Edward October's All You Can Eat Culinary Creepshow

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Feeler serves the kneel himself, taking great care not to
lose a single drop of grade as he sliced the joint.
Underdone the perfection to build the two plates with the
chunks of ripping meat.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm Edward October. The sound you hear is Master of
Horror and real life foodie Vincent Price enjoying lamb Armistan.
This is the start of October pod. The clip comes

(00:44):
from an episode of the BBC radio show The Price
of Fear called Speciality of the House. According to the
website The Sound Vincentprice dot com, three series of episodes
codes were broadcast in nineteen seventy three, nineteen seventy five

(01:04):
and nineteen eighty three. The article I'm referencing was written
by Peter Fuller and is the most exhaustive rundown of
the series I've ever seen, and is of course highly recommended.
Pryce stars as himself for most episodes, including all episodes
from the nineteen eighty three series. Price merely serves as

(01:26):
a horror host, either introducing the main story and wrap
around narrations, or patiently listening to the story as it's
recounted by an old friend or a stranger. On a train.
You get the idea, But the best episodes of the
series involved Price as an actual participant in the events
of the main story, and many of these stories revolve

(01:48):
around Price's career as a horror icon.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Several years ago, I was making a movie in Germany
and there was some sort of hold up during shooting
at times, and in boring stay of affairs that happened
to Aldo often and his.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Real life hobbies collecting fine.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Art, renoir, money, money, dega, each in their turn glowed
briefly down at is from the auctioneer's easel, to be
knocked down with almost indecent haste.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
And gourmet food.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Food, by the way, is something of a hobby of mine,
and I never ceased to wonder at the incredible results
that can be achieved by a good chef with a
few basic ingredients, a little meat, a few vegetables, glass
of wine, sprig of parsley, and.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Willa speciality of the house. And again I'm getting a
lot of my information from the Peter Fuller article is
based upon a story that first appeared in a nineteen
forty eight issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery magazine. It involves Price,
who is in London between films, meeting up with an
old friend named Harry Laffler, who introduces Price to an

(03:01):
unusual and secretive restaurant called Spiro's, which serves on very
rare occasions, usually after one of the restaurant's regular patrons
goes missing a dish called lamb Armistan.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
You heard me mention these special unfortunately with not on
tonight's menu. Well, what we've just eaten is nothing when
compared to the absolute delights of that special good Lord worth,
What is it?

Speaker 1 (03:30):
I mean, Nightingales tones, filet of Unicorn.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Neither it is lamb lamb.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh God, You've got to be joking.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
If I were to give you, in my own unstinted words,
my opinion of this dish, you would think me insane.
That is how deeply they never thought of it affects me.
It is a select portion of the rarest sheep in existence.
Lamb armistans a remote, almost unknown place on the border

(04:03):
which separates Russia and Afghanistan.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
If you're familiar with the story of Hansel and Gretel,
you can probably guess the dark secret behind this coveted dish.
By the way, in the radio play which I've been
listening to for years. It sounds to me that the
characters are saying Spiro s p I r O like

(04:28):
former Vice President Spiro Agnew, and Armistan ar m I
s t a n as in like Armistice. But in
my research, these names appear to be spelled Spiro s
b I r r O and ah mehr stan a

(04:50):
m I r s t a N. I haven't read
the original story, so perhaps these are the spellings that
appear in Ellery Queen's or in the novelation of the series.
Or maybe my rural Appalachian brain just has trouble deciphering
British accents. But for the purposes of this show, I'm

(05:12):
going to be using Spiro and Armistan. The story was
later adapted for an episode of the nineteen eighties revival
of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, starring another icon of horror cinema,
John Saxon.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
But there was something different in that dish, something that
I had never tasted before.

Speaker 5 (05:33):
I'm getting to the head last special secret ingredient. Yes,
the secret ingredient.

Speaker 6 (05:40):
What is it?

Speaker 5 (05:41):
Well, mister December, as you said.

Speaker 7 (05:43):
To your friend, we'll see any.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
We all want we eat, But even before that. The
story was adapted for the fifth season of the original
Alfred Hitchcock Presents in nineteen fifty nine. It stars Robert
Morley as Lafler, an actor who was perhapshps, best known
by horror fans, at least for his role in Theater
of Blood opposite Vincent Price. In that picture, he plays

(06:09):
a man who meets a grotesque gastronomic fate when the
Shakespearean actor Edward Lyonheart played by Price, poses as a
chef to exact his revenge Sauce Mornee.

Speaker 7 (06:22):
The menu tells us who can say with what love
and care the bechamel was prepared from which the mornee
is derived. Who can say with what tenderness the cheese
was grated? Who can say whether the result will be
a delight or a disappointment? Here at Spirow's, we have
no doubts, We ask no questions. We only know that

(06:44):
there is a genius in the kitchen.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
If you stick around for the bloopers and out takes
reel at the end of this episode, you will be
treated with a personal anecdote of mine concerning this particular
radio play. And do check out the price of all
the episodes are readily available on YouTube and elsewhere. My
other favorite episodes are Cat's Cradle, Come As You Are,

(07:10):
the Man Who Hated Scenes, which also features Peter Cushing,
an Eye for an Eye, and a found footagey adaptation
of am Burridge's off three told story The Waxwork.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
I switched it to my hotel dining room instead. The
decor hideously modern, the food bad, the waiter's rude, the
place positively bulging with people. I wouldn't have had it
any other way.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Of course, There's plenty of horror stories to be told
from the restaurant industry, and many of them are true.
What follows are some macabre morsels I found viewing in
the kitchen of that greasy spoon diner we call Reddit.

(08:05):
As I did on our Haunted Churches episode, These tales
will be narrated more or less as they're written. It
came from Reddit Culinary Creeps, narrated by Edward October with

(08:26):
Amber Jordan, co host of Witches, talking taro Let's wet
our appetites with some ghost stories. Reddit user al Ron's
Girl writes, I worked in a haunted restaurant for years.
We even had paranormal investigators come in, but if there

(08:48):
were no customers, we'd hear silverware clinking and hushed whispers
after the bar would close for the night. There were
a few times when we saw someone walk by the
window between the balls dining room. One time, the waitress
and I grabbed our meal from the kitchen and went
to go sit behind the waitress station. There were a
few tables situated directly in front of the waitress station.

(09:11):
We sat our plates down and were chatting when someone
knocked on the other side of the wall. The waitress
immediately ran over to the table, thinking a customer came in,
and she went over apologizing for ignoring them. No one
was there. This one comes from Reddit user i Jaeger.

(09:38):
I used to work at a truck stop that was
haunted by something that fancied itself a trickster. I'll condense
it to the three best stories. The first happened all
the time. We do all of our prep in the
back kitchen and would put water onto boil ground beef
to brown that sort of stuff. We got in the
habit of checking our burners a few minutes after we started,

(10:01):
because most of the time they'd somehow be turned to off. Secondly,
this only happened one time, but I was dicing onions
and see what looked like a man walk right by me.
I asked him if he needed help, but he just
turned and walked toward the dry storage. I followed him in,
only to find the room empty. Lastly, I was in

(10:23):
the back kitchen again and one of the lion cooks
comes bursting out looking for a fight. Now, to preface this,
our freezer and the light switch for said freezer were
both inside the walk in. When he was in the freezer,
the light suddenly shut off and he heard what sounded
like a man laughing. He assumed it was me, but
calmed down once I told him not only was it

(10:46):
not me, but I had been in the other room
the whole time and no one else had gone into
the walk in. He got white as a sheet and
just walked off, mumbling, fucking ghost man. Ready user steedge
Gep writes, my restaurant is an old gas station that

(11:07):
was built in the forties. We actually have a couple
of ghosts. I've been in the building for twenty years.
About fifteen years ago, my daughter's best friend was one
of our servers. She had the whole icee dead people vibe,
and one day said to my daughters, does your dad
know there's a little kid watching him cook? The way

(11:33):
the kitchen is set up, at the end of the line,
there's a dry storage closet, and apparently this little wraith
would just casually sit on the fire oil boxes and
watch the action down on the line. Over time, a
few things became apparent. He didn't like other kids, and
other kids could see him. Every kid that sat in

(11:54):
our dining room would scream bloody murder. Secondly, he was
afraid of the dark. There was a light bulb in
the dry storage area that never went out, burned for
twenty years straight. I've never found a switch for that light.
I never found a breaker that would shut it off.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
This one comes from Reddit user dw This Once as
a teenager, I was with friends and we stopped in
at the Cork Street tavern in Winchester, Virginia. Grew up
near it, never been in before, and I was just
going to use the bathroom. On my way towards the bathroom,
I felt what seemed like someone sticking their foot out

(12:41):
and trying to trip me. Thing is, no one was
near me. Customers or employees, and nothing at all on
the floor or anything. Wasn't till a few years later
I was reading a Ghosts of Virginia book and the
tavern was in there a Aparently, they claim it's the

(13:01):
spirit of a man who hates women and likes to
trip them.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Reddit user de fahi or is it defa hay rights?
I worked at a place that was someone's house back
in the day, converted into a restaurant. Kept the whole
house structure super cool. The owner got his maid pregnant
and killed the whole family in the house, including himself.

(13:28):
Definitely haunted. A woman worked there for thirty plus years.
She's still there. She wouldn't even talk about the stuff
she'd seen there she was so spooked by her Reddit
user Alive Citron fifty eight to seventy three writes, I
worked at a restaurant on the Jersey Shore. Was on

(13:50):
the first floor of a three story building with apartments
up top. One day, I'm working on my own doing
prepping the back. The rest of the staff is across
the street catering hall. I hear the chime of the
front door ring and look up at the monitor trained
on the front door. I see a rotund man about
forty years old. He's doing something with his arms, almost

(14:14):
like he's popping and locking. Put down my knife, go
through the French doors and start to say I'll be
right with you. By the time I get to you
a short distance, I'm in the dining room staring at nobody.
I dropped to my knees to see if he's under
one of the tables, hiding underneath the tablecloth. Nobody. Checking

(14:37):
the house, smoke room, nobody. Run outside to the deserted sidewalk, nobody.
I heard and saw somebody who disappeared. When the other
workers came back in, I immediately told them of my experience.
Two employees told me, oh, that's just the ghost of Ralph,

(14:57):
who died upstairs. Was a disc go king apparently still
likes to come visit. I guess. Here's a story from
ready user. Oh so retro. We had a guest going
to cardiac arrest during service and they ended up dying.
In the dining room, one of the line cooks was

(15:18):
taking pictures with his phone, and some of the others
were like, that's not a great idea, but this guy
was taking video of the medics doing chest compressions and
the whole bit. He took pictures of them covering him
up and of them rolling him out. Some time later,
many of the others were telling him he's going to
catch a curse, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, when we

(15:40):
came in the next morning, the middle pain of a
three pane window separating the kitchen from the dining room
was shattered out or two were completely fine, just the
middle one completely shattered to bits. It's the same window
dude was photographing from, easily the spookiest thing I've ever

(16:02):
seen in my life. Of course, not all kitchen nightmares
are of the ghostly variety. Here are some tales of
horrifying injuries that restaurant's staff have witnessed. Ready User Sean
Sucks shares his worst injury story. I put a ten
inch chef's knife through my left ring finger on a

(16:23):
busy Saturday night, cut down through the bone, severed the tendon.
You're used to a certain amount of tension on your
finger all the time that you don't really notice until
it's gone. For a moment, I thought I'd cut my
finger clean off. I had to take a deep breath
and look down in the sink to make sure it
wasn't just sitting there. I tried for a few minutes

(16:45):
to wrap it up and get back to work, but
quickly noticed my finger was just kind of flopping around
and I could no longer bend it. I had to
have surgery to reattach the tendon, but it was permanently shortened,
and now my fingers always kind of slightly bent. I
can no longer straighten it all the way. I was

(17:06):
in a bit of shock, I guess, because at first
it didn't really hurt that much, just throbbed a lot.
But when I got to the hospital and they told
me to lay my hand on the table so they
could examine it, and I really looked at it for
the first time, I almost fell out of the chair.
I was in negative one out of ten. Do not

(17:27):
recommend somewhat sentient ape, says this one's kitchen adjacent. I
worked as a bus boy in a two story restaurant
when I was eighteen. I'd let the bus tubs stack
up upstairs because I'd also prep wash dishes, keep the

(17:47):
salad bars stocked, et cetera. I was bringing it down
to dish and hitting my hand on a post and
dropped the whole tub. A dish broke in A shard
of it about an inch and a half long, shot
directly into the tendon above my right kneecap. One of
the servers pulled it out and put a Mickey Mouse
band aid on it. I finished the shift, but next

(18:10):
morning I couldn't make my leg move. That was a
weird sensation. Two days later it started working and I
went back to work. My dumb ass probably should have
had surgery thirty one years later. And I usually know
when the weather is going to change though XX snow
red XX rights right. So what graveyard shift an all

(18:32):
night chip shop?

Speaker 3 (18:33):
SI?

Speaker 2 (18:33):
We were story to this day is when this slack
broke a boyfriend's hand in a bathroom door and back
of the chip shop. We didn't know what happened until
the fibrigade came told us it want no fingers lying
about in the bathroom or anything, so we good go
clean up now mite excuse me. So that was a
fun night. I had to repaint the bathroom, and I
will give me respects to bro because when the boss
watched on the cameras, he said he ain't hear no screaming,

(18:54):
bloody murder or nothing, because we ain't hear anything in
a kitchen, just the bashing.

Speaker 8 (18:58):
That's all.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
This car smells funny. Rights worst I've seen was a
tall cook we had who would always run to the
walk in to get product, having to turn a corner
right by the friars. I always got on him about
it and tried to explain that the shoes are slip resistant,
not slip proof. He was young and hard headed, so
he didn't listen. One night, goes flying around the corner

(19:22):
and slips. He tries to catch his fall by grabbing
the edge of the friars and missed. Both arms went
into the grease all the way down to the grates,
halfway up his forearms, and we had to watch in
horror as he screamed in agony and pulled his arms out.

(19:43):
The skin bubbled and slid from his arms and hands.
And if you think that's gross, I read it. User
living Master has a story for you.

Speaker 4 (20:04):
Just went to some real hipster restaurant that four Square
recommended to me about two weeks ago. Sat at the
bar where I saw all the cooks prepare the food.
Literally every worker there was male, had full sleeves gauges
and were wearing beanies. The food was delicious. I ate

(20:25):
every single bite of it. As I waited for my check,
not one but two cockroaches ran across the bar. At
first I didn't notice, but the person I was sitting
next to started stabbing the bar top with a knife
and I was like, what the folk are you doing?
Then I saw the roaches. One of them fell into

(20:48):
my purse and the other ran off towards the prep station.
This also happened in front of two of the workers,
who simply laughed it off. They got zero tip and
then confronted me about it. I told them about the
roaches and how they laughed about it instead of apologizing
for it and comping something on the bill. They said

(21:11):
that it wasn't their fault that roaches ran across, and
since I already ate all my food, it didn't pose
as a problem. So not the right way to deal
with that problem. Never returning there and told all my
friends to avoid that place as well. Fucking gross. Oh,

(21:34):
and I ended up having to dump out my whole
purse to make sure the other roach wasn't in there still,
but it was, and I freaked out.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
Ready to use your wagan right. We were at Lucille's
Smokehouse barbecue. We all got our food and started to eat.
This girl took a few bites, then stopped. She started
to get a weird look on her face. She reaches
in her mouth and pulls out a razor blade. It
was a blade with a hole at the top, probably

(22:09):
used to cut the meat for the salad, she tells
the waitress. Then the manager comes over within two seconds,
asks for the blade so they can give it to corporate.
Yeah right, comps her meal and gives her a new
salad of the same type. She starts to flip out,
saying that she hadn't eaten it. She's never been there since.

(22:33):
This one comes from Reddit user mister five to oh.
One showed up at a restaurant and ordered breakfast, then
saw a couple leaving, and the mader d chased them
down the street and asked them not to leave just yet.
This happened a few times until there was a small
group of people milling around outside giving each other what
the fuck looks. Eventually I overheard the maer d explaining,

(22:56):
I'm really sorry, there's been a small problem in the
kitchen but the chef is just now on the phone
to the Poisons and Information Hotline, so we'll be able
to tell you more in a second. In the meantime,
a waitress told us they wouldn't be able to serve us,
so we should go. Curious, we joined the throng of
people now standing around outside. Eventually, the majer d addressed

(23:18):
us as a group and said, I'm sorry to keep
you all waiting here, but we just wanted to be
sure about what has happened. The chef had set a
large pot of water with caustic soda on the stove
to boil in order to clean it. Unfortunately, our apprentice
used the pot to poach your eggs. We've just checked

(23:40):
with the Poisons and Information Hotline, who told us that
you will all probably be okay because you would have
started to show symptoms already had you been given a
toxic dose. However, we need to inform you that should
you display any of the following symptoms, you should seek
medical attention immediately. Vomiting, diarrhea, loss of hearing, loss of sight,

(24:02):
bleeding from the eyes, ears, mouth or anus, or any
lesions appearing on your skin. Thank you all very much,
and I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I closed that restaurant
down a month or so later, too long. Didn't read
restaurant poisons customers, tells them to watch out for anal bleeding.

(24:24):
Of course, if you can survive the ghosts, the disfiguring injuries,
and the food, you still might have to deal with
creeps and psychos. But don't take my word for it.
Listen to what Reddit user alternative Peace one eighty six
has to say. But first a word of caution before
we begin. These next few stories might be a little

(24:47):
intense for some listeners. If you're sensitive to stories about
stalkers or predator like behavior, you may want to skip
ahead to the intermission.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
I was a bartender. This guy came in with his sister,
who was a regular. Guess he wanted me because he
then kept coming back in. He didn't drink, he only
ever had the free water, but he was there my
entire shifts, demanding my attention and conversation. Then he got

(25:19):
my number. I guess his sister, who had my phone
number because I bought some clothing from her, gave him
my number. At that point I had to draw the
line that I was not interested in pursuing anything, even
just a friendship with him, and was just doing my job.

(25:42):
I was also in a relationship with my high school sweetheart.
We'd been together almost six years at that point. He
freaked out and was verbally abusing me. He kept coming in,
drinking only free water the whole eight hour shifts, but
now was watching me like a hawk and messaging the

(26:04):
owner about how I need to be fired. The owner
sent me screenshots after sending the message, trying to get
me fired. He texted me a pick of his pos
old truck, bragging about how much money he has and
how he can take care of me.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Ugh.

Speaker 4 (26:25):
I wanted to ban this guy from the bar, and
the owner didn't want to. Customer is king, you know,
so I had to resort to You're not making any
money from him anyway. He takes up a seat the
whole time, only getting free water, so he's not a customer.

(26:47):
The owner's solution was to message him back, saying he
can only be at the bar if he is a
paying customer. From now on, this unleashed hell. He sent
messages to the owner and me that he was dying
of cancer and it's cruel of me to not be
there for him a spoiler alert. He doesn't and didn't

(27:10):
have cancer. Owner just reaffirmed I'm there to work, so
he needs to be a paying customer to enter the bar. Well,
he became a paying customer. He paid a buck a
day for a cup of coffee that had free refills,
and still spent all my shifts there. Then he must

(27:33):
have followed me home at some point. I lived only
one block away from the bar. I'll never forget calling
the police because he was sitting on the sidewalk in
front of my place, staring at my window. Cops didn't

(27:57):
come till next day when he wasn't there anymore, and said,
even if he was, it's not illegal to use the sidewalk.
It kept happening. One night I saw him standing on

(28:17):
the sidewalk in front of my window twirling a larger
pocket knife. I contacted the cops. Not illegal. I asked
about a restraining order because of that, harassing my boss,
stalking my job, blowing up my phone and getting a

(28:38):
burner phone every time I blocked him, etc. It took
four hours for them to show up after calling that
this man was showing off a weapon in front of
my window. Cops said I didn't qualify for one because
you could only get one against someone you were in
a relationship with or living together with. Pocket knives are

(29:03):
also not illegal. I was failed by everyone, and even
though he is a registered sex offender that's not allowed
to have social media, I still get friend requests from
him almost a decade later, though luckily I don't live

(29:26):
in that area anymore. Here's one from Reddit user no
Underscore Juggernaut seven. I think that's supposed to be Juggernaut,
but the tea is a seven anyway. She writes, I
work in an ice cream place and getting creepy customers

(29:47):
is very typical. I've begun describing ice cream places as
peto hooters, as old men flock to them to oggle
young teenage girls. And if you look at the uniform
at different ice cream places, oftentimes a T shirt and
short shorts. My friend worked in an ice cream place
they were required to wear shorts at instead of pants,

(30:10):
and it's because at least a quarter of customers come
for the staff more than the ice cream. My young,
busty coworker makes like twenty five an hour with tips,
but is constantly harassed and oggles. We each have our
own resident weirdos who come specifically for us and trade

(30:31):
their dollar tips so they can be attended to buy
us and interact with us. I don't know how many
people have told that one coworker they can smell her
and she doesn't smell scented. They're just being creepy, and
the expectation here is to generally tolerate it. When I

(30:52):
worked in fast coffee but without a drive through, it
could be similar. Whenever some old man needs to touch
my hand in the middle of paying, I get so
grossed out. That would happen at the bakery I worked at, too.
Some people like make you touch hands with them instead
of just paying and taking the change. Specific creeps of history.

(31:17):
Once I had a guy I literally didn't recognize, apparently
a regular, but I was just back from college and
didn't recognize him. He followed me into the parking lot
during my break, apparently remembering me, and asked me where
I'd been and if I was hiding from him. Genuinely,
I didn't recognize him from before that morning's interaction and

(31:38):
was super confused and uncomfortable. He said no matter, he
still wanted me to read his work, and he handed
me a tiny home printed book of his poetry.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
Ugh.

Speaker 4 (31:51):
Ironically, I was an English and psych major, and it
happened to be some of the worst writing I've ever read.
Never saw him again and still have that little buck somewhere.
An old regular from the restaurant industry by Reddit user
Goldielocks three point one four. I like pie two Sorry.

(32:16):
I started waiting tables when I was eighteen at a
popular fast food chain, and soon enough I became acquainted
with an older man named Tim. He's probably in his
early to mid sixties and very obese. He would regularly
come into the little diner that I worked at, and
was a regular prior to my employment there. The other

(32:39):
younger females who worked in the restaurant didn't like to
wait on him because he was kind of weird and
had a creepy, overly excited, slash animated type of vibe.
But I didn't mind because it was a guaranteed five
to ten bucks every day. I was going to talk

(33:00):
to people good at putting up with bullshit, and I'm
not someone to with, so I happily entertained him in
the family friendly environment. The first thing he would do
was make cartoons on the computer and excitedly give them
to me or other servers. The other servers were uncomfortable

(33:22):
with it, even though at this point it was very innocent.
It was generic clip art that maybe had everyone's names
written by each character. Still, some servers were uncomfortable enough
that management had asked him to stop bringing them in.
I could tell that making those cartoons made him happy.

(33:42):
I just figured the guy was lonely, and there's nothing
wrong with that. He started writing poems and short stories
that had bad grammar and were so elementary they were
almost painful. But he told me he just started to
try it out, so I encouraged him, thinking he's lonely
and needs a pastime. I had no problem with him

(34:03):
writing little Hallmark card style poems and giving them to me.
The slightly off putting aspect to this was that all
of the poems and stories had a general theme of
love and family. Also, I think it was around this
time that he started looking at my Facebook page regularly.

(34:25):
He would occasionally photoshop pictures of me from my Facebook
page and put my face on a cartoon body or
something like that. He also kind of started to obsess
over the fact that I was a twin, and he

(34:45):
became very interested in me and all of my sisters.
He would write stories about the twins or the sisters,
or make comic book style artwork about the twin superheroes.
He even found a photo of my twin on Facebook
somewhere and started using her face photoshopped on things too.

(35:09):
After a year at my first serving job, I left
for another serving job where I would be working weird
or third shift kind of hours. I kind of thought
that would be the end of Tim, But boy was
I wrong. He went out of his way to come
at the weird hours and at the new place at

(35:30):
least twice a week. I still maintained my fast food job,
and he even started to visit me there at a
place that people rarely come in and sit down to eat.
Never once did I tell him my schedule. He would
just drive by and see my car. Yes, you heard

(35:57):
that right. The stories he right became progressively more sexual
and longer. One that sticks out was me being a
super sexy, badass cowgirl sheriff and all the men of
the saloon wanted me. He would include weird details like

(36:20):
how someone had an STD If I remember correctly, He
made my sister the character that got an STD and
I had a huge issue with it. I decided to
keep all the stuff he'd given me in my filing
cabinet just in case there was ever some type of

(36:42):
case against him and I need evidence. My fiance finally
convinced me to cut him off. It's also relevant to
note he's been blocked from my Facebook, which I haven't
even actively used in two years or more anyway, but
ior to the cutoff. Even shortly after the cutoff, he

(37:03):
still sent me multiple messages on Facebook every day, from
as simple as good morning Sunshine to intricate and extensive stories.
Just to recap, I first waited on him around May
twenty fifteen. He followed me to my next job and

(37:26):
my long term fast food job around the middle of
two thousand and sixteen, and continued to follow me. I
caught him off around February or March two thousand eighteen.
Yes you heard that right, three full years. When I
was cleaning out my filing cabinet in December twenty nineteen,

(37:50):
I stupidly decided that I can throw all the weird,
creepy unsolicited artwork away. It had been nearly two years
with no issues, no attempt to contact, and the stuff
was just cluttering my space. Last week, as I was
sitting in my living room, a recognizable vehicle is parked

(38:15):
outside of my driveway on the wrong side of the road.
The man has his car window down and I see
a flash. I quickly grab my glasses to try to
discern what the fuck is going on. I see his childish,
overly animated smile, and I recognize his hair and facial

(38:38):
hair and realize the shirt he is wearing is the
same exact type or style of shirt that Tim wears.
I realize I recognize the vehicle because it's the same
vehicle that would pull up to my place of employment three, two,
five times a week for almost three years. Flash. I

(39:05):
realize it's fucking Tim outside of my motherfing residence over
two years later, taking pictures of my home with that
goddamn digital camera that he took my picture with twice
before in the past. Mother fucker.

Speaker 9 (39:40):
Monsters do have their place in the zoo, in your nightmares,
in the deep, in your favorite horror movies, but not
on your phone during an ad break. Politically motivated interests
are seeking to influence you through the ads placed on
this podcast. Hi, I'm your host Edward October, reminding you

(40:03):
that we have very limited control over the ads you
hear on October Pod. Please remember that only the ads
and promos I read with my own voice carry the
endorsement of Edward October and October Pod. Furthermore, I and
the makers of October Pod repudiate any entity advertised which

(40:23):
seeks to promote hatred, anti American or anti democratic sentiments,
or the spread of misinformation. Now with that in mind,
October Pod will return after this brief ad break.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
It's intermission time, folks. I'm your host, mister Edward October.
Welcome back to our culinary creep show. Before we continue,
I'd like to give a shout out to one of
our listeners, Tony Bray on YouTube. Tony is one of
our most faithful listeners who almost always leaves a comment
that brightens my day. Be a bold individualist, be like Tony.

(41:09):
If you like what you hear, tell us about it.
In nineteen ninety eight, following the success of Goodwill, Hunting,
director Gus Van Sandt had enough clout to go off
and make any picture he wanted to. And so what

(41:31):
did he do? He made a shot for shot remake
of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho Van Sant worked from the same
script and storyboards developed for the original, and even reused
Bernard Hermann's iconic score, which was retooled with stereophonic orchestrations
by Danny Elfman. Now anyone will tell you that this

(41:52):
was ill advised, a pretentious act of cinematic hubris, which proved,
as Roger Ebert put it in his room, that one
can succeed at playing the notes without ever playing the music.
The remake differed only in the setting present day, the cast,
the costumes, and the makes and models of the cars,

(42:14):
with the exception of some upsetting sound effects if you know,
you know, and a couple of ponderous insert shots in
the shower scene. Great pains were taken to replicate Hitchcock's
original as closely as possible. However, one line of dialogue
was changed because it was just too anachronistic. It occurs

(42:35):
in the scene where Private Detective Arbogast played by William H.
Macy an inspired casting choice, actually is interrogating Norman Bates
played by Vince vam A pretty dumb casting choice, you
know what, come to think of it. A young William H.
Macy would have made a Norman Baits for the ages.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
How'd you pay you?

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Cash?

Speaker 4 (43:01):
Cash?

Speaker 10 (43:01):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Cash?

Speaker 8 (43:02):
Huh?

Speaker 10 (43:04):
After she left she didn't come back.

Speaker 8 (43:07):
Why would she?

Speaker 3 (43:11):
Well?

Speaker 5 (43:11):
I guess that's about it, mister Arbogast.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
So I got some work to do.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
If you don't mind, well, i'll tell you the truth.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
I do mine.

Speaker 7 (43:17):
If it don't gel, it ain't jello.

Speaker 5 (43:20):
And it's just ain't gelling. It's not coming together.

Speaker 7 (43:22):
Somehow, something's missing.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Now here's the same scene from the original, with Martin
Balsam as Arbagast and Anthony Perkins as Bates.

Speaker 5 (43:32):
And after she left she didn't come back.

Speaker 8 (43:35):
Oh why should she?

Speaker 10 (43:38):
Well, mister, I guess that's about it.

Speaker 5 (43:42):
I got some work to do.

Speaker 10 (43:43):
If you don't mind, well.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
I'll tell you the truth. I do mine.

Speaker 9 (43:47):
You see, if it doesn't gel, it is an aspect.

Speaker 5 (43:49):
And this ain't gelling.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
It's not coming together.

Speaker 5 (43:52):
Somebody's missing.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
The two scenes are identical on paper, with the exception
of one word. In Psycho ninety eight, the word is
used instead of aspec. Now it's obvious why the line
was changed. No one in nineteen ninety eight would have
known what aspect is and even fewer people know today,
So what the hell is aspect? Anyway? To answer that question,

(44:16):
I turned to retro recipe expert Anna Creator, host of
Cooking the Books on YouTube, who, thanks to the miracle
of radio, is here with us today. Welcome back, Anna.

Speaker 11 (44:29):
Hey there, it's great to be here.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
So aspect from watching your videos, I know that aspect
is a fairly common ingredient found in lots of mid
century recipes. What is it? Is it exactly like jello?
And why did they use it so much in the forties, fifties,
and sixties.

Speaker 11 (44:48):
Aspec is typically a savory dish. It can be made
with meatstock and gelatin, and it encases ingredients a lot
of times vegetables or something like that. Even meat self
is a brand name, sort of like Kleenex or band Aid.
We've just taken to calling everything that's made of gelatine jello,
but in fact, Jello used to make savory or like

(45:11):
vegetable flavored gelatine. At one time, aspects and gelatin molds
were really a signal of wealth.

Speaker 4 (45:18):
You know.

Speaker 11 (45:19):
It took a lot of time and skill to not
only make the gelatin by itself, but to make these
elaborate molded creations, so that usually meant that you had
a cook or staff that could do that for you.
But then when Gello was introduced in the late eighteen hundreds,
it made that kind of food more accessible for everyday households.
As for why we don't make or consume quite as

(45:41):
many aspects or gelatin molds anymore, I think it really
comes down to food trends and individual tastes. But in
fact that's really just for the US, because in other countries,
you know, food encased in gelatin is quite a bit
more popular than it is here.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Now, I've seen aspect used for some truly heinous recipes,
like savory gelatin atrocities filled with fruit mayonnaise, onions and
or pickles and more mayonnaise. This is, after all, a
horror podcast, So tell us about the most horrifying retro

(46:16):
recipes you've ever encountered.

Speaker 11 (46:18):
Now, I try to keep an open mind about all
of the recipes that I encounter. You know, you just
don't know until you try it, right, But when I
made a video to commemorate ten thousand subscribers to my channel,
I made something called ring around Tuna Mold, and it
just was not to my tastes. It's basically a creamy,
gelatinized tuna salad mold, and I completely understand, you know

(46:42):
that's for some people. It really just it wasn't for me.
That's what I like to say, if I don't like something,
it's just not for me. I also recall coming across
a recipe for liver in raisin sauce. I like raisins,
I don't like liver, and I don't think I would
especially like those two things together. Early on in my channel,

(47:03):
I tried a recipe for something called deviled Luncheon Special,
and if I'm recalling correctly, it was like a frozen
toaster waffle that you topped with a mixture of cream
of chicken, soup, doubled ham, and hard cooked eggs. I
think that was pretty much everything that was in there.
I didn't really care for that one too much either.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
There are lots of recipes and old cookbooks that are
engineered towards stretching ingredients or making do with ingredients that
are readily available to you when other ingredients like fresh produce, meat,
dairy eggs are hard to find due to wartime rationing
or depression era scarcity. As we all know, the price

(47:43):
of eggs has gone up and there are fewer of
them on the shelves. In the news, we hear every
day that we can soon expect to see more and
more empty shelves in the grocery store. Now, with that
in mind, do you see any of these old ingredients
stretching recipes making a twenty first century comeback.

Speaker 11 (48:01):
I could absolutely see some of these ingredients stretching recipes
making a huge comeback. In fact, I think some of
them never really went away. We're always trying to think
of ways to stretch our food budget, especially with meat.
I think ground meat is a great way to do
that because you can mix it with other things. And
one recipe that comes to mind is porcupine meatballs. That's

(48:22):
a recipe made a very long time ago on my channel,
But basically, it's meatballs that are mixed with rice and
cooked so that meat goes a little bit further and
the little bits of rice kind of stick out of
the meatballs. That's why they're called porcupine meatballs. Another recipe
that comes to mind here is wacky cake. Maybe you've
heard of it. It's a cake that you make with

(48:43):
no eggs, no milk, and no butter. It's vegetable oil,
vinegar and baking soda and that causes a reaction in
the cake to make it delicious and light and it is.
It's a very good recipe. I still make this one myself,
and it is vegan also, it's like accidentally vegan. Egg
prices have been a big topic of discussion as of late.

(49:04):
They aren't as inexpensive as they once were. But there
are some substitutions you can make if you are baking especially.
Some of my favorites include apple sauce. Canned pumpkin is
a good one. It depends, of course, on the flavor
of whatever it is that you're baking. I also like
to use flax seed. I have a video on my
channel for peanut butter cookies that are egg free and

(49:26):
that utilizes flax seed.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
Well, hopefully there'll be no shortage of Halloween candy this year.
Speaking of Halloween, your first appearance on October Pod was
in our Halloween potluck. You made a ghost cake with
flaming eyes based on a vintage recipe. In October pods
first and to date only cooking segment. Do you have

(49:49):
any favorite vintage Halloween recipes or no of any old
school Halloween party ideas that you wish would make a comeback.

Speaker 11 (49:58):
For the most part, I think Halloween recipes are really
mostly about appearance, how they're garnished, how they're decorated. Maybe
some fall flavored foods, but they look like pumpkins or
there's ghosts on them or cats, something like that. Last Halloween,
I made some stuffed peppers using orange peppers, orange bell peppers,

(50:20):
and I carved a little Jack o' lantern faces in them,
and they were just adorable. Of course, you could also
give them scary faces if that's more your speed. I
don't have any exclusively Halloween cookbooks in my collection that
are very vintage. Those didn't seem to come out until
much later. Some of the cookbooks that I do have

(50:41):
are holiday based, so they have like every holiday in
the year, including Halloween, and then some of them are
like children's party cookbooks that kind of thing. But one
of my very favorite things about Halloween's past, it's got
to be the decorations. I think the Halloween decor of
you know, the twenties and up, it was just amazing,

(51:04):
just those those like paper miche pumpkins and cats. The
blow molds incredible. I mean, those decorations were just so good.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
On your YouTube channel, Cooking the Books, you often show
off recipes from your extensive collection of vintage cookbooks and
a femera from decades past. Do you have a favorite
culinary decade.

Speaker 11 (51:27):
I think my favorite decade for cookbooks in general, it's
got to be the nineteen sixties, and you see a
big shift from the early nineteen sixties to the late
nineteen sixties. Things get a whole lot groovyer after nineteen
sixty six sixty seven. You see brighter colors and flower
power in that kind of thing, whereas in the earlier

(51:49):
part of the decade you're seeing, you know, more pastels,
that kind of thing. It looks like the late nineteen fifties.
It's a little bit closer to that. I wouldn't say
that I have a least favorite decade when it comes
to cookbooks, but often people do ask me to cook
recipes from the Great Depression. I don't really have anything
against that time period, and I do own cookbooks from

(52:11):
that time period, but the design of the books is
just it's like a lot more fun when you get
to the fifty sixty seventies, so I tend to lean
more toward that time period. I can't say that there's
a singular decade that has the best food and the
best recipes, because in each decade there are winners and
there are duds, for sure. I mean, I've seen a

(52:34):
whole range of things. The nineteen seventies recipes do start
to become a little bit more familiar to me because
I grew up in the nineteen eighties. So my parents,
you know, they got married in the nineteen seventies, and
so they were cooking dishes from that time period for
our family.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
I started this segment talking about Hitchcock, so I'm going
to end it with Hitchcock. Do you have a favorite
Alfred Hitchcock film? Rope would be a great picture to
watch if if you need inspiration for your next dinner party.

Speaker 11 (53:03):
So I'm not much for scary movies, but I do
love suspenseful movies, so there are quite a few Alfred
Hitchcock films that I do enjoy. My favorite is probably
Rear Window. I just love the set design, I love
how it shot, and I think the casting is wonderful.

(53:23):
Thelma Ritter as Stella the Traveling Nurse. I feel like
she just steals the show for this one. And Grease Kelly,
I mean, she's just gorgeous. Her costumes are amazing too.
I feel like I'm talking more about the aesthetics of
this movie than i am the story and how suspenseful
it is. But those are just the things I love
about it. I also enjoy the Birds. I think that's

(53:45):
maybe the first Elfred Hitchcock movie I ever watched. I
was a kid. When I watched that, I had a
lot of questions about what was going on. I also
remember watching reruns of Alfred Hitchcock Presents on Nicke at night.
That's a core memory for me. I always watch those
with my dad.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Now, if you're listening and you like all things retro
or just like food, you'll want to check out and
A's YouTube channel Cooking the Books.

Speaker 11 (54:11):
I absolutely love making videos about not just vintage recipes,
but I spend a lot of time talking about and
looking at vintage cookbooks themselves, the layouts, the design, illustrations, photographs,
all of that. So for most of my videos, I'll
end up cooking a few recipes. Typically it's three recipes,

(54:31):
and then there's a whole separate segment where I just
sit down and show you the cookbook and talk about it.
I've collected vintage cookbooks for over thirty years at this point,
and it's always been about more than the food for me.
I mean, yes, of course the recipes are important, but
I think the cookbook itself and how it looks is
just as important to me. You can find me over

(54:52):
on YouTube. My channel is called Cooking the Books. I'm
also on Instagram at underscore Cooking the Books Underscore. I
had to get creative with that one because someone else
has the name cooking Books. And I'm also on Patreon,
so if you decide you really like my regular YouTube channel,
you can go to my Patreon and for a mere
five dollars a month you can get additional content.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Folks who've been speaking with Anna, creator, host of Cooking
the Books on YouTube, thanks for being with us today.

Speaker 11 (55:23):
Thank you for having me. This was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
The final course of our culinary creep show is piping
hot out of the oven and ready to be carved.
Act two of October pod starts now. Captain Murderer by

(55:58):
Charles Dickens from the September eighth eighteen sixty edition of
the publication All the Year Round, narrated by Edward October.
If we all knew in our own minds, I suspect
we should find our nurses responsible for most of the
dark corners we are forced to go back to against

(56:20):
our wills. The first diabolical character who intruded himself on
my peaceful youth was a certain Captain Murderer. This wretch
must have been an offshoot of the Bluebeard family, but
I had no suspicion of the consanguinity in those times.
His warning name would seem to have awakened no general

(56:44):
prejudice against him, for he was admitted into the best
society and possessed immense wealth. Captain Murderer's mission was matrimony
and the gratification of a cannibal appetite with tender brides.
On his marriage morning, he always caused both sides of
the way to church to be planted with curious flowers.

(57:06):
And when his bride said, dear Captain Murderer, I never
saw flowers like these before. What are they called? They
are called Garnish for the house lamb and laughed at
his ferocious, practical joke. In a horrid manner, disquieting the
minds of the noble bridle company with a very sharp

(57:29):
show of teeth, then displayed for the first time. He
made love in a coach and six and married in
a coach and twelve, And all his horses were milk
white horses with one red spot on the back, which
he caused to be hidden by the harness, for the
red spot would come there. Though every horse was milk

(57:50):
white when Captain Murderer bought him, and the spot was
young bride's blood. When Captain Murderer made an end of
feasting and revelry and had dismissed the noble guests, and
was alone with his wife on the day month after
their marriage, it was his whimsical custom to produce a

(58:13):
golden rolling pin and a silver pie board. Now there
was this special feature in the captain's courtships that he
always asked if the young lady would make pie crust,
and if she couldn't by nature or education, she was
taught well. When the bride saw Captain Murderer produce the

(58:35):
golden rolling pin and silver pie board, she remembered this
and turned up her lace silk sleeves to make a pie.
The captain brought out a silver pie dish of immense capacity,
And the captain brought out flour and butter and eggs,
and all things needful except the inside of the pie

(58:59):
of material for the staple of the pie itself. The
captain brought out none. Then said the lovely bride, dear
captain murderer, what pie is this to be? He replied,
A meat pie. Then said the lovely bride, dear captain murderer,

(59:22):
I see no meat. The captain humorously retorted, look in
the glass. She looked in the glass, but still she
saw no meat. And then the captain roared with laughter,
and suddenly, frowning and drawing his sword, bade her roll

(59:43):
out the crust. So she rolled out the crust, dropping
large tears upon it, all the while because he was
so cross with her. And when she had lined the
dish with crust, and had cut the crust all ready
to fit the top, the captain called out, I see
the meat in the glass. And the bride looked up

(01:00:04):
at the glass just in time to see the captain
cutting her head off. And he chopped her into pieces,
and peppered her, and salted her, and put her in
the pie and sent it to the baker's and ate
it all and picked the bones. Captain Murderer went on

(01:00:26):
in this fashion, prospering exceedingly until he came to choose
a bride from two twin sisters, and at first didn't
know which of them to choose, for though one was
fair and the other dark, they were both equally beautiful.
But the fair twin loved him, and the dark twin

(01:00:46):
hated him, so he chose the fair one. The dark
twin would have prevented the marriage if she could, but
she couldn't. However, on the night before it, much suspecting
Captain Murderer, she stole out and climbed his garden wall
and looked in at his window through a chink in
the shutter, and saw him having his teeth filed sharp.

(01:01:11):
Next day she listened all day and heard him make
his joke about the house lamb, And that day month
he had the paste rolled out and cut the fair
twin's head off, and chopped her in pieces, and peppered
her and salted her, and put her in the pie,
and sent it to the baker's and ate it all

(01:01:33):
and picked the bones. Now, the dark twin had had
her suspicions much increased by the filing of the captain's teeth,
and again by the house lamb joke, putting all things together.
When he gave out that her sister was dead, she

(01:01:53):
divined the truth and determined to be revenged. So she
went up to Captain Murderer's house and knocked at the
knocker and pulled at the bell, and when the captain
came to the door, said dear Captain Murderer, won't you
marry me next? For I always loved you and was

(01:02:18):
jealous of my sister. The captain took it as a
compliment and made a polite answer, and the marriage was
quickly arranged. On the night before it, the bride again
climbed to his window and again saw him having his
teeth filed sharp. At this sight, she laughed such a

(01:02:42):
terrible laugh at the chink in the shutter that the
Captain's blood curdled, and he said, I hope nothing has
disagreed with me. At that, she laughed again, a still
more terrible laugh, and the shutter was opened and search made,

(01:03:03):
but she was nimbly gone, and there was no one.
Next day they went to church and a coach at
twelve and were married, And that day month she rolled
the pie crust out, and Captain Murderer cut her head
off and chopped her in pieces, and peppered her and

(01:03:24):
salted her, and put her in the pie and sent
it to the baker's and ate it all and picked
the bones. But before she began to roll out the paste,
she had taken a deadly poison of a most awful character,
distilled from a toad's eyes and spider's knees. And Captain

(01:03:49):
Murderer had hardly picked her last bone when he began
to swell and to turn blue, and to be all
over spots, and to scream. And he went on swelling
and turning bluer, and being more all over spots and screaming,

(01:04:09):
until he reached from floor to ceiling and from wall
to wall. And then at one o'clock in the morning
he blew up with a loud explosion. At the sound
of it, all the milk white horses in the stables

(01:04:29):
broke their halters and went mad, and then they galloped
over everybody in Captain Murderer's house, beginning with the family blacksmith,
who had filed his teeth until the hole were dead,
and then they galloped away. Stick around after the credits

(01:04:54):
for a brief word from some of our fellow indie podcasters,
creators and friends. There may be be some bloopers, outtakes,
and bonus content as well. You have been listening to Octoberpod.
Octoberpod is produced, edited and directed by Edward October. The
series co producers are m J McAdams and Amber Jordan.

(01:05:14):
Logo and banner graphics by Jessica Good Edward October character
design by Nick Calavera. Select still photography courtesy of unsplashed
dot com. Select music cues by Doctor dream Chip and
various other stock music and sound effects courtesy of freesound
dot org. Music from Bigfoot Apocalypse and Thorax theme from

(01:05:37):
Octoberpod composed by Nico Vitaesi. All other images, music, and
FX cues, except where noted, are sourced from within the
public domain. Follow us on YouTube at Octoberpod, home video,
on Instagram and the app I Still Call Twitter at
Octoberpod vhs, and on TikTok and Blue Sky at Octoberpod

(01:06:00):
or find us and all of our links on the
world wide Web at octoberpodvhs dot com. For business inquiries
or story submissions, email octoberpodat gmail dot com. If you
enjoyed this program, we'd be very pleased if you told
your friends about us, and while you're at it, write
us a five star or equivalent review. Wherever you were listening,

(01:06:23):
the man who spoke to you was mister Edward October.

Speaker 5 (01:06:29):
Spoot Spot.

Speaker 12 (01:06:34):
Hey there, I'm Tara and I'm Jessica, and together we
co host the podcast Three Spoot Girls.

Speaker 13 (01:06:39):
If you love the paranormal or murder, join us on
Mondays for full length episodes where we discuss our favorite
paranormal stories and true crime cases.

Speaker 12 (01:06:48):
And join us again on Thursdays for our minisodes called
stabby Snippets, where we tell you all about true crimes
happening in the news.

Speaker 13 (01:06:54):
You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Podbean, Spotify, orre
ofver the hell else you listen to your pod. You
can also find us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook by
using the handle at three Spooked Girls.

Speaker 12 (01:07:06):
Come and hang out with us and get your spooky
on while we scare the hell out of you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
They rule the streets, They take what they want and.

Speaker 5 (01:07:25):
It over street meets before we make you dead.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
Meats and You'll have to deal with them if you
want to make it through the night. If Ashley wants
to survive, she'll need to fight on their turf. She'll
have to fight dirty, stop struggling, and she'll have to

(01:07:52):
pick them off one by one if she hopes to
make it through the night. Make It Through the Night,
the savage novel of revenge and violence on the Streets
by Amy Koto, available now from Amazon dot com. Find

(01:08:12):
more by author Amy Koto by visiting TV Fanatic dot
blog or on Twitter at TV Underscore Fanatic Underscore Girl.
Make It Through the Night by Amy Cooto, Her Night
from Hell has only just begun.

Speaker 5 (01:08:29):
I'm Pitney and I'm Amelia, and we're from Pitny and Amelia,
Pitch and Bootique. Who were we? Why were your new
best friends? Of course, pull up.

Speaker 6 (01:08:41):
A seat and listen in to what we think about people, places,
and things.

Speaker 5 (01:08:46):
Giky stuff or movies, wirdos. We know, spirituality, sexuality, food, phil.

Speaker 6 (01:08:53):
It's like eavesdropping on the people at the next table
for like an hour or so and wishing you could
join in on their conversation.

Speaker 5 (01:09:00):
Also, do you see who just came in? Look at
that hair? Oh honey, just no bitchiness. You're soaking in it.
We soften your hands while you do the dishes. Kidney
and Amelia's bitch and Boutique.

Speaker 6 (01:09:17):
We're here, We're queer, and we're in your ear every
other Friday where all the classiest podcasts are found.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
I guess I should do an alternate intro, so if
we start with this, I will say I'm Edward October.
The sound you here is a dinner party at a
The sound you here is a dinner The sound you

(01:09:50):
here is a dinner party at one of the sound
you here is a dinner party at one of London's
plushier night spots. The sound you hear is a dinner
party being held at being held at one of London's

(01:10:10):
most exclusive restaurants. This is the start of all. This
is the start of October Pod. I'm Edwind October. The
sound you hear is a dinner party at one of
London's most fashionable at one of London's most fashionable restaurants.

(01:10:36):
This is the start of October Pod. Here's an anecdote
for the outtakes. If you've listened to our bedtime stories
for Halloween episode, you'll know that I used to tell
my kid bedtime stories each night. When I ran out
of or got bored of the Three Little Pigs or

(01:10:57):
Goldenlocks in the Three Bears, I began telling him kid
friendly versions of my favorite movies and old time radio shows.
A favorite among these is Speciality of the House. Eddie
Junior and I enjoy watching James Bond together, so I
replaced the characters from the Price of Fear with James

(01:11:19):
Bond characters. Vincent Price became James Bond Pryce's friend in
the story, Harry Laffler was replaced by French secret agent
Renee Mathis, and for your eye's Only, villain Cristados replaced
Chef Spiro in the Price of Fear. The secret of
lamb Armistan is that it's made from the meat of

(01:11:41):
Chef Spiro's patrons, whom Spiro has been fattening up with
his cooking. But for my bedtime story version, the lamb
Armistan was cheap, expired, lowly cuts of meat, enhanced with
an experimental food add itive which Christados's employer, Evil Spy

(01:12:03):
Organization Specter, was planning on deploying to throw international food
industries into chaos. If you'd like to hear this or
any of my other bedtime stories on a future October
pod get. On social media, I'm most active on Twitter
and blue Sky, or in the comments on YouTube and

(01:12:26):
demand it.

Speaker 4 (01:12:30):
This one comes from Reddit user dw This once as
a teenager, I was friends. Oh god, okay, remember how
I was like, my brain will autocorrect. My brain did
not autocorrect that. I mean it did, but then I
saw that it said I was with friends. I'm ridiculous.

(01:12:53):
I'm not sending that. Maybe I am. Okay, let's try
this again. I guess that's a genuine blooper. For a blooper, Real.

Speaker 2 (01:13:05):
Xx snow red xx writes right, So what graveyard shift
in all night chip shops? So we were story to
this day is when this slag broke a boyfriend's and
in the bathroom door. We didn't know what happened till
the fibrigang came and told us there weren't no fingers
lying about in the bathroom or anything. She'll good to
go clean up now, mate, excuse me. So that was

(01:13:27):
a fun night. I had to repaint the bathroom. But
I will give me respects to broth because when we
boss watched on the cameras. He said he ain't hear
no screaming, bloody murder or nothing. Just the bashing, that's all.

Speaker 4 (01:13:38):
And it happened to be some of the worst writing
I've read. I still think it should be ever read.

Speaker 2 (01:13:45):
I used to work at a truck stop that was
haunted by something that fancied fancied itself a trickster. Fuck
that line.

Speaker 4 (01:13:58):
So for two reasons, one reflection and two. My dog
barked in the middle of the end there, I'm going
to start from the middle. Over on my way towards
the bathroom, I felt what seemed like someone sticking their
foot out and trying to trip me. The thing is,
no one was near me, customers or employees, and nothing

(01:14:22):
at all on the floor or anything. Wasn't until a
few years later I was reading a Ghosts of Virginia
book and the tavern was in there. Apparently they claim
it's the spirit of a man who hates women and
likes to trip them. I wonder should I be like

(01:14:44):
reading these as characters. Hmm, well, just well, we'll see
how this goes to the next one.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
This one comes from Reddit user four four four four
forty four Brie. We're attached to a convenience store and
have a heavy sliding metal gate. One night, it just
slowly came down out of nowhere. As I said, it's heavy,
and it came down in literal slow motion on its own.

(01:15:19):
After those two events, I was pretty convinced we had
a ghost. After that event, I was pretty After that,
I was pretty convinced we had a ghost. But this
sealed the frickin' deal. I was serving a teenage couple

(01:15:41):
when they called me over and asked me if we
had a ghost at the restaurant. The girl was mortified
and the boy thought it was hilarious. A cupful of
liquid slid across the table. I confirmed this, and i've
personally the girl was playing freaked out, telling me to stop. Meanwhile,

(01:16:08):
the girl was playing freaked out. The girl was playing
freaked out, thinking I was playing a prank on her
and telling me to stop. Meanwhile, her boyfriend was in stitches.
There was a manager before I worked there that unfortunately
passed away in his thirties, as well as a little
girl sadly overdosing on her parents' drugs in the parking

(01:16:32):
lot while they slept a few years ago. Not sure
mess not sure, who's messing with us, but it seems
like they're a silly little guy. Fuck that whole story
and ditch that story.

Speaker 4 (01:16:49):
Never once did I tell him my schedule. He would
just drive by and see my car. Let's do that again,
because that's real fucking creepy.

Speaker 2 (01:17:01):
Oh my boss used to work at a restaurant that
used to be the power station that used to be
both the power station and morgue for e vent I
fuck it scratched the whole thing and no one was there.
Is the last of this story.

Speaker 4 (01:17:20):
Well screw you, asshole. Like those heels were nice, You're
lucky you didn't scuff them. I'm sorry I could not mit.

Speaker 2 (01:17:28):
Okay, one time the waitress and one time the waitress
and I grabbed our meal from the kitchen and went
to go sit behind the waitress salon, behind the waitress
what's the waitress salon?

Speaker 4 (01:17:47):
The other one that I thought would be good as
a Valley Girl reader, But at the same time, I'm
fully aware that this is me readings, so you know,
use whatever you want. I just felt like maybe it
would be fun to sit up for you. Here's one
from Reddit user no underscore joggerna seven I think that's

(01:18:10):
supposed to be Joggernaut, but the t is a.

Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
Seven intermission Aspect and Other Delights, Aspic and other Delights
and interview with Hannah from cooking the books.

Speaker 4 (01:18:24):
Okay, so like full disclosure, if you like me reading
them in that weird little Valley Girl anything. It's not
quite Valley Girl, but it's like spoiled brat girl, right,
she goes tanning a lot. You can tell anyway. I
can do the other ones in that little voice, but
those two stories specifically really said that voice to me,
which again I realize this is me reading is me,
so we don't have to do the voices. But if

(01:18:44):
you like that, I'll probably have time this week to
do the other stories this way. So I'm just gonna
end this one here and go back to reading the
remainder remainder of the stories. Oh but also full disclosure.
Super creepy. That whole thing where people like purposefully touch you,
It goes both ways. When I was actually pregnant with
my middle daughter, this guy at Fazoli's used to like

(01:19:05):
like put his hand over the top of my hand
as he took my cash out of my hand. When
I would go get lunch there because my office Max
that I worked at shared a parking lot with that Fazzoles,
and like, this kid was like younger than me, and
I don't know if he was into pregnant girls or what,
but it was fucking weird. And I stopped getting Fizzoli's
after that, and my poor kid just had to eat like, uh,

(01:19:26):
Michelina's frozen meals. I mean, like while she was in set.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
Yeah, anyway, yeah, is interrogating Norman Bates played by Vincent
play by Vincent Price. That'd have been a movie.

Speaker 4 (01:19:40):
I work at an ice cream place, and getting creepy
customers is very typical. I've become let's try it again.
I've begun describing ice cream places as peto hooters, as
old men flocked to them to ogle young teenage girls.

(01:20:00):
And if you look at the uniforms at different ice
cream places, oftentimes a T shirt and short shorts. Sometimes
management even leans into it. My friend worked at an
ice cream place they were required to wear shorts at
instead of pants, and it's because at least a quarter
of customers come for the staff more than the ice cream.

(01:20:24):
My young, busty coworker makes like twenty five an hour
with tips, but is constantly harassed and oggled. We each
have our own resonant weirdos who come specifically for us
and trade their dollar tip so they can be attended
to buy us and interact with us. I don't know

(01:20:47):
how many people have told that one coworker they can
smell her and she doesn't smell scented. They're just being creepy,
and the expectation here is to generally tolerate it. When
I worked in fast coffee but without a drive through,
it could be similar. There were regulars that very much

(01:21:09):
were coming for the lip service and the fact that
my manager was willing to play along with their quote
unquote flirting. Ugh. Whenever some old man needs to touch
my hand in the middle of paying, I get so
grossed out. That would happen at the bakery I worked at, too.

(01:21:33):
Some people like make you touch hands with them instead
of just paying and taking the change. Specific creeps of history.
Once I had a guy I literally didn't recognize, apparently
a regular, but I was just back from college and
didn't recognize him. He followed me into the parking lot

(01:21:55):
during my break, apparently remembering me, and tell me where
I'd been and if I was hiding from him, genuinely
I didn't recognize him, and from genuinely I didn't recognize
him from before that morning's interaction and was super confused

(01:22:16):
and uncomfortable. He said, no matter, he still wanted me
to read his work, and he handed me a tiny
home printed book of his poetry. And he handed me
a tiny home printed book of his poetry. Ironically, I

(01:22:38):
was an English and psych major, and it happened to
be some of the worst writing I've ever read. Never
saw him again, and still have that little book somewhere. Okay,
so I'm gonna do two of these in what I
hope is Vale Girl. Actually you know what, I'm gonna

(01:22:59):
work on my Valey Girl while this is not recording.
And then yeah, so I got more recordings coming for you.
Don't worry.

Speaker 2 (01:23:09):
Now Here is an intermission alternate altro. The waiter is
coming around to take your dessert orders. Now, why not
order a slice of cheesecake and a cappuccino because Act
too of our Culinary cleap Why not order a slice

(01:23:29):
of cheesecake and a cappuccino because Act two of our
Culinary creep show starts now?

Speaker 4 (01:23:40):
Don dun that shit sounds. Also, how the fun can
you not get a restraining order against someone who's harassing
you if you were never in a relationship with them, Like,
that's stupid. I think those cops lied to her. AnyWho, Okay,
I am ready for like being my little valley girl self.
My dad hated it when I talk this way. He

(01:24:00):
very much tried to like make sure I stopped saying
like and like, let me tell you that didn't work.
This one comes from Reddit user d w. This once
as a teenager, I was friends. God, what is with
that line? I can't do it? What the fuck? Sorry?

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Ed?

Speaker 4 (01:24:25):
This one comes from Reddit user d.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
W This maybe maybe a explosion pop sound effect?

Speaker 4 (01:24:43):
And I guess this is why the IRS tells you
to keep records of shit for seven years, right, I
mean just saying anyway, thank you, Ed for letting me
help you out. I hope you like it. Happy hauntings,
October pod.

Speaker 8 (01:24:58):
That's good.

Speaker 10 (01:25:11):
Exactly with.

Speaker 8 (01:25:18):
Whatever?

Speaker 10 (01:25:40):
Really good than.

Speaker 14 (01:25:58):
That one.

Speaker 3 (01:26:20):
Of them?

Speaker 15 (01:26:21):
Whatever I don't like.

Speaker 10 (01:26:44):
It's a good.

Speaker 16 (01:27:03):
That I believe, believe.

Speaker 10 (01:27:34):
Exactly said.

Speaker 8 (01:27:57):
Whatever cool?

Speaker 16 (01:28:10):
Good than.

Speaker 14 (01:28:21):
That one.

Speaker 8 (01:28:38):
That them? Whatever?

Speaker 10 (01:29:06):
I like? Yad's a good design.

Speaker 16 (01:29:26):
Think of that I

Speaker 10 (01:29:38):
Believe

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