January 27, 2024 • 26 mins
Our Miss Brooks was a beloved American sitcom that ran on CBS radio from 1948 to 1957. It was one of the most popular radio shows of its time, and it was later adapted into a successful television series that ran from 1952 to 1956.
The show starred the iconic Eve Arden as Connie Brooks, a wisecracking and sarcastic English teacher at Madison High School. Arden's portrayal of Miss Brooks was both hilarious and endearing, and she won over audiences with her quick wit and sharp one-liners
The supporting cast of Our Miss Brooks was equally memorable. Gale Gordon played the uptight and pompous Principal Osgood Conklin, Richard Crenna played the dimwitted but lovable student Walter Denton, and Jane Morgan played Miss Brooks' scatterbrained landlady, Mrs. Davis.
The show's storylines were typically lighthearted and comedic, focusing on the everyday trials and tribulations of Miss Brooks and her students. Miss Brooks would often find herself in comical situations, such as dealing with mischievous students, trying to impress her love interest, or getting into trouble with her boss.
Our Miss Brooks was a groundbreaking show in many ways. It was one of the first sitcoms to feature a strong female lead character, and it helped to pave the way for other shows with similar formats. The show was also praised for its sharp writing and its talented cast
.Even though it went off the air over 60 years ago, Our Miss Brooks remains a classic radio sitcom. The show is still fondly remembered by fans, and it continues to be enjoyed by new generations of listeners.
Here are some additional facts about Our Miss Brooks:
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Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
The show starred the iconic Eve Arden as Connie Brooks, a wisecracking and sarcastic English teacher at Madison High School. Arden's portrayal of Miss Brooks was both hilarious and endearing, and she won over audiences with her quick wit and sharp one-liners
The supporting cast of Our Miss Brooks was equally memorable. Gale Gordon played the uptight and pompous Principal Osgood Conklin, Richard Crenna played the dimwitted but lovable student Walter Denton, and Jane Morgan played Miss Brooks' scatterbrained landlady, Mrs. Davis.
The show's storylines were typically lighthearted and comedic, focusing on the everyday trials and tribulations of Miss Brooks and her students. Miss Brooks would often find herself in comical situations, such as dealing with mischievous students, trying to impress her love interest, or getting into trouble with her boss.
Our Miss Brooks was a groundbreaking show in many ways. It was one of the first sitcoms to feature a strong female lead character, and it helped to pave the way for other shows with similar formats. The show was also praised for its sharp writing and its talented cast
.Even though it went off the air over 60 years ago, Our Miss Brooks remains a classic radio sitcom. The show is still fondly remembered by fans, and it continues to be enjoyed by new generations of listeners.
Here are some additional facts about Our Miss Brooks:
- The show was created by Al Lewis, who also wrote most of the episodes.
- Our Miss Brooks won numerous awards during its run, including four Peabody Awards.
- The show was adapted into a movie in 1956.
- In 2016, Our Miss Brooks was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame.
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Oh. Miss Brooks, who teachesEnglish at Madison High School, enjoyed her
vacation during the holiday is just asmuch as any other teacher, but as
it drew to a close, shehad a peculiar reaction. Although I felt
that my vacation had done me alot of good, now that it was
over, I was keed up andenthusiastic, simply raring to go, raring
to go on another two weeks vacation. Meanwhile, I went about the business
(00:27):
of getting used to working again,and spent the past week noticing conditions which
hadn't seemed so deplorable during the hustleand bustle of holiday time at the school.
I was telling my landlady, MissusDavis, about them while we were
having breakfast Friday morning. Let mepull you a cup of this coffee,
Connie. It's real DJ gen Nirostyle. I just got the recipe,
real Degennio style. Yes, Imashed up a few brazil nuts and mixed
(00:53):
them with the coffee ground. That'sone reason why the blonde hair of a
brazil is so outstanding, Missus Davis. Very few Brazilians have blonde hair.
That's another reason it's so outstanding.But I'm afraid I've interrupted something you started
to say to me. Connie.Oh, it wasn't very important. I
had just said, I really shouldn'tdo that. It's a habit I've picked
(01:17):
up from my brother Victor. He'sterribly absent minded. I thought your sister
Angela was the absent minded one inthe family. Angela, Yes, that's
what you told me. What didI tell you that she was very absent
minded? Who your brother Victor?Now? How did you know that?
(01:38):
You never even met Victor? Buthe is confused sometimes, poor dear.
Why you could be talking about somethingto Victor and he'd seem as interested as
could be in the conversation. Butthen if you just looked away for a
moment, it could be right inthe middle of a sentence that yes,
missus David, missus Davis. Youooo, miss David. Open morning,
(02:02):
Connie. I was just looking forthe cat out in the kitchen. She
hadn't touched her milk. What doyou hear from Victor pictures? Oh?
My brother, Oh he's fine,thank you, dear. He called me
quite regularly. My sister Angela isthe one that worries me. She's the
(02:23):
absent minded member of the family.But I keep feeling that I disrupted your
train of thought, did I,Connie? There's not a car left on
the tracks but the kaboos. Iwas merely telling you, Missus Davis,
that I never realized how bad conditionswere at school until this Cole's fell set
in. My classroom is so draftedthat half my pupils can't answer questions because
(02:44):
their teeth are chattering. That mustbe awful young people have such loud teeth.
Yeah, sometimes my room sounds likea dice game on a tin roof.
Have you talked to the principle aboutit? Not yet that I'm going
to today. He's just got toget the Board of Education to allow us
a bigger budget for coal. Well, I wish you luck, Dear.
(03:07):
Is the Walter Dinton picking you upthis morning? Yes, good Tonnie.
I'd like to apologize again for interruptingyou before, As I say, I've
been a little worried about my eccentricbrother Victim before you go, though,
Yes, goodbye, Connie, goodbye, Missus Davis. By the way,
Missus Davis, Minnie, Miss Connie, why she's gone, poor thing?
(03:37):
She's been under a terrible strain lately. I'm glad you picked me up early,
Walter. I've got to stop inand see mister Conklin before my first
class. Oh golly, miss Brooks, there must be some pleasanter way to
start off a Friday morning for aperfectly nice English teacher. Yes, that
(03:59):
must be. Oh it isn't it. I don't respect mister Conklin. It's
just that. Oh, there's somethingabout you, miss Brooks. It well,
before the hallowed walls of our belovedMadison high heaves into view. I
want you to know that. Wouldyou mind taking that sentence again a little
slower? I nearly exclaimed, beforethe hallowed walls if our beloved Madison high
(04:21):
heaves into view. That's what Ithought you explained, anything wrong, miss
Brooks. Well, frankly, Walder, i'd hesitate to correct that sentence without
stopping a teacher's college for a refreshercourse. But what do you mean by
heaves interview? Well? Every sooften you read about a ship that hove
interviewed, don't you. Yes,Well, hove must be the past tense,
(04:44):
mustn't it heave paved hove, isn'tit? Oh? Of course not,
Walter heave, heave, paved,he paved. What do you want
me to know before Madison high heavedin the views that you command as much
respect as mister Conklin, plus theadmiration of the entire student body, and
(05:10):
that your personal warmth and charm isonly exceeded by your excellence in your chosen
field of instruction. Ain't it thetruth? I don't want to seem unduly
inquisitive, Walter, but to whatdo I owe this verbal plaque? Nothing?
It's just a natural reaction, thecompletely spontaneous and unrehearsed And what did
you get from our sponsor when youwere selected as a contestant? A pen
(05:31):
and pencil set that's guaranteed. Yeah, and it's not. Now I'm being
completely sincere and have no ulterior motivewhatsoever. Then, thank you, Walter.
No, that's okay, miss Brooks. Yes, would you do me
a favor if I say no,you'll take back the plaque? Well?
What is it? Well, it'sa basketball team. Because you know I'm
(05:54):
the new manager. So it's it'sup to me to see mister Conklin about
getting some things that we need immediately, and it's so to you to see
mister Conklin for me, because I'mrarely up to seeing mister Conklin. What
I mean is that we just gotto get some more trunks. Where are
you going going? No, weneed stuff for the guys to put on
(06:15):
while they're playing. You see rightnow, every time we send in a
substitute, he has to take ablanket along with him and change trunks with
a fellow he's replaced. How aboutten pairs should do fine? Ten pairs?
Why don't you just get a largerblanket? Well, no, this
is serious, miss Brooks. Anotherthing you've got to talk to mister Conklin
(06:36):
about for me is the temperature inthe gym. It's so cold, and
they're a good humor man has toreferee the game. Of course I'm exaggerating,
Miss Brooks. I know, Walter, But A, just what do
you want me to ask mister Conklin? And B why should it be me
instead of you? Well, Ato requisition one hundred dollars worth of equipment
(06:56):
for the basketball team from the schoolboard. And B because you're and carry
more weight. And see, ifwe were driving in my car, you'd
be walking by now. Now youdon't understand, miss Brooks. I'm not
trying to shirk my duties, butwell, this is a legitimate fief.
Let me put it this way.In the stockyards, when they want the
(07:17):
sheep to run a certain way,they don't send a little LaMotte to guide
them. They send an old goat. I mean, you've seen it in
the newsfield. I'm sure where theythe goat and the gosh. I hope
you're not mad, miss Brooks.Forget it, Walder, Why should I
(07:40):
be mad? Then you'll do it, you ask mister Conklin for me.
I'll do my best. Now you'dbetter start putting on your brakes, my
brakes. Yes, the hallowed wallsare hiving into views. Ladies, regardless
(08:01):
of age, skin type, orprevious beauty care doctors prove, you too,
may win a lovelier complexion with Pomalidsoap. But to win this lovelier
complexion, the kind men admire andwomen envy, you must stop improper cleansing.
Instead use palm Olive's soap the waydoctors advise. Remember thirty six doctors
leading skin specialists advised one two hundredeighty five women, many with complexion problems,
(08:26):
to use Palmali this way. Somehave dry skin, some oily,
some course looking. Using Palmali soapalone two out of three to one lovelier
complexion. Now here's what the doctor'sadvised. Wash your faith with palmolid soap
massaging for one minute with Palmalive's softlather. This clensing massage brings your skin
Palmolive's full you to fine effect.Rin Do this three times a day for
(08:52):
fourteen days. It's that simple.But doctors have proved this way using nothing
but pomalive really works. So forgetother beauty care. Use paw Mally's alone
for a lovelier complexion. Pow lovelinessall over. Use big, thrifty bat
size pau Molly in your tub orshower. Well, here we are at
(09:15):
school, miss Brooks. If youwill kindly disembark, I'll find a place
to park and then return for ajoust with the forces of education. If
I was a gambler, Walter,I'd bet on you the place. Oh
there's Harriet Conklin. I think I'llask her what kind of a mood her
father's in. Ohkaymis Brooks, I'llsee you later. Just a minute,
Harriet, I'd like to talk toyou. Oh hello, miss Brooks.
(09:37):
I'm glad we ran into each other. Same here, Harriet. Did you
have breakfast with your father this morning? Yes? I did. How was
he his temper? I mean prettygood, Miss Brooks, until mother showed
him some of the bills that hadcome in. Then what did you do?
Nothing unusual. He just slammed downits paper, bit through his coffee
cup and left. Sure he couldhave bitten your mother. That's one of
(10:01):
the reasons I'm glad we ran intoeach other, Miss Brooks. Did I
ever tell you what an unending sourceof inspiration you are? Oh? I
must end somewhere. I mean it, Miss Brooks, You're more than just
an excellent instructor of English. You'reI'm the Patsy who's going to face your
father with one of your problems.All listen, psychic too. How did
(10:24):
you know I wanted to trap thedaddy for me? Miss Brooks? Well,
why should you be an exception?Harriet? What's your bet? Complaints
the domestic Science room. It's likea deep freeze that room too. It's
so cold that most of us weargloves all during the class. Makes it
very awkward, Miss Brooks, especiallywhen we're trying to use a sewing machine.
(10:45):
It sounds pretty bad bad. It'sterrible. Yesterday Bessy Snyder sold five
of her fingers together. I don'tknow what's so terrible about that gives you
an extra ladle for the cooking class. It brought the sewing machine. We
need two hundred dollars for a newone. Oh but Harriet, Miss Brooks,
it's up to you to make conditionsin the school livable for you.
(11:05):
You mean, I'd better be armedwith plenty of facts before I face your
father, though. I think I'llmake a survey of the rest of the
rooms, starting with mister Boynt's biologylaboratory. Now, who's psychic? Yes,
Harriet, I think I'll interview theshy master of the microbes. I've
been in there, Miss Brooks.It's even colder than the other rooms.
(11:26):
I hope you can do something aboutit. I should be able to with
the experience I've had. But whatdo you mean, Miss Brooks. I've
been trying to fall mister Boynton outfor years. Come in, hello,
mister Boynton. Oh it's you,Miss Brooks. How do you feel this
(11:46):
morning? Cold? Thanks? Especiallyin here? Where do you hang your
sides of beef? Mister Barnton thatI was going to ask mister Cochland about
the heating situation. But now thatyou're here, I wondered if you would
naturally you better slipped this coat on, even your voice of chivery. Now
(12:11):
this outset I'm wearing is fairly warm. I've got four sweaters on. You
now, really aware, Let's notget racy, mister Barney. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean anything personal. Younever do. The situation is pretty
bad, and I'll take my prizefraud. Madougal, for instance, he's
had a sore throat for weeks,and now with this cold spell, I'm
(12:33):
afraid he's developing sinus trouble. Here'shis cage right here. Oh, man,
how do you feel he's insight?Have a Kleenex. Man, You're
welcome. It's no wonder he sick. Look at the tank. He's in
no provisions for heating the water atall. Or this morning his breakfast was
(12:54):
frozen two inches from his nose.By the time he did eat, he
had indigestion. That's really awful,mister Boyden. This equipment is pretty obsolete.
What's this bowl here? Oh?These must be some new fish.
What's the name of these pretty blueones, mister Boyton, goldfish, they're
just cold. They could slap theirtins together. Oh. Look at these
(13:20):
cute little guinea pigs. Now they'rewhat I call sensible animals. Look how
they huddle together for warmth in theircage. You know, mister Boyton,
you and I could keep kind ofwarm that way too. Oh no,
we couldn't, Miss Brooks. Wecould never fit into a cage that size.
(13:41):
Oh no, but it would befun trying to look, mister Boynton,
about what you estimate it would costfor new equipment for this lab.
Oh, couple of one hundred dollars, roughly one fifty if you smooth it
out. That's the sort of ajoke, Miss Brooks. First I said,
plea and then one fifty if yousmooth it out. Oh that's Lulu.
(14:07):
I know another one, but Iwish you'd stop me. If you've
heard it, it's about this groupof people. I've heard it. We
have the one about the group ofpeople who are all discussing something in a
very animated manner, and suddenly theystop, and this one fella says,
is anybody eating a lifesaver? Andsomebody else says, why in the first
chap says, because there's a holein the conversation. Is that the one
(14:31):
you've heard? No, I hearda different one. Tell yours. It's
about it. I just did tellit, Miss Brooks. Oh so you
did, mister Boynton, and alittle beauty. It was too. But
I better get ready for my firstclass now I'll seem it's a confliment at
the beginning of lunch period. Well, it's awfully nice of you to do
(14:52):
this, Miss Brooks. Will youhave lunch with me afterwards? Oh?
I'd love to, mister Boynton andMiss Brooks. Please don't even bring your
purse with you. It only embarrassesme when you try to pay your own
check in the cafeteria. All right, mister Boone, I'll leave my bag
in my desk. Fine, whenI see you to your room, I
can pick up what you owe me. That's a good one too. What
(15:15):
am I laughing at? He's notkidding. Let's see this list now,
where the stripping for my room fiftydollars, Basketball team equipment one hundred,
new sewing machine about two hundred andbiology lab equipment one fifty total five hundred
(15:37):
dollars. Of course, that's withoutthe additional coal we'll have to get.
Well, here goes aman. Hello, mister Conklin, I just want to
sit down a moment, Miss Brooke. I'm speaking on the phone, yes,
sir, So you see, MissStanhope, this senseless extravagance has got
to stop. Why do you realizethat your odd class used up three more
drawing pencils this month than last?What do you think the school board is
(16:00):
made of money? What? Howcan you cut down? Tell the students
not to sharpen them so often?And remember miss that Hope. It isn't
the fifty cents involved that's important.It's the money on the wall. And
let's start cutting down expenses around here. Good day. Now what do you
(16:22):
want? Happy to you, misterConklin. I mean I just happened to
be passing your office and I thoughti'd stop in and say hello, Hello.
Now's your excuse me? I wasjust going to learn. But mister
Conkline, you don't want to goup to that drafty cafeteria. What do
you mean drafty? Oh? Itis. It's almost as bad as the
schoolrooms. What and the gym andthe biology laboratory in the domestic science room
in which your own daughter, Harrietis at this very moment shivering and shaking
(16:45):
while she throws her gloved fingers togetheron the sewing machine which Bethy Snyder broke.
There, I said it, andI'm glad. If you're angling for
another vacation, miss Brooks, theanswer is enough. Now compose yourself and
talk like a rational humor. Well, it's like this, mister Conklin,
if we could get a larger appropriationfrom the school, a larger appropriation,
(17:07):
miss Brooks, let me tell youwhat I was planning when you so fortuitously
entered my office. I was planningon a general revision of expenses, an
economy wave the likes of which theschool has never seen. For example,
you will in the future direct yourpupils to use half as much chalk.
You mean, no more capital lettersexactly. And this building it's kept like
(17:32):
a hothouse. I intend to cutway down on the supply of coal.
We're wasting, wasting, But butdon't butt me, young woman. So
I can't help it. I'm thegoat that was picked for the job.
That is, it's not a questionof a lot of money, mister Conklin.
And the temperature of the school isvery important. It certainly is,
(17:52):
and I find it extremely comfortable forthe most part. But you, why
are you wearing your overcoat. It'sjust a silly quirk of mine, mister
Conklin. I'm trying to break upan ice jam and my arteries. Oh
nonsense, and take off those gloves. And I wish you'd stop smoking while
you're talking to me. I'm notsmoking, I'm just breathing. Well,
(18:15):
cut it out. That's the troublewith people nowadays. They're all mollycoddles softy.
Why when I think of our forefathersat bally Hodge dragging cannons through the
snow with their feet wrapped in rags, it's enough to make my blood boil.
It wouldn't boil in my room.Look, mister Conklin, if you
(18:36):
don't care about people, think ofthe poor little animals and mister Boynan's laboratory.
What's wrong with them? The whitemice can't run around on the treadmill
without snowshoes. But Google doesn't knowwhether to croak, sneeze, or hiccup,
so he does all three and it'spretty depressing. Well, then don't
(18:57):
listen to it. And how aboutthe basketball team. Walter Denton says that
every time one of his substitutes goesinto a game, he has to hide
behind a trunk while they're changing blankets. I just think one hundred dollars would
remedy the entire situation. One hundreddollars plus two hundred for new sewing machine,
(19:18):
fifty for weather stripping my room,and one hundred and fifty for warmer
tanks and better equipment than the biologylab. Five hundred dollars is all you
have to requisition from the board,plus some added money for coal. And
if you'll sharpen the sword, I'llfall on it. On my way out,
Miss Brooks, I'm going to tryto control myself. I'm going to
walk over to that window and lookout of it. A moment later,
(19:41):
I'm going to turn around and youwill have gone quietly out of the door.
That's better five hundred dollars indeed,plus coal. But here I am,
(20:08):
miss Brooks. The cafeteria was prettycrowded today with young Denton here invited
us to share his table. Surenow, miss Brooks, and want me
to get your trade, Thanks Walter, But I haven't time to eat right
now. I just left mister Conklin'soffice, and he's flatly refused to requisition
a penny from the school board.But the temperature my animals, McDougal's toes
are frostbitten. Now, And howabout my basketball team. We got a
(20:29):
very important home game on tomorrow night. Net Jim is just icy. Oh
we got to do something, missBrooks. We just got to get some
more coal into this building. Oh, maybe we could start an airlift.
Wait a minute. The only wayto make mister Conklin see the necessity of
improving the coal situation is to pretendwe're all coming down with coals. You
mean, going to his office,sneezing and coughing and all. Exactly.
(20:52):
He won't dare face the school boardinvestigation if he thinks an epidemic is starting.
Besides, I happen to know he'squite a hypochondriac when it comes to
contagious germs. But if we reallydon't have calls, you to be lying
to say we have, wouldn't it? It's a white lie for the common
good, mister Boyton. But youknow what happens to me when I tell
a false that I have a psychosomaticsymptom, That causes me to hiccup.
(21:14):
Well we'll have to take that chance. I think of mcdoogle, mister Boyne,
those blue goldfish swimming around depending onyou to do something. I'll do
it, Miss Brooks. I'll bedarned if I don't. Oh, I
beg your pardoner. Oh forget it, mister Boyton. In a crisis like
this, even I resort to profanity. Oh fudge, come in. Uh,
(21:45):
mister Conort, I got a badcoat? What it did? By?
Doze at dead? Mostly turn aroundBoyden? Want to know those germs
travel? How long have you hadthis code? Oh for a long time?
Something from that wretched frog of yours. I go take some aspiring go
home early, do something, butget out of this opposite one. But
(22:07):
mister cocklif by laboratory was a littlebit warb I'll talk to you after you've
recovered fired, mister cocklic. Thankyou, sir. You better open the
window and clear the air in thisroom. Ah ah, that's better come
(22:29):
in. It's be mister cocklic waterdeaded. What do you want Benden as
better d of the basketball team?I'd like to request a warble jib?
A what a warter jib to play? It. It's pleasing address. I
got a cloth you too, I'llcover your face when you sleep. We
(22:52):
gotta know reported game to play,to Bible, and we need some heap
burden. Well, if you've gotsuch a bad cold, Denton, you'd
better not come around to the gametomorrow. I'll be there and I'll appoint
another manager. But I'm not thatsick, mister Conklin. I feel great.
I need I think I know whatyou mean letting. This is all
(23:12):
a scheme to get me to askthe board for more money. And I
think I know who put you upto it. She did not come in,
miss Brooks. How did you knowit was me? Mister Coglid,
I heard you rehearsing your snee hee. You look great, Miss Brooks.
(23:33):
Never saw you looking better. Begyou, Walter. You couldn't possibly have
a cold or anything the way youlook. You know what I mean?
Keep talking, Denton, I don'tmind. Why what's the better with you,
Walter? I have a terrible cold. By chested by head. It's
from by Rube Bster Coglid have,mister Coglid, if that is the stream,
you sure do a funny imitation ofa person with a cold, Miss
(23:55):
Brooks, whether you be diputation,sure, everybody knows you're just fooling among
my own pupils. A stool pigeon. This was all a plot, Miss
Brookes, And I'm ashamed of you. Why, just because there's a little
fresh air circulating through the school,good fresh air, you throw a fit.
(24:18):
Our forefather should see you. Now, those men at the Valley Forge
dragging the cannon through the snow withrags tied around their feet, Why would
I think the door was open?So I just came on in, Daddy,
Oh, what is it, Harriet? I talked to mother on the
phone a little while ago, andher back's bothering her a bit. She
liked the heating pad. What heatingpad? The one you've got under the
cushion you're sitting on. Here's theplot back here now, if you'll just
(24:45):
get off a minute, there weare. I'll take it home to mother
right away. Where in the worlddid that thing come from? From Valley
Forge? Of course the boys musthave got some hot rags for their feet.
(25:12):
Well. Mister Conklin recommended the necessaryexpenditures to the school board and personally
ordered some coal. Immediately. Ithought it was a very sportsman like an
unselfish gesture, and I started totell him so when I met him in
the hall. Mister Conklin, Ithink it was very nice of you to
tackle this problem so promptly Brooks,but I was robbed up. I'm gott
(25:36):
to devode you. Oh what's thedifference, mister Conklin, As long as
you've got your health,
Oh. Miss Brooks, who teachesEnglish at Madison High School, enjoyed her
vacation during the holiday is just asmuch as any other teacher, but as
it drew to a close, shehad a peculiar reaction. Although I felt
that my vacation had done me alot of good, now that it was
over, I was keed up andenthusiastic, simply raring to go, raring
to go on another two weeks vacation. Meanwhile, I went about the business
(00:27):
of getting used to working again,and spent the past week noticing conditions which
hadn't seemed so deplorable during the hustleand bustle of holiday time at the school.
I was telling my landlady, MissusDavis, about them while we were
having breakfast Friday morning. Let mepull you a cup of this coffee,
Connie. It's real DJ gen Nirostyle. I just got the recipe,
real Degennio style. Yes, Imashed up a few brazil nuts and mixed
(00:53):
them with the coffee ground. That'sone reason why the blonde hair of a
brazil is so outstanding, Missus Davis. Very few Brazilians have blonde hair.
That's another reason it's so outstanding.But I'm afraid I've interrupted something you started
to say to me. Connie.Oh, it wasn't very important. I
had just said, I really shouldn'tdo that. It's a habit I've picked
(01:17):
up from my brother Victor. He'sterribly absent minded. I thought your sister
Angela was the absent minded one inthe family. Angela, Yes, that's
what you told me. What didI tell you that she was very absent
minded? Who your brother Victor?Now? How did you know that?
(01:38):
You never even met Victor? Buthe is confused sometimes, poor dear.
Why you could be talking about somethingto Victor and he'd seem as interested as
could be in the conversation. Butthen if you just looked away for a
moment, it could be right inthe middle of a sentence that yes,
missus David, missus Davis. Youooo, miss David. Open morning,
(02:02):
Connie. I was just looking forthe cat out in the kitchen. She
hadn't touched her milk. What doyou hear from Victor pictures? Oh?
My brother, Oh he's fine,thank you, dear. He called me
quite regularly. My sister Angela isthe one that worries me. She's the
(02:23):
absent minded member of the family.But I keep feeling that I disrupted your
train of thought, did I,Connie? There's not a car left on
the tracks but the kaboos. Iwas merely telling you, Missus Davis,
that I never realized how bad conditionswere at school until this Cole's fell set
in. My classroom is so draftedthat half my pupils can't answer questions because
(02:44):
their teeth are chattering. That mustbe awful young people have such loud teeth.
Yeah, sometimes my room sounds likea dice game on a tin roof.
Have you talked to the principle aboutit? Not yet that I'm going
to today. He's just got toget the Board of Education to allow us
a bigger budget for coal. Well, I wish you luck, Dear.
(03:07):
Is the Walter Dinton picking you upthis morning? Yes, good Tonnie.
I'd like to apologize again for interruptingyou before, As I say, I've
been a little worried about my eccentricbrother Victim before you go, though,
Yes, goodbye, Connie, goodbye, Missus Davis. By the way,
Missus Davis, Minnie, Miss Connie, why she's gone, poor thing?
(03:37):
She's been under a terrible strain lately. I'm glad you picked me up early,
Walter. I've got to stop inand see mister Conklin before my first
class. Oh golly, miss Brooks, there must be some pleasanter way to
start off a Friday morning for aperfectly nice English teacher. Yes, that
(03:59):
must be. Oh it isn't it. I don't respect mister Conklin. It's
just that. Oh, there's somethingabout you, miss Brooks. It well,
before the hallowed walls of our belovedMadison high heaves into view. I
want you to know that. Wouldyou mind taking that sentence again a little
slower? I nearly exclaimed, beforethe hallowed walls if our beloved Madison high
(04:21):
heaves into view. That's what Ithought you explained, anything wrong, miss
Brooks. Well, frankly, Walder, i'd hesitate to correct that sentence without
stopping a teacher's college for a refreshercourse. But what do you mean by
heaves interview? Well? Every sooften you read about a ship that hove
interviewed, don't you. Yes,Well, hove must be the past tense,
(04:44):
mustn't it heave paved hove, isn'tit? Oh? Of course not,
Walter heave, heave, paved,he paved. What do you want
me to know before Madison high heavedin the views that you command as much
respect as mister Conklin, plus theadmiration of the entire student body, and
(05:10):
that your personal warmth and charm isonly exceeded by your excellence in your chosen
field of instruction. Ain't it thetruth? I don't want to seem unduly
inquisitive, Walter, but to whatdo I owe this verbal plaque? Nothing?
It's just a natural reaction, thecompletely spontaneous and unrehearsed And what did
you get from our sponsor when youwere selected as a contestant? A pen
(05:31):
and pencil set that's guaranteed. Yeah, and it's not. Now I'm being
completely sincere and have no ulterior motivewhatsoever. Then, thank you, Walter.
No, that's okay, miss Brooks. Yes, would you do me
a favor if I say no,you'll take back the plaque? Well?
What is it? Well, it'sa basketball team. Because you know I'm
(05:54):
the new manager. So it's it'sup to me to see mister Conklin about
getting some things that we need immediately, and it's so to you to see
mister Conklin for me, because I'mrarely up to seeing mister Conklin. What
I mean is that we just gotto get some more trunks. Where are
you going going? No, weneed stuff for the guys to put on
(06:15):
while they're playing. You see rightnow, every time we send in a
substitute, he has to take ablanket along with him and change trunks with
a fellow he's replaced. How aboutten pairs should do fine? Ten pairs?
Why don't you just get a largerblanket? Well, no, this
is serious, miss Brooks. Anotherthing you've got to talk to mister Conklin
(06:36):
about for me is the temperature inthe gym. It's so cold, and
they're a good humor man has toreferee the game. Of course I'm exaggerating,
Miss Brooks. I know, Walter, But A, just what do
you want me to ask mister Conklin? And B why should it be me
instead of you? Well, Ato requisition one hundred dollars worth of equipment
(06:56):
for the basketball team from the schoolboard. And B because you're and carry
more weight. And see, ifwe were driving in my car, you'd
be walking by now. Now youdon't understand, miss Brooks. I'm not
trying to shirk my duties, butwell, this is a legitimate fief.
Let me put it this way.In the stockyards, when they want the
(07:17):
sheep to run a certain way,they don't send a little LaMotte to guide
them. They send an old goat. I mean, you've seen it in
the newsfield. I'm sure where theythe goat and the gosh. I hope
you're not mad, miss Brooks.Forget it, Walder, Why should I
(07:40):
be mad? Then you'll do it, you ask mister Conklin for me.
I'll do my best. Now you'dbetter start putting on your brakes, my
brakes. Yes, the hallowed wallsare hiving into views. Ladies, regardless
(08:01):
of age, skin type, orprevious beauty care doctors prove, you too,
may win a lovelier complexion with Pomalidsoap. But to win this lovelier
complexion, the kind men admire andwomen envy, you must stop improper cleansing.
Instead use palm Olive's soap the waydoctors advise. Remember thirty six doctors
leading skin specialists advised one two hundredeighty five women, many with complexion problems,
(08:26):
to use Palmali this way. Somehave dry skin, some oily,
some course looking. Using Palmali soapalone two out of three to one lovelier
complexion. Now here's what the doctor'sadvised. Wash your faith with palmolid soap
massaging for one minute with Palmalive's softlather. This clensing massage brings your skin
Palmolive's full you to fine effect.Rin Do this three times a day for
(08:52):
fourteen days. It's that simple.But doctors have proved this way using nothing
but pomalive really works. So forgetother beauty care. Use paw Mally's alone
for a lovelier complexion. Pow lovelinessall over. Use big, thrifty bat
size pau Molly in your tub orshower. Well, here we are at
(09:15):
school, miss Brooks. If youwill kindly disembark, I'll find a place
to park and then return for ajoust with the forces of education. If
I was a gambler, Walter,I'd bet on you the place. Oh
there's Harriet Conklin. I think I'llask her what kind of a mood her
father's in. Ohkaymis Brooks, I'llsee you later. Just a minute,
Harriet, I'd like to talk toyou. Oh hello, miss Brooks.
(09:37):
I'm glad we ran into each other. Same here, Harriet. Did you
have breakfast with your father this morning? Yes? I did. How was
he his temper? I mean prettygood, Miss Brooks, until mother showed
him some of the bills that hadcome in. Then what did you do?
Nothing unusual. He just slammed downits paper, bit through his coffee
cup and left. Sure he couldhave bitten your mother. That's one of
(10:01):
the reasons I'm glad we ran intoeach other, Miss Brooks. Did I
ever tell you what an unending sourceof inspiration you are? Oh? I
must end somewhere. I mean it, Miss Brooks, You're more than just
an excellent instructor of English. You'reI'm the Patsy who's going to face your
father with one of your problems.All listen, psychic too. How did
(10:24):
you know I wanted to trap thedaddy for me? Miss Brooks? Well,
why should you be an exception?Harriet? What's your bet? Complaints
the domestic Science room. It's likea deep freeze that room too. It's
so cold that most of us weargloves all during the class. Makes it
very awkward, Miss Brooks, especiallywhen we're trying to use a sewing machine.
(10:45):
It sounds pretty bad bad. It'sterrible. Yesterday Bessy Snyder sold five
of her fingers together. I don'tknow what's so terrible about that gives you
an extra ladle for the cooking class. It brought the sewing machine. We
need two hundred dollars for a newone. Oh but Harriet, Miss Brooks,
it's up to you to make conditionsin the school livable for you.
(11:05):
You mean, I'd better be armedwith plenty of facts before I face your
father, though. I think I'llmake a survey of the rest of the
rooms, starting with mister Boynt's biologylaboratory. Now, who's psychic? Yes,
Harriet, I think I'll interview theshy master of the microbes. I've
been in there, Miss Brooks.It's even colder than the other rooms.
(11:26):
I hope you can do something aboutit. I should be able to with
the experience I've had. But whatdo you mean, Miss Brooks. I've
been trying to fall mister Boynton outfor years. Come in, hello,
mister Boynton. Oh it's you,Miss Brooks. How do you feel this
(11:46):
morning? Cold? Thanks? Especiallyin here? Where do you hang your
sides of beef? Mister Barnton thatI was going to ask mister Cochland about
the heating situation. But now thatyou're here, I wondered if you would
naturally you better slipped this coat on, even your voice of chivery. Now
(12:11):
this outset I'm wearing is fairly warm. I've got four sweaters on. You
now, really aware, Let's notget racy, mister Barney. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean anything personal. Younever do. The situation is pretty
bad, and I'll take my prizefraud. Madougal, for instance, he's
had a sore throat for weeks,and now with this cold spell, I'm
(12:33):
afraid he's developing sinus trouble. Here'shis cage right here. Oh, man,
how do you feel he's insight?Have a Kleenex. Man, You're
welcome. It's no wonder he sick. Look at the tank. He's in
no provisions for heating the water atall. Or this morning his breakfast was
(12:54):
frozen two inches from his nose.By the time he did eat, he
had indigestion. That's really awful,mister Boyden. This equipment is pretty obsolete.
What's this bowl here? Oh?These must be some new fish.
What's the name of these pretty blueones, mister Boyton, goldfish, they're
just cold. They could slap theirtins together. Oh. Look at these
(13:20):
cute little guinea pigs. Now they'rewhat I call sensible animals. Look how
they huddle together for warmth in theircage. You know, mister Boyton,
you and I could keep kind ofwarm that way too. Oh no,
we couldn't, Miss Brooks. Wecould never fit into a cage that size.
(13:41):
Oh no, but it would befun trying to look, mister Boynton,
about what you estimate it would costfor new equipment for this lab.
Oh, couple of one hundred dollars, roughly one fifty if you smooth it
out. That's the sort of ajoke, Miss Brooks. First I said,
plea and then one fifty if yousmooth it out. Oh that's Lulu.
(14:07):
I know another one, but Iwish you'd stop me. If you've
heard it, it's about this groupof people. I've heard it. We
have the one about the group ofpeople who are all discussing something in a
very animated manner, and suddenly theystop, and this one fella says,
is anybody eating a lifesaver? Andsomebody else says, why in the first
chap says, because there's a holein the conversation. Is that the one
(14:31):
you've heard? No, I hearda different one. Tell yours. It's
about it. I just did tellit, Miss Brooks. Oh so you
did, mister Boynton, and alittle beauty. It was too. But
I better get ready for my firstclass now I'll seem it's a confliment at
the beginning of lunch period. Well, it's awfully nice of you to do
(14:52):
this, Miss Brooks. Will youhave lunch with me afterwards? Oh?
I'd love to, mister Boynton andMiss Brooks. Please don't even bring your
purse with you. It only embarrassesme when you try to pay your own
check in the cafeteria. All right, mister Boone, I'll leave my bag
in my desk. Fine, whenI see you to your room, I
can pick up what you owe me. That's a good one too. What
(15:15):
am I laughing at? He's notkidding. Let's see this list now,
where the stripping for my room fiftydollars, Basketball team equipment one hundred,
new sewing machine about two hundred andbiology lab equipment one fifty total five hundred
(15:37):
dollars. Of course, that's withoutthe additional coal we'll have to get.
Well, here goes aman. Hello, mister Conklin, I just want to
sit down a moment, Miss Brooke. I'm speaking on the phone, yes,
sir, So you see, MissStanhope, this senseless extravagance has got
to stop. Why do you realizethat your odd class used up three more
drawing pencils this month than last?What do you think the school board is
(16:00):
made of money? What? Howcan you cut down? Tell the students
not to sharpen them so often?And remember miss that Hope. It isn't
the fifty cents involved that's important.It's the money on the wall. And
let's start cutting down expenses around here. Good day. Now what do you
(16:22):
want? Happy to you, misterConklin. I mean I just happened to
be passing your office and I thoughti'd stop in and say hello, Hello.
Now's your excuse me? I wasjust going to learn. But mister
Conkline, you don't want to goup to that drafty cafeteria. What do
you mean drafty? Oh? Itis. It's almost as bad as the
schoolrooms. What and the gym andthe biology laboratory in the domestic science room
in which your own daughter, Harrietis at this very moment shivering and shaking
(16:45):
while she throws her gloved fingers togetheron the sewing machine which Bethy Snyder broke.
There, I said it, andI'm glad. If you're angling for
another vacation, miss Brooks, theanswer is enough. Now compose yourself and
talk like a rational humor. Well, it's like this, mister Conklin,
if we could get a larger appropriationfrom the school, a larger appropriation,
(17:07):
miss Brooks, let me tell youwhat I was planning when you so fortuitously
entered my office. I was planningon a general revision of expenses, an
economy wave the likes of which theschool has never seen. For example,
you will in the future direct yourpupils to use half as much chalk.
You mean, no more capital lettersexactly. And this building it's kept like
(17:32):
a hothouse. I intend to cutway down on the supply of coal.
We're wasting, wasting, But butdon't butt me, young woman. So
I can't help it. I'm thegoat that was picked for the job.
That is, it's not a questionof a lot of money, mister Conklin.
And the temperature of the school isvery important. It certainly is,
(17:52):
and I find it extremely comfortable forthe most part. But you, why
are you wearing your overcoat. It'sjust a silly quirk of mine, mister
Conklin. I'm trying to break upan ice jam and my arteries. Oh
nonsense, and take off those gloves. And I wish you'd stop smoking while
you're talking to me. I'm notsmoking, I'm just breathing. Well,
(18:15):
cut it out. That's the troublewith people nowadays. They're all mollycoddles softy.
Why when I think of our forefathersat bally Hodge dragging cannons through the
snow with their feet wrapped in rags, it's enough to make my blood boil.
It wouldn't boil in my room.Look, mister Conklin, if you
(18:36):
don't care about people, think ofthe poor little animals and mister Boynan's laboratory.
What's wrong with them? The whitemice can't run around on the treadmill
without snowshoes. But Google doesn't knowwhether to croak, sneeze, or hiccup,
so he does all three and it'spretty depressing. Well, then don't
(18:57):
listen to it. And how aboutthe basketball team. Walter Denton says that
every time one of his substitutes goesinto a game, he has to hide
behind a trunk while they're changing blankets. I just think one hundred dollars would
remedy the entire situation. One hundreddollars plus two hundred for new sewing machine,
(19:18):
fifty for weather stripping my room,and one hundred and fifty for warmer
tanks and better equipment than the biologylab. Five hundred dollars is all you
have to requisition from the board,plus some added money for coal. And
if you'll sharpen the sword, I'llfall on it. On my way out,
Miss Brooks, I'm going to tryto control myself. I'm going to
walk over to that window and lookout of it. A moment later,
(19:41):
I'm going to turn around and youwill have gone quietly out of the door.
That's better five hundred dollars indeed,plus coal. But here I am,
(20:08):
miss Brooks. The cafeteria was prettycrowded today with young Denton here invited
us to share his table. Surenow, miss Brooks, and want me
to get your trade, Thanks Walter, But I haven't time to eat right
now. I just left mister Conklin'soffice, and he's flatly refused to requisition
a penny from the school board.But the temperature my animals, McDougal's toes
are frostbitten. Now, And howabout my basketball team. We got a
(20:29):
very important home game on tomorrow night. Net Jim is just icy. Oh
we got to do something, missBrooks. We just got to get some
more coal into this building. Oh, maybe we could start an airlift.
Wait a minute. The only wayto make mister Conklin see the necessity of
improving the coal situation is to pretendwe're all coming down with coals. You
mean, going to his office,sneezing and coughing and all. Exactly.
(20:52):
He won't dare face the school boardinvestigation if he thinks an epidemic is starting.
Besides, I happen to know he'squite a hypochondriac when it comes to
contagious germs. But if we reallydon't have calls, you to be lying
to say we have, wouldn't it? It's a white lie for the common
good, mister Boyton. But youknow what happens to me when I tell
a false that I have a psychosomaticsymptom, That causes me to hiccup.
(21:14):
Well we'll have to take that chance. I think of mcdoogle, mister Boyne,
those blue goldfish swimming around depending onyou to do something. I'll do
it, Miss Brooks. I'll bedarned if I don't. Oh, I
beg your pardoner. Oh forget it, mister Boyton. In a crisis like
this, even I resort to profanity. Oh fudge, come in. Uh,
(21:45):
mister Conort, I got a badcoat? What it did? By?
Doze at dead? Mostly turn aroundBoyden? Want to know those germs
travel? How long have you hadthis code? Oh for a long time?
Something from that wretched frog of yours. I go take some aspiring go
home early, do something, butget out of this opposite one. But
(22:07):
mister cocklif by laboratory was a littlebit warb I'll talk to you after you've
recovered fired, mister cocklic. Thankyou, sir. You better open the
window and clear the air in thisroom. Ah ah, that's better come
(22:29):
in. It's be mister cocklic waterdeaded. What do you want Benden as
better d of the basketball team?I'd like to request a warble jib?
A what a warter jib to play? It. It's pleasing address. I
got a cloth you too, I'llcover your face when you sleep. We
(22:52):
gotta know reported game to play,to Bible, and we need some heap
burden. Well, if you've gotsuch a bad cold, Denton, you'd
better not come around to the gametomorrow. I'll be there and I'll appoint
another manager. But I'm not thatsick, mister Conklin. I feel great.
I need I think I know whatyou mean letting. This is all
(23:12):
a scheme to get me to askthe board for more money. And I
think I know who put you upto it. She did not come in,
miss Brooks. How did you knowit was me? Mister Coglid,
I heard you rehearsing your snee hee. You look great, Miss Brooks.
(23:33):
Never saw you looking better. Begyou, Walter. You couldn't possibly have
a cold or anything the way youlook. You know what I mean?
Keep talking, Denton, I don'tmind. Why what's the better with you,
Walter? I have a terrible cold. By chested by head. It's
from by Rube Bster Coglid have,mister Coglid, if that is the stream,
you sure do a funny imitation ofa person with a cold, Miss
(23:55):
Brooks, whether you be diputation,sure, everybody knows you're just fooling among
my own pupils. A stool pigeon. This was all a plot, Miss
Brookes, And I'm ashamed of you. Why, just because there's a little
fresh air circulating through the school,good fresh air, you throw a fit.
(24:18):
Our forefather should see you. Now, those men at the Valley Forge
dragging the cannon through the snow withrags tied around their feet, Why would
I think the door was open?So I just came on in, Daddy,
Oh, what is it, Harriet? I talked to mother on the
phone a little while ago, andher back's bothering her a bit. She
liked the heating pad. What heatingpad? The one you've got under the
cushion you're sitting on. Here's theplot back here now, if you'll just
(24:45):
get off a minute, there weare. I'll take it home to mother
right away. Where in the worlddid that thing come from? From Valley
Forge? Of course the boys musthave got some hot rags for their feet.
(25:12):
Well. Mister Conklin recommended the necessaryexpenditures to the school board and personally
ordered some coal. Immediately. Ithought it was a very sportsman like an
unselfish gesture, and I started totell him so when I met him in
the hall. Mister Conklin, Ithink it was very nice of you to
tackle this problem so promptly Brooks,but I was robbed up. I'm gott
(25:36):
to devode you. Oh what's thedifference, mister Conklin, As long as
you've got your health,
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