August 4, 2025 • 30 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm alive.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
So your beauty haulte.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
And Luster cream shampoo for salt glamorous caressible hair bring
you are.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Miss Brooks Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Or Miss Brooks, who teaches English as Madison High School,
is as conscientious about her work as any other teacher,
but she's come to realize lately that there are things
outside of the classroom which also demand her attention.
Speaker 5 (00:33):
There are two things which I feel I must do
to keep abreast of the time. First, I read all
the latest figures on the cost of living. And secondly,
I never miss Little Abner. It's not that I approve
of Little Abner's grammar, but with my salary as a
school teacher, I have to know what's going on in
dog Patch so I won't seem like a yoko when
(00:53):
I move there. Against this day, missus Davis, my landlady,
did last week to pack me a lunch so that
I could save the money I'd spend in the school cafeteria.
Although she's come up with some pretty weird recipes, the
first sandwiches she constructed for me were made out of
loganberry jelly and cucumbers. I was still grateful that I
(01:15):
didn't have to eat the miserable food they've been serving
in the cafeteria lately. Anyway, last Friday, when the bill
for lunch period rang, I realized I'd forgotten to bring
my lunch from home. So I picked up my purse
and a fifth of bicarbonates. And but before I reached
the door of my room, it opened, and our principle,
(01:35):
mister osgood Coonslan came in.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Good morning, Miss Brooks. On our way to lunch. Were
we we?
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Oh you mean my person me? Yes, sir, we were
going to live dangerously again.
Speaker 6 (01:49):
That's what I dropped in to talk to you about,
Miss Brooks. Those kind of remarks about the cafeteria have
got to stop. Oh, I realized that's the food they
serve isn't as good as the Waldorf Astoria or the
Ritz Hotels or eat pig Sty. But you must remember,
miss Brooks, that our cafeteria is operated as a very
low margin of profits. Now, I've just had some very
(02:11):
disturbing news from missus Dibson, the school dietician.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
What happened did you eat there?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is no laughing matter. Sales are fallen way off.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
And although the Board of Education doesn't hold me directly
responsible for the operations. The cafeteria is part of Madison's
and I am Madison's ruler a principle, Well, what do
you want.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Me to do, your highness, as.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
I want you to find out the temper of the
student body. You have the confidence of most of the
pupils here, Miss Brooks, and I must admit their attitude
has me a little worries. I dropped into the cafeteria
yesterday and I could swear I heard rumblings.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
That before or after lunch.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's very amusing, albeit extremely ill time.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I am counting on your cooperation. Will you carry the
ball for me?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Yes, mister Conson, I'll carry the ball provided I can
have someone to run interference.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
You know, help me out, someone like who, for instance,
someone like whom?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Don't show off? Who do you want to help you?
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Well, I thought maybe mister Boynton would be good. The
students in his biology class are very fond of him.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
They're not the only one.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
Why, mister Conson, you've been muscling into my subconscious that is,
I usually have lunch with mister Boynton, and well, together
we very.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Well draft him, I answer, but impress upon him the
necessity for discretion may all be just a tempest in
a teapot. And remember, I want as little publicity in
this affairs.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Possible, Yes, mister consor, and I understand.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Good as you were.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Let's see now, how was I? Oh, yes, I'm my
way to come in.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
It's me, Connie. You forgot your lunch box this morning,
so I brought it down for you.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Oh that was very sweet of you, Missus Davis. What's
in it?
Speaker 7 (04:16):
What would you like to be in it?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Well, frankly, I've gained so much weight since I stopped
beating in the cafeteria. I'd like to find a thin
sandwich in it?
Speaker 7 (04:24):
A thin sandwich?
Speaker 5 (04:26):
What's there? That's the chiron reducing tablet between two slices
of rye PRIs. That's one I heard on Chef Mulamiey's program.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Oh, you don't have to worry about your figure, Connie,
although I do think it was a good idea mine
to start giving you lunch so you can save enough
to pay me the rink money.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Oh, I'll get that straightened out as soon as possible,
Missus Davis. Now I have to go.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
Oh, I don't want you to worry about it, Connie.
As the old saying goes, there's no sense in both
of us worrying. That's when I heard push your face's nice?
You know something, Cannie?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What missus Davis.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
My brother Victor once saved so much money by eliminating
lunches that he could afford to spend two weeks at
the male Brother's clinic.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Clinic? What was he suffering from?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Mail NUTRITIONI and an easy teacher shouldn't say suffering from.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I'm sorry, I'd better be getting over.
Speaker 7 (05:30):
My sister Angela once eliminated both breakfast and lunch for
three months. She had to cut it out though why
her dinners were costing her a fortune. Well, I'll be
running along, Cannie. You can tell me how you enjoyed
the little surprise I made for you when you come
home this afternoon.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
If I come home, I'll walk out with you. Missus Davis,
I've got to go back to the cafeteria and see
how things are going. Well. Goodbye, dear, Thanks for bringing
the lunch box.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You're welcome, Cannie. Oh, dear, I can't keep the secret
and nothing tended? Yes, what kind of a cent which
I made for you?
Speaker 8 (06:07):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Parsley and banana?
Speaker 7 (06:11):
I'm that kind of brid.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Gluten.
Speaker 7 (06:21):
I hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 9 (06:30):
Miss Brooks, Oh, don't be scared. It's only me stretched,
not grass.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
Well.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Why is Madison Star athletes lurking outside of the cafeteria.
Speaker 11 (06:38):
I ain't lurking.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
I'm not lurking.
Speaker 11 (06:41):
I didn't say you was.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Were were?
Speaker 9 (06:46):
What?
Speaker 7 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 10 (06:47):
Were?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
You confuse me sometimes, Miss Brooks, me too.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
What did you want to tell me?
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Just that when you're going to the cafeteria you shouldn't
buy anything. The student body's gonna boycott the place. There's
a meeting right now with the threat strategy.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Oh well, who who's on it?
Speaker 13 (07:05):
The board?
Speaker 11 (07:06):
I mean Walter Setting and Harriet Conkland.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Mostly mostly huh.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Well, Harriet's father will mostly take care of her if
he finds out about this. Where are they meeting in the.
Speaker 9 (07:14):
Room where they print the school paper?
Speaker 11 (07:16):
You know, the Madison Monitors.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I know the name of the paper stretch. I made
it up.
Speaker 11 (07:20):
Oh yeah, it's a very good name, Miss Brooks, Madison Monitors.
Speaker 9 (07:24):
What I like about it? Get rhymes with what?
Speaker 11 (07:29):
I don't know with what? It just rhymes Madison Monitor.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
See what I mean?
Speaker 5 (07:35):
If I did, we'd both be in trouble. Pardon me,
but is this the Office of Strategic Services?
Speaker 7 (07:46):
Who can let close the door?
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Harriet?
Speaker 14 (07:49):
You see, miss Brooks, this is a secret meeting about
the food in the cafeteria, so we don't want the
faculty to get lind of it.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
How can they help it? On a clear day? Can
smell it in Catalina, Miss Brooks, this is mister Dunbar.
He used the teacher at Madison.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
How do you do, Miss Rugs.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Hello, mister Dunbar.
Speaker 15 (08:05):
I just stop by to see Mit the Cocktim, but
he wasn't in his office, so I dropped over to
one of my favorite old haunts when I taught here,
the newspaper room.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Oh did you used to haunt the newspaper room? I mean,
were you connected with the school paper?
Speaker 10 (08:16):
Oh?
Speaker 15 (08:16):
Yes, indeed I was faculty advisor.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
That's what miss Brooks is now.
Speaker 15 (08:20):
Uh uh, well, I don't want to disturb you. Go
right ahead with your meeting. I'll just look through some
of these old copies of the monitor.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Okay, mister Dunbar, Now they're Miss Brooks. Did anyone see
you come in here?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:31):
No, Walter, are you positive?
Speaker 10 (08:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
I'm not positive? So i'd known this was a secret meeting,
I'd have tunneled my way in.
Speaker 14 (08:40):
I guess we've got to take a chance.
Speaker 12 (08:41):
Do you see, Miss Brooks, We're going to circulate a
petition among the students asking them to boycott the cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Boycotted. But Harriet, what does your father say.
Speaker 8 (08:49):
I've talked to daddy, Miss Brooks, and he says there's
nothing he can do.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I deplore the embarrassment this may cause him.
Speaker 8 (08:55):
But as student body president, my first duty is to
my constituent.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Here I did, I did.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
We just finished the preamble to the resolutions and the petition.
Do you want to hear it?
Speaker 14 (09:08):
I'll read it to.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
You, whereas and to wits. That's pretty strong language, isn't it.
Speaker 16 (09:16):
Side When in the course of students events, it becomes
necessary to turn one's back on one's stomach, We the Undersigned,
exercising our constitutional right peaceably to assemble and to form
a committee to seek redress of grievances, do hereby announce
our firm intention of patronizing the Madison High School cafeteria
(09:38):
only to use the tables, chairs, water, napkins, and toothpicks.
Speaker 14 (09:43):
Provided therein until such time as the duly appointed party
or parties, namely, mister osgood Conklin Principal or the Board
of Education responsible for the operational Bob Downs.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Which has be calling the sis, do take such actions
which will improve the food, lower the prices, and better
the service and said cafeteria. It is also recommended in
whom this authority is vested you immediately proceeded the present
chef in charge of preparing the food, and without further
frippery or fanfare.
Speaker 14 (10:17):
Hut him the heck off the premises, Thomas Brooks, what
do you think of it?
Speaker 17 (10:25):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
How much are you asking for the picture? Ride is
the greatness?
Speaker 10 (10:30):
Brooks?
Speaker 5 (10:31):
And look over here, we just painted these plock cards.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That's in case the students vote to picket picket.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Oh no, wait a minute, this is goodness.
Speaker 14 (10:37):
Sign here, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Let's see remembered Toe Maine. Another one. Don't worry about
your old age. Eat here and you'll never make it.
Speaker 9 (10:53):
Made up.
Speaker 18 (10:55):
It goes Remember the saying, whatever goes up must come
down in our cafeteria. Whatever water, There must be some
other way we can get to.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
What you kids are suggesting is practically mut to me. Now,
I know the food isn't very good in the cafeteria,
but just not very good, Miss Brooks. Well, pretty bad then,
just pretty bad, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Well brutal.
Speaker 16 (11:29):
He's on our side here, Miss Brooks, take this sign.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
We're making you an honorary picket. But I don't want
to be a picket, don't you see, We've got to
avoid all publicity or mister right now, you're in this
thing as deep as we are. I'm in this thing
as deeply as you are.
Speaker 15 (11:46):
Well, this has certainly been an interesting little caucus. But
I'm afraid i'll have to be running along now. I
haven't met you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Oh, thank you, mister Dunbar Bonds Dunbar home.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
On good bye kids.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Very nice fellow.
Speaker 16 (11:56):
Yeah, he used to teach English too, of course.
Speaker 14 (11:59):
Now he's the editor of Evening Gazette, one of the
biggest papers in the county.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
He's been investigating conditions in the schools in this area. Oh, well,
that's certainly commendable sort of investigating conditions. But he just
heard me say the food here was brutal. So so
I want you to be sure and watch for my
picture in the gazette.
Speaker 18 (12:18):
You think it'll be on the front page.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
No, in little abner. There's going to be a new
school arm in dog pads oh.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
In this book starring Eve Arden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Burne Smith.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Ladies, what's your complexion problem?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
My skin so dingy, mine's oily, My skin's dull cost looking.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Doctors approved that many complexion problems respond wonderfully to proper
cleansing with Palma la soap, regardless.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Of age, skin type.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Or previous beauty care. Oily skin looks less oily, dull,
drab skin pressure and brighter, coarse looking skin appears finer.
To win such complexion improvements, simply use palm olive soap.
Nothing but pal molliyve is needed. The way doctors advised.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
Wash your face with palm olive soap three times a day,
Massage with palm Olly's Wonderful beauty ladder for sixty seconds
each time to get Palmali's full beautifying effects, then rinse look.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
For improvements within fourteen days. Remember thirty six doctors leading
skins specialists advise this way for one thousand, two hundred
eighty five women with all types of skins, and proved
it could bring lovelier complexions to two out of three,
So forget all other beauty care use Palmaly soap the
way these doctors advised for a fresher, brighter complexion, and
(13:45):
ladies enter the one hundred thousand dollars forty nine.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Gold Rush contests.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
The makers of Palmlid soap offer forty nine thousand dollars
first prize and over forty nine hundred other prizes. Get
entry blanks and complete rules from your dealer. Now you
may enough fortune in came.
Speaker 6 (14:08):
Well.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I finally prevailed upon Walter and Harriet to postpone the
cafeteria boycott until I could talk it over with mister
Boynton and report back to mister Conklin. Then I hurried
down to the biology laboratory. I in excuse me, mister Barton,
but I got to talk to you about something. Could
you come to the cafeteria with me right away?
Speaker 10 (14:28):
But I haven't been eating lunch in the cafeteria, Miss Brooks.
I bring my lunch.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Oh, I do too, See I've got my lunch box
with me. But I thought we'd go to the cafeteria
for some coffee and I could tell you, Oh, I got.
Speaker 10 (14:37):
A thermos full of coffee and it's so much cozier
than the cafeteria. Won't you have lunch here, miss Brooks
with me?
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Well, mister Conklin, I tried. I suppose I could tell
you what's on my mind after lunch.
Speaker 10 (14:53):
Oh good, sit right down at that table over there,
and just push those jars to one side, all.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Right, mister Barton, One of these jars just smiled at me.
Speaker 10 (15:04):
Oh over Alarmis Brooks. A friend of mine sent those
to me from Africa. They're shrunken heads.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Oh, if they're here for lunch, they can have mine.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
I'll just be a Minimis Brooks. I'm feeding my pet
frog mccougal. You remember Miss Brooks, mac Hi Max. I
always feed mac before I eat myself, Just like the
cowboys starts doing those Western movies, they always feed their
horses first.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
So good for you, Pardoner RSA.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
I've never owned a horse, but old mac here is
as close to me as any pet I've ever had.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
Yes, I know, why don't we throw a sadal on
im and go for a ride after school? Look, mister Boyne,
maybe I shouldn't wait any longer to tell you what
I discussed with mister Confline.
Speaker 10 (15:48):
Please, Miss Brooks not while Max's eating. This is a
festive occasion. Let's not talk about anything serious. I heard
a brand new joke the other day. Would you like
to hear it?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I might as well.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
It's sort of a riddle.
Speaker 10 (16:02):
It goes, why can't a woman swallow her apron?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I don't know, mister Barton. Why can't a woman swallow
her apron?
Speaker 10 (16:09):
Because it goes against her stomach? Frent Myers, the math teacher,
told me that when he's a hot sketch anyway, don't
you think?
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Yeah, And he's funnier than trigonometry.
Speaker 10 (16:26):
That new French teacher, mister Leblanche has a good sense
of humor too. As a matter of fact, he's supposed
to have lunch with me today. He said he'd prepare
something typically French at home and bring it into the lab.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
What do you think you'll prepare, mister Boynton? Frog's leg?
Speaker 10 (16:41):
She didn't mean it. Nobody's gonna touch you while I'm around. Well,
he's pretty sensitive, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
I'm sorry, Mack. I lost my head.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
There's Leblanche.
Speaker 6 (16:52):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 13 (16:55):
I have to kick on your door in, mister Boynton.
But as you can see my arms up Hello, Monsieur leblancee. Oh,
Mademoise Delle Books, I'm doubly sorry. My arms are full.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
Well, thank you, Monsieur le Blanche, and I'll meet you
in the Cavs bar later.
Speaker 10 (17:13):
Just put that cast roll on this table here by
those jars.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Oh very well.
Speaker 13 (17:19):
What he's the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yes, African branch. What's in the monsieur?
Speaker 13 (17:28):
Oh it's a it's a famous French recipe, Miss Books.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
It's called de.
Speaker 13 (17:31):
Villand deliciers as a model of the foam gatiers, which
means meat ball. I assure you they are better than
the food served no cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Oh that reminds me. The kids have gotten up a petition.
The boy cut the plate. Good for them, maybe good
for them, but it won't be so good for me
unless I can do something to stop it. You see,
I promise mister cost.
Speaker 13 (17:58):
Miss Books, let us not talk. Well, mister Bunton, everything
is ready, but the salt. This I must similar for
a few more minutes. May I use your Bunsen burner?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Of course, I'll turn it up for you.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
I'm not very hungry. Could I just boil a small
egg and a test.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
To Mademoiselle Books.
Speaker 13 (18:15):
Just hold this dish right here, So now soon we
will have the finest eating in the whole world. And
while we're waiting, I tell you a story. Yes, fine, well,
this is a very old story that was handed down
from the time of Napoleon Bonaparte and the Empress Eugenie.
Please tell me if you've heard it.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Miss Books.
Speaker 10 (18:31):
I doubt it.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Eugenie and I weren't very chummy.
Speaker 10 (18:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (18:36):
Well, once upon a time there was an emissary in
the court of England. But he was not an emissary.
He was a spy and he had a message to
another spy sucked beneath his belt, a message in code
of God.
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Go on.
Speaker 13 (18:51):
Well, when this spy got to Paris, he was apprehended
by the soultee you know, the police, and so he
took the message from beneath his belt and thought the
swallow it. But he could not why because it went
against his stomach.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
I don't get it, you say, he has the message
tucked under Never.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mind, mister Boyton. He can explain it later. Should I
stop holding this dish over the bunsen burner? Now my
nails are melting.
Speaker 13 (19:23):
He let me smell it. Oh delicious, Yes, it just
needs one thing. Let me see, mister Boynton. Yes, do
you think we could persuade Mossiew McDougall to stroll through
the sawce.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
He's only kidding Mac now, No, I'll take it easy.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's the way.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
There are some plates on that shelf over your head,
Miss Brooks. Would you hand me if you want to? Please?
Speaker 5 (19:48):
All right, mister Borton, but I'm afraid I won't be
able to join you right now. I'm too nervous about
mister Conston if he caught us eating here instead of
the cafeteria.
Speaker 10 (19:56):
Will you please stop worrying about mister Conston, miss Brooks,
I assure you the only reason he goes to the
cafeterias for appearance's sake. He's probably got a nice homemade
lunch hidden in the safe in his office.
Speaker 12 (20:06):
In the safe.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Oh, don't exaggerate, mister Barnton.
Speaker 13 (20:09):
Let's forget about mister Conklin and enjoy our lunch together,
h just the three of us, like the dream of catill. No,
I make a sot or for one and one for all,
all for one, and one for all, all for one
and one for.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Wait a minute, we're drinking from aldehyde.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Read to the right, four to the left, now two
more to the right.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Huh yuhuh, Now for a nice chicken sandwich, just the
way I like blendy of leathers.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Come in reading with Cochlan. I'm Martin Dunbar.
Speaker 15 (21:05):
Used to teach for you a few years back, remember.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Me, Dunbar number. Oh yes, yes, of course you taught Latin,
didn't you.
Speaker 13 (21:12):
Well, yes, close English.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Of course.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
We'll always glad to see any of my old teachers
drop in any time I did.
Speaker 13 (21:20):
I dropped in the day.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Well, I'm rather busy right now.
Speaker 15 (21:25):
So if you could see that, the same old evasive
as good what I see here, young man? By what
license do you call me by my first name? The
same old pompers as good pompers?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Why you? Who are you?
Speaker 6 (21:37):
What are you?
Speaker 12 (21:38):
Pump?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Where you pick? And what name? Blood pressure?
Speaker 6 (21:41):
Too?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Huh?
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Look?
Speaker 15 (21:43):
God's good As editor of the Evening is that it's
my duty to expose certain things to public view. Not
all think, mind you, but just those things that have
a rather unpleasant odor.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Now you leave our cafeteria out of it. I mean
what you mention your cafeteria. That's good.
Speaker 15 (21:59):
But now that you did, I think you ought to
know at least as much as I do. Namely, the
students here are talking about a boycott.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
What students probably just a handful of irresponsible scatter brain
trouble making old uh huh.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
One of the.
Speaker 15 (22:12):
Pupils who told me about it was named Harriet Conklin,
just the.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Type I had in mind, nothing but a scatter Harry farm.
Speaker 13 (22:22):
That's right, Os, good your own daughter.
Speaker 15 (22:24):
And it isn't just the students that are rebelling either.
I heard one of your teachers refer to the food
here as brutal. A teacher said that, uh huh, that'll
make a nice juicy headline too, Faculty member Sling's mudded
cafeteria hash.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Oh Madison.
Speaker 15 (22:41):
English teacher vilifies Victuals.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Did you say, English teacher?
Speaker 10 (22:46):
I did.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Miss Brooks is the name.
Speaker 15 (22:48):
She's in this thing, as deep as any of them,
as deeply edited.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I told her, Look, now, there must be some way
we can straighten this on.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
I'll tell you what done, bo old boy, Yes, kiddo,
leat me in the cafeteria. In five minutes, we'll we'll
have lunch together. I was on my way down there
when you came in.
Speaker 15 (23:13):
All right, but where are you going?
Speaker 6 (23:15):
Now I'm going to find missus Brooks and make her
eat her words. Oh worse, I'll make her eat in
the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I'll see you in a little whild on barb.
Speaker 15 (23:24):
Oh, mister cochlan, before you go, you'd better slam that
safe again. Your letters is showing.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
What I That is the end of the story.
Speaker 10 (23:41):
But if he has a message under his belt, mister.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Boyton, why don't you get another meatball under your belt
and forget the story?
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Ha, just because I thought, oh hello, mister Conklins conclaim,
don't hello me you you culprits.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Could tell you in a minute, Miss Brooks, I.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
Entrusted you with a mission, a simple mission that a
child could perform, and you failed me.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Instead of bringing me news of this insurrection, you joined it.
But I have no time for apologies.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Now I want you to run down to the nearest
good restaurant and buy the best lunch that you can
and smuggle it into the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
What's that I smell? Oh it from this dish here
say that's a wonderful aroma.
Speaker 13 (24:26):
But of course, because it's my own recipe, de ViOn
dinnits years ashe de delicates, Oh there theform gots yours.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Meatball? Eh? Are they really good?
Speaker 10 (24:42):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yes, sir, they're wonderful. Well, that saves somebody a trip.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
Bring the whole plate up to the cafeteria immediately, Miss Brooks,
you are acquainted with mister Dunbar.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
I presume Dunbar, yes, we've mad.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Don't sound so innocent. According to him, you shot your
mouth off like it was the fourth of July.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
I'll get that food in the cafeteria immediately, immediately.
Speaker 15 (25:11):
Well, I must say that was the best food I've
ever had in or out of a school cafeteria.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Well, I wish you'd repeat that statement, Dunbar. I see
my daughter Harriet and her idiot consort approaching.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Oh, hello kid, How long, mister Dunbar? How long?
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Mister Well, mister Dunbar, you've cleaned your.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Plate, of course he has. The food was wonderful, wasn't it,
mister Dunbar?
Speaker 10 (25:32):
It certainly was.
Speaker 8 (25:33):
Oh that means we can call off the boycott.
Speaker 12 (25:35):
Why is it?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Do Daddy fire the sheef? Better than that? My dear,
look behind the steam table in order of meatballs, please one.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Meatball coming up.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
In Barton returns in just a moment.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
But first dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look
after a luster cream shampoo only. Luster cream brings you
kdoom with magic formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle
Lanolin gives loveliness, lather even in hardest water. Glamorizes your
hair as.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
You wash it.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Luster Cream not a soap, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo leave's hair fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable. Gives new beauty to all
hairdoos or permanence four ounce jar, one dollar smaller sizes
either tube or jars. Tonight, try luster cream shampoo and.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Be a dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
You owe your cunning glory a lost recream Champo.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we would like to bring
to our microphone the Western editor of Radio Mirror Magazine,
Miss and Daggett.
Speaker 17 (27:20):
Thank you, mister Lehman. And as you know, the current
issue of Radio Mirror Magazine is now announcing the results
of its annual awards based on a pool of radio
listeners all over the country. It is my pleasant duty
to present this scroll in behalf of those listeners who
are elected as Radio's pump ranking comedian, Miss Eve Arden.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Thank you, Miss Daggott, and my sincere thanks also to
you listeners who made this award possible. I'd like to
say at this time that I'm certainly going to try
in the coming months to merit the honor you bestowed
upon me, because I understand that if I win this
scroll two years in a row, I get to keep
mister Boynton.
Speaker 16 (28:10):
Than you.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Turning to another ar, Miss brush Clow, brought you by
Parmali Cloak, Your Beauty Hope and Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous,
caressible hair Our Miss.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns, written
and directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch.
Mister Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conklin by
Gail Gordon. Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan,
Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Leonard Smith, Gerald Moore and Bill Conrad.
Speaker 6 (28:41):
Men, do you shave with a lather or brushless shaved cream?
Parmolive shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever way you
prefer to shave, you'll find that using either Parmelive brushless
or Parmolive lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Here's the proof.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Twenty five hundred and forty eight men tried the new
Pomolive way to shave described on the tube, and no
matter how they had shaved before, three out of every
four got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves. Get Parmalid brushless
or palm Olid lather shaving cream today.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Or Mystery Liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to Mystery and
Missus North, the exciting fun pact adventures of an amateur
detective and his beautiful wife.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Tune in Tuesday evenings.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Over most of these same stations and be with us
again next week at this time for another comedy episode
of our Miss.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Brooks bab La mon Speaks. Listen to the Amba Broadcast
I'm alive.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
So your beauty haulte.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
And Luster cream shampoo for salt glamorous caressible hair bring
you are.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Miss Brooks Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Or Miss Brooks, who teaches English as Madison High School,
is as conscientious about her work as any other teacher,
but she's come to realize lately that there are things
outside of the classroom which also demand her attention.
Speaker 5 (00:33):
There are two things which I feel I must do
to keep abreast of the time. First, I read all
the latest figures on the cost of living. And secondly,
I never miss Little Abner. It's not that I approve
of Little Abner's grammar, but with my salary as a
school teacher, I have to know what's going on in
dog Patch so I won't seem like a yoko when
(00:53):
I move there. Against this day, missus Davis, my landlady,
did last week to pack me a lunch so that
I could save the money I'd spend in the school cafeteria.
Although she's come up with some pretty weird recipes, the
first sandwiches she constructed for me were made out of
loganberry jelly and cucumbers. I was still grateful that I
(01:15):
didn't have to eat the miserable food they've been serving
in the cafeteria lately. Anyway, last Friday, when the bill
for lunch period rang, I realized I'd forgotten to bring
my lunch from home. So I picked up my purse
and a fifth of bicarbonates. And but before I reached
the door of my room, it opened, and our principle,
(01:35):
mister osgood Coonslan came in.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Good morning, Miss Brooks. On our way to lunch. Were
we we?
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Oh you mean my person me? Yes, sir, we were
going to live dangerously again.
Speaker 6 (01:49):
That's what I dropped in to talk to you about,
Miss Brooks. Those kind of remarks about the cafeteria have
got to stop. Oh, I realized that's the food they
serve isn't as good as the Waldorf Astoria or the
Ritz Hotels or eat pig Sty. But you must remember,
miss Brooks, that our cafeteria is operated as a very
low margin of profits. Now, I've just had some very
(02:11):
disturbing news from missus Dibson, the school dietician.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
What happened did you eat there?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is no laughing matter. Sales are fallen way off.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
And although the Board of Education doesn't hold me directly
responsible for the operations. The cafeteria is part of Madison's
and I am Madison's ruler a principle, Well, what do
you want.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Me to do, your highness, as.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
I want you to find out the temper of the
student body. You have the confidence of most of the
pupils here, Miss Brooks, and I must admit their attitude
has me a little worries. I dropped into the cafeteria
yesterday and I could swear I heard rumblings.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
That before or after lunch.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's very amusing, albeit extremely ill time.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
I am counting on your cooperation. Will you carry the
ball for me?
Speaker 5 (03:10):
Yes, mister Conson, I'll carry the ball provided I can
have someone to run interference.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
You know, help me out, someone like who, for instance,
someone like whom?
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Don't show off? Who do you want to help you?
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Well, I thought maybe mister Boynton would be good. The
students in his biology class are very fond of him.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
They're not the only one.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
Why, mister Conson, you've been muscling into my subconscious that is,
I usually have lunch with mister Boynton, and well, together
we very.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Well draft him, I answer, but impress upon him the
necessity for discretion may all be just a tempest in
a teapot. And remember, I want as little publicity in
this affairs.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
Possible, Yes, mister consor, and I understand.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Good as you were.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
Let's see now, how was I? Oh, yes, I'm my
way to come in.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
It's me, Connie. You forgot your lunch box this morning,
so I brought it down for you.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Oh that was very sweet of you, Missus Davis. What's
in it?
Speaker 7 (04:16):
What would you like to be in it?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
Well, frankly, I've gained so much weight since I stopped
beating in the cafeteria. I'd like to find a thin
sandwich in it?
Speaker 7 (04:24):
A thin sandwich?
Speaker 5 (04:26):
What's there? That's the chiron reducing tablet between two slices
of rye PRIs. That's one I heard on Chef Mulamiey's program.
Speaker 7 (04:36):
Oh, you don't have to worry about your figure, Connie,
although I do think it was a good idea mine
to start giving you lunch so you can save enough
to pay me the rink money.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Oh, I'll get that straightened out as soon as possible,
Missus Davis. Now I have to go.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
Oh, I don't want you to worry about it, Connie.
As the old saying goes, there's no sense in both
of us worrying. That's when I heard push your face's nice?
You know something, Cannie?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
What missus Davis.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
My brother Victor once saved so much money by eliminating
lunches that he could afford to spend two weeks at
the male Brother's clinic.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Clinic? What was he suffering from?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Mail NUTRITIONI and an easy teacher shouldn't say suffering from.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I'm sorry, I'd better be getting over.
Speaker 7 (05:30):
My sister Angela once eliminated both breakfast and lunch for
three months. She had to cut it out though why
her dinners were costing her a fortune. Well, I'll be
running along, Cannie. You can tell me how you enjoyed
the little surprise I made for you when you come
home this afternoon.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
If I come home, I'll walk out with you. Missus Davis,
I've got to go back to the cafeteria and see
how things are going. Well. Goodbye, dear, Thanks for bringing
the lunch box.
Speaker 7 (05:58):
You're welcome, Cannie. Oh, dear, I can't keep the secret
and nothing tended? Yes, what kind of a cent which
I made for you?
Speaker 8 (06:07):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Parsley and banana?
Speaker 7 (06:11):
I'm that kind of brid.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Gluten.
Speaker 7 (06:21):
I hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 9 (06:30):
Miss Brooks, Oh, don't be scared. It's only me stretched,
not grass.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
Well.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Why is Madison Star athletes lurking outside of the cafeteria.
Speaker 11 (06:38):
I ain't lurking.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
I'm not lurking.
Speaker 11 (06:41):
I didn't say you was.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Were were?
Speaker 9 (06:46):
What?
Speaker 7 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 10 (06:47):
Were?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
What?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
You confuse me sometimes, Miss Brooks, me too.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
What did you want to tell me?
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Just that when you're going to the cafeteria you shouldn't
buy anything. The student body's gonna boycott the place. There's
a meeting right now with the threat strategy.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Oh well, who who's on it?
Speaker 13 (07:05):
The board?
Speaker 11 (07:06):
I mean Walter Setting and Harriet Conkland.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Mostly mostly huh.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Well, Harriet's father will mostly take care of her if
he finds out about this. Where are they meeting in the.
Speaker 9 (07:14):
Room where they print the school paper?
Speaker 11 (07:16):
You know, the Madison Monitors.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I know the name of the paper stretch. I made
it up.
Speaker 11 (07:20):
Oh yeah, it's a very good name, Miss Brooks, Madison Monitors.
Speaker 9 (07:24):
What I like about it? Get rhymes with what?
Speaker 11 (07:29):
I don't know with what? It just rhymes Madison Monitor.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
See what I mean?
Speaker 5 (07:35):
If I did, we'd both be in trouble. Pardon me,
but is this the Office of Strategic Services?
Speaker 7 (07:46):
Who can let close the door?
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Harriet?
Speaker 14 (07:49):
You see, miss Brooks, this is a secret meeting about
the food in the cafeteria, so we don't want the
faculty to get lind of it.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
How can they help it? On a clear day? Can
smell it in Catalina, Miss Brooks, this is mister Dunbar.
He used the teacher at Madison.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
How do you do, Miss Rugs.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Hello, mister Dunbar.
Speaker 15 (08:05):
I just stop by to see Mit the Cocktim, but
he wasn't in his office, so I dropped over to
one of my favorite old haunts when I taught here,
the newspaper room.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Oh did you used to haunt the newspaper room? I mean,
were you connected with the school paper?
Speaker 10 (08:16):
Oh?
Speaker 15 (08:16):
Yes, indeed I was faculty advisor.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
That's what miss Brooks is now.
Speaker 15 (08:20):
Uh uh, well, I don't want to disturb you. Go
right ahead with your meeting. I'll just look through some
of these old copies of the monitor.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Okay, mister Dunbar, Now they're Miss Brooks. Did anyone see
you come in here?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (08:31):
No, Walter, are you positive?
Speaker 10 (08:33):
No?
Speaker 5 (08:34):
I'm not positive? So i'd known this was a secret meeting,
I'd have tunneled my way in.
Speaker 14 (08:40):
I guess we've got to take a chance.
Speaker 12 (08:41):
Do you see, Miss Brooks, We're going to circulate a
petition among the students asking them to boycott the cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Boycotted. But Harriet, what does your father say.
Speaker 8 (08:49):
I've talked to daddy, Miss Brooks, and he says there's
nothing he can do.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I deplore the embarrassment this may cause him.
Speaker 8 (08:55):
But as student body president, my first duty is to
my constituent.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Here I did, I did.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
We just finished the preamble to the resolutions and the petition.
Do you want to hear it?
Speaker 14 (09:08):
I'll read it to.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
You, whereas and to wits. That's pretty strong language, isn't it.
Speaker 16 (09:16):
Side When in the course of students events, it becomes
necessary to turn one's back on one's stomach, We the Undersigned,
exercising our constitutional right peaceably to assemble and to form
a committee to seek redress of grievances, do hereby announce
our firm intention of patronizing the Madison High School cafeteria
(09:38):
only to use the tables, chairs, water, napkins, and toothpicks.
Speaker 14 (09:43):
Provided therein until such time as the duly appointed party
or parties, namely, mister osgood Conklin Principal or the Board
of Education responsible for the operational Bob Downs.
Speaker 8 (09:56):
Which has be calling the sis, do take such actions
which will improve the food, lower the prices, and better
the service and said cafeteria. It is also recommended in
whom this authority is vested you immediately proceeded the present
chef in charge of preparing the food, and without further
frippery or fanfare.
Speaker 14 (10:17):
Hut him the heck off the premises, Thomas Brooks, what
do you think of it?
Speaker 17 (10:25):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
How much are you asking for the picture? Ride is
the greatness?
Speaker 10 (10:30):
Brooks?
Speaker 5 (10:31):
And look over here, we just painted these plock cards.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
That's in case the students vote to picket picket.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Oh no, wait a minute, this is goodness.
Speaker 14 (10:37):
Sign here, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Let's see remembered Toe Maine. Another one. Don't worry about
your old age. Eat here and you'll never make it.
Speaker 9 (10:53):
Made up.
Speaker 18 (10:55):
It goes Remember the saying, whatever goes up must come
down in our cafeteria. Whatever water, There must be some
other way we can get to.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
What you kids are suggesting is practically mut to me. Now,
I know the food isn't very good in the cafeteria,
but just not very good, Miss Brooks. Well, pretty bad then,
just pretty bad, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Well brutal.
Speaker 16 (11:29):
He's on our side here, Miss Brooks, take this sign.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
We're making you an honorary picket. But I don't want
to be a picket, don't you see, We've got to
avoid all publicity or mister right now, you're in this
thing as deep as we are. I'm in this thing
as deeply as you are.
Speaker 15 (11:46):
Well, this has certainly been an interesting little caucus. But
I'm afraid i'll have to be running along now. I
haven't met you, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Oh, thank you, mister Dunbar Bonds Dunbar home.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
On good bye kids.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Very nice fellow.
Speaker 16 (11:56):
Yeah, he used to teach English too, of course.
Speaker 14 (11:59):
Now he's the editor of Evening Gazette, one of the
biggest papers in the county.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
He's been investigating conditions in the schools in this area. Oh, well,
that's certainly commendable sort of investigating conditions. But he just
heard me say the food here was brutal. So so
I want you to be sure and watch for my
picture in the gazette.
Speaker 18 (12:18):
You think it'll be on the front page.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
No, in little abner. There's going to be a new
school arm in dog pads oh.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
In this book starring Eve Arden will continue in just
a moment, But first here is Burne Smith.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Ladies, what's your complexion problem?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
My skin so dingy, mine's oily, My skin's dull cost looking.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Doctors approved that many complexion problems respond wonderfully to proper
cleansing with Palma la soap, regardless.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Of age, skin type.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Or previous beauty care. Oily skin looks less oily, dull,
drab skin pressure and brighter, coarse looking skin appears finer.
To win such complexion improvements, simply use palm olive soap.
Nothing but pal molliyve is needed. The way doctors advised.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
Wash your face with palm olive soap three times a day,
Massage with palm Olly's Wonderful beauty ladder for sixty seconds
each time to get Palmali's full beautifying effects, then rinse look.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
For improvements within fourteen days. Remember thirty six doctors leading
skins specialists advise this way for one thousand, two hundred
eighty five women with all types of skins, and proved
it could bring lovelier complexions to two out of three,
So forget all other beauty care use Palmaly soap the
way these doctors advised for a fresher, brighter complexion, and
(13:45):
ladies enter the one hundred thousand dollars forty nine.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Gold Rush contests.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
The makers of Palmlid soap offer forty nine thousand dollars
first prize and over forty nine hundred other prizes. Get
entry blanks and complete rules from your dealer. Now you
may enough fortune in came.
Speaker 6 (14:08):
Well.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I finally prevailed upon Walter and Harriet to postpone the
cafeteria boycott until I could talk it over with mister
Boynton and report back to mister Conklin. Then I hurried
down to the biology laboratory. I in excuse me, mister Barton,
but I got to talk to you about something. Could
you come to the cafeteria with me right away?
Speaker 10 (14:28):
But I haven't been eating lunch in the cafeteria, Miss Brooks.
I bring my lunch.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Oh, I do too, See I've got my lunch box
with me. But I thought we'd go to the cafeteria
for some coffee and I could tell you, Oh, I got.
Speaker 10 (14:37):
A thermos full of coffee and it's so much cozier
than the cafeteria. Won't you have lunch here, miss Brooks
with me?
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Well, mister Conklin, I tried. I suppose I could tell
you what's on my mind after lunch.
Speaker 10 (14:53):
Oh good, sit right down at that table over there,
and just push those jars to one side, all.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
Right, mister Barton, One of these jars just smiled at me.
Speaker 10 (15:04):
Oh over Alarmis Brooks. A friend of mine sent those
to me from Africa. They're shrunken heads.
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Oh, if they're here for lunch, they can have mine.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
I'll just be a Minimis Brooks. I'm feeding my pet
frog mccougal. You remember Miss Brooks, mac Hi Max. I
always feed mac before I eat myself, Just like the
cowboys starts doing those Western movies, they always feed their
horses first.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
So good for you, Pardoner RSA.
Speaker 10 (15:35):
I've never owned a horse, but old mac here is
as close to me as any pet I've ever had.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
Yes, I know, why don't we throw a sadal on
im and go for a ride after school? Look, mister Boyne,
maybe I shouldn't wait any longer to tell you what
I discussed with mister Confline.
Speaker 10 (15:48):
Please, Miss Brooks not while Max's eating. This is a
festive occasion. Let's not talk about anything serious. I heard
a brand new joke the other day. Would you like
to hear it?
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I might as well.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
It's sort of a riddle.
Speaker 10 (16:02):
It goes, why can't a woman swallow her apron?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I don't know, mister Barton. Why can't a woman swallow
her apron?
Speaker 10 (16:09):
Because it goes against her stomach? Frent Myers, the math teacher,
told me that when he's a hot sketch anyway, don't
you think?
Speaker 5 (16:23):
Yeah, And he's funnier than trigonometry.
Speaker 10 (16:26):
That new French teacher, mister Leblanche has a good sense
of humor too. As a matter of fact, he's supposed
to have lunch with me today. He said he'd prepare
something typically French at home and bring it into the lab.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
What do you think you'll prepare, mister Boynton? Frog's leg?
Speaker 10 (16:41):
She didn't mean it. Nobody's gonna touch you while I'm around. Well,
he's pretty sensitive, miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
I'm sorry, Mack. I lost my head.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
There's Leblanche.
Speaker 6 (16:52):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 13 (16:55):
I have to kick on your door in, mister Boynton.
But as you can see my arms up Hello, Monsieur leblancee. Oh,
Mademoise Delle Books, I'm doubly sorry. My arms are full.
Speaker 5 (17:05):
Well, thank you, Monsieur le Blanche, and I'll meet you
in the Cavs bar later.
Speaker 10 (17:13):
Just put that cast roll on this table here by
those jars.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Oh very well.
Speaker 13 (17:19):
What he's the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
Yes, African branch. What's in the monsieur?
Speaker 13 (17:28):
Oh it's a it's a famous French recipe, Miss Books.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
It's called de.
Speaker 13 (17:31):
Villand deliciers as a model of the foam gatiers, which
means meat ball. I assure you they are better than
the food served no cafeteria.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Oh that reminds me. The kids have gotten up a petition.
The boy cut the plate. Good for them, maybe good
for them, but it won't be so good for me
unless I can do something to stop it. You see,
I promise mister cost.
Speaker 13 (17:58):
Miss Books, let us not talk. Well, mister Bunton, everything
is ready, but the salt. This I must similar for
a few more minutes. May I use your Bunsen burner?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Of course, I'll turn it up for you.
Speaker 5 (18:08):
I'm not very hungry. Could I just boil a small
egg and a test.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
To Mademoiselle Books.
Speaker 13 (18:15):
Just hold this dish right here, So now soon we
will have the finest eating in the whole world. And
while we're waiting, I tell you a story. Yes, fine, well,
this is a very old story that was handed down
from the time of Napoleon Bonaparte and the Empress Eugenie.
Please tell me if you've heard it.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Miss Books.
Speaker 10 (18:31):
I doubt it.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Eugenie and I weren't very chummy.
Speaker 10 (18:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (18:36):
Well, once upon a time there was an emissary in
the court of England. But he was not an emissary.
He was a spy and he had a message to
another spy sucked beneath his belt, a message in code
of God.
Speaker 6 (18:50):
Go on.
Speaker 13 (18:51):
Well, when this spy got to Paris, he was apprehended
by the soultee you know, the police, and so he
took the message from beneath his belt and thought the
swallow it. But he could not why because it went
against his stomach.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
I don't get it, you say, he has the message
tucked under Never.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
Mind, mister Boyton. He can explain it later. Should I
stop holding this dish over the bunsen burner? Now my
nails are melting.
Speaker 13 (19:23):
He let me smell it. Oh delicious, Yes, it just
needs one thing. Let me see, mister Boynton. Yes, do
you think we could persuade Mossiew McDougall to stroll through
the sawce.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
He's only kidding Mac now, No, I'll take it easy.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
That's the way.
Speaker 10 (19:44):
There are some plates on that shelf over your head,
Miss Brooks. Would you hand me if you want to? Please?
Speaker 5 (19:48):
All right, mister Borton, but I'm afraid I won't be
able to join you right now. I'm too nervous about
mister Conston if he caught us eating here instead of
the cafeteria.
Speaker 10 (19:56):
Will you please stop worrying about mister Conston, miss Brooks,
I assure you the only reason he goes to the
cafeterias for appearance's sake. He's probably got a nice homemade
lunch hidden in the safe in his office.
Speaker 12 (20:06):
In the safe.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Oh, don't exaggerate, mister Barnton.
Speaker 13 (20:09):
Let's forget about mister Conklin and enjoy our lunch together,
h just the three of us, like the dream of catill. No,
I make a sot or for one and one for all,
all for one, and one for all, all for one
and one for.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
Wait a minute, we're drinking from aldehyde.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Read to the right, four to the left, now two
more to the right.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Huh yuhuh, Now for a nice chicken sandwich, just the
way I like blendy of leathers.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Come in reading with Cochlan. I'm Martin Dunbar.
Speaker 15 (21:05):
Used to teach for you a few years back, remember.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Me, Dunbar number. Oh yes, yes, of course you taught Latin,
didn't you.
Speaker 13 (21:12):
Well, yes, close English.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Of course.
Speaker 6 (21:16):
We'll always glad to see any of my old teachers
drop in any time I did.
Speaker 13 (21:20):
I dropped in the day.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Well, I'm rather busy right now.
Speaker 15 (21:25):
So if you could see that, the same old evasive
as good what I see here, young man? By what
license do you call me by my first name? The
same old pompers as good pompers?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Why you? Who are you?
Speaker 6 (21:37):
What are you?
Speaker 12 (21:38):
Pump?
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Where you pick? And what name? Blood pressure?
Speaker 6 (21:41):
Too?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Huh?
Speaker 7 (21:43):
Look?
Speaker 15 (21:43):
God's good As editor of the Evening is that it's
my duty to expose certain things to public view. Not
all think, mind you, but just those things that have
a rather unpleasant odor.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Now you leave our cafeteria out of it. I mean
what you mention your cafeteria. That's good.
Speaker 15 (21:59):
But now that you did, I think you ought to
know at least as much as I do. Namely, the
students here are talking about a boycott.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
What students probably just a handful of irresponsible scatter brain
trouble making old uh huh.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
One of the.
Speaker 15 (22:12):
Pupils who told me about it was named Harriet Conklin,
just the.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Type I had in mind, nothing but a scatter Harry farm.
Speaker 13 (22:22):
That's right, Os, good your own daughter.
Speaker 15 (22:24):
And it isn't just the students that are rebelling either.
I heard one of your teachers refer to the food
here as brutal. A teacher said that, uh huh, that'll
make a nice juicy headline too, Faculty member Sling's mudded
cafeteria hash.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Oh Madison.
Speaker 15 (22:41):
English teacher vilifies Victuals.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
Did you say, English teacher?
Speaker 10 (22:46):
I did.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Miss Brooks is the name.
Speaker 15 (22:48):
She's in this thing, as deep as any of them,
as deeply edited.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I told her, Look, now, there must be some way
we can straighten this on.
Speaker 6 (23:00):
I'll tell you what done, bo old boy, Yes, kiddo,
leat me in the cafeteria. In five minutes, we'll we'll
have lunch together. I was on my way down there
when you came in.
Speaker 15 (23:13):
All right, but where are you going?
Speaker 6 (23:15):
Now I'm going to find missus Brooks and make her
eat her words. Oh worse, I'll make her eat in
the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I'll see you in a little whild on barb.
Speaker 15 (23:24):
Oh, mister cochlan, before you go, you'd better slam that
safe again. Your letters is showing.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
What I That is the end of the story.
Speaker 10 (23:41):
But if he has a message under his belt, mister.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
Boyton, why don't you get another meatball under your belt
and forget the story?
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Ha, just because I thought, oh hello, mister Conklins conclaim,
don't hello me you you culprits.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Could tell you in a minute, Miss Brooks, I.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
Entrusted you with a mission, a simple mission that a
child could perform, and you failed me.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Instead of bringing me news of this insurrection, you joined it.
But I have no time for apologies.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
Now I want you to run down to the nearest
good restaurant and buy the best lunch that you can
and smuggle it into the cafeteria.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
What's that I smell? Oh it from this dish here
say that's a wonderful aroma.
Speaker 13 (24:26):
But of course, because it's my own recipe, de ViOn
dinnits years ashe de delicates, Oh there theform gots yours.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Meatball? Eh? Are they really good?
Speaker 10 (24:42):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yes, sir, they're wonderful. Well, that saves somebody a trip.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
Bring the whole plate up to the cafeteria immediately, Miss Brooks,
you are acquainted with mister Dunbar.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
I presume Dunbar, yes, we've mad.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Don't sound so innocent. According to him, you shot your
mouth off like it was the fourth of July.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
I'll get that food in the cafeteria immediately, immediately.
Speaker 15 (25:11):
Well, I must say that was the best food I've
ever had in or out of a school cafeteria.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Well, I wish you'd repeat that statement, Dunbar. I see
my daughter Harriet and her idiot consort approaching.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Oh, hello kid, How long, mister Dunbar? How long?
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Mister Well, mister Dunbar, you've cleaned your.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Plate, of course he has. The food was wonderful, wasn't it,
mister Dunbar?
Speaker 10 (25:32):
It certainly was.
Speaker 8 (25:33):
Oh that means we can call off the boycott.
Speaker 12 (25:35):
Why is it?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Do Daddy fire the sheef? Better than that? My dear,
look behind the steam table in order of meatballs, please one.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
Meatball coming up.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
In Barton returns in just a moment.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
But first dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look
after a luster cream shampoo only. Luster cream brings you
kdoom with magic formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle
Lanolin gives loveliness, lather even in hardest water. Glamorizes your
hair as.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
You wash it.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Luster Cream not a soap, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo leave's hair fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable. Gives new beauty to all
hairdoos or permanence four ounce jar, one dollar smaller sizes
either tube or jars. Tonight, try luster cream shampoo and.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Be a dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
You owe your cunning glory a lost recream Champo.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we would like to bring
to our microphone the Western editor of Radio Mirror Magazine,
Miss and Daggett.
Speaker 17 (27:20):
Thank you, mister Lehman. And as you know, the current
issue of Radio Mirror Magazine is now announcing the results
of its annual awards based on a pool of radio
listeners all over the country. It is my pleasant duty
to present this scroll in behalf of those listeners who
are elected as Radio's pump ranking comedian, Miss Eve Arden.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Thank you, Miss Daggott, and my sincere thanks also to
you listeners who made this award possible. I'd like to
say at this time that I'm certainly going to try
in the coming months to merit the honor you bestowed
upon me, because I understand that if I win this
scroll two years in a row, I get to keep
mister Boynton.
Speaker 16 (28:10):
Than you.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Turning to another ar, Miss brush Clow, brought you by
Parmali Cloak, Your Beauty Hope and Luster Cream Shampoo for soft, glamorous,
caressible hair Our Miss.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns, written
and directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch.
Mister Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conklin by
Gail Gordon. Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan,
Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Leonard Smith, Gerald Moore and Bill Conrad.
Speaker 6 (28:41):
Men, do you shave with a lather or brushless shaved cream?
Parmolive shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever way you
prefer to shave, you'll find that using either Parmelive brushless
or Parmolive lather shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Here's the proof.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Twenty five hundred and forty eight men tried the new
Pomolive way to shave described on the tube, and no
matter how they had shaved before, three out of every
four got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves. Get Parmalid brushless
or palm Olid lather shaving cream today.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Or Mystery Liberally sprinkled with laughs. Listen to Mystery and
Missus North, the exciting fun pact adventures of an amateur
detective and his beautiful wife.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Tune in Tuesday evenings.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Over most of these same stations and be with us
again next week at this time for another comedy episode
of our Miss.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
Brooks bab La mon Speaks. Listen to the Amba Broadcast
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