August 19, 2025 • 31 mins
https://www.solgoodmedia.com Listen to hundreds of audiobooks, thousands of short stories, and ambient sounds all ad free! 'Old Time Comedy' brings you the laughter and joy of classic comedy sketches and routines from the early 20th century. Dive into the golden era where comedy was king, featuring timeless performances that continue to echo through the ages. Perfect for comedy enthusiasts and history buffs alike!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Is today's suffering of fate worse than death. He is
in Hollywood to make a movie, even though he has
already sunk to such depths as radio. He is Uncle
good Heart, hero of an afternoon program. The magnificent Montague
feels that by merely being in Hollywood he has deserted
the theater and sold his soul to the devil. Not
even the fact that the picture he is going to
(00:23):
make is Shakespeare's Macbeth can soothe his guilty and tortured mind.
It is morning in the little bungalow the Montagu's have
rented in Beverly Hills. Lily, his wife and one time
leading lady, and Agnes the Maid are up preparing for
the great man's first day at the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Peggoty Easy, Peggotty Easy, the Hollywood residents of Edwin Montague
and Lily Bowam of East sixty first Street, New York.
Agnes the Maid on this in what do you want.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
O?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Empire Studios?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Now?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Montague ain't up yet. Huh? You want me to wake
him up at seven in the morning?
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Are you a kidding?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm too young to die? Does he like California? He's
nuts about it. He hides under the bed old until
the sun goes down. Then he gets up, screams, and
goes back under the bed.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Mm okay, who is that, Agnes.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
The studio they say, your husband's still for his makeup
and test. At eight o'clock. They're sending a car for him.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh, I hope he gets there this time. He's been
stoleing them off for all week. Oh, Edwin is so miserable.
He certainly is now, Agnes. They talked to me to
doing the picture, and he feels he's committing treason to
the New York Stay that Ham, Agnes, Remember he's my husband.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, mister Ham.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Please, we must help him through this mental crisis. Edwin's
never forgiven the movies. He thinks. When they came in
it was goodbye theater, and here he is making a movie.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Goodbye movies.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Edwin will be wonderful in the movies. Why do you
think the picture companies were so anxious to sign him.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Because they're Baxter to the wall that they go out
in mouth of his the only voice left in the
country that can be heard in the movie theaters above
the crackling of the popcorn.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh no, Agnes, think what can we do to make
Edwin happy here in Hollywood?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I know, let's sneak out tonight and burn the city
to the ground.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Agnes, DearS, if I tell you something, will you promise
on your honor never to breathe the word but to Edwin.
If he finds out, he'll be furious.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
What is it, Honey?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I like Hollywood, so do I.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's sunshine every afternoon. I plunk the carcass down on
the patio and let it splash all over me. I
tell you, if you close your eyes, it's kind to
believe you're not at Coney Island.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
And imagine having a little garden. Everything grows so first
out of here.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I mean, that's what's bothering mindagu He's afraid his beard
will start bearing fruit.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Stop being skidding.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
And Shelley night. I want to put a smudge pot.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Under it now, please, Agnes, don't mention his beard. Has
he had enough trouble out here with everybody mistaking him
for Gabby Hayes.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Poor Gabby, Poor Gabby.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I wonder when Edward.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Edwards up every morning the same thing, He opens his
eyes and then he realizes he's in How I would.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
You better get him his breakfast. The studio car will
be here for him.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
Hurry.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
He's doing his morning vocal exercises already, the voice of
the turtle.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Good, good morning.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Gabby.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Down down, be good.
Speaker 7 (03:58):
I'll go out in the backyard ing up all those
bones you buryed.
Speaker 8 (04:05):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
Isn't it a lovely morning? The sun is shining, the
birds are singing.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
My nerve and my nerves are screaming, Edward.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Look out of the window. It's midwinter, and the flowers
are in bloom. A warm breeze is blowing. The trees
are waving.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Aye.
Speaker 7 (04:19):
Yes, all it just seems to have blended into one
glorious symphony. And he's whispering to me, Hey, stupid, what
are you doing out here? Get back to New York
Boy in the Golden West, Agnes, Why don't you go
down to the railroad station and meet a train head on?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Edwin? Be fair about California. See how beautiful Hollywood looks,
nestling at the foot of those purple mountains. All for
a camera, oh for an.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Avalanche, Edwin?
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Be reasonable, not try and enjoy yourself, Lily.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
I'm I had been for the first time since I
came to this land as a nutburger.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I'm happy you.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Are as I reached the decision, Lily, I'm not going
to make that movie.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
We're going back to New York, Edwin, we can't.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Go back yet. I'm only ten on one side, my dear.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I will consider it a personal pleasure to be allowed.
Can your other's side.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
When you're not serious, Lily.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
I can't do it.
Speaker 7 (05:31):
I can't be a part of this, saiduloid siren that
has lured the public away.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
From the theater of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
Abbott and Costello have taken the place of Romeo.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
And Juliet when they're counting on.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Nov the voice of aboudy you that hascd in so
many theaters, the golden lines of Shakespeare.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
To be or not to be? That is the question.
Will never be able to say he went that away?
Speaker 9 (05:57):
But edwhen they're doing Shakespeare's Macbeth Win Montague and Macbeth
with free dishes, No, Edwin from man whose uncle Goodhart
on the radio five times a week.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
At least nobody knows it's me.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
But the studio is giving you a new name.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I know, Raoul randol Oh. No, I won't make that picture.
I want to get back to New York with clean hands.
Speaker 7 (06:19):
I want once again to stand shoulder and shoulder with
my fellow actress of the theater who haven't visited the
stage for Hollywood Gold. I want to join their ranks again.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And the Unemployment Insurance office all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Right, like this, back into your bottle of alcohol.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Ed When you have to make that picture, you signed
a contract.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Never let them assume me. Let them take all my
wildly possessions.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Some possessions, a bust of Shakespeare and a pair of
ton tights, Magnus.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
I've always meant to ask you, who do you go
to to have your head shrunk?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
No, Edwin, sensible. They're going to make you a big star.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Edwin, Montague and Hollywood. This is the end of bella logosi.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Please keep your mouth closed.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
And they have enough canyons out here.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
When you sign a contract and you're going.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Through with it, Montague, Montague, what are they doing to you?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
They're like vultures descending on a dead horse.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
A dead horse that reminds me breakfast is ready.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
It's game time.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Here's where I play Hide and go seek with Tomaine.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
The studio is sending a limousine, and don't forget you
have your uncle good heart broadcast this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
The movies and radio all in one day.
Speaker 7 (07:47):
Oh, the rogue and peasants slay on. I take the
mirrors of the house today. I can't look at myself,
lucky you, Agnes, my dove. Why don't you you go out,
find yourself a nice young man and work out a
suicide pack?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Edwin, get ready, I can't face it alone.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I want you to come with me.
Speaker 9 (08:10):
Oh, I can, ed when I want to do some gardening.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Her husband's poor body is being broken.
Speaker 7 (08:17):
On the rack and she is planting petunias.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
They wears your hunt.
Speaker 6 (08:21):
Oh please when rather not thea.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
I understand you, who have remained true to this theater.
You have refused.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
Hollywood offer so many times in our long career. You
can't bear to see my vile degradation, your once proud husband,
a movie actor, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Do they please come with me?
Speaker 5 (08:41):
All right, Edwin?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I will take my autograph book you Mike Ben into
Luise for Zender.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Oh there's a cop from the studio.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
The tumbrel is hears take me to the guillotine.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Come, Edwin?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
By this so long, honey, goodbye, goodbye, Raoul.
Speaker 10 (09:09):
Well, well, well, Raoul Randolph, you're here, welcome to Empire Pictures.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I'm speedcockman of publicity.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
This is my wife.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I'm god to know you, missus Randolph.
Speaker 10 (09:17):
Well, I'm not mister Styles, mister big himself.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
He wants me to bring you right in to see him.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
This way you go in. I'll wait here, Edward, right
this way, we'll barge ride in.
Speaker 10 (09:27):
Well Styles, ha, hi he how do you do?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Row? Baby?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You got here?
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Row?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Mister? My name is Edward Montague.
Speaker 7 (09:39):
It is a name that he still remembered and revered
by thousands of theater goers.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I would appreciate it.
Speaker 10 (09:45):
Sure, anything you say, Raoul. Remember I'm behind you. You're
my baby. We're going all out on you. You're gonna
be a big star. You've got Empire behind you, baby.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Sound good to you, sweetheart. Mister Tetton.
Speaker 7 (09:58):
From your conversation, I don't though whether you're planning to
make a picture with me or take me to Diagona
of Paul.
Speaker 10 (10:09):
How did you get that speed Hiagara of Paul?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Hold it in the head of Happer.
Speaker 10 (10:15):
Now look, Raoul, baby, I want you and Steve to
get together out of the publicity build up.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Hever have you named in the papers?
Speaker 7 (10:21):
For the last twenty five years, my name has been
a byword in the drama sections of the New York Press.
Speaker 10 (10:27):
Oh local staff, Speed here is going to make the
name of Raoul rand Now a household word.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
We'll make him forget does take over?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Speed?
Speaker 10 (10:36):
Well, we got to get an angle, see an angle.
Of course you are a little older, and we talked.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I have aged considerable. It's entering this room.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
I got it.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
I got it.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
Raoul Randol older than Pienza, but.
Speaker 10 (10:50):
He's still got that springtime.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
In his heart.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Great, great, great, that's it. Put that on the teletype
Russia right over to Loela.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Luela, who? Luela?
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Who?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Look?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Baby, don't even say that in the joke around?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Oh what I said?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Are you married?
Speaker 10 (11:15):
Raoul?
Speaker 7 (11:15):
That was my wife I introduced you to. She happens
to be the famous lily boy of the New York State.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
You married?
Speaker 10 (11:21):
Uh where we'll hush it up, hush it up, sure, baby,
We got to make the housewives feed your available.
Speaker 7 (11:28):
Look, sweetheart, is this emotion picture studio? Are Lonely Hearts Club?
Lonely Hearts Club?
Speaker 10 (11:39):
Speed punched that up a little and shoot at the
wind show. You might blow it up in a whole column.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Things I never know until now about Raoul. Right now,
we gotta get.
Speaker 10 (11:46):
A romantic angle.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
I got it, I got it.
Speaker 10 (11:50):
We'll cook up a hot romance between you and marjor remain,
me and marj Remain.
Speaker 7 (11:57):
I'm dying to see the stove that's going to be
cooked up on How we gotta.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Get moving on some pictures. See did you did you
bring your baby suits with you?
Speaker 4 (12:07):
My bathing suit?
Speaker 11 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (12:08):
Yeah, I'll take you out on the back lap for
some stills for the fan magazines. You know, human trust stuff,
chasing some bathing beauties around the pool, maybe one of
them trick pictures. Your head on a girl's body shows
you're human, not one of them stuffy, hybrow actors. We
want to get you down to the public level.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Down. I'm practically dragging my dear speed. If any picture
of Beederbore bathing suit.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Or my head on a girl's body appears to daily paper,
I show you the next edition of that paper will
feature a picture of your head on a spike over
the main gate of Empire Studios.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
And it won't be strict photography.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
No no, wait a minute, sweetheart.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
You listen to me, baby, I came out here to
appear in Shakespeare's Ebottle Macbeth. I only consider to do
it in order to protect Macbeth from being played by
red Skins.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Hilton. I think you will have all the dignity of
you here.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
At the zero Rah, Well, Raoul, what do.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You think we are barbarians? This is a prestige picture
for us.
Speaker 10 (13:11):
Why I've had writers on that script for six months,
punching up the lines, polishing the.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Dialogue, polishing Shakespeare's dialog, punching up the line.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh, Shakespeare in your immortal grave. I can hear you.
Speaker 10 (13:27):
Spinning now, Raoul, you're unhappy, sweetheart.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Look you're the boss. Just tell us what you want.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
You're my baby, now are you happy? Yes, daddy, this
is the adull.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Welcome on. Let's get going with the test.
Speaker 10 (13:47):
Yeah, we gotta get you in front of a camera.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
See what kind of makeup to you?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Is how you look? We got to find out.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
You know, from certain angles you can look twenty years younger,
making sure who knows that a little luck.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
We might have another George Raft and.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
I George raph by bo Boyhood.
Speaker 10 (14:03):
Idol come on, come on, let's get going. This test
is gonna be great. You'll be wonderful.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
And of course I have a little unfamiliar with the technique.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Oh you'll be in great hands. We have mister Mayllard Pitch,
best dramatic teacher.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
In Hollywood, grammatic teacher.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, this way Maylard's waiting on the sound stage.
Speaker 7 (14:20):
Through here a dramatic teacher. Mister Fenton, I'm I'm Sarry
a baby. I hope you acquitted the fact that I've
spent twenty five years in the country's leading Shakespeare director.
Speaker 10 (14:32):
Just leave everything to Maylar through this start, Okay, mister Pitch,
he can go ahead.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
He's here. Hell, I'm mister fan.
Speaker 7 (14:39):
And this is Ray Rando.
Speaker 10 (14:43):
The name is rom Okay, sweetheart hit rolling out of
that screen test, and I want to see this by
this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (14:50):
Well, now, any acting experience, mister Rando a little. I
understand the lead in your high school play pta minstrel
goes that sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
Well, I'll be frank with you, mister Randolph. This thing
they're putting you in.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
The back bear magbet of God. Yes, indeed, that's right.
It's by Shakespeare. Very difficult, and I won't.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Be able to do a thing for you unless I
have your absolute attention and you, mister Fitch, please don't interrupt.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
We have so much.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
Spade work to do, mister Fitch.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
I don't want to lead you on, but obviously they
haven't told you.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
I am Edwin Montague.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
Who Edwin or, as certain critics insisted on labeling me,
the Magnificent Montague.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Yes, well that's all very interesting, mister Randolph, but we
have much too much to get done before I can
possibly release you as an actor.
Speaker 7 (15:48):
You will release me as an actor, mister Fitch. You
are a follower of the drama. The name of Edwin
Montague means nothing to you, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 8 (15:58):
But of course I'm not judge, mister Randolph. I haven't
been in touch with.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
The little theater movement in years.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
More interested in professional actress.
Speaker 8 (16:08):
Now, well, shall we get on with it?
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Let me hear your voice.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
I want to see if there's anything to start with.
Speaker 6 (16:17):
Now, say how now, brown Cow?
Speaker 8 (16:21):
You see I want resonance, but I'll explain to you
what residents mean later.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
Just now, how now, brown Cow?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And don't be nervous.
Speaker 6 (16:31):
I won't bite you.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Shall we.
Speaker 11 (16:36):
How no brow cow again you are a stupid a jazz.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
Mister Randolph.
Speaker 8 (16:55):
As long as you continue these schoolboy pranks, I cannot
help you on the rocky road to being an actor.
Speaker 7 (17:02):
You as low and disimble, as special of humanity as
I never seen outside of a snake pit.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
You are going to make me an actor, mister Randolph.
Speaker 8 (17:10):
It is not my practice to impress students with my
theatrical background. I find many times that it over osdom.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
But in your case, may I.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Acquaint you with the fact that, prior to coming to
the studio I had spent three solid years with a
Pasadena community playhouse.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Rarely, and before.
Speaker 8 (17:34):
That I was senior to matter coach at Hollywood High.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
Oh, Master, I will never doubt you again, I should
think not.
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Now we have to make the test. I have selected
the scene from Macbeth. You see, it's Macbeth with Lady Macbeth.
Now where Macbeth had just murdered the king and his
conscience starts bothering him.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Now you see in this scene.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Missinks, I heard of voice cry sleep no more Macbeth.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
No, no, no, raw no no no this way, methinks
I heard a voice cry sleep no more.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
That's exactly it. You got it.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
Now, let's do the test and get it over with.
Get the cameras ready, lights, We're ready.
Speaker 7 (18:26):
Mister Randolph, I shall take lady.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Oh no, you will do you? Where's them? Where's the door? Raoul? Lily, Lily?
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Will you please step into the studio? Lily and my lady?
Speaker 7 (18:38):
Back there a lily boy, but who happens to have
played the role opposite to me for two solid years
the Blaskof.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
On Broadway, where we set a new record.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
To the wild a claim.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
Of all the new of your critics. What is it
they were doing the middle scene? I too seem to Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
No, Evan, please don't ask Day.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
I know how stream strongly you feel about movies, but
this is just test. You must do it for me,
all right, all right on your toes. This is an event.
We who have performed Macbeth before the most critical audiences
in the world, must today rise to new and glorious heights.
Todayly we are performing perform mister Maylard Pitch of the
(19:20):
Pasady Community Playouse and Hollywood high the camera roll, mister,
we are ready, very well.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Here are the scripts, scripts.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
Of parts on your scripts, do I, Edwin Montague, who
spent twenty five years steep to the immortal Macbeth, need.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
A script, take it away, get ready to roll.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
We'll take it right after where I Macbeth have killed
the game and come to you, conscience stricken, are ready,
cameras roll them.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Go ahead, lily, These deeds must not.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
These deeds must not be thought after these ways, so
it will make us mad.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
With hot I heard a voice cry, sleep no more.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
Macbeth does kill step murder, sleep a murder asleep sleep
and ravels up, the knitted sleep up and knits up
the ravel's sleeve of Woa of care, of care, the
life of each day's death, the death of each day's look,
death of each day's life.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
That's it, mister Randolph.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Thank you, And he wanted me to use a script.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I'll wait for you out in the hall.
Speaker 7 (20:42):
Well, mister Millard Fitch, did that come up to the
high and lofty standards of drama of Hollywood?
Speaker 4 (20:47):
High?
Speaker 8 (20:47):
That was quite an interesting interpretation of Shakespeare. Mister Montague, however,
I personally know.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Well, Raoul baby, mister Fitz, show you how we do
things here.
Speaker 7 (21:00):
Oh yes, he gave me an excellent idea of how
you do things here.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
Good man, isn't he?
Speaker 4 (21:04):
He was with the Pasadena Community Playhouse.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
You know they had a fight like tigers to get him.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Who was after him?
Speaker 6 (21:11):
Compton Junior College?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Compton Junior College? Where's Speed?
Speaker 6 (21:18):
I'll have some tuning over the Cydny skolls Hereio.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Speed, Speed? You got the song right here? Styles and
that terrific good look Ralph sweetheart.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
The boys just came up with some terrific songs for
the picture. Want you to run through them?
Speaker 4 (21:30):
What?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Ted?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Do you sing it? Songs for the picture?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
But you can't do a musical without song.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Shakespeare's Macbeth, a musical in technicolor.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I told you we're.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Going all out get these songs. Wait till they hit
the jukeboxes. What's that one? Styles?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
The one I like from the battle seat.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Yeah, you mean I will not yield to kiss the
ground before young.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Malcolm's foot or my body? I throw my wall, I
chewed Macbell. That's it?
Speaker 10 (22:01):
Back d up back dup, isn't that yeah? On McDuff, Yeah,
that's it. Here's here's what you say here it speed.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
One Dantree and dum dum baby. I like your style, baby,
I like your stuff.
Speaker 10 (22:13):
But if you want that now for me, immack up, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
That's your right between the eyes. Didn't it roll?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Not quite there?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Or get this way?
Speaker 10 (22:27):
You know the whole play Mac that takes place in Scottland.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So I had been led to believe.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
It's it's that thing about burnham Wood, immortal line though
burnham Wood to become to Dunce and.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And the pole, and then I get this.
Speaker 10 (22:43):
You see it's a little Scotch number you in kilts
speed country, m dumb dumb, No burnham would come to
Dunceni in my last sea by my side.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
It's a bro bra.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
Stop stop, I know, I know, Row.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
You don't have to tell me. You want to know
if we.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Have a ballad for you?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yes, it's my ballad? Where's my ballad? Lit? Here's this?
That's be the dgacy you mean? Is this a dagger
that I see before me? The handle todd by hand
Let me clu, that's it.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
That's it.
Speaker 10 (23:16):
I'll get the picture you standing there with Lady Macbeth
and the Verandah in the moonlight, and then you sing
your ballad.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Take it speed turn to the dumb Is this to
Dago that I see before me?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Or visit you? O?
Speaker 10 (23:33):
Lady Lady Macbeth, come let me clutch you in my arm.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Oh stop stopping you gentlemen serious.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Surprised, aren't your sweetheart?
Speaker 10 (23:43):
Thought this was going to be just another one of those.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Little bee pictures.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
We're going all out for my baby.
Speaker 10 (23:49):
Now for the title of the picture, We're leaving it
all up to you.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
The title for Macbeth.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
Yeah, we boiled it down to two.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Do you like this one?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Lady Macbeth was a lady. Lady Macbeth a lady. Yeah,
personally I like it. It has dignity.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
But if you've got a dirty mind, you can make
your own meeting. Bye.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Let me throw this one at you.
Speaker 10 (24:10):
Lady Macbeth has her flee.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Lady Macbeth has her flee.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Yeah, you know Scotland Highland playing.
Speaker 10 (24:16):
That's do something I guess go over their heads across
that one outspeed.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
See how we do things out here? And God something
bothering your baby?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
Oh no, no, I'm fast to go on or wait,
will we check you out in that costume that Texas
Ranger outfit Texas Ranger in Scotland Yeah. You see in
the first ree of you and Lady Macbeth, we're getting.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
Esther Williams, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
Now, the both of you come over to America fleeing
from persecution by the tzar. Yeah, you go s to
the covered wagon, a couple of Indian fights, never misses,
and check the color.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
You hit Dodge City and you stick out a ranch.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Then along comes McDuff, a cattle rustler.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (25:00):
You and Lady Macbeth are tapped by him in the
middle of the desert. And then then comes the climax.
Lady Macbeth swims for help.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, in the desert. How else she gonna.
Speaker 10 (25:11):
Get Esther Williams in a baby? So get with it, sweetheart,
and with it. Well, that's what I'm planning to do.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Baby, that's feed. That's it.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Good.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Now, may I acquaint you with my plan? Shoot, that, sir,
is just what I'm intending to do. I shall get
into my Texas Ranger outfit, pull out my trustees section
and shoot you both squarely between the eyes.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
At my own expense.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
I will order a tombstone for both of you, and
we'll simply say here lies sweetheart and baby.
Speaker 10 (25:47):
Now law wait don't rowl me Macbeth in technicolor charm.
Speaker 7 (25:53):
It'll be beautiful, beautiful, My dear friends, My father from
New York overlooks the East River. Every afternoon of garbage
scowl passes my window. I assure you that garbage scowl
will look like Cleopatra's barge compared to this picture you
are planning.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Randow, This picture will make you.
Speaker 6 (26:11):
It has already made me sick Hill.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
How do you think my any stretch of your emergies
that Iwin Montagu will be a part of this technically
turkey you're planning to foist on the already punch drunk
movie public. But Raoul, quiet, I refuse to be a
party to this Hollywood horse opera you.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Are going to put out as bacbear.
Speaker 10 (26:33):
All right, we can change it to a prison picture. Hey, speed,
shoot that to Lluella Speed.
Speaker 7 (26:38):
Here's another piece of Hollywood chip chap for Luella. Raoul
Randolph alias Edwin Montague.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Is not going to make what picture for what.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Studio unless it is done exactly as Shakespeare wrote it.
Speaker 10 (26:52):
As Shakespeare wrote it, I'd never heard of such a thing.
Listen to reason, sweet Shakespeare wrote it. Oh no, oh,
will be the laughing stock of Hollywood.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
It'll lose a million dollars.
Speaker 10 (27:03):
You have a contract, as Shakespeare said, So what are
those your last words?
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Exactly?
Speaker 10 (27:09):
You asked for a drown Raoul ran out by the
power vested in me by Empire Studios.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
You are here by suspended.
Speaker 10 (27:18):
No, no, styles, No, you can't do that to a
human being.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I'm suspended by Empire Studio.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
It's a living death. You know what this means.
Speaker 10 (27:25):
You cannot work for another studio until we lift the suspension.
Speaker 7 (27:29):
You mean I can't even hand Doctor Kildare a scalpel. No,
they can't even use my voice in a cartoon. No,
I can't even tune Jean Autrey's guitar. No, in other worlds,
you will see to it that I can never work
in Hollywood again. Exact turtle, and you have made me
the happiest man in the world. He side, where side Hell, Lily,
(28:00):
I've got both shirts all back the New York Here
we come, Edward.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
This is ridiculous. We came three thousand miles from now.
We're going back.
Speaker 7 (28:08):
But I go back and hon his fam with clean hands.
I have refused to start.
Speaker 6 (28:13):
I have refused to just spoiled my beloved shakespy ed.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Maybe they listen to reason, this is.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
A fine how do you do here? I am going
back to New York without a tan. My friends are
gonna think I spent the winter in a newsreel theater.
Speaker 7 (28:28):
I guess the minute I'm on the train for New York,
you may bask in the sunshine.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Of my smile.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
The sunshine and you smile. That'll be a day. Here
are your Hollywood sports shirts, slacks and moccasin's. Well, I
put them in.
Speaker 7 (28:41):
The insinerator, burned them all the way as the station.
I will fling the ash into the lobby of Crahman's
to the honeys.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
Hate to leave, my little god. I was just planning
my geranium lily.
Speaker 7 (28:54):
When we get back to New York, knowing, dear ag
this is house kidding, there will be dirting to plant
them in my den.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
We've readed this house for months.
Speaker 7 (29:05):
The landlord can use the money to finally put a
roof of that a living.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Room, Edwin, I keep telling you that's the patio.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Who cares we're going back.
Speaker 7 (29:14):
He's side well side, I come in, roll, baby, you're
still here.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
We got here in time.
Speaker 7 (29:23):
Gentlemen, don't tell me you came all the way here
to tell me that you have a new jump tune.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Called Stompin' with Macbeth.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Mister rand Alp, I come with great news. Tell them,
tell him rand Out, brace yourself.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Here it come.
Speaker 10 (29:36):
The suspension has been lifted. Oh no, you can't do
that to me.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Were fools, Raul.
Speaker 10 (29:41):
We hadn't seen that screen test you made with your
wife with my wife.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
It's dynamite. We want you two together. Ha, what a team.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
We are not going to do that song and dance
version of Macbeth.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
What Macbeth?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
You were right on that, We're not doing it. You're no,
We've got something greater than Macbeth.
Speaker 10 (29:56):
We have plans for you and your wife. It will
make you the greatest acting team in history.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Edwin Lily acting together again.
Speaker 10 (30:02):
I'm so excited, I can't see straight. Our studio has
a million dollar property. For twenty years, we've been trying
to get the perfect couple for it.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
You're it to a tee. They're perfect.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
What is it? Romeo and Juliet?
Speaker 10 (30:13):
Bigger than that, Caesar and clearbarton't make me laugh.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
It's bigger than that. Wait till this announcement hit the world.
Speaker 10 (30:20):
Empire Pictures proudly presents history and missus Edwin Montague in
What Is It? Jigs and Maggie.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Join us again next Friday night at the same time
for another visit with The Magnificent Montague, starring Marty Woolley,
created and directed by Natt Hiken, written by Nat Hiken
and Billy Friedberg, and Seymour was Lily Pert. Kelton was Agnes.
Included in tonight's cast were Alan Reed as styles Feton,
Wally Mayer as Speed, and Jim Bachis as Mayllard Fitch.
(31:00):
This is Eddie King, saying stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern,
which follows immediately.
Speaker 10 (31:06):
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company Boom
Is today's suffering of fate worse than death. He is
in Hollywood to make a movie, even though he has
already sunk to such depths as radio. He is Uncle
good Heart, hero of an afternoon program. The magnificent Montague
feels that by merely being in Hollywood he has deserted
the theater and sold his soul to the devil. Not
even the fact that the picture he is going to
(00:23):
make is Shakespeare's Macbeth can soothe his guilty and tortured mind.
It is morning in the little bungalow the Montagu's have
rented in Beverly Hills. Lily, his wife and one time
leading lady, and Agnes the Maid are up preparing for
the great man's first day at the studio.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Peggoty Easy, Peggotty Easy, the Hollywood residents of Edwin Montague
and Lily Bowam of East sixty first Street, New York.
Agnes the Maid on this in what do you want.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
O?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Empire Studios?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Now?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Montague ain't up yet. Huh? You want me to wake
him up at seven in the morning?
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Are you a kidding?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm too young to die? Does he like California? He's
nuts about it. He hides under the bed old until
the sun goes down. Then he gets up, screams, and
goes back under the bed.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Mm okay, who is that, Agnes.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
The studio they say, your husband's still for his makeup
and test. At eight o'clock. They're sending a car for him.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh, I hope he gets there this time. He's been
stoleing them off for all week. Oh, Edwin is so miserable.
He certainly is now, Agnes. They talked to me to
doing the picture, and he feels he's committing treason to
the New York Stay that Ham, Agnes, Remember he's my husband.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, mister Ham.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
Please, we must help him through this mental crisis. Edwin's
never forgiven the movies. He thinks. When they came in
it was goodbye theater, and here he is making a movie.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Goodbye movies.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
Edwin will be wonderful in the movies. Why do you
think the picture companies were so anxious to sign him.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Because they're Baxter to the wall that they go out
in mouth of his the only voice left in the
country that can be heard in the movie theaters above
the crackling of the popcorn.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh no, Agnes, think what can we do to make
Edwin happy here in Hollywood?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I know, let's sneak out tonight and burn the city
to the ground.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Agnes, DearS, if I tell you something, will you promise
on your honor never to breathe the word but to Edwin.
If he finds out, he'll be furious.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
What is it, Honey?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
I like Hollywood, so do I.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's sunshine every afternoon. I plunk the carcass down on
the patio and let it splash all over me. I
tell you, if you close your eyes, it's kind to
believe you're not at Coney Island.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
And imagine having a little garden. Everything grows so first
out of here.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I mean, that's what's bothering mindagu He's afraid his beard
will start bearing fruit.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Stop being skidding.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
And Shelley night. I want to put a smudge pot.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Under it now, please, Agnes, don't mention his beard. Has
he had enough trouble out here with everybody mistaking him
for Gabby Hayes.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Poor Gabby, Poor Gabby.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I wonder when Edward.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Edwards up every morning the same thing, He opens his
eyes and then he realizes he's in How I would.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
You better get him his breakfast. The studio car will
be here for him.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
Hurry.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
He's doing his morning vocal exercises already, the voice of
the turtle.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Good, good morning.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
Gabby.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Down down, be good.
Speaker 7 (03:58):
I'll go out in the backyard ing up all those
bones you buryed.
Speaker 8 (04:05):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
Isn't it a lovely morning? The sun is shining, the
birds are singing.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
My nerve and my nerves are screaming, Edward.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Look out of the window. It's midwinter, and the flowers
are in bloom. A warm breeze is blowing. The trees
are waving.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Aye.
Speaker 7 (04:19):
Yes, all it just seems to have blended into one
glorious symphony. And he's whispering to me, Hey, stupid, what
are you doing out here? Get back to New York
Boy in the Golden West, Agnes, Why don't you go
down to the railroad station and meet a train head on?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Edwin? Be fair about California. See how beautiful Hollywood looks,
nestling at the foot of those purple mountains. All for
a camera, oh for an.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Avalanche, Edwin?
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Be reasonable, not try and enjoy yourself, Lily.
Speaker 7 (04:59):
I'm I had been for the first time since I
came to this land as a nutburger.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
I'm happy you.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
Are as I reached the decision, Lily, I'm not going
to make that movie.
Speaker 4 (05:11):
We're going back to New York, Edwin, we can't.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Go back yet. I'm only ten on one side, my dear.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
I will consider it a personal pleasure to be allowed.
Can your other's side.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
When you're not serious, Lily.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
I can't do it.
Speaker 7 (05:31):
I can't be a part of this, saiduloid siren that
has lured the public away.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
From the theater of Shakespeare.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
Abbott and Costello have taken the place of Romeo.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
And Juliet when they're counting on.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Nov the voice of aboudy you that hascd in so
many theaters, the golden lines of Shakespeare.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
To be or not to be? That is the question.
Will never be able to say he went that away?
Speaker 9 (05:57):
But edwhen they're doing Shakespeare's Macbeth Win Montague and Macbeth
with free dishes, No, Edwin from man whose uncle Goodhart
on the radio five times a week.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
At least nobody knows it's me.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
But the studio is giving you a new name.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I know, Raoul randol Oh. No, I won't make that picture.
I want to get back to New York with clean hands.
Speaker 7 (06:19):
I want once again to stand shoulder and shoulder with
my fellow actress of the theater who haven't visited the
stage for Hollywood Gold. I want to join their ranks again.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
And the Unemployment Insurance office all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Right, like this, back into your bottle of alcohol.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Ed When you have to make that picture, you signed
a contract.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Never let them assume me. Let them take all my
wildly possessions.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Some possessions, a bust of Shakespeare and a pair of
ton tights, Magnus.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
I've always meant to ask you, who do you go
to to have your head shrunk?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
No, Edwin, sensible. They're going to make you a big star.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Edwin, Montague and Hollywood. This is the end of bella logosi.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Please keep your mouth closed.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
And they have enough canyons out here.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
When you sign a contract and you're going.
Speaker 7 (07:16):
Through with it, Montague, Montague, what are they doing to you?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
They're like vultures descending on a dead horse.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
A dead horse that reminds me breakfast is ready.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
It's game time.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Here's where I play Hide and go seek with Tomaine.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
Edwin.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
The studio is sending a limousine, and don't forget you
have your uncle good heart broadcast this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
The movies and radio all in one day.
Speaker 7 (07:47):
Oh, the rogue and peasants slay on. I take the
mirrors of the house today. I can't look at myself,
lucky you, Agnes, my dove. Why don't you you go out,
find yourself a nice young man and work out a
suicide pack?
Speaker 6 (08:07):
Edwin, get ready, I can't face it alone.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I want you to come with me.
Speaker 9 (08:10):
Oh, I can, ed when I want to do some gardening.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Her husband's poor body is being broken.
Speaker 7 (08:17):
On the rack and she is planting petunias.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
They wears your hunt.
Speaker 6 (08:21):
Oh please when rather not thea.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
I understand you, who have remained true to this theater.
You have refused.
Speaker 7 (08:28):
Hollywood offer so many times in our long career. You
can't bear to see my vile degradation, your once proud husband,
a movie actor, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (08:39):
Do they please come with me?
Speaker 5 (08:41):
All right, Edwin?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I will take my autograph book you Mike Ben into
Luise for Zender.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Oh there's a cop from the studio.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
The tumbrel is hears take me to the guillotine.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
Come, Edwin?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
By this so long, honey, goodbye, goodbye, Raoul.
Speaker 10 (09:09):
Well, well, well, Raoul Randolph, you're here, welcome to Empire Pictures.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
I'm speedcockman of publicity.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
This is my wife.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I'm god to know you, missus Randolph.
Speaker 10 (09:17):
Well, I'm not mister Styles, mister big himself.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
He wants me to bring you right in to see him.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
This way you go in. I'll wait here, Edward, right
this way, we'll barge ride in.
Speaker 10 (09:27):
Well Styles, ha, hi he how do you do?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Row? Baby?
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You got here?
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Row?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Mister? My name is Edward Montague.
Speaker 7 (09:39):
It is a name that he still remembered and revered
by thousands of theater goers.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
I would appreciate it.
Speaker 10 (09:45):
Sure, anything you say, Raoul. Remember I'm behind you. You're
my baby. We're going all out on you. You're gonna
be a big star. You've got Empire behind you, baby.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Sound good to you, sweetheart. Mister Tetton.
Speaker 7 (09:58):
From your conversation, I don't though whether you're planning to
make a picture with me or take me to Diagona
of Paul.
Speaker 10 (10:09):
How did you get that speed Hiagara of Paul?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Hold it in the head of Happer.
Speaker 10 (10:15):
Now look, Raoul, baby, I want you and Steve to
get together out of the publicity build up.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Hever have you named in the papers?
Speaker 7 (10:21):
For the last twenty five years, my name has been
a byword in the drama sections of the New York Press.
Speaker 10 (10:27):
Oh local staff, Speed here is going to make the
name of Raoul rand Now a household word.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
We'll make him forget does take over?
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Speed?
Speaker 10 (10:36):
Well, we got to get an angle, see an angle.
Of course you are a little older, and we talked.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I have aged considerable. It's entering this room.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
I got it.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
I got it.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
Raoul Randol older than Pienza, but.
Speaker 10 (10:50):
He's still got that springtime.
Speaker 6 (10:52):
In his heart.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Great, great, great, that's it. Put that on the teletype
Russia right over to Loela.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Luela, who? Luela?
Speaker 5 (11:01):
Who?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Look?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Baby, don't even say that in the joke around?
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Oh what I said?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Are you married?
Speaker 10 (11:15):
Raoul?
Speaker 7 (11:15):
That was my wife I introduced you to. She happens
to be the famous lily boy of the New York State.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
You married?
Speaker 10 (11:21):
Uh where we'll hush it up, hush it up, sure, baby,
We got to make the housewives feed your available.
Speaker 7 (11:28):
Look, sweetheart, is this emotion picture studio? Are Lonely Hearts Club?
Lonely Hearts Club?
Speaker 10 (11:39):
Speed punched that up a little and shoot at the
wind show. You might blow it up in a whole column.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Things I never know until now about Raoul. Right now,
we gotta get.
Speaker 10 (11:46):
A romantic angle.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
I got it, I got it.
Speaker 10 (11:50):
We'll cook up a hot romance between you and marjor remain,
me and marj Remain.
Speaker 7 (11:57):
I'm dying to see the stove that's going to be
cooked up on How we gotta.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Get moving on some pictures. See did you did you
bring your baby suits with you?
Speaker 4 (12:07):
My bathing suit?
Speaker 11 (12:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (12:08):
Yeah, I'll take you out on the back lap for
some stills for the fan magazines. You know, human trust stuff,
chasing some bathing beauties around the pool, maybe one of
them trick pictures. Your head on a girl's body shows
you're human, not one of them stuffy, hybrow actors. We
want to get you down to the public level.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
Down. I'm practically dragging my dear speed. If any picture
of Beederbore bathing suit.
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Or my head on a girl's body appears to daily paper,
I show you the next edition of that paper will
feature a picture of your head on a spike over
the main gate of Empire Studios.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
And it won't be strict photography.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
No no, wait a minute, sweetheart.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
You listen to me, baby, I came out here to
appear in Shakespeare's Ebottle Macbeth. I only consider to do
it in order to protect Macbeth from being played by
red Skins.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Hilton. I think you will have all the dignity of
you here.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
At the zero Rah, Well, Raoul, what do.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
You think we are barbarians? This is a prestige picture
for us.
Speaker 10 (13:11):
Why I've had writers on that script for six months,
punching up the lines, polishing the.
Speaker 7 (13:16):
Dialogue, polishing Shakespeare's dialog, punching up the line.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh, Shakespeare in your immortal grave. I can hear you.
Speaker 10 (13:27):
Spinning now, Raoul, you're unhappy, sweetheart.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Look you're the boss. Just tell us what you want.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
You're my baby, now are you happy? Yes, daddy, this
is the adull.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Welcome on. Let's get going with the test.
Speaker 10 (13:47):
Yeah, we gotta get you in front of a camera.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
See what kind of makeup to you?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Is how you look? We got to find out.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
You know, from certain angles you can look twenty years younger,
making sure who knows that a little luck.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
We might have another George Raft and.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
I George raph by bo Boyhood.
Speaker 10 (14:03):
Idol come on, come on, let's get going. This test
is gonna be great. You'll be wonderful.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
And of course I have a little unfamiliar with the technique.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Oh you'll be in great hands. We have mister Mayllard Pitch,
best dramatic teacher.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
In Hollywood, grammatic teacher.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, this way Maylard's waiting on the sound stage.
Speaker 7 (14:20):
Through here a dramatic teacher. Mister Fenton, I'm I'm Sarry
a baby. I hope you acquitted the fact that I've
spent twenty five years in the country's leading Shakespeare director.
Speaker 10 (14:32):
Just leave everything to Maylar through this start, Okay, mister Pitch,
he can go ahead.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
He's here. Hell, I'm mister fan.
Speaker 7 (14:39):
And this is Ray Rando.
Speaker 10 (14:43):
The name is rom Okay, sweetheart hit rolling out of
that screen test, and I want to see this by
this afternoon.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (14:50):
Well, now, any acting experience, mister Rando a little. I
understand the lead in your high school play pta minstrel
goes that sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
Well, I'll be frank with you, mister Randolph. This thing
they're putting you in.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
The back bear magbet of God. Yes, indeed, that's right.
It's by Shakespeare. Very difficult, and I won't.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Be able to do a thing for you unless I
have your absolute attention and you, mister Fitch, please don't interrupt.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
We have so much.
Speaker 6 (15:22):
Spade work to do, mister Fitch.
Speaker 4 (15:25):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (15:26):
I don't want to lead you on, but obviously they
haven't told you.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
I am Edwin Montague.
Speaker 7 (15:33):
Who Edwin or, as certain critics insisted on labeling me,
the Magnificent Montague.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Yes, well that's all very interesting, mister Randolph, but we
have much too much to get done before I can
possibly release you as an actor.
Speaker 7 (15:48):
You will release me as an actor, mister Fitch. You
are a follower of the drama. The name of Edwin
Montague means nothing to you, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 8 (15:58):
But of course I'm not judge, mister Randolph. I haven't
been in touch with.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
The little theater movement in years.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
More interested in professional actress.
Speaker 8 (16:08):
Now, well, shall we get on with it?
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Let me hear your voice.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
I want to see if there's anything to start with.
Speaker 6 (16:17):
Now, say how now, brown Cow?
Speaker 8 (16:21):
You see I want resonance, but I'll explain to you
what residents mean later.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
Just now, how now, brown Cow?
Speaker 4 (16:30):
And don't be nervous.
Speaker 6 (16:31):
I won't bite you.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Shall we.
Speaker 11 (16:36):
How no brow cow again you are a stupid a jazz.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
Mister Randolph.
Speaker 8 (16:55):
As long as you continue these schoolboy pranks, I cannot
help you on the rocky road to being an actor.
Speaker 7 (17:02):
You as low and disimble, as special of humanity as
I never seen outside of a snake pit.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
You are going to make me an actor, mister Randolph.
Speaker 8 (17:10):
It is not my practice to impress students with my
theatrical background. I find many times that it over osdom.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
But in your case, may I.
Speaker 8 (17:19):
Acquaint you with the fact that, prior to coming to
the studio I had spent three solid years with a
Pasadena community playhouse.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
Rarely, and before.
Speaker 8 (17:34):
That I was senior to matter coach at Hollywood High.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
Oh, Master, I will never doubt you again, I should
think not.
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Now we have to make the test. I have selected
the scene from Macbeth. You see, it's Macbeth with Lady Macbeth.
Now where Macbeth had just murdered the king and his
conscience starts bothering him.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Now you see in this scene.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Missinks, I heard of voice cry sleep no more Macbeth.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
No, no, no, raw no no no this way, methinks
I heard a voice cry sleep no more.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
That's exactly it. You got it.
Speaker 8 (18:22):
Now, let's do the test and get it over with.
Get the cameras ready, lights, We're ready.
Speaker 7 (18:26):
Mister Randolph, I shall take lady.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Oh no, you will do you? Where's them? Where's the door? Raoul? Lily, Lily?
Speaker 6 (18:35):
Will you please step into the studio? Lily and my lady?
Speaker 7 (18:38):
Back there a lily boy, but who happens to have
played the role opposite to me for two solid years
the Blaskof.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
On Broadway, where we set a new record.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
To the wild a claim.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
Of all the new of your critics. What is it
they were doing the middle scene? I too seem to Oh.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
No, Evan, please don't ask Day.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
I know how stream strongly you feel about movies, but
this is just test. You must do it for me,
all right, all right on your toes. This is an event.
We who have performed Macbeth before the most critical audiences
in the world, must today rise to new and glorious heights.
Todayly we are performing perform mister Maylard Pitch of the
(19:20):
Pasady Community Playouse and Hollywood high the camera roll, mister,
we are ready, very well.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Here are the scripts, scripts.
Speaker 7 (19:33):
Of parts on your scripts, do I, Edwin Montague, who
spent twenty five years steep to the immortal Macbeth, need.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
A script, take it away, get ready to roll.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
We'll take it right after where I Macbeth have killed
the game and come to you, conscience stricken, are ready,
cameras roll them.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Go ahead, lily, These deeds must not.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
These deeds must not be thought after these ways, so
it will make us mad.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
With hot I heard a voice cry, sleep no more.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
Macbeth does kill step murder, sleep a murder asleep sleep
and ravels up, the knitted sleep up and knits up
the ravel's sleeve of Woa of care, of care, the
life of each day's death, the death of each day's look,
death of each day's life.
Speaker 6 (20:31):
That's it, mister Randolph.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Thank you, And he wanted me to use a script.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I'll wait for you out in the hall.
Speaker 7 (20:42):
Well, mister Millard Fitch, did that come up to the
high and lofty standards of drama of Hollywood?
Speaker 4 (20:47):
High?
Speaker 8 (20:47):
That was quite an interesting interpretation of Shakespeare. Mister Montague, however,
I personally know.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Well, Raoul baby, mister Fitz, show you how we do
things here.
Speaker 7 (21:00):
Oh yes, he gave me an excellent idea of how
you do things here.
Speaker 10 (21:03):
Good man, isn't he?
Speaker 4 (21:04):
He was with the Pasadena Community Playhouse.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
You know they had a fight like tigers to get him.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Who was after him?
Speaker 6 (21:11):
Compton Junior College?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Compton Junior College? Where's Speed?
Speaker 6 (21:18):
I'll have some tuning over the Cydny skolls Hereio.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Speed, Speed? You got the song right here? Styles and
that terrific good look Ralph sweetheart.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
The boys just came up with some terrific songs for
the picture. Want you to run through them?
Speaker 4 (21:30):
What?
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Ted?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Do you sing it? Songs for the picture?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
But you can't do a musical without song.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Shakespeare's Macbeth, a musical in technicolor.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I told you we're.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Going all out get these songs. Wait till they hit
the jukeboxes. What's that one? Styles?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
The one I like from the battle seat.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Yeah, you mean I will not yield to kiss the
ground before young.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Malcolm's foot or my body? I throw my wall, I
chewed Macbell. That's it?
Speaker 10 (22:01):
Back d up back dup, isn't that yeah? On McDuff, Yeah,
that's it. Here's here's what you say here it speed.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
One Dantree and dum dum baby. I like your style, baby,
I like your stuff.
Speaker 10 (22:13):
But if you want that now for me, immack up, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
That's your right between the eyes. Didn't it roll?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Not quite there?
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Or get this way?
Speaker 10 (22:27):
You know the whole play Mac that takes place in Scottland.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So I had been led to believe.
Speaker 7 (22:33):
It's it's that thing about burnham Wood, immortal line though
burnham Wood to become to Dunce and.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
And the pole, and then I get this.
Speaker 10 (22:43):
You see it's a little Scotch number you in kilts
speed country, m dumb dumb, No burnham would come to
Dunceni in my last sea by my side.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
It's a bro bra.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
Stop stop, I know, I know, Row.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
You don't have to tell me. You want to know
if we.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Have a ballad for you?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yes, it's my ballad? Where's my ballad? Lit? Here's this?
That's be the dgacy you mean? Is this a dagger
that I see before me? The handle todd by hand
Let me clu, that's it.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
That's it.
Speaker 10 (23:16):
I'll get the picture you standing there with Lady Macbeth
and the Verandah in the moonlight, and then you sing
your ballad.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Take it speed turn to the dumb Is this to
Dago that I see before me?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Or visit you? O?
Speaker 10 (23:33):
Lady Lady Macbeth, come let me clutch you in my arm.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Oh stop stopping you gentlemen serious.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Surprised, aren't your sweetheart?
Speaker 10 (23:43):
Thought this was going to be just another one of those.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Little bee pictures.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
We're going all out for my baby.
Speaker 10 (23:49):
Now for the title of the picture, We're leaving it
all up to you.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
The title for Macbeth.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
Yeah, we boiled it down to two.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Do you like this one?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Lady Macbeth was a lady. Lady Macbeth a lady. Yeah,
personally I like it. It has dignity.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
But if you've got a dirty mind, you can make
your own meeting. Bye.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Let me throw this one at you.
Speaker 10 (24:10):
Lady Macbeth has her flee.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Lady Macbeth has her flee.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Yeah, you know Scotland Highland playing.
Speaker 10 (24:16):
That's do something I guess go over their heads across
that one outspeed.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
See how we do things out here? And God something
bothering your baby?
Speaker 10 (24:24):
Oh no, no, I'm fast to go on or wait,
will we check you out in that costume that Texas
Ranger outfit Texas Ranger in Scotland Yeah. You see in
the first ree of you and Lady Macbeth, we're getting.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
Esther Williams, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (24:39):
Now, the both of you come over to America fleeing
from persecution by the tzar. Yeah, you go s to
the covered wagon, a couple of Indian fights, never misses,
and check the color.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
You hit Dodge City and you stick out a ranch.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Then along comes McDuff, a cattle rustler.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (25:00):
You and Lady Macbeth are tapped by him in the
middle of the desert. And then then comes the climax.
Lady Macbeth swims for help.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, in the desert. How else she gonna.
Speaker 10 (25:11):
Get Esther Williams in a baby? So get with it, sweetheart,
and with it. Well, that's what I'm planning to do.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Baby, that's feed. That's it.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Good.
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Now, may I acquaint you with my plan? Shoot, that, sir,
is just what I'm intending to do. I shall get
into my Texas Ranger outfit, pull out my trustees section
and shoot you both squarely between the eyes.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
At my own expense.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
I will order a tombstone for both of you, and
we'll simply say here lies sweetheart and baby.
Speaker 10 (25:47):
Now law wait don't rowl me Macbeth in technicolor charm.
Speaker 7 (25:53):
It'll be beautiful, beautiful, My dear friends, My father from
New York overlooks the East River. Every afternoon of garbage
scowl passes my window. I assure you that garbage scowl
will look like Cleopatra's barge compared to this picture you
are planning.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Randow, This picture will make you.
Speaker 6 (26:11):
It has already made me sick Hill.
Speaker 7 (26:15):
How do you think my any stretch of your emergies
that Iwin Montagu will be a part of this technically
turkey you're planning to foist on the already punch drunk
movie public. But Raoul, quiet, I refuse to be a
party to this Hollywood horse opera you.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Are going to put out as bacbear.
Speaker 10 (26:33):
All right, we can change it to a prison picture. Hey, speed,
shoot that to Lluella Speed.
Speaker 7 (26:38):
Here's another piece of Hollywood chip chap for Luella. Raoul
Randolph alias Edwin Montague.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Is not going to make what picture for what.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Studio unless it is done exactly as Shakespeare wrote it.
Speaker 10 (26:52):
As Shakespeare wrote it, I'd never heard of such a thing.
Listen to reason, sweet Shakespeare wrote it. Oh no, oh,
will be the laughing stock of Hollywood.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
It'll lose a million dollars.
Speaker 10 (27:03):
You have a contract, as Shakespeare said, So what are
those your last words?
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Exactly?
Speaker 10 (27:09):
You asked for a drown Raoul ran out by the
power vested in me by Empire Studios.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
You are here by suspended.
Speaker 10 (27:18):
No, no, styles, No, you can't do that to a
human being.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I'm suspended by Empire Studio.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
It's a living death. You know what this means.
Speaker 10 (27:25):
You cannot work for another studio until we lift the suspension.
Speaker 7 (27:29):
You mean I can't even hand Doctor Kildare a scalpel. No,
they can't even use my voice in a cartoon. No,
I can't even tune Jean Autrey's guitar. No, in other worlds,
you will see to it that I can never work
in Hollywood again. Exact turtle, and you have made me
the happiest man in the world. He side, where side Hell, Lily,
(28:00):
I've got both shirts all back the New York Here
we come, Edward.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
This is ridiculous. We came three thousand miles from now.
We're going back.
Speaker 7 (28:08):
But I go back and hon his fam with clean hands.
I have refused to start.
Speaker 6 (28:13):
I have refused to just spoiled my beloved shakespy ed.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Maybe they listen to reason, this is.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
A fine how do you do here? I am going
back to New York without a tan. My friends are
gonna think I spent the winter in a newsreel theater.
Speaker 7 (28:28):
I guess the minute I'm on the train for New York,
you may bask in the sunshine.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Of my smile.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
The sunshine and you smile. That'll be a day. Here
are your Hollywood sports shirts, slacks and moccasin's. Well, I
put them in.
Speaker 7 (28:41):
The insinerator, burned them all the way as the station.
I will fling the ash into the lobby of Crahman's
to the honeys.
Speaker 5 (28:49):
Hate to leave, my little god. I was just planning
my geranium lily.
Speaker 7 (28:54):
When we get back to New York, knowing, dear ag
this is house kidding, there will be dirting to plant
them in my den.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
We've readed this house for months.
Speaker 7 (29:05):
The landlord can use the money to finally put a
roof of that a living.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Room, Edwin, I keep telling you that's the patio.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
Who cares we're going back.
Speaker 7 (29:14):
He's side well side, I come in, roll, baby, you're
still here.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
We got here in time.
Speaker 7 (29:23):
Gentlemen, don't tell me you came all the way here
to tell me that you have a new jump tune.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Called Stompin' with Macbeth.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Mister rand Alp, I come with great news. Tell them,
tell him rand Out, brace yourself.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Here it come.
Speaker 10 (29:36):
The suspension has been lifted. Oh no, you can't do
that to me.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Were fools, Raul.
Speaker 10 (29:41):
We hadn't seen that screen test you made with your
wife with my wife.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
It's dynamite. We want you two together. Ha, what a team.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
We are not going to do that song and dance
version of Macbeth.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
What Macbeth?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
You were right on that, We're not doing it. You're no,
We've got something greater than Macbeth.
Speaker 10 (29:56):
We have plans for you and your wife. It will
make you the greatest acting team in history.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Edwin Lily acting together again.
Speaker 10 (30:02):
I'm so excited, I can't see straight. Our studio has
a million dollar property. For twenty years, we've been trying
to get the perfect couple for it.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
You're it to a tee. They're perfect.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
What is it? Romeo and Juliet?
Speaker 10 (30:13):
Bigger than that, Caesar and clearbarton't make me laugh.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
It's bigger than that. Wait till this announcement hit the world.
Speaker 10 (30:20):
Empire Pictures proudly presents history and missus Edwin Montague in
What Is It? Jigs and Maggie.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Join us again next Friday night at the same time
for another visit with The Magnificent Montague, starring Marty Woolley,
created and directed by Natt Hiken, written by Nat Hiken
and Billy Friedberg, and Seymour was Lily Pert. Kelton was Agnes.
Included in tonight's cast were Alan Reed as styles Feton,
Wally Mayer as Speed, and Jim Bachis as Mayllard Fitch.
(31:00):
This is Eddie King, saying stay tuned for Duffy's Tavern,
which follows immediately.
Speaker 10 (31:06):
This is NBC, the national broadcasting company Boom
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