March 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Quick funny clips from the Opie Radio podcast with Food Network legend Carl Ruiz, Theo Von, Sherrod Small, Jamey Jasta from Hatebreed and radio legend Mike Calta. Get ready for a wild and hilarious ride with this episode of Comedy Quick Hits, the side-splitting spin-off from the Opie Radio podcast! This time, we’re serving up a feast of laughs with the late, great Food Network icon Carl Ruiz as the centerpiece, dreaming up his ultimate meal in a way only he could. But that’s just the appetizer—Opie and the crew dig into a smorgasbord of gut-busting topics, from dentist chair confessions and rage-fueled rants to the bizarre business of selling your own poop and nostalgic trips down childhood memory lane, all delivered with their signature irreverent humor. This episode is packed with killer clips featuring comedy heavyweights like Theo Von, Sherrod Small, Hatebreed’s Jamey Jasta, and radio titan Mike Calta, each bringing their A-game to the mic. It’s a chaotic, laugh-out-loud mashup of the best moments from the Opie Radio archives, stitched together for maximum hilarity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you want a choice to bang your dream girl
or eat your dream meal, and you can only do one,
which one would you choose? And the other? If you belone,
you choose the livery one's gone forever. The fucking food, bro,
I know, would your food?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm too old?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I mean, what's the point the problem with it?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Listen twenty years ago, when when I didn't look like
a fucking veal, I would.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I don't want to be the hottest run known.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
She's looking at my like be cup fucking chests and hip.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's done, man, Like, I don't even want to. I'll
just take glow jobs.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
At this point and eat a chocolate like I'm done.
But I don't even want to have fucking sex. And
you know what, I'm glad you brought that out. I'm
disgusted with myself.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
THEO varr what's going on, buddy? Oh, good to see
you gentlemen today. Then you just met Mike Caltah. THEO
was on my show a long time ago. I really yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
But when you first started comedy with Bert, Bert was like,
THEO is coming and I go the mn TV and
he goes, no, he's fucking He's funny. He's crazy, and
yeah you would not you were like somebody who just
did bat salts. Oh really yeah four best, Yeah, you
were doing it before it was cool.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
But pioneering different. Absolutely, that's a great definition of the
I think. Look, dude, I'll I'll test out some sodium. Brother,
you'll take that right. I'll try some things.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
Man, I've been I've been up and down that periodic
table due with a pipe.
Speaker 7 (01:15):
What would your dream meal be, though? The one fucking
It's gotta be courses. It's gotta be courses. But it's
gonna start with I think one of the best things
in the world, which is scrambled eggs.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Okay, scrambled eggs made with a little cramp fresh you
can put like when you put sour creem in and
scrambled eggs and make them moist with a little dab
of caveat on top.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I'd start fancy that's.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
When I started scrambled eggs. Out of everything you could eat.
He never had that egg caveat sandwich down to heal
a broke person.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
He's talking like old treet Oh my god, to get
this dick back and shape going down there for that,
And then I would have look a look at that man.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Kenny is the most excited to see it. Yeah, show today, Mike. Yeah,
he's got a hot chick that works for him. All right.
Oh that's really like we could talk about. She did
a boxing match and she won. She box another chick
at the radio station. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Yeah, it was pretty good chick, not as pretty as
she wasn't.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Ugly at all.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
She's got a great body, like they both work out,
but mine.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So the pretty one beat up the ugly one.
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Yah.
Speaker 10 (02:25):
Yeah, twenty That's how I see it because I wasn't there.
That's that's not nice, but it's completely acceptable in this
new world of ours.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The Trump Trump world. In the Trump world, pretty girls
beat up ugly girls. I think, Wow, you would start
your dream meal.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
That would be That would be my dream meal. Then
second I'm telling it, I would.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I would get a dry, maybe thirty or forty forty.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Day dry aged ribbi with a fucking bone in it.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, you gotta have the bone in And I would.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I would roasted medium rare, just perfect, any of it,
never on a pant, just let it really.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Really get anything on it.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's just salt, really good salt. Maybe Hawaiian pink salt,
which is incredible. Really, it's pink.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It comes from the volcanoes in Hawaiian and it's.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
A salt that just it'll make me cry as an adult.
Speaker 10 (03:15):
We've had the pink salt in our house talking it's
so isn't it good?
Speaker 11 (03:19):
It actually is him Malayan salt.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Look at that, Look at that. That's what I call it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
So I get that that would be the second course.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, I didn't know how it is with the security
because I didn't want to get held up down there.
I'm sure you've had it where people get stuck down
there and you're.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like, oh god, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (03:34):
I saw one of the dudes from Pink Floyd arguing
with the people at the desk. It was about a
year ago, and he's trying to convince the people at
the desk I'm in Pink Floyd and they didn't give up, fought,
they still needed to see his idea.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It wasn't Waters or Yeah or Gilmore.
Speaker 10 (03:49):
It was the other dude, pink first name right, I
forgot his name though, offhand, but whatever, I saw him
try to convince the people to just let him up,
and then I'd start to slow it down.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Would you do a side with the with the rabbi.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I just want to eat the Okay, I just want
to eat it. I just wanted a little piece of it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And this would be a luxury.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
So I would just try the stuff and then throw
it on the ground.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Well, I'll be waiting for it.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I'd have my whole family there, and.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Because that's part of the part of the luxury.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
You know, things aren't luxurious unless somebody's wanted besides you.
Speaker 10 (04:27):
Oh, Nick Mason, thank you. It was Nicknack that was
driving me nuts. Nick Mason from Pink Floyd.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Thank you to Sorry.
Speaker 10 (04:33):
We'll go back to you in a second. Eddie g
with a lot of ease. Thank you, Eddie, You're a
good one. On Twitter, yeah, it was Nick Mason was
at the front desk and the name was driving me nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I couldn't rememind using his hands and stuff. And it's
obvious he's so famous. He doesn't have an idea. I
guess he's.
Speaker 10 (04:49):
Used to just saying I'm from Pink Floyd and they
just wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I would.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I love leg a lamb, I love lamb chops.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I'd have those.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And one of my favorite things is scalloped potatoes, old
school done right.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
There's nothing better. I'm wing scalloped potatoes. Holy ship that
went on that top with a little rose Marian, I
mean scalf potatoes. I mean it doesn't get It's so
simple and beautiful.
Speaker 11 (05:17):
You know how many people hate that too?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well? I hate them. Yeah, people hate scalloped potatoes. Yah. Done.
Whoever hates scalped potatoes kicks dogs. They got to be done.
They got crispy. They gotta be crispy. I like a
little crystal, Yes, a little crisp. Do you ever come
out in Tampa in the area.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
I was a long long time ago. I went to
Tampa a long time.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
That's like, it's awkward, bro, It's like gentrif. It's like, yeah,
gentrifyed but all it's like thuggus.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's like gay.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
I was like, but gay, Like there was a thug
was like, give me all your money and let me
suck your dish for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And when you go dessert, are we done with the no?
No no? After that, I probably I go cold. You
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I probably do You know what? I love shrimp fucking cocktail? Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
You can't go wrong?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Done right, spicy, spicy with a lot of horse not spicy,
but with horse ratt but but but the real horse radders.
Don't give me no golds in a fucking can that
ship that.
Speaker 11 (06:21):
Comes from Lancaster. Yeah. Yeah, you want to shave it off,
your fresh making American.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
You want to shave it off yourself, shave it off.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
No, I'm not touching anything. I'm going to have someone
do it.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Does dream.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, I'm not touching anything. And look at that.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But a good shrimp cocktail and that'll ease me into it.
And then I'll probably.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Eat cheeses for an hour, cheesus.
Speaker 11 (06:44):
For an hour.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So I was in Tampa for like a minute. Is
that where you adopted Eric? In Orlando multiple visits, I
met Eric pretty much had the trucks.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
A cracker barrel on the way to uh Where was
I going that time?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Miami?
Speaker 10 (07:01):
I think right, No, I was going to the n
AHL All Star Game. I was looking up with some
people down there, and me and Eric were in Tachi
had tapes of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And I met him at a truck stop that had
a cracker barrel. Wow, that's the truth, that's for real. Yeah,
and I really that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And myself is that mic not on. I don't have
headphones on it.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And that's how we met. So he's a super fan
turned producer.
Speaker 11 (07:27):
Yeah, well I was working in radio too. I worked
up here in New York City. I was working down
West Palm in Orlando, and he's wanted to get back
to New York.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He's a doogie howserd type guy. He started real young
and radio. Are you as big of a fan of
open Now? Turn off your mic?
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Turn off?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Do you remember the first used to be on his
hero list. I'm no longer on his hero list. Let's
just put it that way. We're working on things, right.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
Eric, right, hey, thumbs up, Because remember that just in
the last twenty years, maybe people started eating salads in
the beginning, right, Salads used to be the last course.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
How about this. My in laws do it that way.
It's the weirdest thing. They must have been rich for
a long time. For someone rich for a long time,
so we go the salads at the end, the souths
at the end. It's you turn that around with pride.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
Yeah, but I'll eat my salad first because that's how
I was brought up, and then they'll eat this crazy
big meal and then.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Finish it off on a salad. So wed so not
the best way to do it. Fuck yeah, because it's
common sense.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You eat the things that take a long time to
digest first, right, and then the things that just don't
take a long time you eat at the end. But
you know we fush it out, so the salad helps
settle your stomach, cleans you, gets all the animal fats
out of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Let's go drink some champagne and fingerback favorite. I don't
have to do anything, chef farm. I can make what company,
you know, I could make a whipped cream so I
can figure back someone for thirty hours. It doesn't matter.
(09:09):
Feel he's a finger.
Speaker 10 (09:11):
I could be on the phone like rious, you know,
multitask Yeah you want you want a cricket?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
No? The answer still now you want a cricket? Are
they you want to try one? I said Joe Rogan
snack is it? Yeah? Right? Something he's stuff listening, call
me up. It was from the team. It was from
my Mexican babysitter. She eats these by the polo. This
one is kind of boring.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I mean it's like spicy.
Speaker 10 (09:35):
It's the texture. You know, you're eating a cricket. That
kind of gets to you.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Are they healthy? Is that why people eat them?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Like a mini lobster that walks on land.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
She loves it. She eats him by the pound. Is that? Man?
Isn't it weird the texture because you know you're eating
your cricket? Said? Yeah, sort of like, uh.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You wash it down with coffee.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
It tastes a little cricket at the end.
Speaker 11 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, grassy.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What do they eat opposite?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I don't matter. It's all it's run what you're brung
when you get down there.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The Travel Channel is gonna love this footage.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Try one, man, I don't want to try one. These
things ship and you don't know if they ship.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Everything ship.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
But you're not eating the asshole of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
You're eating the whole asshole. By the way, the only
asshole I eat is the is the crawfish asshole.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Their homemade. She got them from a field there in
the Bronx.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
When I was a kid growing up, we'd get them
at a recess and bring them in.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
It's a grasshopper or cricket, it's as see these. I
lived in the city my whole life, so the first
time I went out to my grandmothers. I was like,
what the fuck is that?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
What is that night?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
She's like, what's wrong with you? It's like I'm used
to hearing sirens and like domestic violence next door, not
this noise. So I don't want to eat that. That makes
the noise right there, that little leg just try.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
What Jamie violinist, dude, mother Nature's violinist. I'm surprised by
your dream, Neil. It's just the foods that I want
to horses. I like horses. I'm gonna be I'm gonna
be eating my dream meal. It's gonna be a good.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Six hour A good lamb chop though, good lad, But please,
everybody don't eat lamb chops from other countries. Why it's
gotta be from us. It's a completely different animal. The
lamb chops from like New Zealand and stuff. They look
like little lollipops. The things the size of a rabbit
rap that an American lamb chop is incredible.
Speaker 7 (11:29):
You I would just assume we're getting American lamb chop
never ever, do you know?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Really?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Once in fifty times we don't know because it's another
twenty eight dollars.
Speaker 11 (11:40):
The smaller lamb chops At bigger restaurants, they serve them
as an appetizer rather than.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
They call them lollipops. Hand job bullshit, and they don't
got that pesky pita. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (11:50):
In the other countries, Oh no, you can throw cats
out of a window.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Zaling. There a bunch of animals.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
Hey, free, soy milk.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
This dude brought in a bag of freaking York metals.
Just really struggling.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
It's not bad, but it's just you just know you're
eating when you start chopping into the legs and stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Yeah, I think it's like a lime. It's like a
lime away worse.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I've eaten snake, I've eaten bear. But I mean, do
you know that makes.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
That saw Mike England for it's.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
A little pop, that's the asshole.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I think it's probably the skull man.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I'm telling you though.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Colorado, Colorado is the number one, right, Colorado lamb chops
unbelievable really and has to be like in a deep
red wine sauce. And you gotta eat it with mashed potatoes.
Good mashed Potato's Thomas Keller, the chef in his cookbook,
makes the best mashed potatoes in the world, it's one
to one ratio, so for every pound of potatoes, you
(12:58):
get one pound of butter.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh my god, he's like a human.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
It's like being licked in the face by Jesus.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
When you get crawfish, do you suck the face?
Speaker 6 (13:11):
Yeah, I'll do it sometimes. It just depends on kind
of who you know, who's making them and with it.
If they're overnight, they've been sitting out for a day
or something, I won't but the first day, yeah, I
hate crawfish. Come on, I don't like why. I don't know,
never liked them. But this guy also, like yesterday he
is see his teeth were flaring up. He got a
dental somebody brushed his teeth for him, and he couldn't
(13:31):
even open his mouth. He eric hold his mouth over
it whipped.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
He's going through this phase. I'm noticing. But it's a
lot of like ailments, a lot of ailmots. Oh god.
Speaker 10 (13:43):
You can talk to the rest of the guys that
have been in the studios my entire career.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
They're all stress related. I learned what kind of butter
that they're using it.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Well, they use eight.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Butterfat, which is European butter which literally, if you hold it,
it'll just melt.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Do you feel like shit after you eat potato mashed potatoes?
Like that ship when I look at my life, not
when I'm fucking eating.
Speaker 10 (14:05):
Obviously obviously delicious, but I would feel so full.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I just don't eat a lot. Don't eat a lot.
Just try it.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
But but why wouldn't you if you have the opportunity, No,
of course you gotta try it.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
It's the closest thing that you can do to feel
like a millionaire.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
You can't drive it around in a Lamborghini, right, but
you can go somewhere and make yourself a really good meal, and.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
You just like the richest person in the world.
Speaker 10 (14:25):
I got my teeth clean, and it was way too
I was way past due, so they really had to
get in there.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And it was the vibrations caused a headache, that's all
it was.
Speaker 10 (14:34):
I felt it, and I felt a little nauseous, man,
And I think the nauseousness came from some of the
pieces that they dislodged.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
And I smelled it, and no, I smelled it.
Speaker 11 (14:44):
What the fuck, Carl? What kind of potatoes?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Well, that's a that's a good question.
Speaker 11 (14:49):
I go for the red potatoes.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Oh, I think you're you're completely off. Okay, one, did
you think that I want? I want an old potato?
So I want to aged potato. Right, that's going to withstand.
So the utons aren't going to break down that much,
and it's gotta beat for me. Russets, fucking lights.
Speaker 11 (15:04):
Russets are great, yes, pull them up. They're even better
as potato chips.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
The best potato chips. If you're not starting with the russet.
Speaker 12 (15:12):
The fuck out of here, people, Man, we went years
without going to the dentist.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
My whole mouth was on fire with cavities.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Same here. Really, Yeah, I think anybody who's Irish we
just don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
And would eat candy. Yeah. Do you have a bunch
of siblings? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I got. I got an older sister and a younger
brother by my father's one of nine.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, I'm one of seven. So we weren't going to
the dentist. That was one builder, Like we could save
money here. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Baltimore have some of the coolest things.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
They have a cookie it's called Burger They've been making
since nineteen twelve or something.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Burger Cookies.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Right, I'll come on the best listen to this all right,
it's a it's a little white cookie right there, you ship,
look at this, Look at this. It's like, look, I'm
looking at a Picasso right now. That cookie is the
best cookie in the world.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
I have my friend, Gloria.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
I won't be I need you to fucking relax saying
ship like that. We gotta get them in here. Don't
zone me out. That's one of the best cookies in
the world.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
What makes it so you're looking I have some respect.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It's Burger b E R G E R named after
the guy who made it. It's the flour bakeries.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
They've been making this, this this German company. They've been
making these cookies.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Forever.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
You eat one of these cookies, you got automatic fifty
percent chance of having a good fucking day.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
He said, Oh yeah, you don't want to explain. You
can't expedite the pain. You're gonna do it one shot
or whatever. I'm like, now, just I don't have time.
Just do one side, but I gotta go back for
the other side.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Ah fuck no, one man, When you go to the dentist,
get it all done.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know what it's like to stream your head off
for an hour and a half of the stage after
you've done dental work. It's sort of like it's horrible.
Speaker 10 (16:59):
It's like flying when you could get your destination with
one fucking flight, no layover.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You get off, you take a ship, you go to
the southern spot, you get the mac and cheese.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Nothing worse than to Atlanta to get to your worst
than dude flying to Atlanta just to ship.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I get the black eyed ps, I get out, I
get the corn bread. I love it through Atlanta. I
like the miles too. I get the extra Miles's I've had.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I had to have one. I'll have them here tomorrow.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Carl, how do you compare those two? When people around
this area say that the black and white cookie is
the best.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
If no one's looking, I spit on those people. I
hate black and white. Say that, Yes, you never liked,
never liked black and white, Car, I hate the white pot.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
Because we're in New Yorkers, Yeah, we can't imagine leaving
an airport.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Ever.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
No, if you have a layover, you think about it,
but you're like, there's no way, there's no guarantee I'm
getting back here.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh la X. I do it all the time, like
if I got to go to Philippines or Japan or Australia.
I get out, I go to in and out Burger,
get back in. You gotta have pre check or or
globe entry so you don't have to funk around. And
you never bring like a lot of bags. Only have
like a fanny pack or like a small backpack or
a laptop to go.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
To the Philippines.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
No you put anything like actually, you know what, I
just went to Mexico to the Philippines. It brings no
you just buy, you buy, you buy clothes when you
get there, Like I went to Mexico City. I just
bought a bathing suit and then I just throw it out,
the bathing suit.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Rich.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So I'm starting to tell Roland about donuts, right, he
took me everywhere. I'm like, Roland, all these all these
fucking places that you keep showing me, all these high
end donuts. I said, this bullshit, right, So I take
them to this place, Sorrento's in East Handover in New Jersey,
and I said, these are fucking people that do donuts, right.
Each donut is a different size, Like the chocolate donut
(18:45):
uses a different dough and it's a different size because
so the.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Chocolate's not overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So on Sundays they make a donuts that is cooked
in pork fat, so it leaks fat through the fucking bag.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I want it. And it's like being held like a baby,
like a spongebab. It feels like a sponge one again.
It cuts your whole mouth and you're so happy. I
want it.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
You should have heard no, but Lewis is moaning like
he's getting.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Hard with my dunkin Donuts.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
Commercial.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
I knew a guy who could read, who would read
people's ribs. He would read, Uh, he was a rib reader.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
What does that mean? Just kind of feel him feel
your ribs. It's just like giving you a poem reading,
I guess.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
But maybe if you didn't have a palm and then
he would read your ribs, he could like tell your
future and your past and stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So you need your gallbladder removes, feel you up.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
He didn't seem like he didn't seem like that kind
of guy. He seemed organized. Wait is it pork fat? Like? No, no, no,
no bacon? You know, hey, look get my fucking donut
on Instagram. No, no, no, it has a.
Speaker 11 (20:02):
Flavor to it. It has a flavor.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
It's I don't.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
I've never had an angel whisper in my ear.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But that's what is this? The picture of this is it?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Now?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
There's no pictures of it? Bro, this is the real thing.
They don't even have a phone there and let alone Instagram.
They don't need picture, don't need pictures. Tell you you
have your ribs red, I'm sure, yeah, I remember.
Speaker 10 (20:22):
I can't find any anything like this on the internet. Yeah,
I'm looking it up right now. Well rib reading now
those type of ri not edible? Okay, he was only
reading live look under molestation.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
My life change and this is true story right.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
The day my life change was the day that I
realized it doesn't have to be your birthday tea birthday cake.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You're fucking free.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You're completely I go to places and I eat fucking
birthday cakes. I'll go to a bakery and eat a
birthday cake right there with a chocolate milk.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Does have a great birthday cake.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Shake that And people look at me and they're like,
you're eating a birthday cake and tell your birthday like.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You're a fucking miserable person living a fucking box.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I couldnt afford it. I get it, man.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Nothing worse than the smell of a dump, because that
was another bill my parents were trying to save.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
So we started taking.
Speaker 10 (21:08):
Our own fucking garbage to the dump, and my dad
thought it would be a cool little.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Thing to bring us the little kids.
Speaker 10 (21:14):
We weren't even teenagers, so it was like twelve eleven ten.
He's like, oh, they would love to run around the
dump as we dump our garbage.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
The smell is just you can't even describe it. Bodies.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
That's why the mop used always going to stand on
the very bodies. Nobody wants to dig through that show.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
But guys, cancer cells feet off the sugar guy right now,
I can't even look at him.
Speaker 11 (21:36):
He's the other way across.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Can I go in there? You fucking what a fucking
shut it downer.
Speaker 10 (21:44):
Then we started burning our We burned our own garbage.
We're burning stove. But the smell plastic. I don't think
that's great for the I don't think.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That didn't even well put the kids to better. Give
me a little brain damage.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Did they weigh the car when you took it?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Huh? Did they weigh it? Like?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I used to go to the dump on my five
and they would weigh the car.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I was a little kid. I don't remember.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
He's like, all right, kids, go run around a little
while we're looking at you, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I felt like my father was a bad parent for
never taking me to the dumb.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
They give you a waffle cone bowl and then you
put the hot fudge, hot peanut butter, and hot marshmallow.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh, hot marshmallow.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Better than ninety marshmallow.
Speaker 11 (22:23):
I'm not a marshmallow fan.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Not a marshmallow fan.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
Fan.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
He's not a marshmallow fan. These guys are moaning it.
Are you going to a therapist? Off and on? I'm
good right now for a little bit, like how do
you know you're good? Don't talk that, don't talk? Like
who you to talk? You say you don't even need one.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You're like, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And then I brought six sandwiches. He's giving out pieces
of them. I had like ration them out right. I
had the battle him to get my damn sandwich.
Speaker 11 (23:01):
Was it good?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Great? I'm saving half of it. My girl's coming, But
I walked the cuban sandwich.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
You gotta talk to look.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're sick of What was your big problem? Yeah? Just anger?
And look at who do they another guy? It's not
always the obvious thing.
Speaker 10 (23:28):
No I got but I'm uh no, I'm good. Yeah,
lot of anger issues over the years, frustration. I think
they were like irritable irritable depression. You get frustrated because no, no,
I'm good. Now I do some edibles. You still have
angry faces, still the Irish. The iris are always a
little keyed up.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
It's the ginger. If you got any ginger in you, whatsoever,
you got anger ship.
Speaker 10 (23:52):
And then one of seven kids, plus they were always
bringing in other kids that needed a home to live,
so you know, we got lost in the mix. So
it's part of not being heard. That's why I do
this for a living.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Maybe, are you like a big fucking you know at
all six of the kids, because you're the well most.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Of us are, there's always one or two that you're not.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Baltimore is the only place in the country that does
pit beef. Oh yes, And if you in a hood,
yes you go, you go to chaps pit beef.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Let me tell you, because I'm the real thing.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Tell you something I thought nobody white I was out
of Baltimore, Like even Spanish knew about the crazy chaps
chip beef. Look, look look at that sandwich juke. You
can't be I'll stick with my Arby's f bro seriously
bro like I before at.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yeah here, like an astronaut.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I'm not fighting with these white people anymore then crab
cakes that I don't even eat outside of all Maryland.
I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but Maryland does not have
the best break me to break it down for we call.
They're all over the place. Madelin doesn't even have any
crabs anymore. Ocean City's good. We'll talk about crabs in
a second. No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I don't care. Streetop. He's just he's angry. He is.
I'm just mad.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I didn't know we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
As ginger people.
Speaker 6 (25:27):
How did you guys feel when they quit accepting a
red haired semen donors?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
You know, a few years back. I was bummed.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
But when they did that then you were really bummed. Yeah,
because the they were paying good for for year. It
was high money.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, that was high money seed right there if you
had red hair.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
But if your ship is clean, forty dollars a day,
drop a dump right in the morning, and they'll pay
you forty dollars maturation. No, once they stop with the ginger,
your ginger shit is still okay, ginger sperm they don't want.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Did you notice they smelled a little rank they did.
Speaker 10 (26:01):
Really, it's very rare to smell under arms, you know, rot.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
They didn't have. You know, it's under arms, soer just
smell it. There's no doubt in your mind. There's nothing
like the pit. So it's probably because they're hardcore vegans.
Why wouldn't they. What's in gilderant sometimes like animal that
ain't it?
Speaker 11 (26:20):
Or aluminum A lot of them, a lot of those
vegans are hippie people. Don't use it because has aluminum
in it.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
They think that it causes some cancers. Well that's why
they smell like incense and dog shit. Who's buying your ship? Bio?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Don't it's bio? Wait, you haven't heard about this. Fecal
transplanting is huge. Wait they're paying for our ship? Yeah yeah,
there's probably one right in the city right now if
you were healthy and dump. Yeah, so think about that
for every day, five days a week. How much money
is that per month? Forty dollars a day?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And what are they doing with the dumpy?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
They it's actually fecal transplanting is curing all sorts of
issues like irritable bowel syndrome. I think it helps people
with crohnes. They shooting in there. They just had this
on lice.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Are you doing it? No?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
No, no, My ship's a mess right now. It's it's
too acidic.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Hey man, am I saying your name right? People are
still saying I'm saying your name wrong. We're doing Carl
Ruez these days, Yes, sir, is that right? Or you're
gonna tell me two months from now that's wrong too, Ruez.
I was calling him Ruse forever and correct.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I don't even know you're gonna be saying it doesn't
really matter.
Speaker 13 (27:42):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Like I think I would think the messy ship is
what they want. Don't want to a solid block.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Do they? They break it up and the saline
If you want a choice to bang your dream girl
or eat your dream meal, and you can only do one,
which one would you choose? And the other? If you belone,
you choose the livery one's gone forever. The fucking food, bro,
I know, would your food?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm too old?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I mean, what's the point the problem with it?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Listen twenty years ago, when when I didn't look like
a fucking veal, I would.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I don't want to be the hottest run known.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
She's looking at my like be cup fucking chests and hip.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's done, man, Like, I don't even want to. I'll
just take glow jobs.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
At this point and eat a chocolate like I'm done.
But I don't even want to have fucking sex. And
you know what, I'm glad you brought that out. I'm
disgusted with myself.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
THEO varr what's going on, buddy? Oh, good to see
you gentlemen today. Then you just met Mike Caltah. THEO
was on my show a long time ago. I really yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (00:47):
But when you first started comedy with Bert, Bert was like,
THEO is coming and I go the mn TV and
he goes, no, he's fucking He's funny. He's crazy, and
yeah you would not you were like somebody who just
did bat salts. Oh really yeah four best, Yeah, you
were doing it before it was cool.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
But pioneering different. Absolutely, that's a great definition of the
I think. Look, dude, I'll I'll test out some sodium. Brother,
you'll take that right. I'll try some things.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
Man, I've been I've been up and down that periodic
table due with a pipe.
Speaker 7 (01:15):
What would your dream meal be, though? The one fucking
It's gotta be courses. It's gotta be courses. But it's
gonna start with I think one of the best things
in the world, which is scrambled eggs.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Okay, scrambled eggs made with a little cramp fresh you
can put like when you put sour creem in and
scrambled eggs and make them moist with a little dab
of caveat on top.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I'd start fancy that's.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
When I started scrambled eggs. Out of everything you could eat.
He never had that egg caveat sandwich down to heal
a broke person.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
He's talking like old treet Oh my god, to get
this dick back and shape going down there for that,
And then I would have look a look at that man.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Kenny is the most excited to see it. Yeah, show today, Mike. Yeah,
he's got a hot chick that works for him. All right.
Oh that's really like we could talk about. She did
a boxing match and she won. She box another chick
at the radio station. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Yeah, it was pretty good chick, not as pretty as
she wasn't.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Ugly at all.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
She's got a great body, like they both work out,
but mine.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
So the pretty one beat up the ugly one.
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Yah.
Speaker 10 (02:25):
Yeah, twenty That's how I see it because I wasn't there.
That's that's not nice, but it's completely acceptable in this
new world of ours.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The Trump Trump world. In the Trump world, pretty girls
beat up ugly girls. I think, Wow, you would start
your dream meal.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
That would be That would be my dream meal. Then
second I'm telling it, I would.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
I would get a dry, maybe thirty or forty forty.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Day dry aged ribbi with a fucking bone in it.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, you gotta have the bone in And I would.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I would roasted medium rare, just perfect, any of it,
never on a pant, just let it really.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Really get anything on it.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's just salt, really good salt. Maybe Hawaiian pink salt,
which is incredible. Really, it's pink.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
It comes from the volcanoes in Hawaiian and it's.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
A salt that just it'll make me cry as an adult.
Speaker 10 (03:15):
We've had the pink salt in our house talking it's
so isn't it good?
Speaker 11 (03:19):
It actually is him Malayan salt.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Look at that, Look at that. That's what I call it.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
So I get that that would be the second course.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, I didn't know how it is with the security
because I didn't want to get held up down there.
I'm sure you've had it where people get stuck down
there and you're.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like, oh god, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (03:34):
I saw one of the dudes from Pink Floyd arguing
with the people at the desk. It was about a
year ago, and he's trying to convince the people at
the desk I'm in Pink Floyd and they didn't give up, fought,
they still needed to see his idea.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It wasn't Waters or Yeah or Gilmore.
Speaker 10 (03:49):
It was the other dude, pink first name right, I
forgot his name though, offhand, but whatever, I saw him
try to convince the people to just let him up,
and then I'd start to slow it down.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Would you do a side with the with the rabbi.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
I just want to eat the Okay, I just want
to eat it. I just wanted a little piece of it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
And this would be a luxury.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
So I would just try the stuff and then throw
it on the ground.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Well, I'll be waiting for it.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I'd have my whole family there, and.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Because that's part of the part of the luxury.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
You know, things aren't luxurious unless somebody's wanted besides you.
Speaker 10 (04:27):
Oh, Nick Mason, thank you. It was Nicknack that was
driving me nuts. Nick Mason from Pink Floyd.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Thank you to Sorry.
Speaker 10 (04:33):
We'll go back to you in a second. Eddie g
with a lot of ease. Thank you, Eddie, You're a
good one. On Twitter, yeah, it was Nick Mason was
at the front desk and the name was driving me nuts.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I couldn't rememind using his hands and stuff. And it's
obvious he's so famous. He doesn't have an idea. I
guess he's.
Speaker 10 (04:49):
Used to just saying I'm from Pink Floyd and they
just wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I would.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I love leg a lamb, I love lamb chops.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I'd have those.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And one of my favorite things is scalloped potatoes, old
school done right.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
There's nothing better. I'm wing scalloped potatoes. Holy ship that
went on that top with a little rose Marian, I
mean scalf potatoes. I mean it doesn't get It's so
simple and beautiful.
Speaker 11 (05:17):
You know how many people hate that too?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well? I hate them. Yeah, people hate scalloped potatoes. Yah. Done.
Whoever hates scalped potatoes kicks dogs. They got to be done.
They got crispy. They gotta be crispy. I like a
little crystal, Yes, a little crisp. Do you ever come
out in Tampa in the area.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
I was a long long time ago. I went to
Tampa a long time.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
That's like, it's awkward, bro, It's like gentrif. It's like, yeah,
gentrifyed but all it's like thuggus.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
It's like gay.
Speaker 6 (05:48):
I was like, but gay, Like there was a thug
was like, give me all your money and let me
suck your dish for a little bit.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
And when you go dessert, are we done with the no?
No no? After that, I probably I go cold. You
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I probably do You know what? I love shrimp fucking cocktail? Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
You can't go wrong?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Done right, spicy, spicy with a lot of horse not spicy,
but with horse ratt but but but the real horse radders.
Don't give me no golds in a fucking can that
ship that.
Speaker 11 (06:21):
Comes from Lancaster. Yeah. Yeah, you want to shave it off,
your fresh making American.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
You want to shave it off yourself, shave it off.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
No, I'm not touching anything. I'm going to have someone
do it.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Does dream.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, I'm not touching anything. And look at that.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But a good shrimp cocktail and that'll ease me into it.
And then I'll probably.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Eat cheeses for an hour, cheesus.
Speaker 11 (06:44):
For an hour.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
So I was in Tampa for like a minute. Is
that where you adopted Eric? In Orlando multiple visits, I
met Eric pretty much had the trucks.
Speaker 10 (06:57):
A cracker barrel on the way to uh Where was
I going that time?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Miami?
Speaker 10 (07:01):
I think right, No, I was going to the n
AHL All Star Game. I was looking up with some
people down there, and me and Eric were in Tachi
had tapes of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And I met him at a truck stop that had
a cracker barrel. Wow, that's the truth, that's for real. Yeah,
and I really that's true.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
And myself is that mic not on. I don't have
headphones on it.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And that's how we met. So he's a super fan
turned producer.
Speaker 11 (07:27):
Yeah, well I was working in radio too. I worked
up here in New York City. I was working down
West Palm in Orlando, and he's wanted to get back
to New York.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He's a doogie howserd type guy. He started real young
and radio. Are you as big of a fan of
open Now? Turn off your mic?
Speaker 4 (07:46):
Turn off?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Do you remember the first used to be on his
hero list. I'm no longer on his hero list. Let's
just put it that way. We're working on things, right.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
Eric, right, hey, thumbs up, Because remember that just in
the last twenty years, maybe people started eating salads in
the beginning, right, Salads used to be the last course.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
How about this. My in laws do it that way.
It's the weirdest thing. They must have been rich for
a long time. For someone rich for a long time,
so we go the salads at the end, the souths
at the end. It's you turn that around with pride.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
Yeah, but I'll eat my salad first because that's how
I was brought up, and then they'll eat this crazy
big meal and then.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Finish it off on a salad. So wed so not
the best way to do it. Fuck yeah, because it's
common sense.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You eat the things that take a long time to
digest first, right, and then the things that just don't
take a long time you eat at the end. But
you know we fush it out, so the salad helps
settle your stomach, cleans you, gets all the animal fats
out of your mouth.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Let's go drink some champagne and fingerback favorite. I don't
have to do anything, chef farm. I can make what company,
you know, I could make a whipped cream so I
can figure back someone for thirty hours. It doesn't matter.
(09:09):
Feel he's a finger.
Speaker 10 (09:11):
I could be on the phone like rious, you know,
multitask Yeah you want you want a cricket?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
No? The answer still now you want a cricket? Are
they you want to try one? I said Joe Rogan
snack is it? Yeah? Right? Something he's stuff listening, call
me up. It was from the team. It was from
my Mexican babysitter. She eats these by the polo. This
one is kind of boring.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I mean it's like spicy.
Speaker 10 (09:35):
It's the texture. You know, you're eating a cricket. That
kind of gets to you.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Are they healthy? Is that why people eat them?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Like a mini lobster that walks on land.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
She loves it. She eats him by the pound. Is that? Man?
Isn't it weird the texture because you know you're eating
your cricket? Said? Yeah, sort of like, uh.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You wash it down with coffee.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
It tastes a little cricket at the end.
Speaker 11 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, grassy.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What do they eat opposite?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I don't matter. It's all it's run what you're brung
when you get down there.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
The Travel Channel is gonna love this footage.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Try one, man, I don't want to try one. These
things ship and you don't know if they ship.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Everything ship.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
But you're not eating the asshole of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
You're eating the whole asshole. By the way, the only
asshole I eat is the is the crawfish asshole.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Their homemade. She got them from a field there in
the Bronx.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
When I was a kid growing up, we'd get them
at a recess and bring them in.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
It's a grasshopper or cricket, it's as see these. I
lived in the city my whole life, so the first
time I went out to my grandmothers. I was like,
what the fuck is that?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
What is that night?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
She's like, what's wrong with you? It's like I'm used
to hearing sirens and like domestic violence next door, not
this noise. So I don't want to eat that. That makes
the noise right there, that little leg just try.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
What Jamie violinist, dude, mother Nature's violinist. I'm surprised by
your dream, Neil. It's just the foods that I want
to horses. I like horses. I'm gonna be I'm gonna
be eating my dream meal. It's gonna be a good.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Six hour A good lamb chop though, good lad, But please,
everybody don't eat lamb chops from other countries. Why it's
gotta be from us. It's a completely different animal. The
lamb chops from like New Zealand and stuff. They look
like little lollipops. The things the size of a rabbit
rap that an American lamb chop is incredible.
Speaker 7 (11:29):
You I would just assume we're getting American lamb chop
never ever, do you know?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Really?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Once in fifty times we don't know because it's another
twenty eight dollars.
Speaker 11 (11:40):
The smaller lamb chops At bigger restaurants, they serve them
as an appetizer rather than.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
They call them lollipops. Hand job bullshit, and they don't
got that pesky pita. Yeah.
Speaker 10 (11:50):
In the other countries, Oh no, you can throw cats
out of a window.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Zaling. There a bunch of animals.
Speaker 6 (11:59):
Hey, free, soy milk.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
This dude brought in a bag of freaking York metals.
Just really struggling.
Speaker 10 (12:13):
It's not bad, but it's just you just know you're
eating when you start chopping into the legs and stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Yeah, I think it's like a lime. It's like a
lime away worse.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I've eaten snake, I've eaten bear. But I mean, do
you know that makes.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
That saw Mike England for it's.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
A little pop, that's the asshole.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I think it's probably the skull man.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I'm telling you though.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Colorado, Colorado is the number one, right, Colorado lamb chops
unbelievable really and has to be like in a deep
red wine sauce. And you gotta eat it with mashed potatoes.
Good mashed Potato's Thomas Keller, the chef in his cookbook,
makes the best mashed potatoes in the world, it's one
to one ratio, so for every pound of potatoes, you
(12:58):
get one pound of butter.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh my god, he's like a human.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
It's like being licked in the face by Jesus.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
When you get crawfish, do you suck the face?
Speaker 6 (13:11):
Yeah, I'll do it sometimes. It just depends on kind
of who you know, who's making them and with it.
If they're overnight, they've been sitting out for a day
or something, I won't but the first day, yeah, I
hate crawfish. Come on, I don't like why. I don't know,
never liked them. But this guy also, like yesterday he
is see his teeth were flaring up. He got a
dental somebody brushed his teeth for him, and he couldn't
(13:31):
even open his mouth. He eric hold his mouth over
it whipped.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
He's going through this phase. I'm noticing. But it's a
lot of like ailments, a lot of ailmots. Oh god.
Speaker 10 (13:43):
You can talk to the rest of the guys that
have been in the studios my entire career.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
They're all stress related. I learned what kind of butter
that they're using it.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Well, they use eight.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Butterfat, which is European butter which literally, if you hold it,
it'll just melt.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Do you feel like shit after you eat potato mashed potatoes?
Like that ship when I look at my life, not
when I'm fucking eating.
Speaker 10 (14:05):
Obviously obviously delicious, but I would feel so full.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I just don't eat a lot. Don't eat a lot.
Just try it.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
But but why wouldn't you if you have the opportunity, No,
of course you gotta try it.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
It's the closest thing that you can do to feel
like a millionaire.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
You can't drive it around in a Lamborghini, right, but
you can go somewhere and make yourself a really good meal, and.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
You just like the richest person in the world.
Speaker 10 (14:25):
I got my teeth clean, and it was way too
I was way past due, so they really had to
get in there.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And it was the vibrations caused a headache, that's all
it was.
Speaker 10 (14:34):
I felt it, and I felt a little nauseous, man,
And I think the nauseousness came from some of the
pieces that they dislodged.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
And I smelled it, and no, I smelled it.
Speaker 11 (14:44):
What the fuck, Carl? What kind of potatoes?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Well, that's a that's a good question.
Speaker 11 (14:49):
I go for the red potatoes.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Oh, I think you're you're completely off. Okay, one, did
you think that I want? I want an old potato?
So I want to aged potato. Right, that's going to withstand.
So the utons aren't going to break down that much,
and it's gotta beat for me. Russets, fucking lights.
Speaker 11 (15:04):
Russets are great, yes, pull them up. They're even better
as potato chips.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
The best potato chips. If you're not starting with the russet.
Speaker 12 (15:12):
The fuck out of here, people, Man, we went years
without going to the dentist.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
My whole mouth was on fire with cavities.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Same here. Really, Yeah, I think anybody who's Irish we
just don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
And would eat candy. Yeah. Do you have a bunch
of siblings? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
I got. I got an older sister and a younger
brother by my father's one of nine.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, I'm one of seven. So we weren't going to
the dentist. That was one builder, Like we could save
money here. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
Baltimore have some of the coolest things.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
They have a cookie it's called Burger They've been making
since nineteen twelve or something.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Burger Cookies.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Right, I'll come on the best listen to this all right,
it's a it's a little white cookie right there, you ship,
look at this, Look at this. It's like, look, I'm
looking at a Picasso right now. That cookie is the
best cookie in the world.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
I have my friend, Gloria.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
I won't be I need you to fucking relax saying
ship like that. We gotta get them in here. Don't
zone me out. That's one of the best cookies in
the world.
Speaker 7 (16:21):
What makes it so you're looking I have some respect.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
It's Burger b E R G E R named after
the guy who made it. It's the flour bakeries.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
They've been making this, this this German company. They've been
making these cookies.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Forever.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
You eat one of these cookies, you got automatic fifty
percent chance of having a good fucking day.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
He said, Oh yeah, you don't want to explain. You
can't expedite the pain. You're gonna do it one shot
or whatever. I'm like, now, just I don't have time.
Just do one side, but I gotta go back for
the other side.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Ah fuck no, one man, When you go to the dentist,
get it all done.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know what it's like to stream your head off
for an hour and a half of the stage after
you've done dental work. It's sort of like it's horrible.
Speaker 10 (16:59):
It's like flying when you could get your destination with
one fucking flight, no layover.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
You get off, you take a ship, you go to
the southern spot, you get the mac and cheese.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Nothing worse than to Atlanta to get to your worst
than dude flying to Atlanta just to ship.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I get the black eyed ps, I get out, I
get the corn bread. I love it through Atlanta. I
like the miles too. I get the extra Miles's I've had.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I had to have one. I'll have them here tomorrow.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Carl, how do you compare those two? When people around
this area say that the black and white cookie is
the best.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
If no one's looking, I spit on those people. I
hate black and white. Say that, Yes, you never liked,
never liked black and white, Car, I hate the white pot.
Speaker 10 (17:42):
Because we're in New Yorkers, Yeah, we can't imagine leaving
an airport.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Ever.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
No, if you have a layover, you think about it,
but you're like, there's no way, there's no guarantee I'm
getting back here.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh la X. I do it all the time, like
if I got to go to Philippines or Japan or Australia.
I get out, I go to in and out Burger,
get back in. You gotta have pre check or or
globe entry so you don't have to funk around. And
you never bring like a lot of bags. Only have
like a fanny pack or like a small backpack or
a laptop to go.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
To the Philippines.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
No you put anything like actually, you know what, I
just went to Mexico to the Philippines. It brings no
you just buy, you buy, you buy clothes when you
get there, Like I went to Mexico City. I just
bought a bathing suit and then I just throw it out,
the bathing suit.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Rich.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
So I'm starting to tell Roland about donuts, right, he
took me everywhere. I'm like, Roland, all these all these
fucking places that you keep showing me, all these high
end donuts. I said, this bullshit, right, So I take
them to this place, Sorrento's in East Handover in New Jersey,
and I said, these are fucking people that do donuts, right.
Each donut is a different size, Like the chocolate donut
(18:45):
uses a different dough and it's a different size because
so the.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Chocolate's not overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So on Sundays they make a donuts that is cooked
in pork fat, so it leaks fat through the fucking bag.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I want it. And it's like being held like a baby,
like a spongebab. It feels like a sponge one again.
It cuts your whole mouth and you're so happy. I
want it.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
You should have heard no, but Lewis is moaning like
he's getting.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Hard with my dunkin Donuts.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
Commercial.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
I knew a guy who could read, who would read
people's ribs. He would read, Uh, he was a rib reader.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
What does that mean? Just kind of feel him feel
your ribs. It's just like giving you a poem reading,
I guess.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
But maybe if you didn't have a palm and then
he would read your ribs, he could like tell your
future and your past and stuff.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So you need your gallbladder removes, feel you up.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
He didn't seem like he didn't seem like that kind
of guy. He seemed organized. Wait is it pork fat? Like? No, no, no,
no bacon? You know, hey, look get my fucking donut
on Instagram. No, no, no, it has a.
Speaker 11 (20:02):
Flavor to it. It has a flavor.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
It's I don't.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
I've never had an angel whisper in my ear.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But that's what is this? The picture of this is it?
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Now?
Speaker 1 (20:12):
There's no pictures of it? Bro, this is the real thing.
They don't even have a phone there and let alone Instagram.
They don't need picture, don't need pictures. Tell you you
have your ribs red, I'm sure, yeah, I remember.
Speaker 10 (20:22):
I can't find any anything like this on the internet. Yeah,
I'm looking it up right now. Well rib reading now
those type of ri not edible? Okay, he was only
reading live look under molestation.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
My life change and this is true story right.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
The day my life change was the day that I
realized it doesn't have to be your birthday tea birthday cake.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
You're fucking free.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
You're completely I go to places and I eat fucking
birthday cakes. I'll go to a bakery and eat a
birthday cake right there with a chocolate milk.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Does have a great birthday cake.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Shake that And people look at me and they're like,
you're eating a birthday cake and tell your birthday like.
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You're a fucking miserable person living a fucking box.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I couldnt afford it. I get it, man.
Speaker 10 (21:04):
Nothing worse than the smell of a dump, because that
was another bill my parents were trying to save.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
So we started taking.
Speaker 10 (21:08):
Our own fucking garbage to the dump, and my dad
thought it would be a cool little.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Thing to bring us the little kids.
Speaker 10 (21:14):
We weren't even teenagers, so it was like twelve eleven ten.
He's like, oh, they would love to run around the
dump as we dump our garbage.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
The smell is just you can't even describe it. Bodies.
Speaker 5 (21:26):
That's why the mop used always going to stand on
the very bodies. Nobody wants to dig through that show.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
But guys, cancer cells feet off the sugar guy right now,
I can't even look at him.
Speaker 11 (21:36):
He's the other way across.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Can I go in there? You fucking what a fucking
shut it downer.
Speaker 10 (21:44):
Then we started burning our We burned our own garbage.
We're burning stove. But the smell plastic. I don't think
that's great for the I don't think.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That didn't even well put the kids to better. Give
me a little brain damage.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Did they weigh the car when you took it?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Huh? Did they weigh it? Like?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I used to go to the dump on my five
and they would weigh the car.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I was a little kid. I don't remember.
Speaker 10 (22:03):
He's like, all right, kids, go run around a little
while we're looking at you, Like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I felt like my father was a bad parent for
never taking me to the dumb.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
They give you a waffle cone bowl and then you
put the hot fudge, hot peanut butter, and hot marshmallow.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh, hot marshmallow.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Better than ninety marshmallow.
Speaker 11 (22:23):
I'm not a marshmallow fan.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Not a marshmallow fan.
Speaker 6 (22:31):
Fan.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
He's not a marshmallow fan. These guys are moaning it.
Are you going to a therapist? Off and on? I'm
good right now for a little bit, like how do
you know you're good? Don't talk that, don't talk? Like
who you to talk? You say you don't even need one.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
You're like, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And then I brought six sandwiches. He's giving out pieces
of them. I had like ration them out right. I
had the battle him to get my damn sandwich.
Speaker 11 (23:01):
Was it good?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Great? I'm saving half of it. My girl's coming, But
I walked the cuban sandwich.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
You gotta talk to look.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're sick of What was your big problem? Yeah? Just anger?
And look at who do they another guy? It's not
always the obvious thing.
Speaker 10 (23:28):
No I got but I'm uh no, I'm good. Yeah,
lot of anger issues over the years, frustration. I think
they were like irritable irritable depression. You get frustrated because no, no,
I'm good. Now I do some edibles. You still have
angry faces, still the Irish. The iris are always a
little keyed up.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
It's the ginger. If you got any ginger in you, whatsoever,
you got anger ship.
Speaker 10 (23:52):
And then one of seven kids, plus they were always
bringing in other kids that needed a home to live,
so you know, we got lost in the mix. So
it's part of not being heard. That's why I do
this for a living.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Maybe, are you like a big fucking you know at
all six of the kids, because you're the well most.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Of us are, there's always one or two that you're not.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Baltimore is the only place in the country that does
pit beef. Oh yes, And if you in a hood,
yes you go, you go to chaps pit beef.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Let me tell you, because I'm the real thing.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Tell you something I thought nobody white I was out
of Baltimore, Like even Spanish knew about the crazy chaps
chip beef. Look, look look at that sandwich juke. You
can't be I'll stick with my Arby's f bro seriously
bro like I before at.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Yeah here, like an astronaut.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I'm not fighting with these white people anymore then crab
cakes that I don't even eat outside of all Maryland.
I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but Maryland does not have
the best break me to break it down for we call.
They're all over the place. Madelin doesn't even have any
crabs anymore. Ocean City's good. We'll talk about crabs in
a second. No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
I don't care. Streetop. He's just he's angry. He is.
I'm just mad.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I didn't know we're not.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
As ginger people.
Speaker 6 (25:27):
How did you guys feel when they quit accepting a
red haired semen donors?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
You know, a few years back. I was bummed.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
But when they did that then you were really bummed. Yeah,
because the they were paying good for for year. It
was high money.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yeah, that was high money seed right there if you
had red hair.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
But if your ship is clean, forty dollars a day,
drop a dump right in the morning, and they'll pay
you forty dollars maturation. No, once they stop with the ginger,
your ginger shit is still okay, ginger sperm they don't want.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Did you notice they smelled a little rank they did.
Speaker 10 (26:01):
Really, it's very rare to smell under arms, you know, rot.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
They didn't have. You know, it's under arms, soer just
smell it. There's no doubt in your mind. There's nothing
like the pit. So it's probably because they're hardcore vegans.
Why wouldn't they. What's in gilderant sometimes like animal that
ain't it?
Speaker 11 (26:20):
Or aluminum A lot of them, a lot of those
vegans are hippie people. Don't use it because has aluminum
in it.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
They think that it causes some cancers. Well that's why
they smell like incense and dog shit. Who's buying your ship? Bio?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Don't it's bio? Wait, you haven't heard about this. Fecal
transplanting is huge. Wait they're paying for our ship? Yeah yeah,
there's probably one right in the city right now if
you were healthy and dump. Yeah, so think about that
for every day, five days a week. How much money
is that per month? Forty dollars a day?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
And what are they doing with the dumpy?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
They it's actually fecal transplanting is curing all sorts of
issues like irritable bowel syndrome. I think it helps people
with crohnes. They shooting in there. They just had this
on lice.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Are you doing it? No?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
No, no, My ship's a mess right now. It's it's
too acidic.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Hey man, am I saying your name right? People are
still saying I'm saying your name wrong. We're doing Carl
Ruez these days, Yes, sir, is that right? Or you're
gonna tell me two months from now that's wrong too, Ruez.
I was calling him Ruse forever and correct.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
I don't even know you're gonna be saying it doesn't
really matter.
Speaker 13 (27:42):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Like I think I would think the messy ship is
what they want. Don't want to a solid block.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Do they? They break it up and the saline
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