April 5, 2025 • 22 mins
Buckle up for a laugh-packed episode of Comedy Quick Hits with Opie! This time, we’ve got side-splitting moments from the Opie Radio podcast featuring an all-star lineup: Pete Davidson, Theo Von, Nick Diaz, Carl Ruiz, Matt Farrah (The Smoking Tire), Jamey Jasta (Hatebreed), Jackie The Jokeman (Howard Stern Show), Kristen Bell, and Ron the Waiter. From stolen identities and nightmare wives to dad jokes, sobriety struggles, and a mind-blowing elevator ride with Asians, this episode’s got it all—plus Trump’s reading woes, dating app disasters, and a clever underwear-hiding trick. Heaven, hell, and jump ropes collide in this hilarious, unfiltered comedy free-for-all!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
But I'll talk to you. Something in me that day said,
but I'll talk to you.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And I picked this woman to be my therapist because
she really understands. Uh, oh, you have to check your
Instagram now. I guess like this would be an important
time to check your instagram.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I knew when I got my wife pregnant, Like I
was like, that's the one, and all the time you
try to do it, I was like, that's the one,
So maybe it's just like a special.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
How did you know?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
You just knew because you know, when you just regular,
when you just regularly shoot a load, it's just normal.
That one just felt like it came from my toes.
I stepped back and I was like, you got a baby,
You're a pregnant flow.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
It's like ski bowl.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
When you let that one go, you know, you even
release it. Yeah, you're like, we're going home, kiddie. Top
left corner, baby, get you a plastic spider ring five thousand,
ten thousand, seventy thousand. That even matters where top left
corner value.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I know it well. So many tickets.
Speaker 6 (00:56):
I remember one day I was walking, I was I
was in my car and you were outside with Sharad
and Vic and I was leaving because I had to
go back to work, and you're like, yo, yo, yo,
you see me in the car. You ran into the
street and you threw a ten thousand dollars check into
my fucking car, and you looked at me and you
said thank you very much that. I said, you know
(01:17):
what there, that guy did not have to do that.
You did not have to do that, but that you did.
I'll go to war for you any day, and I
appreciate that. I like that you told people that, you know,
I put the check in the bank and then Marie
probably spent it with her mom at a spot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Christ oh lord, lety litty learning.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Yeah, dude, I mean these days, I feel like you're
probably gonna get It's better than getting mugged, you know.
Speaker 7 (01:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
I'd rather if somebody steal my identity, steal my money
electronically than just getting beaten down for it and gunned
up to the face.
Speaker 8 (01:51):
Before they pop your eyeballs and that's about it.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Go home with a black eye and no credit cards.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Identity. That's way like this new way they're doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Way better to be mugged and fucking identity.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
You don't cry or sleep before you go to bed
thinking about the incident.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
When you got your identity robs and then you look cool.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
You have a black guye for a few days, calling
your bank and getting everything back together.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's true. Maybe the old fashioned way is better.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
Like a man, I'm theft is brutal, I'm mugging is
not so much.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You see that? You like that?
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
The girls with the muscles, No, son't you, son of
a bitch. We're gonna fight. We're gonna fight today.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I don't know, man, I feel like, uh, by this point,
it's got to be pretty full hell, you think, yeah, But.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
I mean, so it's heaven.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, man, there's way more people in hell than happen.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Yea, there's probably like eighty people in heaven.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 5 (02:48):
There's we got a lot of room in heaven, but
we're all going to hell.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
You go.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I'm good. I'm willing to accept my seventeen year old
son and I didn't know about.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
That's a good.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm willing to give shit away for free if it
helps people. I think I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Well, I mean from what I've noticed that the generation
under us, the chicks are dudes and the dudes are chicks.
Speaker 10 (03:10):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
You know, like all the dudes, like the young dudes
that I hang out with, they're like sensitive, they're sensitive
and and they're hunted. Do girls go after them like
nobody went after me?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Ohpi, I had to like literally chase girls down.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
For months and go to buy them shit and do
like I had no I had no easy road for
courtship like the generation that I grew up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Now, these dudes are like yeah, yeah, just hanging out
playing video games with my friends. Some girls shows up
takes her top off, like it's just a whole other world.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
The girls are super aggressive.
Speaker 11 (03:45):
Now I've said this on my podcast this week. There
were people like people with trump pins of every race,
of every sex like there. I was really surprised, Like
there was Latinos, black dudes, older man, white, like.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
You never even smile at girls, like, well we go out,
you just you like fucking rain man.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You don't say that, but the girls gravitate towards that.
Speaker 12 (04:11):
Meanwhile, I'm like, helloi ha ha ha hala hala hala
hala hala hala hala haa.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Hello, hello, I'm right here. You got flags like you're
trying to land a plane and they still don't see you.
Speaker 12 (04:22):
I'm doing card tricks and shit, I'm blown up balloon
animals and stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
You're doing everything the Golden Knights are doing before they
start their hockey games, and the women still don't see you.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have the Golden Knights opening ceremony. Every time I
go into a bar, they still can't see you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Was really good.
Speaker 13 (04:46):
I know it was.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
I'm a funny fucking guy, and it's about time people
realize that, fuck you Trump.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I just love the fact that Trump was a non
politician and he was a guy that they gave him
a million dollars and turned into ten billion dollars.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
What did he say that you didn't like that?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I didn't like how he was.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I didn't like his whole like.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I went to one of his rallies in Tampa and
he came out, and he came out with that face,
and he went over and he hugged the flag, and
I thought, I don't knowough of that bullshit.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
She Asian too, that's not Asian.
Speaker 12 (05:16):
I'm squinting because the sun.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
She's squinting because the sun. And then and now you
think that she's Asian Oh, there's a girl you like
with the muscles, watch top of the pikes.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Remember, also, adult asthma is some bullshit, right, shut that down.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'll deport those people. You can't fit. You're fifty and
you can't breathe to hit on the heaven.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
What about a peanut allergy?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
People, I just can't deal with lot.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I got some weird fucking ailments, but no peanut allergy here. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Man, I'm old enough to remember that there was no
peanut allergy, so I don't know what the fuck they
did differently that. Now you can't bring a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich to school because one kid might die.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, oh, well that to go.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Oh speaking of Asians, you want to hear something.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, the other day in my building, right, I get
in an elevator, Three Asians get in the elevator with me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, they got off on two different floors. Mind blown.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
I just want to point out with it, just like
my family and everybody else, you motherfucker's blow off my molestation.
You did not care.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I care, nobody cares, dude. I'm the radio guy in
the room. I'm waiting for five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Everyone's in their cars.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm not stupid.
Speaker 10 (06:38):
I know you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I know you bro sitting there going when are you
gonna get to that story? I'm just saying, did you
get a lot of people that are like you're the man?
That's great? I would have killed for that. You say
people weren't sensitive.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You're you're rushing it now. Now we're waiting at five o'clock.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
No, my mind was blown. No, no, laugh all you want,
but my mind was blown. Three Asian people got on
the elevator with me, and stupid me.
Speaker 9 (07:04):
Is assuming they're all gonna get off on one floor
because they're all related and possibly, you know, all one family.
They got off on two different floors without talking to
each other, and my mind couldn't process it.
Speaker 12 (07:17):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13 (07:18):
Not kidding?
Speaker 12 (07:20):
You need to go to a mind hospital.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
You see children making out a lot, I'll see little children.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
I pulled over those, some children making out by the
street side a couple of years ago, by middle school,
and I pulled over them, two young fellas and they
couldn't have been but ten eleven years old, and I
told them shut it down, guys, you know you to
shut it down. Yeah, they come back in a year
or two you know, meet up here in a couple
of years and see what's going on.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
You know, But at this age, it just seemed like there's.
Speaker 8 (07:44):
No they're growing up a lot faster these days. Yeah,
maybe that's true. Trying to avoid that pen analogy.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
These dudes were going after it.
Speaker 9 (07:54):
What's that?
Speaker 12 (07:55):
She must have heard me talking.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh, you're my mom. Let's put her on.
Speaker 12 (08:00):
I'll just call and tall I'll call later.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
But you got to hear her voice. Be great?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Can you put her voice on the podcast?
Speaker 12 (08:05):
She doesn't speak English.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Wait, you're gonna speak another language?
Speaker 9 (08:10):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
What is the star Trek? Yeah?
Speaker 12 (08:14):
Hello, mommy? You super BC.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Let me.
Speaker 13 (08:25):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Wow, that's impressive. What like do you dream in that language?
Speaker 12 (08:33):
That's the language A love homeboy?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I tried it for six years.
Speaker 14 (08:38):
I sucked.
Speaker 12 (08:39):
I can go into a restaurant and get all the
Latin people that work there all together in one room,
like Aquaman with fish.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I've seen children making it out. I seen him in bed,
you know, walk in and the two kids in bed,
and you're like, all right, guys, let's shut it down.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
You know.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Usually I would say something like.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That, shut it down. Police. So you're coming upon a
lot of.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Fucking where are these kids making out the nephews and
stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
You'll come upon him.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
And shut it down off. Shut it down. Guy.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
You know you went comparing Roll into a Navy seal.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You can compare him to a regular seal, right there.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
My buddy's dad told us poll the poll or hold
a hole. That's what he said one time. First time
I stayed at my buddy's house. The dad came back in,
who were sharing a queen bed, me and my best
friend eleven. Dad said good night, came back in about
five seconds. Lady goes, now you fell us in sleep
pole the poll or hold a hole? But no sleeping
pole a hole.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
We couldn't even figure it out.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Always it head to foot and I'm like this motherfucker dogs.
Speaker 15 (09:48):
It was always had a foot. And why would he
give you the poll to poll option? Because that is
a docking. Docking years old, I understand hole. The whole
we literally could down. We laid like seven floor.
Speaker 12 (10:12):
You're making me walk through garbage. I'm about to throw
you in the back of garbage. The look at this
guy with the mom jeans.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
He works out.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's why I pushed it toward the garbage. He was
very uptight because he was behind us with his little
little shopping back. I want to throw him into traffic.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Maybe I find a woman of tender or something. You guys,
tender or not. I'm kind of hard you call it
tender tender?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:37):
The date app you're looking for your Tinderella where you
meet somebody for sex of friendship you're talking about.
Speaker 11 (10:42):
I know what it is I wish to do, trying
to be good with all that I'm trying to But
now pull it up there, let me do some hearts
on it.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I don't have I don't have any apps on right now.
Oh no, I have them all, but I don't have
any active. He's not masturbating, and he's not like I'm
just dealing with It's a holiday.
Speaker 11 (10:58):
Profile says a parade route Tinder.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, what is like? What's your bio on this? This
profile says no pull to pull.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
No, we could go hold a hole. I'm just gonna
stay often, I guess, but I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Howard Stern is such a god. What word do I
want to use here?
Speaker 12 (11:20):
He's got a lot more running Big fan Howard, big fan,
Robin and the limo driver guy and Baba booi.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Oh, Carl just jumped into an uber. That's weird. I
hate stupid. Why why would you not take full advantage
of that?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Because I'm trying to. I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
What's the goal?
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Just keep my act because I feel like I'm having
trouble getting into a relationship because I'm just always just skey.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Just put a thing on ten and says looking for
anice lady to watch a parade with boom love right there.
The girls would fall in love with that ship. You think,
oh yeah, especially when you're good looking. Yeah, dude, I
used to fucking have to get chicks from AOL chat room.
I never had any.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You don't know what. They show up and you look
at the people and you're like, well, she came here
and let her in.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Yeah. I got met a girl at a gas station
one time. I took a month to get there, and
I was like, she did. She took a bus like
four hours and I.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Did not like her when I met her.
Speaker 13 (12:21):
So what you do?
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Brought her back to the house.
Speaker 9 (12:23):
I had to.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I had to.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
My folks are like, what's going on here? And I
was like, oh, just a friend visiting and I couldn't
remember name.
Speaker 16 (12:32):
I mean out with a girl that folls me on Twitter.
Speaker 13 (12:34):
That's congratulations. That's never happened to me.
Speaker 10 (12:37):
What she look like.
Speaker 16 (12:39):
Not like your profile.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Too, Man, Alzheimer's a big thing.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Man.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
We got to shut it down. You know, Hell, you
never know you got shipped for brains. You gotta replace
that ship for break.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
I'll let somebody say it turn into my ear if it.
Eli called that the afternoon, it was tender. I am
so lovely.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
Were lock Houbana Carl's new restaurant where Carl has been
since I saw him.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Twelve hours ago.
Speaker 16 (13:15):
The same stories with this guy.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I came in for a rare day in New York
City because in the summer I just chill out of
the beach. That came to lack Ubana, just like you
said when I found him passed out and boots boots
seventy eight. Yeah, so I was in seventy eight seventy eight,
passed down and they were checking his pulse.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I'm like, oh, that's good.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
A podcast. That's how I found him today.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Brought it.
Speaker 13 (13:41):
I don't remember his name, but dude over there in
the white shirt, I was like, Hey, I'm mad, is
is Carl around He's like, I'll look for him. I
was like, Oh, if he's busy, don't worry about all
the other he goes. We have different definitions of busys
and heads.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Carsleep, couch. He's like, hey, buddy, hey, buddy, your friend
that's here that we both love this guy. You have
the issues not hit jump rop. Jump rope is a
really solid tool. I think that more people should invest
in the jump rope and a lot of if you
don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
How to do it, it looks gay as fuck.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Yeah, jump rope.
Speaker 16 (14:22):
When I was a little kid, there was a place.
There was a place called Dollar Video and it was
like that. It was a video store and they had
a little it was a current. So I decided that
I was going to go and check out the touction.
And I was a kid, and I see all the
(14:44):
covers of all the videos. I gave myself a sidewinder. Right,
so I'm giving myself a sidewinder.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I have never heard that term before, but I immediately
know what you're exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
If you're a guy, you know what a sidewinder?
Speaker 16 (14:57):
Wait as you as you stay at I'm I'm sitting,
I'm standing inside this little curtained area of the video store.
I'm cubid, I'm ready to go right, ready to make
nineteen kids right, and.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I give myself.
Speaker 16 (15:13):
I'm starting to give myself a sideline.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
And I thought it was all cool.
Speaker 16 (15:15):
Then I got out. I got the Transformer and then
I came out and I go pick up the Transformers
movie box, which is what I wanted. Like back, there's
a cartoon Platformers movie. And I come up to the
counter and there's a girl, she's like nineteen years old.
As I'm handing here the video that I want to rent,
she looks at me and I look up and there's
(15:38):
a short circuit TV that had a camera you wear
the wear them was she watched me sidewine and I
give her this and she goes, you're fucking discussed.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yep, Yes, what about a dog? Do you let the
dog in the bed?
Speaker 11 (16:00):
I won't give the book because the dog, the dog
is terrible blocking you in the bed in the middle.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Don't ever let the dog sleep in the bad Yeah.
Actually had a bed with a woman in a huge
verman named Kobe.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Actually this is probably about nine years ago over there
in Philadelphia, a net I.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Think was her name, on Neettes.
Speaker 17 (16:20):
If you remember the dog's name and you had to
think of her name. Yeah, you had no doubt about
the dogs dog? Was that dog gave you some I
remember that dog shut her down.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
The dog is huge dog.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Why was it named Kobe?
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I don't know, and I didn't ask.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Man.
Speaker 13 (16:37):
The girl was so ugly, she's known as a two bag.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
That's a girl so ugly.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
You've not only got to put a bag over her head,
you got to put a bag over your own head
in case her bag rips.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Can you tell the tyrhea joke which I don't want
to give away, the funch line.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
The uncles, the doctors, doc, I got diarrhea?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Can I take a bath if you got enough?
Speaker 9 (17:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 16 (17:04):
You guys are rookies.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You have an underwear that is seen better days.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You don't throw them in the garbage.
Speaker 16 (17:13):
You put it in the drop ceiling.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I'm only renting.
Speaker 8 (17:20):
Sl star Pete Davidson says fuck you to Donald Trump
over criticism.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
He said, you bitch something like that, right, yeah, fuck
you bitch, Fuck you bitch. He swears it. He swears
that Donald Trump can't read. That's us. Swears story on
the show Donald Trump.
Speaker 14 (17:37):
He doesn't really know how to read. There was a
sketch that we wrote where he's at Disneyland with his
daughter and the line is, uh, all right, let's get
out of here Turkey legs, Like, let's go get turkey legs.
And he doesn't know how to read, so he went,
all right, let's get out of here turkey legs.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
He called his daughter turkey legs.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Even de Niro can't read a cute card. I know
de Niro could read.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
I just thought it's hilarious that Pete Davidson's claiming that
Donald Trump can't read.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Hilarious.
Speaker 18 (18:08):
So I had an appointment to donate blood don't do
it yesterday at five pm, and they turned me away.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
First time they have turned But you're the healthiest.
Speaker 10 (18:21):
Guy in the world.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
You tell us every week.
Speaker 18 (18:24):
I tried to save lives yesterday.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Did by not giving blood. He saved many New Yorkers lives.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yes, trust me, this guy's a mess.
Speaker 13 (18:34):
Did gratitude.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
He's a fucking mess.
Speaker 16 (18:36):
And had the best wedding I've ever been to, where
during the during the ceremony there was buckets of coronas
on each file.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
There's actually family traditions corona's.
Speaker 16 (18:47):
While they got married, I would have to have to
take your word for it, because, if I remember correctly,
the last time we podcasted, someone was hinting at bringing
me as his guest.
Speaker 13 (18:56):
I finally enjoyed Matt Farro. I would have been happy
to have you, but I thought it was weird to
invite you because we met weird. But I was gonna
go with his guest out, if you remember. But then
he forgot. I took, I took some girl.
Speaker 16 (19:09):
And and we it worked out. Oh my god, what
a breakup.
Speaker 13 (19:15):
So my now sister in law was like, man, that
guy Carl was really funny, but that girl he was
with not look happy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Now. That was the beginning of the That was the
beginning of the breakup.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yeah, I'm healthy and awake and drinking coffee.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
No more, no more pot, no more pot, no more.
Speaker 12 (19:34):
Shrooms, no more drinking, and no more SIGs, everything and everything.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It sucks.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Opy.
Speaker 16 (19:44):
So so she was a young girl, and God bless her.
She doesn't understand strategy.
Speaker 18 (19:51):
I was.
Speaker 16 (19:51):
I was living with her because I got rid of
my cabin, the creepy cabin, and I said to hers, said, listen,
I'm about to open a restaurant in New York City.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I need you to calm down right. A lot of
things are gonna happen. A lot of things can start happening.
Speaker 16 (20:05):
I'm gonna start drinking a lot. I'm sorry, no, like
like the way relatively relatively like right now, I'm like Arthur.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Hearth.
Speaker 10 (20:22):
So there was one night, it was the day before
the opening of the restaurant, and it's eleven o'clock and
it started raining outside crazy and I texted her and said,
I'm not coming home because I don't want to be
on train for an hour.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's raining a lot.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
She says, if you don't come home, don't come home.
Speaker 13 (20:46):
Ever, I said, wow, it's not a good threat for
Carl because not perfect sleeping on this couch for a
month and a half.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
I'm I mean, in a three point five million dollar
bill out, they just put in the couches and their
teal and I'm kidding and I go okay.
Speaker 9 (21:07):
And that was that.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So three days later she's like, that's a rookie move. Rookie.
She was just a she just I mean, you got Carl,
car You're not gonna You're not gonna take.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
That duel bogs.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
She bill boxed it.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
It was just a messing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
And she was Munson out in the middle of and
she's like, are you seeing someone?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I'm like eleven.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
On Fifteenth Street in Manhattan, Like, what are you gonna do?
How many of these boots have you had sex in? Four?
Speaker 16 (21:41):
Including this one?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Gotta interrupt this news story.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
We got a big star on the on the on
the phone, Kristen Bell, the star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Kristen, congratulations on the new movie. Are you excited?
Speaker 14 (21:55):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Awesome, so best celebrity interview ever.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo Radio Radio, Radio boo.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
Boo boom boom boom boom boo boo boo boom boom
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Boo boo boo boom
But I'll talk to you. Something in me that day said,
but I'll talk to you.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And I picked this woman to be my therapist because
she really understands. Uh, oh, you have to check your
Instagram now. I guess like this would be an important
time to check your instagram.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm thinking.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I knew when I got my wife pregnant, Like I
was like, that's the one, and all the time you
try to do it, I was like, that's the one,
So maybe it's just like a special.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
How did you know?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
You just knew because you know, when you just regular,
when you just regularly shoot a load, it's just normal.
That one just felt like it came from my toes.
I stepped back and I was like, you got a baby,
You're a pregnant flow.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
It's like ski bowl.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
When you let that one go, you know, you even
release it. Yeah, you're like, we're going home, kiddie. Top
left corner, baby, get you a plastic spider ring five thousand,
ten thousand, seventy thousand. That even matters where top left
corner value.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I know it well. So many tickets.
Speaker 6 (00:56):
I remember one day I was walking, I was I
was in my car and you were outside with Sharad
and Vic and I was leaving because I had to
go back to work, and you're like, yo, yo, yo,
you see me in the car. You ran into the
street and you threw a ten thousand dollars check into
my fucking car, and you looked at me and you
said thank you very much that. I said, you know
(01:17):
what there, that guy did not have to do that.
You did not have to do that, but that you did.
I'll go to war for you any day, and I
appreciate that. I like that you told people that, you know,
I put the check in the bank and then Marie
probably spent it with her mom at a spot.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Christ oh lord, lety litty learning.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Yeah, dude, I mean these days, I feel like you're
probably gonna get It's better than getting mugged, you know.
Speaker 7 (01:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
I'd rather if somebody steal my identity, steal my money
electronically than just getting beaten down for it and gunned
up to the face.
Speaker 8 (01:51):
Before they pop your eyeballs and that's about it.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Go home with a black eye and no credit cards.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Identity. That's way like this new way they're doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Way better to be mugged and fucking identity.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
You don't cry or sleep before you go to bed
thinking about the incident.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
When you got your identity robs and then you look cool.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
You have a black guye for a few days, calling
your bank and getting everything back together.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
That's true. Maybe the old fashioned way is better.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
Like a man, I'm theft is brutal, I'm mugging is
not so much.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You see that? You like that?
Speaker 9 (02:25):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
The girls with the muscles, No, son't you, son of
a bitch. We're gonna fight. We're gonna fight today.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I don't know, man, I feel like, uh, by this point,
it's got to be pretty full hell, you think, yeah, But.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
I mean, so it's heaven.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, man, there's way more people in hell than happen.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Yea, there's probably like eighty people in heaven.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 5 (02:48):
There's we got a lot of room in heaven, but
we're all going to hell.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
You go.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I'm good. I'm willing to accept my seventeen year old
son and I didn't know about.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
That's a good.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm willing to give shit away for free if it
helps people. I think I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Well, I mean from what I've noticed that the generation
under us, the chicks are dudes and the dudes are chicks.
Speaker 10 (03:10):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
You know, like all the dudes, like the young dudes
that I hang out with, they're like sensitive, they're sensitive
and and they're hunted. Do girls go after them like
nobody went after me?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Ohpi, I had to like literally chase girls down.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
For months and go to buy them shit and do
like I had no I had no easy road for
courtship like the generation that I grew up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Now, these dudes are like yeah, yeah, just hanging out
playing video games with my friends. Some girls shows up
takes her top off, like it's just a whole other world.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
The girls are super aggressive.
Speaker 11 (03:45):
Now I've said this on my podcast this week. There
were people like people with trump pins of every race,
of every sex like there. I was really surprised, Like
there was Latinos, black dudes, older man, white, like.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
You never even smile at girls, like, well we go out,
you just you like fucking rain man.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You don't say that, but the girls gravitate towards that.
Speaker 12 (04:11):
Meanwhile, I'm like, helloi ha ha ha hala hala hala
hala hala hala hala haa.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Hello, hello, I'm right here. You got flags like you're
trying to land a plane and they still don't see you.
Speaker 12 (04:22):
I'm doing card tricks and shit, I'm blown up balloon
animals and stuff.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
You're doing everything the Golden Knights are doing before they
start their hockey games, and the women still don't see you.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I have the Golden Knights opening ceremony. Every time I
go into a bar, they still can't see you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Was really good.
Speaker 13 (04:46):
I know it was.
Speaker 9 (04:46):
I'm a funny fucking guy, and it's about time people
realize that, fuck you Trump.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I just love the fact that Trump was a non
politician and he was a guy that they gave him
a million dollars and turned into ten billion dollars.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
What did he say that you didn't like that?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I didn't like how he was.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I didn't like his whole like.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
I went to one of his rallies in Tampa and
he came out, and he came out with that face,
and he went over and he hugged the flag, and
I thought, I don't knowough of that bullshit.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
She Asian too, that's not Asian.
Speaker 12 (05:16):
I'm squinting because the sun.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
She's squinting because the sun. And then and now you
think that she's Asian Oh, there's a girl you like
with the muscles, watch top of the pikes.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Remember, also, adult asthma is some bullshit, right, shut that down.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
I'll deport those people. You can't fit. You're fifty and
you can't breathe to hit on the heaven.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
What about a peanut allergy?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
People, I just can't deal with lot.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I got some weird fucking ailments, but no peanut allergy here. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Man, I'm old enough to remember that there was no
peanut allergy, so I don't know what the fuck they
did differently that. Now you can't bring a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich to school because one kid might die.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yeah, oh, well that to go.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Oh speaking of Asians, you want to hear something.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, the other day in my building, right, I get
in an elevator, Three Asians get in the elevator with me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, they got off on two different floors. Mind blown.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
I just want to point out with it, just like
my family and everybody else, you motherfucker's blow off my molestation.
You did not care.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I care, nobody cares, dude. I'm the radio guy in
the room. I'm waiting for five o'clock.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Everyone's in their cars.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm not stupid.
Speaker 10 (06:38):
I know you.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I know you bro sitting there going when are you
gonna get to that story? I'm just saying, did you
get a lot of people that are like you're the man?
That's great? I would have killed for that. You say
people weren't sensitive.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You're you're rushing it now. Now we're waiting at five o'clock.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
No, my mind was blown. No, no, laugh all you want,
but my mind was blown. Three Asian people got on
the elevator with me, and stupid me.
Speaker 9 (07:04):
Is assuming they're all gonna get off on one floor
because they're all related and possibly, you know, all one family.
They got off on two different floors without talking to
each other, and my mind couldn't process it.
Speaker 12 (07:17):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13 (07:18):
Not kidding?
Speaker 12 (07:20):
You need to go to a mind hospital.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
You see children making out a lot, I'll see little children.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
I pulled over those, some children making out by the
street side a couple of years ago, by middle school,
and I pulled over them, two young fellas and they
couldn't have been but ten eleven years old, and I
told them shut it down, guys, you know you to
shut it down. Yeah, they come back in a year
or two you know, meet up here in a couple
of years and see what's going on.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
You know, But at this age, it just seemed like there's.
Speaker 8 (07:44):
No they're growing up a lot faster these days. Yeah,
maybe that's true. Trying to avoid that pen analogy.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
These dudes were going after it.
Speaker 9 (07:54):
What's that?
Speaker 12 (07:55):
She must have heard me talking.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh, you're my mom. Let's put her on.
Speaker 12 (08:00):
I'll just call and tall I'll call later.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
But you got to hear her voice. Be great?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Can you put her voice on the podcast?
Speaker 12 (08:05):
She doesn't speak English.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Wait, you're gonna speak another language?
Speaker 9 (08:10):
Bro?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
What is the star Trek? Yeah?
Speaker 12 (08:14):
Hello, mommy? You super BC.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Let me.
Speaker 13 (08:25):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Wow, that's impressive. What like do you dream in that language?
Speaker 12 (08:33):
That's the language A love homeboy?
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I tried it for six years.
Speaker 14 (08:38):
I sucked.
Speaker 12 (08:39):
I can go into a restaurant and get all the
Latin people that work there all together in one room,
like Aquaman with fish.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I've seen children making it out. I seen him in bed,
you know, walk in and the two kids in bed,
and you're like, all right, guys, let's shut it down.
Speaker 9 (08:53):
You know.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Usually I would say something like.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
That, shut it down. Police. So you're coming upon a
lot of.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Fucking where are these kids making out the nephews and
stuff like that.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
You'll come upon him.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
And shut it down off. Shut it down. Guy.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
You know you went comparing Roll into a Navy seal.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You can compare him to a regular seal, right there.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
My buddy's dad told us poll the poll or hold
a hole. That's what he said one time. First time
I stayed at my buddy's house. The dad came back in,
who were sharing a queen bed, me and my best
friend eleven. Dad said good night, came back in about
five seconds. Lady goes, now you fell us in sleep
pole the poll or hold a hole? But no sleeping
pole a hole.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
We couldn't even figure it out.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Always it head to foot and I'm like this motherfucker dogs.
Speaker 15 (09:48):
It was always had a foot. And why would he
give you the poll to poll option? Because that is
a docking. Docking years old, I understand hole. The whole
we literally could down. We laid like seven floor.
Speaker 12 (10:12):
You're making me walk through garbage. I'm about to throw
you in the back of garbage. The look at this
guy with the mom jeans.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
He works out.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
That's why I pushed it toward the garbage. He was
very uptight because he was behind us with his little
little shopping back. I want to throw him into traffic.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Maybe I find a woman of tender or something. You guys,
tender or not. I'm kind of hard you call it
tender tender?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:37):
The date app you're looking for your Tinderella where you
meet somebody for sex of friendship you're talking about.
Speaker 11 (10:42):
I know what it is I wish to do, trying
to be good with all that I'm trying to But
now pull it up there, let me do some hearts
on it.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I don't have I don't have any apps on right now.
Oh no, I have them all, but I don't have
any active. He's not masturbating, and he's not like I'm
just dealing with It's a holiday.
Speaker 11 (10:58):
Profile says a parade route Tinder.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, what is like? What's your bio on this? This
profile says no pull to pull.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
No, we could go hold a hole. I'm just gonna
stay often, I guess, but I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Howard Stern is such a god. What word do I
want to use here?
Speaker 12 (11:20):
He's got a lot more running Big fan Howard, big fan,
Robin and the limo driver guy and Baba booi.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Oh, Carl just jumped into an uber. That's weird. I
hate stupid. Why why would you not take full advantage
of that?
Speaker 4 (11:37):
Because I'm trying to. I'm trying to.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
What's the goal?
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Just keep my act because I feel like I'm having
trouble getting into a relationship because I'm just always just skey.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Just put a thing on ten and says looking for
anice lady to watch a parade with boom love right there.
The girls would fall in love with that ship. You think,
oh yeah, especially when you're good looking. Yeah, dude, I
used to fucking have to get chicks from AOL chat room.
I never had any.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You don't know what. They show up and you look
at the people and you're like, well, she came here
and let her in.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Yeah. I got met a girl at a gas station
one time. I took a month to get there, and
I was like, she did. She took a bus like
four hours and I.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Did not like her when I met her.
Speaker 13 (12:21):
So what you do?
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Brought her back to the house.
Speaker 9 (12:23):
I had to.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I had to.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
My folks are like, what's going on here? And I
was like, oh, just a friend visiting and I couldn't
remember name.
Speaker 16 (12:32):
I mean out with a girl that folls me on Twitter.
Speaker 13 (12:34):
That's congratulations. That's never happened to me.
Speaker 10 (12:37):
What she look like.
Speaker 16 (12:39):
Not like your profile.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Too, Man, Alzheimer's a big thing.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Man.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
We got to shut it down. You know, Hell, you
never know you got shipped for brains. You gotta replace
that ship for break.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
I'll let somebody say it turn into my ear if it.
Eli called that the afternoon, it was tender. I am
so lovely.
Speaker 13 (13:07):
Were lock Houbana Carl's new restaurant where Carl has been
since I saw him.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Twelve hours ago.
Speaker 16 (13:15):
The same stories with this guy.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I came in for a rare day in New York
City because in the summer I just chill out of
the beach. That came to lack Ubana, just like you
said when I found him passed out and boots boots
seventy eight. Yeah, so I was in seventy eight seventy eight,
passed down and they were checking his pulse.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
I'm like, oh, that's good.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
A podcast. That's how I found him today.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Brought it.
Speaker 13 (13:41):
I don't remember his name, but dude over there in
the white shirt, I was like, Hey, I'm mad, is
is Carl around He's like, I'll look for him. I
was like, Oh, if he's busy, don't worry about all
the other he goes. We have different definitions of busys
and heads.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Carsleep, couch. He's like, hey, buddy, hey, buddy, your friend
that's here that we both love this guy. You have
the issues not hit jump rop. Jump rope is a
really solid tool. I think that more people should invest
in the jump rope and a lot of if you
don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
How to do it, it looks gay as fuck.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Yeah, jump rope.
Speaker 16 (14:22):
When I was a little kid, there was a place.
There was a place called Dollar Video and it was
like that. It was a video store and they had
a little it was a current. So I decided that
I was going to go and check out the touction.
And I was a kid, and I see all the
(14:44):
covers of all the videos. I gave myself a sidewinder. Right,
so I'm giving myself a sidewinder.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I have never heard that term before, but I immediately
know what you're exactly.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
If you're a guy, you know what a sidewinder?
Speaker 16 (14:57):
Wait as you as you stay at I'm I'm sitting,
I'm standing inside this little curtained area of the video store.
I'm cubid, I'm ready to go right, ready to make
nineteen kids right, and.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I give myself.
Speaker 16 (15:13):
I'm starting to give myself a sideline.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
And I thought it was all cool.
Speaker 16 (15:15):
Then I got out. I got the Transformer and then
I came out and I go pick up the Transformers
movie box, which is what I wanted. Like back, there's
a cartoon Platformers movie. And I come up to the
counter and there's a girl, she's like nineteen years old.
As I'm handing here the video that I want to rent,
she looks at me and I look up and there's
(15:38):
a short circuit TV that had a camera you wear
the wear them was she watched me sidewine and I
give her this and she goes, you're fucking discussed.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yep, Yes, what about a dog? Do you let the
dog in the bed?
Speaker 11 (16:00):
I won't give the book because the dog, the dog
is terrible blocking you in the bed in the middle.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Don't ever let the dog sleep in the bad Yeah.
Actually had a bed with a woman in a huge
verman named Kobe.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Actually this is probably about nine years ago over there
in Philadelphia, a net I.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Think was her name, on Neettes.
Speaker 17 (16:20):
If you remember the dog's name and you had to
think of her name. Yeah, you had no doubt about
the dogs dog? Was that dog gave you some I
remember that dog shut her down.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
The dog is huge dog.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Why was it named Kobe?
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I don't know, and I didn't ask.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Man.
Speaker 13 (16:37):
The girl was so ugly, she's known as a two bag.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
That's a girl so ugly.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
You've not only got to put a bag over her head,
you got to put a bag over your own head
in case her bag rips.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Can you tell the tyrhea joke which I don't want
to give away, the funch line.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
The uncles, the doctors, doc, I got diarrhea?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Can I take a bath if you got enough?
Speaker 9 (17:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 16 (17:04):
You guys are rookies.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You have an underwear that is seen better days.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You don't throw them in the garbage.
Speaker 16 (17:13):
You put it in the drop ceiling.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
I'm only renting.
Speaker 8 (17:20):
Sl star Pete Davidson says fuck you to Donald Trump
over criticism.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
He said, you bitch something like that, right, yeah, fuck
you bitch, Fuck you bitch. He swears it. He swears
that Donald Trump can't read. That's us. Swears story on
the show Donald Trump.
Speaker 14 (17:37):
He doesn't really know how to read. There was a
sketch that we wrote where he's at Disneyland with his
daughter and the line is, uh, all right, let's get
out of here Turkey legs, Like, let's go get turkey legs.
And he doesn't know how to read, so he went,
all right, let's get out of here turkey legs.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
He called his daughter turkey legs.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Even de Niro can't read a cute card. I know
de Niro could read.
Speaker 8 (18:03):
I just thought it's hilarious that Pete Davidson's claiming that
Donald Trump can't read.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Hilarious.
Speaker 18 (18:08):
So I had an appointment to donate blood don't do
it yesterday at five pm, and they turned me away.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
First time they have turned But you're the healthiest.
Speaker 10 (18:21):
Guy in the world.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
You tell us every week.
Speaker 18 (18:24):
I tried to save lives yesterday.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Did by not giving blood. He saved many New Yorkers lives.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Yes, trust me, this guy's a mess.
Speaker 13 (18:34):
Did gratitude.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
He's a fucking mess.
Speaker 16 (18:36):
And had the best wedding I've ever been to, where
during the during the ceremony there was buckets of coronas
on each file.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
There's actually family traditions corona's.
Speaker 16 (18:47):
While they got married, I would have to have to
take your word for it, because, if I remember correctly,
the last time we podcasted, someone was hinting at bringing
me as his guest.
Speaker 13 (18:56):
I finally enjoyed Matt Farro. I would have been happy
to have you, but I thought it was weird to
invite you because we met weird. But I was gonna
go with his guest out, if you remember. But then
he forgot. I took, I took some girl.
Speaker 16 (19:09):
And and we it worked out. Oh my god, what
a breakup.
Speaker 13 (19:15):
So my now sister in law was like, man, that
guy Carl was really funny, but that girl he was
with not look happy.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Now. That was the beginning of the That was the
beginning of the breakup.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yeah, I'm healthy and awake and drinking coffee.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
No more, no more pot, no more pot, no more.
Speaker 12 (19:34):
Shrooms, no more drinking, and no more SIGs, everything and everything.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It sucks.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Opy.
Speaker 16 (19:44):
So so she was a young girl, and God bless her.
She doesn't understand strategy.
Speaker 18 (19:51):
I was.
Speaker 16 (19:51):
I was living with her because I got rid of
my cabin, the creepy cabin, and I said to hers, said, listen,
I'm about to open a restaurant in New York City.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
I need you to calm down right. A lot of
things are gonna happen. A lot of things can start happening.
Speaker 16 (20:05):
I'm gonna start drinking a lot. I'm sorry, no, like
like the way relatively relatively like right now, I'm like Arthur.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Hearth.
Speaker 10 (20:22):
So there was one night, it was the day before
the opening of the restaurant, and it's eleven o'clock and
it started raining outside crazy and I texted her and said,
I'm not coming home because I don't want to be
on train for an hour.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
It's raining a lot.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
She says, if you don't come home, don't come home.
Speaker 13 (20:46):
Ever, I said, wow, it's not a good threat for
Carl because not perfect sleeping on this couch for a
month and a half.
Speaker 7 (20:54):
I'm I mean, in a three point five million dollar
bill out, they just put in the couches and their
teal and I'm kidding and I go okay.
Speaker 9 (21:07):
And that was that.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
So three days later she's like, that's a rookie move. Rookie.
She was just a she just I mean, you got Carl,
car You're not gonna You're not gonna take.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
That duel bogs.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
She bill boxed it.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
It was just a messing.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
And she was Munson out in the middle of and
she's like, are you seeing someone?
Speaker 4 (21:28):
I'm like eleven.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
On Fifteenth Street in Manhattan, Like, what are you gonna do?
How many of these boots have you had sex in? Four?
Speaker 16 (21:41):
Including this one?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Gotta interrupt this news story.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
We got a big star on the on the on
the phone, Kristen Bell, the star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Kristen, congratulations on the new movie. Are you excited?
Speaker 14 (21:55):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Awesome, so best celebrity interview ever.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo Radio Radio, Radio boo.
Speaker 11 (22:25):
Boo boom boom boom boom boo boo boo boom boom
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Boo boo boo boom
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