like, that
makes no sense. Why do we need to know French.
Like maybe if we were in the Northern States, it'd
be a little bit it'd make a little bit more sense.
But every third person around here speaks Spanish. We need
(51:35):
to learn Spanish. And she was like French. I was
like Spanish, and may being the people pleaser, I am
the I'm the chill friend that just okay, Sure we
got French. Spent like two years learning that, so I
know just enough French to miss up my Spanish because
(51:56):
they're so similar. But they say once you get one
down pat or you know, uh when, because they're all Latin,
they're both Latin based. Once you get once you get
fluent in one, it makes it a lot easier to
learn the third, and you kind of just pick up
the third. Not a big deal because again they're very similar.
(52:17):
There's just differences in a few things. So I'm hoping
to eventually get to that point and we can full
circle learn French too and be killingual. That'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
That would that would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
And I do see some of the similarities and as
I'm learning French, because I did learn a little bit
of Spanish throughout college and high school, that my daughter's
also Hispanic, so I learn a little bit from their
language as well, so I do see the full circle moment.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, yeah, I think we should all learn more languages
because it opens your mind to different ways of thinking,
for sure, because our language creates our world and that's
why affirmations are important and stuff.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
Definitely all right.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Well, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you
for coming on. I'm glad we finally made it work.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
Of course, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Savin,
and I truly appreciate the time and the amazing conversation.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Yeah, tell everybody where they can find you, awesome.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
So again, my name is Ashton Young.
Speaker 3 (53:23):
You can find me everywhere LinkedIn Facebook, Instagram everywhere, on
YouTube as Ashton Young. And then I have a podcast
called peerra Vital Wealth Podcast and you can find that
if you just search peer Ravita, which is that Suspanish
name by the way that I got from Costa.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
Rica, So it's p U r a v I d
a Wealth.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
So peer vital Wealth on Instagram, all streaming platforms, YouTube, Facebook, everywhere,
and so those are the two places you can find
me the most awesome.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
And you're gonna email me all of those so that
I can drop them in the show notes, so that yes,
have to look very far or work very hard to
get to you.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Awesome, sounds lovely. I'll get that to you. If not tonight,
definitely in the morning.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
Okay, all right, well, thank you so much, my
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Pleasure, thank you,
Okay, So I really like your shirt. It has a
mushroom on it. Everything connected, absolutely, I could I'm on
that vibe at all the time. I love that we
could really go into depth about mushrooms and the connectivity
and how it relates to community and culture and all
of that. But tell us what you're about, tell us
(00:24):
what you do and why you're here and who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Amazing? Oh I am Ashton.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Yeah, And I don't know why I laughed when I
said that, but I think I laughed because when you
talked about my shirt and everything being connected in the mushroom,
it really put me into a mindset and a space
of just recognizing and realizing, you know, who I am
and where I'm at in life and where I've come from,
(00:55):
and just understanding how much I've overcame in life, how
much I've gone through in life, and just the fact
that the more and why I think about it, everything
is connected, the more and why I think about what
I've been through and how it all ties into the
man that I am today and I'm trying to become.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You know a little bit about me.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida, pretty rough city that
grew up in I saying the good size and the
bad size of life, experienced a lot of trauma, have
worked hard to overcome things in life, which kind of
landed me to where I'm at today, which I work
in the financial planning field, and I just truly take
the time to think about financial literacy from a point
(01:42):
of how can I utilize this as a tool and
resource to impact and empower the lives of those around me, friends, family,
and even those who don't know me. And so that's
kind of how I went on that journey is do
with a struggle through everything that I've experienced in life
and taking myself out kind of out of that moment
(02:03):
and analyzing the entire picture to say, why are so
many communities struggling, Why are so many communities suffering? Why
are so many communities in a place that feels like
it's no way out in this sense, So that led
me to taking the journey of studying finance, studying investments,
studying money, studying any and everything that had to do
(02:27):
with resources and tools that people utilized.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
To have better lives, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So I went ahead and got my bachelor's degree in
business administration with the focus in finance. I've been in
corporate finance for about six years now and just continuing
to read a lot of books about finance, and you know,
really dove into the financial part of things about life,
and with that of mine, I thought I was on
the right path until I came across the fact that
(02:56):
I didn't love myself. And when I learned that about myself,
then I took a deeper dive into Okay, what does
loving yourself look like? And the more I started to
love myself, I started to understand, Okay, I need to
learn how to love myself. I need to work on
personal growth, and I need to understand financial literacy. So
that's a little bit about my background, how I got to.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Where I'm at and what I'm working on now.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm working on those three pillars, and I believe, truly
believe that those three pillars will impact my life as
well as the lives around me, because just focusing on
those three values has already started to shift my life
and where I'm at and.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Where I'm at it.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, you get that what you focus on for sure.
I'm so happy that we kindly got on this call
because it took us a couple of times of other yes,
third times the charm right, Yes, I almost got a
stormed out, but the storms got pushed out. I was
really really concerned about that. I was like, please, don't
let me have to cancel on him for.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
A third time.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yes, I totally get it. Yeah, honey is something that
everybody thinks about a lot, and unfortunately it is something
that we have to really study to understand because they
made it difficult. They. You know, the culture has always
(04:18):
been that I'm having a heart My allergies are so
bad that I can barely breathe, so I'm getting winded.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Really had no worries.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Take your time, Take your time. I hope you feel better.
You gotta get some honey. One of the things I've
used for my allergies is honey, natural honey.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, my son made me some dandylion tea that he
picked the dandelions from the yard earlier and made us
a tea for It's yeah, and it's nice stuffiness. But
I still feel like I'm having a hard time breathing.
But anyway, the culture historically around here, at least in
the US, I don't know how it's been around the world.
(04:57):
I don't you know, everywhere you go has a different
culture for every topic of life. But here, for sure,
you don't talk about money. You don't talk about Historically,
it has started to change because we've woken up to
the idea that, oh, we were taught not to talk
about money, because if you don't talk about money, you
can't learn about money, and you can't understand money because
(05:19):
it is a whole different language. It's a whole different understanding.
And you know, Tony Robbins has a really good book
that I read. Most of it's very and he tried
to simplify as best he could, but it's still so
complicated because it's a different language, and so it's not
(05:42):
complicated once you under just like you know, I'm learning Spanish.
That was really hard until I got the basics down
and now it's getting easier. So just like with a
learning curve. But for sure, you have to if you
want to be better with any category in your life,
(06:03):
you have to spend time focusing on that, and a
lot of people want to avoid it. Honestly, I talk
all the time about how you have to set aside
time every month at least. You know, everything is a relationship,
and money is a relationship. So just like if you
have a relationship with your spouse, that you're ignoring them,
(06:26):
you're avoiding them, you're telling them that they're not good enough,
they're not there enough. And that's what we do with money.
That's a bad relationship. But even if you just sit
down and look at your finances for however long it
takes you to do that every month, just take inventory
of what you have coming in, what you have going out.
(06:48):
Just spend time with it, you know, date your money
or whatever. Definitely also with felt yeah, yeah, so whatever category.
We could go in several different categories there. Because I
can talk about self love for a while, I can
talk about trauma. I've built the entire platform on healing trauma,
(07:09):
especially like with the mental health aspect of it, but
also and I love that also healing the body and
the soul and trying to make that all make sense
for people as it makes sense to me, because it
all seems like separate things, you know, everything, like money
(07:31):
has nothing to do with spirituality, Yeah it does. Everything's interconnected,
you know. Yes, self love has to do with money.
Trauma has to do with money. I think we're pretty
aware of that one though. You know, generational wealth, generational trauma,
it's all, it all comes together, It's all connected, the
mushrooms total.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yes, And I love that. I love how you brought
it full circle. And I truly like the purpose and
values of the podcast, such as one amazing reason why
I reached out, you know, the trauma part and the
healing and overcoming from it because, as you know, a minority,
I've gone through so much trauma in my life and
one of the things that I have been attempting to
(08:13):
do is use it as a way to one heal
myself and help others heal. You know, I feel like
that conversation is being had more and more and more
today within so many societies and so many communities, because
people are searching for healing, People are looking for peace,
people are looking for love and ways to just you know,
continue to walk with purpose in this world. And one
(08:35):
of the first things we have to do is heal
and overcome the traumas that we've gone through.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, everything is a healing process, just like you know,
we all we're all born more or less whole, and
you know, babies don't have a whole lot to start
off with trauma wise, we all pretty well. You know,
the more the deeper you get into the healing and
personal development world, and they say, you know, it's a
(09:01):
spiral and it always comes back in on itself, and
essentially you do eventually realize that you're the exact same
person that you were at like age six or seven.
You're just in a grown up body now and that
changes things in a sense of now you have responsibilities
and you feel like you're supposed to be a grown
(09:23):
up and act grown up, but you can nourish that
inner child and still be that seven year old while
still meeting your responsibilities. It's all mindset, it's all cultural,
it's all taking what works and leaving the rest. But
it's a lot to sift through until you start actually
doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
One hundred percent. I agree.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You know, finding that inner child is is something you know,
I feel like as a part of the healing process,
especially for me, that's being able to laugh again, love again,
and you know, be yourself without you know, judgment, without
you know, not being so you can you know, even
when it comes to playing video games. That's another way
that I heal and I enjoy healing. But that often
(10:06):
times that people talk about, oh, you're playing video games.
You're supposed to be an adult. And it's like, wait
a minute, So I'm supposed to stop playing video games
because I'm an adult now?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Like that.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
It brings me joy, It brings me peace, it brings
me happiness, and it's connection for me. It is, you know,
a way for me to just feel safe in a
place where I can smile and laugh and have a
good time with my friends, people I've never met before,
you know, form communities and bonds. You know, like I
don't understand what being an adult has to do with,
(10:36):
you know, not enjoying life.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The people who look down on video games are the
people who don't play video games. We just have to
love them and feel sorry for them and hope that
my happiness somewhere and grateful percent.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I love.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I love sports gaming, so I generally play two K.
I also like RPG. So one of my favorite games
is room Scape. Okay, so I've played that for many years.
And it's interesting how Real Escape has grown up with
like the adults. So like the majority of the people
that play real Skate is all the kids that used
(11:14):
to play back in the day, and they're in their
like twenties, and thirties now, and so that's freaking much
of the community.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, I feel the same way kind of with the
Call of Duty in modern warfare. That's mainly what I
have historically played. And I agree it was all social
for me, every bit always has been. I don't I
used to Black Ops too. I don't know if I'm
(11:42):
proud of this or if I regret it or what,
but I put in a solid six days plus on
that game, and that's just wait, no, that's sorry. I
think it was six months. Six days is not much smanna.
But it was like thirteen years ago at this point,
so I'm working on But I only ever played well.
(12:07):
Some of my best friends were people that I had
never met, some of the people that had some of
the stuff that I dealt with in my twenties and
felt so alone and isolated. And you know, people, we're
communal creatures where you know, we need our village, we
(12:30):
need our herd, we need our community. That is just
as much as we need food and water. It is
a need and necessity for proper health and well being.
And I was able to find that only through my
Xbox friends that I played with every night, people that
I had never met an ad like actually physically face
(12:53):
to facement and they sat on the They sat on
the headset with me several nights when I cried and
there was just nobody else and we didn't even play
that night. We just sat there and talked. And so, yeah,
any way you can find that healing that community is
always a positive, and sometimes it comes to us in
(13:17):
ways that we don't expect to find community, and especially
when it's tied to something like video games that has
such a negative connotation, it can create a bit within
us and then we try to we end up pushing
our Xbox friends away or PlayStation or whatever you know, PC. Well,
(13:38):
now we know what sides are on. It's mostly all
in these days. So but you know, and then we
find ourselves pushing those that community, the only piece of
community that we have away because we're trying to be
a quote unquote adult and focus on things that actually
(13:59):
quote unquote matter. But yeah, there's nothing more important than
our healing for every aspect of our life. So you know,
coming back to money, if you want to if you
want to heal your money situation, you have to figure
out what's in you that needs healing.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So fun whatever.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It really like literally everything relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Agree, I agree whole heartedly, and everything he said, especially
about the video game portion. I feel like that was
that's the final part of the healing process for a
lot of people, you know, like just having that community
that you don't necessarily have in person. You know, I've
had friends that I used to have on PlayStation who
we were like, they watched us grow up. You know,
(14:44):
from the time we were thirteen years old to twenty eight.
For fifteen years we played video games together. We stay connected,
and like you said, there would be a lot of
nights where we're just sitting in the lobby talking, you know,
especially when we started becoming fathers and having kids. It's like,
you know, we're sitting in the lobby and you know,
nobody's complaining, nobody's rushing you, nobody's saying. Everybody's like, oh,
(15:06):
I gotta make this bottle for my baby. I'm about
to do this, and everybody's like we're still on the
mike talking, having a good time. But it's like, man,
you know, we're just really you know, reminiscing on the
younger days, talking about things that we're doing in life now,
sharing stories about what our kids are doing and just
literally just having a good time, you know, really connected
with each other. And I will say, as far as
(15:28):
video games goes, taking away the lobbies and video games
was the worst thing that could ever happen. Like, the
lobbies used to be one of the best farts. They
used to be lit, especially Call of Duty lobbies.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Yeah, and they can be really toxic for sure, but
that's where you're best.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Friends at Exactly, Like.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I'm playing for six hours, you're playing for six hours.
If we can't, we don't like those guys. Those guys
are getting on our nerves. So hey, do you want
to team up? You want to.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Exactly, Yeah, that's just how it went.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You've met so many cool people through the games, and
so I can, man, I look forward to.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Pulling my PlayStation out and taking the dust off of it.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, and it can be a purer form of friendship
also because since you're you know, a lot of times
we don't know what these guys look like, we don't
know what the rest of their life is like. They're
probably two states away at least, so we don't have
any expectations for trying to like actually put clothes on
(16:32):
and leave the house to go hang out.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
With them exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
You could just say, hey, trying to play the video game. Yep,
that's been a long week. Man, Let's sit fact relaxed,
grab or brew or something, and just let's enjoy this
video game.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah. Full circle healing is when you stop beating yourselves
up about the video games and you just let yourself
enjoy them.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I like that. I like that. Maybe I do need it.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Maybe I actually take my PlayStation out the out the
bag tonight.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, prob. Maybe maybe maybe this is your sign.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
It's yeah, it has been it's been a few it's
been quite It's been about a year since I've played
the PlayStation, so.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's a really long time. Yeah, I don't play near
as much as I used to, maybe once a month
at this point. But you know, the games are just
remakes of the old games, and I'm tired of relearning
the same game over and over again. I wish they
maps indefinitely.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
See that makes sense that the DLC I feel like
the affel like for me. I tell people that's why
it works so hard. I'm working so hard so I
can just sit back and play video games all day.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, and you know, our our culture also glorifies the hustle,
the go go go, the productivity, so video games aren't
really seen as something like that. So it's it's hard
for a lot of us who want to amount to something.
I want to amount to something. I want to be successful. Well,
(18:11):
people like that don't play. Yeah, they do, they do.
For successful people play video games. It's kind of a
new thing. I don't think it's new. I think it's uh.
I've heard several like celebrities and famous people recently talking
about how they play video games. I think they said
(18:32):
Elon Musk is number one in the world for what
does he play? Elder Scrolls? Is it Elder Scrolls or no? Diablo?
I think it's Diablo. Okay, So I mean, you know,
if he can do, if he can play video games
and still do all those things, regardless of how you
feel about them, I think video games are okay for
(18:54):
successful people exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Take a beat. I would definitely take that into consideration.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I think, like you said, it is and it is
confirmation that I needed from the guys that be.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
You can run yourself to debt. You can run yourself
into the ground real quickly with trying to do more
do more be productive for the sake of success. But
at the end of the day, you have to figure
out what you define as success, you know. And so
we went and did our taxes yesterday, and uh, every
(19:29):
single year, I am nervous as crap walking into the
tax place and I'm like, man, I hope I have
all of my ducks in a row, and just please
don't let my tax lady judge me about where I'm at.
And I was telling my husband about it beforehand. I
was like, you know what, though, I was like, the
(19:50):
numbers might not be quite where I want them to be,
but I am so happy with my life and how
it is, and that's what success is. And he was like, yeah,
and the kids always have their mom around when they
need them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, so lovely. Yeah you
have to you know, my schedules as flexible as it gets.
(20:12):
I get to do what I want, when I want,
how I want, and I don't have to answer to
anybody else. And you know, I mean, what more could
you want?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
I agree? And that's one of the things that's been
my mantras up lately as.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Well, is you know, I have told myself and I
tell myself every day, and it's been helping me overcome
a lot of like depression and PTSD and things of
that nature. When I say I am closer to my
dreams than goes today than I have ever been in
my entire life, yes, and that has been you know,
(20:48):
just thinking about that, even though there's so much going on,
so much to think to you, so much to really
just you know, cope with and overcome. It's like, what,
guess what, I'm close. I'm almost there. I'm not there yet,
but I'm almost there. And if I could go back
to a year ago, a day ago, a month ago,
(21:09):
twenty years ago, I would not because I would have
to I would be further away than I am now.
And if I can recognize that and sit with that
and understand that, then I should be motivated.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I should be happy. I should be able to understand that.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Yeah, there's going to be hiccups, there's going to be
ups and downs, but look at how far I've came,
you know.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, it's all waves, it's ups and downs, and there
is no finish line. There is no almost there, because
almost there is I mean essentially death right where if
there's nothing left to work for, it's all about the journey.
There's no destination to the journey because you know, you
think about, you've achieved everything you could possibly want in
(21:52):
your life. You have all the money you could possibly want,
all the free time you could possibly want. Now what now? What? Now?
Speaker 2 (22:01):
We play video games?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Now, we play video games. But eventually you're gonna get
you for like three months, probably you're gonna be like, yeah,
playing video games six hours every day, just into that routine,
like I could live. But it's gonna get old eventually,
and you're like, man, where's my purpose and fulfillment that
that I thought I had? That I had that when
we started here, and it's slowly dwindling away.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
And I think what you said, you bring up some
very important points and I think that's why that self love.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Oh sorry, that was a thunderstorm. I just started to
go boom.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
And yes, we got the storms out here. But what
was I saying. I was saying, Oh, that's the that's
the value and the beauty and self love and why
Oftentimes when I when I talk about financial literacy and education,
I have to mix in the personal growth and and
self love because one of the most important aspects to
(23:00):
acquiring wealth and building wealth. It's understanding what you want
out of life. You know, you may not need a
billion dollars to get what you want out of life.
You may need a billion dollars to get what you
want out of life.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's just you have to sit with the idea and
the ideology of what is my purpose?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What do I find value in?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
At what point in life will I say, Okay, I'm happy,
I'm content, I'm satisfied, and I'm grateful. And that's what
you go after, whether that's building wealth, whether that's personal growth,
whether that's self love. You have to take a moment
to understand what are the things in life that you
would consider successful that you would be grateful for that
(23:40):
you would say, you know what I have acquired what
I need to be comfortable and live the life that
I want to live.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Yeah, because you have. If you don't feel happy about
yourself and your life and gratitude and thankful and all like,
if you don't like yourself now, you're not gonna like
yourself when you get just the monetary stuff without the
backing it up. Also, because most people, most people don't
need much money to actually hit that. Because all of
(24:10):
us want the same things underneath, you know, freedom, happiness, health, love, connection,
not a whole lot from that. It's all emotional, it's
all feelings. We want to feel connected, we want to
feel loved, we want to feel energetic, we want to
feel happy, we want to feel healthy. We want to
(24:31):
be able to do what we want to do when
we want to do it, period, with the people we
want to do it with.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Amen, exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yeah, a lot of that doesn't cost a lot. We
want the money because we think the money is going
to get us happiness and freedom and you know, and
better relationships and love and connection. And sometimes it can
some you know, money is a tool just like anything else.
It can absolutely help, for sure. But if your kids
(25:08):
never see you and you spend fifteen twenty years trying
to build this wealth, and in that time you neglected
them and were stressed out, so you were angry and
you were short with them, and you told them no,
you don't want to go play baseball with them, and
you don't want to take them to get ice cream,
and know, go on, leave me alone, I have another
(25:29):
work call. You're not building a good relationship with the
people that are in your life, and that's just an example.
Take it and spread it as you will. But you
have to really prioritize your priorities, and to do that,
you have to know what they are. And a lot
of people we think we know what our priorities are
(25:51):
until we achieve them or really think about them. You
know how many people have gone on a diet and
been like, if I lose fifty pounds, I will be
happy with myself. So they do the work, they lose
the fifty pounds and they're like, they're still not happy.
They're still not happy when they look in the mirror.
They're still not happy with other things. The relationships are
(26:15):
still bad. They still don't feel love connected.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
So well, I agree, and like you said, you mentioned
a lot of things.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
That's why it's important to understand what it is you
want out of the journey that you're going on and
understand how that adds value and purpose into your life
and into the things you're doing and to the love
that you have for yourself. I like the shirt is
perfect for what you're saying. Everything is connected. You know,
(26:43):
your money is connected to your self love. Your self
love is connected to your personal growth. Your personal growth
is connected to your friends, your friends, is connected to
your your job, your job, like everything is connected because
at some point when you really sit down and write
out this is what I want out of life, this
is the purpose I have. I have in life, This
is the things that I need in order to fulfill
(27:03):
the purposes. The things that you align yourself with and
the actions that you take should match what you want
out of life. You know, if saying I want to
lose fifty pounds, it should be more than just I
want to lose fifty pounds so I can look good.
It's just say me looking good or me understand that
I lost this fifty pounds will let me know that
(27:23):
not only do I look good, but I understand that
I can set a goal and achieve it. I can
cross it off my list. I have the discipline to
do this, and I can take that discipline and apply
it to another area of my life. You know, like
not saying that everything has to be so meticulous, but
there does need to be a purpose for while you're
going out the goals and dreams and things of that nature.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And that's one of the things.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I definitely have ensured that along my journey, I truly
take the time to write out what am I doing things?
What is the purpose, So that way, if I ever
get to that point, I can be grateful, I can
be gratitude, have gratitude, have grace, and just be content
with you know, where I'm at and where I'm going.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Sure, how we do anything is how we do everything.
And you know, just continuing on with the diet aspect
as an example, a lot of people they'll set that
goal and they'll work really hard towards that goal for
a said amount of time, and if they achieve that goal,
a lot of them stop and then they're like, oh,
(28:29):
well I got here, and now I can go back
to eating the honeybuts and the fried chicken. And it's
like I sometimes, you know, I don't believe in deprivation.
I believe in limiting. We're having a we're having to
limit my husband's fried foods right now. It's becoming a problem,
(28:50):
like your blood pressure is giving you warnings. But that
makes sense, you know, we're not we're not trying to
deprive ourselves. We're trying to because you know, even with
the healing and the finding self love and the doing
the inner work, the playing the video games, we think
of it like, oh, I need to do less of that.
(29:14):
And it's really hard to do to stop doing something
that's already programmed into your consciousness and subconsciousness. But what's
easier is adding things in, so, you know, instead of like, oh,
you can never eat cake again, it's like, well, how
(29:35):
about we limit the cake and we just eat more carrots.
I don't care if you have to drench it and
wrench dressing. Just get the carrots into the system, you know,
get it work in the rotation of everything else, and
you just build on that, and the good crowds out
the And I don't like good and bad. I like
(29:57):
helpful and unhelpful because everything is ba. It's everything's two
sides of the same yin and yang symbol, right, you
gotta have the light in the dark both and so,
and language helps us navigate all of that. So it's
helpful and unhelpful and.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
So yeah, no, that makes sense. And my luckily, my
fiance makes some really good carrots. I've been blessed to
be able to add that to my life my diet
because I need it. And so the fact that her
carrots are just so soft and so good and they
just taste amazing I have been like you said, lemon
(30:35):
and the cakes adding more carrots good.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I love cooked carrots. I'm not a huge fan of
raw carrots, but if I slice them up super thin,
then I can eat them. And I don't mean then
like I on salads you get and like fun fry
or yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Yeah that makes sense, And I like what you said.
I have to think about them more often, not depriving
myself of things, but you know, within moderation and then
adding in the good thing, like you know for me,
you know, I have deprived myself for video games when
I could just limit it and then add in books
(31:17):
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Well, boundaries, it's creating boundaries. You have to create boundaries
with yourself, just like you have to create boundaries with
relationships and everything. And it's not about keeping things out,
but it's about allowing things to be able to be
present in your life in a healthy way. Moderation everything
(31:42):
in moderation. It's like meditation. People people always think people
are like, I can't meditate, Like, how do you cut
your brain off? How do you just silence your mind?
And know that's that's a laughable concept made by people
who aren't very good at teaching meditation. So just like this,
(32:02):
instead of trying to shut off the thoughts, you want
to crowd the problematic thoughts out with more positive, helpful things. So,
you know, like with trauma and depression and anxiety, all
of these things, you have really intrusive thoughts that come
(32:22):
in and those are what instant like escalated the issue
because your body and your nervous system can't differentiate between
what's happening now and what happened in the past or
what has never happened, and you're just worried about it
and it might Wow, the thought comes into your mind
and your body reacts to it as if it's real.
(32:46):
So if you're having these really unhelpful intrusive thoughts, step
one is awareness. You're like, oh, man, that's going on,
which is not You think it's not hard to do,
you know, like, well, of course I know it's happening,
but you don't realize like, oh, I'm doing that thing again,
(33:06):
And then what are my tools? What are my tools?
And so you crowd it out with oh, that's a
nice curtain. I'm glad I picked out that ca and
these babbles. I'm still happy with this color. Yeah, man,
it feels good to breathe. I'm so glad I can
breathe today. Just you start small, and you just you
(33:29):
refocus your mind on elsewhere. And it's hard at first,
it's super hard at first, but you just keep practicing
and you have to train your mind the same way
you train a puppy.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You have pets. I we have a cat.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yes, okay, we don't have a We're playing it on
getting a dog somewhere in the near future, but we
currently have a cat.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And you know, like you said, I feel like.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
A lot of what you said just makes a lot
of sense, because it's definitely about removing those negative thoughts
and focusing on the positive and just having grace and
giving yourself grace, giving your space, so the space to
think about the positive things in life, you know, because
it's so easy to think negatively. It takes It's almost interesting,
(34:19):
the way that our brains are set up to how
we can just so instantly and easily think about all
of the negative things, and how it's hard to sometimes
think about the positives that are out there.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Yeah, it's our survival instinct. We've survived this long like
me and you made it here because our ancestors were
really good at noticing all of the things that were
potential threats. So we evolved to notice the potential threats
because those are the ones that matter. Those are the
ones's gonna kill us and our kids, and we need
(34:51):
to be aware. So that's why the news is so
negative all the time. You don't hear about the good
you don't hear about the puppies and the kittens, all
of the good things in the world on the news,
They're only telling you about the bad things because that's
what gets reading about. M Yeah, because the negative.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Things, all of the propaganda. You hear about every negative
shift in the world. And it is like, like, that's why.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
That's why the delete social media every now and then
and take breaks, because you have to whenever it comes
to what they're putting out into the world, what they're
putting out into society and what we focus on. You know,
that's another thing, like you said, what we focus on. Yes,
it's important to be able to date and know the
dangers that are out there, but you know, let's talk
about the goods sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Yes, be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best,
assume the best.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Yes, I love I.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Love that prepare for the worst, but expecting, like I say,
expect ors some of the best, for sure.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Yeah, they say some of the happiest people live in
some of the most war torn places because every day
they're just happy to be alive every day. It's just
like they understand that life is fleeting. And that's the
funny thing about trauma is that some of the most
(36:17):
well adjusted people I know, the most adultiest adults, are
the ones with the worst childhoods, the worst upbringing, the
worst history and backstories. And then some of the most
adults that don't quite have it together yet are the
ones that had the best things as a child and
(36:39):
everything handed to them and YadA YadA, cliches whatever. I
guess it builds character. But you know, none of us want,
none of us are happy that we experienced any of it,
for sure. And it's not a just get over it
type of thing. Just to brave be happy that you
had all that happened to no man and none of
us happy about it, and that's.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Okay, that's okay, But we just learned from it a
deaf and continue pushing.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Forward, for sure.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah, you know, you have to find acceptance that it
did happen. It's like we can sit there being mad
all day long about the cards we were dealt, but
at the end of the day, we still have to
play the hand. We still have to We have the
cards that we have and might as well make the
best of it.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Right a minute, that still have to move those pieces
on the board every.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Day, every single day. So you know, again, how you
do anything is how you do and everything. And we
set these goals and we hit them, so we think,
but it doesn't fulfill the thing because we weren't after
the correct goal in the first place, the only goal,
because none of us really know what's going to happen.
You know, we can set goals, but we don't need
(37:53):
to be too terribly attached to them, because if we
get too attached to them, we're going to be very
upset when our life goes in a completely differ for direction.
But if we allow the ebb and the flow and
the flexibility, then we open ourselves up to the possibilities
of what could actually make us happy rather than what
(38:13):
we think would make us happy. You know, we're here
until we die, and you know, be happy now best
you can, because in the end, that's something that you
can work towards now is just how can I be
happy with where I'm at and what I have at
this moment and then build from there.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
I agree, I love that. I feel like that is
an amazing.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Way to think about it and a lovely reason why
I always, well, I'm not always why. I have of
lately been really finding so much value in the term grace,
just being giving yourself grace, giving yourself room to breathe,
giving yourself room to fail, giving yourself room to.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
Make mistake aches, and live life.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
And understand that it's going to come with ups and
downs and you know, adversities, but that's that's all a
part of the experience. It's a part of life, you know. Obviously,
we hopefully get to a world where there's more peace,
more love, and more care, though it's going to be
a journey, and it is important to enjoy the journey
along the way as well.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Yeah, and coming back to what you said earlier about
healing and focusing on being the best you that you can.
You know, we created this world by hurt people. Hurting people,
you know, it's just a ripples out from you. If
you're having you know, You're going to be having a
really good day and then you run into somebody, a
complete stranger at Starbucks, say, and they are really rude,
(39:49):
treated you awful, you had any altercation with them, and
then you spend the rest of your day being mad.
That's the same thing as having a good interaction with
someone and spending the rest of your day being happy.
And in that way, that's how we create. That's how
we created the world full of hate and war and
(40:11):
greed and trauma and all the not helpful things that
we're all dealing with. And then we flip it by
the same way, but in the opposite direction. But we
can't be our best selves out in the world if
we're you know, stressed out, anxious, and therefore snapping at people,
(40:32):
not in control of our emotions, saying things that we
don't mean, you know, letting the worst of us out.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
That's why I love finding values and peace and self
love and looking inside first before trying to go out
and sick on the world, because the world is going
to test you.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
It's going to test your boundaries, it's going to test your.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Ability to help make it better in every aspect of
you know, of life that we can think about, and
so what you said makes a lot of sense, you know,
being able to change the trajectory of our future by
instilling those you know, morals of loving ourselves, loving our neighbors,
and just really being better humans, being the best versions
(41:17):
of ourselves.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's why I work so hard.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
And one of the like say, one of the key
reasons that I said in the beginning is to be
the best version of myself. I feel like if everybody
just focused on being the best version of themselves instead
of trying to you know, tell other people to be
the best version of themselves, the world will probably be
a little bit better.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
For sure, without perfectionism though because for perfectionism becomes problematic.
Also because again the yin and the yang, the dark
and the light. Every single one of us has a
dark side that we battle with, you know, and that's
being human. Being humans sucks a lot a lot of them, definitely,
(41:57):
But as bad as it is, it can also be
that good and better.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Oh, I definitely can, especially you know, when you take
the time, like the way we're talking about, to hell
and find video games, or take trips, or spend time
with family and friends, and you know, do those things
that matter.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Mm hmm. All right, where are you at?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
I'm currently in Florida.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Okay, cool yourself. I'm in Alabama, so we're not too terrible.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Okay, Oh that's nice. So your your husband live up
in Alabama.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
That's amazing. At what part? I have family in Montgomery?
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Okay, we're the Athensonspital area.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
So super north most far north Alabama. You can get almost.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, I'm dying in Melbourne, Florida. Okay.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I saw you were traveling a little bit doing podcasts
as well. You get to do that.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
So when I first started the podcast, it was I'm
doing a little bit more virtually, but it was all
you know, in person at first, though, I just moved.
So I'm still trying to get used to the area.
I don't know many people, so I still do. I
have done two episodes so far in person, so I
still do in person, but you know, I've been venturing
into the virtual space as well.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Well. It's a lot easier just to do virtual.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Yeah. I like both set ups. You know.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Oh it's fun, it's fun, but as a parent, it's
just a lot to deal with. You have you have?
You have at least you have some a child, right,
I have a daughter yet, Okay, I thought I had
heard or read or something. All of my notes got
deleted because it took a I use my emails as notes.
I don't actually take the notes from my emails and
(43:45):
put them elsewhere. And if you get a train of
emails that are too long and go on for a
length of time, they start them just Google starts deleting
the old ones, and I'm like, wait, wait, I need those.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, it doesn't necessarily, I don't think it.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Somebody you have, there's like the three dots that you
have to click on in order to like open up
the messages further and further.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I don't know why it said up it has it has.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
A limit though. I found that out. There's a limit
because I was trying to go back and look at
my note my find your links and stuff. So you're
gonna have to send me your links and everything again
that I can put them in the show.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
I can definitely do that.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
How old is your daughter?
Speaker 2 (44:25):
She's eight?
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Okay? Cool, I have a I have a seven year
old little girl and she just turns seven. On Valentine's
Day and then yeah, and my son turns ten I
next Sunday, okay, one week from today, so oh that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
My daughter turns nine Monday, oh wow, Monday after not
this Monday, but the Monday after your son's birthday, so.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
They have very close birthdays.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Also, yes, there are something else?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Do you get into astrology at all?
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Yes? I love astrology?
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Okay, I'm a scorpio, so I I feel like, you know,
I've learned so much about myself or my self self
love journey through study in astrology and understand how I
can you know, be impacted by it?
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Sure? Yeah, I tell people all the time because you know,
it gets a reputation for being woo woo and yeah
a pseudoscience. Okay, sure, And at the end of the day,
it really doesn't matter if you believe if the planets
influence you, You're not they do. But it's a good
prospective tool. Just look anything else, you know, when you
(45:45):
don't know where to start in healing and figuring out
who you are and your purpose and what fulfills you,
astrology is a great tool to just Okay, so your
scorpio and you look up all of the aspects to scorpio,
and you just take what resonates and you leave the rest,
and oftentimes it triggers thoughts, and it triggers thoughts brought
(46:09):
up from your subconscious because you know, all of the
answers are within and uh, you know the you have
all the answers inside of you, and uh, but you
got to figure out how to dig them out of
the subconscious. And it's a really that's a really good
way to do it is letting it shrudge up anything.
(46:30):
It's like, oh, okay, so that's why I do that
is because of that. Well, it all makes sense as
long as you're not using it an escapegoat.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
And you said to something very important to ask, like
you said, like you said, you take what resonates and
leave what doesn't. And I feel like that's oftentimes why
people develop biases and struggle with things, and because it
oftentimes we go to places looking for Okay, if this
doesn't give me everything I need, then it must not
(47:01):
be true or I can't believe it, or things like that,
because it's that one thing that you can't take away.
But you know, if you actually, like you said, just
take what matters to you or what you feel connects
with you and aligns with you and leave the rest,
you know. But like you said, just I feel like
looking at astrology and understanding scorpios have have helped me,
(47:21):
you know, think about so much because a lot of
the things make sense, and I feel like a lot
of the things that I listen to and read and
study about scorpios, I'm like, yep, that's me, Yep, that's me.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yep, that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
And then even you know, you read like you find
little communities too, because you find other scorpios who are like, oh,
I want to do that, I want to do this,
and y'all all have similar stories and similar feelings, similar emotions,
similar you know, it all makes sense. And even the
people who aren't scorpios talk about scorpios and they all
have like similar stories for dealing with scorpiods and things
(47:54):
like that. So it's like it must be have some
truth to it if all of these people from who've
never met have similar experiences and connects, and really, it
must be some type of truth to it.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Absolutely, there's a lot of layers to it. And however
you find community is exactly how you should find community. Yeah,
we always want to. We always want to be very
rigid in the you know, putting things in boxes is
the human way. But everything in reality is much more
(48:31):
abstract than we allow it to be, much more ebb
and flow.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
In.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I'm really interested in languages in cultures, and our English
Western speaking world is more linear, and it has a
start and a finish, and everything's very calm, crete, and
(49:02):
it's like A plus B equals c the end always
and then. So that's the Newtonian logic that's tied to
in the English language and the Western world, whereas in
the Eastern cultures, Japan, China, those areas, they have a
(49:25):
paradoxical logic logic, So theirs is more circular. It's well, yes,
a plus B equal C, but sometimes a plus b
equals F, and sometimes a plus b equals y, and
sometimes it equals z. So they're much more flexible and
abstract and flowy with their just everything, their culture, their
(49:49):
way of thinking, and they're more community like. It's just
it comes full circle. It comes to the all connectedness.
Because I could go on for another hour about that.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
So of itself, no, I like that, I like that
understanding and thank you for sharing. It makes a lot
of sense, especially when you think about other languages. You
mentioned you're learning in Spanish. I'm also working on learning
Spanish and French. So you learned just how you know
different the languages are and how they have impact on
(50:25):
cultures and communication and things like that. It makes so
way of sense.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
Yeah, I took three years of Spanish and came out
with the vocabulary of like a two year old. I
knew words, but I couldn't put any sentences together. In fact,
a two year old could probably speak way better than
I could. And then when I got I was in
college or just gotten out of college somewhere around in there.
(50:51):
Rosetta Stone was the only way you could learn a
language at that point in time. So I was like, Okay,
I'm going to get Spanish. And then the it came
in like a really thick pack of like five DVDs
or five CDs that you put in your PC, and
I don't know, my PC doesn't even takes anymore, so
(51:11):
that's moot. But I was gonna get Spanish, and my
friend that I had at that time was like, let's
get French and learn it together. I was like, that
makes no sense. Why do we need to know French.
Like maybe if we were in the Northern States, it'd
be a little bit it'd make a little bit more sense.
But every third person around here speaks Spanish. We need
(51:35):
to learn Spanish. And she was like French. I was
like Spanish, and may being the people pleaser, I am
the I'm the chill friend that just okay, Sure we
got French. Spent like two years learning that, so I
know just enough French to miss up my Spanish because
(51:56):
they're so similar. But they say once you get one
down pat or you know, uh when, because they're all Latin,
they're both Latin based. Once you get once you get
fluent in one, it makes it a lot easier to
learn the third, and you kind of just pick up
the third. Not a big deal because again they're very similar.
(52:17):
There's just differences in a few things. So I'm hoping
to eventually get to that point and we can full
circle learn French too and be killingual. That'd be cool.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
That would that would be amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:30):
And I do see some of the similarities and as
I'm learning French, because I did learn a little bit
of Spanish throughout college and high school, that my daughter's
also Hispanic, so I learn a little bit from their
language as well, so I do see the full circle moment.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, yeah, I think we should all learn more languages
because it opens your mind to different ways of thinking,
for sure, because our language creates our world and that's
why affirmations are important and stuff.
Speaker 2 (53:02):
Definitely all right.
Speaker 1 (53:05):
Well, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you
for coming on. I'm glad we finally made it work.
Speaker 3 (53:10):
Of course, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Savin,
and I truly appreciate the time and the amazing conversation.
Speaker 1 (53:17):
Yeah, tell everybody where they can find you, awesome.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
So again, my name is Ashton Young.
Speaker 3 (53:23):
You can find me everywhere LinkedIn Facebook, Instagram everywhere, on
YouTube as Ashton Young. And then I have a podcast
called peerra Vital Wealth Podcast and you can find that
if you just search peer Ravita, which is that Suspanish
name by the way that I got from Costa.
Speaker 2 (53:39):
Rica, So it's p U r a v I d
a Wealth.
Speaker 3 (53:43):
So peer vital Wealth on Instagram, all streaming platforms, YouTube, Facebook, everywhere,
and so those are the two places you can find
me the most awesome.
Speaker 1 (53:53):
And you're gonna email me all of those so that
I can drop them in the show notes, so that yes,
have to look very far or work very hard to
get to you.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Awesome, sounds lovely. I'll get that to you. If not tonight,
definitely in the morning.
Speaker 1 (54:07):
Okay, all right, well, thank you so much, my
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Pleasure, thank you,
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