December 20, 2023 • 24 mins
The Aldrich Family was a beloved American radio sitcom that ran from 1939 to 1953. It chronicled the everyday lives of the middle-class Aldrich family living on Elm Street in Centerville, USA. The show captured the hearts of listeners with its relatable humor, wholesome values, and endearing characters. Key Characters:
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
- Jim and Alice Aldrich: The parents, portrayed as loving and supportive, navigating the joys and challenges of raising a family.
- Henry Aldrich: The teenage son, known for his awkwardness, teenage angst, and well-meaning but often bumbling attempts at being cool.
- Barbara Aldrich: The witty and sarcastic daughter, navigating teenage relationships and school life with an independent spirit.
- Homer Brown: The family's next-door neighbor and Henry's best friend, a loyal but mischievous character who often adds to the comedic chaos.
- Other recurring characters: Aunt Harriet, Grandpa Aldrich, and various classmates and friends added depth and humor to the show's universe.
- Situational comedy: The show relied on everyday situations, family dynamics, and teenage misadventures for its humor. Misunderstandings, physical mishaps, and Henry's awkward attempts at coolness were a constant source of laughs.
- Wholesome values: Despite the humor, the show promoted positive values like family love, honesty, responsibility, and respect. Lessons were often subtly woven into the storylines, resonating with audiences of all ages.
- Nostalgia factor: For many listeners, the show evoked a sense of nostalgia for a simpler time, providing a warm and comforting escape from the realities of their own lives.
- Pop culture influence: The Aldrich Family was one of the most popular radio sitcoms of its time, spawning eleven B-grade films and a television adaptation that ran from 1949 to 1953.
- Enduring appeal: Even today, the show's timeless humor and characters continue to resonate with audiences, with episodes available online and in radio archives.
- Radio history landmark: The show helped shape the golden age of radio sitcoms, paving the way for future classic comedies like "I Love Lucy" and "The Honeymooners."
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The Aldridge Family, based on charactersoriginated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone
as Henry, with Jackie Kelch asHomer. Henry Henry Aldrich come mother for
(00:25):
the Aldridge family. Most of usremember our teenage as something that was always
bright and shiny and rather wonderful.But to Henry Aldrich, who was right
(00:48):
in the middle of his teenage,life is not always that attractive. The
scene opens in the Aldrich living room. It is the afternoon of the last
day of the year. You are, thought, you really are. Certainly,
Mary may I asked, what's sounusual about taking your mother to a
masquerade on New Year's Eve? ButFather, did you know that people danced
at ninth grade? Certainly? Iknow. Oh what do you mean?
(01:11):
Oh nothing, Mary, I'll beright back. Father, all right,
Why are you mother in the diningroom? And dear, I was just
wondering how you and Kermit were goingto spend this evening, didn't I tell
you? Mother? Oh my goodness, I'm so thrilled. Really, I
guess Kermit's just about the most thoughtfulperson in the whole world. My where's
he taking you? No place?No place? Just coming over here where
(01:36):
we can be all by ourselves,with just each other. Why isn't that
thoughtful of him? Well? Yes, dear, of course. Goodness,
When I think of all the poorgirls with boyfriends can't think of anything better
to do than throw their money aroundand never get a romantic foot in their
lives, why doesn't your heart bleedfor them? It certainly does, Mary,
and I know just how you feel. Your father was always very thoughtful
(02:00):
way too. Did you know he'splanning on actually dancing tonight? Dear?
Your father's been dancing for twenty fiveyears. That's what I need. Won't
you think he get tired? Mygoodness, I never thought of that.
I wonder excuse me, Mary,Oh Sam, it do you think I
should take something for kermit? Aslong as you stick to macaroons? Mary,
(02:22):
as I'm trying to read. Iknow, dear, but I just
got to thinking about about what.Sam. Are you sure you want to
go to that masquerade tonight? Ofcourse I'm sure. Why do you ask?
Well, it's just are you sureyou aren't getting tired? Tired?
After all these years tired? Alice, these years with you have been the
(02:42):
happiest of my life. What,dear, I'm talking about the masquerade.
Oh well, well, Alice.When you first mentioned the masquarade, I
may not have been too enthusiastic,but now I'm really looking forward to it.
You are did not only that?I promised i'd take you and Alice.
When I give my word, Ikeep it. Father. Yes,
Henry, I'm in the living room. I'm trying to read. Do you
go right on in your reading?Sam? It's nice and RESTful for you.
(03:04):
What that? Father? I've turnedthe whole house upside down, and
you're my last hope. I am? Gee was do you know where my
shin pads are? Shin pad?What do you want them for? I'm
taking them to the hockey game tonight, Father, and have the autographed I'm
afraid I haven't seen them. Son. You haven't. By the way,
Father, what are you planning onwearing tonight? I don't know yet,
Henry. Mister and missus Brown arelooking out for the costumes. You're wearing
(03:24):
a costume? Certainly you are,Father, you really are, Yes,
I am. And I'm also goingto dance, you are, I am.
You're going to dance to the thinglike a hockey game. But well,
yeah, you know the game youpromised? Do you take me to
tonight? When did I promise athing like that? Why? Just before
(03:45):
Christmas? Father, when you couldn'ttake me to that basketball game, you
promise, and you said the verynext time there was a hockey game,
no matter if the world came toan end, we'd go. Yeah.
Well, Henry, Henry, Ijust want you to know that there's nothing
I'd rather do than take you tothat hockey game. And why and then
Lucky I reminded you, yes,especially since I already turned down three different
(04:09):
New Year's Eve parties. Oh youdid, sure, And none of the
kids would believe me when I toldthem how my father thought enough of me,
Tony, to turn over the entireend of his old year to me.
Henry, Henry, would you excuseme a minute, Alice, Alice,
Yeah, the Browns didn't phone,did they. Brown They said they
(04:30):
get all the costumes. And mygoodness, it's the middle of the afternoon
now, Alice, Alice, Ijust got a wonderful idea you did,
Dear. Why don't we put onour coats and hats, say next Saturday
night and go down to the mansionhouse for dinner? Why, Sam,
go dancing afterwards, you know,really make a night of it. Sam,
you did, you're like that?Like you? Why? Sam?
(04:51):
I'd the door by then, Alice, And dear, I think you get
more thoughtful every day. Well,my goodness, how many husbands realize how
tired we wild get eating our owncooking all the time? Alice. What
I had in mind was that wewould do that in place of going to
the masquerade tonight. But dear,I've been looking forward to this masquerade.
(05:13):
Well, look, Alice, whydon't we make a night of it,
not just next Saturday, but everySaturday night in the year. What do
you know, make a regular datathen, my goodness, instead of going
to the masquerade tonight. Well,naturally, Sam, if you're feeling your
age, of course I won't dragyou out. Alice. I am not
feeling my age, so dear,suddenly you do look awfully Hagen. I'll
(05:36):
look for it. Mary. ButAlice, oh, Henry, yes,
Henry. You know Henry, whenI wasn't able to take you to that
basketball game, well, I wasa very good example of the way things
have been in nineteen forty eight.But not next year now, No,
sir, next year's son is goingto be a big change. You and
(05:59):
I are going to be closer.We are we are. See that's swell,
father, And boy, what aswell way to start the new year
off going to a hockey game together. Well, this is still nineteen forty
eight, Henry. Why start anew regime tonight? Why not started?
Say any night next week that youname next? Sure, but and we'll
go out on the town and havethe time of our lives. We will
(06:21):
absolutely even if, even if,even if the world comes to an end.
Yes, well, sure, that'sokay, father, Fine, now
you're sure? Are your son sure? Sure that that's what you'd rather do?
I mean, I don't want toappear to be forcing you into anything.
(06:42):
No, it's okay, father.After all, hockey is rather the
strenuous form of amusement for a manof my age. Well, I mean
sure, father, I understand youreally do. Well, I'll find somebody
younger to go with. Why but, Homer, Homer, are you still
(07:06):
there? Sure? How about it? Nothing doing? Henry? Oh?
Look, Homer? Who really wantsto go to Willie's party on New Year's
z? I do do you sitaround play stupid games, wear your feet
out, dancing and watch a lotof dumb girls watching you to see if
you're watching them. But boy,you go to a hockey game, See,
(07:28):
and they're all these swell players,and there's this little piece of rubber,
sure, and all they do ischase it around. They do a
lot more than that. Boy,They trip up each other with their sticks
and push each other into the sidewarks. Sometimes a player even lands in your
life, in my life, sure, no kidding, Sure, I'd rather
go to the party. But ahomer and you can go to the hockey
(07:49):
game all by myself. Sure,I just think you'd have one seat to
sit in, one seat for anyplayer that might land there. See,
that wouldn't be any fun. Well, I'd like to boom around with your
hand only che hockey game. Isn'tthere anything you'd rather do than go to
Willie's party? Well, what I'dreally like is to go to that masquerade.
(08:11):
Masquerade. Sure that our folks aregoing to see they're giving prizes and
everything. Well, then why don'twe both go? Do you need money
to rent costumes? Look, Homber, my father gave me an extra dollar,
and if I could sell my hockeytickets, i'd have enough money.
How could you sell them. Atthis late date, everybody will have plans
for the sake of your new year, Homer. The least I can do
(08:31):
is try Hello, Hello, Sam? Oh, Hello, there will everything
all set for the mascarade? Youbet your Sam? Fine? Just the
thought of getting out on the dancefloor makes me feel like a boy.
(08:52):
I guess, Sam, I phoneto tell you we have the costumes.
Good? What are they? We'regoing as the fourth seasons of the year
on good idea? Well, yourwinter, but your winter, sam?
Oh? I am you wear along white beard, seeing you even have
a cane. Ok. Sure,so you won't even have to dance,
Sam, All you have to dois hobble around all evening. I see.
(09:16):
Well, well, I'm just glad. I'm glad you like the idea,
Sam Oh I do, I do? Indeed, what are you?
Well, I'm summer summer? Isee, well, so long, we'll
get together later and try the costumeson bye, goodbye? Well? Yes,
Sam, Alice howl is well brown? Why? I'm not sure?
Is here a couple of years olderthan I am? Yes? I believe
(09:39):
he is. Why? What's thematter? Nothing else? Nothing at all,
but Homer, listen to reason andme stand in the sock. Where
are you going? Oh but Homer, it's the only costume he has left.
It isn't my It isn't my falleither, and I refuse to have
(10:01):
anything to do with But I've alreadysold my hockey tickets home, and you
promised you'd go to the masquerade withme, not in this costume. Why
can't go in alone? Listen,Henry, I'm not being the back end
of any horse. And that's that. It's that all. It's worrying.
Look, you can be the frontend. No, I'm not starting the
new year by being any part ofa horse but a home Henry, I
(10:24):
said, no, Do you thinkI want to dance with you all evening?
Back to front? Sam? Whatare you trying to say? Simply
this, Alice, that some timeago I gave Henry my word i'd go
to a hockey game with him thisevening. But Sam, what about the
(10:45):
brown? That's unfortunate, Alice.But the more I think about it,
the more I feel my first dutyis to my son. But think of
how disappointed they'll be. No,and I'm sorry, but they'll just have
to find themselves another winter. Sam, What do you mean right? Nothing?
And what about me, Alice.I'm sorry about that, but I'll
make it up to you next week. Did you mean I have to stay
home tonight with Mary and Kermit?Mother? You do right here in this
(11:07):
house? Yes, Mary, youmean right in the living room. Excuse
me, I'd better phone the brock. But Mother, that's all right,
Mary, I won't bother you andKermit. I can fix myself up very
comfortably in the kitchen. In thekitchen, I'll be fine. Mary.
I'll take an armchair out there andjust knit. My goodness, we wouldn't
think of letting you do a thinglike that. Well, Mary, if
(11:28):
you really don't object, to bringthe radio out in the kitchen for you,
Mary, do you mean to sayyou really banish your own mother to
the kitchen on New Year's Eve?Mother? Yes, Henry, here's anyone
phone for me while I was out, No, dear, no one at
all, not even Homer. NoHenry, Oh, Henray, Yes,
Father, I've been looking for you. Mother. You don't understand. Yes
(11:52):
I do, Mary, I understandperfectly. Henry. I have news for
you. You mean Homer changed hismind about going with me? Henry,
I am going with you. Youare, Yes, sir, I've managed
to change my other plans and sodone. You can count me yet I
can. That's definite. Farther itis. I may have been forced to
go back on my word a fewtimes in the past, but not anymore,
Henry. Oh boy, then let'stry it on the costume. I
(12:16):
have a ride down in the hall, father, and boy, it's the
best durned looking horse you ever saw. Horse. Now, wait a minute,
I thought we were going to ahockey game. Not anymore, father,
We're going to the masquerade instead.It is a whore. Now wait,
you're in the back end. Nowwait, you just promised. Fine,
I know, but I thought,Henry, you don't expect me to
walk around all evening sad over double. But father, I'm not a young
(12:39):
man, Henry. Probably you meanyou're backing out again. No, but
after you said we were going tobe closer this year, not that close.
(13:07):
Yes, Getting back to the troublesof Henry Aldridge, Mister and Missus
Aldridge had made arrangements to attend theNew Year's He've Masquerade with the Browns.
When Henry informed his father of apromise to take him to a hockey game
tonight. Due to his efforts tokeep his word to everyone, mister Aldridge
has now wound up as the hindend of a horse. The scene opens
(13:30):
in the Browns living room. Itis late the same afternoon. Mother,
would youphone William Marshall for me?What poor Holmer? Tell him? And
looks as though I'm gonna recover andI'll be able to go to his party
tonight after all, recover from whatmy pneumonia? My pneumonia? What pneumonia?
My mother? He thinks I'm stayinghome with pneumonia instead of going to
his New Year's party. You're notgoing to go to his party? I
(13:52):
told him I wasn't she was.I'll be durned if I'll be a whore,
Homer, just because your horse isno reason to think you're coming down
with pneumonia. Just go and gargle, dear, But mother, Homer,
dude, is you're told? Can'tyou see? I'm busy thinking more?
Okay, But gargling isn't gonna straightenme out with Willie. Dear, you
just have to have faith, faith, I know, But who out of
(14:13):
my way? Pooh? Mother?Mother? But what's mother? There's a
tree out in our hall and itspoke to me. Oh dear, that's
no tree, that's your father,and get off my lap here. I
am Elizabeth? How do I look? Fathers? Are really you sure?
I'm summer? You're a wife.I'm summer Summer? Oh boy, we'll
(14:37):
stop fooling arrived with that costume andhelp me find us. Bring in winter,
poo, bring and winter? DidI just backed out? What's that
she was? I'm going upstairs andlie dow, Elizabeth? What do you
mean they backed out? Will theorder gypsuff? He decided they can't come
the masquerade to night? Well,I shall fine, fright now, we'll
calm down. You're shedding your leavesthe phone. But elizabeth' what are we
(15:00):
going to do? We can't gojustice food seasons? Will. I've been
trying to think how we could convertour costumes, trying to say he hoped.
Oh hello, hello, Elizabeth,this is Sam or rich Sam.
You'll never know how disappointed we are. Well, that's what I called about.
Even if I can't make it,do you think you could still fit
Alice in a spring? Well?The only thing is Sam, wouldn't the
(15:20):
three of us look a little awkwardwithout winter? Nonsense? Elizabeth if there's
one season you can dispense with,it's certainly winter. Well maybe we could
work out something. What I appreciateit, Elizabeth? Goodbye? Goodbye,
Elizabeth. Was that's Sam on thephone. Yes, he wants to know
we could fit Alice in his spring? You mean all by herself? But
who will we get us winter?I haven't any idea unless yeah, will
(15:43):
I've got it? What? He'snot going anywhere to night? Oh,
Homer, Yes, come down hereand try all this beard? Father,
would you hold the horse's tail stilla minute? Henry, what are you
(16:03):
doing? Well? The trouble iswhen I put my head in first,
my feet won't go in by puttingyour feet in first? Are your feet
in? Father? Yes? MaybeI should sort of bend over. Mother,
What happened behind? Legs are stickingstraight up in the air. Yes,
and I'm all my back. Well, maybe that's the way to do
it. We both lie on ourback seat and stick all our four feet
(16:26):
up in the air. Now,wait a minute, See it's gonna be
fun, father, Dad answer thephone. Well, I'll fry. I'll
get it. Father, Henry,stop pulling my leg. That's my leg?
Father? Hello, Hello, that'syour leg over there it is,
Well, whose arm is this?Uh? No, wait wait, given
anybody go an ask the fall?Oh, Henry, let's take one leg
(16:48):
at a pie. Hello? Hello? Is that you married? Yes?
Is that you can it? Yes? Hello? Hello? Lie? It
was nice tell you the phone.Mary, I have some news for you.
You have. I have news foryou too, Kermit. You have
what is it? You tell meyour no? You tell me your no?
(17:10):
Well, first of all, Imade something wonderful for you to eat
tonight. You did. That's wonderfulbecause frankly, Mary, I am getting
a little tired of macaroons. Ah, oh my goodness, And not that
I'm not crazy about your macaroons.Mary. It's all right, kirmity,
goodbye. Yes, I have togo, and that is yes. But
Mary, I haven't told you mindnews. Well could you tell me quickly?
Sure? We're going to a hockeygame tonight? For hockey game?
(17:34):
Yeah, and death to save methe ticket, kmita hockey game on New
Year's eave. Yeah, isn't thatswell? Mary? Mary? Are you
there? Yes? But my goodness, I was looking forward to to wa
Kermit. If you don't know,I'm certainly not going to tell you and
goodbye Mary? What's all the commotionon you? I did you manage just
(17:55):
to eat? You're all the sameyou, Mary? What did I know?
I think I've got that worse lickfather, Henry, you can forget
about that horse, forget them boutit. I can see your heart isn't
in it? Son. No,where are those hockey tickets? I haven't
got the ill get them. WhenI say I'm going to take you to
a hockey game, Henry, thenthat's what I'm going to do. But
I'm not going to palm off amascarade on you instead. But Father,
I can't get the hockey tickets.I sold them to Kerman. What I
(18:21):
see? Excuse me, Henry,Father, you mean you're going to change
your mind again? Alice? Well, look, would you like one to
narrate macaroons? Here? No?Thank you, Alice. I've been thinking
it over, thinking what over?And while I made a promise to Henry,
I also made a promise to you. Yes, but Henry's young,
(18:41):
He'll get over it. What asyou? What as you? Whereas I
thought, Alice, would you explainto Henry that you insist I go to
the masquerade with you? But dearI can't. You can't what I can't
insist? Now? What do youmean? Elizabeth just phoned me in I'm
going with someone else? But Alice, do you mean to say you're going
out tonight with some other man?Well, Dear, I don't know.
(19:04):
Elizabeth said it would be a surprise. It's pretty unbelievable. Why then you're
jealous us? Why I'm not?No, you hadn't a thing to worry
about. Alice here to call thewhole thing off immediately, I'd give him
my will, And Dear, I'msure that once I've made a promise,
you wouldn't want me to break it. All. Everything's all settled. You
(19:32):
and I are going to that masqueradeas a horse, But father, I
thought you didn't want to. OnlyI'm going as a front end, you
understand. But I can keep aneye on what I can watch, what
I can see, what's going on. But see, whiz, father,
you're too late. But look,I just got the hockey tickets back from
Carmen. The hockey ticket. SureI've traded them something for them? Can
(19:53):
you certainly have your nerves? ButMary, who said you wanted us to
be secluded? And saw it inall my life, But no, or
you can be the front of himjust a minute. What's going on here?
I can tell your father, misterAldrich, would you try to explain
something to marry for me? Herman, I'm not dumb. I don't eat
anything explained to mister Aldrich. I'lljust stay out of there. But mister
(20:14):
Aldrich, you're better at managing womenthan I out of Oh, you know
everybody? How do you like mycostume? I've given you one last chance
here and now to break your dates. Mother, you have a day,
yes, dear with a man?Missus Aldrochel Kermit? What's wrong with that?
Yes? Kermit? With a man? Mother? A man? Day?
Al Homer, we're busy? Youare you mean you can't go with
(20:38):
me? God heaven could you?She was? Homer? Where'd you get
that beard? You mean? You'reyou're sure? I'm winter? Are you
letting? Father? Father? Howdo you feel now? How do I
(21:12):
look? Henry? Frankly terrible?Then? You know how I feel?
The only thing is there's only aboutten minutes left in nineteen forty eight?
Yes, wouldn't it be a betteromen if you saw the new year in
with a smile? Rhap? You'reright, Father, you gonna sit up
now, I'm gonna try it.It's a darn good hockey game, wasn't
(21:33):
it? Father? Yes? Son, it was until they carried me out.
See that player who got thrown intoyour lap? I think it did
him good. Well, I'm gladto hear it. Sure, he just
dusted himself off and jumped back onthe ice and scored the winning goal.
Good for him? Now, pleasehave me that mistake again. Sure?
(21:56):
And how's your eye coming along?Father? She was there the phone.
You stay right where you are,her father all the time, Thank you
and me? Hello, Hello,Henry? How is the hockey game?
Boy? Mother? Was the bestone I ever went to. That's a
masquerade, just lovely, Dear?Did you win the grand prize? No,
dear, Homer upset the whole applecord when he discovered his dear it
(22:18):
was made of sponge sugar. Whathappened? He ate it? And Henry,
may at least seek to your father, father. Mother wants you on
the phone. Mother, who didwin the prize? Mary? And Kermit?
Everyone thought they made a wonderful horsethan your mother. Henry? Sure,
Father, you see who's at thedoor? Sun? Sure? From
Hello Alice? Sam, I justwanted to be the first one to say
(22:41):
Happy New Year to you. Oh, thank you, Alice, and the
same to you. Are you havinga good time? Frankly, they're not
as good a time as if youwere here, Alice. I'm going to
make everything up to you. Ihaven't forgotten the promise that nature, dear
you really mean we'll go out someplaceevery Saturday night for the whole year as
well. My goodness, I'm certainlylooking forward to nineteen forty nine. Father,
(23:04):
oh father, Just a minute,altis, Father gets who was at
the door? Who the man froma hockey rink? And he wanted to
know how your black eye was.And just to show there's no hard feelings,
Look what he gave us a seasonpast to all the hockey games.
What's that every Saturday night for thewhole year, every Saturday at midnight.
(23:26):
But Happy New Year, Sam,Happy New Year, Father, Yeah,
well, Happy New Year. Listenagain next week, same time, same
(24:02):
station, for another sparkling half hourwith your favorite youngster, his family and
his pals. The Old Garring EzraStone is written by Clifford Goldsmith,
The Aldridge Family, based on charactersoriginated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone
as Henry, with Jackie Kelch asHomer. Henry Henry Aldrich come mother for
(00:25):
the Aldridge family. Most of usremember our teenage as something that was always
bright and shiny and rather wonderful.But to Henry Aldrich, who was right
(00:48):
in the middle of his teenage,life is not always that attractive. The
scene opens in the Aldrich living room. It is the afternoon of the last
day of the year. You are, thought, you really are. Certainly,
Mary may I asked, what's sounusual about taking your mother to a
masquerade on New Year's Eve? ButFather, did you know that people danced
at ninth grade? Certainly? Iknow. Oh what do you mean?
(01:11):
Oh nothing, Mary, I'll beright back. Father, all right,
Why are you mother in the diningroom? And dear, I was just
wondering how you and Kermit were goingto spend this evening, didn't I tell
you? Mother? Oh my goodness, I'm so thrilled. Really, I
guess Kermit's just about the most thoughtfulperson in the whole world. My where's
he taking you? No place?No place? Just coming over here where
(01:36):
we can be all by ourselves,with just each other. Why isn't that
thoughtful of him? Well? Yes, dear, of course. Goodness,
When I think of all the poorgirls with boyfriends can't think of anything better
to do than throw their money aroundand never get a romantic foot in their
lives, why doesn't your heart bleedfor them? It certainly does, Mary,
and I know just how you feel. Your father was always very thoughtful
(02:00):
way too. Did you know he'splanning on actually dancing tonight? Dear?
Your father's been dancing for twenty fiveyears. That's what I need. Won't
you think he get tired? Mygoodness, I never thought of that.
I wonder excuse me, Mary,Oh Sam, it do you think I
should take something for kermit? Aslong as you stick to macaroons? Mary,
(02:22):
as I'm trying to read. Iknow, dear, but I just
got to thinking about about what.Sam. Are you sure you want to
go to that masquerade tonight? Ofcourse I'm sure. Why do you ask?
Well, it's just are you sureyou aren't getting tired? Tired?
After all these years tired? Alice, these years with you have been the
(02:42):
happiest of my life. What,dear, I'm talking about the masquerade.
Oh well, well, Alice.When you first mentioned the masquarade, I
may not have been too enthusiastic,but now I'm really looking forward to it.
You are did not only that?I promised i'd take you and Alice.
When I give my word, Ikeep it. Father. Yes,
Henry, I'm in the living room. I'm trying to read. Do you
go right on in your reading?Sam? It's nice and RESTful for you.
(03:04):
What that? Father? I've turnedthe whole house upside down, and
you're my last hope. I am? Gee was do you know where my
shin pads are? Shin pad?What do you want them for? I'm
taking them to the hockey game tonight, Father, and have the autographed I'm
afraid I haven't seen them. Son. You haven't. By the way,
Father, what are you planning onwearing tonight? I don't know yet,
Henry. Mister and missus Brown arelooking out for the costumes. You're wearing
(03:24):
a costume? Certainly you are,Father, you really are, Yes,
I am. And I'm also goingto dance, you are, I am.
You're going to dance to the thinglike a hockey game. But well,
yeah, you know the game youpromised? Do you take me to
tonight? When did I promise athing like that? Why? Just before
(03:45):
Christmas? Father, when you couldn'ttake me to that basketball game, you
promise, and you said the verynext time there was a hockey game,
no matter if the world came toan end, we'd go. Yeah.
Well, Henry, Henry, Ijust want you to know that there's nothing
I'd rather do than take you tothat hockey game. And why and then
Lucky I reminded you, yes,especially since I already turned down three different
(04:09):
New Year's Eve parties. Oh youdid, sure, And none of the
kids would believe me when I toldthem how my father thought enough of me,
Tony, to turn over the entireend of his old year to me.
Henry, Henry, would you excuseme a minute, Alice, Alice,
Yeah, the Browns didn't phone,did they. Brown They said they
(04:30):
get all the costumes. And mygoodness, it's the middle of the afternoon
now, Alice, Alice, Ijust got a wonderful idea you did,
Dear. Why don't we put onour coats and hats, say next Saturday
night and go down to the mansionhouse for dinner? Why, Sam,
go dancing afterwards, you know,really make a night of it. Sam,
you did, you're like that?Like you? Why? Sam?
(04:51):
I'd the door by then, Alice, And dear, I think you get
more thoughtful every day. Well,my goodness, how many husbands realize how
tired we wild get eating our owncooking all the time? Alice. What
I had in mind was that wewould do that in place of going to
the masquerade tonight. But dear,I've been looking forward to this masquerade.
(05:13):
Well, look, Alice, whydon't we make a night of it,
not just next Saturday, but everySaturday night in the year. What do
you know, make a regular datathen, my goodness, instead of going
to the masquerade tonight. Well,naturally, Sam, if you're feeling your
age, of course I won't dragyou out. Alice. I am not
feeling my age, so dear,suddenly you do look awfully Hagen. I'll
(05:36):
look for it. Mary. ButAlice, oh, Henry, yes,
Henry. You know Henry, whenI wasn't able to take you to that
basketball game, well, I wasa very good example of the way things
have been in nineteen forty eight.But not next year now, No,
sir, next year's son is goingto be a big change. You and
(05:59):
I are going to be closer.We are we are. See that's swell,
father, And boy, what aswell way to start the new year
off going to a hockey game together. Well, this is still nineteen forty
eight, Henry. Why start anew regime tonight? Why not started?
Say any night next week that youname next? Sure, but and we'll
go out on the town and havethe time of our lives. We will
(06:21):
absolutely even if, even if,even if the world comes to an end.
Yes, well, sure, that'sokay, father, Fine, now
you're sure? Are your son sure? Sure that that's what you'd rather do?
I mean, I don't want toappear to be forcing you into anything.
(06:42):
No, it's okay, father.After all, hockey is rather the
strenuous form of amusement for a manof my age. Well, I mean
sure, father, I understand youreally do. Well, I'll find somebody
younger to go with. Why but, Homer, Homer, are you still
(07:06):
there? Sure? How about it? Nothing doing? Henry? Oh?
Look, Homer? Who really wantsto go to Willie's party on New Year's
z? I do do you sitaround play stupid games, wear your feet
out, dancing and watch a lotof dumb girls watching you to see if
you're watching them. But boy,you go to a hockey game, See,
(07:28):
and they're all these swell players,and there's this little piece of rubber,
sure, and all they do ischase it around. They do a
lot more than that. Boy,They trip up each other with their sticks
and push each other into the sidewarks. Sometimes a player even lands in your
life, in my life, sure, no kidding, Sure, I'd rather
go to the party. But ahomer and you can go to the hockey
(07:49):
game all by myself. Sure,I just think you'd have one seat to
sit in, one seat for anyplayer that might land there. See,
that wouldn't be any fun. Well, I'd like to boom around with your
hand only che hockey game. Isn'tthere anything you'd rather do than go to
Willie's party? Well, what I'dreally like is to go to that masquerade.
(08:11):
Masquerade. Sure that our folks aregoing to see they're giving prizes and
everything. Well, then why don'twe both go? Do you need money
to rent costumes? Look, Homber, my father gave me an extra dollar,
and if I could sell my hockeytickets, i'd have enough money.
How could you sell them. Atthis late date, everybody will have plans
for the sake of your new year, Homer. The least I can do
(08:31):
is try Hello, Hello, Sam? Oh, Hello, there will everything
all set for the mascarade? Youbet your Sam? Fine? Just the
thought of getting out on the dancefloor makes me feel like a boy.
(08:52):
I guess, Sam, I phoneto tell you we have the costumes.
Good? What are they? We'regoing as the fourth seasons of the year
on good idea? Well, yourwinter, but your winter, sam?
Oh? I am you wear along white beard, seeing you even have
a cane. Ok. Sure,so you won't even have to dance,
Sam, All you have to dois hobble around all evening. I see.
(09:16):
Well, well, I'm just glad. I'm glad you like the idea,
Sam Oh I do, I do? Indeed, what are you?
Well, I'm summer summer? Isee, well, so long, we'll
get together later and try the costumeson bye, goodbye? Well? Yes,
Sam, Alice howl is well brown? Why? I'm not sure?
Is here a couple of years olderthan I am? Yes? I believe
(09:39):
he is. Why? What's thematter? Nothing else? Nothing at all,
but Homer, listen to reason andme stand in the sock. Where
are you going? Oh but Homer, it's the only costume he has left.
It isn't my It isn't my falleither, and I refuse to have
(10:01):
anything to do with But I've alreadysold my hockey tickets home, and you
promised you'd go to the masquerade withme, not in this costume. Why
can't go in alone? Listen,Henry, I'm not being the back end
of any horse. And that's that. It's that all. It's worrying.
Look, you can be the frontend. No, I'm not starting the
new year by being any part ofa horse but a home Henry, I
(10:24):
said, no, Do you thinkI want to dance with you all evening?
Back to front? Sam? Whatare you trying to say? Simply
this, Alice, that some timeago I gave Henry my word i'd go
to a hockey game with him thisevening. But Sam, what about the
(10:45):
brown? That's unfortunate, Alice.But the more I think about it,
the more I feel my first dutyis to my son. But think of
how disappointed they'll be. No,and I'm sorry, but they'll just have
to find themselves another winter. Sam, What do you mean right? Nothing?
And what about me, Alice.I'm sorry about that, but I'll
make it up to you next week. Did you mean I have to stay
home tonight with Mary and Kermit?Mother? You do right here in this
(11:07):
house? Yes, Mary, youmean right in the living room. Excuse
me, I'd better phone the brock. But Mother, that's all right,
Mary, I won't bother you andKermit. I can fix myself up very
comfortably in the kitchen. In thekitchen, I'll be fine. Mary.
I'll take an armchair out there andjust knit. My goodness, we wouldn't
think of letting you do a thinglike that. Well, Mary, if
(11:28):
you really don't object, to bringthe radio out in the kitchen for you,
Mary, do you mean to sayyou really banish your own mother to
the kitchen on New Year's Eve?Mother? Yes, Henry, here's anyone
phone for me while I was out, No, dear, no one at
all, not even Homer. NoHenry, Oh, Henray, Yes,
Father, I've been looking for you. Mother. You don't understand. Yes
(11:52):
I do, Mary, I understandperfectly. Henry. I have news for
you. You mean Homer changed hismind about going with me? Henry,
I am going with you. Youare, Yes, sir, I've managed
to change my other plans and sodone. You can count me yet I
can. That's definite. Farther itis. I may have been forced to
go back on my word a fewtimes in the past, but not anymore,
Henry. Oh boy, then let'stry it on the costume. I
(12:16):
have a ride down in the hall, father, and boy, it's the
best durned looking horse you ever saw. Horse. Now, wait a minute,
I thought we were going to ahockey game. Not anymore, father,
We're going to the masquerade instead.It is a whore. Now wait,
you're in the back end. Nowwait, you just promised. Fine,
I know, but I thought,Henry, you don't expect me to
walk around all evening sad over double. But father, I'm not a young
(12:39):
man, Henry. Probably you meanyou're backing out again. No, but
after you said we were going tobe closer this year, not that close.
(13:07):
Yes, Getting back to the troublesof Henry Aldridge, Mister and Missus
Aldridge had made arrangements to attend theNew Year's He've Masquerade with the Browns.
When Henry informed his father of apromise to take him to a hockey game
tonight. Due to his efforts tokeep his word to everyone, mister Aldridge
has now wound up as the hindend of a horse. The scene opens
(13:30):
in the Browns living room. Itis late the same afternoon. Mother,
would youphone William Marshall for me?What poor Holmer? Tell him? And
looks as though I'm gonna recover andI'll be able to go to his party
tonight after all, recover from whatmy pneumonia? My pneumonia? What pneumonia?
My mother? He thinks I'm stayinghome with pneumonia instead of going to
his New Year's party. You're notgoing to go to his party? I
(13:52):
told him I wasn't she was.I'll be durned if I'll be a whore,
Homer, just because your horse isno reason to think you're coming down
with pneumonia. Just go and gargle, dear, But mother, Homer,
dude, is you're told? Can'tyou see? I'm busy thinking more?
Okay, But gargling isn't gonna straightenme out with Willie. Dear, you
just have to have faith, faith, I know, But who out of
(14:13):
my way? Pooh? Mother?Mother? But what's mother? There's a
tree out in our hall and itspoke to me. Oh dear, that's
no tree, that's your father,and get off my lap here. I
am Elizabeth? How do I look? Fathers? Are really you sure?
I'm summer? You're a wife.I'm summer Summer? Oh boy, we'll
(14:37):
stop fooling arrived with that costume andhelp me find us. Bring in winter,
poo, bring and winter? DidI just backed out? What's that
she was? I'm going upstairs andlie dow, Elizabeth? What do you
mean they backed out? Will theorder gypsuff? He decided they can't come
the masquerade to night? Well,I shall fine, fright now, we'll
calm down. You're shedding your leavesthe phone. But elizabeth' what are we
(15:00):
going to do? We can't gojustice food seasons? Will. I've been
trying to think how we could convertour costumes, trying to say he hoped.
Oh hello, hello, Elizabeth,this is Sam or rich Sam.
You'll never know how disappointed we are. Well, that's what I called about.
Even if I can't make it,do you think you could still fit
Alice in a spring? Well?The only thing is Sam, wouldn't the
(15:20):
three of us look a little awkwardwithout winter? Nonsense? Elizabeth if there's
one season you can dispense with,it's certainly winter. Well maybe we could
work out something. What I appreciateit, Elizabeth? Goodbye? Goodbye,
Elizabeth. Was that's Sam on thephone. Yes, he wants to know
we could fit Alice in his spring? You mean all by herself? But
who will we get us winter?I haven't any idea unless yeah, will
(15:43):
I've got it? What? He'snot going anywhere to night? Oh,
Homer, Yes, come down hereand try all this beard? Father,
would you hold the horse's tail stilla minute? Henry, what are you
(16:03):
doing? Well? The trouble iswhen I put my head in first,
my feet won't go in by puttingyour feet in first? Are your feet
in? Father? Yes? MaybeI should sort of bend over. Mother,
What happened behind? Legs are stickingstraight up in the air. Yes,
and I'm all my back. Well, maybe that's the way to do
it. We both lie on ourback seat and stick all our four feet
(16:26):
up in the air. Now,wait a minute, See it's gonna be
fun, father, Dad answer thephone. Well, I'll fry. I'll
get it. Father, Henry,stop pulling my leg. That's my leg?
Father? Hello, Hello, that'syour leg over there it is,
Well, whose arm is this?Uh? No, wait wait, given
anybody go an ask the fall?Oh, Henry, let's take one leg
(16:48):
at a pie. Hello? Hello? Is that you married? Yes?
Is that you can it? Yes? Hello? Hello? Lie? It
was nice tell you the phone.Mary, I have some news for you.
You have. I have news foryou too, Kermit. You have
what is it? You tell meyour no? You tell me your no?
(17:10):
Well, first of all, Imade something wonderful for you to eat
tonight. You did. That's wonderfulbecause frankly, Mary, I am getting
a little tired of macaroons. Ah, oh my goodness, And not that
I'm not crazy about your macaroons.Mary. It's all right, kirmity,
goodbye. Yes, I have togo, and that is yes. But
Mary, I haven't told you mindnews. Well could you tell me quickly?
Sure? We're going to a hockeygame tonight? For hockey game?
(17:34):
Yeah, and death to save methe ticket, kmita hockey game on New
Year's eave. Yeah, isn't thatswell? Mary? Mary? Are you
there? Yes? But my goodness, I was looking forward to to wa
Kermit. If you don't know,I'm certainly not going to tell you and
goodbye Mary? What's all the commotionon you? I did you manage just
(17:55):
to eat? You're all the sameyou, Mary? What did I know?
I think I've got that worse lickfather, Henry, you can forget
about that horse, forget them boutit. I can see your heart isn't
in it? Son. No,where are those hockey tickets? I haven't
got the ill get them. WhenI say I'm going to take you to
a hockey game, Henry, thenthat's what I'm going to do. But
I'm not going to palm off amascarade on you instead. But Father,
I can't get the hockey tickets.I sold them to Kerman. What I
(18:21):
see? Excuse me, Henry,Father, you mean you're going to change
your mind again? Alice? Well, look, would you like one to
narrate macaroons? Here? No?Thank you, Alice. I've been thinking
it over, thinking what over?And while I made a promise to Henry,
I also made a promise to you. Yes, but Henry's young,
(18:41):
He'll get over it. What asyou? What as you? Whereas I
thought, Alice, would you explainto Henry that you insist I go to
the masquerade with you? But dearI can't. You can't what I can't
insist? Now? What do youmean? Elizabeth just phoned me in I'm
going with someone else? But Alice, do you mean to say you're going
out tonight with some other man?Well, Dear, I don't know.
(19:04):
Elizabeth said it would be a surprise. It's pretty unbelievable. Why then you're
jealous us? Why I'm not?No, you hadn't a thing to worry
about. Alice here to call thewhole thing off immediately, I'd give him
my will, And Dear, I'msure that once I've made a promise,
you wouldn't want me to break it. All. Everything's all settled. You
(19:32):
and I are going to that masqueradeas a horse, But father, I
thought you didn't want to. OnlyI'm going as a front end, you
understand. But I can keep aneye on what I can watch, what
I can see, what's going on. But see, whiz, father,
you're too late. But look,I just got the hockey tickets back from
Carmen. The hockey ticket. SureI've traded them something for them? Can
(19:53):
you certainly have your nerves? ButMary, who said you wanted us to
be secluded? And saw it inall my life, But no, or
you can be the front of himjust a minute. What's going on here?
I can tell your father, misterAldrich, would you try to explain
something to marry for me? Herman, I'm not dumb. I don't eat
anything explained to mister Aldrich. I'lljust stay out of there. But mister
(20:14):
Aldrich, you're better at managing womenthan I out of Oh, you know
everybody? How do you like mycostume? I've given you one last chance
here and now to break your dates. Mother, you have a day,
yes, dear with a man?Missus Aldrochel Kermit? What's wrong with that?
Yes? Kermit? With a man? Mother? A man? Day?
Al Homer, we're busy? Youare you mean you can't go with
(20:38):
me? God heaven could you?She was? Homer? Where'd you get
that beard? You mean? You'reyou're sure? I'm winter? Are you
letting? Father? Father? Howdo you feel now? How do I
(21:12):
look? Henry? Frankly terrible?Then? You know how I feel?
The only thing is there's only aboutten minutes left in nineteen forty eight?
Yes, wouldn't it be a betteromen if you saw the new year in
with a smile? Rhap? You'reright, Father, you gonna sit up
now, I'm gonna try it.It's a darn good hockey game, wasn't
(21:33):
it? Father? Yes? Son, it was until they carried me out.
See that player who got thrown intoyour lap? I think it did
him good. Well, I'm gladto hear it. Sure, he just
dusted himself off and jumped back onthe ice and scored the winning goal.
Good for him? Now, pleasehave me that mistake again. Sure?
(21:56):
And how's your eye coming along?Father? She was there the phone.
You stay right where you are,her father all the time, Thank you
and me? Hello, Hello,Henry? How is the hockey game?
Boy? Mother? Was the bestone I ever went to. That's a
masquerade, just lovely, Dear?Did you win the grand prize? No,
dear, Homer upset the whole applecord when he discovered his dear it
(22:18):
was made of sponge sugar. Whathappened? He ate it? And Henry,
may at least seek to your father, father. Mother wants you on
the phone. Mother, who didwin the prize? Mary? And Kermit?
Everyone thought they made a wonderful horsethan your mother. Henry? Sure,
Father, you see who's at thedoor? Sun? Sure? From
Hello Alice? Sam, I justwanted to be the first one to say
(22:41):
Happy New Year to you. Oh, thank you, Alice, and the
same to you. Are you havinga good time? Frankly, they're not
as good a time as if youwere here, Alice. I'm going to
make everything up to you. Ihaven't forgotten the promise that nature, dear
you really mean we'll go out someplaceevery Saturday night for the whole year as
well. My goodness, I'm certainlylooking forward to nineteen forty nine. Father,
(23:04):
oh father, Just a minute,altis, Father gets who was at
the door? Who the man froma hockey rink? And he wanted to
know how your black eye was.And just to show there's no hard feelings,
Look what he gave us a seasonpast to all the hockey games.
What's that every Saturday night for thewhole year, every Saturday at midnight.
(23:26):
But Happy New Year, Sam,Happy New Year, Father, Yeah,
well, Happy New Year. Listenagain next week, same time, same
(24:02):
station, for another sparkling half hourwith your favorite youngster, his family and
his pals. The Old Garring EzraStone is written by Clifford Goldsmith,
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.