Noise Junkies - Vanity Projects - Noise Junkies

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(00:00):
Good evening and welcome to Night Gallery. Thank you, Rod, and I
want to welcome everyone to Midnight Viewing, where once a month we talk all
about your follow up to the TwilightZone, Rod Serling's Night Gallery. They
say it's Rod through Ling Night Gallery, and it isn't really Rod through Las
Night Gallery. It's somebody else's.Oh we know, we talk about it
a lot. Your curators at MidnightViewing are the projection booths. Mike White.

(00:22):
What can happen to human beings whentrust is wiped out by suspicion and
culture casts? Chris Stashue small boyincased in the Crystal Ball, and I'm
father Malone a kind of thing thatusually infest nightmares. Join us monthly at
Midnight Viewing. The Night Gallery podcastat Weirdingwaymedia dot Com doesn't remotely belong to
me. I have no proprietary interestin that at all, Weirdingway Media.

(00:54):
Vanity and pride are different things,though the words are often used synonymously.
A person may be proud without beingvain. Pride relates more to our opinions
of ourselves, vanity to what wewould have others think of us. Jane
Austen said, that about vanity.Ambrose Beers put it another way, a
little more succinctly. They say thathens do cackle loudest when there is nothing

(01:18):
vital in the eggs they have laid. Oh yeah, it's noise. Jugi's

(01:47):
baby, and we are talking ofvanity here today, speaking of which I'm
father Malone, and you are listeningto the greatest musical podcast on this network.
But I don't do it alone.Oh, We've got co hosts of
plenty. That means too straight fromMondo realm. Wouldn't you know it?
Heather drain good evening. I liketo think that we're the pips to your

(02:10):
gladys tonight. Oh I appreciate agood pip now and again, I think
we're the pippiest. And he ismy truthself. He makes all my podcasts
sparkle with his musical ingenuity. Besttaxi podcast of all time on any network
night, mister Walter's own HP.I can't possibly live up to that introduction,

(02:35):
Thank you very much. Botherm alone, You can't now because you just
undercut yourself. Come on, man, there you go. Thank you.
Good to be here. Hey,you're the You're the ship. I wouldn't
do this with two uh mamma jammosthat aren't worth my time. Fiddle fattle,
come on, a fiddle fa fattle. Isn't that? Isn't that?
A tasty snack with porn and caramelcorn? Is the Devil's vegetable. Everybody

(02:58):
knows this. We're gonna have alittle bit of a segment here, a
little show intel. I'm going toask each of you, what have you
been listening to this week? Couldbe an album, an artist, or
a song, anything particularly on yourmind. Go hp hey. So this
week, what I'm listening to isthe fragments Time out of Mind Sessions album
by the one and only Bob Dylan. Time out of Mind. I'm a

(03:23):
I like Bob Dylan, but Iadmit to being a casual listener, and
I wasn't. I didn't really hopon to the sort of Time out of
Mind train when it came out backin ninety seven. Oh, by the
way, this is the album.It's the latest in his bootleg series.
I think it's been happening for likethe better part of twenty years, but
this is the latest installment. Anyway, I wasn't so familiar with this album.

(03:45):
The only thing I knew about itwas I think it was that the
Grammys that year was the year thathe was performing the song Love Sick,
and that guy who called himselfs Soybombcame out. Do you remember Sobb?
It was great and I actually,in listening to this, I revisited I
at the time. I loved hisversion of love Sick that he did on

(04:06):
that Grammys performance, and it's stillon YouTube. You can check it out.
But I didn't know much about thealbum beyond the fact that he did
it with Daniel Lenois, who wasvery, very popular at the time.
He did obviously the YouTube albums anda bunch of other stuff. So that's
what I'm delving into, is themaking of and the history behind Time out

(04:27):
of Mind. Good stuff, deliciousand delightful Heather speaking of well, I
don't know about delicious, but Ilike to think my picks are delightful.
Um, but yes, it's me. It's been sort of a two way
combo between Dick Valentine has a newsolo album called This is Hell and for
those stuff Dick Valentine's probably best andFelix singer of the Electric six and this

(04:53):
album just it sparks it's fun,you know, to quote why is and
it kicks ass Uh, It's it'stremendous, tremendous fun. And the flip
of that, I've been listening toa lot of um just different tracks from
The Call from the which with MichaelBean, who's just become like the more

(05:15):
like learning about him. What anart hero. Michael Bean is the vocalist,
bassist and songwriter for The Call.It just tremendous, tremendous talent and
unfortunately, like if you guys seenLost Boys and everybody knows that Tim Cappello,
I still believe that is the Callternally that was the Call originally and
the Calls version, and that toI mean, the Tim Capello thing's fine

(05:38):
with the Lost Boys and he seemslike a nice man, but when you
actually hear Michael Bean sing it thatpower like that that man had such a
voice in such heart. I highlyrecommend everybody check out The Call. Um
the most popular album, Modern Romansis not on CD, which is ridiculous.
Um, they really need I thinkthey're right for read discovery. Also,

(06:00):
he was in Less Sempation at christso Anne was good friends with her
Reading Stanton, so you know theman's legit when the Stanton gives his thumbs
of So so you're saying, MichaelMichael Bean, that's not that's not the
actor, not the actor in myhead. Yeah, no, no,
I love that Michael Bean too.Now Michael Bean, b e n um.

(06:21):
Their best, like their singles.Probably to check out would be the
uh the walls, Uh, thewalls come down. I still believe everywhere
I look, uh, but justcheck out their stuff. They're really really
good. And Peter Gabriel was afan of his too, so yeah,

(06:42):
got the talent backing up. Butyeah, him and Dick Valentine. It's
my person my duality. Yea versionof I still believe. It's gorgeous.
It's so good. It's so good. Like um, I've only known the
Tim Cappella version, which I wasa fan of. That's because it's a
great song. It's it's a greatsong and it's faithful. I mean the
version of the movie is faithful.Yeah, but like it lacks what what

(07:05):
the Call brings to it, whichis an urgency and a passion. That
is there's no there's no whiff ofcheese in the Calls version of the of
the song, whereas the tim Cappellaarson is like lathered in velveta, the
tim Capella version straight up mozzarella sticksand TGI Fridays like and I'm not saying

(07:26):
that's a bad thing, but itis what it is so awesome analogy and
what sect of awesome? What haveyou been listening to? What's been tickling
your your your your ear your earholes? I hate that. I'm sorry.
Are either of you familiar with aNorwegian rock gun by the name of
Ida Maria. It looks like i'dapparently she pronounces it Eta. Maria hit

(07:48):
the scene back in two thousand andeight with an absolutely fucking killer debut called
Fortress Around My Heart. There area couple of singles that had a little
bit of airplay off of it.The most this one is I Like You
So much Better when You're naked.That kind of got some airtime. And
then she has a song called ohMy God, which to me, it's

(08:09):
a song about like falling in loveand it's just her shrieking oh my God,
like over and over. Anyway,check that album out. She followed
it up with a very similar,like awesome album that was a cot Lie
I believe, And then and thenthe next album, which is twenty sixteen
she put out it was it waslike slow and deliberate and steeped in American

(08:33):
spirituals, which was fine but notall that electric. But evidently she put
an album out like two years agoor yeah, two years ago, in
twenty twenty two, an EP justfive songs called Dirty Money, and it
is fucking righteous. I highly encourageeveryone to go check out Eata Maria looks

(08:54):
like Ida Maria. Guys, weare talking about vanity vanity projects, not
vanity like in your attached to yourbathroom, although if you look up vanity
projects, man, you'll find lotsof diy stuff on how to recock your
vanity and retile your backsplash. We'retalking about music of vanity projects. I
asked you guys book a question offair and basically what constitutes a vanity project.

(09:18):
I'm gonna read what I wrote toyou, guys, which is I
tend to air on the side ofit originating with the one who's putting it
out. If it's Bruce Willis puttingout The Return of Bruno, I want
to know that's because Bruce Willis hadbeen harboring this desire to put out an
album in this character singing these songsright, and then he got some fame

(09:39):
and then he made that happen.That's definitely a vanity project. But it
gets a little murkier with some ofthe more camp and culti versions or examples
rather of vanity projects, like thebig one for me is William Shatner and
his entire uber. But in thosecases, I wonder did it start with

(10:03):
Shatner or did somebody have an albumworth of material and thought, if I
can't William Shatner to record this,then I can sell this many copies And
is that a consideration? Does thateven matter? I'll give my definition,
but to speak to the Shatner thing, I don't. I don't my I
don't have any direct evidence to backthis up. And my assumption is based

(10:26):
on we're talking about the transformed man, you know, primarily here, because
that was really what put him onthe map as a as a you know,
kuki kind of crazy, vanity filledkind of thing. I can't imagine
that wasn't something that he came upwith on his own, because it's such
an oddball mix of you know,theatrical monologues with kind of music popular music

(10:52):
of the day, um like mistertambourine man, but a soliloquy from Sierra
to Bergier act that in my mind, knowing what I know about Shatner and
observing him over the course of mylifetime, I can't imagine that didn't spring
from his wacky Canadian brain that Okay, I'm gonna make this artistic statement that's

(11:16):
a mix of you know, popularmusic and theatrical ambition, and it's going
to be It's going to blow people'sminds. That's my impression. Anyway,
Heather, do you have any thoughtson that on Shatner in particular before we
talk about our definitions. I mean, Shantner is such a bomb of mars
like he is, I get onehundred percent seeing it actually being him.

(11:39):
This isn't the same man that learnedEsperanto. It became flut in espronto and
it was in the movie Incubus,which is a really underrated movie. I
know a lot of people just viewmaybe probably use a novelty, but it's
actually really good and has gorgeous cinematography. And plus I mean shatter speaking Esperanto,
I mean and the and the selectionactions on that album I think also

(12:01):
speak to just how bonkers because evenby then, I mean, we're already
starting to see like people that werebetter known as actors doing music and uh,
I mean, and even go intogenres they're not associated with. I
mean, like I know, offoff record, we had talked about the
Golden Throats compilation from Rhino, whichis classic, and we will get into

(12:24):
that later, but I mean,you know, Maywest doing twist and shout
and stuff like that. But Shandneris so like earnest and that's what sort
of makes it stand out. Imean, Telly Savalas, but nobody really
talks about Telly Savalis's album, andhe did do an album. But Telly
Savalas did a musical album, sodid um Chad Everett. I mean,

(12:48):
this was this you know the guythat played uh was it, Sebastian Cabot.
Sebastian Cabot did an album. Allkinds of weird actors took this foray
in this era the sixties and seventies. Shatner stands out because it's so bizarre
and it's so sort of like heartfelt, like this is the guy you will

(13:09):
not forget at the open mic night. But the word. The word that
you used, which I think isreally the key to his whole thing is
is earnest. Like I never getthe sense that it's a put on,
like like some of those songs offof Golden Throats and just as some background.
That's something that I picked up,you know, whenever it was I
guess was high school, and itwas kind of ground zero for this idea

(13:31):
of sort of kitch or camp,you know, musical covers and what have
you. And a lot of thestuff on that album is just it's frankly,
a lot of it's kind of unlistenablefrom a purely musical perspective. But
I think the differences when you're talkingabout a Sebastian Cabin or a Tony Randall
or Maywest, like my impression isthat that that's something that they had external

(13:56):
influences, perhaps saying like yo,you should really cover you know, the
song, or you should really tryto get you know, more more of
a youthful audience by doing this,even someone like Leonard Emoy who've had his
own forays into sort of singing.But Shatner is just so off the wall,
like you said, Heather, butso but yet so U you know,

(14:18):
honest and it's sort of objectives.I mean, you can tell this
wasn't something that he did just asa goof or a campy thing. He
really believed in this. When youhear him, he's giving it his all
as an actor and as a performer. So let we'll just consider Shatner a
loadstone, a north star if youwill, film of vanity projects. But

(14:39):
my question remains, does it matterif you were approached? Can you cry
that's not my fault. I wasjust a hired hand, Like is that
escape clause available to these people?Or or does it even matter, Like
do you define a vanity project asit originated with them? Or it it

(15:00):
has no bearing that it's the productwe're judging. So my definition of a
vanity project is a little bit andhonestly kind of for some of the reasons
you guys have touched on particularly UHPis you know, to some degrees you're
going to have shades of sort ofsubjectiveness because it's creative. Anything creative is

(15:20):
going to be subjective. I mean, for me, I was thinking of
the ones the vanity projects where itends up really becoming the vanity aspect is
the biggest I think or maybe whenpeople tend to sort of outreach their limits
a little bit and not in aninteresting sort of like I'm going to challenge
myself creative ways, but sort oflike when Hubrists, it's almost like this

(15:43):
sort of like Hubrist takes control.I mean like if I was going to
say, like a musician going intofilm world, perfect example would maybe be
like when Madonna was then her andGuy Ritchie remade Lena wort Miller Swept Away,
and it's like, you know,Matzanna. I mean, it's easy
to hate on her as an actress, but I mean there are films that

(16:04):
where she was she was fine,and I mean she's not Nobody's ever gonna
mistake her for you know, Ithink a master thespian. But you know,
there are certainly worse out there.But I mean, yeah, remaking
Lena Wertmuller definitely out stepping one's boundaries. And um, so maybe that is
maybe when you're just sort of um, you know, or Bruce willis trying

(16:29):
to do a motown album, evenif it is a character like that's that's
a reach. That's a reach.Don Johnson, no, no, Don
Johnson making music with people that actuallyare really talented, ranging from Derezel Zappa
to Paul Shaffer. But I mean, but Paul Shaffer salented no, and

(16:49):
I mean and he plus plus heplayed already fun and and and spinal taps.
I can't really that to me,that's when the vanity, you know,
because honestly, when it's good,I don't think you'd think of it
as a vanity project. That's whyyou I mean, and for also for
the reasons you mentioned too, father, I'm like, yeah, Purple raised
on a vanity project. But alsoyou know, I don't even think as

(17:10):
Set of the Train Mune as avanity project personally. But I realized that's
because I like it, and Ithink it's actually a really good movie.
I'm not saying it's perfect, butI think people are a little too hard
on it, you know, ButI think, but I think the thing
that we're going to explore here alittle bit down the road is a vanity
project doesn't have to be bad tobe considered. I mean, I have

(17:32):
several examples here and we'll get intothem of vanity projects, and I think
work really well. I mean,we're gonna put Shatter aside because it's a
very that's the as father alone said, that's kind of like the like.
But but I but I, Idon't. I don't equate. For me,
I don't equate a vanity project withsomething like bad and negative right off

(17:53):
the bat um you know where,you know, because I think we're can
to thinking of like, you know, like I said, a hubrist like
that was a great another great wayof describing this. Somebody's hubrists outstripping their
you know, natural talents or theirability to excel in a creative venture.

(18:14):
So I I, like I said, I'm I'm I'm reluctant to label of
vanity projects as bad on the faceof it. Okay, but do we
peel it's a good question. Dowe peel the vanity label off of it?
If it's good? Do we noteven know it's a vanity project anymore?
I don't think so, just because, like I said, it's from
again, my personal definition that Icooked up just for the show is that

(18:41):
it's it's It could be coming froma place of ego or maybe dissatisfaction with
their current sort of lot in life. As far as you know they're creative,
maybe they're stagnant creatively and they needsomething to kind of jump start that,
so they strike out in a totallydifferent way or a totally different you
know, milliaire. And it could. It's some cases, it might be

(19:06):
successful in some case. In alot of cases, probably more often than
not, it's it's not. AndI think it's easy. But I think
it's easy to point the finger andsay, well, you know, you
shouldn't have, you know, putyourself out there so much. Well,
you know, sometimes they can.People can do that. Artists can do
that, and you get something,you know, perhaps better than you expected

(19:26):
or even downright magical in some cases. In some cases you're really glad that
they decided to, you know,put themselves out there, put themselves out
there and and try something new.Right. No one's ever going to call
guerrillas a vanity project, right becauseit's fucking massively successful artistically and financially terribul
failure. Would we be thinking,oh, damon Albarn's a little vanity project

(19:49):
there gorillas, remember that thing?And I think that's but I think that's
a that's a wonderful example, uhfather alone because it and you'll see this
reflected in some of my topics ofdiscussion here is that I could see that.
I didn't think of it, Butthat's a good example. That is
something. Damon Albarn kind of hadthis idea in his head with this artist

(20:11):
and said, I'm gonna you knowit's it's a totally wacky idea to have
the sort of virtual band that he'skind of writing songs through, and it's
a very ambitious idea, but goddamn it, he pulled it off for
several albums and he brought in somewonderful guest artists. I mean, but
I but I do at the coreof it, I do think it's vanity.
I think it's him saying I cando this, and I'm going to

(20:34):
put this out there. We're gonnaI think we have a dive headlong into
all of the varying vanity projects thatare out there, both laughable and laudable.
But I do want to start positive. I want to get into some
of those laudable ones. Mine wasGuerrillas. There you go, Oh,
look at this great example. Yeah, that's a good one. It's the

(20:56):
best one I could think of afterHPS, which I already have pretty knowledge
of. Yeah, I think that'sa worthy example. I think, as
you said, HB this him inhis flatmate Jamie Hewlett, who is a
fucking genius by the way, TankGirl. For God's sake, If I
would ever get another artist a tattooof their artwork, it would be Jamie
Hewlett. Anyway, That very wellcould have been all vanity, like just

(21:21):
a FUCKERU where he's got a bunchof cartoon characters stepping in for his band,
and he's not going to actually likepromote it as himself all that much.
You know, he's just going toput it out and if you recognize
the voice, you dude. Ifyou don't, well whatever. But turned
out that first Girl Ins album isone of my favorite albums of all time.
It's a perfect album as far asI'm concerned. A couple of them

(21:44):
approach it, but nothing like thatone. She's a stage christ jam They
may kill myself come on. Soanyway, that's my example of a positive
one. Aheather, what's yours?Because I know what HPS is, but
I'm curious what your favorite vanity projectout there, one that should be raised

(22:08):
above maybe peel the label off alittle bit one hundred percent. The first
one that came to my mind,ALTAF is for an actor who I haven't
really seen a ton of his work, actually very little of it, even
though he's probably one of the biggeststars on the planet right now. But
Ryan Gosling's band, dead Man's Bonesis phenomenal and they and they've only done

(22:33):
like one LP. But I really, really, really really recommend seeking Get
Out, especially if you're someone who'sinto very sort of mccab music, if
you love like soundtracks, old horrormovies, if you like things that are
kind of on the gothic. There'sa like a Silver like I think it
has the Silver Lake Conservatory Kids Choiron it, so you have that sort

(22:57):
of eerage children's choir, which isso cool. It's tremendous. It's just
him and like one of his bestfriends. It's just like the two of

(23:17):
them making this incredible music um thatI think is beautiful and airy. Um.
I listened to it all year round. It's really you know, a
lot of people tend to kind ofI think it's showing up more and more
like people sort of like Halloween listsfor understandable reasons. But of course,
if you're like me, you canlisten to this all manners of the mccab

(23:37):
you're around. What in our bloodit does we have? We're monster kids,
And so I think, um,I love it. I love his
vocals on it. Um, Ithink it's so cool that he did it,
because this is obviously when you're doingthat kind of thing, you're clearly
not trying to get on the chartsor you know, amplify your fame level

(24:00):
by any means, which I thinkis probably you know why we could pill
the label off a little bit,because you know, he's even on the
album art. You know, youkind of have to look for him,
look for his face. It's there. But um, it's not all about
him. But I think I thinkit's a great record. Honestly, I
will always have love in my heartfor for Ryan Gosling, for this album

(24:23):
and specifically because of this album.Wow, high praise. Indeed, I'm
definitely going to check this out.It's so good. HPD hit hit us
with the old school, all right. So this was one of the when
when we were sort of tasked withthis assignment and think of, you know,
some good and not so good vanityprojects. This is one of the

(24:44):
first ones that I thought of asfar as a successful vanity project. And
that is the Blues Brothers. Uhnot the Blues Brothers two thousand, because
I think by then it was justsort of sad. But the original idea
there's there's the original Blues Brothers,the the the sort of band that grew
out of that famous B's sketch wherethey were performing on a King beet um.

(25:10):
This to me, well, it'sobviously it's it's successful because the Blues
Brothers kind of became a household name. They had, you know, the
amazing John Landis movie that is,you know, pretty much unimpeachable. But
what where I think it's actually veryvery successful. It may be tricky,
like if you were to make tryto make up Blues Brothers today and have

(25:33):
basically two you know, white guyswho are kind of performing the blues you
know on ironically, perhaps it maybe a tougher sell. But I think
for me, the reason why Ithink it's it's it's extra extra successful is
two reasons. One, they weresmart enough to pack the Blues Brothers band

(25:56):
with incredible musical heavyweights like Steve,A lot of guys who came out of
you know, staxed Steve Cropper,Donald Duck Dunne Iconic on bass, Blue
Loo, Marini on saxophone, mycousin bones malone. That's right, and
that to me gave it already gaveit a lot of authenticity instead of like

(26:19):
if they had just populated the BluesBrothers Band with a bunch of anonymous sort
of like session musicians, it wouldn'thave that grit. She jumped Jaen.
The big reason why I think it'sso successful is, if nothing else,

(26:40):
it shone a light on artists atthe time who at the time weren't at
a very popular point in their careers. Folks like James Brown, John Lee
Hooker, even Aretha Franklin who maybethat wasn't you know, the height of
her career, or any of theircareers for that matter. They shone a
light on all of their music.They appeared in the movies, and if

(27:03):
they can put the word out therethat hey, the others, these amazing
blues and R and B artists thatmaybe you ought to check out, that's
a win in my book. Andthe music was great. Obviously, dan
Ackroyd had a passion for the bluesand he brought that to this and he
kind of brought in, you know, I think John Belushi was kind of

(27:25):
like an omnivore where whatever he wasinterested in at that time he dove in
with both feet. He started kindof you know, with the blues and
then he ended up getting more intoa punk thing later. But to me,
like I said, the band wasfantastic and the music was great,
and it gave you know, notorietyto a lot of really deserving artists at

(27:47):
a very vulnerable point in their careers. That's why I think it's successful.
It's hard to top. Like it'sone of vanity project. These two guys
got a club that they go thatthey own, that they go to after
they're working on Saturday Night Live.They're getting up on stage and dicking around
and playing as rock stars or bluesmenor whatever. They forced that onto TV

(28:12):
because they get so famous that theycan kind of get this sketch. This
They forced it on as a sketchfirst, and then they start appearing as
musical guests as if they're an actualband. This is one vanity project,
and yet it all worked. Itwas great. There's there's very very little
that you can say about it beyondthe fact that, like I said,

(28:33):
Blues Brothers two thousand is its ownthing. But like as a concept and
as a musical force at the time, I mean, they were they were
so successful with it. They couldbasically because they were so famous and so
popular, Like you said, Fatheralone, they could kind of you know
that they could they could force thaton the viewing public by featuring them on
their very popular show The Rest isHistory. They performed at the Hollywood Bowl,

(28:57):
they had several like platinum albums.It's incredible, and they were on
a mission stuff. You know why, because as you mentioned, that was
definitely this lily white kid from theSuburb's first introduction to James Brown and John
Lee fucking Hooker and Aretha Franklin andjust that it goes on and on and

(29:19):
on in that movie, Sam andDave forgotten. It's not even on the
It's great, it's just playing onthe car radio and I'm like, what
is that thing they're listening to?So, yeah, they did good work,
those those Blues, those Brothers Blue. They had respect for the music
and it really showed. Are thereany other examples of a good vanity project

(29:40):
we'd like to mention because I'm I'mI definitely want to get into the really
terrible ones out there. I haveseveral, but I and there's one that
I'm dying. I'm dying to mentionthis because I actually think this one,
I'm gonna go ahead and go outon a limb here and say this is
I'm gonna call this one an antivanity project? Is that possib where it's

(30:00):
actually somebody who tried to almost dothe opposite he kind of so in the
example, I'm gonna I'm gonna giveand this may not be totally germane here,
but I just thought it was agreat twist on our discussion. Is
the band Tin Machine? Oh?Yes? Right? So so so at

(30:22):
the time, you know, DavidBillie was coming off a series of very
you know, he had Let's Dance. This was an area that he wasn't
He was never entirely comfortable being likethe super mainstream popular singer. Uh.
He had just come off of thelast album that he had done at that
point was Never Let Me Down,which wasn't really a successful album. Uh.

(30:45):
He was kind of eager to makemusic, but not a weight of
loving the loving. The album wasoff of Tonight that was that was a
couple of that was a couple ofthat was after Let's Dance, but before
uh never let Me Down in GlassFighter and all that stuff. The Glass
Spider Tour is just more it's likelike an attempt at an extension of Let's

(31:07):
Dance, don't you think, andlike a love diminishing returns in that regard,
I completely agree father it alone.It's I like some tracks off of
This is a side discussion, butI love some of I mean the song
Loving the Alien and the song BlueJean and a few other songs I like
off that album. But you're right, it was the law of diminishing returns

(31:29):
and this was what was leading DavidBowie down this path of dissatisfaction with how
his career was going. And itkind of, like I said, culminated
after the Glass Spider Tour, andhe basically was eager to make music that
got away from the mainstream and kindof, you know, reinvigorate his interest
in making music again because he wasgetting to the point where he just wanted

(31:52):
to hang it up and just bean artist or something. So the reason
I call this an anti vanity projectis because he insisted. Because the temptation
is very you know strong that thiswas going to be a Bowie project,
right, Bowie is like the biggestname. I mean, no one's going
to be clamoring to know what Huntsales, uh, you know, son

(32:15):
of Soupy sales. His involvement inthe in the band is or Reeves Gabrells.
But he was insistent. Bowie wasinsistent that the rest of the band,
they weren't sidemen. They were allequals in this band, and the
interviewed that was done they all hadequal shares and discussing the projects and writing
the songs and everything. So whatBowie did, which I think is very

(32:36):
interesting here is he really kind oflike you know, took you know,
he subsumed his own like ego andhis own sort of van because he could
have very easily just said this ismy next project, this is a David
Bowie project. But he said,no, this is tin Machine. This
is a different thing. It wasa very much a back to basics affair

(33:07):
the tour. It wasn't a theatricalextravaganza like he had been sort of accustomed
to doing. The debut album isgreat. I enjoy it. I don't
think it's his best work, butI respect what he was trying to do,
which is get away from the polishedmainstream. He really almost kind of

(33:29):
presaged grunge a little bit in away because a lot of it is very
strident. The music is aggressive,sometimes lacking in melody. But but this
is where his head was at.He wanted to, like I said,
bury himself into a band that hewasn't the main focus. So that's to
me, that's why it's almost theop it's kind of a vanity project,

(33:51):
but in a way it's anti vanitybecause he wanted to do He did his
best not to be sort of themain focus of the b and those other
band members must have been so stokedto be in a band with David Bowie
where he refused to give interviews orpromote the band in anyway. No,
it's made with that period of DavidBoy. David Boy's career and is that

(34:13):
ten Machine to me is almost sortof like the pre almost like the Creamble
or the intro to the to theresurrection that we're going to get when he
reconnects with Eno and we get outsideum, you know, and we really
get his next renaissance, which isreally because the eighties I think were was
a little bit of a dodgy period. And I mean this is somebody who

(34:34):
is a diehard David Boy fan,as I think a lot of us are.
Um, what's interesting is with Lovingthe Alien, I always felt like
he was kind of channeling Brian Ferrya little bit, especially if you see
it in the video because even likethe mannerisms, because yeah, spoiler,
I'm also a diehard Roxy music fan. And what's interesting is with Ten Machine,
of course they covered I believe ifthere was something which is off the

(34:59):
first Roxy album, I'm a littlerusty, I'm a tin machine. I
remember that album well they did too, um, the first one being really
good. I don't think I heardthe second one, but they covered a
Roxy It was okay they I don'tto be honest, I have to go
back to the cover I remember offthe first one was they did a cover
of Working Class Hero by John Lennon, which was was my like at the

(35:22):
time. That was my hook intothe album because it was such a John
Lennon fan at that time, andI thought it was a good cover.
Um, probably the best, Iwould say the best thing that Tim Machine,
well not really Tim Machine, butthe thing that was the preamble to
Tin Machine, which you may maynot know, was he did a cover
of his own song look Back inAnger with with With With. It's a

(35:45):
great song, but the remake hedid with with with Reeves Gabrels on guitar
and Urdle Kazil Kay on drums andbass u is killer. It's like,
I love that original song and theremake is better. Oh, that was
what led him into It's fantastic.It's it's a it's a it's a bonus

(36:06):
track off of If you get theLodger album, the reco disc version,
it's a bonus track off. SeeI have the Lodger by don't have the
record is, so I'll have tosneak that out. Also with Hunting sales.
They actually uh are on a lotof Iggy solo albums from um.
I'm trying to think the period.I didn't know they've They've been on a
lot of stuff, but I don'ttrying to which Iggy. I almost want

(36:28):
to say it's like the Soldier era, like the late seventies early eighties,
but I'm admittedly I could be wrongon that, but they the dudes have
cred um credibility for sure. Iforgot they were in ten Machine, which
is why that's why it's so cooldoing doing the shows, like we can
get like all of our little synapses, you know, refired up on some

(36:49):
of the stuff. But uh,but yeah, I mean, weirdly enough,
like Moon Aged Daydream, but BoyDocumentary, there's just like no mention
of ten Machine or Iggy, youknow. Speaking of Iggy, I mentioned
Eda Maria at the top of theshow that song. I mentioned, Oh
my God. She had recorded itas a single in two thousand and seven,
but when she recorded the album,the backing vocals are by mister Iggy

(37:10):
pop. Oh I wrote, bythe way, I literally I wrote that
down. I'm gonna be checking thatout anyways, but now I'm even more
impetus, like um, but yeah, I mean David Boy like and he's
another one that like crossed into overthe movies. But it never felt like
a vanity project because it just feltlike an extension of just his creative you

(37:34):
know, just sort of stirhm anddrawn. You know, it's like,
oh, of course he's in he'sworking in Nicholas Rows. Of course,
if he suddenly came out with aline of sculptures, we would have been
like, oh, cool Bowie's doingsculpture now. You know, like nothing
felt vain with David Bowie. Iknow, it's just you're just happy to
have it. You know, you'rejust like and some things are better than
others. But I mean it's Davidboy. It's like, oh, it's

(37:57):
got that sparkle dust on it.We're good. Give us more, please,
I'm gonna mention a good van Noit's not. Listen, it's not
a good vanity project. But beforewe get to the darker ones. Uh.
In my in my research to findthe the the nuggets of of of
juicy morsels of terrible vanity projects,I looked into uh, mister Steven Seagal

(38:24):
actor Espion Extraordinaire that I have iton my list. That's where, okay,
go ahead, And that was alate addition to mine. He's a
lahman these days, so I'm alittle trepidacious to slag him off. But
no, here's here that's so funny. So he's got two albums. One

(38:45):
is sort of just adult contemporary nonsensewith he's got a close up of him
with a guitar and it's some crystalcave or something like that. We're not
talking about that one. We're talkingabout the blues album here, right,
So he put on an album ofblue and I was like, this is
going to be a fucking hoot.And then I started listening to it and

(39:06):
the music was really fucking solid,and I looked at the artists and they're
all fucking super skilled, fucking bluesmen, bluest blues women, and Steven
Seagal has a pretty passable singing voice. So no matter how much I wanted
to hate on that blues album,it's just a pretty good blues album.

(39:28):
I couldn't say anything again it.And then I'm like, okay, well
the Crystal Cave one, this isgoing to be like sharpening my knives.
I'm rubbing my hands, I'm tentingmy fingers, and it's the same.
It's like it's you know, thatmusic ain't for me anyway, this sort
of adult contemporary bullshit. So Ican't say that that's bad. And he

(39:51):
can sing, so so I amso impressed that you because I had the
same rea action. Father ma alonelike I'm like, oh, because I
listened to the song. It's calledSongs from the Crystal Cave. It came
out in two thousand and eight.It was never released in America, and
I'm like, oh, this isgonna be so bad, and I the

(40:15):
worst thing I can say about itis it's just it's like you said,
it's adult contemporary. There's nothing likeit's. It's capably produced. He doesn't
have a terrible singing voice. Heactually plays guitar rather well because he plays
all over the album. He lookat there's a song on that album featuring
a harmonica solo by Stevie Wonder,which I'm like, why the hell would

(40:37):
you know if it's if it's thatbad in musical circles, how the hell
could Stevie Wonder deign to put hisstamp on it? So yeah, I
shared that opinion father alone. Ithink it's not my cup of tea.
But I couldn't hate on it forbeing like tuneless. I guess right,
Okay, now, hold on,hold on, okay. Songs. Chris

(41:00):
la Cave has a song called Stripewhere Stevens had called us a Jamaican patois
when oh no, no, it'smore. It is more than regretible because
and the sad thing is the womanwith him, Lady Saw is actually like
this very respected musician in that likegenre, and that song is filthy and

(41:22):
it makes me think of Steven Signalwanting to rub his little sweaty nads on
some poor woman makeup, which isjust sitting. But it also makes me
laugh. So I'm kind of tornbecause it doesn't entertain me. Um,
but I feel kind of gross aboutit. You know. It's kind of
like, I don't know, it'slike seeing an old teacher at a strip
club and they're it's just weird butfunny, but you can't it grossed out

(41:49):
and you know, or like orif you're back in the video rental days,
like hey, my old, myold pastor's in here writing like you
know, like some porno with womenthat are like that's all pregnancy theme.
I don't know. My brand goesto dark places, but I respect.
I respect the insight you guys arethrowing for the skull and his amazing widows

(42:12):
speak of love, so thank you, thank you both. He's not above
the law. I have marked himfor death, but this album's okay,
now's the time. What time isit's time to get ill? Let's talk
beasties for a second, okay,because I'm I'd like to start if y'all
don't mind in the drag category.Now, I'd like to take you all

(42:35):
the way back to the early nineteennineties glide girls and flannel as far as
that I could see. Okay,So, now hip hop, which had
always been overshadowed by it's sort ofemergent. At the same time, big
brother of punk rock has finally kindof gone everywhere. It's it's it's infiltrated
everything right. It's no longer afat it's not a flash in the pan.

(42:59):
It's seer is and it's here tostay right, And it's been around
long enough now that we're get thenew school. A whole new generation of
rappers have sort of come up witha BDP and Big Daddy Kane and De
La Soul and NWA and on andon and on and on. White people
had not figured it out yet exceptfor the Beastie Boys, but they are
just the exception to every musical genre. They were going to fit in no

(43:21):
matter what they did, So theytechnically don't count and are in a category
by themselves. But there was ThirdBase much loved to Third Base Base.
They don't get the gas. Nowthe gas my heart just girts like three
times its own size. With thegas faces mentioned, we HB and I

(43:43):
have a deep, deep love forthird base. Prime Minister Pete and Nice
is my particular favorite, but ofcourse he's my favorite too. Ohay,
see okay, all right, goodgood good, Yeah, because Searches is
fun, but like he's not aslyrically as skilled as Prime Minister Pete and
Ice was Wow. I feel soold having this conversation right now. I

(44:04):
think the word is seasoned. Sothe other day I was just watching a
video with featuring mc search. Hetells the story. I don't know if
you ever heard this story about howmc hammer took out a hit on him
on third base. I'm gonna watcheverything with him. He is. He's
a racking tour man. I canwatch him very good at telling the story.

(44:25):
Yeah, he's very good. Yeah. And the White Rapper well,
and the White Rapper Show is ofcourse a classic. We're going down a
third base rabbit hole. No,we're talking about the early nineties right here,
and they are the actual exception tothe white Rapper rule because the only
other one, the real face ofit at the time is Vanilla Ice,
who does get the gas face.But one man sought to change at all.

(44:50):
He had the cred and he hadthe skills that's with a Z,
but most of all, he hadthe rhymes ready for him. I got
some you can't get ladies and gentlemen. That's David Faustino's Holy Shit mad Science.

(45:13):
That's Bud Bundy from Married with Childrenin his band Ballistics and his nineteen
ninety two that's his single. Itold you it doesn't get any better than
what you just heard, and whatyou just heard is fucking horrible. Whoa
I I'm floored. I'm flummixed andfloored and in awe of that cut that

(45:40):
I like, I'm bound down toit, like holy shit, that's that's
That's the one nobody talks about withgood reason, I guess. But it'll
it, you know, and Ithink it should in the way that Golden
Throats sort of was crystallizing our thoughtsabout crooners and just these sort of vanity
projects in general, and the earlynineties when that came out, like,

(46:00):
I'm sure there's an version of thatwith people from the nineties on that we
can eventually get into. But evidently, okay, So Festino gets on Married
with Children when he's like seventeen.By the time he's nineteen, he's got
a club called Ballistics that he's runningand it's a hip hop club to his
credit, and I'm and I'm surethe club featured tons of actual, really

(46:22):
good hip hop artists and got themnotice. And he did good in that
way. But he also, forsome motherfucking reason, thought he could rhyme.
And not only is his delivery fuckingterrible, but his lyrics. You
heard it, I'm playing it again. Let me know you can't get oi

(46:45):
yi yi oiii there that Yeah,that was I mean when when Vanilla ICE's
flow is sounded tight. Yeah,say what you want about about Rob van
Winkle, but he could fucking spitright all right, Well, and he's
got the attitude I don't. Thisis why I was talking earlier, where
people outstepped their limits in a waythat isn't you know, you don't feel

(47:09):
like they're like pushing themselves creatively.But it's more just like the Hubrists.
This is Hubris, This is littlelittle little Festino thinking he could be up
there and I, oh my god, like wow, I feel like people
doing rap badly is one of themost cringe It's almost like bad stand up
comedy where it makes you kind ofdie a little on the inside for some

(47:30):
reason, especially why white people likeI don't know, it's like, I
don't know, it's like, oh, like you better be like third base
if you're gonna do this. Youknow, a decade before that album came
out, that song, that clipthat I played you on Saturday Night Live,
Jim Belushi Future Blues Brother two thousanddoes count anyway. He did a

(47:52):
sketch on Saturday Night Live with AlexCarris and this is that that Well,
what guys, when we deliver whatIn nineteen eighty two, Jim Belushi was
saying, Hey, white people don'tdo this. Ten years Faustino like fulfills

(48:14):
that prophecy. First thing that Ithought of it. I don't know that
this can lay claim to to predate that David Faustino rapped, But the
first thing I thought of when youplayed that was Brian Austin Green on Beverly
Hills nine two and no doing fushNickins raps at the at the Beach Club.

(48:36):
The reason why I'm asking so youmay have a precursor to Fustino kind
of busting a rhyme. I thinkI think David Silver was probably he might
be the first sort of you know, exponent of that type of cringe rap.
Right. Well, that was theproducers of a television show in the
narrative of their shows, making himdo that. This is David Faustino going,

(49:00):
world needs to hear this. I'mgoing to put on record. I'm
going to press them. I'm goingto get me some of them new CD
things, and I'm going to sellthem and people will I'll have another career.
I won't need I won't need to. Peggy and uh Al and that
dog whatever the fuck its name wasanymore. I always loved it when he

(49:22):
liked the dog would have a vothat was always sorry, I love every
with children, but h okay,I was gonna see you guys. Though,
As far as like cringe levels,what do you think is more cringey
though? Faustino or Rappin' Rodney?Does anybody remember that? Of course?
I remember that. Yeah, Ithink I think that was robustin because that
wasn't look it was called Rappin' Rodney. But but he didn't rap. I

(49:45):
mean, he just basically did hisstand up while a chorus of women kind
of wrapped behind him or saying behindhim, it's not my idea of like
a hit single or anything. I'mnot going to listen to it for fun.
But but you know, Faustino,because that to circle back to the
original idea of vanity, like thatwasn't That's not Rodney Dangerfield doing something out

(50:06):
of vanity. That's him doing somethingthat's I'm sure that's some like his manager
saying like, hey, uh,the you know, the the Hippote hop
is pretty pretty out of sight.Now, let's do something to get the
kids, whereas Faustino's is purely like, hey, I can do this.
I'm cool. I can wrap,so I can't. I can put him
in the same category. Unfortunately,Well, no, I'm not saying I'm

(50:30):
not saying one's vanity. I'm nottalking about vanity levels. I'm just talking
about cringe level fast for me.Really, yeah, because I don't think
rapid Rodney's funny, right, it'sa failure, but it is. It's
it's a novelty record, you know. It's like, yeah, like it's
I agree with you, it's nota vanity thing. We're not judging it
on that. But I don't thinkhis intent with it was as a joke

(50:52):
and just because it failed. Itfailed, but like David Faustino syrious man,
but that but that somehow is funnyabout fun failed comedy. NWA,
Like I was in La at thistime, and actually it was by then
it was ice Cube Cube was waseverywhere and everything at the time. Could

(51:12):
you imagine putting like dre put outthe chronic and this kid put out it's
like running a club that like isfeaturing prominent hip hop artist and new emerging
artists and like where how where isthat disconnect in his brain that he thought,

(51:35):
Yeah that mine is as valid them. And let me let me ask
you this thought. Let me letme ask you this, like what what
is more authentic? Uh? Faucinodoing whatever he's doing or snow doing?
Informer, this Canadian white rapper who'saffected a patois you know, rapping about
like being a you know, likeyou know, an informer, a drug

(51:58):
dealer guy? Like I think that'sequally cringey to me? Was this song
the Informer? Was it good?What did did they have to investigate to
figure out that this person was wasa white guy from Canada? But he
was in prison when that song hit, Like he actually did snow hats.
There you go, I stay corrected, but I I for me, yeah,

(52:22):
I look, I could see that. But I also don't think he's
from Jamaica. He may have donea lot of stuff, but I don't
think. I don't think he canlay claim to like being like a rastaman.
Who can you know you can Harrybet Lafonte he was from fucking Queens.
Yeah, but he had we hadfamily that he would spend time with
in the Islands, in you know, the West Indies. So I give

(52:45):
him credit for that. He hadlineage that dated back to that. That
style of music. I think itdoesn't hear very bother go and say fucking
Queens. It's like it's my newfavorite thing. That was beautiful. Um,
I will say this, so youguys awakened a beautiful memory for me.
An example of mid eighties good whitewrapping that not enough people talk about

(53:08):
unless you've seen the movie tape Heeds. But I got to talk about King
Cotton's Roscoe and shaken waffles and wordwrap, which is amazing, beautiful.
It's a thing of beauty, right, I seriously love it. It's great.
I had the videotape, I hada pirated videotape of taps, which
I think they would have appreciated,Mike Nesmith would have appreciated. And from

(53:31):
that I recorded the audio of hisRoscoe's Chicken Waffles wrap to like put on
mixtapes. That is amazing, Ohmy god, because you know why,
because waffles just pancakes with little squashgirls, and waffles just pancakes with little

(53:53):
squas. Do you guys have feela little bad though, like punching itself
artists, because like I do,think he's no you know, look like
I appreciate the earnestness and a foreffort, but get the fuck out of
here with this nonsense. This issomething that you play for your friends.

(54:15):
And that's where do you guys think. Brian Austin green Ever referred to himself
as the notorious PhD. Suddenly proudof myself father in that I have not
considered Brian Austin gained for like twentyfive years. I'm so jealous. Apparently
he's the living right free in ourminds projects. Try and top Faustino.

(54:37):
It's a faust Oh, I cantop Faustino in three notes, my my
one of my bad I have severalbad. One of my bad is a
recent discovery. It is you knowhim, you love him, from such
films as Good Fellas You Loved Him? Uh in uh home Alone. This

(54:59):
is Joe Peshi with his nineteen ninetyeight album Vincent LaGuardia Gambini sings just for
you? Dare you do you?Guys? Did you? Guys? This
is this on your list now?Heather, Heather and I on occasion drop

(55:20):
onto Chris Stashue's podcast, The CultureCast, and Peshi is a free fu
likewise, and this particular period ofhis artistic endeavors comes up frequently. Okay,
but I was not ready. Ohmy god, I'm so glad you

(55:42):
didn't tell me HP. I'm soglad the surprise. Oh. In fact,
and I told Stashia we were doingthis topic. He said, oh,
you're going to do the PI albumlike I'm sure I thought. I
had thought you were going to bringit up only as a good one.
I mean, how much comedy,how much comedy legit? Have we?

(56:05):
Mind alone? From the you seeh for anybody listening for in for Harris
Um Chris and I don't think thisoriginal instant made it on any episode.
I think this was we were justbullshitting after we got recorded, and I
think it was the Dragnet episode thatwas the origin. Uh, And Chris
was like, oh, I gotsome shit for your guys's ass and plays

(56:30):
this Joe Pesci track from this albumyou just mentioned and which there's he says
what I can't remember the actual lyricist, but it sounds like he's opening the
song sing eat my ass, heeat eat out. It sounds and he
sounds like it's a threat, likehe's like, that's an and the way

(56:50):
he does it and the way Chriswould then do it, like Chris's Chris
Statue's Joe Pescia. You can't plastif you move to fast. Tell me
you have stats on this album,because we so. Information is unfortunately a
little bit hard to come by onthis. I do know it came out

(57:13):
and I I know I listened toit, so you don't have to.
And that's so that's a warning.I'm not recommending you do it. Because
as bad as the journey down someof these vanity projects has been, like
this, this is probably the worstum because there's really no there's nothing.
I mean, I guess the redeemingfeature is that look like he's very foul

(57:36):
mouth and he's clearly having fun withwhat he's doing, but that that fun
doesn't extend to the listener. Hehas Maybe the song you're referferencing is the
song Take Your Love and Shove It. Uh. It could be the song
I've Got News for You. Uh. He also has a song called Yo
Cousin Vinnie, which he for somereason, it's he does it in English,

(58:00):
and he does it in Spanish,and he does it so there's three
songs in English, Italian and Spanish. Uh. He does a song called
White Wise Guy, which I kidyou not. All he did was take
the backing from the Blondie classic Raptureand he raps his own song over it.
It's I it's terrible. It's justit's terrible. I will not be

(58:28):
listening to it again for any reasonother than a podcast or something I have
to do. It's bad. Ithink it was kind of like you get
the sense that he thinks he's beingfunny and this is big giant joke.
But this no one's laughing except forJoe Peschi. Let's be honest, and
uh, well, but we havea little bit of an ironic distance from

(58:51):
it at this point, I don'tknow who the audience was in nineteen ninety
eight for this. You know,maybe I don't know. Maybe I can
make the said it's a comedy album, but it's it's terrible. The same
people who about the California Raisins albumCalifornia that is great. So the eighties

(59:16):
was so terrible. Yeah, itwas pretty bad. It was pretty bad,
but terrible. Nobody ever want togo back to the eighties. Trust
us, we survived it, andwe literally had the The California Raisins were
a thing that existed visually and andon audio. What a nightmare those were,
those little stepping Raisins. My god, it's Bob Bilthoit's phrasing for them.

(59:44):
Hit us with a terrible man aproject. Please, I'm just I
feel like you guys have taken meon such an emotional brotherer Hoster, the
good, the bad, the ugly, the eat out my ass partion of
show Oh boy Hattie. I.My contribution is not even an album specifically,

(01:00:07):
it's one. It's a category andit's this horrible thing that's trending right
als a phrase uh nepo kids meaningyeah, people that are basically have careers
specifically because of nepotism and nothing else. So it's not like, say,
you know, okay, well MileyCyrus has famous parents, but she has

(01:00:28):
talent in other areas so she doesn'treally count. And at this point she's
more famous than her parents. Sosame name with Rickie Nelson. They're great,
like Ricky Nelson, like he actuallysurpassed that and made some great music.
Chet Hanks, the son of TomHanks and Rita Wilson, not so
much. I feel so bad forthose parents and Colin Hanks because you know

(01:00:52):
they're looking at this this, this, this this d bag entitle bagaboo of
a child, like you know,you know, that's like the ass baby
every even good parents are gonna havethat one kid. If you have enough
kids, that one kid's gonna letyou down and make you question. They're
like, well, Colin, whydidn't he turn out like Colin cal It's

(01:01:14):
not a douche bag call. It'snot appropriating African American culture and having women
turking and breaking bottles on the pavementand is I mean, I hate that
I even know who this motherfucker is. I resent it. I have brainspace
that could be going for something thatwill better in my life, and instead,
I know who chat Hanks is.It's one time, then it's over

(01:01:35):
with this to give. She saidin my DM, I'm supposed to hit
this so thick hard, I'm supposedto fit and I resent that. At
least David Faustino was in buried withchildren. It was really funny in it.
At least at least Joe Peshi's agreat one of our greatest actors.
Joe pesci is as a gym andthat album makes me laugh my ass off.

(01:01:57):
I'm sorry, Harris isn't good.No, I'm not gonna say it's
good. Does it make me laugh? You better believe it. Chris Dashy
doing it's even funnier for the record, But the NEPO babies, this is
bullshit. I'm sorry. You shouldbe proud to have pride and a talent
that you have earned. Ricky Nelsonwhen he buked his parents, Auntie Nelson

(01:02:19):
didn't make that kind of music.He wasn't into the rock and roll.
Ricky Nelson, you know, followedhis path and and you know, and
now you know went to this day. We know his music, his sons
Nelson not so much, but youknow what, they they followed their passion
and they are I guess talented.The more talented the Chet Hanks, that's

(01:02:40):
for sure. And it's not evenjust like, oh, I'm gonna dog
on the rap guy. Now,rap is a viable music and like anything
else, when it's done right,it's powerful and you know, but when
you know, uh, fucking ChetHanks. I hate this to quote Joe
Pashi eating out my hats if sincewe're recording in honor of Chris Stature,

(01:03:02):
because we all love Chris and allof us have been on the Culture Cast
together, um, I feel likeI feel like Chris will give me a
hard time if I don't mentioned twovanity albums because we're both pro wrestling fans.
Now, I don't personally, Ifeel like there's some merits to both
of these albums, faint in away, faint merits, but I wouldn't

(01:03:23):
call them like the worst, butquestionable for sure because Watching Man Randy Savage
did a rap album, which isit's I yeah, but I mean but
I love watcha Man and hearing hisvoice, especially when he says like baby
girl like and he says he's tryingto be romantic, but he's like,

(01:03:44):
girl, I love it. Andhe has a whole disc track on Hogan,
which is I mean, come on, that's wonderful. And then of
course Hogan had the album Uh andI'm talking what was that called? But
I know, like, but theMayor's on that is Jimmy Hart, like
yeah, basically helped write and produceit. And yeah, I mean Jimmy

(01:04:06):
Hart. He was really He's avery he was a very good songwriter.
Yeah, he did it. Hewas all over those wrestling albums, like
the ones with um like mean Geneand all that. Yeah, the wrestling
album. I think I love thatwrestling album. I played out of it.
Oh my god. Well and Imean a true American. Oh yeah,

(01:04:29):
well I did get Roddy Piper singing, which makes my heart. I'm
Roddy Piper's one, number one,oh forever and always. So yeah,
it was so proud of my Scottishheritage. Okay, listen, my name
is Malone, but I'm Scottish becauseof Roddy Piper. I feel like you
were about to go into a rapwith that. Oh you don't want to
hear me rap. I'm at leastwiser than you know, but you know

(01:04:54):
it, Hans. He said hewas like seventeen when he did that.
No, he was nineteen when hedid that. Oh but still like,
I'm so glad. No, nopass for fasting now. No people did
stupid shit when we were nineteen,but none of us made a record label,
put a fucking album out and pretendedto be on par with fucking Doctor
Dre. I've got another bad album, Ladies and Gentlemen. Scarlett Johansson put

(01:05:17):
out an album that's a cover ofTom Waite's records. Oh god, I
forgot about that. I think it'sbecause I kind of blocked it out.
Yeah, like like if I wasmolested by a Satanic group. It's in
that sort of cortex of the brain. First of all, who is this
spur is Scarlet Johansson. I ama Tom wait sans. It's not for

(01:05:41):
me because he's a fucking gun.But Scarlett Johansson's Anywhere I Lay my Head
album cover of Tom Waite songs,which by the way, her interpretations of
are like it sounds like air.It's like it's music for a fucking Sophia
Coppola movie. It's it's Tom White'scovers which I don't know. Maybe it's

(01:06:11):
a good idea, but the executionis not good at all, And she's
not you were I was expecting.She's got a deep voice, Scarlett Johansson.
So I was expecting some gravel,because that's what I love about Tom.
That's right on a first name basisme and Waits, Well, she
kind of goes for a lilt andI don't know, it's it's it's puzzling.

(01:06:31):
It's puzzling, it's it's not necessarilybad. I think if I just
heard the songs, I wouldn't beoffended, But like as a Waits fan,
I'm offended, and just as awhat the fuck were you thinking?
Fan? I guess I'm I guessI'm pro in that case. But yeah,
that's that's a bad album. That'sa vanity project. I mean points

(01:06:56):
for her for having good taste,you know, I can, I can
give her that. I'm not I'mnot really a huge scar Joe hater.
I don't really. I always stillfelt like with the Ghost World cast that
I mean, the real talent andthat was thorpe Urch. Oh yeah,
right about that. Yeah, Ifeel like we live in I love Scarlett
Joetta don't get me wrong. Ithink she's fucking phenomenally talented. Uh just

(01:07:18):
maybe don't record other people's music.They did it already, you don't have
to, right, I will saythat as far as like actress is doing
music, she's far less offensive thanGwyneth Paltrow. Right on. Remember when
Gwyneth Paltrow we've figured out she cancarry a tune, we were all supposed
to fucking fall all over ourselves,like suddenly she's a fucking genius, as

(01:07:41):
if every actress in the nineteen thirtiescouldn't sing as good or better than Gwyneth
Paltrow. And then she started showingup on people's like shit, remember when
was Celo Green had that hit thatfuck you tune? Yeah? Right,
and then she like showed up onsome show and like performed to do it
with and then like every time heshowed up to perform the song, she
was there performing, and it seemed, holy god, what a nightmare that

(01:08:04):
was. Gwyneth Paltrow, we getit, you can carry a fucking tune.
Nobody cares. She's like a yeastinfection. You know, you just
can't get rid of her. It'slike you eat all the probiotics, you
eat your Greek yogurt. You know, you don't wear super tight pants,
you try not to take too manyantibiotics. And yeah, there she is.
There she is Gwyneth Paltrow with herher vagina candles and her blandess acting

(01:08:30):
and her she's just like God,she's she's awful, Like she offends me
with how bland she is. Soyeah, I would be yeah, car
sco Hinson's way better, but yeah, I don't. Yeah, I mean
nobody. If you're gonna cover TomWaits, you better be on close to
the level of a Tom Waits,you better be that cool. You know,

(01:08:53):
hb what do you? Very quieter? Oh? No, I so
I was when we when we broughtup this idea of vanity projects. This
was the first thing that came tomy mind. And I know that Heather
also thought of this. This isa bit of a complex legacy that the
one I'm thinking of is Chris Gaines. It's called Chris Gaines's Greatest Hits.
It was Garth Brooks is so excitedfor his ill advised attempt. He had

(01:09:18):
an idea for a feature film.It was going to be called The Lamb
and his and it was going tobe about this sort of doomed you know,
rocker named Chris Gaines, and hewas going to be played by Garth
Brooks. And it started by heproduced a behind the music on VH one,

(01:09:40):
and but it was it was amockumentary. Was basically him as Chris
Gaines and all of the supporting playersand talking about how what a great legacy
the guy had and blah blah blahblah blahlah. But anyway, the thing
of it is, uh, it'sit was not successful and no one could
really understand what he was trying todo. His fans were confused. The

(01:10:03):
album itself was received with confusion andand it would received mixed reviews. He
actually, I think he was.Also he performed as Chris Gaines on SNL
the same week that he was.He was the musical guest and the host.
Remember what the thing of it is? Uh? I went back and

(01:10:23):
listened to it again. Do youremember what he played? Again? Do
you remember what he played? Whatthe song? I mean as far as
the character, Yeah, what ChrisGaines? What were his song choices?
On his chance? I don't getto America? What this twisted dark rocker

(01:10:46):
was going to be I remember,I remember. No one will dispute that
he's he was a talented, youknow, country singer songwriter. The man
is a good performer. He's gota great voice. So the project had

(01:11:12):
that going for it. And infact, what people forget about the album
was it did have a legitimate topforty single come off of it, I'll
Lost in You. It hit theBillboard to one hund top forty, and
it's it's a good song in theand again in this adult contemporary vein,
it's very very good. If ifthis was produced by anyone else, there

(01:11:36):
was no uh, sort of disguiseof a character you're performing behind this.
This was this was a relatively youknow, moderate hit, and it's it's
performed well, it's it's a goodsong in that vein. So much like
our discussion about Seagal, in thiscase, you can't I can't alt it

(01:12:00):
on its musical merits or lack thereof, because it's it. He was a
good singer songwriter. It's not likethe guy couldn't sing and perform and write
music. But the issue here isthe hubrists, the pure hubrists involved in
just deciding, well, I'm goingto take on this character and I'm going

(01:12:21):
to produce this opus about this guythat is totally, you know, outside
of my comfort zone. And youknow, it was it and maybe in
different hands or in a different timeand place, it might have been accepted
a little bit more readily. Butit was wrong place, wrong time,
wrong project for Garth Brooks. Andit's hard to imagine it's not being the

(01:12:45):
biggest sort of a stain on hison a relatively storied country career. It
seemed to me that we were gettingadvertised to Trent Resner and what we got
was Michael Bolton. That's there.Look, I I can't defend the man
on the I mean, on hischoice of like it was supposed to be

(01:13:08):
like a dark rocking guy, right, I Look, I don't remember the
end. I know that part ofit was, well, he wasn't not.
Here's the thing, it wasn't supposedto be. There was no this
guy wasn't the second coming of AlJurgenson. That wasn't the character. It
was more, if I remember,this was more in the vein of a

(01:13:28):
moody kind of rocker. Maybe hehad some nail polish on, some he
colored his nails, but it wasmore in a in a kind of for
lack of a better word, hewas like a sensitive kind of rock rock
star. But it wasn't. Butit was never gonna be Trent Resner or
like I said, uncle Al oranything like that. The album doesn't support

(01:13:51):
that thesis because it's mostly you know, mid tempo rockers, some nods to
R and B. But but Iagain, like musically, if this came
from anybody else, or if hejust said I'm Garth Brooks and I'm producing
an album of you know, I'mgoing to take a left turn here and

(01:14:12):
produce an album of R and Badult contemporary music, it would have been
fine. But to mask it behindthis sort of character that just confused people
and was you know, maybe PeteTownsend levels of delusion about what the project
is going to encompass. That's wherethings got tripped up. But musically it's
fine. I mean, it's youknow, I can't fault to him on

(01:14:34):
that score. I have a friendwho posited a theory to me about actress
An Affairs who I adore. AnAffairs is always comedically naked. It's always
a flash of her butt or somethingor like side boob or something and his
attitude is she just wants to benaked on screen but can't commit to it,
so she makes it as a joke. So do you think this was

(01:14:56):
Garth Brooks was like, I'm kindof tired of count I'd like to do
this other thing, but I can'tjust do it. I gotta have it
wrapped up in this burrito of Trentand movie deals and wasting everyone's time on
SNL in which otherwise was a veryfunny episode. He was very funny in
it. Now, I mean backthen he was that was his lane.

(01:15:20):
He was the country guy. Hewas probably the biggest country star around at
that time. So, you know, the prospect of and maybe this was
something I don't know what the historyis behind the scenes, it could have
been. Maybe he did say Iwant to do this, but management is
like, no, you can't alienateyour audience. This was a may perhaps

(01:15:41):
a way that he could have hiscake and eat it too much. Not
making a direct comparison, but look, you know, Stephen King had a
you know, he took another name, was it Richard Bachman? He put
up books as as Richard Bachman.Why let me ask you, father Malone
being a big Stephen King fan.Why would Stephen King put out books under

(01:16:03):
an assumed name, Well, initiallyit was because they didn't want to flood
the market. He had already hadtoo many books out, and and he
had the luxury because of that situationto judge his works and think like,
well, I'm not that totally proudof this, but you know, he
would have eventually put them out anyway, and he did obviously, But I

(01:16:25):
think that was the initial epitus.I think that probably came from the publisher
more than him, if I'm rememberingcorrectly, and I might not be,
because my Stephen King knowledge, althoughit spans nearly fifty fucking years, it
ain't as sharp as it used tobe because fifty years, yeah, well
it's a lot. I mean,there's a lot that's more prolific. I

(01:16:47):
think probably, I don't know whatyou guys think. I think the behind
the music probably hurt it the mostin some ways, because if you watch
it and it's i mean it's comedy, goal old it is, they are
playing it definitely serious. It's veryvery that's the thing. There's no it's

(01:17:08):
very very dour because that was thecharacter, and it's played very seriously.
But they don't really have the chopsany of them to pull this off.
And the self seriousness of that,I mean, I think people were already
sharpening there now when they saw thealbum cover and and he's wearing the like
the guyliner and he's got like asoul patch and a full head of hair.

(01:17:30):
When the guy in reality had okay, it was laughable and he was
it was never going to come offafter that. But I guess my theory
is maybe in a different time,with more accepting you know, public,
perhaps he could have just said,look, this is where my head is
at right now. I'm gonna putthis out. It's not country, but

(01:17:51):
see what you think. But somehowthe wires got crossed and he felt like
he had to make a grander statementand I'm not really sure why. Well,
the thing about the behind the musicthat I was going to get to
that, to me, the clincheris the whole premise that they have an
actor, a younger actor that lookskind of like an Eddie Vedder cast off
playing the og Chris Games, andthe whole thing is he gets in a

(01:18:15):
quote unquote disfiguringly a disfiguringly bad onefor stan plastic surgery and then when he
comes out look at like Garth Brooks, which what he had. I'm like
is Garth Brooks have some esteem issues. Like it's not like it's not you
know, I mean Garth Brooks isn'tI mean I have Maybe he's a very
upgrade. Okay, he described himselfas a thumb and a cowboy hat,

(01:18:44):
so I mean he's not that bad. There's part of the reason I think
he appealed to He's obviously his talent, but also like because I remember going
to school, little roper kids andlike their dads, some of their dads
could look like Garths, Like GarthBrooks has like that every man kind of
thing. Like that's not a badthing. He's not a bad looking guy,
but he's not like a pretty boy. He's not really handsome. He's

(01:19:08):
not John Saxon, why I loveJohn Saxon time. But but it's the
whole accident in plus, I'm sorry. The soul patch is a facial hair
that is really hard to get awaywith. Like there there are exceptions,
like there are in life. Thevery few guys, especially in the Garth
Brooks age range, are good ornot. It looks like a midlife crisis.

(01:19:30):
It's a cry for help. It'slike, I'm still cool, guys.
Look I got so definitely ever lookedgood on Ellwood and Jake Blues.
There you go, arcle. It'sa big musical wheel we're on. It's
fascinating though, And I'm glad thatGarth Brooks did that. I mean,

(01:19:53):
good for him. It was amisstep. He's fine, I mean he's
still He had a concert in myparts of the world in Northwest Arkansas last
year and there was such a hugeturnout that it legit angered me because trying
to navigate this town with that manypeople in a smaller college town was an

(01:20:14):
ass pane and also having to seea bunch of like people yeehaw and Miles
Savis, I believe once said somethingthe fact that if you see a bunch
of white people in a pickup truckgoing eeha, get the fuck out because
something stupid's about to happen. That'sa paraphrase, but I think he's right.
I think you got the spirit ofthe thing, the spirit the tenor

(01:20:34):
Yeah. I just want to takea moment to say, like, you
know, as much as I'm kickingDavid Fustino like he did, put that
record out like he did marshal theforces and the creativity, and he produced
that thing, and like good forhim. It's who am I I'm just
some guy a voice in the wilderspot. It is really fucking bad.

(01:20:58):
It's way worse than Christy. Asyou said, HP, it's it's ultimately
just a passable adult contemporary as theStephen saigal One was, as the Scarlett
Johansson thing is. Really ultimately it'sall just passable entertainment. I can't get
all too angry about it. Hey, remember the grandfather of all of these.

(01:21:25):
Oh my god, no, no, I can't listen. I can
never hate on this because of RickJames. Party all the Time is a
banger, I mean, and it'sless of a banger because of Ddie Murphy
more because of Rick James being behindit. But it's Rick James. Rick
James is legit, leg You don'tget much more legit music wise than Rick
James. I realize my timing isbecause we're discussing the worst of the worst

(01:21:50):
with good old Lady Murphy's Party allthe Time. Because as you said,
it's a really fucking good song.Ultimately, it's a great album and it
is because of Rick James. Sothose are If Rick James had put that
record out, we would all justbe listening to Rick Rick James party all
the time. I love him.It's a good album. It is it

(01:22:11):
though, Oh no, I meanit got worse. I mean think Eddie
Murphy anything else. Well that MichaelJackson do it he did was really bad.
You guys remember that What's Up withYou? Yeah? Yeah, that
was that was a choice. Yeah. I find it's funny because I think
that I always through the Holy Trinityof the eighties like Vanity projects, because

(01:22:32):
you know, we got Eddie Murphy, as you mentioned, we mentioned Bruce
Willis earlier. Of course you hadDon Johnson with his LP and long form
music video for Heartbeat, uh,which I believe Jones Jones Severance is in
that video. Like it's crazy,Like I remember his Dweezel Zappa had like

(01:22:54):
a Neon Green guitar. Yeah.But that's the weird thing is that SAP
like Johnson and Murphy got some reallygreat legit musicians to work with them on
those albums. I don't know aboutthe Bruce Willis one. I know Motown
released it, which is very nicefor the current state of affairs. Okay,

(01:23:14):
I know, but that was originallygoing to be my pick, but
I felt bad and Bruce will wasa great actor, Like there's no hate
for Bruce Willis. But he alsoput out like a long form video of
all of those things where it waslike an HBO you know, thanks.
Some of it is very very funny, um and it's fucking bar music.
It's bar band shit ultimately, youknow what I mean, Like it's out

(01:23:35):
on Motown. But really it's justlike you know, Jay sub Jay Giles
band level kind of shit is ultimately, So it's not that offensive. It
ain't. It ain't a Faustino level. I'm I'm I'm I'm angling guys to
see which was the worst of theworst, because I still maintain it was
Faustino. I think Chet Hanks,Oh yeah, shit, you're right,

(01:24:00):
yeah, I think. I mean, it's Fastino. It's happening like now
I know, but it's it's bad. It's bad. It's like it's it's
bad, uh Fastino. Though thatcut, this is a musician par excellance
going in waters that he should neverhave gone into. And I'm talking about
Keith Moon, the dearly departed drummerfrom the Who. He put out a

(01:24:26):
solo album before he died called Uh, two Sides of the Moon Moon.
You won't find a bigger fan ofKeith Moon era Who then and then.
I love Keith Moon. I thinkhe's like as brilliant a drummer as you

(01:24:49):
could ever hope for. But havingsaid that, the man was no singer.
Uh, and this and it's reallya sad just to sad state of
affairs because he just I don't know, this is a vanity project in the
sense that I'm sure he just figured, well, I'm Keith Moon, I'm

(01:25:10):
popular and this is you know,maybe I can you know, earn a
few bucks off of this and whatever, and I don't need to, you
know. But it's bad. Imean, it's mostly covers I think he
did in my life by the Beatles. I think he did some. Maybe
there's a Lenin cover on there somewhereperhaps, But it's just not it's just

(01:25:32):
sad, not good. Actually,I'm looking at it here, I'm looking
at the producers. Among the producers, are you ready for this? Father
Maloone, Steve the Colonel Cropper.So once again it comes three hundred and
sixty degrees all the way back tothe Blues Brothers. All Roads lead to

(01:25:53):
Chicago, Sweet Home Chicago. Yeah, so that's so. Yeah. I
don't I don't have any big upon that. I just I remember getting
excited when they reissued it because Inever heard it and I picked it up
and I was immediately disappointed because hejust he sounds awful. I don't know
if you know that he's playing drumsover the whole CD. So it's it's

(01:26:15):
bad, sad, really, youknow. I don't want to end on
a sad note, though. Canwe have a little bit at least a
tiny bit of love for Richard Harrisand his musical endeavors? McArthur Arthur Park?
Oh yeah yeah? And that gaveus a big at the great SETV

(01:26:35):
sketches with Dave Thomas doing his amazingRichard Harris and day like the Long Like
Extended Dance Mix pile. I justsaw. I love SETV. I just
saw like there was a sketch wherethey were kind of making fun of M
who was Rick Morandis was doing GeorgeCarlin because Carlin apparently I had gotten sort

(01:26:56):
of lazy in his comedy rock morandisdoes an amazing anybody and his Carlin is
fantastic anyway, I'm sorry, Yeah, yeah, it's a and you know
Richard Harris that I mean Ernest Holy, I mean they he should have changed
his name to Ernest Ernest Harris becausehis his performance of Accarthur Park and My

(01:27:18):
Boy h which our late friend RichardI used to torment with and he would
just chuckle and just be like goodlords. And I gave the LP to
him for his birthday and so I'man asshole, I guess, I don't
know. It was it was fun. It was fun. Richard Harris is

(01:27:38):
great and uh and MacArthur Park's amazing. Donna Summer's version is technically better,
but I have love in my heartfor the og. Well, you know,
he was he was always an alreadyan accomplished singer. We had him,
we had him singing Camelot like,let's yeah, let's get out of
the negative into the positive, accentuatethe positive of as Dean Martin used to

(01:28:00):
say, uh final spin of therecord, Ladies and Gentlemen, HP,
Yes, sir, he said,album based it out of how vain you
are? And we all know youare. Would you call that album?
I would call that album dim commercialprospects. I love that you used to

(01:28:21):
undercut everything I slagged you down forverse a twist. You want my like?
Do you want the musical genre orthe actual album title? Both?
The musical genre that would be like, uh, cabaret cabaret sort of gothic

(01:28:45):
murder ballads, and the album wouldbe called erotic clown murder ballads. I
think it would be funny. Iwant to add that my list right now.
Honestly, I think it would befun I don't say it would be
good because I have no unlike Unlikeyour two gentleman, especially our beloved HP,
who is a wonderful musician, Ihave no musical acumen, but I

(01:29:11):
love music. I got a lotof heart, to quote Sanders loss from
a straight to Hell, got alot of heart. As for me,
I went full vein Father Malone,Blessed in the West, Oh shit.
And the music would be a sortof a like a TROPICICALI that's what I

(01:29:32):
go for, just sort of ahappy beach music with a country Western Mexican
flavor. Take take take my money, right, yeah, just take it
because I want that and I wantI want your dim commercial prospects too.
Yeah, that's the best title I'veever heard. That's like as an album

(01:29:53):
title. I love it. Yeah, that title cries out for massive sort
of setting myself up to fail becauseyou kind of figure there must be an
irony to it, and it's itcouldn't. But now the actual fact is
it probably would have very dim commercialprospects. So what are you gonna do?
All right? Then? Listen,ladies and gentlemen, thank you all
for joining us here at Noise Junkiesand dipping your toe into the ocean that

(01:30:16):
is ultimate vanity. Heather, tellus what you're up to? Well up
on my website Mondo Heather dot com. I just put out a new article
about some of my favorite scenes ofthe various shades of love and cinema,
So please check that out and keepup with me there and on social media
and Patreon under at Mondo Heather.Yeah, go seek her out. As

(01:30:41):
for you, HP, what areyou up to? I am up to
no good. I am the cohost of the Wolf and Raisin the Bandit
Check podcast with the esteemed colleague tomy left father, Malone. We also
co host The Night Mister Walters ataxi podcast. I do the occasional spot
on Culture Cast with the current Companyoccasionally and also listen my music appears here

(01:31:09):
and there and the weird Way network. I'm on Astounding Tales of the Public
Domain. Can you hear hear me? Be there and elsewhere, including the
Bumpers on this very network. That'sme. You've already twice listened to the
music of HP did the bumper andour theme song. As for me,
if you want to hear anything Ido, go to Weirdingwaymedia dot com.

(01:31:31):
HP mentioned Astounding Tales of the PublicDomain. One of the shows I do
midnight viewing, the Night Gallery podcast. That's another one. Hey, Chronicles
from the Crypt. That's an oldone that's already done. You can listen
to all of it and it's entirety. That's about Tales from the Crypt.
Everyone loves it right because it wasthe best. It wasn't If you listen
to our episodes you'll you'll understand why. And we're huge fans anyway. Oh

(01:31:53):
also go to Fatherblone dot com thatthat that'll like you to all the crazy
visual bullshit that I'm up to.Anyway, Thank you all for joining us.
Here on noised Junkies. I don'thave a catchphrase. I always stumble
at the end here. I'll thinkof it maybe four episodes in

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