December 24, 2024 • 33 mins
Hey Heart Buddies! For the last episode of 2024, I bring you one more bonus episode that was the most downloaded episode of 2024. Thank you to my childhood friend, Todd Sykes, for your willingness to tell your story. I love you.
Todd Sykes is a survivor and thriver of endocarditis, a stroke, and a brain aneurysm. At just 37, Todd faced life-threatening conditions during the COVID-19 pandemic, leading to two heart surgeries and a remarkable recovery. He shares powerful lessons on the importance of loving well, prioritizing family time, and being prepared with insurance and wills. Todd's story highlights resilience, faith, and the need for physical and emotional strength. Listeners are encouraged to cherish each moment and plan for unforeseen events to protect their loved ones. Todd's journey serves as an inspiring reminder of life's unpredictability and the power of hope.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
If there's a time to really try to cut out more time or
place more emphasis and value on loving well is. What
we like to say around here in my family is, you know, are we loving?
Well, right, just because you never know what's in
store, and so you want to create those good memories, right? So that even
if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved ones
(00:23):
to truly remember who you were and what you were about and
the legacy that, you know, you lived.
Welcome back to another episode of Open Heart surgery
with Boots. Today is a very
special conversation that I'm bringing to you
this man, Todd Sykes, that I'm so
(00:47):
excited to introduce you to. Todd and I
used to run around the block together as kids.
He was known as Toddy and I was known as Suzanne, my
first name. And we grew up together in
Edenton, North Carolina. And
now, thankfully, we have both made it into our forties.
(01:08):
Amazingly, we both have bicuspid valves.
He's about to share his journey with you. It's amazing how
we were both running around the block with these unknown congenital
defects and we lived wonderful childhoods
together. But now Todd is in his forties. He's got
four kids, Preston, Brayden, Josie and
(01:30):
Scarlett. He lives in Wake Forest, North Carolina,
and he is the owner and operator
of Freedom Benefits Source, which is an
independent employee benefits insurance agency. It's
amazing that he continues to run that business and he's going to
get into how he is navigating his life now, because
(01:52):
in 2020, Todd suffered endocarditis in addition
to a stroke and an intracranial mycotic
brain aneurysm. And he was hospitalized for
39 days in and out of the ICU,
a total of 16 days. They
repaired his heart with two mechanical heart valves via
(02:15):
open heart surgery and then coiled the aneurysm
through his groin. Whoa. He's going to have to go into that with
us. And he is
thinking now that maybe the bicuspid aortic valve caused all
of this, but we're going to get into that with him now. So, Todd,
thank you so much for coming on open heart surgery
(02:36):
with boots to share your story with us listeners, and it's just
so great to reconnect with you again. Yeah, and thank you for the invite,
boots. Appreciate that little background. Definitely was
fun times back then in childhood, but now we're all grown up and
I guess more thankful to even be alive after what we both
been through here over the past few years. Congratulations
(02:59):
on your recent successes. So, yeah, you know, it's. It's been a
trying time, you know, almost five years. Coming up next year since. Major
health crisis, life changing event, healthy as you could ask
for. At age 37. I was 42. I'm 42 now. I was age
37 at the time. And no known
conditions. Right? I ate well, I exercised, probably not as much as I
(03:21):
would like, but no medications, no chronic illnesses, diseases that I knew
of. And all of a sudden, I became ill in February of
2020, right after our third child, Josie, was
born. And then I would get well. Then I was really ill again, and well
and ill. And that was the case most the entire year. Extreme
flu like symptoms, 105 degree fevers at night, ten
(03:44):
blankets wrapped around me in the bed, still cold. Didn't know what was
going on, was going to every specialist known to man in wake
forest, and had about every test known to man done.
No one could figure out my situation. And so I
became severely anemic. I was going in for iron infusions every
two weeks, going to an independent hematologist. Oncologist.
(04:06):
Wasn't getting well there. I'd maybe feel better for a
day. And then it was right back to the same old symptoms.
I'm a loyal person by nature, and I really felt
that this independent doctor had my best interest at heart, and so I
didn't really want to take other measures to go seek
someone else. As far as a second opinion,
(04:28):
though, it did get to that point with the help of my parents and my
wife, who kept egging me on. I did request to
be seen somewhere else at least a couple of times from this
hematologist, and it actually did not happen. So it came down to the
point, boots, where, you know, I just had to pack the bag and go
check myself into the erde. And so October,
(04:50):
I could be wrong on the dates, but October 30, I believe,
2020, I looked at my wife. I was disabled on the couch. I was
living on the couch, sleeping mostly on the couch. Most every night. I told her
to pack a bag and take him to the ER. And that's when everything
really began, and that's when we started to really find out the severity
of my situation and what was actually going
(05:12):
on. And, of course, this is during COVID. Yes, it was
during COVID So, you know, another layer of the cake. Right, if you
will. I go to the ER. They do a ct scan.
They come back after, like, I don't know, quite a while and say,
yeah, all of your organs are enlarged. You would not have made it another week
or two if you didn't come today. And I'm saying, okay, well, what's
(05:34):
going on? And they said, well, we're trying to figure you out. You are now
going to the main hospital. So then they put me in an ambulance, gave
me some pain medicine, and sent me on my way to wake med
main, which is East Raleigh. And there I stayed for
39 days, but it took well over a week for them to finally
uncover and find that I had endocarditis. They did a
(05:56):
EKG after a few days and found
that, of course, the heart was significantly
impaired. Right. And they basically rushed me into heart
surgery. I think it was like, a day or two after that EKG
or echo. I'm sorry, it was echocardiogram. And for, you know,
for those mechanical heart valves surgery. How long was
(06:19):
it before they did the echocardiogram?
Oh, kind of going back to the details
conversation. I could be wrong, and I'm sure my wife
knows this exactly, but she's good for that. You
know, I think it was only a couple of days, really. You know, I think
that was pretty immediate. I don't think it was the day of. It might have
(06:41):
been this. It wasn't the day of. It was the day after. You know,
I think it was somewhat immediate. Right. If you want to call it that.
But I know that I think it was done on, like, a Saturday or Sunday,
and I don't think they could get me into surgery until that following Tuesday, if
my memory serves me correctly. But, you know, that can be a little
shaky now, for sure. Okay, so they replaced which
(07:02):
two valves again? The mitral and the
atrial. I'm sorry. Aortic. Aortic
and mitral. Okay, so then you thought you would be well
on your way. Yeah. So it was scheduled to be a four hour
surgery. It became an eight hour heart, open heart surgery.
Finally, by the grace of God, made it out of that
(07:24):
surgery. The day after was when things got
really hairy, actually. My heart started to fill up with fluid,
which I know is a very common occurrence in post heart
surgery patients, and that's one of the things that they monitor,
I think, quite often for everyone who goes through that type of surgery. But they
had tubes actually installed below
(07:47):
my heart to drain out the fluid. And then at
one point during all of that, in the recovery process from that
going on, they did have to rush me back into
surgery because I did almost pass away. I think that was probably the closest
call was post heart surgery. When my heart
started to fill up with fluid, I felt fine. You know, I'm laying in the
(08:09):
hospital bed, things seem normal. I'm cognitive. I'm
aware. I'm not in any pain, really. Right? And then all of a sudden, I
have 25 nurses in the room telling me something's going on, and I'm
saying, well, what is it? I feel fine. I. They said, no, it's not. It's
not okay. We have to take you to surgery. And then before you
know it, I'm. I'm on an operating table. So, yeah, that
(08:31):
was a. That was a close call. I think that was the point when my
wife. Because I think she had just gotten. She was there with
me. I don't know, every day, it seemed like at the hospital for the stretch
of 39 days. But I know it was really tough on her. You
know, it's really easy to kind of look at me and I. And kind
of go through my personal situation with the
(08:52):
health crisis. But she was really thrown for a loop, you know, during
this whole process, especially in the beginning, she didn't even know what was going on.
And the lack of the communication, partly because of
COVID processes, were really restrictive. But, yeah, that was
a close call. I believe when my heart started to fill up with fluid,
they were, of course, got that taken care of, under control.
(09:14):
So there I go, laying a hospital bed for days, in and out.
You know, they're. They're trying to monitor my progression, my recovery.
And it went well for the most part. I mean, I. As far as I
remember, I was eating normal. I don't think I was the best
patient. I was known to be a fighter. They
called me miracle man in the hospital a few times. I think I
(09:35):
definitely had some doctors and some, you know, nurses kind of
shaking their heads and trying to figure out how and why I'd survived, even when
I went through. And. And I definitely wasn't the easiest
patient. I think it was a little needy, you know? You know, 37, 38 year
old man is not used to being laid up in a hospital bed for that
long and knowing my kids were at home not seeing me and vice
(09:57):
versa. And, you know, I don't even think we barely facetimed just the pain
of having them see me in that situation. I felt like it would make
matters a little more worse, and. But, no, it was. It was
tough. So I was finally at the day where they
come into the. Into my room, and they say, todd, we believe you're well
enough to be discharged tomorrow. I say, wonderful.
(10:19):
Okay, so I'm going home, right? Like, hey, here. Here's the time I
get to see my kids, you know, I had seen them because my wife was
the only one allowed in the hospital. Kids were not allowed. Right. So
that day comes the next day. I get up in the morning, it's like
435 o'clock in the morning, and I have to go to the bathroom. I proceed
to get out of bed, and as my feet hit the floor, as soon as
(10:40):
they touch the floor, I drop straight to the floor code. Stroke is
called. I have 30 nurses in my room. In a matter of about 20
seconds, I had a stroke. Again, cognitively aware
of my situation, felt normal. Right. What's going
on? I feel fine. Well, no, you had a stroke.
Rushed to the operating table, here I am,
(11:02):
you know, having a stroke, which, of course then led to the mycotic brain
aneurysm. So now I'm getting a neurosurgeon involved to
try to help me overcome this, this
aneurysm. I believe at the time it was around ten or
12 mm. Don't quote me on that. But they did
have to go in through the groin intravenously
(11:24):
and coil the aneurysm, which I find
is just magnificent how they do that. And, yeah, it was
apparently a very, very tedious type of surgery because
where the aneurysm is located, which I do currently still
have, by the way, I think it's less than 2 moment.
But they had to be very careful because, you
(11:46):
know, of the placement of it. They could have easily made matters
worse if they tried to do anything more than coiling it, which
is why they haven't done anymore, because the
doctors here, and they pretty, I think they pretty much say any neurosurgeon,
for that matter, in the country may not decide to go
further in trying to take care of this
(12:09):
aneurysm more than we have, just because of the placement of where it is, because
it could lead to some more severe problems. So at the
moment, that's where we stand. You know, it's coiled still.
It's being monitored every two years. I'm going in for an MRA.
I just had one about a month ago. Nothing's changed. It's still
there. You know, there's probably a less than 2% risk for it to
(12:31):
rupture. So there is a risk, but it's very, very low. And
yeah, I see a cardiologist once a year. Right. So, I
mean, all things said, you know, it is a true
miracle that I am still sitting here
today, you know, talking through this with you and sharing to
the listeners because it's many, many wouldn't have made it
(12:53):
this far, right, going through what I went through in the hospital. And so I've
yet to really talk much about it. You know, I've explained it to
colleagues, friends, family, of course, haven't written down much of my
experience. That's something that I plan on doing, moving forward and trying to get in
a spot where I can do that, share my story, because I believe, you know,
there are people out there that are listening now or even that will listen in
(13:16):
the future that it could definitely help and empower. But I will
say, you know, it is by the grace of God I'm still here today. And
I will continue to give him credit because I felt his presence,
absolutely felt his presence, more than I ever have during that stay
in the hospital. I had a peace overwhelm me like I've never felt in my
life. It's still there, right? Maybe not as
(13:37):
present. I was there, but, you know, I
never was afraid, even if it was my time to go. I
remember feeling, you know, definitely not afraid whatsoever. The only thing
that scared the living daylights out of me was leaving my children,
newborn baby, my wife, at home, caring for the children,
leaving her in the situation that she was in, because we were
(13:59):
not prepared for me to leave this earth at that point in time. We did
not have an estate wheel trust set up. We had nothing prepared.
And if I would have passed, that would have just opened up a whole new
can of worms. But no, there's a whole different side of my story
with my wife and actually kind of wanted her to share. But
maybe we can save that for another time. But I think, you know, a lot
(14:21):
of people tend to look at the victim, the patients themselves, and not really the
family members. But, you know, believe me, she went through probably just as much, if
not more, than I did here at home. But no, by the grace of God,
we're here. We're, you know, I'm alive, kicking. I'm probably physically in better
shape than I've been. You know, I give. I get up every morning, a little
different perspective in life, on life, and definitely give my thanks and
(14:42):
prayers to being able to continue to live on this earth, to
care for my family and see what I can do to continue to help others
in the community as well. Thank you, Todd, for sharing all of
that. And it seems like you have come away with
some hard learned lessons, one of which
is having our affairs in order. Right?
(15:03):
So you said you didn't have anything set up
and you would have really, you know, it almost sounds like
a regret that things had not been put quite
in order. And I mean, I don't blame you. You were 37. We don't,
none of us think in our thirties that, or even
in our forties that something could happen. But life does
(15:26):
happen. Life does keep on lifing, as I like to say.
So is that some advice you would like to impart on
listeners is to be more
prepared, be more proactive in
making sure the back end is taken care of? Oh,
absolutely. And me being in the benefits world, I've been an insurance
(15:47):
broker now for almost 15 years. And of course
I was overly prepared for something like this to happen. I had
long term disability plan actually still paying out on me at the
moment. If you don't have one of those plans, and you are a breadwinner of
a family, you need one. Just that simple. So
it's really helped paint a testimony for me and my own business to
(16:10):
explain value, importance of benefits, especially the younger folks,
because many folks in their thirties, right, even forties, you know,
don't have insurance, right. Maybe they're, they don't have general
medical insurance. They especially don't have any supplemental plans.
I had two heart plans. I had a long term disability plan. So,
yeah, all of these paid. And, you know, again,
(16:32):
financially, through my situation, we actually came out ahead
because of all the supplemental plans. My blue cross blue
shield medical plan paid the hospital bill in full, which was well over
$700,000, paid 100%, not a dime out of
pocket, and all these other ancillary plans that I had paid
cash directly to me. So of course I'm not working, I'm not scaling the
(16:54):
business like I, of course, would have liked at the time. My wife didn't work,
hasn't worked for now about ten years now, starting a business, as I mentioned
earlier, but there was no income coming in on her side. But I
will say she works at home. Let me add that one. But yeah, I mean,
without it, we would have been toast, right? I mean, it would break financially,
anyone really, who wasn't prepared if they didn't have insurances.
(17:17):
And so not only that, but then you talk about the estate and the will,
which I did mention. I mean, I didn't, we didn't have that in place, so
we wouldn't, we would not have known if something were to happen where, you know,
that becomes, you know, just a melting pot
of things and negative things that can really
stem from not being prepared, especially in a tragic
(17:38):
loss situation that none of us are really prepared for. But it's hard to have
those conversations, most people don't want to talk about life insurance. They don't.
They don't see maybe the value because they feel they're healthy
and nothing's going to happen. Well, you know, I'm here to tell you that things
do happen, and they'll happen at a moment's notice, and at that
time, it's too late. Right. Like, right now, I need more life insurance.
(18:00):
Can't get it. I won't have. There's no insurance carrier. I'm
appointed with about 36 of them. They will not appoint. They will not
insure me at the moment. So, of course, with my current condition
still having the brain aneurysm, fortunately, I do have some.
You know, I don't believe it's enough. But going back to your point,
boots on, being prepared. I mean, I can't stress that enough,
(18:22):
really. Especially if there's people counting on you, loved ones at home, if you're
a breadwinner, absolutely. You need to be prepared. Take
it seriously. Healthy, not healthy. If you're not healthy, you may
have issues being insured, but maybe there's some carriers that a little bit more liberal
can. Can help you. But, you know, there's. There's options out there. You just
have to ask somebody. You know, feel free to ask me. You know, I know
(18:45):
a lot about it, and I've even got a firsthand testimony to speak on it
and how it's important. So. Yes, and
now that you've lived through this and you know that you have this
aneurysm in your brain, like, how different are you
living your life now compared to
before. Before 2020? It's funny you asked that,
(19:06):
because I got discharged from the hospital. I'm sorry. It was
October 29 to November 30, 2020,
when I was discharged. And I remember asking my
cardiologist at the time because we had a
snowboard trip planned, my son and I, and
I still wanted to go snowboarding. Right. And so I've got
(19:29):
an aneurysm. Right. Doctor, can I still go on the
trip? Well, it's only. It's still two or three months out. And I thought
for sure there'd be some protocol like, no. No physical
activity such as that. Right. For at least six
months. Not at all. That was not the case. He cleared me. Absolutely
cleared me, even, like, two, three months later. Said, you know, you're
(19:51):
pretty much on your own. You know, you're. You're kind of living at your own
risk, just kind of do what your heart feels and, you know, you
know your abilities better than anyone. But at this point, you
know, you are free to do what you need to do. And so
I ended up taking that snowboard trip with my son. And I don't think we
took but like two breaks for about 9 hours. We went out to, went out
(20:13):
to, I believe it was sugar and just had a, had a ball. And
so, and so since then, I've really kind of tried
to try to live life. Maybe not as close to
the edge as I did, but I still press the
limits. Not near as your caliber boots. I'm
not even close to, you know, your caliber as far
(20:35):
as the adrenaline pushing the limit topic. But, you know, I
do love to go surfing still, you know, I still love to do physical
activities, but I do have to remind myself and it's tough. It's hard, right,
to remind. Oh, wait, you got, you have an aneurysm, ty, like, slow down,
bud. You know, one. One wrong move and in the right spot
of, you know, and so I try to, I try to just
(20:58):
try to take each day as it comes and again wake up thankful
to live it and take breaks throughout the day
to keep my head, you know, where it needs to be and focused on, you
know, whatever it is I'm working on at the time. Stress is a killer for
me. I do get easily stressed and overworked. My
brain, I'll shut down if there's too much commotion, too much
(21:20):
stimulation. My brain just can't handle it and get a lot of that with four
kids. So that's, it's a daily occurrence. Trying to work through that,
you know, going back, you know, I do have, again, a lot of. A lot
of support, loving wife who's definitely there for me.
So I wouldn't be able to be here today living in the manner
I am, you know, without all of that and without
(21:43):
the help of our higher power. I call him God, Jesus. And
so he's there for me. I, again, I'm a
little closer to him today than I was, but I try to live a healthier
lifestyle. We try to eat well, right? You know, so your bodies are a
temple, right. So we need to take care of our bodies. And I think you're
very aware of that. Boots. You do a great job. It looks like, you know,
(22:04):
eat the right foods. Exercise is important. We have a family
trainer now, my wife and I, my two boys, we go to a
trainer once a week. My son's a big hockey player. We're
a big hockey family. Go Kane's. And so we love to go to
Hurricanes games. I love watching him play, but we're trying
to work towards his goals and help him meet his goals of making it
(22:26):
to the NHL because that's where he wants to go. And so I'm trying to.
Trying to get him back active and build up some, some lower body
strength. And, you know, I lost 50 pounds during that health crisis
boots and I lost pretty much all the muscle in my legs. And I'm just
now getting to the point where I can rebuild the muscles in my legs. And
so I've been wanting to get to see a trainer. I already know how to
(22:47):
work out. I've always really known. But I would say the trainer is probably more
from a motivational standpoint, just that once a week we see them on
Mondays and then that sets the tone for the rest of the week. You know,
then downstairs we have a small gym downstairs,
treadmill, elliptical, have a squat rack, few, few dumbbells. Right.
So, you know, exercise, strength training is kind of in the game for me
(23:08):
now. And that's something I'm really trying to focus on is rebuilding
my strength and, you know, muscles really, and just
trying to stay again on top of. Top of my health just because I have
a lot of people counting on me. And, you know, definitely got a different new
chapter here in the book that is presenting a whole new set of challenges. But
no, again, I think, you know, with those types of
(23:30):
things and that life, those lifestyle choices, hopefully we'll
provide some longevity and, you know, be able to see the
grandkids and, you know, the children get married one day and all the
above. Right? And then maybe my wife and I jumping in a mobile van to
come out to the tetons to. To snowboard with boots. Who knows? I don't
know. I'd love that. In
(23:52):
closing, thanks for sharing your story, by the way.
Again, I just have these flashbacks of you getting on my
nerves when we were kids.
Not me. No, no, no. I mean that the most loving
way. It's just
amazing how every heart patient I
(24:14):
have the privilege and honor of interviewing, you included.
It never ceases to amaze me the
power of the human spirit to bring us through
the toughest of circumstances and then to be
able to tell the story with a
reframe of hope and
(24:35):
perseverance and gratitude. I
would say that the unifying point of
view amongst all the heart patients I've interviewed now
is gratitude. And would
you say that? Or. Let me back up. My
last question for you is, what is
(24:57):
something you wish you could just give to everyone in the world?
Right? Now, from your lived experience. And I
say that because, you know, when I spoke on the TEDx stage,
I wanted to give away the perspective that we aren't
promised tomorrow and that I see a lot of the
world, or at least in the United States and our culture,
(25:20):
living, like, letting little things bother them
and staying in relationships, jobs,
whatever, that doesn't serve you. And for me,
with my journey, I have learned and now
actively every day, live out the perspective that
I only say yes to what feels right and I say no
(25:42):
to what doesn't feel right and I no longer abandon
myself. Right. And so that's, like what I want
to impart to everyone that's listening. From my point of
view. What is something that you want that you wish people
could, like, put into practice today from your experience?
If they never get to go through heart surgery and never get to go through
(26:04):
what you went through, like, what is a lesson you want them to
know? Well, I mean, that's a. I could. That could go in a
few directions, but, I mean, I don't know what choose one pops to mind
is just awareness of, you
know, what could potentially happen. Right. And the importance
of family time. Right. Like, you don't get time
(26:26):
back, so living out each moment really like
your last, because again, you really don't know.
Right. And so I think just living in each moment and
really being there. Right. And I have a really hard time with that
because, you know, I'm a business owner, so, you know, I'm on
technology a lot. You know, there's emails coming through. I'm always on my
(26:48):
phone. Phones are a killer. Right. And so
I'm the first to admit, you know, there's a problem there that I'm aware
of, but we're working there. But even with all that said,
it's. It's living each day like your last, truly
finding time with family, friends and
living those out undistracted. Right. And I feel like this
(27:10):
world is so full of distractions, especially
now in today's climate. Unfortunately, where we are as a country,
you know, it's family is even more important than ever now. And so I
feel like if there's a time to really try to cut out more
time or place more emphasis and value on loving,
well is what we like to say around here in my family is, you know,
(27:33):
are we loving? Well, right, just because you never know
what's in store and so you want to create those good memories. Right. So
that even if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved
ones to. To truly remember who you were and
what you were about and the legacy that, you know, you lived.
And so I think that's probably the biggest thing because I think
(27:55):
at the end of the day, you know, yes, we could be successful in our
careers. We can chase fame, money, fortune. Yeah, that's all great.
And I did that for ten years. Corporate in the insurance industry. That's why
I left it and became an independent broker, just because I was.
I felt a deep conviction of
trying to find and navigate ways, yes, to make
(28:17):
income, but to create more open space to spend for
family time. And so that's never been more important
than till after this health crisis. And, yep, still working
on, of course, that on a daily basis. But I'll say it's much,
much better than it. Than it was. But what we don't is want
people to wait till something may happen, right. What we want
(28:40):
listeners to really do is to take these things into serious
consideration and we pray nothing ever happens, but really try to
put these good practices in place today. Right. And
think, okay, what could I do? Maybe it's setting my phone aside
only for certain times of the day to check my email, or
maybe I get my responsibilities done before everyone gets up in the
(29:02):
morning, you know? So that's something that I'm still trying to work on when
it comes to working out and being physically in shape. But, yeah, family
time, you know, me as a family man, that's what's speaking to me,
and that's really what resonates with my heart, you know, as you ask that question.
Beautiful. That's a great place to end. Todd Sykes,
thank you so much for reconnecting with
(29:25):
me on open heart surgery with boots. I know your story is going to
help so many people, and I will have in the show
notes. If you want to reach out to Todd and thank him
for sharing a story, I'll have his contact
information there. And be sure if you haven't already
subscribed to this podcast. And the greatest thing you can
(29:47):
do for this podcast to help it grow is to leave a review
and share it with others. Please be sure to come back next week
for another inspiring story of hope,
inspiration, and healing. Thank you so much, boots.
If there's a time to really try to cut out more time or
place more emphasis and value on loving well is. What
we like to say around here in my family is, you know, are we loving?
Well, right, just because you never know what's in
store, and so you want to create those good memories, right? So that even
if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved ones
(00:23):
to truly remember who you were and what you were about and
the legacy that, you know, you lived.
Welcome back to another episode of Open Heart surgery
with Boots. Today is a very
special conversation that I'm bringing to you
this man, Todd Sykes, that I'm so
(00:47):
excited to introduce you to. Todd and I
used to run around the block together as kids.
He was known as Toddy and I was known as Suzanne, my
first name. And we grew up together in
Edenton, North Carolina. And
now, thankfully, we have both made it into our forties.
(01:08):
Amazingly, we both have bicuspid valves.
He's about to share his journey with you. It's amazing how
we were both running around the block with these unknown congenital
defects and we lived wonderful childhoods
together. But now Todd is in his forties. He's got
four kids, Preston, Brayden, Josie and
(01:30):
Scarlett. He lives in Wake Forest, North Carolina,
and he is the owner and operator
of Freedom Benefits Source, which is an
independent employee benefits insurance agency. It's
amazing that he continues to run that business and he's going to
get into how he is navigating his life now, because
(01:52):
in 2020, Todd suffered endocarditis in addition
to a stroke and an intracranial mycotic
brain aneurysm. And he was hospitalized for
39 days in and out of the ICU,
a total of 16 days. They
repaired his heart with two mechanical heart valves via
(02:15):
open heart surgery and then coiled the aneurysm
through his groin. Whoa. He's going to have to go into that with
us. And he is
thinking now that maybe the bicuspid aortic valve caused all
of this, but we're going to get into that with him now. So, Todd,
thank you so much for coming on open heart surgery
(02:36):
with boots to share your story with us listeners, and it's just
so great to reconnect with you again. Yeah, and thank you for the invite,
boots. Appreciate that little background. Definitely was
fun times back then in childhood, but now we're all grown up and
I guess more thankful to even be alive after what we both
been through here over the past few years. Congratulations
(02:59):
on your recent successes. So, yeah, you know, it's. It's been a
trying time, you know, almost five years. Coming up next year since. Major
health crisis, life changing event, healthy as you could ask
for. At age 37. I was 42. I'm 42 now. I was age
37 at the time. And no known
conditions. Right? I ate well, I exercised, probably not as much as I
(03:21):
would like, but no medications, no chronic illnesses, diseases that I knew
of. And all of a sudden, I became ill in February of
2020, right after our third child, Josie, was
born. And then I would get well. Then I was really ill again, and well
and ill. And that was the case most the entire year. Extreme
flu like symptoms, 105 degree fevers at night, ten
(03:44):
blankets wrapped around me in the bed, still cold. Didn't know what was
going on, was going to every specialist known to man in wake
forest, and had about every test known to man done.
No one could figure out my situation. And so I
became severely anemic. I was going in for iron infusions every
two weeks, going to an independent hematologist. Oncologist.
(04:06):
Wasn't getting well there. I'd maybe feel better for a
day. And then it was right back to the same old symptoms.
I'm a loyal person by nature, and I really felt
that this independent doctor had my best interest at heart, and so I
didn't really want to take other measures to go seek
someone else. As far as a second opinion,
(04:28):
though, it did get to that point with the help of my parents and my
wife, who kept egging me on. I did request to
be seen somewhere else at least a couple of times from this
hematologist, and it actually did not happen. So it came down to the
point, boots, where, you know, I just had to pack the bag and go
check myself into the erde. And so October,
(04:50):
I could be wrong on the dates, but October 30, I believe,
2020, I looked at my wife. I was disabled on the couch. I was
living on the couch, sleeping mostly on the couch. Most every night. I told her
to pack a bag and take him to the ER. And that's when everything
really began, and that's when we started to really find out the severity
of my situation and what was actually going
(05:12):
on. And, of course, this is during COVID. Yes, it was
during COVID So, you know, another layer of the cake. Right, if you
will. I go to the ER. They do a ct scan.
They come back after, like, I don't know, quite a while and say,
yeah, all of your organs are enlarged. You would not have made it another week
or two if you didn't come today. And I'm saying, okay, well, what's
(05:34):
going on? And they said, well, we're trying to figure you out. You are now
going to the main hospital. So then they put me in an ambulance, gave
me some pain medicine, and sent me on my way to wake med
main, which is East Raleigh. And there I stayed for
39 days, but it took well over a week for them to finally
uncover and find that I had endocarditis. They did a
(05:56):
EKG after a few days and found
that, of course, the heart was significantly
impaired. Right. And they basically rushed me into heart
surgery. I think it was like, a day or two after that EKG
or echo. I'm sorry, it was echocardiogram. And for, you know,
for those mechanical heart valves surgery. How long was
(06:19):
it before they did the echocardiogram?
Oh, kind of going back to the details
conversation. I could be wrong, and I'm sure my wife
knows this exactly, but she's good for that. You
know, I think it was only a couple of days, really. You know, I think
that was pretty immediate. I don't think it was the day of. It might have
(06:41):
been this. It wasn't the day of. It was the day after. You know,
I think it was somewhat immediate. Right. If you want to call it that.
But I know that I think it was done on, like, a Saturday or Sunday,
and I don't think they could get me into surgery until that following Tuesday, if
my memory serves me correctly. But, you know, that can be a little
shaky now, for sure. Okay, so they replaced which
(07:02):
two valves again? The mitral and the
atrial. I'm sorry. Aortic. Aortic
and mitral. Okay, so then you thought you would be well
on your way. Yeah. So it was scheduled to be a four hour
surgery. It became an eight hour heart, open heart surgery.
Finally, by the grace of God, made it out of that
(07:24):
surgery. The day after was when things got
really hairy, actually. My heart started to fill up with fluid,
which I know is a very common occurrence in post heart
surgery patients, and that's one of the things that they monitor,
I think, quite often for everyone who goes through that type of surgery. But they
had tubes actually installed below
(07:47):
my heart to drain out the fluid. And then at
one point during all of that, in the recovery process from that
going on, they did have to rush me back into
surgery because I did almost pass away. I think that was probably the closest
call was post heart surgery. When my heart
started to fill up with fluid, I felt fine. You know, I'm laying in the
(08:09):
hospital bed, things seem normal. I'm cognitive. I'm
aware. I'm not in any pain, really. Right? And then all of a sudden, I
have 25 nurses in the room telling me something's going on, and I'm
saying, well, what is it? I feel fine. I. They said, no, it's not. It's
not okay. We have to take you to surgery. And then before you
know it, I'm. I'm on an operating table. So, yeah, that
(08:31):
was a. That was a close call. I think that was the point when my
wife. Because I think she had just gotten. She was there with
me. I don't know, every day, it seemed like at the hospital for the stretch
of 39 days. But I know it was really tough on her. You
know, it's really easy to kind of look at me and I. And kind
of go through my personal situation with the
(08:52):
health crisis. But she was really thrown for a loop, you know, during
this whole process, especially in the beginning, she didn't even know what was going on.
And the lack of the communication, partly because of
COVID processes, were really restrictive. But, yeah, that was
a close call. I believe when my heart started to fill up with fluid,
they were, of course, got that taken care of, under control.
(09:14):
So there I go, laying a hospital bed for days, in and out.
You know, they're. They're trying to monitor my progression, my recovery.
And it went well for the most part. I mean, I. As far as I
remember, I was eating normal. I don't think I was the best
patient. I was known to be a fighter. They
called me miracle man in the hospital a few times. I think I
(09:35):
definitely had some doctors and some, you know, nurses kind of
shaking their heads and trying to figure out how and why I'd survived, even when
I went through. And. And I definitely wasn't the easiest
patient. I think it was a little needy, you know? You know, 37, 38 year
old man is not used to being laid up in a hospital bed for that
long and knowing my kids were at home not seeing me and vice
(09:57):
versa. And, you know, I don't even think we barely facetimed just the pain
of having them see me in that situation. I felt like it would make
matters a little more worse, and. But, no, it was. It was
tough. So I was finally at the day where they
come into the. Into my room, and they say, todd, we believe you're well
enough to be discharged tomorrow. I say, wonderful.
(10:19):
Okay, so I'm going home, right? Like, hey, here. Here's the time I
get to see my kids, you know, I had seen them because my wife was
the only one allowed in the hospital. Kids were not allowed. Right. So
that day comes the next day. I get up in the morning, it's like
435 o'clock in the morning, and I have to go to the bathroom. I proceed
to get out of bed, and as my feet hit the floor, as soon as
(10:40):
they touch the floor, I drop straight to the floor code. Stroke is
called. I have 30 nurses in my room. In a matter of about 20
seconds, I had a stroke. Again, cognitively aware
of my situation, felt normal. Right. What's going
on? I feel fine. Well, no, you had a stroke.
Rushed to the operating table, here I am,
(11:02):
you know, having a stroke, which, of course then led to the mycotic brain
aneurysm. So now I'm getting a neurosurgeon involved to
try to help me overcome this, this
aneurysm. I believe at the time it was around ten or
12 mm. Don't quote me on that. But they did
have to go in through the groin intravenously
(11:24):
and coil the aneurysm, which I find
is just magnificent how they do that. And, yeah, it was
apparently a very, very tedious type of surgery because
where the aneurysm is located, which I do currently still
have, by the way, I think it's less than 2 moment.
But they had to be very careful because, you
(11:46):
know, of the placement of it. They could have easily made matters
worse if they tried to do anything more than coiling it, which
is why they haven't done anymore, because the
doctors here, and they pretty, I think they pretty much say any neurosurgeon,
for that matter, in the country may not decide to go
further in trying to take care of this
(12:09):
aneurysm more than we have, just because of the placement of where it is, because
it could lead to some more severe problems. So at the
moment, that's where we stand. You know, it's coiled still.
It's being monitored every two years. I'm going in for an MRA.
I just had one about a month ago. Nothing's changed. It's still
there. You know, there's probably a less than 2% risk for it to
(12:31):
rupture. So there is a risk, but it's very, very low. And
yeah, I see a cardiologist once a year. Right. So, I
mean, all things said, you know, it is a true
miracle that I am still sitting here
today, you know, talking through this with you and sharing to
the listeners because it's many, many wouldn't have made it
(12:53):
this far, right, going through what I went through in the hospital. And so I've
yet to really talk much about it. You know, I've explained it to
colleagues, friends, family, of course, haven't written down much of my
experience. That's something that I plan on doing, moving forward and trying to get in
a spot where I can do that, share my story, because I believe, you know,
there are people out there that are listening now or even that will listen in
(13:16):
the future that it could definitely help and empower. But I will
say, you know, it is by the grace of God I'm still here today. And
I will continue to give him credit because I felt his presence,
absolutely felt his presence, more than I ever have during that stay
in the hospital. I had a peace overwhelm me like I've never felt in my
life. It's still there, right? Maybe not as
(13:37):
present. I was there, but, you know, I
never was afraid, even if it was my time to go. I
remember feeling, you know, definitely not afraid whatsoever. The only thing
that scared the living daylights out of me was leaving my children,
newborn baby, my wife, at home, caring for the children,
leaving her in the situation that she was in, because we were
(13:59):
not prepared for me to leave this earth at that point in time. We did
not have an estate wheel trust set up. We had nothing prepared.
And if I would have passed, that would have just opened up a whole new
can of worms. But no, there's a whole different side of my story
with my wife and actually kind of wanted her to share. But
maybe we can save that for another time. But I think, you know, a lot
(14:21):
of people tend to look at the victim, the patients themselves, and not really the
family members. But, you know, believe me, she went through probably just as much, if
not more, than I did here at home. But no, by the grace of God,
we're here. We're, you know, I'm alive, kicking. I'm probably physically in better
shape than I've been. You know, I give. I get up every morning, a little
different perspective in life, on life, and definitely give my thanks and
(14:42):
prayers to being able to continue to live on this earth, to
care for my family and see what I can do to continue to help others
in the community as well. Thank you, Todd, for sharing all of
that. And it seems like you have come away with
some hard learned lessons, one of which
is having our affairs in order. Right?
(15:03):
So you said you didn't have anything set up
and you would have really, you know, it almost sounds like
a regret that things had not been put quite
in order. And I mean, I don't blame you. You were 37. We don't,
none of us think in our thirties that, or even
in our forties that something could happen. But life does
(15:26):
happen. Life does keep on lifing, as I like to say.
So is that some advice you would like to impart on
listeners is to be more
prepared, be more proactive in
making sure the back end is taken care of? Oh,
absolutely. And me being in the benefits world, I've been an insurance
(15:47):
broker now for almost 15 years. And of course
I was overly prepared for something like this to happen. I had
long term disability plan actually still paying out on me at the
moment. If you don't have one of those plans, and you are a breadwinner of
a family, you need one. Just that simple. So
it's really helped paint a testimony for me and my own business to
(16:10):
explain value, importance of benefits, especially the younger folks,
because many folks in their thirties, right, even forties, you know,
don't have insurance, right. Maybe they're, they don't have general
medical insurance. They especially don't have any supplemental plans.
I had two heart plans. I had a long term disability plan. So,
yeah, all of these paid. And, you know, again,
(16:32):
financially, through my situation, we actually came out ahead
because of all the supplemental plans. My blue cross blue
shield medical plan paid the hospital bill in full, which was well over
$700,000, paid 100%, not a dime out of
pocket, and all these other ancillary plans that I had paid
cash directly to me. So of course I'm not working, I'm not scaling the
(16:54):
business like I, of course, would have liked at the time. My wife didn't work,
hasn't worked for now about ten years now, starting a business, as I mentioned
earlier, but there was no income coming in on her side. But I
will say she works at home. Let me add that one. But yeah, I mean,
without it, we would have been toast, right? I mean, it would break financially,
anyone really, who wasn't prepared if they didn't have insurances.
(17:17):
And so not only that, but then you talk about the estate and the will,
which I did mention. I mean, I didn't, we didn't have that in place, so
we wouldn't, we would not have known if something were to happen where, you know,
that becomes, you know, just a melting pot
of things and negative things that can really
stem from not being prepared, especially in a tragic
(17:38):
loss situation that none of us are really prepared for. But it's hard to have
those conversations, most people don't want to talk about life insurance. They don't.
They don't see maybe the value because they feel they're healthy
and nothing's going to happen. Well, you know, I'm here to tell you that things
do happen, and they'll happen at a moment's notice, and at that
time, it's too late. Right. Like, right now, I need more life insurance.
(18:00):
Can't get it. I won't have. There's no insurance carrier. I'm
appointed with about 36 of them. They will not appoint. They will not
insure me at the moment. So, of course, with my current condition
still having the brain aneurysm, fortunately, I do have some.
You know, I don't believe it's enough. But going back to your point,
boots on, being prepared. I mean, I can't stress that enough,
(18:22):
really. Especially if there's people counting on you, loved ones at home, if you're
a breadwinner, absolutely. You need to be prepared. Take
it seriously. Healthy, not healthy. If you're not healthy, you may
have issues being insured, but maybe there's some carriers that a little bit more liberal
can. Can help you. But, you know, there's. There's options out there. You just
have to ask somebody. You know, feel free to ask me. You know, I know
(18:45):
a lot about it, and I've even got a firsthand testimony to speak on it
and how it's important. So. Yes, and
now that you've lived through this and you know that you have this
aneurysm in your brain, like, how different are you
living your life now compared to
before. Before 2020? It's funny you asked that,
(19:06):
because I got discharged from the hospital. I'm sorry. It was
October 29 to November 30, 2020,
when I was discharged. And I remember asking my
cardiologist at the time because we had a
snowboard trip planned, my son and I, and
I still wanted to go snowboarding. Right. And so I've got
(19:29):
an aneurysm. Right. Doctor, can I still go on the
trip? Well, it's only. It's still two or three months out. And I thought
for sure there'd be some protocol like, no. No physical
activity such as that. Right. For at least six
months. Not at all. That was not the case. He cleared me. Absolutely
cleared me, even, like, two, three months later. Said, you know, you're
(19:51):
pretty much on your own. You know, you're. You're kind of living at your own
risk, just kind of do what your heart feels and, you know, you
know your abilities better than anyone. But at this point, you
know, you are free to do what you need to do. And so
I ended up taking that snowboard trip with my son. And I don't think we
took but like two breaks for about 9 hours. We went out to, went out
(20:13):
to, I believe it was sugar and just had a, had a ball. And
so, and so since then, I've really kind of tried
to try to live life. Maybe not as close to
the edge as I did, but I still press the
limits. Not near as your caliber boots. I'm
not even close to, you know, your caliber as far
(20:35):
as the adrenaline pushing the limit topic. But, you know, I
do love to go surfing still, you know, I still love to do physical
activities, but I do have to remind myself and it's tough. It's hard, right,
to remind. Oh, wait, you got, you have an aneurysm, ty, like, slow down,
bud. You know, one. One wrong move and in the right spot
of, you know, and so I try to, I try to just
(20:58):
try to take each day as it comes and again wake up thankful
to live it and take breaks throughout the day
to keep my head, you know, where it needs to be and focused on, you
know, whatever it is I'm working on at the time. Stress is a killer for
me. I do get easily stressed and overworked. My
brain, I'll shut down if there's too much commotion, too much
(21:20):
stimulation. My brain just can't handle it and get a lot of that with four
kids. So that's, it's a daily occurrence. Trying to work through that,
you know, going back, you know, I do have, again, a lot of. A lot
of support, loving wife who's definitely there for me.
So I wouldn't be able to be here today living in the manner
I am, you know, without all of that and without
(21:43):
the help of our higher power. I call him God, Jesus. And
so he's there for me. I, again, I'm a
little closer to him today than I was, but I try to live a healthier
lifestyle. We try to eat well, right? You know, so your bodies are a
temple, right. So we need to take care of our bodies. And I think you're
very aware of that. Boots. You do a great job. It looks like, you know,
(22:04):
eat the right foods. Exercise is important. We have a family
trainer now, my wife and I, my two boys, we go to a
trainer once a week. My son's a big hockey player. We're
a big hockey family. Go Kane's. And so we love to go to
Hurricanes games. I love watching him play, but we're trying
to work towards his goals and help him meet his goals of making it
(22:26):
to the NHL because that's where he wants to go. And so I'm trying to.
Trying to get him back active and build up some, some lower body
strength. And, you know, I lost 50 pounds during that health crisis
boots and I lost pretty much all the muscle in my legs. And I'm just
now getting to the point where I can rebuild the muscles in my legs. And
so I've been wanting to get to see a trainer. I already know how to
(22:47):
work out. I've always really known. But I would say the trainer is probably more
from a motivational standpoint, just that once a week we see them on
Mondays and then that sets the tone for the rest of the week. You know,
then downstairs we have a small gym downstairs,
treadmill, elliptical, have a squat rack, few, few dumbbells. Right.
So, you know, exercise, strength training is kind of in the game for me
(23:08):
now. And that's something I'm really trying to focus on is rebuilding
my strength and, you know, muscles really, and just
trying to stay again on top of. Top of my health just because I have
a lot of people counting on me. And, you know, definitely got a different new
chapter here in the book that is presenting a whole new set of challenges. But
no, again, I think, you know, with those types of
(23:30):
things and that life, those lifestyle choices, hopefully we'll
provide some longevity and, you know, be able to see the
grandkids and, you know, the children get married one day and all the
above. Right? And then maybe my wife and I jumping in a mobile van to
come out to the tetons to. To snowboard with boots. Who knows? I don't
know. I'd love that. In
(23:52):
closing, thanks for sharing your story, by the way.
Again, I just have these flashbacks of you getting on my
nerves when we were kids.
Not me. No, no, no. I mean that the most loving
way. It's just
amazing how every heart patient I
(24:14):
have the privilege and honor of interviewing, you included.
It never ceases to amaze me the
power of the human spirit to bring us through
the toughest of circumstances and then to be
able to tell the story with a
reframe of hope and
(24:35):
perseverance and gratitude. I
would say that the unifying point of
view amongst all the heart patients I've interviewed now
is gratitude. And would
you say that? Or. Let me back up. My
last question for you is, what is
(24:57):
something you wish you could just give to everyone in the world?
Right? Now, from your lived experience. And I
say that because, you know, when I spoke on the TEDx stage,
I wanted to give away the perspective that we aren't
promised tomorrow and that I see a lot of the
world, or at least in the United States and our culture,
(25:20):
living, like, letting little things bother them
and staying in relationships, jobs,
whatever, that doesn't serve you. And for me,
with my journey, I have learned and now
actively every day, live out the perspective that
I only say yes to what feels right and I say no
(25:42):
to what doesn't feel right and I no longer abandon
myself. Right. And so that's, like what I want
to impart to everyone that's listening. From my point of
view. What is something that you want that you wish people
could, like, put into practice today from your experience?
If they never get to go through heart surgery and never get to go through
(26:04):
what you went through, like, what is a lesson you want them to
know? Well, I mean, that's a. I could. That could go in a
few directions, but, I mean, I don't know what choose one pops to mind
is just awareness of, you
know, what could potentially happen. Right. And the importance
of family time. Right. Like, you don't get time
(26:26):
back, so living out each moment really like
your last, because again, you really don't know.
Right. And so I think just living in each moment and
really being there. Right. And I have a really hard time with that
because, you know, I'm a business owner, so, you know, I'm on
technology a lot. You know, there's emails coming through. I'm always on my
(26:48):
phone. Phones are a killer. Right. And so
I'm the first to admit, you know, there's a problem there that I'm aware
of, but we're working there. But even with all that said,
it's. It's living each day like your last, truly
finding time with family, friends and
living those out undistracted. Right. And I feel like this
(27:10):
world is so full of distractions, especially
now in today's climate. Unfortunately, where we are as a country,
you know, it's family is even more important than ever now. And so I
feel like if there's a time to really try to cut out more
time or place more emphasis and value on loving,
well is what we like to say around here in my family is, you know,
(27:33):
are we loving? Well, right, just because you never know
what's in store and so you want to create those good memories. Right. So
that even if something does happen, you know, there's some good memories for your loved
ones to. To truly remember who you were and
what you were about and the legacy that, you know, you lived.
And so I think that's probably the biggest thing because I think
(27:55):
at the end of the day, you know, yes, we could be successful in our
careers. We can chase fame, money, fortune. Yeah, that's all great.
And I did that for ten years. Corporate in the insurance industry. That's why
I left it and became an independent broker, just because I was.
I felt a deep conviction of
trying to find and navigate ways, yes, to make
(28:17):
income, but to create more open space to spend for
family time. And so that's never been more important
than till after this health crisis. And, yep, still working
on, of course, that on a daily basis. But I'll say it's much,
much better than it. Than it was. But what we don't is want
people to wait till something may happen, right. What we want
(28:40):
listeners to really do is to take these things into serious
consideration and we pray nothing ever happens, but really try to
put these good practices in place today. Right. And
think, okay, what could I do? Maybe it's setting my phone aside
only for certain times of the day to check my email, or
maybe I get my responsibilities done before everyone gets up in the
(29:02):
morning, you know? So that's something that I'm still trying to work on when
it comes to working out and being physically in shape. But, yeah, family
time, you know, me as a family man, that's what's speaking to me,
and that's really what resonates with my heart, you know, as you ask that question.
Beautiful. That's a great place to end. Todd Sykes,
thank you so much for reconnecting with
(29:25):
me on open heart surgery with boots. I know your story is going to
help so many people, and I will have in the show
notes. If you want to reach out to Todd and thank him
for sharing a story, I'll have his contact
information there. And be sure if you haven't already
subscribed to this podcast. And the greatest thing you can
(29:47):
do for this podcast to help it grow is to leave a review
and share it with others. Please be sure to come back next week
for another inspiring story of hope,
inspiration, and healing. Thank you so much, boots.
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