117. The Audition Special

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And what if I lost both my hands tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
You could be a seat model start. I was sixteen
at the time or fifteen and uh, and then hook
it up with a witch and that was that. Cats
can smile apparently, whoa weird, But it doesn't always mean
that they're happy.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Soucy receives a call from what I can only assume
is the future winner of every acting award ever.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Yeah, Jennyman is a star. Her look looks weren't a
part of the issue.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
He's like, I had to sell my last top hat
for Jannas.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Maybe this is not appropriate EI there, but we'll see.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
What's up. Nostalgean Nerds, thank you for joining us today.
Sorry for the mini hiatus. We've just been really busy.
So at first, we just want to thank everybody for
voting for us. We don't know if we won, we
won't know until August, but we do appreciated it. I
got messages people going like, hey, I'm trying to vote
every day and I voted and stuff like that, so
I really appreciate it. A lot of fun. So yeah,

(01:07):
if we.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Didn't if we didn't win, we're gonna storm the fucking capital.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Yes, but at least you're not dead to us now.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah. Yeah, And if you didn't vote for us, you did,
you did, you did, You're dead.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
And another thing we were doing for the little hiatus
is we auditioned for some place we did.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
We did, and then sidebar. I'm not sure if this
one comes out after the introduction of the news notable news,
but I did flush the toilet. So so people that
listen to every episode, I did, Yes, So yes. We
auditioned for a couple of plays. I auditioned for the
musical adaptation of Hairspray and Andy.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I auditioned for a comedic, pretty small cask play called
Black Comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah. So in this episode, we're gonna kind of we
recorded a little bits and pieces of our practicing, a
little bit of our feelings prior feelings after the audition,
that kind of thing. So we just wanted to kind
of take you on that journey.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah. And so for me personally, this is the very
first time I ever auditioned for a play, and I
was super scared, but I was like, you know what,
I'm just gonna go in. It's gonna be a brand
new experience. Before I started, I already thought I wasn't
gonna get it, not in like the way to where
it's like, oh if I don't get it, whatever, I'm
just like, Okay, it's my very first time, probably not
gonna get it. There's probably a lot of talent talented

(02:28):
people there, so I'm just gonna go in and do
you one hundred percent and throw myself in.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, what about you?

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Have you ever auditioned before?

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I have never auditioned for a play like this. Like
in high school, I was in a couple of plays.
I was in the play high school version of Lem's
Rob Hollo Dolly, and then a non musical play called
The Diviners, which was so fun. It was like about
this old town in like the twenties or whatever where

(02:55):
there was a drought and there was this one little
boy who could detect where water was then he would
find out where it's at. And I played this. I
was definitely typecast. I played this farm hand who was
very fucking gay, and in one of the scenes I
have to teach my other farm hand how to slow dance,
So I was totally typecast. I remember, yeah, who pooped

(03:17):
on the toilet seat in the dressing room and I
like flipped the funk out when I saw it. So
he was a larger than life like, not making a joke,
but he literally could be a body double for drop
of the hut. He was so large and slug like.
And so he pooped on the toilet seat and just
left it there. Because I always ever time I poop anywhere,
I always do a second guest for the most part,

(03:39):
not tonight at your home, but but I always do
make sure I leave it better than I left it,
like when you go camping, that's what you're supposed to do.
He left poop all the h he did, so I
told the drama teas from a speaker, Hey, what's up?
And I flipped out and I was like, pooped on
the toilet seat, this is disgusting, irresponsible, blah blah blah,

(03:59):
And so she called the custodian to clean it.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Anyways, I did an audition for a play, but I
was I got cast in a play in high school.
It was Annie gets your Gun. I think I'm immercorrectly,
but she goes, I want you to play the chief.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
I was like, which I was thinking about doing it,
but I graduated early and so then I already had
a full time job so then I was like in
my head, I was like, well, I don't want to
talk like this the entire time because I'm an Indian,
you know. Like I was like, I don't know, that
sounds just not very much fun. I'm Indian in real
life and I talk like this. I guess I could
just anyways. But then I was like, well, I don't
want to have to like try to, you know, get

(04:36):
time off of work to go to do them, Like
I just never went.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Same thing, like I got auditioned an audition, I got
cast in Caesar the final in my senior year, and
I same thing. I was like, how I went the
first half of the year to school and then I
was like done, And I didn't want to like be
like one one foot into adulthood and one foot into
like school. Yeah, I was like, I'm out.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Some of my best moments like memories of high school
is being in drama. So like, I that's one reason,
and I've been wanting to do this for years, but
like I didn't know too many places actually had auditions
for adults. And then it just seems like every time
I like remembered to look, I was like a day
or two late I'm like, fuck. The audition was like
two three days ago, so that's why Luckily Jeff saw

(05:21):
this and he's like, I'm gonna and I was like, oh,
I'm gonna check it out. Yeah, then there's one I
was interested in.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
It was so fun to do it, and to do
it with you. Yeah, that made I was just like
the Krim to the Krim, like that was so fun
to do and be a partner on that. And we auditioned.
So it's a little local community theater called Pinnacle out
kind of in the woods of West Sala, Morgan And
the play that I auditioned for, Hairspray was the audition

(05:47):
took place in the actual auditorium with stage and everything.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
There was a shit ton of people, many.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
People, and then Andy's took place more in the lobby
downstairs where the restroom was up later, yes, and and
it was it was a fun It was a very
fun experience. But spoiler alert, neither one of us got cast,
so you will hear our optimism, particularly with me, throughout

(06:15):
this episode. So we did not get cast. I think
the main reason I didn't get cast is because I
didn't sing.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
But you didn't sing it your addition, I don't sing well.
I see what you're saying, but later on listener, I
think you did good. We have a clip, I think.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
And I think what I What I don't bring necessarily
to singing ability is I bring a lot of charisma
and comedic timing. Yes, you can't teach that.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
No, but the role you're going for, I guess is
wasn't funny.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah it was, yeah, no, but honestly, honest to God.
So when I started doing this year was really leaning
into one of those basic bitch trobes of making a
vision board. And I have made a vision board right before,
like the week before the New Year's and I have

(07:08):
like the mud run that I'm doing in June. I
have doing some more stand up. I want to learn
how to play chess. I want to paint rocks.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
I love chess. I used to play chess. I was
like in chess club in middle school. Yeah, I never
won a game. I lost every single game.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
But you can teach it. So then you could teach
me that I could beat you, and then I could
win because I'm a narcissistic be compeditor.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
I have a really cool, nice Simpson chess board with
all the Simpsons characters.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
I just I've always helped held people that learn that
know how to play chess onto like a pedestal. And
then another thing on my vision board, and maybe we
could post this for for the listeners. See my vision
board was play the keyboard, but I think I'm switching
that out for the harmonica because I've been listening to
a lot of blues travelers. Traveler because I listened to

(07:59):
I only listen when I'm working out to musicians that
used to be fat but that got scared.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Oh sure.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Is one of them, Jimmy Papa what's his name? He
liked they redid the Roseanne song back in the later seasons,
like what dozen kilos a mega A strong?

Speaker 1 (08:20):
I do know what harmonica that each harmonica you need
multiple harmonicas, so I didn't know that until I was
an adult. But like one harmonica isn't going to work
for every song. And I also know that if you
blow out and blow in at the same place or
two different notes. Oh yeah, so like that.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I just I just like the sound of it. I
heard that it's easy to learn the basics, but if
you're wanting to play like more like rhythm and blues,
that could be a little bit more tricky. But anyways,
So I put on my vision board a picture of Divine.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
I just I just thought about this. So you're working
out musicians fell off a lot of weight. That's actually
really clever because you're like, if they can do, I
can do. And then you're just thinking about that as
you're working out. Funny thought of that, and then yeah,
that's a good idea.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
That's what I'm very literal with like my I'm very
intentional with my with my meat, with my ways. So yeah,
I only listen to people that used to be fat
now they're skinny while I'm working out.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
That's the that's the vibe, and then when you eat,
it's only the opposite. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, So so on my vision board I put also,
I put Divine, who was the drag queen actress from
all of the John Waters movies like Pink Flemeno, and
she's in Hairspray and Female Troubles and stuff like that.
And she played the role of Edna turnblad On in

(09:43):
Hairspray the original movie, not the musical, and I put
picture of her on my vision board. I did not
put her as Edna on my on my vision board,
thinking that's what that's going on, and maybe there's something
else there because I'm all also thinking about doing stand
up but as a as a character has.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Some good idea, yeah, because then like then you have
something to stand behind too, so it's less scary.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah. So anyways, so vision board action and then yeah,
so so we're let's talk about a little bit, Like
here's some are of our audio recordings from.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Our prep work before the audition. Yeah, so we thought
it'd be kind of fun. Jeff and I are both
trying out for two separate plays, so we thought it'd
be kind of fun to have a special episode with
some of our practicing. And what we're gonna do is
random two person script that we found online with just

(10:43):
cold reading. We found a bunch of different emotions and
we're going to rollo dice to pick those emotions and
just go from there.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Perfect and and we're listening to this in the future
after we recorded it, so well obviously, Okay, so so
we're on just for two plays. I'm auditioning for Hairspray
the musical, and you're auditioning.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
For a play called Black Comedy. Nice, And it's a
really cool premise. So with black comedy, at the very beginning,
the first like minute or two of the comedy, all
the lights on stage are off, and then after a
little bit then the lights turn on. But when the
lights actually turn on, all the actors play like it's
pitch black. And that's why it's called black comedy, because

(11:25):
they're walking around the stage like they can't see what
they're doing, and so the whole play takes place in
a blackout. And so it's pretty cool premise. Yeah, And
so yeah, I'm going for that one because it's a
comedy thing and I think it'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's awesome. So yeah, but then this one releases, we
should probably know if we got it.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
So if we didn't get it, you know, I think
it's gonna be a great experience to try out. And
I definitely am gonna support both and go see them. Yeah,
I think that's great if we did get it.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
If we did get it, I wrote us a song
that we're gonna sing right when we leave, and I'll
just do a quick right here for fun. I did
a Broadway song that I wrote goes. We both got
the part in a play. We both got a part
in a play. It doesn't matter what anyone will say,
because we both got a part in a play. Growing up,
it was my dream to be center stage. Then one

(12:18):
day I decided, no more, I'm no longer afraid. I
talked to my buddy. He said, let's do it. If
I try out, if you try out, then all go
through it and maybe, just maybe, just maybe, one day
we'll both get apart in a play.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Nice in a play.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
And that's some dancing and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yeah, I wrote that, damn andy.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
If anything, I'll be the next Lynn Manuel Moris.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Can you try out for both?

Speaker 3 (12:45):
No?

Speaker 1 (12:45):
I can't sing, but I.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Can't how like I would be so like like I
want to get the role for sure, but like if
I didn't get the role, how fabulous would it be
to have you play at a uh uh thorn blad
whatever regular? Yeah, I don't know, but uh turn bland

(13:08):
there we are. That would be so fun? Would you
do it? Like if you could sing?

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yeah? I would you would? You'd be okay?

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Wearing a dress, o'kay?

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I think it'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Fuck. Yeah, dresses are like mumos, so that's cool. Jerby
wears momos. Now, yeah, wh he does. He wears nightgowns.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
That's what. Yeah, I was actually I just done a
picture of my daughters about those old timey nightgowns where
they have like a ship ton of buttons up the
front for some reason, when you don't need all those buttons,
just have like anyways, and then those old school nightcaps.
I think you could have one of those.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
No, I don't want to have those all those buttons
to try to keep like by the time you're done
with it, you've realized like, no, I want to go
to have ben at old sex.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
So yeah, So who am I.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
I'll be grace, you' be tests And I'm just gonna roll.
So there's twenty and I'm just gonna roll a dice,
and this how I'm going to start it. So seventeen
twenty nineteen, So this is dizzy.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
So this is what they do.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
I don't know. They just said they're gonna have you
read with another person and it's gonna be a cold read,
so we don't know what we're gonna get. And then
it says we're just gonna have you do it different ways.
And so I'm assuming they're gonna be like, well, do
it sad? Now? Do it funny? I guess I don't
know though.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
And then when you were standing up there, like really
tried to like, don't like, don't do any kind of swinging.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Oh yeah, because I do with my feet a bunch.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah. So even if because I do that.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
I sway back and forth and I tap my feet
a bunch.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah, so really like and have good posture and like
if it if the emotion requires that.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Okay, so the first one is dizzy. Yeah, so I'm
just gonna start it like.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Dizzy.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Are you sure this is a safe place to be? No?
What are you? Wait? What? Then?

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Then?

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Why are we here? What did you say?

Speaker 2 (14:59):
I I never said it was the safest, Yes you did.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
I don't know how to play dizzy. I feel like
they're not going to say dizzy. I feel like you're
going to do emotion.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Where did you come up with these?

Speaker 1 (15:09):
I just looked up random emotion? Yeah, dizzy in my
thirteen Okay deflated, Okay, yes you did. There was no
way I would have come here in here if it
wasn't for you. The only reason I rushed out of
the bathroom in here, damn it. I'm just so tired. Okay,

(15:30):
when I get really tired, in my eyes get.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Like all right, so maybe lean into that because it
deflated it sounds like tired.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yes you did. There was no way I would have
come in here if it wasn't for you. The only
reason I reached rushed out of the bathroom and in
here is because everyone is yelling. I hate closets, I
hate small spaces and whatever you call phobic.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
You need to be quiet. You're making it unsafe.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
I'd rather be floating on a tiny raft in the
middle of an ocean than stuck in a tiny closet.
You said, let's get in here quick, like you knew
this was the safest place to be. So I listened
to you. Why I should have run in the opposite direction, And.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
I think Jeremy always tells me to like go slow,
like go cause you're gonna think you're going slow and
talking slow, but you're really not, so like take your
take your time. I don't. I'm not acting no great, No,
this is yeah, just wonderful. Oh you know what, this
would be the safest place if you weren't in it.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
Then maybe I should go. You want me to go
I'll go.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Stop, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (16:43):
Clueless? Clueless?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Okay, stop all right, don't be stupid, you're staying Just
shut up. I should be doing too. Uh, just shut
up for like two seconds.

Speaker 1 (16:56):
Have you ever been in a lockdown before?

Speaker 2 (16:59):
No, but my dad's a cop and he's shown me
a bunch of videos.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh my gosh, what did I just touch?

Speaker 2 (17:09):
I don't know what did you touch?

Speaker 1 (17:11):
I don't know, but it was it was wet. I
think we're just doing the movie. Yeah, so we got three,
which is bored. Okay, disgusting, this is this is something
disgusting and wet in here. Maybe it was a dog,

(17:31):
like a wet lost dog that doesn't bark, but it
wasn't moving, so why would it be a dog.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
It's not a dog.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, thanks, I know, but it's just.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh sorry, it's probably a mop or something. We're in
a closet.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah, like a janitor's closet.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah. You do a good job of nunciating words.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
I'm really trying to focus on that because I know why.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I like.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Sad. Why are they all aflate? That's sad? Clueless? Okay,
here we go. We'll do a sad one. Uh, like
a like a janitor's closet.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Did you hear anything? Oh?

Speaker 2 (18:25):
All I hear is you talk?

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Can?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (18:28):
I'm just why are you so angry?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
I'm not You're like always.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Angry at me, especially it seems is it something I did?
Because I've been thinking, even before you trapped me in
this wet death cage, that you have like an attitude
with me and maybe with something I did. But I
don't think so, because I mean, I barely even interact
with you except when I have two in class or something,

(18:55):
and even then it's not like we're friendly. I mean,
I try to be friendly to you, but you always
seem so angry. So the only thing I can think
of is that it could possibly be is that I
got the part of Claire and you didn't. I don't know.
Maybe it's not anger but jealousy. I mean, I'm sorry

(19:17):
if you feel the way. If you feel that way,
but I didn't cast the play. So maybe it's something
you should talk to him as me about, if you're
like harboring all these feelings or whatever.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
I like, how uh natural it sounds. One, I'm not angry. Two,
I don't even know what that part want to want
that part. Oh they were Three. You realize if you
keep monologuing like this that you're gonna possibly get killed.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
I just this is a play about that. They're very
for school lockdown.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Oh shit, dark, I would not be talking again. Oh
is there a school shooter?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
They don't know, they're just in their lockdown.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Oh, I wouldn't be talking this much. Oh, but that's
the whole point. Okay, Grace is nervous.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
One. If you're not angry, then why do you always
look angry? I got angry. I got anger. One what
am I lost? Okay? One? If you're not angry, then
why do you always look angry? Two? Of course you
wanted that part. Everyone did. Claire is the lead. Three
do you really think we might die?

Speaker 2 (20:42):
One? This is not just my face? Two Did you
ever think that not everyone wants to play the lead.
Maybe some people are better in smaller roles?

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Three?

Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yes I do?

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Oh really?

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Oh my god, Oh my god. I'm gonna die in
this janitor's closet.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
Why do you keep moving around like that? Just relax,
you know, I'm sure everything's gonna be just flying.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
I should have stayed in the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
No, you shouldn't have. That's a real all of these
places to hide.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
Wow, I definitely should have stayed in the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
We stopped jumping around. You're gonna knock something over.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
This is depressing. One is happy.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh see, yeah, oh yeah, we needed this.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Oh I have to do something. Just breathe.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
I told you. Everything's good to know.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Really I have to pee, like I really really have to.
I was in the stall when the announcement went off,
and I just stopped and ran out, thinking I don't know.
I was afraid. And now that the adrenaline is wearing off,
my bladder is waking up, like, hey, remember me, Grace,
we have unfinished business. Maybe I'll try and make it back.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
No, you can't leave?

Speaker 1 (22:05):
Then what should I do?

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Hold it?

Speaker 1 (22:08):
I can't. I'm telling you I can't.

Speaker 5 (22:11):
Okay, just uh just go then, silly, just go?

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, just go? Then?

Speaker 2 (22:24):
What go?

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Where?

Speaker 2 (22:27):
Here? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:28):
Just go?

Speaker 2 (22:32):
You gotta go, You gotta go, just go here? Why not?
Nature calls? This is the emergency situation. We can't leave,
Just go on the bucket or something.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Wait are you crying?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
This is so embarrassing. I'm gonna die in the janitor's
closet and a puddle of my own pet?

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Did we switch rolls?

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
So why not that your calls? Okay? Are you right?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
No? Oh?

Speaker 1 (23:05):
You do that again?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Are youry?

Speaker 1 (23:11):
This is so embarrassing. I'm gonna die in a Janner's
closet in a puddle of my own p It's okay.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
We're not gonna die. Oh you don't think so, No,
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Busy again.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'm so glad you're recording that we could use this later.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Disappointed? Oh, I just go you go pee with me
then in the closet.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
No, I will not. Okay you can though, I just did. No,
so you did feel better?

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Hats wait yeah, oh no, I say that again.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Okay, it's just weird that. Okay, pause, they listen. Hey, Tess, Yeah,
I know you don't want to play the lead, and
I understand that not every that's not everyone's type of
style or whatever. But you would have been a You
would have been a great player and you could have
been the lead if you wanted any day.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Okay, thanks? Maybe next year, yeah, next year, definitely, curious. Yeah,
hand me the mop.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I wonder how this play ends, Like, I wonder if.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
They get out of the Yeah, this is that was
really good?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
That was actually pretty fun. Do you want to do
your song now?

Speaker 2 (24:41):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Because what I can do is I can connect.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
I'm so nervous. I shouldn't be nervous. You killed it,
by the way, that was really fun.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
I think we both killed it. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
I think a future project of ours should be writing
a play. Oh yes, maybe we could do like pretty
much what you just did and do a play and
we changed the emotions like fun.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, yeah, that would actually be a lot of fun.
Just a few scenes and then we just randomly yeah
what you just said.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
No, it's okay. So I am using. So I'm auditioning
for the role of Edna and Harry Spray, I'm auditioning
with poor unfortunate souls from Little Mermaid. This is when
I go to karaoke songs. Definitely the best Disney villain
of all time. And sidebar, so, the appearance of Ursula
in the original cartoon movie is based on the drag

(25:37):
queen divine who originated the role of Edna.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Oh wow, I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, so that's kind of that. And then also my
first baby sitter I ever had was an elderly woman
down the road from us named Edna, and she had
one arm. She said it was and I shared this
with you. She said it was because one of those
claw machines, like at the restaurant or whatever she put
her hand in it tried to grab us animal or
a toy or something, and she got her arm stuck
and they had to saw off her arm.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
I get that she's probably tell that to you to
like for a safety reason, But that's really intense. How
old do you think you were.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Oh, I was not even in school yet, like four.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
That's so frightening.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Oh, that wasn't even the reason. The reason was she
came from a really bad family and she hurt her
arm and the parents never took her to the doctor
until it got like really infected and stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
She came from a really bad family and her family
had to sell her arm for food. Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
She you probably do you can. I need a lot
of money selling your arm to like cannibals.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah. Probably. Is it illegal? No, Actually, you can cut
off your own arm. Me and my daughters look this
up like a few weeks ago. You can cut off
your own arm and it's not against the law unless
you force somebody to watch you do it.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
So if I cut off my arm, not in front
of anybody, I'm forcing to and then serve it to
people to eat if they know that it's my arm.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
I don't know about the cannibalism part. I just know
about the cutting off part. But I feel like cannibalism's
against the law.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
But it's not illegal for me to like sell my
toenails if I wanted to do that, just so one
does it become a part of your body because I
could sell my hair. People donate hair to like cancer
people all the time.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah, and I guess if you gave away your hair
and I ate your hair.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Okay, we need to don't. I'm gonna donate to some
cause now for for what I just said, because I
was comparing people with cancer who want a wig so
they feel more normal during that traumatic experience. Are going
through to cannibalism. So okay, Okay, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Christ God, damn, we got off track so fast. I'm
thinking of this song cannibalism.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Oh a babysitter name? Okay, all right, we got I
want to like stand but no, okay, I won't stand,
but maybe I'll try it. Okay, Well, see how it
goes like it's really gonna make a fucking difference, like Jesus. Okay,
so I'm nervous, so we'll see how it goes.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Okay, you want.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
This ladder, sure, but without my voice, how can I You'll.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Have your looks.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
You're pretty faced, and don't underestimate the importance of body language,
the met up that unlacks a lot of. It's too loud.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Sorry, it sounds really good. When I close my eyes. No,
when I close my eyes, I could definitely see you
playing this character. You're doing great. You don't worry about it. Yeah, well,
honestly before you start, because I don't hear you do
drunk karaoke. Before, I was like, I don't know how
this is gonna be. You sound fine, just so don't
be worried. Yeah, that sounds good.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
You're so positive, so we is. Oh so I should
be doing this part?

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh yeah, okay. It would be awkward to be up
there with without this, So it's gonna be. It's only
a minute twenty four.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
On the audition, I asked to keep it under a minute.
Under a minute, yeah, a minute max?

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Oh really? Yeah, I'm not asking much, just a token,
really a trifle. What I want from you is your voice.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
But without my voice, how can I.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
You'll have your looks. You're pretty face and don't underestimate
the importance of body. Oh this is the Oh wait,
this is the wrong one.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Oh, I can do the other one.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Yeah, I was gonna do. Yeah, I think the slower
one would be good. Sorry, I'm so high meat, it's
huh okay, so we have a listener uh a listener comment.
I listened to last week's episode and this week's Nuggy
nice nice back to back yesterday because I didn't get
around to the episode last week. I had such a

(29:55):
huge collection of POGs and slammers, but I never played
the game one laughing emoji. I didn't even know how.
I just loved collecting all of the rat designs you
could get. Also, I noted that Andy said he went
to a Mustachio m Atis concert, and I was super

(30:18):
stoked about that. I also love them. Haven't been to
his show, but he is from Pennsylvania in the Philly Okay,
oh vicinity. I'm not sure why I rambled about that.
I'm on part to fit right in on this pod.
That's from j super fan, j thank you ja.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
Okay, I admit that in the pasta I've been a
nasty They weren't kidding when they called me well a witch,
But you'll find the nowadays I've mended all my ways, repented,
seeing the light and made a switch.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
Truly.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yes, and I fortunately know a little magic. It's a
talent that I always have possessed. And dear lady, please
don't laugh. I use it on behalf of the miserable,
lonely and depressed, pathetic, poor unfortunate souls and pain in need.

(31:24):
This will long as you be thin, and that one
wants to get the girl. And do I help them? Yes? Indeed,
those poor unfortunate souls, so sad, so true, they come
flock into my cold and crane sposo celebrities, and I
help them, Yes I do. Now It's happened once or

(31:45):
twice someone couldn't pay the price, and I'm afraid I
had to kencross the course. Yes, I've had the odd complaint,
but on the whole I've been a saint to those
poor unfortunate.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Dude, that's good, Like, that's just good. Like I like that,
like it sounds really good. Yeah, sick awesome.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Because I'm thinking, like I want to channel I always
miss up his name, but Harvey Feinstein, like I want
to channel like that. I want to do more of
like a comical And I think with this role, like
it could go to somebody who's not like a singer
like Tracey definitely the one who Queen Latifa played like
that probably should be a singer. But like this one
is like I'm a man in a dress, like you know,

(32:32):
like that's what the role is. It's always cast like
a man. So anyways, we'll see any worry about with that.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
I think you're good.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Well, thank you. I wish that I could travel with
auto tune or like have auto tune in my voice.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Yeah, just like some kind of in your neck.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Do you think that I should try talk singing more
and and not sing as much?

Speaker 1 (32:52):
I think, whatever you now. On the second one, I
would try to keep it like that, okay, yep, because
one part where you went a little high at one point,
I really liked it because remember they said, like you
have to like a F three or something, but you
just barely touched you and like and then it brought down,
but at least you hit that note. Even though you
didn't hold it, so it shows the rain. Okay, I
think you should keep it. Yeah, yeah, that's dope. And
what I'll do is i'll edit that out and i'll

(33:12):
send it to you tonight so you can hear yourself.
Oh I'll probably do tomorrow, but you can hear it
with you, you know. So a good job.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
That's great, Okay, thank you. I really appreciate that. I
was nervous that you'd really make me feel comfortable. But
you would tell me if you're like Bra, well, like.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
That the other version you were doing. Yeah, I didn't
love that one.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
The second verse of it.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, I really like that one. I think that's where
that's Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
But you you would tell me like I would not
be heartbroken. They won't have to keep this in part,
but I wouldn't be heartbroken if you were like Bra.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
I would tell you if I thought you were going
to embarrass yourself, and I don't think you are. I
think you sounded good. I think it's a really good
audition piece for you too, because it has like the
fun and every I think it's great. Like, I think
it's really good.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
Yeah, all right, so I won't embarrass myself, but not
good no.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
I think you sound good. Yeah, no, I would just
like if I thought it was bad, I would say, like,
you know, you can you know it's gonna be a
good experience, is what I would say.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
I'm gonna go just have fun, Like I'm excited to
like record this episode and like and just and just
go with it.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah. And I'm gonna do stand up soon for the
first time. I'm just doing things that I'm like, you know,
get older, I've always wanted to be in like a
place I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
So yeah, fuck yeah. You know what if we don't
get it, If you get it and I don't, I'm
gonna be excited for you. If we both don't get it,
I think we need to write our own play and
I will prove all the haters wrong.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Juicy baby.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah all right, we will check in with you guys soon. Awesome.
So that was some of our audition stuff and like
game prep for the audition. Andy, How okay. So we
met up at your home kind of went through our
practice and you know, we did our you know, different

(34:57):
emotions with your script. That was very awesome inappropriate that
you chose.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
So it wasn't like that at all. So when I
read how we were going to audition, I thought it
was similar to that. But essentially what it was is
there was probably i don't know, maybe ten lines of dialogue,
but each line had six or seven words, and so
then it was a partner. It's called open scenes, so
there's no context of the scene. You just have to

(35:24):
create a scene based on what they're saying. And I've
never done that before.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yeah. And so the lady I was with, she was
very sweet. I was like, hey, by the way, this
is my first time ever doing this, so if I
don't do great, sorry, I don't make you look bad
bad and she was like, oh no, you're really sweet
and stuff. So it was fine, but it's kind of
hard to come up on the spot, and you had
about two or three minutes to create a scene and
then you know, you could look at the lines at least.
But what we did was like a driving thing and
we hit somebody by accident and then we had to

(35:50):
move them and it was okay. But my thing though,
she goes, uh, she goes, hey, you did great. You
bade me laugh, And believe me, if you bade me laugh,
then you're doing something right, which very nice, and she's
being very supportive, but like, who the fuck are you? Yeah,
like what if like her favorite comedian is Jeff Dunham
and then I'd be like, oh, and then I'd be
and then she'd be like, that guy is just as

(36:11):
funny as Jeff Douneham, and then I would fucking kill myself.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
The one with the puppets, Oh, he's fucking funny every
time I see him. It's a lot for a comedian
to make me laugh. And when I see those puppets
when they're like so fucking inappropriate, I love it so much.
So you're a partner with this broad And then.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
We ended up doing that with like three or four
different people but different scenes, so they go, okay, take
this one and then another one. So every time it
was something slightly different, just to kind of see how
you vibed with everybody. And overall, if I had to
rate myself, i'd probably give myself six out of seven,
Like you know, I was in there and I always
think or six to seven out of ten. Sorry.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
With all of the pairings, was it opposite gender.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Sometimes sometimes sometimes it wasn't. Then they had some open
scenes where it's like three people things like that. But
my whole like all the research I've done, the biggest
thing I see is just be present. And then like
what I read Patrick Stewart's book, and he's one of
the best actors of all time. You know, he would
into the Shakespeare ship and so he goes the thing.

(37:19):
He there's a few questions he asks himself about his character,
what do other people think about me? My character? What
do I think about my character? And stay present? And
why am I doing this? A few other things. But then,
like before we did everything, I'm like, okay, So when
it like that first one when I was driving, I'm like, okay,
So I'm in my head. She's my wife, so she
probably thinks I'm cool or you're not cool. Whatever. She

(37:41):
probably loves me. So that's how I'm gonna play it.
And so that's that's how I did it. I was
and I was present the entire time, So you know,
I think I did pretty good. I could instantly tell
the level of talent above me. These people have been
doing it a long time, So I'm not saying like
poor me or anything. I'm just like, I could instantly
tell these are very talented people.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Gotcha, how many total people. Do you think approximately were
auditioning for your play?

Speaker 1 (38:09):
There were nine dudes there because there's four male roles.
So I was like, well, I guess technically I have
about a fifty to fifty, you know, and then there's
probably about twelve females there, maybe ten something like that
right around there.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Okay, okay, and then did you meet the director? And
then and the director was the female? Yes, super nice,
like yeah, very sweet.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
She emailed me before I started because I was like, hey,
I've never done this before, so I might have some
silly questions and she answered them all. I do kind
of feel like she didn't answer one enough because this
whole play, they all it's like in England, all right,
so they all have accents. All of them talk about
their accents, except for the character I was going for.

(38:53):
So then I was like, just out of curiosity though,
I was like, what if I was going for like
the German character, what I have to do an accent?
She goes, no, just auditioned normally, we're gonna have a
dialect coach to help you out during the play. I
was like cool. So I didn't know though, that every
character fucking had an accent, because if I would have
known that. I probably wouldn't have done it just because
I know I cannot do accents. But no, she's very

(39:16):
sweet though, like I don't have an issue with it.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
I just you know, yeah, And also not to be
like completely on your side and be biased. I strongly
doubt that any that most people that are trying out
for community theater in Salem, Oregon for a play that
requires an accent are gonna be that believable.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
You would think, were they good? Okay? So then they
had the dialect coach come downstairs, right and he brought
these pieces of papers that just to see how you
could do because she in the email, she goes, well,
we're gonna have a dialect coach there, and he's great,
he can teach you how to do that stuff. So
essentially he was just there to see if people had
they could actually even do a little a bit of it.

(40:00):
So like one of the lines was like the big
black bug bit, the Big Black Bear, but doing like
an English accent. So I never I was like, all right,
here we go, and I was like the big block
bug bit, the big block Bath, and I say I
can't do it though. But the hardest part was so

(40:22):
he had every and there's like twenty different lines you
could choose on this piece of paper. Some of them
were like, my daha went to the party or whatever,
you know, my daha went to the part anyways, And
so people were just going down the line. And I
didn't do this because I was scared and I didn't
want to go. I liked to go first on things
when I'm scared, because I like to get out of
the way. Yeah, just the way it happened, I was
the last one. But I was like, oh, well, at

(40:44):
least I know that I'm not going to be the
only one that can't do English accent. And there's about
twenty people there, every single person fucking knocked out of
the park, every single person. Then it gets to me
and I'm like, but I did three lines. I said,
I'm just gonna commit even though I know I can't
do this, And I committed. That's so awesome, and I
you know, I don't Yeah, I don't feel bad. I

(41:06):
just probably would have done it because I can't do accents.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
I'm trying the Big Black Bear, the Big Black bug
bit the Big Black Bear is the lion is one
of them. I want to try it the Big Black
the big Black bug Bit, the big Black player.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, and there's like the tea pot is ready, like
the tea pot is ready or whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I wish I would have known this that it was
going to be dialect like fully, because honestly, the way
to do a British dialect is to go in acting
like you're talking like you're death.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
I'm not going to try it, Okay, Okay, Well, I
don't know how ifensive that is the big Bit, the big.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Kill it.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
You sounds just like the guy for Oasis do.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
How do def people that are from Britain have British sents?

Speaker 1 (42:02):
I don't know, right, huh.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Okay. So so after you did, I think that's really
cool that they did kind of like it's like a
workshop and it wasn't like a one and done kind
of thing. So if you were like super nervous the
first time, you got time to like like kind of
try again, try again.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
And some of those open scenes you could tell they
were a little more comical, some are a little more serious,
so you kind of had a range of it. But
then after we did those open scenes, then we got
actual scenes from the play, and so then I didn't
just get parts of that. I was going out where
I got different parts from everybody or from every other character,
and that went on, like I felt like way too long,

(42:45):
like we did a lot of them, but it was fun.
I like doing the shit like that. But overall it
was pretty good. But all the names of the characters
were called like Slically again and stuff, and I'm like,
I don't fucking know. And so they go, okay, and
you're Sliceally again or whatever, and then you're gonna be
Ahmet or whatever. I don't know. They're just saying all
these weird fucking names. And I never.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
Read the play before, yeah, because.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
I didn't know that you could go rent that from them,
so before that addition, you can go and rent like
I didn't know that. So everybody else probably just like
they all knew like their characters and everything. And this
one character I was playing, he was like the Janitor,
but nobody knows he's the janitor. They think he's a millionaire.
But so it's my first time reading it, and I

(43:26):
didn't know I was a janitor either. So I'm playing
it all like posh and I was playing with my
hands and I was like, oh, I love that painting.
But I was supposed to like play it like a
janitor that didn't have any money, but I didn't fucking know,
you know, but it was fun. Like overall, it was
a very fun experience and I'm glad I did it,
like even though I didn't get the role.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
But do you think that you would want to go
see the play?

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Yeah? I do want to see the play because some
of those people were so talented and the writing is
really funny, Like it's just gonna be worth it, you know,
anyways to see. But actually I got a call, oh
that I'll play, So yeah, I didn't get it, and
they gave me a call and I didn't answer because
I didn't I was I don't know why didn't answer,
but I didn't answer. But they're very sweet and here's
the call.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
Good morning, Andrew. This is Robin from Black Comedy. I
wanted to first of all, thank you for coming out yesterday.
You did a great job. Unfortunately, when looking at the
foecast and possibilities, it was decided that that we weren't
going to call you back for Monday. But thank you

(44:33):
again for coming out, and do come out again. You
know there might be a roll down down the road.
That's just perfect for you. So if you could text
me to let me know that you got this message,
I'd appreciate it. This is myself, so if five o three,
if you have any questions or comments, feel free to call. Okay,

(44:57):
thanks for getting Andrew and happy to think.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah, no, very sweet. Everybody is really nice and like.
And then right when I saw the very like, right
when I got there and did those open themes with people,
I'm like, holy shit, these people are super talented. But
when we started doing the actual scenes and then these
people were just and they go, could you do more
of like a like a rich type of English accent?
They go, oh like this, and they would just fucking

(45:22):
pop it out, and I'm like, god, damn, Like they
are so good.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
No, yeah, I think I think both of us need
when when we get cast it into a place we
will if we continue auditioning, we need to be very
like it's just us, Like it's just.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Like they go, hey, we have a role form like
a really relaxed Indian that smokes spot well, I can
think I could do that.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Oh my god. If you did not get cast in, I.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
See more of like a German janitor for you.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Or they cast us and like there's like a play
that's very similarly based on our friendship, and they cast
you as like you can see you being Andy being
the gay self tanner one Jeff.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
When I saw you, I just instantly thought of like
eagle feather right, Well, that's super sweet.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
That she called and she sounds so endearing and I
love that, Like, like, yeah, definitely, I think keep auditioning
because if you get that is the hardest thing that
you're ever gonna have to do in that in that
creative genre of auditioning with all of this talent, and
you have talent, Andy, I know that you do, but

(46:35):
like that is like next level like nerd ship that
they were pulling out.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Well then too, Now, I'm like it would have been
really weird if like they're all from England there's just
some brown guy. Hey, yeah, I want to really fit either,
but whatever, you know, but let's hear. So, so you
get there, So we walk up yeah, and then I
go downstairs. You go upstairs, and that one lady goes, oh,
I'm so sorry. Yes I remember she was like, oh yes,
count conditioned together something. It's generally sad that we couldn't

(47:02):
but then we gave a great high five. It was great, Sad.
I don't know if you thought it, but I was
down stations like, man, that's a really good I gave.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
I made sure I gave you a rock.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
Yes, And I before I did the accent thing, I
was rubbing the rock.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Because Andy is a listener. He's a fidgetter, and so
I gave him this little rock to rub and like
fidget with, to like help with that. And it was
really And I talk about this either before or later,
about driving up and seeing because a lot of the
people that auditioned for the play I did were younger,
like high schoolers. So it was just really cool to

(47:35):
see younger generations, yeah, following their creative goals. I guess,
especially with.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
Live theater, because I feel like live theater unfortunately is
kind of fading away because of like you know, cell
phones and everything. So it's cool to see that there's
still a big group of younger people that are really
still interested in this.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
So yeah, yeah, we uh So we go up and
we Andy and I become prepared, so we already had
our audition paperwork filled out.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
I'm I'm not sure if yeah, you were.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Ready and then they they took a picture.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Of you, right, No, they take a picture of anybody though.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Okay, they took a picture of everybody who auditioned for
my play, like if he was shot. And I did
try to I try to be like sexy and I
like smiled my eyes kind of thing, and and they put.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Us in there.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
I was like, oh, I have nervous platter. So then
I went down to where Andy's was auditioning, and I
created had this like non verbal relationship with one of
the people working on Andy's auditions, because I probably went
down there to pee like four or five times, and
every time I would go down there, I'd like point
at him and be like yeah. And so I go
in there. The I was scoping out the audience and

(48:42):
or the people that were auditioning. It was the auditorum
was full of people, and I was I was looking
for like chubby gay guys, and I saw what. I
was like, oh him, he's chubbying gay and I was like, okay,
he's auditioning for Edna. And then there was other chubby guy.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
He actually had his friend he did yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
And then there was other chubby guy and he was
I was like, oh, who are you anteritioning for And
he was like, oh, Edna and Wilbur And I was like, okay,
so you know it may be not, you know anyways,
so sit down. It starts getting really full in there,
and I sit down to this beautiful lady. I forget
her name, but she was so beautiful and just perfect.

(49:19):
She like was like a Rachel McAdams type for mean girls.
And she's actually a politician, oh and like local like
state congress and she's gonna be running for Secretary of
state in order. And but she was like the most
salty and I loved it, Like she was beautiful and

(49:41):
just such a diva and I fucking ate it up.
And I'm like, I'm voting for her. I don't care
what what her deal is, so my style. So they
also give us a list of really small monologues, like
really small, just maybe like five sentences long, and they're
not labeled, but you could tell that each monologue goes
to a certain character. So I'm of course going to
choose when it goes.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
To you like a list.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
Okay, yeah, you could choose anyone you want, but most
people chose the one that is a signed with their
character that they're aditioning for. Instead of me like reading
it over and stuff. I was talking to the people
around me because they were like really cool people around me.
There was like this like I was in a room
full because Tracy is a curvy, young, sassy woman. I

(50:27):
was in a room full of voluptuous, over the top
whimsical women. Of course, like the video was stitting next
to on the other side, had like a neon green
huge purse. I was like, of course, I'm going to
talk to you anyway.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
So I should just start going auditions.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
And so I was just chatting with everybody, and there
was a couple of uh what the role of Penny,
who was played by Amanda Baynes from all that in
the movie. So there's a lot of really kind of
like conservative girls and like more modest girls. I was
chatting with that to like not make them so nervous.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Oh sure.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
And so anyway, so what we're going to be doing
is they were you sing about a minute of a
song that's for a musical, and then you do your monologue.
So I was number fifteen out of like I don't know,
one hundred people or something. So I went I was
waiting in my you know, I wasn't super nervous or anything.

(51:24):
But the guy who was one of there was three
people the auditioned for my role. Three, So the guy
who went before me was this fucking duche So he
had a what's it called, like a photo of yourself,
like a head shot. Yeah, he brought a headshot. It's
fucking Salem Oregon, calm down.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Was the hit shot like relatable to the play? Or
it was a.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Headshot of him? Yeah, it was a headshot of him. Anyways,
he performed, he could clearly sing, and but he was
just so fucking tool and a thing that made me
the most tool because if you want to be narcissist,
like sometimes I'm like a what's it called? My coworker
told me this that I have an unearned sense of entitlement,

(52:08):
that's fine, but if you're going to be mean to
other people, that's where I cross the line. So there,
one guy was auditioning another and he had his monologue
in his hand. When he was going to sing, he
was about the music was starting everything, he was about
to start singing. This little douchebag that's auditioning for the
same role as me is like, oh, you really shouldn't

(52:28):
have that in your hand when you're singing the guy
with the headshot, Yeah, I was like, you're throwing him.
Do not do that.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
In football, they have a thing too, when someone's about
to do a game winning field goal, the other coach
will call time out right before they kick it. It's
called freezing him because it makes them overthink shit, that's
and that's what that motherfucker did.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
Yeah, that's what happened. And to me, I was like,
I was. I felt so uncomfortable as not for the
kid that was auditioning, because like I was cheering him on,
and but I was so uncomfortable for this douchebag that
was doing that to him. And and anyways, so the
douchebag goes up and performs, does a fine job, but
no energy, like nothing like he has talent, but no

(53:07):
energy and no connecting with the audience or anything. And
then right after him is me. So there's three people
auditioning for this role. It's side by side with me
and him. So I go up there and I'm like,
what's up? And do my thing. And there are selected
characters that were already pre pre cast, like a lot
of the black actors and actresses were already pre cast,

(53:29):
and as soon as my music started, the girls that
were already pre cast started like finger snapping, and I was.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Like, yeah, I bet for sure. They were like, God,
I hope he gets it because they knew, they knew
it would be so much more fun if you were
in there than that other fuckers.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
And I could tell. And my whole goal was listen
to because I'm not a huge music person, was to
listen to the music and I and I remembered the music,
like the cues and everything, and also to be present
was my goal.

Speaker 1 (53:54):
Yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
Yeah, And I feel like I did that because I
focus on maybe five or six specific people, like just
kind of ran at random, and I I feel like
I killed it, like like for as good as Jeff
could do. I don't have any regrets for it, but
I'm definitely not like the best singer in the world.
And then we went right back into the monologue, and
I feel like I definitely killed the monologue because I

(54:17):
know I know the movie and I know the play
like back in Front, I'm good and I know the
character back in Front, So I feel like I killed
it on that. So but I think that this guy
had he ended up getting cast, had more experience than
me and also has more talent, like that textbook talent.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
Sure, it could be the talent thing too. You know.
I didn't see him, but I wonder because there was
a lot of people there, and it seems like it's
a really big production. So I wonder if maybe the
director and stuff they too, they also look into it's
where it's like, well, let's try to get experienced people
because it's gonna be easier for us to like wrangle
everybody in. So I mean, you never know, that could
be a huge aspect of.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
It under and like I'm not being better or any
I just I would have preferred. And then the other
gentleman who auditioned for the same role, he fucking killed it.
And I remember talking. I think I talked to you
about it and also my best friend killing and I
was like, if he gets it, I'm gonna be so
fucking happy because he was so nice. He was supportive

(55:17):
because also the director said, you know, feel free, like
I definitely recommend you staying after you've auditioned so you
can support everybody and also see why you maybe didn't
get cast. Oh sure, and tool guy left immediately after
his audition, he was number five, like fourteen. Me and

(55:38):
the other guy stayed almost the entire time and supported
the people, especially supported the people that were struggling. Yeah,
and there were a couple that really struggled that like
were really nervous. One guy got up there and he
was like, I don't want an audition, and he's saying
happy birthday.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Why was he there?

Speaker 2 (55:56):
I have no idea, but he just like maybe I thought,
like that's something like I would do, Like yeah, I'm here.
But I had a fabulous time in there. It was
very supportive, except for this asshole that like god that
auditioned and ended up getting the role. He was such
a negative on everybody. And you could tell that another

(56:18):
thing too. You could tell that when he was when
people were performing, he was immediately kind of casting them,
like would I cast them? Would I not? With his
body language and he's a huge Like when you're a
bigger human, you need to watch your body language a
little bit because people you take up a lot of space.
I don't know, I just felt so much negativity with
this gentleman. So he might be the greatest person alive.

(56:39):
I don't know. I'm not bitter about it because it
is what it is. But I don't wish him well.
I don't wish him good.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Uh do you wish him harm?

Speaker 2 (56:50):
No? Like, uh, you could drown in a tea cup
of water, Like that's how much I care. I'll give
him a tea cup water to drown in. Anyway, I don't, No,
it feels like a same I guess.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
I don't even really understand. So wouldn't just his nose
fit in it?

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I think that I don't care about him, so I'm
only gonna give him this much water.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Oh like, if you really wanted to die, you'd give
him like a pool.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
Yeah, So I don't know if it's the same, but.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Hey, shes is some excited pool in your backyard.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Yeah. But anyways, but the people that I met that
day were super fucking fabulous. Killeen, my best friend, her
cousin Audian. He didn't get it, but it was great
to have him there as extra, like somebody I knew,
and everyone was just super supportive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
This older dude that was there, I think he just
lost his wife or something. I don't know, because right
when he walked in, Remember that girl that you were
you were talking to me about before it started, and
you go, I just saw on her play and she
did really good. Oh yeah, well she's right. When that
guy walked in, she saw him and she just stood
up and just gave him a hug and she's like,
I'm so sorry, and then like she held him for
a little bit. But anyways, he was really cool older dude.

(58:00):
He looked cool ship too, like like a catboy hat on. Anyways,
when I was leaving, though, he goes, hey, Andy, he
did really good, man, and I was like, hey, thanks,
my first time doing this. He goes, I'll keep it up,
you know, but he's like coolest shit. I was like,
I gots dope. But everybody is very supportive.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Every most like besides this guy, everybody else was super
one hundred percent supportive. The only thing I kind of
fucked up on was so as listener, like you've already
listened to this or not. But when I'm singing Ursula
for Unfortunate Souls, this one longed to be thin, and
that one wants to get the girl, And do I
help that? Yes, Indeed, I one hundred percent pointed like

(58:37):
like gesture to somebody when I said this one longing
to be thin. Sure, and that was kind of dick
of me. That wasn't my intent.

Speaker 1 (58:45):
Yeah, they probably didn't think.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Yeah, like I didn't like shove like a pointer like
this motherfucker right. Yeah, but I get like, honest, honest
to God, not no joke. Being able to because I've
gone to Pinnacle theaters so many times in my life
and being able to like perform on the Pinnacle Theater
stage was an amazing experience.

Speaker 6 (59:08):
Especially it felt like a full house too. Oh sure,
So it was so cool and I was not nervous.
The only time I got nervous is when I knew
I had to do the English accent.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
That would mean that yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Yeah. Other than that, I was like, I could you know,
I don't. I kind of like being the center of
attention sometimes too, So I was like, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
Me, you killed. Like we go out to bar and
we do like skits, yeah, and people love us. Yeah,
people love us or we like trap them into doing
our skits with us. But no, it was a fabulous experience.
Like I didn't get a voicemail from my director. We
got an email. It was definitely a mass email. I
did right back to him and did like the complimentary

(59:51):
you know thing like great supporting, blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
Yeah. I text him back. I was like, thank you
so much for letting me audition. I had a blast,
you know, good luck with to play. I can't wait
to see it. Yeah, I know whoever picked everybody, they
were super talented, so it's gonna be awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Yeah. I didn't say that part because the person he.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Should everybody there was really cool except for I'm not
gonna name it, but I think you know what I'm
talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
The guy you do like a whole long email back
and honestly, like, I don't want to be like everyone's
like like when I watch interviews and there's sometimes actresses
and actors whore asked the question like what's a role
that you didn't get that you wish you would have got?
Like maybe Kate Winsle would be like, oh, this role
I would have I got offered by I turned it down,
and but no, Emma Thompson did great or whoever. Yeah, no,

(01:00:37):
I one hundred percent agree that I think I would
do better than that motherfucker who got it, and the
other guy who auditioned would have done better than me. Sure,
that's what I think because the singing name. Nah, But
the character of Edna is somebody who's dealing with agoraphobia,
which is the fear of leaving outside of your home,
and very insecure love wanting to break free and like

(01:01:04):
express themselves and like be flat fabulous. I would have
killed that this narcissistic piece of ship that has just
had a nurturing bone in his body. Got it, He's
gonna be bullshit. He might hit the tune, hit the
tone or the notes right, but he's gonna be a
toxic part of this play. And I can't wait to
go and see it and watch him fail.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Yeah, I'm down to get drunk and boom. Yeah, but
I was gonna say, I if we need an audition again.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
There I don't want to do like the other actor
and maybe maybe specifically for this guy Boom. I maybe
he's a great person. I'm sure I've done really horrible
things in my past and I don't want to be
like so the worst thing he did was like had
bad etiquette. Maybe I should wish him to drown.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Yeah, but the thing is he only said you're gonna
give a cup of tea.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
So if you can't get out of that cup of
tea or that's on you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
But if he's done this prior, it's weird to me
that he wouldn't know the correct etiquette, So that that
just makes just feel like he's a fucking dick.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
Especially a play that like is kind of complicated, especially
in today's day and age, where it's a little bit
what it's about a lot about civil rights and body image.
But the civil rights one, I'm curious how they're going
to be going to address it because a lot of
it has, like looking back at it has a lot

(01:02:22):
of white savior complex where the white people help the
brown people, and I'm a little bit curious about that.
So somebody who's in that role needs to be very
empathetic and like a team leader, and I hope that
he can rise to that occasion because a lot of
the actors that are in this play are going to
be fourteen fifteen. The youngest one that was pre cast

(01:02:45):
and she was there is probably like eight, oh damnit,
like a little brown girl. She's like eight years old.
Like this person's going to be a leader, yeah, because
there's only like maybe four or five adults in this play.
So I wish him the best and I wish to
play the best, and I think I would have been amazing,
But other things are going to come my way, and
I will still have divine as my guide.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Yeah, just like a divine energy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
I like that. Uh well, I thought of a kind
of fun little trivia, Okay. So what I did was
I found some horrible audition stories from the famous people,
and I want to see if you can tell me
who they are, and I'll give you a list of
actors to choose from. So I'm gonna start. So this
person auditioned for King Kong and the director spoke an
Italian and right when she walked in, the director in

(01:03:31):
Italian said why did you bring me this ugly thing?
And the director didn't know that this actress spoke Italian,
so she responded with, I understand what you're saying. Sorry,
I'm not beautiful, beautiful enough for King Kong.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:03:45):
Was that actress Julie andrews Rita Moreno, Jane Fonda or
Meryl Street?

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Who was the first one?

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
Julie andrews Rita Morena?

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Yeah, reading man, do you think that's who it was?

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
It was actually Meryl Street?

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Oh wow?

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
Yeah? Crazy right? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Oh wow, and so this uh, I think the role
went to just the Lange, right.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
And it's from the nineteen Seventyi sies King Kong. I've
never seen him the Lange. I think so too for
some reason because when she said King Kong, and I
was like for the two thousand and three and so
I think I remember seeing that name. So it's the
next story. This comedian was stopped during the audition and
was asked, you know this is a comedy, right, was
that Bill Hayter, Seth Myers, Seth Rogan or David Spade?

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
David Spade?

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Was Bill Hayter?

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
I hate it's Seth Myers in there.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Yeah, I thought you were gonna pick him just because, yeah,
he is not funny.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
But here's the thing about him that I just don't
find him with funny. I don't find him funding me.
But I also don't understand his right. Does he have
writers like I.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Guess he was a really good writer for sn OL.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
He might have been, but it's just not flowing for him.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
I yeah him, I don't know. I don't think he
was great on the news thing in SMO. I don't
like the show.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
He might be cool, he has a lot of friends,
and I think that's what helps him.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Right, So this next one, they were auditioning for Juilliard.
This person forgets the monologue for Henry the Fourth and
just starts improvising. The monologue was Emily Blunt, Jared Leto
Anna Kendrick or Josh Gadd.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Yeah again that was Josh Gadd.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
This is a lot more fun with other people. Now
it's feel bad that you're not getting well.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
Anna Kendrick. I have a complicated relationship with her because
I don't like her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Oh, I think she's super smoking.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
Really really yes? Really? Okay, So here's your scenario. You're
laying in a silk bedroom. It's nice and it's like
the perfect temperature in the bedroom. You are horny as fuck.
Two women, one of each each side of the room,
come in. One of them is Anna Kendrick, wo or

(01:05:59):
the the other one is Catherine Data Jones Circle nineteen
eighty nine.

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
H Since I can't picture Caatharin's Dada Jones, I'll definitely
going to Anna Kendrick. But not only do I find
Anna Kendrick very attractive, but she's one of my favorite
Christmas movies. Noel, have you seen that movie?

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
It's wonderful. I love Anna Kendrick, so I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
I I'm not judging her body, but I've personally never
wanted to like have sex with a bunch of like twigs.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
She likes super skinny.

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
She's super fucking skinny. And I don't know if it's
a health issue or what, but like, and I'm not judging,
I am judging apparently, I just don't find her particularly funny.
I think she's like a wish dot Com version of
Kristen Stewart. And I don't think Christian Stewart is that
great anyways. She looks a lot like which Anna Kendrick.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
It looks just like this guy from Silicon Valley.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
One second, she looks like a guy from Silicon Valley.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Yeah, she looks a lot like Thomas middle Ditch. Oh
it's a wild I didn't realize that's what recently.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
The guys that the guy is that like and no offense.
I don't want to find you where anybody or a listener.
The guys that find Anna Kendrick attractive are the same
ones that were trying to pick up women when Auschwitz
got like three, Like, hey lady, what's your number? Like
that's like she.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Looks like it tell me you don't find her attractive,
like she would.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Be the best one on like a starving beach, I guess,
but like she's not my she's this is the type
that's like, it's my tampon making me look fat.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
Like she's so gross, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
She is, so how is that appealing?

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
That's so weird?

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
Her vagina? Like you want her vagina?

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Well you asked, that's that's yeah, that's what you're saying.
If I had to choose Dada j.

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Speaker 6 (01:07:41):
You said nineteen ninety nine, Yeah, Catherine Zada Jones, we
want mask of zero.

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
Okay, Like, are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
You know, honestly, I'm gonna go Anna Kendrick.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
Listener, I'm showing him pictures of Catherine data Jones.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
She looks she's she looks like a she looks like
a like a queen, like a princess.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Are you nervous about getting that that throat cancer?

Speaker 4 (01:08:07):
For?

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
How I fucking love Michael Douglas. It's a wild that
he did said that he can say that she has
current and still white. Yeah, like if I got throat
cancer I wouldn't be like, oh, yeah, Jeremy has a
butthole like virus, Like what the fuck's Douglas?

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
And he just like doesn't give a fuck to Like,
I guess that's some eight point when you're just a
millionaire for fifty years or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
But she has money though, Yeah, who would you rather,
Catherine data Jones in her heyday or Angela and Jobey
in her heyday?

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Katherine Es Yeah, same, yeah. Okay, So this person auditioned
for a movie and it's when they were starting out,
when she was starting out, and she was told it
was good to wear the same thing for callbacks since
it's a way they can remember you because sometimes have
like hundreds of people. So but this person got called
back for a third time, so they're like, I'm just

(01:09:06):
gonna wear the same thing again, and then a fourth callback,
and then after their fourth callback, and we're in the
same thing every time. Their agent got a call and
the people auditioning said, we really like this person, but
do they have any other clothes? And so this was
either Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Lawrence, or Jennifer Garner.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
Okay, I don't think it's Jennifer Lopez. I don't think
it's Jennifer Hudson. I think Jennifer Hudson came out of
the gate Roland because she got an Oscar for her
first role. Oh, so I don't think it's her, So
I might think. I'm hoping it's Jennifer Lawrence because it
is Jennifer Gardner, like Jennifer Garner, like, don't get me
started on Harder, So I'm gonna go Jennifer Lawrence. I'm

(01:09:51):
hoping it's a Garner.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
Are you serious?

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Oh my god, that's so sad. Yeah, because she can't win. Yeah, right,
they were all Jennifers. They were all Okay, Jennifer Lopez
is fucking hot, Jennifer Lopez, are Answer Kendrick and Kendrick.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
Uh Ana Hendrick just because right now she's younger, okay
for one, probably way funnier and she's probably way nicer.
Jennifer Lopez is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
Like she's a bitch, Okay, Jennifer Lopez, Anda Kendrick the
same age, and like you're just having sex with them,
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
I just feel like, Okay, Anna Kendrick could sing really well,
oh my god, oh my god. I really like redheads.
Redhead is like my cup of tea.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
She's not like a good redhead. Like she's not a
redhead like Julianne Moore is a redhead? Or oh, who's
that Kendrick clothes? She has the big old titties for
mad men. Christina Kendrick kiss, Okay, here we go. Christina

(01:10:56):
Hendricks Okay, I win on this one. Anna Kendrick or
Christina Hendricks.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
They're both uh okay, I'm not just saying this.

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
Oh my god, I'm gonna bow that mine.

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
Her body doesn't look like her body doesn't look real.
Those are real boobies, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
Anna Kendrick, Anna Kendrick, Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Jesus, do you ever beautiful? Nowhere? She's gorgeous. But I'm
just out of those two. I'm going, Kendrick, do you
ever have you ever gotten in trouble?

Speaker 2 (01:11:33):
In like high school? For like like feeling up the
skeleton models and health class. Like I'm not dissing people's bodies,
but Anna Kendrick looks like somebody who gets those bleeds.
And I don't usually say that about women.

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
Watch Noel and look how cute and funny she is.
And I love that movie and I love Chris movies.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
You would do dirty things to Noel?

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Is she Santa bro? Oh? I just ruined the movie
for you. Oh No, I just don't believe that this
person audition for McDonald's commercial.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
I feel like you could actually get Anna can drink
like I feel like this. I don't think you could
ever get with like, Uh, what's Katherine Zaida Jones or
Elizabeth Hurle, you know any of the I don't think
that's really that. You could meet her on a die
if anywhere, at a dive bar, and you could get her.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
She's funny, I'm funny, would be fucking great together. Yeah, Okay.
This person was auditioning for McDonald's commercial. Uh, they didn't
know it was going to be a drive through commercial.

Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
If it's if it's Jennifer Garde, she's so sad.

Speaker 1 (01:12:38):
They didn't know it's gonna be the drive through commercial.
And the camera was really close to their face. So
this person, because they have a scar in their face
during the audition, said I will have a big mac
and my scar will have an orange soda. Was that
Robert de Niro, Tony Hale, Fred Armison or Tina Fay?

(01:13:03):
How sad is that she said that, Yeah, she because
I guess she has a scar interface I never noticed.
But she gave up instantly during the audition because she's like,
but she waited hours, so she's like, well, I just
had to give up on it, you know. Uh. Well,
so she was in Second City and stuff. She did
an improv group, so the way Heerner, they would audition
for commercials to try to get money. So they were

(01:13:24):
there for hours and she's like, well, I'm here, and
then when she sat down, that's when she realized how
close the camera is going to be in her face,
and she just gave up.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
Ye, because I wouldn't want to be like watching a commercials.

Speaker 1 (01:13:34):
He's like some scar freak and be like, scarf, I.

Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
Don't really want some chicken nuggets now?

Speaker 1 (01:13:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:13:40):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:13:41):
Uh So this person the auditioned for Frodo, they didn't
have any line. He's from Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
Oh like I'm prey don't know, okay, no.

Speaker 1 (01:13:53):
Has the hairy feet.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
So he's Elijah Wood.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
He's Elijah Wood.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
Elijah wedding Jennifer Gardner would be a good company.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
So this person when they auditioned for Frodo, they weren't
given any lines, they weren't given any stage direct direction.
What they were told was they were supposed to open
uh treasure trust and find the a treasurer chess and
find a ring. But this person never read the Lord
of the Ring, so they didn't know right. But Peter

(01:14:22):
Jackson said, this is the worst audition and did you
know you needed an accent for this? No, this person responded,
and then Peter Jackson goes, you should probably fire your agents.

Speaker 2 (01:14:33):
So this was this I can answer, this is out.
You give me multiple choice. Was this you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:40):
It was Jessica Lang or I'm just kidding it was
Toby m Or was it Toby maguire, Charlie Hunnen, Ryan
Gosling or Jake Julen Hall.

Speaker 2 (01:14:50):
Okay, I'm gonna say it's between Gosling and McGuire. Okay,
So nosepleads or McGuire I forgot you call them? Yeah,
nosebleeds because everybody knows and everybody agrees with me. There's
a few things. Uh, he looks like he gets nosebleeds.

(01:15:10):
Anne Hathaway and Selena Gomez looked like they were born premature.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
I love Anne Hathaway. I find the Hathaway, so fucking hot.
You look so upset with me. I don't find Selena
Gomez out though, but could because she's so much younger
than me. Oh when she got fat, I just her
head never looked like it's supposed to be on her body.
Her head's always been really she looks.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Like she was born, like maybe at four When when
can the baby live? But like barely like four months?
I don't know, four or five months sounds good. Yeah,
she looks like she was born at five months, Like
if you were like Selena Gomez has a new charity
that helps premature babies because she was one that makes sense. Okay,
I'm gonna guess it was Toby maguire it, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
Yeah, crazy Field and last one for all the marble.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Marble.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
This one's worth a thousand points, so if you get this,
you win. I went So this person was auditioning for
a stripper role and was told they had to towork
in front, and they didn't like it because they had
to talk and sexy dance in front in front of
a bunch of guys she'd ever met? Was it Julia
Fox a real Fox? Shaequille O'Neil or Papa Smurf.

Speaker 2 (01:16:22):
Julia. I don't know. I'm not to google her really quick, okay, Google,
I love having Google. Yeah, Julia Fox, Oh yeah, I
don't like her.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
Well, apparently she doesn't like torking in front of people,
which makes sense, like.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
Oh, she's thirty five and hasn't made it yet, sad Oh,
I am obsessed with a comedian named ze Way. And
she used to write for Stephen Corbert Corbert and she
does these She interviewed that gay congressman who got he's
going to prison for like eight years. She interviewed that

(01:17:04):
socialite con artist. She does all these like interviews with
kind of scandalous people.

Speaker 1 (01:17:11):
You should check her out after before they get found
out after.

Speaker 2 (01:17:15):
And she asked like really probing questions. And then she
has like some of the white white actors she interviewed,
uh Che Hanks. Oh, and she has like some of
these white actor men read lines from like Color Purple
just with them. It's so funny. But what the point
of that was, I don't know. Oh, she interviewed that

(01:17:37):
broad Julianne Fox or whatever her name is, Julia Fox,
and I just I don't care for her. But anyways, okay,
I want to do this really quick. Who is one
of who are one of your babes that you like?
Famous babes, says Anna Kendrick. You all know that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:54):
Carrie Byron from Busters?

Speaker 2 (01:17:56):
I thought of okay her An Kendrick. Okay, there we go,
thank you. I just don't get it. I like, so
if I put a bunch of what's something equivalent to
stick like nails and a pillow case, like, that's going
to do it for you?

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
I mean if if they were funny, for sure?

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
How funny does it have to be to hear?

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
You know what I mean? Anyways, that's misogynistic, but whatever, right,
as a Google review util it's how horrible we are?

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
Then do you watch MythBusters?

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
Oh no, Yeah, she's a a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:18:26):
She's insane and she's super smart and she seems really nice.

Speaker 2 (01:18:28):
All the straight guys there's always a conversations. My goal
in twenty twenty five is to become a bro. That's
my goal. So all these guys are like, oh yeah,
they look at her tits or look at liku, at
her ass. If I was a straight guy, I'd be like, oh,
look that vagina Like that would be Yeah, what I
would be into. I'd be like, hey, look like campbelltoe,
Like that's what I would be into.

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
It's like, oh my god, look at that, because that's
the ultimate goal. Would Yeah, So that's.

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
My bain, like if so, I'm going to try to
connect with bros this this year because I making little
goals for myself. So the month of June coming up
is gonna be to really connect and like go up
to straight guys and be like, hey, vaginas right.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
Even thinking about vaginas lately, all right, brother, I.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
Just think they're disgusting, but whatever, half the world has them.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
So you know, I've always said this would be like
if an alien came down and they had to do
a bunch of research about the world, right, and they
went back up and their alien bosses like, so, you know,
give me some numbers. They would say the average human
has half of a vagina, and it would technically be true.
Is that funny how we're like numbers can be played with.

Speaker 2 (01:19:36):
So here's my issue with vaginas. And this might not
be appropriate, but like I take dumps and toilets, so
it's like a penis dump goes into the vagina, So
like the vagina is like a toilet for your comb.
It's like, that's just gross to me.

Speaker 1 (01:19:54):
Yeah, you said a penis dump.

Speaker 2 (01:19:57):
Yeah, it's like a penis dump. Like oh, like, like
I'm so horny, I want to like peenis dump into
the vagina, that vagina toilet.

Speaker 1 (01:20:05):
I was just I was talking to my friends and
we were talking to like, we were talking about how
gross the act of sex man is. It's a disgusting thing.
It's weird that we're always like.

Speaker 2 (01:20:16):
Let's do it, you know, like, look at Anna Kendrick
just get banged on. Stop. I read that she has
the pain for podcasters that are indigenous.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
That again, if anybody knows Anna Kendrick, she wants to
hang out and make them laughs together.

Speaker 2 (01:20:29):
Let me know, I really think that she's gonna end
up in a dive bar and say, look, I'm not
making a joke.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
The type that would I saw this one thing. Uh,
this interviewer asked her. They go, hey, this person is
threatening to release naked pictures of you if you don't ransom,
And she goes, oh what fine, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:20:45):
Her, why would she care her tits are anyway? I think, oh, yeah,
that's fine if you like paper. Okay, so yeah that
was our episode. Yeah, okay, so I had a fabulous time.
It was fun. Yeah, we're not haters. I'm definitely not,

(01:21:07):
and it seems like he might be.

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
Why do you want to also tease what we're doing
this summer? Oh yeah, So June we have a cool idea.
So we're gonna do, uh, We're gonna go back in time. Whoa,
So June we're gonna do We're gonna do one normal
episode of like two thousands and nineties and shit, and
then we're also gonna do episode like a sixties themed episode,

(01:21:31):
and then July we're gonna do a seventies themed and
August we're gonna do an eighties theme. So yeah, six
seven eight I love that. Speaking of six seven eight,
do I ever tell you this joke I wrote when
I was the seventh grade? I think it's fucking great.
Why is uh sixthfreight of seven seven nine wrong? Because
seven is a registered sex offender. I wrote that on

(01:21:51):
seventh grade. It's on the funny and I forgot about
it until this past weekend.

Speaker 2 (01:21:55):
So that's so funny. So I'm excited for Blast on
the past summer And hey.

Speaker 1 (01:22:02):
That's a good name. It's gonna be I just came
up with it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
Yeah, and I'm sure someone else made that up, but
at one point, but as you said earlier off the air,
everything's already been made up before somebody.

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
Yeah, exactly, Okay, and.

Speaker 2 (01:22:14):
Then check out our new notable news time or whatever,
and then some nuggets here and there, nam follow us
on Instagram, Facebook, leave us the five star review, tell
us how horrible we are. I don't give a fuck.
I'd jerk off to that shit. And then and then yeah,
tell your friends about us. Yeah, and all right, until

(01:22:35):
next time.

Speaker 1 (01:22:35):
I'm Jeff, I'm hopefully soon Andrew Kendrew.

Speaker 2 (01:22:40):
I love that we're taking her name.

Speaker 1 (01:22:41):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:42):
All right, tellas I'm We will see you next.

Speaker 1 (01:22:44):
Tuesday, Toby Beare. And that's a wrap for this episode
of Notable Nostalgia. We hope you enjoyed our trip down
memory lane just as much as we did. If you
love reminiscing with us, don't forget to subscribe great and
leave a review and be sure to tune in next time.
From Nostalgia Fund. Notable Nostalgia was created by alij Ward,
produced by Andrew Lipsy, and edited by Andrew Lipsey. You

(01:23:07):
can find us at Facebook dot com, slash Notable Noostalgia,
Instagram dot com, slash Notable Nostalgia, and shoot us an
email at Notable Nostalgia ninety at gmail dot com. Catch
you on the flip side, nostalgia nerds,

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