August 12, 2025 • 30 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Palmy Shave
Creams for a smoother, more comfortable way to shave.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Bring you ar, Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. It's time once.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Again for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks under
the direction of al lewis Well. In the daily life
of our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School,
teaching itself only takes up a portion of her time.
This leaves a number of free hours each day to
pursue an outside interest.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But it doesn't leave quite enough free hours, especially since
my outside interest refuses to stand still long enough for
me to drop a netto brim. In fact, lately I've
even considered taking up another outside activity besides mister Boynton,
like the one my Landlady began recently. Missus Davis was
(00:59):
quite reticent about her hobby until last Wednesday morning at breakfast,
when she gave me a broad hint.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Notice anything different about the table this morning, Connie, Well.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
The big cats have stained in front of my place
is gone.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
It's under your egg cup, dear, Yes again.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Oh, of course, the big bowl of apples in the center.
What a delicious display.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm glad you like it, Connie, it's a hat?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Who designed it? William? Tell you know?
Speaker 4 (01:37):
I did. You probably don't know this, but years ago
I used to design hats like mad.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Why you mad? Hat?
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Are you?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I never would have suspected you? Seem so normal in
some other respects.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Well, I haven't had the yin in years, but last
week my brother Victor sent me some samples of the
material his ferm makes. And you know my brother Victor,
don't you.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I've heard you speak of him quite often.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
He's a peculiar man, victim, rather a slow moving type
of fellow, but once he gets interested in something, he follows.
Right through the last couple of years, he's been up
to his ears in plastics.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
No wonder he's slow moving. But what has plastic got
to do with your designing hats? Again?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
That's what they're made of. I'll bet you never even
noticed that this is really two hats in one, two
in one, yes, or in this way it looks like
a bowl of apples that when you turn it around
like this, it's a sparrow.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Well, what a novel idea? If you're out with a
man you like, you tempt him with an apple, and
if your date is a drip, he gets the birds.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I've got four.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Of them all made up so far. They should be
easy to sail. With Mother's Day coming this Sunday.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Well, I don't know, missus Davis. They're a bit unusual
for popular consumption, I'm afraid not.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
If they're presented right, Connie. And that's where you come in.
I want you to help me sell them at school.
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Me.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Yes, if you sell all four of them, I'll deduct
half of the back rank you owe me. And it
shouldn't be difficult to sell them. It isn't as if
they were hard to move, not if.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
The wind is right. Of course, if I could reduce
my debt to you. Oh that must be Walter Denton.
He's driving me down to school.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Come on in, Walter, try to sell him one for
his mother. Connie. I'll get into the kitchen and rustle
up some goodies for Walter's inner man.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Better get some for his outer man too.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
Please to the rightest tarn Is scholastic firmament.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's a little early for me to twinkle, Walter. But
sit down, you're gonna have a bit of breakfast with us,
aren't you? Well?
Speaker 7 (03:59):
I might be for sway did to partake of a
wee morsel if he coax me?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
And if I don't coax.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
You, you couldn't be that cruel.
Speaker 8 (04:10):
All right?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Then? What'll it be? French toast, eggs, griggle cake?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Fine? Missus?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Davis Walter's here, vacuum the kitchen and bring in the.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Bag shop a giant omelet for him.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Dear, he's the little giant that can eat it.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
You know, I don't know what's happening at home, but
my mother just doesn't seem to be making the breakfast
she used to.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Well, maybe she's just worn out.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Well, she does cook an offil our meals for us, of.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Course she does, Walter. And while we're on the subject,
how much thought have you given to her Mother's day gift?
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Quite a bit.
Speaker 7 (04:51):
And I've come up with something that should show her
how grateful I am for all she's done for me.
I'm gonna get her a present that'll make her forget
the many menial in our you was passed, she performs
in my behalf.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
What's the present?
Speaker 7 (05:04):
A bottle of sweet air for the kitchen. What do
you think the idea, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
It smells I mean, it smells very pleasant.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Of course I'd like to get her something else too,
but on my allowance. Unless my dad chips in, I
couldn't afford much.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Walter. I have a suggestion for a gift that your
dad will be happy to tip in for. Just look
at the center of this table.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Holy cow, is it alive?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Certainly not. It happens to be a woman's hat.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
A woman's hat.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You're joking, of course, joking nothing I'm wearing at the
school this morning.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Say that'll make a wonderful decoration for our dining room
table at home. My mother always likes to have something
gay and colorful in the center of the table.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
That's why I say it would make a wonderful decoration
for your dining room table at home.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Wait up, permitted, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Who's that?
Speaker 9 (06:21):
Sma texts Barton outy ma'am, howdy tax.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
You see me in a hurry?
Speaker 6 (06:28):
Ma'am?
Speaker 9 (06:29):
Why when I flagged you you was a barreland across
this campus like a dogie that just smelled a branding iron.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Well, it's not that bad, although I do have to
see mister Confin before class.
Speaker 9 (06:42):
Well, I Glory beat Us, Sam Houston.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
And Hallelujah to Dave Dallas. What's up, Chris Brooks?
Speaker 9 (06:52):
Have you any idea of the activity that's going on
up there now? Up for regions of your anatomy? What
skinn't be for a lizard if there ain't a sparrow
eating apples off in your scum.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
On?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I calm down, text, this is just a new style
of hat. A hat.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Well, you could have fooled me.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
By the way. Mother's Day is just around the corner.
Have you decided on the gift for your mother yet?
Speaker 9 (07:20):
I've been thinking a lot about that, miss Brooks, but
it's kind of tough to figure out what it pleased mom.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Maybe I can help you.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
I doubt it, ma'am. For Christmas, Pie and I got
her some brand new riding boots and stirrups. For her birthday,
we got her per chaps and steps, and in for
Easter we decked her out in a spanking new box
of saddles. So you see, she's got just about everything
a normal woman needs.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
A normal woman who's competing in a rodeo, you mean,
love text, A hat like the one I'm wearing would
make a lovely gift. And it's only ten.
Speaker 9 (07:58):
Dollars surious, flashy, missed books and Pine and I could
afford that much. But there's a couple of things that
have to be done to it first. For instance, well,
do you think he could.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Make two holes in it?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Holes?
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (08:12):
Uh huh, so's her ears could come through.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So her ears could come through. Text your mother must
have a very low forehead. Well, I wouldn't give it
to my mother, miss Books. I'd just be getting it
for my mother to give to Lucy. Lucy, she's our horse.
She sure will look beautiful in it. I'm sure she will.
Text you can pick up the hat of missus Davis's.
Speaker 9 (08:39):
Today today When would be a good time now, at.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
The same time you leave the ten dollars. But Daddy,
please be reasonable.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
There isn't time for me to pick out your mother's
day gear.
Speaker 10 (08:56):
I didn't ask you into my office to argue, Harriet,
you'd want to see your mother receive a nice presence.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I do, Daddy, and I'm getting her one with most
of my allowance.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
But your gift or is something else?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Again?
Speaker 5 (09:09):
She always expects something out standing.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Obviously she married me, didn't she?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yes? But about other things. She's pretty particular.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
I mean, well, I wouldn't mind selecting something.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
For you, but you always insist that I find a bargain.
Speaker 10 (09:30):
There's nothing wrong with being prugal, Harriet. It's a bit
come in.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Good morning, mister Conklin. Hello Harriet, him Miss Brook.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Hello, miss good grief.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Something has alighted on your hair stand there, Harriet, get
her net. Maybe we can trap it for our nature
study groups.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It happens to be a hat, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Very exciting, Miss Brook.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Now, if you'll excuse me, Daddy, very well.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
But i'll talk to you later, Miss Important.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
By Missus Brook, mister Conklin, knowing how fond of brevity
you are, I'll come right to the point of my
visit someday his Mother's Day. How would you like to
buy a hat like.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
This for missus conclor for Missus Conklin.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yes, don't you think she deserves something like this?
Speaker 10 (10:24):
Well, she has been a source of great irritation on occasion.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
No, no, I'm not interested, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
If I can sell one of these hats, it will
help get me out of debt, mister Conklin. Besides, it's
a real bargain.
Speaker 10 (10:39):
I'm sorry, I'm definitely not in the Did you say
a bargain, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yes, sir, much cheaper than you can get it on
the open market.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
Where did you get it?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Let's just say I have access, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
These hats aren't hot o the.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Thing in town. You mean stolen, No, sir, they're not stolen,
although you could call them a steel at ten dollars each.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Ten dollars for a few apples and a small sparrow.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It's evident, mister Conklin, that you haven't heard how meat
and fruit have gone up. But think of how exclusive
this hat is.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Well for my wife, it would have to be miss Brooks.
She has an absolute fanatic approach and on individualized apparel,
she wouldn't be caught dead in anything that even resembled
what someone else was wearing.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Mister Conklin, when it comes to this hat, I give
you my unqualified guarantee you do absolutely believe me she
won't be caught dead in it.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Writeth Cogate dental cream, cleaned your.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Breath, water toothpaste?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Why cleans your teeth?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Coldgate toothpaste clean your breath water toothpaste by clean your tee.
Coldgate dental cream cleaned your breath while it cleans your teeth,
and the cold Gateway stops tooth decay best. Yes, the
cold Gateway is the most thoroughly proved and accepted.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Home method of all hygiene known today.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating
with Coldgate dental creams helped stop more decay for more
people than ever before. Reported in Jennifers History, the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best. No other dentiferice, ammoniated or not,
offers such conclusive proof. And you should know that Coldgates,
(12:46):
while not mentioned by name, was the only toothpaste used
in the research on tooth decay, recently reported in Readers Digest.
So always follow the Cold Gateway to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
Brush your teeth with cold case, cold gate table, make
clean your broth.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Water toothpade far cleaned your teeth, and the Colgateway stop
tooth decay best.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well. By the time I was to meet mister Boynton
at lunch, I had sold three of the four hats.
Missus Davis had made up one to Walter Denton for
his mother to be used as a table centerpiece, one
to Tax Spartan for his horse to be used as
an eye shade, and one to mister Conklin for his
wife to be used, of all things, as a hat.
(13:44):
I had the sample hat on when mister Boynton came
over to our table.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Hello, miss Brooks. Sorry, I'm late. I couldn't get here
any sooner.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That's all right, mister Boynton. Put down your tray.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Notice anything different about me today?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Let's see.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Oh, for heaven's sake, I apologize for being late. You
want't to go to such lengths to chide me about it?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
To chide you?
Speaker 6 (14:10):
Well, yes, after all, this is a public eating place.
You shouldn't balance a dessert on your head.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Dessert, mister Boyton, this happens to be a hat.
Speaker 6 (14:23):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks. I'm afraid I dropped my cutlery.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
You should be more careful, mister. That knife might have
dented your meat loaf. Oh, I'm sorry I frightened you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
So I should be used to sites like this.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
When I was a kid, my mother always had some
fantastic creations around the house.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Really, how many brothers and sisters did you have.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
You mean?
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Well, may I remind you, mister Boynton, that Mother's Day
will soon be with us?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
So will my mother. Yes, she's coming down this afternoon
to stay through the weekend. Unfortunately Dad has to stay
home on business. But Mom and I are going to
have a high old time.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Have you made all of your plans for celebrating the holiday,
mister Biden.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
Yes, indeed. Oh, it's gonna be one mad world for
the both of us. I've got a four day itinerary
all map doog?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Oh what are you going to do?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
Well? On Thursday, I thought i'd show Mom the new
wing of our public library. Friday, well, we'll do the
Museum of Natural History, and Saturday we'll have a go
at the Botanical gardens.
Speaker 8 (15:36):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Well, there's not going to be any let up in
the evenings either. If we're not playing chess or checkers,
I'll whip out the old domino set. By the way,
can you think of anything that might add to the merriment,
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yes, but I think the Morgue is closed on weekends.
That is, I do have a suggestion that might be
quite a surprise for your mother.
Speaker 6 (16:06):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Why don't you get her a nice hat. You said
yourself that she used to like unique hat.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
I'm sorry, miss Brooks, I'm not interested.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Oh that's too bad, mister Boynton. It's a real bargain.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
Well, I'd like to get her something, of course, but
this is just out of did you say a bargain?
Where did you get the hat? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The truth is I'm disposing of them for missus Davis.
They're only ten dollars apiece.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
Ten dollars apiece.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Get your jaw out of the potatoes and I'll make it.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
I guess we could arrive at some sort of a deal,
Miss Brooks. But there's one thing of which I must
be certain. What's that well that my mother doesn't see
any other woman wearing a hat like it. Mom's a
fanatic on individualized apparel.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I'll sell her the very one I'm modeling today, mister Barton.
Bring her over to my place about eight thirty tonight
and we'll surprise her with it.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
All right, But you're sure now that she'll be the
only woman to have this particular hat.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
While she's in town. Your mother will be the only
woman scene wearing this particular hat.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Good, I'm gonna get myself in some dessert. Now, miss Brooks,
would you like me to bring something back for you?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yes, I would, mister Barton, I'd like a coke the
five cent size will do.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
Very well.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
That's all I want right now, mister Barton. Okay, oh here.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Thanks, I'll just be a Minimus Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Take your Time's forty. Somebody's got to teach him that
money isn't everything, especially my money power.
Speaker 10 (18:07):
Hello, miss Brooks, I thought i'd find you here. May
I speak with you for a moment? Oh of course,
mister Conkline, thank you, thank you. Now about that hat
I agreed to buy for my wife. I want it
to be a complete surprise. She mustn't see it until Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I'll say she mustn't. I mean it wouldn't be a
surprise if she did.
Speaker 10 (18:24):
Now, there's one important factor we overlooked in our discussion
this morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I neglected to give you my wife's measurements.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Well, i'll take them right now. How far apart are
your wife's ears?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
How far apart are her ears?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Sorry that was another customer. What is her head size?
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Well?
Speaker 10 (18:51):
I don't know, but i'll find out this afternoon and
check with you at home this evening.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
What would be a good.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Time after midnight, that is, anytime, anytime at all. Now
you must have many more important things to do, and
I'll be happy to excuse you, sir, if you really
have to dash away. I know how those things are.
I've had things to do myself. I'm expecting the money.
Speaker 10 (19:13):
I don't comprehend this conversational Saint bitus dance you're indulged in.
But if you're always this nervous during meal time, it's
a wonder you haven't got an ulcer.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Oh, I had an ulcer mister conference, and I had
a nice big one two years after I began teaching school.
You did?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
How did you get rid of it?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I just couldn't afford to keep it.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
I don't know what you're so jittery about, Connie. Everything's
gone swimmingly so far. Walter Denton picked up the hat
for his mother during lunch period.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
I know missus David hits Barton came over.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Right after school to get this specially prepared. When you
phoned me about my goodness that his mother just have
long ears.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
You want to see his mother's name? I mean, those
aren't the ones I'm jiggery about. It's mister Conklin and
mister Boynton. I promised them both that they were buying
a completely original creation.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Will they are that kindie? The fact that they're identical
shouldn't bother you. After all, Missus Boynton will be leaving
town right after Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Yeah, but mister Boynton's bringing her here to night to
pick it up. And mister Conklin will want his wife's
hat as soon as he gives me her measurement. But
if he runs into Missus Boynton anywhere before Sunday.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Now, I'll come down here. Come down, then? Do you
expect to Boynton?
Speaker 8 (20:37):
Now?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Now?
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Well, I'll go make some tea and you let them in.
Missus Boynton's hat is right on the hall table, Donnie.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Thanks, well, here we are, miss Bruts. You remember my mother?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I'll never forget hello, Missus Boynton. Come in for a second,
how I Connie, it's been interest since I've seen you.
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Huh. Mom couldn't wait to see her surprise, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Oh, then I'll get it for her right away. Meanwhile,
I'll just help yourself to some fruit on this hall table.
That is, as soon as the sparrow gets through helping
himself that here's your new half. How do you like it? Well,
it's certainly different. Oh, I knew you'd love it. Well,
now that you've seen it. I don't want to keep
you and mister Boyton in another minute. You must have
(21:26):
lots to talk over, so don't stand on ceremonies. Just
toddle right along and I'll see you later in the week.
Speaker 8 (21:31):
Bye.
Speaker 10 (21:33):
Well, really, no great rush, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
As a matter of fact, Jilli suggested that we might
spend the evening with you.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Oops.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
I told Mommy you'd jump with the idea.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I thought we'd play a few games of checkers. Connie,
I'll never forget how exciting it was the last time
we played. There was one crowning after another. You ain't
seen nothing yet, alright, I can't ask you to stay
for checkers, Missus Boynton. Missus Davis has a splitting headache.
Speaker 6 (22:05):
But miss Brooks, how could a game of checkers disturb
Missus Davis?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Please, mister Boynton, if you were lying down with a headache,
how would you like to hear someone constantly jumping in
the next room. That's the doorbell, isn't it. Maybe Miss
Brooks has another engagement. Philip pretps, we'd better be eaving.
I wouldn't think of letting you budge from this house,
mister Boynton. I insist that you take your mother into
the living room and let her try on her checkerboard.
(22:30):
A fruit bowl here, take it with you, dear. There's
a wonderful mirror near the piano. Well, if you're sure,
never been surer, go along, mister Boynton.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
Oh, very well, it's right this way, mother.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Hims Brooks, Walter, what are you doing here? It's twelve
hours until breakfast.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
You don't have to.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
Bring the hat back, mister Boks. Aren't you gonna ask
me in? Not?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
If I can help it.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
We'll only be a minute. It's important, all.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Right, but please hurry. What's the trouble, Walter?
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Well, I showed my dad this hat you sold us
for a centerpiece, Miss.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Brooks, and he didn't like it.
Speaker 7 (23:14):
Well, he's crazy about it, but he wants a slight
change made. He says, if you'll wire it up so
we can use it as a lamp, he'll give you
an extra three dollars.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
If you'll make it five dollars, I'll put in the
motor and you can drive it.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
To work.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Get into the dining room immediately take the hat with
you quick.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Yeah, but I'll explain later.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Get going, okay, but I wish I know it.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Was happening around here.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Good evening, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Well, I've got my wife's head measurements on this sheet
of paper.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Thanks, mister Conklin. Good night.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
The moment.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
There are a few things I have to.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Tell you, Yes, sir, come in, okay.
Speaker 10 (24:00):
I got these measurements from the milliner, with whom my
wife does quite a large business.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
Mom would like to drink of water. Oh, how well,
mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I'll get it myself if you just tell me. Oh,
I didn't know someone was with you, Connie, Oh there isn't.
It's just mister Conklin. This is missus Boynton. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What is she doing with my wife's hat on our head?
Your wife's hat, mister.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Conklor, Philip.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
You didn't buy me the same hat, mister Conklin, But for.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
His wife, did you?
Speaker 6 (24:34):
I didn't intend to him whether miss Brooks what seems
to have happened shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Happen to her Sparrow. There's been a slight mix up,
But I'm sure it'll come out all right by Mother's Day.
After all, there are only two of you wearing the hats,
and you won't be seen together any play. Well, that's
true enough.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
You do have a point there.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
There's no air in that dining room, Miss Brooks. I
didn't know you had company.
Speaker 6 (24:58):
Oh this is what and one of our pupils mother?
Well that this is my mother.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
You will do the same here, Missus Boyton, I say,
what are you.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Doing with my mother's centerpiece on your head?
Speaker 6 (25:15):
Your mother's centerpiece?
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Denton.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yeah, my dad and I are gonna have a change
into a lamp before we give it to her, though.
She will put the wire right through here and.
Speaker 8 (25:26):
Then we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Oh, miss bro my wife and Missus Boynton are the
only two people with.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
These original creations.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I'd give a lot to know just who else is
wearing these assembly lines?
Speaker 6 (25:37):
Facial?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Who is it?
Speaker 6 (25:52):
What is there? It sounded like a horse, That's just
what it is.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Is our milkman's horse. You see. The milkman is sick.
So the horse is making the rounds along screen today. Lucy,
she's very clever.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
You must be ring the doorbell by herself. And this
Brooks opened the door. Yes, sir, how did miss Brooks?
Lucy and I are used to open bicle. I thought
i'd show you how nice she looks in her new bondy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Like you shouldn't have brought her right up to the
front door like this.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
What is going on here?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Why is this beast sticking her head?
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (26:44):
God?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Even she's wearing my wife, my mother's hat.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
You mean they got the same hat she sold me
for Lucy.
Speaker 9 (27:05):
Miss Brooks, yes, text but inoxy if i'dn't known that
I had never bought it.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Lucy's a fanatic.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And individualized apperil I know this, Brooks.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
Just what you propose to do about these hats?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I'm going to take them out to our backyard and
put them up in the tree.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
A tree.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yes, these hats are strictly for the bird.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You garden the terms in just a moment.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Now, the case of the close scrape featuring Arthur Griffin
mail carrier. Here's what mister Griffin told us. Listen, here's
exactly what happened. Shaving was just one close scrape after
another from me, And then I discovered pamelive leather shaved
cream and a new different way to shave Palm Olive's
oceans of which thick lather ended my worries about scrapes,
(28:02):
burns and knicks. Why, even in cold or hard water,
that Pamlive latherway is super smooth, super comfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Take Arthur Griffin's advice.
Speaker 6 (28:11):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
The new Pa Malive latherway gets beards really soft, and
it provides a protective film that actually floats your razor's
cutting edge. You get a clean, close shave every time
without worry about scraping or nicking.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Even in cold or hard water.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Arthur Griffin and twelve hundred other men tested Pomlive lather
cream following package directions, and three out of four reported smoother,
more comfortable shaves the Pamlive shaved cream way. No matter
how they shaved before, better get Pamalive Lather shaved cream.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Remember, even in cold or hard water.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
The Pamlive latherway means smoother, more comfortable shaves.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
A Now, once again, here is e Varden.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What would you do to protect your family and yourself
in case of a sudden atom bomb attack? It may
never happen, but it could. Remember, you can survive an
atom bomb attack if you know what to do. Get
a copy of the official air raid instructions from your
local civil defense organization, or write to Superintendent of Documents, Washington,
(29:22):
d c enclosing five cents in coin or stance. Learn
the instructions by heart and see that everyone in your
family does too. Be smart, be prepared.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
This is words Press the one between.
Speaker 6 (29:36):
Of next week.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
One other armist book Job rot pbout How a child
breams your shoulder more comfortable way to save and cold
air evilgream to clean your breast while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay. Our Miss Brooks, starring
e Barton, is produced by Larry Burns, written by Al
Lewis and Arthur Alsberg, with the music of Wilbur Hatch.
(30:00):
Listen to this with Marvellus Bell d e l You
can save ninety percent of dish washing work. A quick
soak and vell SuDS gets dishes and glassware shiny clean.
Even if a bit of food should cling, A touch
with a dishcloth gets rid of it fast. Yes, bells
activated SuDS lift off and carry away food and grease.
So all dishes need is a quick rinse and they
(30:22):
dry sparkling without washing or wiping. All pots and pans
need is a soaking with bell SuDS. Then you can
wash them shiny clean without hard scouring. What's more, Bell
is a miracle of mildness, So get new Bell.
Speaker 6 (30:36):
Save ninety percent of dish washing work.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Our Miss Brooks came to you transcribed
Colgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Palmy Shave
Creams for a smoother, more comfortable way to shave.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Bring you ar, Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. It's time once.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Again for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks under
the direction of al lewis Well. In the daily life
of our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School,
teaching itself only takes up a portion of her time.
This leaves a number of free hours each day to
pursue an outside interest.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But it doesn't leave quite enough free hours, especially since
my outside interest refuses to stand still long enough for
me to drop a netto brim. In fact, lately I've
even considered taking up another outside activity besides mister Boynton,
like the one my Landlady began recently. Missus Davis was
(00:59):
quite reticent about her hobby until last Wednesday morning at breakfast,
when she gave me a broad hint.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Notice anything different about the table this morning, Connie, Well.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
The big cats have stained in front of my place
is gone.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
It's under your egg cup, dear, Yes again.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Oh, of course, the big bowl of apples in the center.
What a delicious display.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I'm glad you like it, Connie, it's a hat?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Who designed it? William? Tell you know?
Speaker 4 (01:37):
I did. You probably don't know this, but years ago
I used to design hats like mad.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Why you mad? Hat?
Speaker 5 (01:45):
Are you?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I never would have suspected you? Seem so normal in
some other respects.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Well, I haven't had the yin in years, but last
week my brother Victor sent me some samples of the
material his ferm makes. And you know my brother Victor,
don't you.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I've heard you speak of him quite often.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
He's a peculiar man, victim, rather a slow moving type
of fellow, but once he gets interested in something, he follows.
Right through the last couple of years, he's been up
to his ears in plastics.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
No wonder he's slow moving. But what has plastic got
to do with your designing hats? Again?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
That's what they're made of. I'll bet you never even
noticed that this is really two hats in one, two
in one, yes, or in this way it looks like
a bowl of apples that when you turn it around
like this, it's a sparrow.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Well, what a novel idea? If you're out with a
man you like, you tempt him with an apple, and
if your date is a drip, he gets the birds.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
I've got four.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Of them all made up so far. They should be
easy to sail. With Mother's Day coming this Sunday.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Well, I don't know, missus Davis. They're a bit unusual
for popular consumption, I'm afraid not.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
If they're presented right, Connie. And that's where you come in.
I want you to help me sell them at school.
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Me.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Yes, if you sell all four of them, I'll deduct
half of the back rank you owe me. And it
shouldn't be difficult to sell them. It isn't as if
they were hard to move, not if.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
The wind is right. Of course, if I could reduce
my debt to you. Oh that must be Walter Denton.
He's driving me down to school.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Come on in, Walter, try to sell him one for
his mother. Connie. I'll get into the kitchen and rustle
up some goodies for Walter's inner man.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Better get some for his outer man too.
Speaker 7 (03:46):
Please to the rightest tarn Is scholastic firmament.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's a little early for me to twinkle, Walter. But
sit down, you're gonna have a bit of breakfast with us,
aren't you? Well?
Speaker 7 (03:59):
I might be for sway did to partake of a
wee morsel if he coax me?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
And if I don't coax.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
You, you couldn't be that cruel.
Speaker 8 (04:10):
All right?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Then? What'll it be? French toast, eggs, griggle cake?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Fine? Missus?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Davis Walter's here, vacuum the kitchen and bring in the.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Bag shop a giant omelet for him.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Dear, he's the little giant that can eat it.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
You know, I don't know what's happening at home, but
my mother just doesn't seem to be making the breakfast
she used to.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Well, maybe she's just worn out.
Speaker 5 (04:41):
Well, she does cook an offil our meals for us, of.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Course she does, Walter. And while we're on the subject,
how much thought have you given to her Mother's day gift?
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Quite a bit.
Speaker 7 (04:51):
And I've come up with something that should show her
how grateful I am for all she's done for me.
I'm gonna get her a present that'll make her forget
the many menial in our you was passed, she performs
in my behalf.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
What's the present?
Speaker 7 (05:04):
A bottle of sweet air for the kitchen. What do
you think the idea, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
It smells I mean, it smells very pleasant.
Speaker 7 (05:15):
Of course I'd like to get her something else too,
but on my allowance. Unless my dad chips in, I
couldn't afford much.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Walter. I have a suggestion for a gift that your
dad will be happy to tip in for. Just look
at the center of this table.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Holy cow, is it alive?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Certainly not. It happens to be a woman's hat.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
A woman's hat.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You're joking, of course, joking nothing I'm wearing at the
school this morning.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Say that'll make a wonderful decoration for our dining room
table at home. My mother always likes to have something
gay and colorful in the center of the table.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
That's why I say it would make a wonderful decoration
for your dining room table at home.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Wait up, permitted, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Who's that?
Speaker 9 (06:21):
Sma texts Barton outy ma'am, howdy tax.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
You see me in a hurry?
Speaker 6 (06:28):
Ma'am?
Speaker 9 (06:29):
Why when I flagged you you was a barreland across
this campus like a dogie that just smelled a branding iron.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Well, it's not that bad, although I do have to
see mister Confin before class.
Speaker 9 (06:42):
Well, I Glory beat Us, Sam Houston.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
And Hallelujah to Dave Dallas. What's up, Chris Brooks?
Speaker 9 (06:52):
Have you any idea of the activity that's going on
up there now? Up for regions of your anatomy? What
skinn't be for a lizard if there ain't a sparrow
eating apples off in your scum.
Speaker 6 (07:06):
On?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I calm down, text, this is just a new style
of hat. A hat.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Well, you could have fooled me.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
By the way. Mother's Day is just around the corner.
Have you decided on the gift for your mother yet?
Speaker 9 (07:20):
I've been thinking a lot about that, miss Brooks, but
it's kind of tough to figure out what it pleased mom.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Maybe I can help you.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
I doubt it, ma'am. For Christmas, Pie and I got
her some brand new riding boots and stirrups. For her birthday,
we got her per chaps and steps, and in for
Easter we decked her out in a spanking new box
of saddles. So you see, she's got just about everything
a normal woman needs.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
A normal woman who's competing in a rodeo, you mean,
love text, A hat like the one I'm wearing would
make a lovely gift. And it's only ten.
Speaker 9 (07:58):
Dollars surious, flashy, missed books and Pine and I could
afford that much. But there's a couple of things that
have to be done to it first. For instance, well,
do you think he could.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Make two holes in it?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Holes?
Speaker 4 (08:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (08:12):
Uh huh, so's her ears could come through.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So her ears could come through. Text your mother must
have a very low forehead. Well, I wouldn't give it
to my mother, miss Books. I'd just be getting it
for my mother to give to Lucy. Lucy, she's our horse.
She sure will look beautiful in it. I'm sure she will.
Text you can pick up the hat of missus Davis's.
Speaker 9 (08:39):
Today today When would be a good time now, at.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
The same time you leave the ten dollars. But Daddy,
please be reasonable.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
There isn't time for me to pick out your mother's
day gear.
Speaker 10 (08:56):
I didn't ask you into my office to argue, Harriet,
you'd want to see your mother receive a nice presence.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I do, Daddy, and I'm getting her one with most
of my allowance.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
But your gift or is something else?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Again?
Speaker 5 (09:09):
She always expects something out standing.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Obviously she married me, didn't she?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yes? But about other things. She's pretty particular.
Speaker 7 (09:24):
I mean, well, I wouldn't mind selecting something.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
For you, but you always insist that I find a bargain.
Speaker 10 (09:30):
There's nothing wrong with being prugal, Harriet. It's a bit
come in.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Good morning, mister Conklin. Hello Harriet, him Miss Brook.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Hello, miss good grief.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Something has alighted on your hair stand there, Harriet, get
her net. Maybe we can trap it for our nature
study groups.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It happens to be a hat, mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Very exciting, Miss Brook.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Now, if you'll excuse me, Daddy, very well.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
But i'll talk to you later, Miss Important.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
By Missus Brook, mister Conklin, knowing how fond of brevity
you are, I'll come right to the point of my
visit someday his Mother's Day. How would you like to
buy a hat like.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
This for missus conclor for Missus Conklin.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yes, don't you think she deserves something like this?
Speaker 10 (10:24):
Well, she has been a source of great irritation on occasion.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
No, no, I'm not interested, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
If I can sell one of these hats, it will
help get me out of debt, mister Conklin. Besides, it's
a real bargain.
Speaker 10 (10:39):
I'm sorry, I'm definitely not in the Did you say
a bargain, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Yes, sir, much cheaper than you can get it on
the open market.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
Where did you get it?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Let's just say I have access, mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
These hats aren't hot o the.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Thing in town. You mean stolen, No, sir, they're not stolen,
although you could call them a steel at ten dollars each.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Ten dollars for a few apples and a small sparrow.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
It's evident, mister Conklin, that you haven't heard how meat
and fruit have gone up. But think of how exclusive
this hat is.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Well for my wife, it would have to be miss Brooks.
She has an absolute fanatic approach and on individualized apparel,
she wouldn't be caught dead in anything that even resembled
what someone else was wearing.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Mister Conklin, when it comes to this hat, I give
you my unqualified guarantee you do absolutely believe me she
won't be caught dead in it.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Writeth Cogate dental cream, cleaned your.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
Breath, water toothpaste?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Why cleans your teeth?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Coldgate toothpaste clean your breath water toothpaste by clean your tee.
Coldgate dental cream cleaned your breath while it cleans your teeth,
and the cold Gateway stops tooth decay best. Yes, the
cold Gateway is the most thoroughly proved and accepted.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Home method of all hygiene known today.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Over two years research showed brushing teeth right after eating
with Coldgate dental creams helped stop more decay for more
people than ever before. Reported in Jennifers History, the cold
Gateway stop tooth decay best. No other dentiferice, ammoniated or not,
offers such conclusive proof. And you should know that Coldgates,
(12:46):
while not mentioned by name, was the only toothpaste used
in the research on tooth decay, recently reported in Readers Digest.
So always follow the Cold Gateway to clean your breath
while you clean your teeth and.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Stop tooth decay best.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
Brush your teeth with cold case, cold gate table, make
clean your broth.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Water toothpade far cleaned your teeth, and the Colgateway stop
tooth decay best.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well. By the time I was to meet mister Boynton
at lunch, I had sold three of the four hats.
Missus Davis had made up one to Walter Denton for
his mother to be used as a table centerpiece, one
to Tax Spartan for his horse to be used as
an eye shade, and one to mister Conklin for his
wife to be used, of all things, as a hat.
(13:44):
I had the sample hat on when mister Boynton came
over to our table.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Hello, miss Brooks. Sorry, I'm late. I couldn't get here
any sooner.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
That's all right, mister Boynton. Put down your tray.
Speaker 6 (13:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Notice anything different about me today?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Let's see.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Oh, for heaven's sake, I apologize for being late. You
want't to go to such lengths to chide me about it?
Speaker 3 (14:08):
To chide you?
Speaker 6 (14:10):
Well, yes, after all, this is a public eating place.
You shouldn't balance a dessert on your head.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Dessert, mister Boyton, this happens to be a hat.
Speaker 6 (14:23):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks. I'm afraid I dropped my cutlery.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
You should be more careful, mister. That knife might have
dented your meat loaf. Oh, I'm sorry I frightened you.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
So I should be used to sites like this.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
When I was a kid, my mother always had some
fantastic creations around the house.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Really, how many brothers and sisters did you have.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
You mean?
Speaker 3 (14:56):
Well, may I remind you, mister Boynton, that Mother's Day
will soon be with us?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
So will my mother. Yes, she's coming down this afternoon
to stay through the weekend. Unfortunately Dad has to stay
home on business. But Mom and I are going to
have a high old time.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Have you made all of your plans for celebrating the holiday,
mister Biden.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
Yes, indeed. Oh, it's gonna be one mad world for
the both of us. I've got a four day itinerary
all map doog?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Oh what are you going to do?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
Well? On Thursday, I thought i'd show Mom the new
wing of our public library. Friday, well, we'll do the
Museum of Natural History, and Saturday we'll have a go
at the Botanical gardens.
Speaker 8 (15:36):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Well, there's not going to be any let up in
the evenings either. If we're not playing chess or checkers,
I'll whip out the old domino set. By the way,
can you think of anything that might add to the merriment,
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Yes, but I think the Morgue is closed on weekends.
That is, I do have a suggestion that might be
quite a surprise for your mother.
Speaker 6 (16:06):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Why don't you get her a nice hat. You said
yourself that she used to like unique hat.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
I'm sorry, miss Brooks, I'm not interested.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Oh that's too bad, mister Boynton. It's a real bargain.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
Well, I'd like to get her something, of course, but
this is just out of did you say a bargain?
Where did you get the hat? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
The truth is I'm disposing of them for missus Davis.
They're only ten dollars apiece.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
Ten dollars apiece.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Get your jaw out of the potatoes and I'll make it.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
I guess we could arrive at some sort of a deal,
Miss Brooks. But there's one thing of which I must
be certain. What's that well that my mother doesn't see
any other woman wearing a hat like it. Mom's a
fanatic on individualized apparel.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I'll sell her the very one I'm modeling today, mister Barton.
Bring her over to my place about eight thirty tonight
and we'll surprise her with it.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
All right, But you're sure now that she'll be the
only woman to have this particular hat.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
While she's in town. Your mother will be the only
woman scene wearing this particular hat.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Good, I'm gonna get myself in some dessert. Now, miss Brooks,
would you like me to bring something back for you?
Speaker 3 (17:22):
Yes, I would, mister Barton, I'd like a coke the
five cent size will do.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
Very well.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
That's all I want right now, mister Barton. Okay, oh here.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Thanks, I'll just be a Minimus Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Take your Time's forty. Somebody's got to teach him that
money isn't everything, especially my money power.
Speaker 10 (18:07):
Hello, miss Brooks, I thought i'd find you here. May
I speak with you for a moment? Oh of course,
mister Conkline, thank you, thank you. Now about that hat
I agreed to buy for my wife. I want it
to be a complete surprise. She mustn't see it until Sunday.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I'll say she mustn't. I mean it wouldn't be a
surprise if she did.
Speaker 10 (18:24):
Now, there's one important factor we overlooked in our discussion
this morning, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I neglected to give you my wife's measurements.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Well, i'll take them right now. How far apart are
your wife's ears?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
How far apart are her ears?
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Sorry that was another customer. What is her head size?
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Well?
Speaker 10 (18:51):
I don't know, but i'll find out this afternoon and
check with you at home this evening.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
What would be a good.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Time after midnight, that is, anytime, anytime at all. Now
you must have many more important things to do, and
I'll be happy to excuse you, sir, if you really
have to dash away. I know how those things are.
I've had things to do myself. I'm expecting the money.
Speaker 10 (19:13):
I don't comprehend this conversational Saint bitus dance you're indulged in.
But if you're always this nervous during meal time, it's
a wonder you haven't got an ulcer.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Oh, I had an ulcer mister conference, and I had
a nice big one two years after I began teaching school.
You did?
Speaker 2 (19:29):
How did you get rid of it?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I just couldn't afford to keep it.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
I don't know what you're so jittery about, Connie. Everything's
gone swimmingly so far. Walter Denton picked up the hat
for his mother during lunch period.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
I know missus David hits Barton came over.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Right after school to get this specially prepared. When you
phoned me about my goodness that his mother just have
long ears.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
You want to see his mother's name? I mean, those
aren't the ones I'm jiggery about. It's mister Conklin and
mister Boynton. I promised them both that they were buying
a completely original creation.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Will they are that kindie? The fact that they're identical
shouldn't bother you. After all, Missus Boynton will be leaving
town right after Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Yeah, but mister Boynton's bringing her here to night to
pick it up. And mister Conklin will want his wife's
hat as soon as he gives me her measurement. But
if he runs into Missus Boynton anywhere before Sunday.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Now, I'll come down here. Come down, then? Do you
expect to Boynton?
Speaker 8 (20:37):
Now?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Now?
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Well, I'll go make some tea and you let them in.
Missus Boynton's hat is right on the hall table, Donnie.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Thanks, well, here we are, miss Bruts. You remember my mother?
Speaker 3 (20:54):
I'll never forget hello, Missus Boynton. Come in for a second,
how I Connie, it's been interest since I've seen you.
Speaker 6 (21:02):
Huh. Mom couldn't wait to see her surprise, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Oh, then I'll get it for her right away. Meanwhile,
I'll just help yourself to some fruit on this hall table.
That is, as soon as the sparrow gets through helping
himself that here's your new half. How do you like it? Well,
it's certainly different. Oh, I knew you'd love it. Well,
now that you've seen it. I don't want to keep
you and mister Boyton in another minute. You must have
(21:26):
lots to talk over, so don't stand on ceremonies. Just
toddle right along and I'll see you later in the week.
Speaker 8 (21:31):
Bye.
Speaker 10 (21:33):
Well, really, no great rush, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
As a matter of fact, Jilli suggested that we might
spend the evening with you.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Oops.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
I told Mommy you'd jump with the idea.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I thought we'd play a few games of checkers. Connie,
I'll never forget how exciting it was the last time
we played. There was one crowning after another. You ain't
seen nothing yet, alright, I can't ask you to stay
for checkers, Missus Boynton. Missus Davis has a splitting headache.
Speaker 6 (22:05):
But miss Brooks, how could a game of checkers disturb
Missus Davis?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Please, mister Boynton, if you were lying down with a headache,
how would you like to hear someone constantly jumping in
the next room. That's the doorbell, isn't it. Maybe Miss
Brooks has another engagement. Philip pretps, we'd better be eaving.
I wouldn't think of letting you budge from this house,
mister Boynton. I insist that you take your mother into
the living room and let her try on her checkerboard.
(22:30):
A fruit bowl here, take it with you, dear. There's
a wonderful mirror near the piano. Well, if you're sure,
never been surer, go along, mister Boynton.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
Oh, very well, it's right this way, mother.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Hims Brooks, Walter, what are you doing here? It's twelve
hours until breakfast.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
You don't have to.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
Bring the hat back, mister Boks. Aren't you gonna ask
me in? Not?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
If I can help it.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
We'll only be a minute. It's important, all.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Right, but please hurry. What's the trouble, Walter?
Speaker 7 (23:09):
Well, I showed my dad this hat you sold us
for a centerpiece, Miss.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Brooks, and he didn't like it.
Speaker 7 (23:14):
Well, he's crazy about it, but he wants a slight
change made. He says, if you'll wire it up so
we can use it as a lamp, he'll give you
an extra three dollars.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
If you'll make it five dollars, I'll put in the
motor and you can drive it.
Speaker 6 (23:30):
To work.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Get into the dining room immediately take the hat with
you quick.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Yeah, but I'll explain later.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Get going, okay, but I wish I know it.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
Was happening around here.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Good evening, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Well, I've got my wife's head measurements on this sheet
of paper.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Thanks, mister Conklin. Good night.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
The moment.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
There are a few things I have to.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Tell you, Yes, sir, come in, okay.
Speaker 10 (24:00):
I got these measurements from the milliner, with whom my
wife does quite a large business.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
Mom would like to drink of water. Oh, how well,
mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I'll get it myself if you just tell me. Oh,
I didn't know someone was with you, Connie, Oh there isn't.
It's just mister Conklin. This is missus Boynton. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What is she doing with my wife's hat on our head?
Your wife's hat, mister.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Conklor, Philip.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
You didn't buy me the same hat, mister Conklin, But for.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
His wife, did you?
Speaker 6 (24:34):
I didn't intend to him whether miss Brooks what seems
to have happened shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Happen to her Sparrow. There's been a slight mix up,
But I'm sure it'll come out all right by Mother's Day.
After all, there are only two of you wearing the hats,
and you won't be seen together any play. Well, that's
true enough.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
You do have a point there.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
There's no air in that dining room, Miss Brooks. I
didn't know you had company.
Speaker 6 (24:58):
Oh this is what and one of our pupils mother?
Well that this is my mother.
Speaker 7 (25:02):
You will do the same here, Missus Boyton, I say,
what are you.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Doing with my mother's centerpiece on your head?
Speaker 6 (25:15):
Your mother's centerpiece?
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Denton.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yeah, my dad and I are gonna have a change
into a lamp before we give it to her, though.
She will put the wire right through here and.
Speaker 8 (25:26):
Then we'll talk.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Oh, miss bro my wife and Missus Boynton are the
only two people with.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
These original creations.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I'd give a lot to know just who else is
wearing these assembly lines?
Speaker 6 (25:37):
Facial?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Who is it?
Speaker 6 (25:52):
What is there? It sounded like a horse, That's just
what it is.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Is our milkman's horse. You see. The milkman is sick.
So the horse is making the rounds along screen today. Lucy,
she's very clever.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
You must be ring the doorbell by herself. And this
Brooks opened the door. Yes, sir, how did miss Brooks?
Lucy and I are used to open bicle. I thought
i'd show you how nice she looks in her new bondy.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Like you shouldn't have brought her right up to the
front door like this.
Speaker 6 (26:40):
What is going on here?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Why is this beast sticking her head?
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (26:44):
God?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Even she's wearing my wife, my mother's hat.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
You mean they got the same hat she sold me
for Lucy.
Speaker 9 (27:05):
Miss Brooks, yes, text but inoxy if i'dn't known that
I had never bought it.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Lucy's a fanatic.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
And individualized apperil I know this, Brooks.
Speaker 6 (27:16):
Just what you propose to do about these hats?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I'm going to take them out to our backyard and
put them up in the tree.
Speaker 6 (27:23):
A tree.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Yes, these hats are strictly for the bird.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You garden the terms in just a moment.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Now, the case of the close scrape featuring Arthur Griffin
mail carrier. Here's what mister Griffin told us. Listen, here's
exactly what happened. Shaving was just one close scrape after
another from me, And then I discovered pamelive leather shaved
cream and a new different way to shave Palm Olive's
oceans of which thick lather ended my worries about scrapes,
(28:02):
burns and knicks. Why, even in cold or hard water,
that Pamlive latherway is super smooth, super comfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Take Arthur Griffin's advice.
Speaker 6 (28:11):
Man.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
The new Pa Malive latherway gets beards really soft, and
it provides a protective film that actually floats your razor's
cutting edge. You get a clean, close shave every time
without worry about scraping or nicking.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Even in cold or hard water.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Arthur Griffin and twelve hundred other men tested Pomlive lather
cream following package directions, and three out of four reported smoother,
more comfortable shaves the Pamlive shaved cream way. No matter
how they shaved before, better get Pamalive Lather shaved cream.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Remember, even in cold or hard water.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
The Pamlive latherway means smoother, more comfortable shaves.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
A Now, once again, here is e Varden.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
What would you do to protect your family and yourself
in case of a sudden atom bomb attack? It may
never happen, but it could. Remember, you can survive an
atom bomb attack if you know what to do. Get
a copy of the official air raid instructions from your
local civil defense organization, or write to Superintendent of Documents, Washington,
(29:22):
d c enclosing five cents in coin or stance. Learn
the instructions by heart and see that everyone in your
family does too. Be smart, be prepared.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
This is words Press the one between.
Speaker 6 (29:36):
Of next week.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
One other armist book Job rot pbout How a child
breams your shoulder more comfortable way to save and cold
air evilgream to clean your breast while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay. Our Miss Brooks, starring
e Barton, is produced by Larry Burns, written by Al
Lewis and Arthur Alsberg, with the music of Wilbur Hatch.
(30:00):
Listen to this with Marvellus Bell d e l You
can save ninety percent of dish washing work. A quick
soak and vell SuDS gets dishes and glassware shiny clean.
Even if a bit of food should cling, A touch
with a dishcloth gets rid of it fast. Yes, bells
activated SuDS lift off and carry away food and grease.
So all dishes need is a quick rinse and they
(30:22):
dry sparkling without washing or wiping. All pots and pans
need is a soaking with bell SuDS. Then you can
wash them shiny clean without hard scouring. What's more, Bell
is a miracle of mildness, So get new Bell.
Speaker 6 (30:36):
Save ninety percent of dish washing work.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Our Miss Brooks came to you transcribed
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