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August 3, 2025 • 29 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Holgates Devil cream to clean your breath while you clean.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Your teeth and help stop Tuesday, Kay and lost her
cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, grossible hair. Bring you ar
Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's time months again for another comedy episode.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Of ar Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well. Tuesday,
January third marks the end of the holidays and teachers
and pupils all over the country returned to their various
halls of learning.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Armis Brooks, who.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Teaches English at Madison High School, was discussing her vacation
with her landlady at breakfast last Tuesday.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
I take vacations in necessary sometimes, Connie. But now I
suppose you're looking forward to return to dear old Madison
High with considerable enthusiasms.

Speaker 5 (00:50):
Yes, indeed, Missus Davis, with all the enthusiasm of a
sailor returning to his dear old submarine. After a two
weeks vacation on ballet, ballet.

Speaker 4 (01:01):
You get back into the swing of no time, Connie,
he's bought Again't kicking you up this morning?

Speaker 6 (01:06):
Yes he is, and I hope he's on time. Our
beloved principle is designated today as Board of Education day.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Oh what sort of ceremony is mister Conklin's planning.

Speaker 5 (01:16):
Well, mister Stone, the head of the board, will be
there for his annual oiling, and mister Conklin will have
the whole school lined up on the campus. Some of
the students will even march past mister Stone carrying the flags.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Rare.

Speaker 6 (01:29):
He can't do any harm, Connie.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
The board might decide to get you teachers are raised
in the coming.

Speaker 6 (01:34):
Year, I hope. So then maybe next year we'll be
strong enough to carry the flag. I'll get it, be
right there.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
I'll kicked the dishes into the kitchen.

Speaker 6 (01:45):
All right, This is David He thanks for breakfast. Good morning, Walter.

Speaker 7 (01:50):
It's more than that, miss Brooks. This is the morning
when the glorious case of learning swing open a new
when the pantalyzing aroma of chalk and pencil shavings beckons
us all teachers and pupils alike to join hands and
mist the clanging of bells come gaily skipping back to
the black hole of Calcutta.

Speaker 6 (02:14):
So I WoT her I didn't know you had it
in you, and I wish you'd put it back. You
did have a nice vacation, didn't you.

Speaker 7 (02:24):
I'm sure I did, Miss Brooks. That is up to
last night, and then it was practically ruined by mister Conklin.
He ordered me to write an editorial for the Madison
Monitor on what the Board of Education means to me?

Speaker 6 (02:37):
Did you write it?

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Were?

Speaker 6 (02:38):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I did?

Speaker 7 (02:39):
But you know what a tyrant old marblehead can be
when it I mean, mister Conklin can be when.

Speaker 6 (02:44):
You cross him.

Speaker 7 (02:45):
But as a believer in freedom of the press, I
really gave that Board of Education.

Speaker 6 (02:50):
Both barrels, Walter, this is a new year. Don't you
think one barrel would have been enough?

Speaker 7 (02:56):
Giving us Monday off after New Year's Day and then
making us go to the school Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and
Friday is downright statistics.

Speaker 6 (03:04):
Well, it's better than not having Monday off, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Well?

Speaker 7 (03:06):
Sure, but it's not as good as having the rest
of the week off too.

Speaker 6 (03:11):
I with you there, Walter. It would also be nice
if they gave as February and March off, But that
is the way the board works. Well.

Speaker 7 (03:19):
Sometimes I doubt if they work at all. But it's
all in this editorial, Miss Brooks. Here I told mister Conklin,
you'd proof read it and bring it into his office
this morning. Me for sure, you're a faculty advisor to
the school paper, aren't You don't be nervous about.

Speaker 6 (03:34):
Handing it to him, Miss Brooks. Just touch it on
his desk. I can only do that if you'll agree
to do something for me.

Speaker 7 (03:40):
Oh, WA's that, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
Notify my next of kin.

Speaker 5 (03:46):
Look Walder, Mister Conklin wants to start the year off
with a spirit of cooperation.

Speaker 6 (03:51):
You'd better destroy this literary Frankenstein.

Speaker 7 (03:54):
Well I couldn't do that, Miss Brooks, but I'll think
it over run the way to school and maybe amend
some of my statements.

Speaker 6 (04:00):
Fine, now I'll just flip on my coat. We can
get going as well.

Speaker 7 (04:03):
My tale Stretch is waiting out in the car and
he's pretty brought down.

Speaker 6 (04:06):
Fret's no grass. What's the matter with him?

Speaker 7 (04:08):
Well, you know what a great athlete Stretch is. He
can pick up any sport in a second, but he
can't seem to absorb much with his brain. He's afraid
that during the holidays he forgot everything he learned all term.

Speaker 6 (04:20):
You know what I mean. I know exactly what you mean.
The alphabet.

Speaker 7 (04:33):
So go ahead, stretch. Tell miss Brooks what's bothering you.
She might be able to help you out.

Speaker 6 (04:38):
I'll certainly try, stretch. What's your immediate problem?

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Everything good?

Speaker 6 (04:44):
As long as you've got it localized, I can help you.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
I mean everything at school, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 8 (04:49):
You see, I just got to stay eligible for basketball.
Mister Boyton says, I gotta take a biology test pretty.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Soon, and I forgot so much to our vacation.

Speaker 8 (04:57):
I'm afraid I'm just not no good at no biology more.

Speaker 5 (05:03):
Stretch, it is incorrect to use a double negative in
the sentence.

Speaker 6 (05:07):
You just used four of them.

Speaker 8 (05:10):
Oh, then what I said was okay, huh. Yeah, I'm
so glad I didn't forget none of my English, like
I forgot about my animals in biology. Gosh, I used
to know my animals like I.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Know my A beat, my A beat teens.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
I was right about the alphabet.

Speaker 7 (05:31):
I guess you were. Go on, stretch, tell Miss Brooks
some more about the test.

Speaker 8 (05:35):
Well, I think it's going to be mostly about birds
and monkeys and stuff like that.

Speaker 6 (05:39):
The like where.

Speaker 8 (05:42):
I got to know the names of the different kind
of baboons, which I used to know.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Real good but I forgot.

Speaker 5 (05:46):
Well, don't worry about it, Stretch. If you want me to,
I'll meet you after school and review your lessons with you.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Well that'd be keen, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 8 (05:54):
Gosh, I'll bet even the babboons know the names of
all the other baboons.

Speaker 6 (05:58):
Well, don't worry about that, e.

Speaker 5 (06:00):
If you just concentrate and spend the next couple of
years studying, you will be as smart as any other baboon.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I've summoned you to my office, Miss Brookes, to inform
you of the fact that at one o'clock mister Stone
is due to arrive, so promptly at twelve fifty five,
the students and faculty will line up outside between the
old cannon and the flag pole. Yes, sir, then I
will greet mister Stone and read aloud the editorial which
is to appear in the next issue of the Madison Monitor. Oh,
the editorial, I am not finished, Miss Brooks. The editorial

(06:38):
is called what the Board of Education Means to Me
and was written by Walter Denton. Now, as you know,
I am not overly fond of young Denton, but as
my daughter Harriet pointed out to me, he does get
off some good editorials.

Speaker 6 (06:52):
He gets off some pips.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
But mister Canton, I said, you've delivered this one to
me after proof reading it. Miss Brooks, may I have
please have it?

Speaker 5 (07:01):
Please, But mister Conklin, I haven't got it, and Nita
has Walter he told me he lost it on the
way to school today.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Lost it. That's out of the question. He's just trying
to do later.

Speaker 6 (07:10):
Conklin, if you're going.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
To use an editorial as a welcoming speech, you should
write it yourself.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Me.

Speaker 6 (07:15):
Of course, you're a master of the editorial form.

Speaker 5 (07:19):
Why even your interclass communications are sheer poetry? They are,
personally they are if you sit right down at your desk,
mister Conklin, and start creating.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, I do have a way with words, I suppose, Yes, yes,
I've got the speech this morning and send it to
you at lunchtime, Miss Brooks, for proofreading. Not that you'll
find any grammatical errors, oh of course not. But correct
everyone you find. Or one more thing before you go.

(07:51):
I'd like some exciting conclusion to the ceremonies I've planned
on the campus, something that would really wind it up
in a spectacular manner.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Any suggestions, Well, you say, we're lining up between the
cannon and.

Speaker 6 (08:03):
The flag pole.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
That is correct.

Speaker 6 (08:05):
Then I think I've got just the idea for you,
mister Conklin.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Oh what is it, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (08:09):
Let's shoot Walter Denton out of the cannon, Ah, Miss.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
Brooks, Darling Lee Varden will continueing just the moment, But first,
here is Verne Smith now proof that brushing teeth right
after eating with Colgate dental cream helped stop tooth decay
before it's Darn's. Continuous research hundreds of case histories makes
this the most conclusive proof and all dentifrie research on
tooth decay. Eminent dental authorities who provised hundreds of college

(08:45):
men and women for over two years. One group always
brushed their teeth with Colgates right after eating. The other
followed their usual dental care. The group using Colgate dental
cream as directed. Using Colgates exclusively showed a startling reduction
and average number of cavity far less tooth decay. The
other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate.

(09:05):
No other dataprise offers proof of these results. Modern research
shows decay is caused by mouth acids, which are at
their worst right after eating. Brushing teeth with Coalgates is
directed helps remove acids before they harm enammyl. Yes, Coalgates
contains all the necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented ingredient
for effective daily dental care. So remember always use Colgate

(09:29):
dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your
teeth and help stop tooth decay.

Speaker 6 (09:41):
Well.

Speaker 5 (09:42):
All during my morning classes, I waited for mister Conkline's
epic essay what the Board of Education Means to Me?

Speaker 6 (09:48):
But when the epic.

Speaker 5 (09:49):
Didn't derive at noon, I decided to expose myself to
a luncheon invitation from mister Boynton and hurried towards the
biology laboratory, just.

Speaker 6 (09:58):
A few doors from my goal.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
I was in accepted by Madison's athletic Giants and mental
midget Stretch Snodgrass.

Speaker 8 (10:05):
Oh excuse me, miss Brooks, but could I see it.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
For a minute?

Speaker 6 (10:07):
I suppose, though, Stretch? What's on your what's new?

Speaker 8 (10:15):
Mister Conklin appointed me messenger of the day. That means
I'm supposed to deliver messages.

Speaker 6 (10:19):
Thanks, why did you want to see me about?

Speaker 8 (10:22):
Mister Conklin told me to deliver his Board of Education
speech to you during the lunch period.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
That's why I stopped you just now, why I ain't
got it?

Speaker 6 (10:30):
I haven't got it.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
I know you ain't got it. I'm supposed to give
it to you.

Speaker 6 (10:38):
Well, why ain't you got it?

Speaker 8 (10:42):
You ain't give it to me yet.

Speaker 5 (10:44):
One of us is getting nowhere in my English class.

Speaker 6 (10:48):
Now you'll excuse me, stretched.

Speaker 5 (10:49):
Or Truemus Brooks, just leave the speech in mister Bunton's
lab as soon as mister Conkline gives it to you.

Speaker 6 (10:54):
I've been anticipating this lunch and date for some time.

Speaker 8 (10:57):
Or Chemist Brooks, I'm sorry I held you up.

Speaker 6 (11:00):
That's all right.

Speaker 8 (11:00):
I didn't mean to take up so much of your time.

Speaker 6 (11:03):
It's all right, Fretch, I didn't know you were anticipating
so long stretch.

Speaker 9 (11:13):
Come in, well, miss Brooks, I'll be with you in
just a minute. I've been trying to correct this biology
test paper. It's an essay. Oh I can hardly make
out the name, so the writing is so illegible. Let's
see here. Could it be Snodgrass?

Speaker 6 (11:27):
What's the title of the essay?

Speaker 2 (11:29):
A Man's best friends is his animals.

Speaker 6 (11:32):
It's all right, listen to this.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Lovebirds is very nice.

Speaker 9 (11:38):
Pets as they don't never bother nobody hardly, but is
all the time busy making love.

Speaker 6 (11:46):
Isn't that terrible? You can't knock it to me, Yes,
it is pretty bad.

Speaker 9 (11:54):
Here's another paragraph. Babboons is pretty big and the mandril
is the biggest babboone of all.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
They make very nice.

Speaker 9 (12:00):
Pet says they don't never bother nobody hardly, but it's
all that time busy making love.

Speaker 5 (12:07):
He ought to change the title to an Animal's Best
Friend as his animals.

Speaker 6 (12:11):
You can finish that later, miss Boyn.

Speaker 9 (12:13):
Let's go to lunch very well, Miss Brooks, Yeah, I
hope we run into water Denton in the cafeteria. These
papers must have fallen out of his briefcase this morning.
I'd like to return them. Seems to be an editorial
for the school paper.

Speaker 6 (12:23):
Oh let's see that. H What the Board of Education
means to me?

Speaker 5 (12:27):
By Walter Denton. I'm glad I discovered this in time.
The faculty advisor to the paper, mister Conklin, would hold
me responsible for the most embarrassing incident that ever happened
in Madison.

Speaker 6 (12:37):
What do you mean, miss Brooks?

Speaker 3 (12:38):
What's in the editorial?

Speaker 5 (12:39):
Just a pint or two of Walter's spleens. It's a
blast of the board which I'm going to tear up
right now.

Speaker 9 (12:45):
Miss Brooks, Miss Brooks, just a minute, Look what you've done.
You've torn up stretchers essay along with the other one.

Speaker 6 (12:52):
Oh I'm sorry, mister Boyne. What were you planning to
do with it? Send it to the Congressional Library. Touch
deathless prose.

Speaker 5 (12:59):
Baboo, don't never bother nobody hardly, but is all the
time busy making love. But in my laughing that it
should happen to both of us this.

Speaker 6 (13:19):
Book, mister Borton.

Speaker 8 (13:21):
Oh, I guess they want to lunch. Well, I'll just
leave mister Conklin's speech on this desk.

Speaker 7 (13:25):
And by a stretch, I heard about the ceremonies we're
gonna have.

Speaker 8 (13:28):
Yeah, water, mister Stone's coming down and we all gotta
line up and greet them.

Speaker 7 (13:32):
And boy, is he gonna get a greeting. I'm cooking
some powder down in the kim lab that I'm gonna
put in back of the old cannon, and when mister
Stone gets here, we'll give them a salute. It'll here
to leave ninety.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
Gosh, do you think mister Cocklan like that.

Speaker 7 (13:49):
He doesn't know about it yet. What's this on the
desk here?

Speaker 5 (13:53):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (13:54):
What the Board of Education means to me?

Speaker 6 (13:57):
Say?

Speaker 7 (13:57):
I thought i'd watched this editorial while I was in
here this morning. This one, gee, I'm glad I found it.

Speaker 6 (14:04):
Miss Brooks was right.

Speaker 7 (14:05):
This could get me in a lot of trouble. But water,
this thing is dynamite. I'm gonna tear it up right now,
which you shouldn't.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
There's nothing I gotta.

Speaker 7 (14:11):
Tell you in ten minutes.

Speaker 6 (14:13):
Now, what is it?

Speaker 7 (14:15):
Stretch?

Speaker 3 (14:16):
That wasn't You're editorial?

Speaker 7 (14:18):
You just tore up It wasn't.

Speaker 8 (14:21):
No, it was a speech that mister Conklin's been sweating
out all morning.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Huh.

Speaker 8 (14:27):
Yeah, he told me to give it to miss Brooks.
But don't worry, Walter, I'm very good at jigsaw puzzles.
I'll just pick the pieces out of the waste basket
and paste them together again.

Speaker 7 (14:38):
I better help you with the kim lab. I got
powder cooking.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
You better get back to the water. This will be
easy for me to do on it.

Speaker 8 (14:45):
You go on back and make some real good explosives.
Get alive in the place up a bit, huh.

Speaker 7 (14:49):
I guess i'd better Stretch. But whatever you do, get
that speech past it together fast?

Speaker 8 (14:53):
Okay, pal Let's see there's more papers in this basket
than I thought. Well there's one piece that fits to another. Well, no,
don't neither were all most fits?

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Oh it'll be good enough, Walder Walder.

Speaker 6 (15:21):
Then yes, miss Brooks. Have you've seen Stretch anywhere? I've
looked all over the grounds for him. Walder, what are
you doing with that cannon? Cannon?

Speaker 7 (15:28):
I'm just polishing it, Miss Brooks. I want everything to
look stick and fin When mister Stone gets here.

Speaker 5 (15:33):
Well he better not get here until Stretch shows up
with mister Conklin's speech.

Speaker 6 (15:37):
I don't know what we'll do without Brooks.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Have you finished taking my speech?

Speaker 6 (15:41):
Not really, mister Conklin, What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Not really?

Speaker 5 (15:44):
I haven't begun, that is, I haven't begun to enjoy
anything as much as I did.

Speaker 6 (15:49):
That speech of yours. Stretch is carrying it for me.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Excuse me, miss Brooks, but here's the speech.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
Right in this folder.

Speaker 6 (15:56):
Nice timing, Stretch.

Speaker 10 (15:58):
See, mister Conklin, here's your speech.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Not a minute too soon. I think this is mister
Stone's car driving up now.

Speaker 8 (16:05):
Attention everyone right on those lines.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Okay, and it broke. You stand on my left. I'll
stand here by the cannon.

Speaker 7 (16:12):
Get a little closer to the cannon, mister Conklin stunning together.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
Quiet, Now, remember when mister Stone stepped out of the car.
I'll count three and we'll all salute him.

Speaker 7 (16:26):
I certainly will.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
One two.

Speaker 6 (16:37):
War What in the world did you put in that?

Speaker 7 (16:40):
Can call it just sort of a giant firecracker?

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Missus brook Jean, would somebody please help me up?

Speaker 5 (16:57):
Oh there you are, sir, Everything all right, there's no
reason to be embarrassed.

Speaker 6 (17:04):
That wasn't mister stones car. I said, that wasn't mister
Stone's car.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Stand there, flapping your lips. Say something.

Speaker 7 (17:20):
Mister looks he can't hear a word you're saying. He
was standing so close to the cannon and must have
plugged up his ears.

Speaker 6 (17:26):
Oh no, this is terrible, Walter that what did you say?

Speaker 10 (17:32):
Come into his office? He seems funned.

Speaker 6 (17:36):
Come on, dang.

Speaker 8 (17:37):
Three cheers for mister Conklin.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yes, yes, yes, what's going on here? Why is everyone
so quiet?

Speaker 7 (17:52):
Poor mister Conklin. Oh golly, miss Brooks, you don't think
Daddy's hearing will be permanently impaired, do.

Speaker 6 (18:10):
You, of course not, Harriet. This is just a temporary condition.
Shall I say? Come in, mister Conklin.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Eh, what's that?

Speaker 10 (18:20):
Come in, Pamus Brooks.

Speaker 7 (18:22):
How's mister Conklin's hearing?

Speaker 6 (18:24):
Very bad?

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Walter?

Speaker 7 (18:25):
Good, We're gonna shoot off the cannon again.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
But walk That was Denton, wasn't it. Did he have
anything to do with that explosion by the cannon?

Speaker 7 (18:34):
Oh, I'm sure he didn't, Danny. But then I'm sure
he didn't Daddy.

Speaker 6 (18:38):
That's right, mister Conklin. It just exploded. I say, it
just exploded.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
It certainly is corroded. I don't understand what happened. That
cannon hasn't been touched since the Spanish American War. It's
absolutely useless.

Speaker 6 (18:56):
What do you mean useless? We won, didn't we?

Speaker 2 (19:00):
You're right, you're right. It is unusual for mister Stone
to be so late. He's quite a busy man.

Speaker 7 (19:05):
Though, Gosh, miss brook do you think Daddy's hearing is
getting any.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
Better at all?

Speaker 10 (19:16):
Come in, he's improving by leaps and burns.

Speaker 5 (19:40):
Harry, please go out and tell Walter to stop that
racket as one.

Speaker 6 (19:43):
Oh, he, miss Brooks. But you'll see with daddy, won't
you certainly?

Speaker 5 (19:46):
And don't worry about him, Harriet. He's not in any pain,
all right, Miss Brooks, see.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
You later, daddy, Miss Brooks. When mister Stone does get here,
I don't want him to think there's anything wrong with
my hearing or anything else. If he suspected that cannon
had exploded on school property, he'd go back to the
board in a tizzy.

Speaker 5 (20:04):
I understand, mister Conklin, And in view of your condition,
I think it might be a good idea if I
were to read your speech to him.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
In view of my condition, it might be a good
idea if you were to read my speech to him.

Speaker 6 (20:14):
Quite an echo in the air.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
Now, remember to read the speech slowly, miss Brooks. And
when I see your lips stop moving, I'll make some
appropriate comment.

Speaker 6 (20:24):
From time to time, come in, well, it's mister Stone.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
How do you do, Miss Brooks? Sorry, I'm laid as good.
It was unavoidable. And thank you mister Stone, and a
happy new year to you too.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
I'll thank your pardon.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
Mister Conklin's a little confused, mister Stone.

Speaker 5 (20:47):
It isn't every day that so distinguished a visitor on
as our institution with a visit.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Well, that's very gracious, Miss Brooks. The speech, Miss Brooks,
the speech.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
Yes, sir.

Speaker 5 (20:55):
However, mister Conklin has prepared a little speech which I
will read to you now.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
You but why don't you read it yourself?

Speaker 5 (21:01):
Ogod you see, mister Stone, he's so choked with emotion
he's speechless. However, I have it right here, m nice
taste job. It's entitled what the Board of Education Means
to Me?

Speaker 6 (21:15):
By Osgood Conklin.

Speaker 7 (21:16):
It reads few people realize.

Speaker 5 (21:18):
The magnificent efficiency with which our Board of Education functions
This August body is composed of a group of able members,
and these baboons grow to a height.

Speaker 6 (21:28):
Of four people.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Why every word of this comes from the bottom of
my heart? Read on, Miss Broke.

Speaker 7 (21:45):
I don't know whether I should now I insist that
you do.

Speaker 5 (21:49):
Oh well, the members of the Board of Education make
very nice pets, as they don't never bother nobody, but
is all the time busy making love.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
What is the meaning of this right from the bottom
of my heart? Not sy here, Conlan. If this is
some sort of a joke, I don't like, not wonder.
Oh you're too kind, mister Stone. That last page, Miss broke.
But mister I wouldn't give to sum up. I would

(22:24):
like to read what I have written in this last
paragraph to quit. Having observed mister Stone's educational methods, I
am convinced that his outstanding talent is his ability to
eat bananas while hanging by his page. Believe me, mister Stone,
these sentiments are dictated by a sense.

Speaker 10 (22:48):
Eat bananas while hanging by hell.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
A man has obviously taken leave of a sentiment if
he let me. When they returns, this matter will be
thoroughly investigated.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
Good dame it from miss Brooks.

Speaker 10 (23:06):
This speech, This isn't the speech I wrote.

Speaker 5 (23:09):
I know it now, mister Conklin, but I didn't.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
I hold you responsible for this entire fiasco. And believe me,
miss Brooks, you have no idea how severe your punishment
is going to be.

Speaker 6 (23:18):
Oh yes I have, mister Conklin. This rooks, where you're
going how to get some bananas?

Speaker 5 (23:23):
There's nothing like hanging by your tail from a flagpole
or whip up an appetite.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Evadensis.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Bus returns in just a moment.

Speaker 8 (23:41):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, beautiful luster cream.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Girl, Tonight, yes, tonight, show him how much lovelier your
hair can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster cream
world's finest shampoo, their shampoo in the world if Haydom
It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanelin, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair

(24:09):
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff, listening
with sheens, salt, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream
lathers instantly, no special rints needed after a luster cream
shampoo soap gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes, tonight,
try luster cream champoo.

Speaker 8 (24:31):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, beautiful luster cream Girl.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
You owe your crowning wary Tu.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
A luster cream shampoo. And now once again here is
r Miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (24:52):
Well.

Speaker 5 (24:52):
Even after he's read a written concession from water and Stretch,
mister Conklin still blame me for the day's misadventures. He
ordered me to write a brand new.

Speaker 6 (25:02):
Speech for him that same afternoon.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
I wouldn't have minded that so much, but it meant
breaking one of my rare dates with mister Boynton. I
was complaining about it as we walked down the hall
after school.

Speaker 9 (25:12):
Oh, it does sound unfamous Brooks. But after all, mister
Conklin's of boss. What can you do about it?

Speaker 6 (25:16):
Well? I could go into his office and tell him off,
I suppose, but that wouldn't do any good either. He
can't hear a word.

Speaker 5 (25:23):
Wait a minute, Maybe these are the ideal conditions, A
chance to say all the things I've ever wanted to
say to him at the Conklin right to his faith.

Speaker 9 (25:32):
Do you think that's wise, miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (25:33):
I don't know how wise it is, but it'll certainly
do my little heart good.

Speaker 7 (25:37):
Excuse me, miss Brooks, I've got to take this aspen
into daddy.

Speaker 6 (25:39):
Oh, let me take it, Harrie. If there's something I'd
like to say to him.

Speaker 5 (25:42):
He's still pretty upset, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 7 (25:45):
Maybe i'd better see him alone first. All right, Harrys,
here's your asprind Daddy and a glass of water. See water, drink.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Stop gibbering, girl, I can hear you? Just think you care? Yes, yes,
it happened just a moment ago. My head cleared and
my hearing is perfectly normal.

Speaker 7 (26:05):
How wonderful, Oh, Daddy.

Speaker 6 (26:07):
Miss brook is waiting to see you. May I send
her in very well?

Speaker 7 (26:12):
Daddy will see you now, miss brook Oh goodye see
them arow.

Speaker 6 (26:15):
All right, Harry, Well, Miss Brooke, I just wanted.

Speaker 5 (26:19):
To talk to you about my having to stay in
this afternoon, you inconsiderate, maladjusted, subhuman tyrant. What I've got
some things to tell you that I've been saving up
for years, and it's going to be a great pleasure
to cool them into your dainty, plugged up ears.

Speaker 7 (26:44):
Hey, how does that go again?

Speaker 5 (26:48):
I'm all of puffed up, over stuffed, pompous wind.

Speaker 6 (26:52):
Bags i've ever met you. Take the marble cake, marblehead. Eh.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
Rather than try to talk some sense into that addlepated
new brain little head of yours, I'll do the work
this afternoon. Does that make you happy, you bed eyed,
beetle browed old buzzer.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yes, Miss Brooks, that makes me very happy.

Speaker 6 (27:22):
Good, And I just want to say by.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
You can hear yes, from the moment you entered this office,
you'll be pleased to know that this overstuffed wind bag
has absorbed your every word. You realize across, Miss Brooks,
that any chastisement you have suffered in the past is
mere child's play compared with what's in store for you now.

(27:54):
How I will not only see to it that our
low Board of Education receipts must be contagious.

Speaker 5 (28:02):
Fancy to hear a single word you say so three
hours ago that the cannon went off here I am
suddenly taking stone. Well, I guess there's no sense in worrying.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
About brooks brought you by lots of cream temples, a soart,
glamorous lussible hair and cold vile things to clean your
breath while you clean your teeth and help top twoty
day on.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
This brook starring e Varden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by wilbra Hatch. Be
beauty wise, Get bath sized Parmala soap for beauty care
all over. Yes, for your tubber shower. Enjoy the same
glorious beauty land that millions of women have found so

(28:48):
wonderful in bringing lovelier complexions in just fourteen days, simply
by the big, thrifty, long lasting bath sized Parmalive. Use
it for your palmlive soap facials. Enjoy its oceans of
creamy beautifying lather in your tub or shower, and say
men love it too, so let the whole family enjoy
bath size Parmalad. Yes, be beauty wise, get bath sized

(29:11):
Parmalad soap today. Be with us again next week at
the same time for another comedy episode of our Miss
Brooks bab Laman Speaking. This is CBS, the Crombie Broadcasting
syst
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