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January 27, 2024 29 mins
Our Miss Brooks was a beloved American sitcom that ran on CBS radio from 1948 to 1957. It was one of the most popular radio shows of its time, and it was later adapted into a successful television series that ran from 1952 to 1956.


The show starred the iconic Eve Arden as Connie Brooks, a wisecracking and sarcastic English teacher at Madison High School. Arden's portrayal of Miss Brooks was both hilarious and endearing, and she won over audiences with her quick wit and sharp one-liners

The supporting cast of Our Miss Brooks was equally memorable. Gale Gordon played the uptight and pompous Principal Osgood Conklin, Richard Crenna played the dimwitted but lovable student Walter Denton, and Jane Morgan played Miss Brooks' scatterbrained landlady, Mrs. Davis.

The show's storylines were typically lighthearted and comedic, focusing on the everyday trials and tribulations of Miss Brooks and her students. Miss Brooks would often find herself in comical situations, such as dealing with mischievous students, trying to impress her love interest, or getting into trouble with her boss.

Our Miss Brooks was a groundbreaking show in many ways. It was one of the first sitcoms to feature a strong female lead character, and it helped to pave the way for other shows with similar formats. The show was also praised for its sharp writing and its talented cast

.Even though it went off the air over 60 years ago, Our Miss Brooks remains a classic radio sitcom. The show is still fondly remembered by fans, and it continues to be enjoyed by new generations of listeners.

Here are some additional facts about Our Miss Brooks:
  • The show was created by Al Lewis, who also wrote most of the episodes.
  • Our Miss Brooks won numerous awards during its run, including four Peabody Awards.
  • The show was adapted into a movie in 1956.
  • In 2016, Our Miss Brooks was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio

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Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
On my life. So your beautyHope and Luster Cream shampoo for soft,
glamorous, caressible hair, bring youour Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. Our
Miss Brooks, who teaches English atMadison High School, is as fond of

(00:24):
sports as most of us, butsomehow basketball was never one of her favorites.
It isn't that I don't like basketball, I just hate it. This
aversion started when I was refereeing agame in Teachers College, and in the
excitement, I swallowed the whistle.Of course, it was only a small

(00:46):
whistle, but it gets pretty embarrassingwhen every time you hiccup, traffic stops.
Anyway, last Wednesday morning, MissusDavis, my landlady, woke me
a full hour earlier than usual.She told me that Walter had, the
manager of the basketball team, waswaiting to see me in the living room.
If I could have had one freethrow, I'd have thrown him out

(01:07):
and gone back to sleep. MissusDavis wouldn't let me come on now,
Connie, the boy seems very concernedabout something. You got to see him,
Poor missus Davis. Where's my robe? I send it out to the
laundry. Connie, here, Ibrought you on a mine to where this
was part of my trousseau. Itook it along on my honeymoon. We
had a wonderful honeymoon, just youand the bathrobe. No, my husband

(01:34):
was along, Kevins. Didn't peopletalk? You just love this robe.
It's beautiful material, isn't he lovely? What is it exactly? Missus Davis?
Ostrich feathers over seersucker, No,dear, it's satin, and that
big feather boy is born around theneck. You sleep it all. See

(01:57):
now you throw this bowl around yourneck? So how do you like it?
Connie? Very tasty? Come onout into the living room, Connie.
Walter's anxious to talk to you,all right, But I don't know
why he has to drop around inthe middle of the night like this.
We are, Walter, Why ifyou're chatting to Miss Brooks. I'll fix

(02:17):
us all aboute the breaks? Ohthanks, missus Davis. Greetings, Miss
Brooks. I'll bring you out soearly. Paul Revere, the British one.
They're calling these back if normally yourwitticisms would tickle my risibilities, Miss
Brooks, but this morning I've gotto talk to you about something that's where
did you go this boa just blewacross my That's what is your problem this

(02:46):
morning? Well, it's not reallymy problem, miss Brooks. That is
it isn't my personal problem. Butas the manager of the basketball team,
I'm in big trouble. Is somethingwrong with the team, Walter? Oh,
not the whole team, Miss Brooks. It's well, it's just stretch
all right there now, it's thetrouble. And you don't understand, Miss

(03:08):
Brooks. Stretches our star player,one of the best forwards we've ever had,
and he may not be eligible forthe big game with clay City High
tonight. And that's why you've gotto get in there and pitch. Well.
I'd love to help out, Walder, but I'm afraid my middy blocks
and bloomers must be moth eaten bynow. Now here's what better blow again.
Miss Brooks's back, Thanks Walter,ireak snook you two. Everything's ready

(03:34):
coming, Missus Davis. We cancontinue this later on, Walter, come
on, let's eat well, Ihad breakfast before I left the house.
Oh then would you rather wait inthe living room? Oh no, that
was over a half hour ago.Hi, missus Davis. Where do you
want me to sit? Oh?It, just sit right down here on
my left walk me. Now,would you like some eggs after you've eaten
your oat meal? As I justtold Miss Brooks, I already had some

(03:58):
eggs and oatmeal at home. Ohsee, so I'll just have some French
toasts. You must come over fordinner some night. After you've had dinner,
time, make you some in thejiffy? Does drink your juice meantime?
Say this orange juice tastes rather peculiar, and that's because you're drinking it
through that boa. Better blow again. Thanks now to get back to my

(04:20):
dilemma, Miss Brooks, shouldn't wedelemb after breakfast? Walter, I'm sorry
to body you like this, butI'm afraid it's imperative. You see,
mister Conklin's made a rule that anybodywho fails a subject is ineligible for any
sports until he's passed the first testof the new semester in the subject which
he failed. And Stretch failed lastterm. So so with a teacher Stretch

(04:43):
has an English who's giving him thetest this term, he doesn't stand a
chance of passing. Who has hein English? Ho, lady Enright,
I mean miss Enright. Oh,I'm sure miss Enright's a very capable teacher.
Really, we are some nice Frenchtoast. I made it from a
famous Turkish recipe, the Turkish recipe. Yes, the Turks are famous for

(05:03):
their French toast. You know theyare, of course they are, Walder.
You should taste their Chinese cumquads.Can I have Walden? I don't
want to stuff myself, Missus Davis. Those three pieces on the end will
be plenty. And now about missEnright now, I don't think it's fair
for her to give Stretch a test. I heard she was jilded by a

(05:25):
basketball player years ago. Walter,you shouldn't talk that way about miss Enright.
Just because someone doesn't reciprocate the affectionof someone who's fond of them doesn't
make the person who's fond of someonea monster. And I got that sentence
from an old Turkish recipe, famousBrooks speaking of someone not reciprocating someone's affection.

(05:45):
Have you heard from mister Boynton lately? Ouch, get those punches up,
Walder. Let's forget about mister Boytonfor now. Just what is it
you want me to do? Well? I was talking this over with Harriet
Conklin and we decided to get Stretchedtransferred out of miss nil Rights class.
Of course, this means somebody's gotto work on Harriet's old man. Look,
Walter, Harriet's father happens to beour principal. You will kindly refer

(06:08):
to him as mister compline. Imsorry, Miss Brooks. Well, Harriet
and Iron Stretch are supposed to meetat school this morning, and that's why
I'm here so early to discuss gettingStretched out of Miss Enright's class and into
yours into mine. But you knowhow prouded my class is now? Every
time I enter my room it lookslike payoff night at a pyramid club.

(06:30):
Carmis Brooks, we got a hurrydown to school and meet Harriet. Now
there must be a way to getStretch into your class, so you can
give him the test while I,as manager of the team, sit across
the aisle from him and give himmoral support. Are you sure that's all
you'd give him? I just wantStretch to feel at home. He's not
very good in English, and whowell with me there? Maybe get more

(06:50):
confidence, confidence based on the mereproximity to one which in the same subject
has always flourished so startlingly. Ifanybody sits near stretch had better be Harriet.
She at least speaks English. Butshe's so honest in tests. I
mean, she has the most peculiarway of holding her left hand. When
she's writing down answers. All youcan see is her elbow. Oh guy,

(07:14):
her trying to copy from her?Oh no, of course not.
It was just a coincidence that afterthe final exam's last term, your neck
was so far out of joint youlooked like a Balinese dancer. No.
There. As much as I'd liketo help you kids, I can,
And the less I see of misterConklin for a while, the better the
win, Miss Brooks, because misterConklin holds me responsible for what happened last

(07:35):
week. Remember the fire in misterBoyton's laboratory which started when the circuit was
overloaded after I plugged in an electricheater that belonged to mister Conklord what is
that? And then the fireman hadto tear down the wall, and they
thought mister Conklin was stuck in theheater vent, which he wasn't because he
was locked in the stock room.And I slammed the door on it.
And whose fault was that? Yours? That's what I like, A nice

(07:56):
orderly mind. Come on hand.So you've seen Miss Brooks. Without stretch
on the team would probably lose thebiggest game of the year. But what
can I do about it? Oh? I told you, Miss Brooks,
you can work on Harriet's old man, Walter, I told you not to

(08:18):
use that expression. Okay, misterconflict, But gosh, other kids have
been transferred to other classes, yes, but not for such a thin reason.
Just to win a basketball game isthat reason. This is a clay
City game, And it wouldn't beso bad if the coach hadn't taken sick
yesterday. The coach is sick too, desperately. This is the saddest thing
since humor esque. Fortunately, wehave an ex basketball star teaching here who's

(08:43):
been made temporary coach. But itwould just break his heart if he lost
his first game. Who is thiscoach, Harriet? Mister Boyton, mister
Boyton, are you sure positive?Well, don't stand there, girl,
We've got to go to work onyour old man. All This book starring

(09:09):
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(09:31):
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(09:54):
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(10:18):
Yet Pomali soap right away to helpwin a lovelier complexion and try for your
share of the one hundred thousand dollarsin cash prizes. Well, I realized
that some ancient gossip about miss Enwright'sprejudice against basketball players would never cause mister

(10:41):
Conklin to give Stretch a transfer.But after a brief council of war during
study period, I hit upon whatseemed like a pretty good plan. I
would tell mister Conflin that the boywas unhappy in his class because his fellow
students were picking on him. AsI told Walter and Harriet, in a
democratically operated high school, no boyshould be forced to remain and surroundings that
are not conducive to his getting themost out of the school curriculum. Bravo,

(11:03):
Miss Brook's Bravo, Yeah, bravo, what did you say? Now
when Stretch gets here, we'll haveto find out just what annoys him the
most in his English class. Ohthat's him, now, Command Stretch,
High Stretch, you know miss Brooks. Hi, Hi, we haven't too
much time, so I'll come rightto the point, what bothers you in

(11:26):
miss Enright's class? Bothers me?Yeah? How they treat you terrible?
Don't they? The other kids,I mean the other kids. They pick
on you and call you names,don't they names? This is the most

(11:46):
backward forward I ever member. Look, the kids do call you one name.
We all know about Stretch. Now, why do you suppose they tacked
that on you? I don't know. Maybe it's because I weigh a undred
and twelve pounds and I'm six footfive. Serves me right for getting over
the flu last year. Look,we're trying to help you become eligible for

(12:09):
the clay City game. You wantto play in it, don't you?
I sure do, Miss Brooks.There isn't anything I wouldn't do it.
Then keep quiet and listen. Sorry, Walter, go ahead, and Miss
Brooks, well, first of all, I hate nicknames. What's your real
name? Babyan Snodgrass? Habian Snodgrass. That's right, Look, Stretch,

(12:35):
we really want to help you.The kids here feel that if I give
you the exam, you'll stand abetter chance of passing. Not that there's
going to be any funny business.You understand, Oh, I understand perfectly.
Miss Brooks, Walter wouldn't want anypart of anything that wasn't strictly on
the up and up. You saidit, Stretch. You just let's know,
Walter, and you'll be all right. I always do, don't I,
Walter. You're our manager, andyou always know what's best for all

(12:58):
of us, Yes, sir,Yes, sir. And if you don't
listen, Walder won't tell you aboutthe rabbits anymore. So let's get back
to your scholastic achievements or lack ofthem. What subjects did you pass last
term? All of them but Englishjust barely. But I passed them,

(13:20):
and I can't understand why I didn'tpass English. I always done my homework
very good, very well, verywell, Stretch. Isn't it true that
you couldn't always do your work properlybecause of the other pupils harassing you.
I ain't never worked near as hardat any subject as I done in English,
hardly. But it wasn't all yourown fault that you failed. There

(13:48):
were other students in the class,all kinds of students, doing all kinds
of things. Yeah, they werea swell bunch of kids, all right.
But you know something, miss Brooks, It wasn't the grammar that done
it? No, then what diddone it? Done? Did it everything?
It was the composition that made missEnright flunk me. We was allowed

(14:11):
to pick our own theme. Wewere allowed to pick our own theme used
too, Huh? Like I said, we could write about anything we wanted.
So I got my idea off onthe radio. It's not very bright
of me to ask, but whatkind of a radio idea did you write

(14:33):
about? I wrote in twenty fivewords or less. I hate English because
I mean, good morning, misterConton. Can I speak to you for
a moment? If you know howto speak at all, you can.

(14:54):
But if it's permission you want,you may, Sorry, mister Conton,
I haven't taken English since I wasa girl, But I'd like to request
a transfer for one of the studentshere. He's in miss Enright's class at
the present time. But Miss Brooks, the new term has already started.
You know, we can't issue anytransfers at this late date. Oh,
but this case is extraordinary, misterConklin. A boy's life is being made

(15:16):
miserable by his classmates. What boyFabian Snodgrass. They call him all sorts
of names, anything worse than fabians. Well, for one thing, they
call him stretch Stretch, what's soterrible about that? I'm sorry, Miss

(15:37):
Brooks. I can't do anything foryou. But mister Conklin, he failed
English last term because of the conditionsin miss Enright's class, and if she
fails him in his test this term, he won't be eligible for athletics.
Athletics, there's too much emphasis onathletics in the school system. Now,
no, miss Brooks, the boy'sstay is where he is. And then
come in, well hello, seeI oh, I'm sorry. I didn't

(15:58):
know you were busy or come in, JB. Come in, Miss Brooks.
This is Jason Brill, principle ofplay City. H How do you
do, mister Broll? How doyou do, Miss Brooks? What brings
you all the way to Madison?JB? Will? Everything's running so smoothly
at Clay City. I thought i'ddrop over and find out how things were
with you. I heard you hada fire over here last week. Fire.

(16:21):
Oh it was nothing at all,really, no, indeed, some
teacher just blew a fuse that tYeah, you got yourself locked in the
storeroom too, didn't you? Uh? Into my inner office, if you
will excuse us, Miss Brooks,but I still want to talk to you.
Miss. I'll talk to you later. Just wait here in my ouner

(16:42):
office, all right, mister Conon, I'll wait right here. You sure
I'm not disturbing you as good?That teacher out there a pretty bit of
baggy, isn't she? Yes?Yes, I'd like to check her sometimes.

(17:04):
Well, Os Good, we haven'tseen each other since the big Clay
City Medicine High football game. Wegave you a good drubbing in that one.
Seventy nine to nothing, wasn't it? It was not? It was
seventy eight to nothing. But wehad a good excuse for losing that one.
Yes, I know your team showedup. That was nothing to what

(17:26):
our basketball team is going to doto you tonight. Why we should win
by forty points? What? Whywe'll wipe up the gym with you?
Will care to make a little weederon that, Oz Good? I'm not
a betting man and you know it. Oh, come on, Oz Good,
Just to make things interesting, howabout a nice new hat to the
winner? Well, I do needa new hat. You're on JB.

(17:48):
Fine? Well, I'll be runningalong now. See you at the game
tonight, made the best team fromClay City win. You haven't a chance.
Oh you're still here, mis Broke, Yes, mister conquer Well,
goodbye, Miss Brooks, goodbye misterbrill ohen Osgar. Yes, if you
want to, you can check herwith me sometimes, old reprobate. Now,

(18:15):
then, Miss Brooks, come tothe point, just what do you
want me to do about this thisstretch stretch not bass. Just because a
kid happens to be a star basketballplayer is no reason for other kids to
make fun of him. I'm sorry, Miss Brooks. I can't change the
rules in the middle of a semesterjust on account of some star basketball player.
After all, there are other studentsin this school. Who who who

(18:38):
did you say? A star basketballplayer? Yes, sir, And if
he passes a test today, he'seligible for the game tonight. That's right,
mister Conklin, and your own daughter, Harriet and Walter and everybody seems
to think that they'll have a betterchance if I give him the examination,
Miss Brooks. In a democratically operatedhigh school, no boy should be forced
to remain in surroundings that are notconduced. Who is getting the most out

(19:00):
of the school curriculum. Having transferredat once, there's just one thing I
insist on, Yes, mister Cockran, the test must be absolutely impartial.
At Madison, we have just onestandard procedure, one examination with liberty and
justice for all. Come on,Walter, there's mister Boynton. Okay,

(19:29):
Harriet, pardon us, mister Boynton. But the cafeteria is pretty passed today.
Oh yes, I know. Whydon't you sit at this table with
me? Now that's what I calltaking the base. I mean, thanks,
mister Boynton. We wanted to talkto you before Miss Brooks came up.
You see, Stretch is taking hisEnglish test in miss brooks free period
right after lunch. But I thoughtStretch was in Miss Enwright's class. He

(19:51):
was, but Daddy transferred him becausehe doesn't want the boy to be unhappy.
Now it's up to us, especiallyyou as basketball coach, to see
that Miss Brooks is an very goodmood when she gives him the test.
Maybe she'll even let us be there. But what can I do. We'll
just be nice, you know,even if she doesn't order salad, spread
a little oil around. I'm alwayscourteous to Miss Brooks. Will then be

(20:15):
more than courteous, be be civil. Well what my attitude, Todd,
Miss Brooks has to do with she'scoming over now? Be terribly nice.
Remember this is the biggest game you'llever coach. Hill out mister Boyton,
how do you do, Miss Brooks? How are you? Harriet Walter?
We're fine, Miss Brooks. Oh, won't you join us? I'll sit
right here by, mister Boynton.I'll move the chairs closer together. There,

(20:40):
Thank you? Now? Then whatlooks good today? You do,
Miss Brooks? You look simply lovely? Well? Hi, praise coming from
you Walter? He should have comefrom you, mister Boynton. Miss Brooks,
if you'll just tell me what youwant, I'll go get your tray
filled up. I really haven't givenmuch thought. That's one nice thing about

(21:03):
having a perfect figure. You caneat anything. I don't think my figure
is so perfect, not you,mister Boynton. That's brock. Here.
Let me wipe off the table infront of no pass me those glasses of
water? Will you water? Yeah? Thank you? Here's one for you,
Miss Brooks. Oh here, MissBrooks, take my knives and forks

(21:25):
too. I'm not hungry just yet. I am I'm starved. I'd eat
some roast beef today, if itwasn't so expensive expensive? What's that got
to do with anything mister Boynton's treatingyou? There goes the water must have
gotten down the wrong pipe. Yeah, the pipe that likes to go Dutch.

(21:47):
Look, I appreciate this attention,but there's something I think you all
ought to know. What's that?I'm giving Stretch his eligibility test in private?
In private, that's right, Andif you'll meet me after school,
I'll refund all Curdie he's extended tome during this lunch period. Now,

(22:10):
Stretch, who say you've completed thewritten portion of the examination? Yes,
ma'am, do the best of myability. I was afraid of that.
Well, put the papers to oneside and we'll get into the oral test.
Ooks. What do you want,Walder? I forgot my rubbers?
How, don't pay attention to methough, Just keep going, Hi,
Stretch, never mind that. Sorry, you're on your own kid. I'll

(22:33):
just look around over here. We'llkeep away from Stretch. First question.
Hi, I just want to comefor a minute, miss Brooks. For
what Harriet? I lost my fountainpan. I'm sure it's in one of
these tests. Oh, you goright, ahead, miss Brooks. High
Stretch, Hi, Harriet, whydon't you look over here by me?
Cut that out? Where do youthink you are? Well? She's pretty.

(22:56):
It's a good thing. That wasn'tone of the test questions. Look,
Stretch, you are fond of radioshows. Now just make believe you're
on a quiz program. I begyour pardon this, Brooks, but I
think I left a book in here. This test should have been given in
the rose bowl. Sit right down, mister Boynton. Stretch is about to
get the oral test. Oh well, I'll be very quiet as Brooks so

(23:18):
well, Stretch, I'm afraid.But here goes question one named three plays
by William Shakespeare. William who Shakespeare. He was a tall, thin fellow
with a little goatee. Oh him, three plays. Huh m hmm.
Maybe I shouldn't look for my rubbersnow. Maybe it's just much ado about

(23:42):
nothing, Walter, ado about nothing, he said of the Brooks stuff.
One answer, right, go ahead, Stretch, think of another one another
one? Oh, don't make anymistakes. Now this could easily become a
comedy of errors. Comedy of errors, But for you, Stretched, not

(24:03):
not just one more, mister pointAnd I'm surprised at you giving a pupil
hints in a private test. Butmiss Brooks, I didn't say anything.
I'm just routing for the boy.Oh well, I guess this is something
of a tempest and a teapot.I think I got the third one,
Miss Brooks. What is it?Teapot? That is absolutely wrong? Would

(24:32):
you like to try for tempest?Yeah, jumpers. Next question, what
plays did Shakespeare write between the twoentitled Pericles Prince of Tire and Coriolanus?
Where did everybody go? Would yourepeat the question? Please? Certainly?

(24:56):
What plays did Shakespeare write between thetwo entitled Pericles Prince of Tire and Corey
Alanis? Well, don't stand there, thank boy. Well, mister Conklin,

(25:17):
I have the result of both testswritten in Aura, good, good,
just everything on my desk here.I'm not even going to check these
papers, miss Brooks. I'm thatsure of your integrity. Thank you,
mister Conklin. But as you know, we weren't alone. I never mind
that, Miss Brooks. The examinationwas based on the one hundred percent system.
That's right, But every once ina while, somebody, please,
miss Brooks. It's all done withpassing is sixty five percent? Is that

(25:38):
great? Yes, sir fine,Now what was the boys mark thirty nine?
Miss Brooks, I would like youto jot down my latest ruling on
eligibility for athletic activities, mister Conklin, No student who has previously failed the

(26:00):
subject will be eligible for any athleticteam if he fails the first two tests
in any term. Mister Conklin,may I say that I have never seen
such touching concern for the hopes andambitions of Madison's students. Well, thank
you, Miss Brooks. I rememberwhen I was a boys on one more
thing, mister Conklin. Yes,when you get your new hat, wear

(26:21):
it in good health. Eve bardinersare. Miss Brooks returns in just a
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(26:41):
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(27:03):
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(27:27):
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gave the Clay City team a prettythorough drubbing, and right after the game

(27:48):
I congratulated mister Boynton. Honestly,mister Brydon, I thought you did a
superb job of coaching. Thanks,Miss Brooks. With the kids deserve most
of the credit. They played agreat game, yes they did. You
know something, mister Borton, Ihave been are excited at the basketball game
since I swallowed the whistle and teachescollege where Chris Brooks said, that's pretty
serious. What did you do aboutit? Nothing? But I intend to
see a doctor about it one ofthese days later, ar Miss Brooks.

(28:21):
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(29:04):
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brushless or parmlaid Lads Shaving Green Todayor mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen
to mister and Missus North Tune inTuesday evenings over most of these same stations,
and be with us again next weekat the same time or another comedy

(29:26):
episode of our Miss Brooks bob LamonSpeaking. This is CBS three, Columbia Broadcasting System
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