December 7, 2025 • 30 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
The Last Channel Broadcasting Company precincts The Magnificent Montague starring
Marty Willie. In nineteen twenty six, reviewing Edwin Montague's great
performance in King Lear Burns Metal referred to him as
(00:31):
the Magnificent Montague. Edwin never forgave Burns Metal for that understatement. Today,
still happily married to his one time leading lady, Lilly Boyem,
Edwin Montague courageously remains true to his conviction that.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
He is the world's greatest actor.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
In the last eight years, he's refused to act in
any play in which he did not.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Have the starring role. In the last eight years, he's
refused to.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Be in any drama in which he did not have
the privilege of rewriting and directing personally.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
In the last eight years, he hasn't worked.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
When Montague knows that there will be a return of
that golden era of the New York stage and Shakespeare,
and when that time comes. By the way, the time
right now is two in the afternoon, and we're in
the Montague apartment.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, okay, take it easy, you'll last longer. The residents
of Edwin Montague and Miss Lily Bowen, they ain't up yet.
Who knows when their actor's a cooky ten minutes a
copy next Tuesday.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh no, well, I'll take it here, honey, Please give
me some coffee.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
Hello, Charlie.
Speaker 6 (01:37):
Well, I really haven't asked ed when yet, you see
Now wait, wait, Charlie, I promise I'll ask him as
soon as he gets up, and once more you can
tell them you'll take the job. Y, good bye, here's
your coffee. Honey, Agnes, what do you think my husband,
Edwin Montague is going to work?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You're kidding.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
This is the end of one of the world's biggest
nonprofit organizations, Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
You'll see he'll be easy to get along with. He'll
be a changed man.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So it was kind of fascinating watching him gracefully slide
from unemployment insurance into social Security.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
So he found a play, but not a play.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
He's going into radio. Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
My coffee will leave some dishes for him to smash
when I tell him about.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It radio, and he doesn't know yet, uh uh, Agnes,
A job will snap him out.
Speaker 7 (02:34):
Of this screen he.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Has that he's still the foundation.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Of the American theater.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Otherwise they'll spend the rest of his life sitting around
the Proscenium Club with those broken down hands.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I mean the rest of the broken down Hans Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
That will be quite enough.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
A big matinee idol, the Sinatra of the twenties, the
way he lords it around this highnestock. Great Montague is
a great wind back, a big actor. And all the
time it was you who had more acting talent than
he ever hoped to have. Go on, you know what, honey,
what you're a bigger ham than he is.
Speaker 7 (03:09):
I never doubted it.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
Oh now please, and there's no fights with him this morning.
Everything's got to go right. Did you get his imported kippers?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I could only get the domestic kippers.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh well, they're the same.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Uncle, identical.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
They taste the same, smell the same, feel the same good.
But he'll know the difference. I've never seen such a
low life who.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Lives so high.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Please English kippers, British clothes, imported shoes. What's he trying
to do single handedly pull England out of the red.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
It's just this morning.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
Don't say anything that will irritate him.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
He's up, get his breakfast ready, he's.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Doing his morning vocal exercises already that means he's finished
combing his beard.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Oh brother, he takes care of that beard like a
chorus girl with her first mink.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Alice.
Speaker 8 (03:59):
Start roaming hell quick, Agnes, here he comes.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Good morning, Edwin. Switch up, I.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Rolle Hill, Good morning, Lily.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
He made it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Good morning, an. I see you got here this morning.
I suppose you arrived by your usual means of transportation,
a broom.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
It's such a beautiful day, and I must say, you
look so so dashing this morning, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
He, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I think he's a drain.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's right, dear, like this. It is a little early
to stop debating our respective beauty. All I can say
is that after twenty five years of having to look
at your face before eating breakfast, there can be at
one epitaph on my tombstone, Edwin Montague he had a
strong stomach. Please no quarrels. Look Atwin, Agnes.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Fixed to your breakfast, just the way you like it.
There must be your first time here, your raw egg
and Worcestershire sauce, kipper herroing, a broiled veal kidney, two
mutton chops, rare and old brattened potatoes.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The breakfast of champions.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You go ahead and eat Edwin.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Oh, by the way, Charlie posta telephone this morning. He
deals that he is at last found the most cubel.
What's the matter domestic kippers?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Edwin? Domestic kippers?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
What is this place becoming a white cower? This is
another of Agnes's attempts to poison me. Look at that kipper,
It looks top.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
What do you think that kipper's thinking about? Looking up
at Jill?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Listen, miss housemaid's knee of nineteen or two.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
If you're Win, we couldn't get imported kippers this morning.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Now, will you please let me go on? Sorry dear,
and go on about Charlie? Yeah, now, I don't want
you to be shot shocked. Nothing could shot me after
that exception we had at the Prosidium Club last night,
we had the drum Cecil Banks out of the organization,
poor old sairs. So what did he do? We found
(06:28):
out Cecil's going into radio radio. Yes, please don't make
me repeat that word again. Cecil Banks, another deserter of
the theater. I was up until three in the morning
striking out all reference to him in my memoirs. Another
name going radio. Better to dig ditches than that. Oh now,
(06:53):
what's this about Charlie.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Fast Edwin at Charlie Foster has a job for you
the Starring Road.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I knew it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
I knew it.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
They finally found a Juliet for me.
Speaker 6 (07:03):
It's not Romeo and Juliet, it's none. Oh no, you
see this job that Charlie.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Has for you is imagine in all New York they
can't find a Juliet. Hi, if you only hadn't let
yourself go? But but continue, darling, coming about the job, well.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Edwin, what did you mean by if I just hadn't
let myself go?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Oh now, Lily, I didn't mean your look so you're
going to see it or anything like that. Just what
did you mean?
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Well?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I meant. I meant well, you found new interests every afternoon.
Your you're busiest secretary of the Women's bird Watchers of Avelica.
That's all i'd meant. Oh, why, Lily, honey, you're still
as charming and as captivating as the day I first
picked you out of the chorus with a duty little
princess and made you by leading law.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
What about this job?
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Edwin?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
I honestly don't want to bring this up again, but
once and for all. It's got to be settled between us.
I was not in the chorus of a naughty little Princess.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I was the star. Oh no, not that again.
Speaker 6 (08:08):
You didn't picked me to be your leading lady. David
Belasco had to talk me into it. You were known
as the worst scene stealer on the American stage. I
seen steel face it, Darling. I spent five years on
the stage with you. Before I knew there was an audience.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
You so gallantly hid it from me.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
This, then, is my penalty for loving an envious woman. Envious.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
I never envied you, Edwin.
Speaker 6 (08:32):
I stood aside as you took your bows.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
I was content and happy.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
But in all decency, allow me the memory, the memory
of the little success that I did have. Say that again,
whole thing, just the end.
Speaker 6 (08:50):
But allow me the memory of the little success that
I did have.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Gad, what a reading, What residence empire? The way you've
still got a little girl? You still got it? Stop it, you, darling.
Anything you want me to do, anything.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Strike while the ant's hot.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
This job Charlie has for you is, of course the
starring role.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yes, what is it?
Speaker 6 (09:16):
An afternoon radio program?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Excuse me, I have a pretzel in the oven.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Here it had to be my own wife who said
that it couldn't have been a strange A stranger I
could strangle, crush and trample into the ground for suggesting
that I couldn't Montague go into rat ed Edwin Montague
in the radio. No, not as long as there is
(09:52):
breath in my body.
Speaker 6 (09:53):
You'd better have breath in your body, because unless you
get a job, there'll be no food in it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Money is gone, darling.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
What do you think I've been using for the last
eight years to pay for your imported kippers? You're imported
cigar bends.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Now this radio job?
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Radio?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, I'll dig ditches, Edwin.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
What is this newfound confidence you have in digging bitches?
The only time you ever held a shovel was in
the play He'll Have Gold, and then on opening night
you use the wrong end.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Anything but radio.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
My friends at the Presidian Club, will Will will Stone make.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
The Shalamar soap company will pay two hundred dollars a week.
No one will know it's you. There will be absolutely
no publicity.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I can't not radio.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's what killed the stay. If I must sell soap,
let me at least maintain my pride and do it
from door to door, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Are you going to take the job.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
To be or not to be? That is the problem,
That is the question, That is the question, whether Edwin
yes or no? Well, no one will know it's been
nobody of course. You know, if the news leaks out
that I'm in radio, I shall automatically commit suice naturally
(11:13):
well Edwin, Oh that this too too solid flesh would
melt and resolve.
Speaker 6 (11:18):
It's he and resolve, ed Edwin.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Are you going to take the job to be or not?
It pays two hundred dollars a week. The starring role.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
You play a character called Uncle good Heart, Uncle.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Death. Where is thy stingent.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Well Edwin?
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Yes or no?
Speaker 5 (11:44):
I must bow to the fates.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yes, Edwin, I'm proud of you. Are called Charlie Pease.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'll retire to my
study where I'm going to make the final revision on
my memoirs.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
I am going to strike my own name out of it.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Have you the orange juice? At it?
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Black cock?
Speaker 6 (12:19):
All here, you're sure it's eight o'clock.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
It's five after you're gonna wake him up?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Here?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
It goes.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Edwin Darling.
Speaker 6 (12:26):
Time to get up and go to the radio station
for your first program.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Try again, put some beef in.
Speaker 6 (12:35):
It, Edwin, Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Help me out, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, you take one ear, I'll take the other.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Edwin, Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Wait, wait, he's stirring.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
What's happened?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
What is it? Time to get up, Darling. It's eight o'clock,
eight o'clock, eight o'clock. Buck, Yeah, I've always slept.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
No there, you don't understand. It's eight o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Morning. Well, that's ridiculous. Look it's dark. The sunshines the morning.
I read that in a book somewhere.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Now sit up, sweetheart, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
The black coffee, right, I hope it's still hot.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It is here, all right, now, Edwin, this coffee, Edwin, Edwin,
come on, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Edwin Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Holy this is ridiculous. Why even as a baby I
never got up until noon.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Now just drink this coffee, sweet Lily.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I can't be seen at this hour. Still think I'm
a burglar. And then you have to be at the
studio at nine now, no more. Nonsense, Agnes, the.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Brown steward of white shirt and brown tart.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Coming up now the shoes is a year honey, thank you?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
All right, Edwin, you'd dress what?
Speaker 7 (14:02):
Edwin?
Speaker 9 (14:06):
What's more, Agnes, Edmund Darling it it's fun to get up,
all right, Arm up, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Tonight is the night for the return of Duffy's Tavern.
Your host will be the youngrammatical Archie played by Ed Gardner.
Duffy won't be there as usual, but he will be
represented by his undeniably charming daughter, Miss Duffy. Clifton Finnegan
and Eddie the Waiter will also be on. And the
joining the mischief which Archie will undoubtedly cook up.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The chimes are.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Your invitation to top Friday Evening listening later tonight with
Duffy's Tavern over most of these NBC stations, and the
reminder this Sunday on NBC, It's the Big Show once again,
an hour and a half of the best in comedy,
music and drama. And now let's listen to the magnificent
(15:09):
Montague at his first radio rehearsal.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
Hold it cast before I start directing you. In the
first rehearsal, of Uncle good Heart. Mister Springer, our head
of production would like to say a few words.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Mister Springer, thank you, mister censor. Ladies and gentlemen, I
will be brief. Our sponsor is the shut um Our
Soap Company. We go on the air directly opposite our
biggest competitors, program aunt Agatha. Our program Uncle Goodheart must
be a weapon, a weapon that will strike so hard,
(15:46):
so cruel, that it'll wipe aunt Agatha off the air lanes.
Speaker 10 (15:50):
It's up to you carry off, okay, cast let's rehearse
it right.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Excuse me, but isn't this all a waste of time?
Speaker 7 (16:01):
A wasted time?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Years before rehearsal, I'd like to take a few weeks
to work out the character and sit with the writers
and develop a few weeks.
Speaker 10 (16:10):
To mister Montague, this program goes on the air in
half an hour.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Half an hour?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
You mean every week?
Speaker 10 (16:16):
I have every week, five times a week, five times?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Hold up with me, you don't. But am I a jukebox?
Speaker 7 (16:28):
Mister Montague? This is radio you. What's up?
Speaker 5 (16:31):
A couple?
Speaker 7 (16:31):
Nothing?
Speaker 10 (16:32):
Mister Springer, this is mister Edwin Montague, our Uncle good Heart?
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Now, how do you do?
Speaker 10 (16:37):
I was explaining certain things to mister Montague. He's new
in radio.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You went radio Zimza for the leading role on the
program as important as this. You use an unknown amateur,
an unknown amateur.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
Why are you filthy, little bitter Montague? This filthy little?
I mean this is good the producer who Linda.
Speaker 10 (16:59):
I but mister Springer, mister Montague is one of the
great actors of the legitimate stage. It was a stroke
of sheer luck to get him his uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Huh sorry I offended you, old man. Personally, I never
go to plays. I always say, give me the movies.
You see the best actors, and they let you smoke
in the balcony the movies, My dear sir, it's men
(17:28):
with brains like yours that make morons over confident.
Speaker 10 (17:34):
Rehearsal, okay, cash, let's go, no music, just a dry run.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Bartley and Melissa drive up. Sound.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That must be the cottage over there.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Bartley, do you think he's home? Oh, he's got to be.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
It's our only hope. Oh, look, that must be he
coming to meet us. Hello, uncle good.
Speaker 10 (17:56):
Heart, Hello and bless Oh mister Montague, you were off
mic off, my guess. Please speak into the microphone.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
And I don't use the microphone.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
Yes, let's take it from I beg your pardon, mister monic.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I said I don't use a microphone.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
You don't use a microphone, And my good man, this.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Based seed space you. But I come from the euro
of the theater where an actor's voice did not need
the aid of these artificial doodads in order to be hurt.
My voice projection is famous. You know, take the very
last roll, if ever your refuse to be popping to
this mechanical subterfuge, mister Montague. Radio never, never, no, no,
(18:46):
now now now what's the trouble?
Speaker 10 (18:48):
Oh, nothing, mister Springer. It's just that mister Montague doesn't
want to use the microphone.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Now, now, if he doesn't want to use that, he
doesn't want to use the microphone. He doesn't want to
use the microphone. I assure you I could be heard
without a microphone. How about the people in Denver? Sinsor?
I hold you personally responsible.
Speaker 7 (19:09):
Please, mister Montague.
Speaker 10 (19:12):
Ever since I saw you in Macbeth when I was
just a child, you've been my idol. Please trust me
when I say in radio you have to speak into
a microphone.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Oh very well, so you saw me back there? Eh?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
There this. I will not yield to kiss the ground
before young malcomes feet and be beated with a rebel's curse.
I throw my wall like sieal long mactor. Eh, wonderful one,
(19:51):
mister Springer sinsor remember what I said. Without a microphone,
they wouldn't hear him in Denver.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (19:58):
I think he could do it, but we'd better get on,
mister Montague. We'll take it from where Melissa and Bartley
approach you. Page five, page five, Oh Scar, it is.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
That must be the cottage over.
Speaker 7 (20:14):
There, Bartley, do you think he's home?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Oh, he's got to be.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
It's our only hope.
Speaker 11 (20:18):
Oh, look, that must be he coming to meet us.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Hello, Uncle good Heart, Hello, and bless you my children.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Why as I live and breathe?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
If it isn't Zeke chicklings, little girl, Melissa, Oh, Uncle
good Heart, and mercy be child for the way you're blushing.
I'll bet this tall, good looking bella with you as
your bowl. Now fist up.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
Please, mister Montague.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I should very much like to meet the writer of
this epic. I've never seen hi, I've never seen a
three year old operator typewriter before.
Speaker 10 (21:02):
Please, mister Montague, we're trying to get a timing. You're
a lying Bartley.
Speaker 12 (21:07):
I am Bartley Boswell, Uncle good Heart, Doc Boswell's son.
Speaker 11 (21:11):
Oh, Uncle good Heart. Something terrible has happened. Bartley and
I can't get married.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Come we we must look at the sunny side.
Speaker 7 (21:26):
Oh that, mister Montague. You have to speed that up.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
A little, speed it up.
Speaker 10 (21:34):
When you see me twirl my index finger like this,
it means speed it up.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
You're index finger, mister Zinza. I am an actor, not
an orchestra. And I refuse, I refuse to be conducted
like a three piece band. I shall read it as
I feed it, and you keep your finger out of it.
Speaker 7 (21:59):
But, mister Montague, the character.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Young man, are you telling me Edwin Montague how to
read a character?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
You are radio.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Director, the lowest point a man can sink to and
still stay out of jail for vagrants. Here you dare
to do what even the great Velasco never presumed to do.
Tell Edwin Montague how to play a character.
Speaker 10 (22:25):
One minute, mister Montague, the script is time for a
certain speed.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
You must fit into it.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I fit you This anthology of cliches, it must fit
into me, simsor cut right of this troublemaker. I'm going.
Speaker 10 (22:38):
Where's my hat, mister Montague, We're going on the air.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's a gray hamburg with a green feathers. That's what
it is.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Mister Montague. You can't walk out.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
I won't. I'll run.
Speaker 13 (22:56):
Chalamar Soap brings you Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
He was sent here by Sufferoni Soap. He's a dirty spine.
Oh you spie, I'll pull your nose off and let
the air out of your head.
Speaker 12 (23:18):
Quietly we find gentle kind, lovable Uncle good Heart seated
on the steps of his little vine covered cottage, waiting
to give.
Speaker 13 (23:29):
Comfort and counsel to the weary traveler.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Listen, said the show, speaking, mister.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Montague, do the character anyway you want to?
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Anyway? Very well?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
That must be the cottage over there, Bartley.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Do you think he's home? Oh, he's got to be.
It's our only hope.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
Oh, look, that must be he coming to meet us.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Hello, Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 7 (23:59):
You're cute, you're cue. Here's your script?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Who needs a script?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
And bless you my children? Why I live and breeze
If it isn't zeke chickenings, this little saber toothed offspring
Melissa and without a leash. Oh no, I.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Don't kill him.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'll shooting.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Why Uncle good Heart?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You remember me only because you're absolutely impossible to forget.
And who is this with you? This creature with the
pre shrunk head.
Speaker 12 (24:43):
I'm Bartley Boswell, uncle good Heart, the doc boswell son.
Speaker 11 (24:47):
Oh, Uncle good Heart. Something terrible has happened. Bartley and
I can't get married.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I don't know which one of you to congratulate first. Still,
it would have been an extraordinary mat yet all reasons
(25:22):
that sounds awful.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
What else did he say on the program?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Then he tells us Botley and miss Melissa there's only
one solution for their problem.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Get married, buy a little home, move in and turn
on the guests. Turn on the gag.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
Oh healthy.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
At the end of the show, they made an announcement.
The ideas expressed on this program are not necessarily those
of any human being.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I'm so afraid something's happened to him. He's been an
hour since his program was over.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Maybe he's in jail. There must be a law against
what he did to the ages.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
This is no touch.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Can he comes.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Edwin?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
What happened? It's been over an hour.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Shorry on, late, Dear.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I had to keep circling and backtracking to shake them
off my trains.
Speaker 6 (26:07):
Well, the phone has been ringing continually, and mister Zinzer
and mister Springer.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Have been trying to get you.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You didn't tell her where we live, Edwin. I think
Springer carries a gun. I saw him reaching for something
as he lunged at me when I ran out of
the studio. Should have caught you. I was at the
Birdwatcher's office.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
But Agnes heard the program, the whole thing, the whole thing.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Even.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Lily, after what I did to it. Radio can never recover.
The theater shall live.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
Again, Oh, Agnes, there's someone at the door, Edwin, How
could you have?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Guys struck a blow for the theater?
Speaker 5 (26:51):
I stand here, brave, and I'm afraid, Lily.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Lily, shure the gentlemen this white boys, check your hardware.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
The man who brought you up the elevator is a
golden clothes champ. I can have him here in two seconds.
Mister Montague. If you wish me to crawl at your feet,
come on me, crawl at my feet.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Mister Montague, Will you ever forgive my horrible presumption in
trying to tell you, the master, how to play a character.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
What is if you wish me to kiss your boots?
Command me? Look if you came up here just to
make love to my feet. The moment Uncle could Heart
went off the air, the telephone switched forth at the
station lit up like a Christmas tree.
Speaker 10 (27:38):
Listeners on over the country are still calling to tell us,
at last, a real, down to earth character has been
heard on radio, A real why man, you hit the
nation with the impact of a howitzer I did? How
could we have been so blind? It was you, with
your unerring dramatic sense. Who knew that the public wanted
a contrast to the sweet, kindly sentimental old homie radio characters.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
You gave them something new, assaulted, down to worth, real
living Uncle good Heart. It's the greatest thing since just
Plain bell a just plain who. One man telephoned all
away from Council Bluffs, Iowa, just to say, yuck, yuck, yuck.
(28:24):
It's sweeping the country can comesin Za. We must let
Uncle good Heart rest so he can reach new heights.
In tomorrow's episode, see.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
You in the morning, Mister Montague is here.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They're crazy, They're madmen. People listen to that horrible thing.
I didn't, and they liked it.
Speaker 6 (28:45):
The Magnificent Molecule.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Does it again? What have I done? What have I done? For?
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Whatever you did, dream Boy, keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
It means important, Kippers from now on, Lily, you've missed
the whole point. The whole point.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Yes, it just truck pay here.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I was doing my best to be bad and I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
What came out was great, Lily. I suspected it for
many years, but now at last I know I am
truly magnificent.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Go then next week and find out what happens when
the Magnificent Montague and Radio meat Head on. Remember next week,
same time, same station. It's The Magnificent Montague starring Marti Bolly,
created and written by Nap Hyken.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
The Last Channel Broadcasting Company precincts The Magnificent Montague starring
Marty Willie. In nineteen twenty six, reviewing Edwin Montague's great
performance in King Lear Burns Metal referred to him as
(00:31):
the Magnificent Montague. Edwin never forgave Burns Metal for that understatement. Today,
still happily married to his one time leading lady, Lilly Boyem,
Edwin Montague courageously remains true to his conviction that.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
He is the world's greatest actor.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
In the last eight years, he's refused to act in
any play in which he did not.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Have the starring role. In the last eight years, he's
refused to.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Be in any drama in which he did not have
the privilege of rewriting and directing personally.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
In the last eight years, he hasn't worked.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
When Montague knows that there will be a return of
that golden era of the New York stage and Shakespeare,
and when that time comes. By the way, the time
right now is two in the afternoon, and we're in
the Montague apartment.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay, okay, take it easy, you'll last longer. The residents
of Edwin Montague and Miss Lily Bowen, they ain't up yet.
Who knows when their actor's a cooky ten minutes a
copy next Tuesday.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh no, well, I'll take it here, honey, Please give
me some coffee.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
Hello, Charlie.
Speaker 6 (01:37):
Well, I really haven't asked ed when yet, you see
Now wait, wait, Charlie, I promise I'll ask him as
soon as he gets up, and once more you can
tell them you'll take the job. Y, good bye, here's
your coffee. Honey, Agnes, what do you think my husband,
Edwin Montague is going to work?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
You're kidding.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
This is the end of one of the world's biggest
nonprofit organizations, Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
You'll see he'll be easy to get along with. He'll
be a changed man.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So it was kind of fascinating watching him gracefully slide
from unemployment insurance into social Security.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
So he found a play, but not a play.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
He's going into radio. Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
My coffee will leave some dishes for him to smash
when I tell him about.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
It radio, and he doesn't know yet, uh uh, Agnes,
A job will snap him out.
Speaker 7 (02:34):
Of this screen he.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Has that he's still the foundation.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Of the American theater.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Otherwise they'll spend the rest of his life sitting around
the Proscenium Club with those broken down hands.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
I mean the rest of the broken down Hans Agnes.
Speaker 6 (02:45):
That will be quite enough.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
A big matinee idol, the Sinatra of the twenties, the
way he lords it around this highnestock. Great Montague is
a great wind back, a big actor. And all the
time it was you who had more acting talent than
he ever hoped to have. Go on, you know what, honey,
what you're a bigger ham than he is.
Speaker 7 (03:09):
I never doubted it.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
Oh now please, and there's no fights with him this morning.
Everything's got to go right. Did you get his imported kippers?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I could only get the domestic kippers.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Oh well, they're the same.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Uncle, identical.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
They taste the same, smell the same, feel the same good.
But he'll know the difference. I've never seen such a
low life who.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Lives so high.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Please English kippers, British clothes, imported shoes. What's he trying
to do single handedly pull England out of the red.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
It's just this morning.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
Don't say anything that will irritate him.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
He's up, get his breakfast ready, he's.
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Doing his morning vocal exercises already that means he's finished
combing his beard.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Oh brother, he takes care of that beard like a
chorus girl with her first mink.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Alice.
Speaker 8 (03:59):
Start roaming hell quick, Agnes, here he comes.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Good morning, Edwin. Switch up, I.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Rolle Hill, Good morning, Lily.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
He made it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Good morning, an. I see you got here this morning.
I suppose you arrived by your usual means of transportation,
a broom.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
It's such a beautiful day, and I must say, you
look so so dashing this morning, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
He, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I think he's a drain.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's right, dear, like this. It is a little early
to stop debating our respective beauty. All I can say
is that after twenty five years of having to look
at your face before eating breakfast, there can be at
one epitaph on my tombstone, Edwin Montague he had a
strong stomach. Please no quarrels. Look Atwin, Agnes.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Fixed to your breakfast, just the way you like it.
There must be your first time here, your raw egg
and Worcestershire sauce, kipper herroing, a broiled veal kidney, two
mutton chops, rare and old brattened potatoes.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
The breakfast of champions.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You go ahead and eat Edwin.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Oh, by the way, Charlie posta telephone this morning. He
deals that he is at last found the most cubel.
What's the matter domestic kippers?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Edwin? Domestic kippers?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
What is this place becoming a white cower? This is
another of Agnes's attempts to poison me. Look at that kipper,
It looks top.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
What do you think that kipper's thinking about? Looking up
at Jill?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Listen, miss housemaid's knee of nineteen or two.
Speaker 6 (06:04):
If you're Win, we couldn't get imported kippers this morning.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Now, will you please let me go on? Sorry dear,
and go on about Charlie? Yeah, now, I don't want
you to be shot shocked. Nothing could shot me after
that exception we had at the Prosidium Club last night,
we had the drum Cecil Banks out of the organization,
poor old sairs. So what did he do? We found
(06:28):
out Cecil's going into radio radio. Yes, please don't make
me repeat that word again. Cecil Banks, another deserter of
the theater. I was up until three in the morning
striking out all reference to him in my memoirs. Another
name going radio. Better to dig ditches than that. Oh now,
(06:53):
what's this about Charlie.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Fast Edwin at Charlie Foster has a job for you
the Starring Road.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I knew it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
I knew it.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
They finally found a Juliet for me.
Speaker 6 (07:03):
It's not Romeo and Juliet, it's none. Oh no, you
see this job that Charlie.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Has for you is imagine in all New York they
can't find a Juliet. Hi, if you only hadn't let
yourself go? But but continue, darling, coming about the job, well.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Edwin, what did you mean by if I just hadn't
let myself go?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Oh now, Lily, I didn't mean your look so you're
going to see it or anything like that. Just what
did you mean?
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Well?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I meant. I meant well, you found new interests every afternoon.
Your you're busiest secretary of the Women's bird Watchers of Avelica.
That's all i'd meant. Oh, why, Lily, honey, you're still
as charming and as captivating as the day I first
picked you out of the chorus with a duty little
princess and made you by leading law.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
What about this job?
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Edwin?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
I honestly don't want to bring this up again, but
once and for all. It's got to be settled between us.
I was not in the chorus of a naughty little Princess.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I was the star. Oh no, not that again.
Speaker 6 (08:08):
You didn't picked me to be your leading lady. David
Belasco had to talk me into it. You were known
as the worst scene stealer on the American stage. I
seen steel face it, Darling. I spent five years on
the stage with you. Before I knew there was an audience.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
You so gallantly hid it from me.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
This, then, is my penalty for loving an envious woman. Envious.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
I never envied you, Edwin.
Speaker 6 (08:32):
I stood aside as you took your bows.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
I was content and happy.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
But in all decency, allow me the memory, the memory
of the little success that I did have. Say that again,
whole thing, just the end.
Speaker 6 (08:50):
But allow me the memory of the little success that
I did have.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Gad, what a reading, What residence empire? The way you've
still got a little girl? You still got it? Stop it, you, darling.
Anything you want me to do, anything.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Strike while the ant's hot.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
This job Charlie has for you is, of course the
starring role.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yes, what is it?
Speaker 6 (09:16):
An afternoon radio program?
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Excuse me, I have a pretzel in the oven.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Here it had to be my own wife who said
that it couldn't have been a strange A stranger I
could strangle, crush and trample into the ground for suggesting
that I couldn't Montague go into rat ed Edwin Montague
in the radio. No, not as long as there is
(09:52):
breath in my body.
Speaker 6 (09:53):
You'd better have breath in your body, because unless you
get a job, there'll be no food in it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Money is gone, darling.
Speaker 6 (10:01):
What do you think I've been using for the last
eight years to pay for your imported kippers? You're imported
cigar bends.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Now this radio job?
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Radio?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, I'll dig ditches, Edwin.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
What is this newfound confidence you have in digging bitches?
The only time you ever held a shovel was in
the play He'll Have Gold, and then on opening night
you use the wrong end.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
Anything but radio.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
My friends at the Presidian Club, will Will will Stone make.
Speaker 6 (10:28):
The Shalamar soap company will pay two hundred dollars a week.
No one will know it's you. There will be absolutely
no publicity.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I can't not radio.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's what killed the stay. If I must sell soap,
let me at least maintain my pride and do it
from door to door, Edwin?
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Are you going to take the job.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
To be or not to be? That is the problem,
That is the question, That is the question, whether Edwin
yes or no? Well, no one will know it's been
nobody of course. You know, if the news leaks out
that I'm in radio, I shall automatically commit suice naturally
(11:13):
well Edwin, Oh that this too too solid flesh would
melt and resolve.
Speaker 6 (11:18):
It's he and resolve, ed Edwin.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Are you going to take the job to be or not?
It pays two hundred dollars a week. The starring role.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
You play a character called Uncle good Heart, Uncle.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Death. Where is thy stingent.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Well Edwin?
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Yes or no?
Speaker 5 (11:44):
I must bow to the fates.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yes, Edwin, I'm proud of you. Are called Charlie Pease.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'll retire to my
study where I'm going to make the final revision on
my memoirs.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
I am going to strike my own name out of it.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Have you the orange juice? At it?
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Black cock?
Speaker 6 (12:19):
All here, you're sure it's eight o'clock.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
It's five after you're gonna wake him up?
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Here?
Speaker 5 (12:23):
It goes.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Edwin Darling.
Speaker 6 (12:26):
Time to get up and go to the radio station
for your first program.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Try again, put some beef in.
Speaker 6 (12:35):
It, Edwin, Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Help me out, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, you take one ear, I'll take the other.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Edwin, Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 7 (12:51):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Wait, wait, he's stirring.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
What's happened?
Speaker 2 (12:55):
What is it? Time to get up, Darling. It's eight o'clock,
eight o'clock, eight o'clock. Buck, Yeah, I've always slept.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
No there, you don't understand. It's eight o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Morning. Well, that's ridiculous. Look it's dark. The sunshines the morning.
I read that in a book somewhere.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Now sit up, sweetheart, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
The black coffee, right, I hope it's still hot.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
It is here, all right, now, Edwin, this coffee, Edwin, Edwin,
come on, Agnes.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Edwin Darling, it's time to get up.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Holy this is ridiculous. Why even as a baby I
never got up until noon.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Now just drink this coffee, sweet Lily.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I can't be seen at this hour. Still think I'm
a burglar. And then you have to be at the
studio at nine now, no more. Nonsense, Agnes, the.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Brown steward of white shirt and brown tart.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Coming up now the shoes is a year honey, thank you?
Speaker 6 (14:00):
All right, Edwin, you'd dress what?
Speaker 7 (14:02):
Edwin?
Speaker 9 (14:06):
What's more, Agnes, Edmund Darling it it's fun to get up,
all right, Arm up, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Tonight is the night for the return of Duffy's Tavern.
Your host will be the youngrammatical Archie played by Ed Gardner.
Duffy won't be there as usual, but he will be
represented by his undeniably charming daughter, Miss Duffy. Clifton Finnegan
and Eddie the Waiter will also be on. And the
joining the mischief which Archie will undoubtedly cook up.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The chimes are.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Your invitation to top Friday Evening listening later tonight with
Duffy's Tavern over most of these NBC stations, and the
reminder this Sunday on NBC, It's the Big Show once again,
an hour and a half of the best in comedy,
music and drama. And now let's listen to the magnificent
(15:09):
Montague at his first radio rehearsal.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
Hold it cast before I start directing you. In the
first rehearsal, of Uncle good Heart. Mister Springer, our head
of production would like to say a few words.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Mister Springer, thank you, mister censor. Ladies and gentlemen, I
will be brief. Our sponsor is the shut um Our
Soap Company. We go on the air directly opposite our
biggest competitors, program aunt Agatha. Our program Uncle Goodheart must
be a weapon, a weapon that will strike so hard,
(15:46):
so cruel, that it'll wipe aunt Agatha off the air lanes.
Speaker 10 (15:50):
It's up to you carry off, okay, cast let's rehearse
it right.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Excuse me, but isn't this all a waste of time?
Speaker 7 (16:01):
A wasted time?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Years before rehearsal, I'd like to take a few weeks
to work out the character and sit with the writers
and develop a few weeks.
Speaker 10 (16:10):
To mister Montague, this program goes on the air in
half an hour.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Half an hour?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
You mean every week?
Speaker 10 (16:16):
I have every week, five times a week, five times?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Hold up with me, you don't. But am I a jukebox?
Speaker 7 (16:28):
Mister Montague? This is radio you. What's up?
Speaker 5 (16:31):
A couple?
Speaker 7 (16:31):
Nothing?
Speaker 10 (16:32):
Mister Springer, this is mister Edwin Montague, our Uncle good Heart?
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Now, how do you do?
Speaker 10 (16:37):
I was explaining certain things to mister Montague. He's new
in radio.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You went radio Zimza for the leading role on the
program as important as this. You use an unknown amateur,
an unknown amateur.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
Why are you filthy, little bitter Montague? This filthy little?
I mean this is good the producer who Linda.
Speaker 10 (16:59):
I but mister Springer, mister Montague is one of the
great actors of the legitimate stage. It was a stroke
of sheer luck to get him his uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Huh sorry I offended you, old man. Personally, I never
go to plays. I always say, give me the movies.
You see the best actors, and they let you smoke
in the balcony the movies, My dear sir, it's men
(17:28):
with brains like yours that make morons over confident.
Speaker 10 (17:34):
Rehearsal, okay, cash, let's go, no music, just a dry run.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Bartley and Melissa drive up. Sound.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
That must be the cottage over there.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Bartley, do you think he's home? Oh, he's got to be.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
It's our only hope. Oh, look, that must be he
coming to meet us. Hello, uncle good.
Speaker 10 (17:56):
Heart, Hello and bless Oh mister Montague, you were off
mic off, my guess. Please speak into the microphone.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
And I don't use the microphone.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
Yes, let's take it from I beg your pardon, mister monic.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I said I don't use a microphone.
Speaker 7 (18:17):
You don't use a microphone, And my good man, this.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Based seed space you. But I come from the euro
of the theater where an actor's voice did not need
the aid of these artificial doodads in order to be hurt.
My voice projection is famous. You know, take the very
last roll, if ever your refuse to be popping to
this mechanical subterfuge, mister Montague. Radio never, never, no, no,
(18:46):
now now now what's the trouble?
Speaker 10 (18:48):
Oh, nothing, mister Springer. It's just that mister Montague doesn't
want to use the microphone.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Now, now, if he doesn't want to use that, he
doesn't want to use the microphone. He doesn't want to
use the microphone. I assure you I could be heard
without a microphone. How about the people in Denver? Sinsor?
I hold you personally responsible.
Speaker 7 (19:09):
Please, mister Montague.
Speaker 10 (19:12):
Ever since I saw you in Macbeth when I was
just a child, you've been my idol. Please trust me
when I say in radio you have to speak into
a microphone.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Oh very well, so you saw me back there? Eh?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
There this. I will not yield to kiss the ground
before young malcomes feet and be beated with a rebel's curse.
I throw my wall like sieal long mactor. Eh, wonderful one,
(19:51):
mister Springer sinsor remember what I said. Without a microphone,
they wouldn't hear him in Denver.
Speaker 7 (19:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (19:58):
I think he could do it, but we'd better get on,
mister Montague. We'll take it from where Melissa and Bartley
approach you. Page five, page five, Oh Scar, it is.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
That must be the cottage over.
Speaker 7 (20:14):
There, Bartley, do you think he's home?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Oh, he's got to be.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
It's our only hope.
Speaker 11 (20:18):
Oh, look, that must be he coming to meet us.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Hello, Uncle good Heart, Hello, and bless you my children.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Why as I live and breathe?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
If it isn't Zeke chicklings, little girl, Melissa, Oh, Uncle
good Heart, and mercy be child for the way you're blushing.
I'll bet this tall, good looking bella with you as
your bowl. Now fist up.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
Please, mister Montague.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I should very much like to meet the writer of
this epic. I've never seen hi, I've never seen a
three year old operator typewriter before.
Speaker 10 (21:02):
Please, mister Montague, we're trying to get a timing. You're
a lying Bartley.
Speaker 12 (21:07):
I am Bartley Boswell, Uncle good Heart, Doc Boswell's son.
Speaker 11 (21:11):
Oh, Uncle good Heart. Something terrible has happened. Bartley and
I can't get married.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Come we we must look at the sunny side.
Speaker 7 (21:26):
Oh that, mister Montague. You have to speed that up.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
A little, speed it up.
Speaker 10 (21:34):
When you see me twirl my index finger like this,
it means speed it up.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
You're index finger, mister Zinza. I am an actor, not
an orchestra. And I refuse, I refuse to be conducted
like a three piece band. I shall read it as
I feed it, and you keep your finger out of it.
Speaker 7 (21:59):
But, mister Montague, the character.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Young man, are you telling me Edwin Montague how to
read a character?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
You are radio.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Director, the lowest point a man can sink to and
still stay out of jail for vagrants. Here you dare
to do what even the great Velasco never presumed to do.
Tell Edwin Montague how to play a character.
Speaker 10 (22:25):
One minute, mister Montague, the script is time for a
certain speed.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
You must fit into it.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I fit you This anthology of cliches, it must fit
into me, simsor cut right of this troublemaker. I'm going.
Speaker 10 (22:38):
Where's my hat, mister Montague, We're going on the air.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's a gray hamburg with a green feathers. That's what
it is.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Mister Montague. You can't walk out.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
I won't. I'll run.
Speaker 13 (22:56):
Chalamar Soap brings you Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
He was sent here by Sufferoni Soap. He's a dirty spine.
Oh you spie, I'll pull your nose off and let
the air out of your head.
Speaker 12 (23:18):
Quietly we find gentle kind, lovable Uncle good Heart seated
on the steps of his little vine covered cottage, waiting
to give.
Speaker 13 (23:29):
Comfort and counsel to the weary traveler.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Listen, said the show, speaking, mister.
Speaker 7 (23:38):
Montague, do the character anyway you want to?
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Anyway? Very well?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
That must be the cottage over there, Bartley.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Do you think he's home? Oh, he's got to be.
It's our only hope.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
Oh, look, that must be he coming to meet us.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Hello, Uncle good Heart.
Speaker 7 (23:59):
You're cute, you're cue. Here's your script?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Who needs a script?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
And bless you my children? Why I live and breeze
If it isn't zeke chickenings, this little saber toothed offspring
Melissa and without a leash. Oh no, I.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Don't kill him.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'll shooting.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Why Uncle good Heart?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You remember me only because you're absolutely impossible to forget.
And who is this with you? This creature with the
pre shrunk head.
Speaker 12 (24:43):
I'm Bartley Boswell, uncle good Heart, the doc boswell son.
Speaker 11 (24:47):
Oh, Uncle good Heart. Something terrible has happened. Bartley and
I can't get married.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I don't know which one of you to congratulate first. Still,
it would have been an extraordinary mat yet all reasons
(25:22):
that sounds awful.
Speaker 6 (25:23):
What else did he say on the program?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
Then he tells us Botley and miss Melissa there's only
one solution for their problem.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Get married, buy a little home, move in and turn
on the guests. Turn on the gag.
Speaker 7 (25:37):
Oh healthy.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
At the end of the show, they made an announcement.
The ideas expressed on this program are not necessarily those
of any human being.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
I'm so afraid something's happened to him. He's been an
hour since his program was over.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Maybe he's in jail. There must be a law against
what he did to the ages.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
This is no touch.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Can he comes.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Edwin?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
What happened? It's been over an hour.
Speaker 5 (26:03):
Shorry on, late, Dear.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I had to keep circling and backtracking to shake them
off my trains.
Speaker 6 (26:07):
Well, the phone has been ringing continually, and mister Zinzer
and mister Springer.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Have been trying to get you.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You didn't tell her where we live, Edwin. I think
Springer carries a gun. I saw him reaching for something
as he lunged at me when I ran out of
the studio. Should have caught you. I was at the
Birdwatcher's office.
Speaker 6 (26:25):
But Agnes heard the program, the whole thing, the whole thing.
Speaker 5 (26:29):
Even.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Lily, after what I did to it. Radio can never recover.
The theater shall live.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
Again, Oh, Agnes, there's someone at the door, Edwin, How
could you have?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Guys struck a blow for the theater?
Speaker 5 (26:51):
I stand here, brave, and I'm afraid, Lily.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Lily, shure the gentlemen this white boys, check your hardware.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
The man who brought you up the elevator is a
golden clothes champ. I can have him here in two seconds.
Mister Montague. If you wish me to crawl at your feet,
come on me, crawl at my feet.
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Mister Montague, Will you ever forgive my horrible presumption in
trying to tell you, the master, how to play a character.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
What is if you wish me to kiss your boots?
Command me? Look if you came up here just to
make love to my feet. The moment Uncle could Heart
went off the air, the telephone switched forth at the
station lit up like a Christmas tree.
Speaker 10 (27:38):
Listeners on over the country are still calling to tell us,
at last, a real, down to earth character has been
heard on radio, A real why man, you hit the
nation with the impact of a howitzer I did? How
could we have been so blind? It was you, with
your unerring dramatic sense. Who knew that the public wanted
a contrast to the sweet, kindly sentimental old homie radio characters.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
You gave them something new, assaulted, down to worth, real
living Uncle good Heart. It's the greatest thing since just
Plain bell a just plain who. One man telephoned all
away from Council Bluffs, Iowa, just to say, yuck, yuck, yuck.
(28:24):
It's sweeping the country can comesin Za. We must let
Uncle good Heart rest so he can reach new heights.
In tomorrow's episode, see.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
You in the morning, Mister Montague is here.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
They're crazy, They're madmen. People listen to that horrible thing.
I didn't, and they liked it.
Speaker 6 (28:45):
The Magnificent Molecule.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Does it again? What have I done? What have I done? For?
Speaker 6 (28:49):
Whatever you did, dream Boy, keep doing it.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
It means important, Kippers from now on, Lily, you've missed
the whole point. The whole point.
Speaker 5 (28:57):
Yes, it just truck pay here.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
I was doing my best to be bad and I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
What came out was great, Lily. I suspected it for
many years, but now at last I know I am
truly magnificent.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Go then next week and find out what happens when
the Magnificent Montague and Radio meat Head on. Remember next week,
same time, same station. It's The Magnificent Montague starring Marti Bolly,
created and written by Nap Hyken.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
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