August 9, 2025 • 25 mins
Buckle up for a wild ride on this gut-busting episode of Opie Funny AF! We’re serving up a rapid-fire clip show packed with hilarious bits from comedy heavyweights Jim Florentine, Kevin Brennan, Lenny Marcus, and Hatebreed’s Jamey Jasta, plus a call-in from the one and only Chuck from North Carolina. Get ready for laugh-out-loud takes on dating apps, claw machine victories, questionable dating advice, crapping in bags, Mariah Carey’s grinder, surprise massages, why men shouldn’t touch cupcakes, eating reindeer, poop incense, wedding snubs, C-word bombs, useless umbrellas, camel toe rides, BO struggles, hotel lobby sprints, hot bagging, tamp tossing, and the mystery of the purple umbrella. It’s fast, it’s funny, it’s Opie Funny AF!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'd like to take a date there and just not
pay anything, you know what I mean, day to a
super cheap day.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Yeah, it's like I don't have to pay anything, right
getting lin this isn't going so well, I am I
fucking spending any money.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
You'll find out if she really, you know, likes you
if you.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Take her to a super pol That's the thing I
did to go on this date, and I had a
gift card. I knew she eventually was going to go
to the bathroom. We're hanging and having beers and stuff,
So as soon as she went in there, I slipped
it to the.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
F you knew you would have your chair. That's a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I know what, I'm not going to see us fucking
six beers and if she's going to break that seal soon.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Right, So yeah, but soon as the podcast is over,
you're not going to talk to Lenny anymore, right, you'll
just be cordial.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Well, I have to talk to him because he fixes
my computer.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So the rule of thumb with with the online is
you go to the third picture. That's what they really
look like. The first one is the best picture they've
ever took in their life. Okay, it's the greatest picture ever.
Slide to the third one, and then you see what
they really look like. They start off with a nine,
they're down to like a six or five and a
half by the third picture.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
And by the third picture that they're just kind of
getting lazy, and you're like, ah, that's just what they
look like.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Absolutely, it's always the third but third one is never
the best one.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
There's no fucking way at first one is that killer shot.
That's a good tip for the people out there.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Go to the third bit, right, Like, I don't want
to eat anything that's factory farmed.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I just don't.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
What's the point You're just consuming suffering? How are you not?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, you're right, Absolutely, I was just a sedona. Yeah,
there's so much cool shit out there. I got to
go back. Did you get massages and all that stuff?
I did?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Ever?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Wreaki work and all that I did? It was weird.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Just like woman was probably like fifty five or sixty
and she's working on me. She's talking to me and
all this new age shit and whatever. I'm just I'm
into what. I'm like, oh whatever, I'm listening and she's
giving me a massage and I just.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Had I got it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I got an erection because she was doing it and
she started fucking like grabbing my but she was just
kind of like, it's just okay.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I'm like, yeah, it's fine. I'm like, this woman's gonna
put me off.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
She was like sixty and then all this shit and
this all incense fucking burning. I'm like, this is weird.
She's not Asian. I'm not in this some sleazy place.
And she's like, you can grab me if you want.
She's like put in my head and grabbing her ass.
I'm like, all right, fine, this one was like sixty
years old. I got an erection, I'm grabbing her ask.
I'm like, this is fuck. I go I'm gonna this
woman right like. I'm like at that point, and she's
(02:10):
like it feels good, doesn't it. She goes, you can
grab it's okay, and I'm like all right, and I'm
doing this and all of a sudden, like and my
hour was up, and she's like okay, thanks, and I'm like,
now what is what was really? If you want to
come back, I'm here for the next couple of days.
I know you're only in town, but if you need
another hour session, just let me know. When I walked
out of it with a fucking erection.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I'm like, what the fuck? Was no finish? No, no
finish because I don't think she was even into that.
Like I was thinking, now, how do you how do you? Uh?
You know whatever? No, there's so many questions a little time,
but listen.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
We ate the reindeer. I felt bad about that. You
don't want to eat Rudolph.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How do you know?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You can let me tell your kid. You can't tell
your kid you ate the reindeer?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
How did the reindeer taste?
Speaker 4 (02:51):
They seasoned it, well, it was good. One of the
bands I think was eating and they didn't know it
was reindeer and they were bummed the yeah, like they
were backstage and there because I don't believe in Christmas.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, like you just ate Rudeolph? Buster Sorry they were yeah, yeh,
big old happy Friday.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What would Friday be without cupcakes?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
It would just be another Friday, That's all it would be.
He can do any claw machine. We did a whole
tour with him, like a ten ten week tour. Every
time we would stop, the buses, you know, would go
like a seventy six or a truck stop. He gets
every claw machine. He wins every one win about how
do you win a claw machine? It's amazing because.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I imagine if that was your dad and you and
he won every time. Dude, I was just in wild
Wood on the boardwalk.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
We spent I don't know, at least one hundred dollars
on the claw machines because we're all to you know, uh,
the Philly side here. We got there's so many little kids,
so we're all playing the claw machines, trying to win
and be a hero to our kids.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And then we fucking struck out. S Grinder that's his name.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
My brother Dan is amazing at the claw machine and
we got Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I don't know what he does.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I try to do when I lose, and my son's like,
come on, dad, win me something.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
I go.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Let let Uncle Dan do what That was a gimmick
you could win that. He's amazing at it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It's it's the most brilliant thing because every time you
feel like you're that close, it always lifts it up
in the air and then drops it and then it
fucking drops it.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yeah, somebody's psychopath who created that clumb team? Do you
know what I mean? It's like, I'm.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Gonna get it exactly where they think they have it.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
It's that's when your kids get really mad because you
have it in the grip and then it drops and
they're like you fucking let me.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I'm like I know, and they're.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Convinced that all it is is another quarter and they're
gonna get that myphe. We were there hours straight and
some of the kids left crying every time.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Son of a Wait, how does he know how to
do that? He's got the like the Jedi master? Way man,
what's the technique? He's got some kind of weird.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
On his Instagram. He's he's holding how many that's at
least six? Damn way more than eight. He's got eight
of them from toys r Us. Wait, he just went
in the toys.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I've never seen a crane machine and toys. R Us
would also like to a boardwalk in the background, Kevin,
if you moved to the West Coast you started doing
arenas all right, would you? And Lenny's like, Hey, I'm
coming out to West Coast? Can I stay in your mansion?
What's your answer?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Oh that would be no, I can tell you today.
But just so he could see how big my man.
You know what, that's the correct answers. Absolutely, Look how
happy you are, Lenny.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Who doesn't he's bringing them. It's not like he dropped
the cupcakes. Just make me angry. No cupcakes like you
don't know. I don't like that you don't they have
a cupcake store.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
I'm basically saying it's done because he if you're telling
half the population you're not welcome here because the guy
can't go into a cupcake store and buy a cupcake?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Why not because it's gay? Not gay? But do you
eat it? Right? I got to see how you eat it? Cupcakes? Yeah,
first you got to eat it. The man's no show him.
Let's see how you see how you eat He's gonna
eat it like he's sucking.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's how a cupcake, A grown man eating a cupcake
should eat it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So look around the first the helmets, all right, I
just eat that's it. No, you don't.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Do it that way because now you gotta swirl your
tongue around your mouth to get.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
The eat a cupcake like that? Right here you go? Ready,
Letty can't win. I can't win if I can't eat.
This is how man eats a cupcake. You gotta break
a piece off, right, you.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Gotta take the bottom of Yeah, alright, sorry your spot, but.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
A cupcakes sandwichwich cake sandwich Dennis, very good.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
What about the one with the coins, like I always
just want to shake that fucking thing, so the coins
all fall off of the front. But then you get
in trouble, so like when the when trouble, No, that's
a bump.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
You gotta time your bomb. That's all like a quick bomb.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
What about the tickets, like you you got to have
forty thousand tickets to get the fucking lava lamp, and
you know the guy's back there. You just want to
give them five bucks. It's made in China. It couldn't
cost more than a dollar to manufacture such.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
A scam because to the kids, it's like gold.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
The basketball thing, the tension, you can't even fit the ball,
the ball squashed the rim.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You're looking at it. It doesn't look like it's an
oblong or whatever. Yeah, it's an oval oval right right?
Why saylong?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
And then when you do win one of those big,
huge stuffed animals, you get it to the car and
the arm's falling off, the stuffing's coming out, your kids.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Crying they've been there too long.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You know.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Or you buy your kid like the funnel cake and
it's got everything on it and they walk like two
feet and it's right in the dirt.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I've been there. I was just there and wold wood.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Everything you're saying is right. We didn't get the big
stuffed animal.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Color blind? So what color is the frosting? I'm colorblind?
What kind of colors? Can't you say? Purple? So you
can't so you can't see? And his umbrella, he's not
a blue umbrella. But no, he's got a purple umbrella.
You've got a purple umbre. Who who I thought they
have a kidd? You have a purple umbrella right there.
You're the only one that brought an umbrella. It was pouring,
I got one. It's never black. You brought one, yeah,
(08:16):
because it was raining, Is that right? No, I'd rather
fucking get wet. I can't this one way slipping Rihanna
and umbrella. That's a good one. Yeah, but you had
a car. Didn't you have a car? Drive you here? Well?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Good point, But I mean I don't want a car
all the time. And when when it's raining, I never
bring an umbrella.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
No, I use umbrella. Really yeah, thank you. Fuck. But
cupcakes are overrated. Okay, they're overrated. What do you mean
they're overrated? They're not rated, and they are. They're overrated.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Different kids cupcakes that you know once in a while
and adult can have one if someone made them.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah you know, mom made the cupcakes. Take an hour.
All that. They're overrated.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
When you go to a party and someone puts out
the cupcakes, it's over. The party is over. It's like
something you came and you just want to leave. You
get this a lot of your hotel or I gotta.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Go look at simple things way too deep. No, I don't.
It's a cupcake. It's just there for pleasure.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's just who has pleasure party adults life has no
pleasure in his life? What he doesn't, but he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Have a lot.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Did you do like the camel ride and the camel.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, I went to the I think it.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Was Guildford Fair. Yeah, they had they had like a
miserable camel there, felt terrible.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I did the elephant ride my son. Yeah, and yeah
in the camel ride we did both.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, we got a sacrifice one. It's too late for
that elephant. So We're okay with that.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
It was in the middle of a field in Jersey.
It was like one hundred and ten degrees. You rode
a real elephant. Yeah, they had they have him in Jersey.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, they did, like a field in the middle of
nowhere to have like they set up a little fucking pop.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Up depressing carnival. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
I tried the camel to ride and that it didn't
work out for the kids.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
How much is that ride? About a quarter? Yeah? Clown
from slid Now he was.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
They were gonna burn camel ship at not fest. Like
why they wanted like their own like you know, smell
like their own incense to the festival.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Some fan on Twitter goes, Lenny wanted you to drink alcohol.
Lenny goes, well, I don't like the taste.
Speaker 8 (10:16):
And I'm like, I'm like, well, you don't drink alcohol
for the taste, really drinking to get drink. It's like
it's like saying I don't need pussy foot because I
don't like the taste, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I don't like the cupcakes, not the alcohol, you know
what I mean? Like I got excited for I got
little kid's taste. What do you want?
Speaker 8 (10:29):
Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying, up cupcakes, I want to
go a little kids party.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That he's a fucking drug man. Such a group who
wants to be a grown up like.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
You, And he's like Lenn, He's like, I was late
because a Yankee game was on, and like, you're your
fucking ten man.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Let him burn their camel shit.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Who cares they're not burning the actual camel noway, it
was the.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Group's intend to fill oil drums with camel poop then
set it on fire to create the official not Fest.
Percussion is Sean Cran You gotta get him on the show.
Percussionist Sean Kran stayed in a recent interview that they
had used camel dunkscent in the past and it went
over very well or well. He stated, it's got a
very distinct smell. You can't huff it, but it's got
this smell. It's not necessarily the most comfortable thing. It's
(11:17):
not necessarily the worst thing.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh man, that's all right. They're just trying to fuck
with people's heads a little bit. Yeah, I'd rather smell
animal shit than body odor.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
It's like the blooming onion and got his tinder date
at Apple I'd rather smell that.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Than the rough.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
I would smell the in a in like a train station. Noah, bad,
you gotta smell the smell up a fucking train station.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Now it's so hot out here that you'll go into
a subway car. You're like, oh, it's air conditioned, there'll
be nobody in it. You walk in this one guy
and it's disgusting his pants. Yeah, but he has the
whole car to himself.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
So I do that sometimes just to have some privacy.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
You gotta get room for yourself in the city. I
ship my pants and I get on the elk shoor.
You let let a little nugget out. Keep everyone honest.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Because on this vacation I went on, I was witnessing
every morning the single couples, like or the ones that
are dating or just met up. They do that thing
where they leave the hotel room and they run to
the lobby to ship because they don't want to like
blow it out in the room.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
You do that like, I don't even know that. Well.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I mean back in the day, you had a girl
to your hotel room and you wake up in the
morning and you you know you were out, You're drinking
forties're eating taco bell You're gonna blowed into a milin diarrhea.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Yeah wait, wait no, But I mean, how do you
know when you're that you see a couple.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
And you know what they're up to, because I'm in
the lobby and you see these two they're walking down
there holding their hands, and then they get to.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
The lobby and they both jet to the each side
of the back. They can't hold it in.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, because when you're in the hotel, of course you
don't want to do that, or you just go, hey,
I'm going to go down the front desk and get
some more towels.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
We have enough now, let me get check. And then
I'm gone for a half hour. And then she's like
where were you? And I was like, guy, I ran
to a guy I went to high school.
Speaker 9 (13:13):
With, but.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Come back with no towels, no towels.
Speaker 7 (13:17):
I'm like, yeah, yeah, using the white my ass.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
But he's also known to have, you know, dropped in
in the wastebasket in the room.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
What wasn't that you now with norm or something? You
left something behind him?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
He's the upper deck. What's the story? Then you leave
a log?
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Norton did that in Bob Kelly's hotel room.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Okay, I got some stories mixed up. Come on, I
got class. I saw your face the stories you told.
I'm like, wow, I finally found his line. I would
never do that.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
We used to do construction and like my friend was
paint had the cleanest bathroom. Was an old shitty house
and it was like one hundred degrees and there was
nowhere condition, middle of the summer, and I shipped in
a bad like a shopping bag, and I threw it
in this little bathroom with no window, and he was
in there a whole day.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
It fucking stinks in here.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
What there was so much stuff and that he couldn't
find it, And I come down, I come down, now, go.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I don't smell anything, because you don't smell that.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And at the end of the day you found that
I shit in the bag, and.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
You smell that the whole day. You hot bag it
all the time. That's the thing. We throw it out
the vent and like the European buses, like if you're
on a twelve hour ride to Slovenia and you can't stop,
you hot bag it and then you throw it out.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
You ship in the bag, you hold the bag and
you ship like.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, and then you know, and then the car behind
you gets a surprise on the window, gets.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
A ship bag on the launch on their windshield. Wait,
you guys are hardcore. I thought the rule of not
shitting on the bus was the band's rule. No, it's
the bus bus company. The bus company doesn't want you
shitting on.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
The bus to find you. Yeah, I didn't know that
unless you're like a Mariah Carey. She's got the grinder
on her bus. I saw her bus once. She's got
a grinder in there, grinds the ship up and makes
it into like a ship makes it. Yeah, it's like
a it's like a ship cube that gets like wound
up into it like a thing. And then you know the.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Carrey has some rough fucking shit, you think. So, yes,
she she's she's got a grinder.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, she got those kinder So so her and the kids.
They can ship on the bus if they have to,
which is convenient. Some busses can do it, some RVs
can do it. I don't know if anybody what's the.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Convenience of being on a bus If you can't shop,
get you got to ship in a bag.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, that's it's just because it stinks up the whole
bus in the bathroom and all that stuff, and it
goes in the little tank and it's too massive.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
You don't have the right chemicals.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
It will stink quick and dude, I'm.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Taking Greyhound, but seriously, uh so, I just can't imagine
you have to ship in a bag though, yeah, yeah,
hot bag it.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
You gotta be care. At one time when I took
a ship on a tour bus, the whole of the
toilet isn't big enough because you're not supposed to ship,
You're only supposed to piss. I took a nice big
ship and then I had to find something like stuff
it into the hole to get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
What happens on the tour buses too, is like you know,
you'll drive through tonight. You get to the venue at
like six seven in the morning, they park out back,
and then everybody, including the roadies, has to ship because
they drove through the night, so that there's a line
of like ten fucking roadies in front of you taking
the ship in their life, and you're number eleven in line,
just shitting in the same bowl because maybe there's only
one bathroom open at that time. The venue is still
(16:18):
locked and you have to wait online to fucking ship
after ten people just shit in that toilet the seat is.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Still warm, or fucking reeks.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Or you gotta build a nest. You got to have
the outer nest and you don't want the splash back.
Nowadays with the bacteria, you never know what I'll splash back.
You don't want that. You got to have a nest.
Rock and Roll, Kevin, Huh, you know what I mean.
Backs one of the.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Guys that was telling me.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
One of the guys in the band was telling me,
because when you get to the venue, if it's open,
go ship in the ladies room because nobody will be
in there.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
All the roadies go in the guys room. So you
just go in and you go right in the ladies room.
You're shit in there. Nobody even comes in. He disagreed
with me.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
He said that the ladies' bathrooms are way worse by
the end of the night.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I just think in the morning when they're clean or
whatever like that. But you don't have to worry about it. Polsley.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
They pull out their tamps and just throw them up
against the wall.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
And on the ceiling. Try to get them to stick
he was telling us that, right, Yeah, that's what he
don't know. I didn't look up. I was daydreaming about, Uh,
Mariah Carey's grinder. The grinders probably really again overheating. I
think it's overheating. Cut through those turns. Can I ask
(17:35):
the obvious question that no one has yet? Why were
you on her bus? How did that happen? Uh?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Someone from I think it was a system of a down,
had it they? I want to say it was probably
two thousand and four thousand and five. We did some
arena shows with them in Western Canada, and I think
that they were all riding on separate buses and they
just the company had sent that bus just for like
those couple of days. Okay, and so, and I could
have swore Mariah Carey. It might have been Mary J. Blige,
(18:01):
but I want to say it was right here.
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Well, he hates everything, and he has he has no fun.
And you heard the top three things he likes in life.
You never got to five. He got to two yesterday.
So he could only name two things that.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
The whole day. It wasn't cupcakes.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
I can tell you that we asked him five things
to make them happy. Yesterday he stopped it too, and
the second one was a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
It was a club and then the club sandwich about
my son. And then the second one was a club sandwich.
And then the guy came in and touch the club sandwich,
but the club sandwich, and I'm like, okay, that makes
him happy. So we got him a club sandwich. And yeah,
he hated it, but it was a little dry. And
my wife was like, I didn't even make the top five.
Speaker 8 (18:43):
I'm like, don't lest how wanted it. Don't nobody gets hurt.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
She accept your apology for calling her the drive. Yeah,
that was that was That was. Oh by the way, I.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
Said, as a joke, I called you a name, I said,
and she's like, what name? I you know, just a lady,
A lady, name a lady.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
That name you might call a lady if you're mad
at her.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
I said, it was all. It was all in good fun.
I was all hopped up on five hour energy that
she didn't she didn't. I mean I want to take
I mean she took it. And then the uh, now
they get women. Women don't like to hear that. Even
if we Joe Lenny, I'll punch you right in your
did you have to sleep on the couch. Yeah, but
(19:28):
it's it's a situation anyway, but it takes in another apartment.
Let's say it's a let's call it. It's a fluid situation.
But anyway, here's the point.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
And he's the nicest guy in the on the planet.
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Well, it's hard to be a dick when you're Mike Bushetty.
When you can't put your headphones on. You're at the
mercy of people.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (19:44):
You need a lot of help. You can't if you
can't fucking zip your own fly. Better be nice to people.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You can't have an attitude right because no one's going
to help you. I turns out to can feed myself.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
I'm all right, you're at the mercy of people.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
He let me ask you a question. Is Kevin going
to your wedding as he invited? No? No, No, that's weird.
Is that a real thing? Yeah? Because his fiance hates
I don't want to, Jason, I don't want to, Jink.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Can't you behave for four hours in a wedd if
he put you at a back table where you always
put the unruly ones?
Speaker 9 (20:22):
Hey man, these damn boys around here. I don't know
much about God, damn she married and ship reach?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Are you doing a character? Is that your real voice?
Speaker 9 (20:34):
That's Chuck and my real voice?
Speaker 7 (20:38):
How things at Hazard County?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
See what I gotta do with Chuckxy? Is it because
you don't think he's going to behave? Is that why
you're not inviting him? Gina hates him? She does hates she.
He's so mean to me. He's so mean. This is
as nice as he is ever. Wait, actual hate. Yeah,
she's hot. Yeah, they're like I think they're like a
(21:05):
married couple. I guess they do a lot of that bickering. Hey, Chuck,
can I ask you a question? How do you feel
about cupcakes?
Speaker 9 (21:11):
I kind of fucking mass and it's hard to eat
him without.
Speaker 6 (21:19):
He'll attack me for something as basic as a cupcake.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I'm gay because I hate cupcakes? Well you are gay?
Come on, it's not even debate now. But whose idea was?
The cake pops? The cake pops, cake ball at the
cake falls? You heard the cake falls. That's her. She
loves desserts. Chuck.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
What do you think about Lenny never having a beer
and then when he does have a beer he doesn't
enjoy the taste.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
Yes, when I first started drinking beer about I didn't
enjoy the eater, but hey, she drank them and I
get better, and I don't know, I love them cold beer.
I don't know how anybody would lock it. How is
this guy?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I know, he's eating cupcase, he's got a purple umbrella,
is doing his wedding.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
There's a lot of red time. It sounds good, it
doesn't sound good. I think Lenny's in his forties. In
his forties, oh, he been younger.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
I didn't know if he just got out of one.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
He's got the voice that could be like, yeah, like
get married, right, Jamie's being being married a bunch of
cupcakes and then the cake balls.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
No, No, it's hard.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
So I'm basically telling Lenny like like it's like and
Lenny's like, no, it's gonna work out.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I'm like, I don't think it is well. I mean,
you gotta go in with the right attitude like it's
gonna work. But Kevin goes over that everything with the
wrong adam. I'm just saying, in reality, it's hard work.
You gotta work at this, like it's with the claw machine.
If you go in the claw machine thinking I'm never
gonna get one. You're never gonna get one. Yeah, it's
one in fifty shots. Well, I'm gonna be optimistic. You
fucking creep.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
That, yes, because we learned that you'll never playing the
claw machine.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I'm not playing anymore. I'm gonna I'm gonna pay the guy.
Speaker 9 (23:02):
Does he drake water?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
No, chuck?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Do you think he could fit in in Asheville with
the new community coming in?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 9 (23:12):
I did bunch of them damn gags and let the
flowed down the French Broad River there in Ashville, and
I had rainbow inner tubes and oh oh ship, he
could get out plow down there with him.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Letty could go on a cupcake. Letty could be the mayor.
He could be the mayor of the town. Sound like fun.
Speaker 8 (23:33):
It's like when the Wizard of Oz came to I like,
he automatically becomes our leader with this purple umbrella I
really made.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You won't lose the purple umbrel.
Speaker 7 (23:46):
Everybody you know it's yours because nobody else has the right.
It's like having a purple suitcase bag.
Speaker 9 (23:51):
Grown A grown man's got a purple umbrell.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yes, oh god, and he's got married to a lady.
That's what happens up in New York City. But Chuck,
what do you think of a guy that has a
purple umbrella? It's in his forties. You're judging me by
an umbrella? Come on, Chuck?
Speaker 9 (24:13):
Did he borrow it from his.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Yeah? Did you buy it? Or did you buy it
from a good question? That's a good question. Try to
have that one in the apartment, Like what have him killed?
He's my friends. I'm done for a long time.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
I think I think quarantine gave up a while ago.
It's a helpless case. And Jim and I are really
good friends.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Can you believe with everybody I want to meet Chuck?
I loved you. He's awesome. He I don't agree with
a lot of his ship, but he's awesome.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
His beliefs are completely asked backwards, but he seems lovable
in a.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Beliefs you know, relate to a lot of people out there.
I know the man. Some of the feedback I get
after a Chuck phone call, right, wow.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
But that's why you have to have a civil conversation though,
because he seems like a lovable guy, even though you
don't agree with his stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
But everybody goes right.
Speaker 7 (25:03):
To You're an idiot and entertaining coming from a death
metal guy.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Let's have a stable conversation.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
Boo boo.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Boom boom, boo boo boo boo boo boom
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Boom
I'd like to take a date there and just not
pay anything, you know what I mean, day to a
super cheap day.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Yeah, it's like I don't have to pay anything, right
getting lin this isn't going so well, I am I
fucking spending any money.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
You'll find out if she really, you know, likes you
if you.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Take her to a super pol That's the thing I
did to go on this date, and I had a
gift card. I knew she eventually was going to go
to the bathroom. We're hanging and having beers and stuff,
So as soon as she went in there, I slipped
it to the.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
F you knew you would have your chair. That's a lot.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
I know what, I'm not going to see us fucking
six beers and if she's going to break that seal soon.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Right, So yeah, but soon as the podcast is over,
you're not going to talk to Lenny anymore, right, you'll
just be cordial.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Well, I have to talk to him because he fixes
my computer.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So the rule of thumb with with the online is
you go to the third picture. That's what they really
look like. The first one is the best picture they've
ever took in their life. Okay, it's the greatest picture ever.
Slide to the third one, and then you see what
they really look like. They start off with a nine,
they're down to like a six or five and a
half by the third picture.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
And by the third picture that they're just kind of
getting lazy, and you're like, ah, that's just what they
look like.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Absolutely, it's always the third but third one is never
the best one.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
There's no fucking way at first one is that killer shot.
That's a good tip for the people out there.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Go to the third bit, right, Like, I don't want
to eat anything that's factory farmed.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I just don't.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
What's the point You're just consuming suffering? How are you not?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No, you're right, Absolutely, I was just a sedona. Yeah,
there's so much cool shit out there. I got to
go back. Did you get massages and all that stuff?
I did?
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Ever?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Wreaki work and all that I did? It was weird.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Just like woman was probably like fifty five or sixty
and she's working on me. She's talking to me and
all this new age shit and whatever. I'm just I'm
into what. I'm like, oh whatever, I'm listening and she's
giving me a massage and I just.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Had I got it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I got an erection because she was doing it and
she started fucking like grabbing my but she was just
kind of like, it's just okay.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I'm like, yeah, it's fine. I'm like, this woman's gonna
put me off.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
She was like sixty and then all this shit and
this all incense fucking burning. I'm like, this is weird.
She's not Asian. I'm not in this some sleazy place.
And she's like, you can grab me if you want.
She's like put in my head and grabbing her ass.
I'm like, all right, fine, this one was like sixty
years old. I got an erection, I'm grabbing her ask.
I'm like, this is fuck. I go I'm gonna this
woman right like. I'm like at that point, and she's
(02:10):
like it feels good, doesn't it. She goes, you can
grab it's okay, and I'm like all right, and I'm
doing this and all of a sudden, like and my
hour was up, and she's like okay, thanks, and I'm like,
now what is what was really? If you want to
come back, I'm here for the next couple of days.
I know you're only in town, but if you need
another hour session, just let me know. When I walked
out of it with a fucking erection.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
I'm like, what the fuck? Was no finish? No, no
finish because I don't think she was even into that.
Like I was thinking, now, how do you how do you? Uh?
You know whatever? No, there's so many questions a little time,
but listen.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
We ate the reindeer. I felt bad about that. You
don't want to eat Rudolph.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How do you know?
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You can let me tell your kid. You can't tell
your kid you ate the reindeer?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
How did the reindeer taste?
Speaker 4 (02:51):
They seasoned it, well, it was good. One of the
bands I think was eating and they didn't know it
was reindeer and they were bummed the yeah, like they
were backstage and there because I don't believe in Christmas.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Yeah, like you just ate Rudeolph? Buster Sorry they were yeah, yeh,
big old happy Friday.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What would Friday be without cupcakes?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
It would just be another Friday, That's all it would be.
He can do any claw machine. We did a whole
tour with him, like a ten ten week tour. Every
time we would stop, the buses, you know, would go
like a seventy six or a truck stop. He gets
every claw machine. He wins every one win about how
do you win a claw machine? It's amazing because.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I imagine if that was your dad and you and
he won every time. Dude, I was just in wild
Wood on the boardwalk.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
We spent I don't know, at least one hundred dollars
on the claw machines because we're all to you know, uh,
the Philly side here. We got there's so many little kids,
so we're all playing the claw machines, trying to win
and be a hero to our kids.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
And then we fucking struck out. S Grinder that's his name.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
My brother Dan is amazing at the claw machine and
we got Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
I don't know what he does.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
I try to do when I lose, and my son's like,
come on, dad, win me something.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
I go.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Let let Uncle Dan do what That was a gimmick
you could win that. He's amazing at it.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
It's it's the most brilliant thing because every time you
feel like you're that close, it always lifts it up
in the air and then drops it and then it
fucking drops it.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Yeah, somebody's psychopath who created that clumb team? Do you
know what I mean? It's like, I'm.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Gonna get it exactly where they think they have it.
Speaker 7 (04:25):
It's that's when your kids get really mad because you
have it in the grip and then it drops and
they're like you fucking let me.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I'm like I know, and they're.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Convinced that all it is is another quarter and they're
gonna get that myphe. We were there hours straight and
some of the kids left crying every time.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Son of a Wait, how does he know how to
do that? He's got the like the Jedi master? Way man,
what's the technique? He's got some kind of weird.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
On his Instagram. He's he's holding how many that's at
least six? Damn way more than eight. He's got eight
of them from toys r Us. Wait, he just went
in the toys.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I've never seen a crane machine and toys. R Us
would also like to a boardwalk in the background, Kevin,
if you moved to the West Coast you started doing
arenas all right, would you? And Lenny's like, Hey, I'm
coming out to West Coast? Can I stay in your mansion?
What's your answer?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Oh that would be no, I can tell you today.
But just so he could see how big my man.
You know what, that's the correct answers. Absolutely, Look how
happy you are, Lenny.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Who doesn't he's bringing them. It's not like he dropped
the cupcakes. Just make me angry. No cupcakes like you
don't know. I don't like that you don't they have
a cupcake store.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
I'm basically saying it's done because he if you're telling
half the population you're not welcome here because the guy
can't go into a cupcake store and buy a cupcake?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Why not because it's gay? Not gay? But do you
eat it? Right? I got to see how you eat it? Cupcakes? Yeah,
first you got to eat it. The man's no show him.
Let's see how you see how you eat He's gonna
eat it like he's sucking.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's how a cupcake, A grown man eating a cupcake
should eat it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So look around the first the helmets, all right, I
just eat that's it. No, you don't.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Do it that way because now you gotta swirl your
tongue around your mouth to get.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
The eat a cupcake like that? Right here you go? Ready,
Letty can't win. I can't win if I can't eat.
This is how man eats a cupcake. You gotta break
a piece off, right, you.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Gotta take the bottom of Yeah, alright, sorry your spot, but.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
A cupcakes sandwichwich cake sandwich Dennis, very good.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
What about the one with the coins, like I always
just want to shake that fucking thing, so the coins
all fall off of the front. But then you get
in trouble, so like when the when trouble, No, that's
a bump.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
You gotta time your bomb. That's all like a quick bomb.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
What about the tickets, like you you got to have
forty thousand tickets to get the fucking lava lamp, and
you know the guy's back there. You just want to
give them five bucks. It's made in China. It couldn't
cost more than a dollar to manufacture such.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
A scam because to the kids, it's like gold.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
The basketball thing, the tension, you can't even fit the ball,
the ball squashed the rim.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
You're looking at it. It doesn't look like it's an
oblong or whatever. Yeah, it's an oval oval right right?
Why saylong?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
And then when you do win one of those big,
huge stuffed animals, you get it to the car and
the arm's falling off, the stuffing's coming out, your kids.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Crying they've been there too long.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You know.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Or you buy your kid like the funnel cake and
it's got everything on it and they walk like two
feet and it's right in the dirt.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I've been there. I was just there and wold wood.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Everything you're saying is right. We didn't get the big
stuffed animal.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Color blind? So what color is the frosting? I'm colorblind?
What kind of colors? Can't you say? Purple? So you
can't so you can't see? And his umbrella, he's not
a blue umbrella. But no, he's got a purple umbrella.
You've got a purple umbre. Who who I thought they
have a kidd? You have a purple umbrella right there.
You're the only one that brought an umbrella. It was pouring,
I got one. It's never black. You brought one, yeah,
(08:16):
because it was raining, Is that right? No, I'd rather
fucking get wet. I can't this one way slipping Rihanna
and umbrella. That's a good one. Yeah, but you had
a car. Didn't you have a car? Drive you here? Well?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Good point, But I mean I don't want a car
all the time. And when when it's raining, I never
bring an umbrella.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
No, I use umbrella. Really yeah, thank you. Fuck. But
cupcakes are overrated. Okay, they're overrated. What do you mean
they're overrated? They're not rated, and they are. They're overrated.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Different kids cupcakes that you know once in a while
and adult can have one if someone made them.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Yeah you know, mom made the cupcakes. Take an hour.
All that. They're overrated.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
When you go to a party and someone puts out
the cupcakes, it's over. The party is over. It's like
something you came and you just want to leave. You
get this a lot of your hotel or I gotta.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Go look at simple things way too deep. No, I don't.
It's a cupcake. It's just there for pleasure.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
It's just who has pleasure party adults life has no
pleasure in his life? What he doesn't, but he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Have a lot.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Did you do like the camel ride and the camel.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Yeah, I went to the I think it.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Was Guildford Fair. Yeah, they had they had like a
miserable camel there, felt terrible.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I did the elephant ride my son. Yeah, and yeah
in the camel ride we did both.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, we got a sacrifice one. It's too late for
that elephant. So We're okay with that.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
It was in the middle of a field in Jersey.
It was like one hundred and ten degrees. You rode
a real elephant. Yeah, they had they have him in Jersey.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, they did, like a field in the middle of
nowhere to have like they set up a little fucking pop.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Up depressing carnival. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (09:49):
I tried the camel to ride and that it didn't
work out for the kids.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
How much is that ride? About a quarter? Yeah? Clown
from slid Now he was.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
They were gonna burn camel ship at not fest. Like
why they wanted like their own like you know, smell
like their own incense to the festival.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Some fan on Twitter goes, Lenny wanted you to drink alcohol.
Lenny goes, well, I don't like the taste.
Speaker 8 (10:16):
And I'm like, I'm like, well, you don't drink alcohol
for the taste, really drinking to get drink. It's like
it's like saying I don't need pussy foot because I
don't like the taste, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
I don't like the cupcakes, not the alcohol, you know
what I mean? Like I got excited for I got
little kid's taste. What do you want?
Speaker 8 (10:29):
Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying, up cupcakes, I want to
go a little kids party.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That he's a fucking drug man. Such a group who
wants to be a grown up like.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
You, And he's like Lenn, He's like, I was late
because a Yankee game was on, and like, you're your
fucking ten man.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Let him burn their camel shit.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Who cares they're not burning the actual camel noway, it
was the.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Group's intend to fill oil drums with camel poop then
set it on fire to create the official not Fest.
Percussion is Sean Cran You gotta get him on the show.
Percussionist Sean Kran stayed in a recent interview that they
had used camel dunkscent in the past and it went
over very well or well. He stated, it's got a
very distinct smell. You can't huff it, but it's got
this smell. It's not necessarily the most comfortable thing. It's
(11:17):
not necessarily the worst thing.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh man, that's all right. They're just trying to fuck
with people's heads a little bit. Yeah, I'd rather smell
animal shit than body odor.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
It's like the blooming onion and got his tinder date
at Apple I'd rather smell that.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Than the rough.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
I would smell the in a in like a train station. Noah, bad,
you gotta smell the smell up a fucking train station.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Now it's so hot out here that you'll go into
a subway car. You're like, oh, it's air conditioned, there'll
be nobody in it. You walk in this one guy
and it's disgusting his pants. Yeah, but he has the
whole car to himself.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
So I do that sometimes just to have some privacy.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
You gotta get room for yourself in the city. I
ship my pants and I get on the elk shoor.
You let let a little nugget out. Keep everyone honest.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Because on this vacation I went on, I was witnessing
every morning the single couples, like or the ones that
are dating or just met up. They do that thing
where they leave the hotel room and they run to
the lobby to ship because they don't want to like
blow it out in the room.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
You do that like, I don't even know that. Well.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
I mean back in the day, you had a girl
to your hotel room and you wake up in the
morning and you you know you were out, You're drinking
forties're eating taco bell You're gonna blowed into a milin diarrhea.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Yeah wait, wait no, But I mean, how do you
know when you're that you see a couple.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
And you know what they're up to, because I'm in
the lobby and you see these two they're walking down
there holding their hands, and then they get to.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
The lobby and they both jet to the each side
of the back. They can't hold it in.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah, because when you're in the hotel, of course you
don't want to do that, or you just go, hey,
I'm going to go down the front desk and get
some more towels.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
We have enough now, let me get check. And then
I'm gone for a half hour. And then she's like
where were you? And I was like, guy, I ran
to a guy I went to high school.
Speaker 9 (13:13):
With, but.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Come back with no towels, no towels.
Speaker 7 (13:17):
I'm like, yeah, yeah, using the white my ass.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
But he's also known to have, you know, dropped in
in the wastebasket in the room.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
What wasn't that you now with norm or something? You
left something behind him?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
He's the upper deck. What's the story? Then you leave
a log?
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Norton did that in Bob Kelly's hotel room.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Okay, I got some stories mixed up. Come on, I
got class. I saw your face the stories you told.
I'm like, wow, I finally found his line. I would
never do that.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
We used to do construction and like my friend was
paint had the cleanest bathroom. Was an old shitty house
and it was like one hundred degrees and there was
nowhere condition, middle of the summer, and I shipped in
a bad like a shopping bag, and I threw it
in this little bathroom with no window, and he was
in there a whole day.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
It fucking stinks in here.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
What there was so much stuff and that he couldn't
find it, And I come down, I come down, now, go.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
I don't smell anything, because you don't smell that.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And at the end of the day you found that
I shit in the bag, and.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
You smell that the whole day. You hot bag it
all the time. That's the thing. We throw it out
the vent and like the European buses, like if you're
on a twelve hour ride to Slovenia and you can't stop,
you hot bag it and then you throw it out.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
You ship in the bag, you hold the bag and
you ship like.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Yeah, and then you know, and then the car behind
you gets a surprise on the window, gets.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
A ship bag on the launch on their windshield. Wait,
you guys are hardcore. I thought the rule of not
shitting on the bus was the band's rule. No, it's
the bus bus company. The bus company doesn't want you
shitting on.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
The bus to find you. Yeah, I didn't know that
unless you're like a Mariah Carey. She's got the grinder
on her bus. I saw her bus once. She's got
a grinder in there, grinds the ship up and makes
it into like a ship makes it. Yeah, it's like
a it's like a ship cube that gets like wound
up into it like a thing. And then you know the.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Carrey has some rough fucking shit, you think. So, yes,
she she's she's got a grinder.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, she got those kinder So so her and the kids.
They can ship on the bus if they have to,
which is convenient. Some busses can do it, some RVs
can do it. I don't know if anybody what's the.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Convenience of being on a bus If you can't shop,
get you got to ship in a bag.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, that's it's just because it stinks up the whole
bus in the bathroom and all that stuff, and it
goes in the little tank and it's too massive.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
You don't have the right chemicals.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
It will stink quick and dude, I'm.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Taking Greyhound, but seriously, uh so, I just can't imagine
you have to ship in a bag though, yeah, yeah,
hot bag it.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
You gotta be care. At one time when I took
a ship on a tour bus, the whole of the
toilet isn't big enough because you're not supposed to ship,
You're only supposed to piss. I took a nice big
ship and then I had to find something like stuff
it into the hole to get rid of it.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
What happens on the tour buses too, is like you know,
you'll drive through tonight. You get to the venue at
like six seven in the morning, they park out back,
and then everybody, including the roadies, has to ship because
they drove through the night, so that there's a line
of like ten fucking roadies in front of you taking
the ship in their life, and you're number eleven in line,
just shitting in the same bowl because maybe there's only
one bathroom open at that time. The venue is still
(16:18):
locked and you have to wait online to fucking ship
after ten people just shit in that toilet the seat is.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Still warm, or fucking reeks.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Or you gotta build a nest. You got to have
the outer nest and you don't want the splash back.
Nowadays with the bacteria, you never know what I'll splash back.
You don't want that. You got to have a nest.
Rock and Roll, Kevin, Huh, you know what I mean.
Backs one of the.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Guys that was telling me.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
One of the guys in the band was telling me,
because when you get to the venue, if it's open,
go ship in the ladies room because nobody will be
in there.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
All the roadies go in the guys room. So you
just go in and you go right in the ladies room.
You're shit in there. Nobody even comes in. He disagreed
with me.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
He said that the ladies' bathrooms are way worse by
the end of the night.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I just think in the morning when they're clean or
whatever like that. But you don't have to worry about it. Polsley.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
They pull out their tamps and just throw them up
against the wall.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
And on the ceiling. Try to get them to stick
he was telling us that, right, Yeah, that's what he
don't know. I didn't look up. I was daydreaming about, Uh,
Mariah Carey's grinder. The grinders probably really again overheating. I
think it's overheating. Cut through those turns. Can I ask
(17:35):
the obvious question that no one has yet? Why were
you on her bus? How did that happen? Uh?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Someone from I think it was a system of a down,
had it they? I want to say it was probably
two thousand and four thousand and five. We did some
arena shows with them in Western Canada, and I think
that they were all riding on separate buses and they
just the company had sent that bus just for like
those couple of days. Okay, and so, and I could
have swore Mariah Carey. It might have been Mary J. Blige,
(18:01):
but I want to say it was right here.
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Well, he hates everything, and he has he has no fun.
And you heard the top three things he likes in life.
You never got to five. He got to two yesterday.
So he could only name two things that.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
The whole day. It wasn't cupcakes.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
I can tell you that we asked him five things
to make them happy. Yesterday he stopped it too, and
the second one was a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
It was a club and then the club sandwich about
my son. And then the second one was a club sandwich.
And then the guy came in and touch the club sandwich,
but the club sandwich, and I'm like, okay, that makes
him happy. So we got him a club sandwich. And yeah,
he hated it, but it was a little dry. And
my wife was like, I didn't even make the top five.
Speaker 8 (18:43):
I'm like, don't lest how wanted it. Don't nobody gets hurt.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
She accept your apology for calling her the drive. Yeah,
that was that was That was. Oh by the way, I.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
Said, as a joke, I called you a name, I said,
and she's like, what name? I you know, just a lady,
A lady, name a lady.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
That name you might call a lady if you're mad
at her.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
I said, it was all. It was all in good fun.
I was all hopped up on five hour energy that
she didn't she didn't. I mean I want to take
I mean she took it. And then the uh, now
they get women. Women don't like to hear that. Even
if we Joe Lenny, I'll punch you right in your
did you have to sleep on the couch. Yeah, but
(19:28):
it's it's a situation anyway, but it takes in another apartment.
Let's say it's a let's call it. It's a fluid situation.
But anyway, here's the point.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
And he's the nicest guy in the on the planet.
Speaker 7 (19:39):
Well, it's hard to be a dick when you're Mike Bushetty.
When you can't put your headphones on. You're at the
mercy of people.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (19:44):
You need a lot of help. You can't if you
can't fucking zip your own fly. Better be nice to people.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
You can't have an attitude right because no one's going
to help you. I turns out to can feed myself.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
I'm all right, you're at the mercy of people.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
He let me ask you a question. Is Kevin going
to your wedding as he invited? No? No, No, that's weird.
Is that a real thing? Yeah? Because his fiance hates
I don't want to, Jason, I don't want to, Jink.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Can't you behave for four hours in a wedd if
he put you at a back table where you always
put the unruly ones?
Speaker 9 (20:22):
Hey man, these damn boys around here. I don't know
much about God, damn she married and ship reach?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Are you doing a character? Is that your real voice?
Speaker 9 (20:34):
That's Chuck and my real voice?
Speaker 7 (20:38):
How things at Hazard County?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
See what I gotta do with Chuckxy? Is it because
you don't think he's going to behave? Is that why
you're not inviting him? Gina hates him? She does hates she.
He's so mean to me. He's so mean. This is
as nice as he is ever. Wait, actual hate. Yeah,
she's hot. Yeah, they're like I think they're like a
(21:05):
married couple. I guess they do a lot of that bickering. Hey, Chuck,
can I ask you a question? How do you feel
about cupcakes?
Speaker 9 (21:11):
I kind of fucking mass and it's hard to eat
him without.
Speaker 6 (21:19):
He'll attack me for something as basic as a cupcake.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I'm gay because I hate cupcakes? Well you are gay?
Come on, it's not even debate now. But whose idea was?
The cake pops? The cake pops, cake ball at the
cake falls? You heard the cake falls. That's her. She
loves desserts. Chuck.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
What do you think about Lenny never having a beer
and then when he does have a beer he doesn't
enjoy the taste.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
Yes, when I first started drinking beer about I didn't
enjoy the eater, but hey, she drank them and I
get better, and I don't know, I love them cold beer.
I don't know how anybody would lock it. How is
this guy?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I know, he's eating cupcase, he's got a purple umbrella,
is doing his wedding.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
There's a lot of red time. It sounds good, it
doesn't sound good. I think Lenny's in his forties. In
his forties, oh, he been younger.
Speaker 9 (22:14):
I didn't know if he just got out of one.
Speaker 8 (22:18):
He's got the voice that could be like, yeah, like
get married, right, Jamie's being being married a bunch of
cupcakes and then the cake balls.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
No, No, it's hard.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
So I'm basically telling Lenny like like it's like and
Lenny's like, no, it's gonna work out.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
I'm like, I don't think it is well. I mean,
you gotta go in with the right attitude like it's
gonna work. But Kevin goes over that everything with the
wrong adam. I'm just saying, in reality, it's hard work.
You gotta work at this, like it's with the claw machine.
If you go in the claw machine thinking I'm never
gonna get one. You're never gonna get one. Yeah, it's
one in fifty shots. Well, I'm gonna be optimistic. You
fucking creep.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
That, yes, because we learned that you'll never playing the
claw machine.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
I'm not playing anymore. I'm gonna I'm gonna pay the guy.
Speaker 9 (23:02):
Does he drake water?
Speaker 3 (23:03):
No, chuck?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Do you think he could fit in in Asheville with
the new community coming in?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 9 (23:12):
I did bunch of them damn gags and let the
flowed down the French Broad River there in Ashville, and
I had rainbow inner tubes and oh oh ship, he
could get out plow down there with him.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Letty could go on a cupcake. Letty could be the mayor.
He could be the mayor of the town. Sound like fun.
Speaker 8 (23:33):
It's like when the Wizard of Oz came to I like,
he automatically becomes our leader with this purple umbrella I
really made.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You won't lose the purple umbrel.
Speaker 7 (23:46):
Everybody you know it's yours because nobody else has the right.
It's like having a purple suitcase bag.
Speaker 9 (23:51):
Grown A grown man's got a purple umbrell.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Yes, oh god, and he's got married to a lady.
That's what happens up in New York City. But Chuck,
what do you think of a guy that has a
purple umbrella? It's in his forties. You're judging me by
an umbrella? Come on, Chuck?
Speaker 9 (24:13):
Did he borrow it from his.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Yeah? Did you buy it? Or did you buy it
from a good question? That's a good question. Try to
have that one in the apartment, Like what have him killed?
He's my friends. I'm done for a long time.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
I think I think quarantine gave up a while ago.
It's a helpless case. And Jim and I are really
good friends.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Can you believe with everybody I want to meet Chuck?
I loved you. He's awesome. He I don't agree with
a lot of his ship, but he's awesome.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
His beliefs are completely asked backwards, but he seems lovable
in a.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Beliefs you know, relate to a lot of people out there.
I know the man. Some of the feedback I get
after a Chuck phone call, right, wow.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
But that's why you have to have a civil conversation though,
because he seems like a lovable guy, even though you
don't agree with his stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
But everybody goes right.
Speaker 7 (25:03):
To You're an idiot and entertaining coming from a death
metal guy.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Let's have a stable conversation.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
Boo boo.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Boom boom, boo boo boo boo boo boom
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Boom
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