Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Pamai Souf your beauty Hope and LufterCream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible
hair. Bring you our Miss Brooks, Darring Eve Varden. Our Miss Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High School, has always hoped that somedays she
(00:24):
would have her department, But withmissus Emma Finch holding down the job for
the past five years, it didn'tlook like Connie Brooks would ever get a
crack at it until last week.It was right before the final exams,
that mister Conklin, our principal,told me Missus Finch was not only retiring
from the position, but actually leavingthe school. When I asked him why,
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he blushed and replied, because it'sbest for all concerns. Oddly enough,
it was our bashful biology teacher,mister Boynton who finally told me the
reason. We were alone in hislaboratory at the time, and he said,
Miss Brooks, missus Finch's going tohave a baby. I guess he
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put it that way so as notto embarrass some young rabbits who were listening.
Anyway, Friday morning, at breakfast, I was talking to my landlady,
missus Davis about it. Well whatdo you think, Missus Davis?
Do you suppose I'll get the job. I can't see any reasons why you
shouldn't, Cony, honestly, Butcan you see any reasons why I should,
Missus Davis? No, I can'tsee any of those. Jesus,
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He's help to mister Tunkline to recommendthe new department head to the Board of
Education, isn't it? Yes?It is real. How do you stand
with him? How do you mean, missus Davis? Have you been predeous,
co operasian, obedient and respectful?Uh? No, no, no,
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And maybe I'd better forget the wholething. Of course, it's not
entirely up to mister Conflon's opinion ofme personally. My work's got something to
do with it, hasn't it.Frankly, Connie, your work should have
everything to do with it, That'swhat I say. Maybe I'd better forget
the whole thing. Are there anyother English teachers at Matis Viginior as long
as you have let's see. Yes, miss Enright's been there about the same
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length of time, and she's beenquite friendly with the conference too. Of
course, I had mister Conflan's daughter, Harriet in my class, and we're
great friends. Then that wouldn't influencemister Compton nanny. Although Harriet's a pretty
good pupil, thank goodness, andher marks have all been exceptionally high.
That might count for something. Withthe old I wonder if you'll make his
decision right away, he might bethe position open for a while. I
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wish I knew, But then there'sno sense in brooding about it. I'm
either to be head of the departmentor I'm not to be. Oh,
thanks for reminding me, Connie.I must get two tickets for Hamlet today.
I promise my sister Angela I takeyou to see it. Of course,
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even if I forgot about it,she probably never even mentioned it.
She's so absent minded, poor thing. The older she gets, the more
forgetful she is. How old isshe now, missus David? Two your
sister? Which one Angela? Theabsent minded one? Oh, she's in
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the low seventies. That's pretty good, golfer an old lady. Oh,
Angela is not half as bad asmy brother Victor. He's so forgetful sometimes,
Why do you know, Tony,He can be talking to you about
something and right in the middle ofa sentence get off on another topic altogether.
Really, yes, it's quite disconcerting, but I guess it's just something
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that standaled below the fry. Coney. Well, I suppose you're just saying
what you here? How would youlike them? I'd like them introduced into
the conversation a little earlier, Butnow that you bring it up, Missus
Davis, I don't take them anyway. You want yours good, then we'll
both have oat meal. That's theonly way to eat eggs. Whatever you
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do, don't, miss snake pit. Where's the coffee, Missus Davis?
Right here, Coney, I'm toldyou got to. Thanks. You know,
it isn't just the extra salary thatmakes me so anxious to head the
English department. It's the additional income. How much of a reason you get,
camel Or. I'm not certain ofthe exact amount of Missus Davis,
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but it's well over nine dollars amonth. Just think I won't have to
put newspapers in my shoes when thesoles wear out. Now I can use
magazine paper. You mentioned a missn right before Connie. Is that the
rather snooty teacher you told me about. That's her? Missus Davis, and
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if she gets that job as headof the English department, she'll be impossible.
Well, she walks around the schoolnow as if she's infecting the stockyards
where she talks to people. Why, Darling, you look positively? She
I mean just too too, terriblyswan. Yet it's sickening. Oh then
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don't eat anymore, o, Neildear, just think your coffee. You've
been derailed again, Missus Davis.Let me help you back on the track.
I'm talking about miss enright, arival English teacher. She's got me
worried. Oh, don't worry aboutit, Connie. I'm sure her baby
will be a fine, healthy space. She isn't the one who's going to
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have the baby, Missus Davis.Well, that's a shame. I think
the mother should always take care ofher own baby, no matter what.
Finch's having the baby. Oh missusFinch. Oh, well that's a very
nice name for a baby. Now, if you'll excuse me, Connie,
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I got to clean up the dishes, all right, Missus Davis, You
clean up the dishes and I'll cleanup the conversation by myself. I'd help
you in the kitchen, but I'vegot to get ready to go to school.
Walter Denton's picking me up any minute. Walter's such a nice boy.
It's a pity he's not a morebrilliant student. But I think I know
this trouble, is Connie, lackof concentration? Concentration, Yes, if
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he would just concentrate on one subjectat the time, is he. He's
the kind of a boy who willHe's the type sipter, Uh, Connie,
Yes, what we'll be talking about, Walter Dent. Oh, he's
picking you walk this morning, isn'the. What happened to your carney?
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You just got it out of therepair shop. I know, Missus Davis,
but I took it out the nightof the big freeze. Oh it
froze. I did try to warmit up a little. I poured some
boiling water into the radiator, butthen the engine made the strangest sound.
What kind of a sound, Connie? Well, I may be wrong,
Missus Davis, but I'd swear itsaid, why don't you get yourself a
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bicycle? I'm glad you picked meup a little early this morning, Walter.
Today may be a very important dayin my life. Only importance of
today or any day in your life, Miss Brooks, is only exceeded by
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your importance to your adoring pupils,of which, if I may be so
bold, I consider myself one ofthe most worshipful and reverence Amen. I
thank you, Walder. Other thingsabout you, Miss Brooks, cherrek traits,
I guess you'd call them, butwhich you're not to be found in
any other teachers I've ever come intocontact with. And I just know that
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you are an eminently fair person.And I also know that you're kind,
gentle, and considerate of those whomay not possess the superior mentality, which
is obviously your birthright. What elsedo you know, Walter, that today
you're giving us the final exams inEnglish? I thought you were a little
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over smitten with me this morning.Oh I'm not trying to influence you to
give me a better mark. Well, no, i'd bend over backwards rather
than curry favor. But I've actuallystudied for this test, Miss Brooks.
The even Saturday, when Harriet draggedme to the movies, I took my
books right up to the balcony withme. What were you studying? Romeo
and Juliet? Ah, you're kiddingme? This Brooks. But I'm serious,
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I really crammed in that movie.But how could you read in the
dark? Oh, it isn't alwaysdark? And I have a three minute
intermission between pictures. Well that's plentyof time, especially if you were studying
in shorthand. Of course, notknowing exactly what the questions are going to
be about makes it a little toughernaturally, sort of a strain on a
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student not to know approximately the natureof the questions he should expect. That's
true. And just because a studenthas been fortunate enough to make a personal
contact with a teacher whom he notonly admires and respects as a person,
but whose integrity and honesty as aninstructor he holds in such high esteem,
has no reason for him to presumethat, just because he drives it to
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school faithfully and promptly, she wouldrelinquish just one tiny iota of that integrity
and slip him a little advanced informationabout the test. Is it? You're
so right, Walter. I knewyou'd react that way, miss Brooks,
But I just wouldn't have felt completelyhonest with myself if I didn't try to
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chisel it tip or two anyway,now you've dummied up about the tests,
maybe we excuse me, Walter,now that I've fed a dummied up.
It's a synonym of clammed up.When I don't want anyone to know something
about something I know about, Ialways clam up. And you're the chowdhead
who can do it. But Walter, when I mentioned much earlier in the
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trips that this was an important day, I wasn't referring to the final exam.
You weren't. No, I wasthinking of Missus Finch. Oh,
oh, the head of the EnglishDepartment, the ex head of the English
Department, Walder. Missus Finch isleaving Madison. Why because she's well,
Missus Finch is going to become amother of who. Now that's a fair
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question of her son or daughter,as the case may be. I didn't
know Missus Finch had any son ordaughter. Walder. You're not related to
missus Oh No, No, ofcourse not. She's just absent minded,
Chuck Walder. What concerns me atthe moment is whether or not I have
a chance to replace Missus Finch's headof the department. A chance. Why,
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you're a stand out, Miss Brooks, are you been teaching at Madison
long enough to be the principal?I mean, mister Conklin should certainly choose
you over anybody else. How aboutmiss Enry Oh? Gee, I forgot
about her. Now she's even olderthan you are, isn't she? Oh?
In point of service, that isno. I'm glad you tagged that
on Walter. Nobody could be olderthan me in years, not this morning
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anyway. Why don't you worry aboutit, miss Brooks? So why don't
you see mister Conklin when we getto school and have a little chat with
him, you know, turn onthe charms sort of? You mean,
butter him up? Is butter himup? Yes? And don't sound so
innocent, Walter. After the jobyou did on me this morning, you
should get a prize from the Dairyman'sAssociation. Sorry, Eve Arden will continue
(12:09):
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(12:30):
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(12:54):
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(13:18):
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(13:46):
mist ruts, good old Madison High. You know every time I look at
these hallowed walls. I wish forjust one thing. What's that wall?
I wish I was still home inbed, especially today with those finals come
up. Gosh, miss Brooks,isn't there some little suggestions you could make
some me? So i'd pass youit. Sam, certainly there is.
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Walter answer the questions correctly. Yeah, Well you better get off here,
miss Brooks, and I'll go partthe car all right, Walter, thanks
for the lift and good luck today. Oh, thank you, miss Brooks.
And good luck with mister Complin.No, I probably need it.
I hope he's in a good moodthis morning. Although why this morning should
be any better, miss brook Ohit's Harriet Conston. Good morning, Harriet.
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I wouldn't have interrupted you so little, queep, but you look sort
of worried about something. Worry mewhatever gave you that idea? Your complexion,
it's not as ruddy as it usuallyis. Oh, that's just from
the new powder base. I'm usingit's called elephants wallow gray. Actually,
though, I do have something onwhat's left of my mind? Harriet.
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It's missus Finch. She's leaving theschool. Yes, I know, I
heard she was going to have ababy. Who told you mister Boynton,
that's it. But Harriet, asyou must know, you've always been one
of my favorite pupils. I'm gladyou feel that way, Miss Brooks.
You are my very favorite teacher.Thanks. I'm very fond of your mother
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too, I know, and she'sterribly fond of you, Miss Brooks.
I'm glad. Then there's your father, yes, I know. Well,
Harriet, do you think that I'mjust going to what are you trying to
ask me? Miss Brooks? Doyou think he's warm enough for buttering this
morning? At least? Do youthink I should have a little talk with
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him in his office? Come off? What? Well, somebody's got to
replace missus Finch's head of the Englishdepartment, and I figure, but of
course you'll get it. Is thatfrom the horse's mouth or just rumor?
I mean, did you happen tooverhear anything that? Look, Harriet,
I don't want anybody to intercede forme because of any personal relationship we may
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have built up between us. WhatI'm trying to say is, well,
I wouldn't on any principal's daughter,not even a clever, bright, pretty
industrious, talented, intelligent one likeyourself, to become a fifth column for
me. Golly, miss Brooks,nothing I could say would sway Daddy one
inch. In fact, Mother andI bend over backwards rather than suggest anything
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about his duties at school. ButI'm so sure you're our next head of
the English Department that I've even writtena little poem about it. Care to
hear it? Well, if youdon't think it'll put the whammy on me?
Jinx anything to the head of theEnglish Department about to be I present
this little tribute to you from meand clash your good tempered and don't fume
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or fret. But when it comesto our homework, you sure make us
perspire. And in the forthcoming exams, whether I'm first or last, my
feelings for you will be the same, especially if I've passed. So,
Miss Brooks all hailed the head ofthe English Department about to be. Well,
what do you think of it?Miss Brooks? It won't send Carl
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Sandberg screaming into the hills, Harry, It's a lovely Sentiman. Now,
before I go into your father's laira den office, can you tell me
what kind of a mood he's in. Frankly, Miss Brooks, it isn't
too good. When the newsboy thatdelivers our paper came around for the money
this morning, daddy bit his headoff. Fine, then he should be
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too full to take a bite outof me. Com in. Good morning,
mister Conklin. Oh is you,miss Brooks? And how are you
this bright, cheery, radiant day? I'm cold, damp and depressed.
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Now what can I do for you? It won't take longer than a few
minutes. Oh, it isn't whatyou can do for me, mister Conklin.
It's what can I do for you? Know? I'll sharpen some pencils
for you. Here's why, theMiss Brooks, I don't want you to
shop, but this one is soblunty. It'll just take a minute.
There isn't that a lovely point?But I give me your thumb a minute.
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Wow, see what I mean?Now I'll just do a few more
of them and you'll have enough forthe week. Confounded, Miss Brooks,
I don't want any more of mypencil shocks. Oh it's really no trouble
at all, mister Conklin. Thisis just one of those days when a
person feels privileged to assist this fellowman, a day when a spirit of
cooperation seems to beckon like a beaconor a day when Missus Finch is leaving
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Madison and her physician as head ofthe English Department. Missus Finch leaving Madison.
Yes, yes, miss Brooks,I think I told you that several
days ago. Oh yes, ofcourse, I've been so busy preparing my
final examination paper. It must haveslipped my mind. She's going to have
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a baby, isn't she. Why? Yes, Oh, yes, she
is going to have a baby.Well, I just know they'll be happy
together. Let's see what else Ican do to make this office a home
away from home for you. Iknow. I'll just rinse out this penwiper
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for you. That happens to bea blue pocket handkerchief I got for Christmas.
I must have fallen out of mycoat. Oh, then I'll tuck
it back in for you. MayI say? You have a lovely eye
for color combinations, mister Conklin.It goes so well with this pretty purple
tie you've got on. But itseems a little loose around your neck.
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Let me tighten it the bit there, Missus Brooks. There that's better.
Now you're both the same color.See here, Miss Brooks, I don't
know what you expect to get.Oh, I must clean off a desk
of yours, mister Conklin. Andwhy in the world does that big open
ink well have to be perched rightin the middle of everything? Because I
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like it that way. Now listento me, young, I'll have things
in shape and no time. Firstwe'll move these papers next to the inkwell.
And then oh, now where isthe ink well perched? Miss Brooks.
Oh, don't worry about that,mister Conklin. Ink is good for
the rug as well. Anyway,I'll go get a mop, sit down,
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sit down. Yes, yes,as you know, I spent considerable
time in the army as a major. Yes, I know, mister Conklin,
and it always gave me a greatfeeling of security to know that somebody
like you. Why yes, sir, Sorry Eddy, Now then, miss
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Brooks. From my army experience,it's obvious to me that you are bucking
for something, mister Conklin. It'sa colloquialism, Miss Brooks. It means
that in order to gain some endof your own, you are acting like
an eager beaver. Want some pencilsharpened? Tell you the truth, mister
Conklin, I just wanted to buy. No, what come in, good,
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darling, mister Conklin. Well,well it's miss ra Oh and missus
Brooks is here too. How nice, darling? You look positively chic,
I mean just too too terrible?One yea loads, What are you doing
in school so early? Darling?You're usually telling into your room like a
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mad thing minutes after the bell iswrung. You must have telescopic vision to
see me from the bus you're justcatching at that time. Well, but
what can I do for you?Missn Right? Oh, it isn't what
you can do for me, misterConslan. It is what can I do
for you? Oh? I know, I'll sharpen some pencils for you.
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Mister Cotton. Maybe I can straightenout your desk. Oh, heavens,
what happened to this inkuell? Ialready straightened out his desk. Well,
don't worry about it, mister Conklin. I'm sure you can pick up another
rug like that for five or sixhundred dollars. Oh, before I forget,
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I'd like you to have these woolensocks. I knitted them myself,
but it was a labor of love, mister Cochlin. I worked on these
sucks just every available moment. Iwasn't faithfully discharging my duties as an English
teacher. They're merely a slight expressionof my gratitude for having been granted the
privilege of working for such a warm, kindly and considerate boss as yourself.
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This kid melts it before she spreadsit on. Thank you for the thought,
Miss Enright. But with missus Finchleaving Madison, is she really well?
This is a big surprise. Itmust be. You look even more
(23:10):
surprised than you did when we heardabout it last Tuesday. That will do,
Miss Brookes, Miss n Right.In view of the fact that you
are eligible for the position that missusFinch is relinquishing, I feel that I
cannot accept this pair of socks.But mister Cochlan, whatever shall I do
with him? You can give oneto missus Finch's baby. It will make
(23:32):
a nice sleeping bag for him.I think you should know, ladies,
that my selection will be based largelyupon the results your students achieve in their
final exams this morning. Therefore,you will not mark your own papers,
but bring them into this office immediatelyafter the tests are completed. Are you
going to mark them, mister Conklin, certainly not, Miss Brokes. My
daughter Harriet is one of the studentstaking the tests. No now, In
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order to assure complete impartiality, I'veasked someone from another department to correct the
papers, mister Boynton. Mister Boynton, Oh, I know that you see
each other socially on occasion, buthe's the soul of honesty, and I
know that he, like myself,would bend over backwards to see that justice
is done. Who's teaching everybody tobend over backwards? Arthur Murray? Well,
(24:17):
I don't think this arrangement is completelyfair, mister Conston. I never
see mister Boynton. Well, ifit'll make you feel any better, Miss
end right, I'm not going tosee him again either until lunch. If
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you'll just tell me what you want, Miss Brooks, I'll take your train.
I'm too nervous at anything right now, mister Boynton. I'll wait until
I find out the result of thismorning's exam, the one you're marking.
Mister Boyton. Oh, well,that's something i'd rather not talk about,
Miss Brooks. You see, Ipromised mister Conklin. I know you've got
to be strictly impartial, mister Boynton, But couldn't you give me just an
inkling of how I make out?But I gave my word, Miss Brooks,
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just a teensy suggestion of the mirroresttrace of a breath of a hint.
But I gave mister Conklin my Scoutshonor. Well, and you might
as well get yourself something to eat. Very well, Miss Brooks, I
hope you swallow a merit bird.Hey waw dear mister Boynton. Hello,
(25:23):
Miss Nnright, May I share thistable with you? The cab here is
awfully crowded today. I don't seewhy not, Miss ann right, I
do? Oh, hello darnie.Oh, mister Boynton, before I forget,
I'd like you to have these woolensucks. I knitted them especially for
you. I don't think I should, Miss inn Right. You see I'm
(25:47):
still judging your examination papers. Butwell, thanks, just the same nof
you'll tell me what you'd like toeat? Well let me see, Oh,
I see they have turkey today.Would you get me a drumstick?
Mister Boynton? Why don't you gettwo drumsticks and put the socks on them,
(26:11):
Miss Brooks, Miss Enwright, I'vesummoned you to my office to tell
you that mister Boynton has finished raidingthe examination papers and has reported to me
that both of your classes have doneequally well. Therefore, it will have
to be my decision after all.And that decision is, dear mister Conklin,
I have decided. Yes, Dearmister Conklin, I have decided that
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for the coming fiscal year, Ishall save the Board of Education exactly nine
dollars and eighty five cents per month. There will be no head of the
English department in this school. Why, Darling, what in the world are
you doing? Just breaking some ofthe pencils I sharpened this morning? Martness,
(27:07):
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(28:21):
Brooks. Well. I was alittle depressed about not getting the job as
head of the English Department, butI perked up the following night when mister
Boynton came by and took me tothe movies. As we got to this
thera, he stepped up to thebox office. Two tickets please here,
mister Boyn let me buy my ownticket. Why, missus Brooks, I
wouldn't think of it. Well,that's very nice. You can pay me
for yours when we get inside.Thank you, and good night Diamond Jim
(28:48):
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Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden, isproduced by Larry Burns, written and directed
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(29:11):
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