August 20, 2025 • 28 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Colgate Dental Green to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help top tooth decay. And Muster cream
shampoo for saft, glamorous, caressible hair.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bring you our Miss Brooks, Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our
Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well. They say that
March comes in like a lion and goes out like
a lamb. But our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at
Madison High School, has an amendment to this ancient bromide.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Yes, this year March and our beloved principle ozgud Conklin
both came in like lions, and last Wednesday morning, when
he summoned me to his office, I could tell by
the tone of his roar that he had gotten up
on the.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Wrong side of his cage.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
As I entered his office, however, I was thrown off
guard somewhat by his bluff and hearty manner. In fact,
his first two words to me were replete with camaraderie
and affection.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Sits down.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, Miss Brooks, I arrived at school this morning fifteen
minutes ahead of anyone else. As is my wote. It
certainly is and as I it certainly.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Is what your won't that is getting here fifteen minutes
ahead of anyone else is an old wont of yours. Yes, sir,
that one won't goes way back. I I've been working
for you for almost five years. I guess I know
as much about your different wonts as any teacher in
this party.
Speaker 6 (01:28):
Story, Sir.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
As I passed through the hall, I noticed one of
the classroom doors with a job. It was your room,
Miss Brooks. And as I reached in to close the door,
I saw your blackboards.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
They hadn't been stolen, no.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, but they hadn't been a race either. You know
very well, Miss Brooks, that it has long been a
strict rule in this institution that nothing is to remain
on the blackboards overnight.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Oh I know that, sir. But some of the students
must have made some notes after I left the room.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
You see, we've been studying the Shakespearean tragedies, and the
class is taking it with great enthusiasm.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Miss Brooks. I'm quite certain that the immortal Bard did
not tend the words I saw on your blackboard?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
What words, mister Conslin.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
One line said, and I quote old man Conklin is
a bird brain.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Oh that's impossible, sir.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
You misread the blackboard.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
What it probably said was the old king Lear is
a bird brain.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Old king Lear is a bird brain who would want
to write a thing like that.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
His daughters they hated his they did, They were very
mean to him.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Miss Brooks, I hold you responsible for the condition of
your blackboards, and remember it is from such petty beginning
that more dangerous aversive activities can step.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
I'll have a loyalty check before class.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Mister Conan.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Don't you think you're being unduly severe about a relatively
minor transgression?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Severe perhaps, but I challenge your use of the word unduly.
After all, I am the man to whom this entire
school looks for leadership. As your leader, I must be firm, decisive,
wielding my power with justice but authority.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yes, sire a, Sir, I know you're quite a stickler
for discipline, mister Conklin, and all of us on the
faculty try to cooperate, but sometimes.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Your manner is so stern and forbidding it makes it difficult.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that you
can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I don't want flies. I want teachers. I want teachers
with a wholesome respect for the inspiring mottos on which
I was brought up. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,
and these others here in my office. Read the one
on that wall, miss broke.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Yes, sir, only the hands of the strong can hold
the reins.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Of leadership, anow the one next.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
To it through power? Along can you command respect?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
How who that is?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
There seems to be a motto missing, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Which one today, Madison high tomorrow the world?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
The janitor broke that one while he was dusting, which
brings me to another assignment I have for you this morning.
I want you to see that my office is thoroughly
cleaned out. I've asked my daughter Harriet to send in
one of the boys to do the heavy work, and they'll, Oh,
good heavens, you'll probably send in that lame brained boyfriend
of hers water Denton.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
A wall isn't so bad, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
In fact, compared to his pals stretched noodgrass, his mentality
is positively.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I'm Steinian.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If only he wouldn't speak. That voice of his drives
me insane to shut.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
His age, mister Conklin, his voice is probably changing.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Well, it's a better hurry. That boy sounds like a
canary who has just caught a rancid batch of birds.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Seeds come in vegetations in self of the morning, Here, Principal.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Now that you're here, Denton, I'll be leaving Shortland. Don't
pay attention, and I'll tell you what I want done.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Yes, sir Terriot told me you're anticipating the national clean
up Pain that picks up campaign which.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Starts every spring.
Speaker 8 (05:27):
That is correct.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I'm a great boy for getting the jump on the
next fellow. Therefore, I want you to clean out all
the old piles you'll find in my closet. I haven't
touched them since I took over this office from my predecessor,
mister Darwell.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
So I remember, mister Darwell. There were times when we
all thought he was a real tyrant. Oh you did,
dear old mister Darwell.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
This pile contains nothing but a bunch of antiquated records
and correspondence kept by Darble for years. You, Denton, will
take them all out and destroy them.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yesir, burn them up.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
You are cinders.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Now I'm going on the tour of classroom inspection. I
haven't cracked the whip around here, and let's see now,
just how long has it been.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Yesterday when I came in them.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I received an exceptionally large batch of mail this morning,
Miss Brooks. While I'm gone, I want you to open
each and every letter, digested content, and if it is
not of sufficient importance to demand my personal attention, tear
it up.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
I'll rip it to pieces, destroy it.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I'll be merciless, hurl it in the basket.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I'll bash it with my bare fit.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I'm going now. Remember, let's get on the ball and favor.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
What am I feel?
Speaker 6 (06:57):
He's in a pretty bad mood this morning.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Isn't he even for here?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
But you better get busy cleaning out those.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Files, Walder, Yes, ma'am, they're right in this closet here. Gosh,
what a bunch of junks. I'll never be able to
sort this stuff alone. Will you give me a hand,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
I'd like to, Walder, but I've got to go through
the mail. Why don't you get stretched Snodgrass to help you.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Oh, he's working in the supply room this morning.
Speaker 7 (07:18):
He's supposed to be taking inventory before the clean up,
paint up, fix up.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
Campaign starts this spring.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It seems kind of early to me, me too.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
But mister Conklin's a great boy for getting the jump
on the other fellow.
Speaker 7 (07:29):
I know, I've seen him jump on some of the
other fellas.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Barrel Stretch will be lost down there.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Maybe i'd better look in on him and see how
he's doing.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I wish you would, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
He doesn't know how to take inventory. He probably doesn't
even know how to pronounce it stretch, stretch, snodgrass, Miss Brooks, how.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Are things in the supply room? Stretch? What?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I guess? But I already don't know what I'm supposed
to do here.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Didn't mister Knkor can't tell you what to do, no, ma'am.
Speaker 9 (08:01):
Not exactly When I got to school this morning, he
thought of Harriet handed me a memo from him which
just said, go to the supply room and take in venery.
But I'm on a spotman Brooks by, I can't find
no one's venery no place. On top of that, mister
(08:23):
Cockman just stopped buying balled me out something.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Awful balled you out.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What were you doing or wasn't doing nothing? I was
just standing here like a stick.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
Why does mister Cochlin stay hear you?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
He said, what's the idea standing there like a stick?
So I said, I ain't standing here like no stick.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So then he said, who's your English teacher?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
Boy?
Speaker 9 (08:41):
So right away I said, miss Brooks is my English teacher.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
That's coolish, thank.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
You see what it wasn't and took a bad mood.
I'd have told him what a foot I get out
of pick an English off here.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Right.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Sometimes sometimes I think I'd like to stay in your
class forever, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Sometimes I think you've got a very good chance, but stretch.
If you're not too busy at the moment, would you
please run down to mister Conklan's office and help Walter
them who clean out some old files.
Speaker 9 (09:17):
I'd be glad to help Waller out, Miss Brooks, But
mister Conkland told me to go from here to the
biology lab and tell mister Boyton to wash all the
cages preparatory to painting them. Yes, ma'am, it seems there's
some kind of campaign that starts in the spring.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
I'm familiar with it stretch. If you'll join Waller in
mister Conkland's office, I'll be happy to deliver your message
to mister Barnton.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Of course, before I go to the biology lab, I've
got to start my own campaign, you know, clean up,
fix up paint outs.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You're in your classroom, Miss Brooks classroom. Nothing me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
This truck starring Key Varden will continue in just a moment.
But first here is Vern Smith. No other dentiferus offers
proof of seft results.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Proof that Colgate natal cream helps stop tooth decay before
it starts.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Two years research at leading University using Coldgate danal cream,
hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof
in all danifrous history on tooth decays. Conclusive proof that
when teeth are brushed with coldgates right after eating Coldgate
nantal cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Yes,
the toothpaste you use to clean your breath while you
(10:33):
clean your teeth now offers a safe, proved way to
reduce tooth decays. Modern science shows decay is caused by
moth acids, which are at their worst right after eating.
Brushing teeth with colgates is directed helps remove acids before.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
They harm enamel.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Coldgate Nantal Cream has been proved to contain all the
necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented ingredients for effective daily
dental care. Get Coldgate Dental Cream today, Biggie Economy's Eyes
only fifty nine cents.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Always used Colgate Dental Green to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth, and help stop tooth de ka
before it starts. Remember no other Dentifriss offers proof of
such results. Well as our miss Brooks headed for the
biology lab.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Stretched Snodgrass joined his pal Walter Denton and mister Conklin's office.
They were cleaning out the files in the closet when
Walter came to an old letter from the Board of Education.
When he finished reading it, he grabbed stretched by the shoulders.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
He stretched free this letter.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Let's see, uh, you better read it to me.
Speaker 9 (11:38):
Water unsaved my eyes for baton practice, said Suddressed to.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Mister Darwealth when he was principal.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Here it says, dear sir, it has come to the
attention of the Board that you have been flavoredly dictatorial
in your dealings with the faculty.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
As well as the student body.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
As you know I approve of discipline, but your conduct
lately has been overboard before. Please be advised that if
you do not reverse your tyrannical methods at once, I
will be forced to convene the vote convene the board
to consider your immediate replacement as principle of Madison High.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Sincerely, Edgar ty Stone, Chairman.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Do you realize what that means? Stretch?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, mister Darwell better watch his step.
Speaker 7 (12:20):
Haven't been here for years, and mister Conklin could never
have seen this letter. It was buried under all kinds
of junks. Now all we gotta do is get some
glue and reseal the envelope. Luckily it's just address to
the Principal's office, Madison High.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
I can type in mister Conklin's name above it.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Why should we do that? Water so that.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Mister Conklin thinks she's gonna get the old heave brow
and start acting like a human being around here?
Speaker 6 (12:44):
Boy, this will be the rib of all time.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
Now, let meet that typewriter for a minute.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Eh, tell me that glue on the desk here? Water there?
Speaker 9 (12:57):
God said, see water, you got a mind like maclevelly.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I don't remember assigning two of you to this detail.
Oh what pat you were about to place on my desk, Stenton.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
Well, it's just a letter, sir. Miss Brooks gave it
to me. She didn't have time to open your mail yet, sir,
but I'm sure she'll be.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Going babbling and handing me that letter.
Speaker 9 (13:19):
Yes, I gotta be running along now one moment and
may have the more chores for you.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Boys outy with the Board of Education has today It
has come to the attention of the board that you
have been flagrantly dictatorial and your dealings. I'm also so boys,
(13:50):
it's better go now, Yes, sir, come on water we'll
see a letter.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Mister Cocker.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yes, maybe come in.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I appointed a student teacher to take charge of my
study period. Mister Conklin. Now I can get right to
your mail.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
One moment, Miss Books, before you sit down. Yeah, let
me dust that chair for you.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
That's better.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Now, are you sure you'll be comfortable in this chair?
I'd be happy to get you a cushion if you
want me to. It has always been my warmest desire
to make take the burdens off my teachers, make them
as light as possible. If you have any suggestions which
might help me achieve this desire. You have but to
(14:44):
mention them, and I am your willing slave. Your wish
is my command.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
I can't recall rubbing any lamps around here.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Now, you just forget about that nasty old correspondence of mine.
I was just teasing when I you'd have to go
through all, my mate, you'll you'll toddle on out to
the grounds and sun yourself for a while. Then when
lunchtime comes, meet mister Boyne. I know you're fond of him.
You have a nice leisurely luncheon together.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Yes, sir, I'll be happy to toddle along now. But
first there's just one question I'd like to ask.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
What is that?
Speaker 5 (15:21):
I don't know who you are, but what are you
doing with mister Conklin's head on? Here's a nice table
by the window.
Speaker 6 (15:39):
Mister boynhan, he's coming.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Miss Brooks say, cafeteria's pretty crowded to day.
Speaker 10 (15:43):
Here's your tray. I don't have much of an appetite myself.
In my second period, mister Conkland came into the lab
and brought me a bag of doughnuts and a bottle
of milk. You said, anyone who worked as diligently as
I did, needed more nourishment.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
That's funny.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
He insisted that I take a walk around the campus
and get some sun.
Speaker 8 (16:00):
You know what's gotten into the old? What's happened to
mister conkman.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Maybe he flipped flipped an undergraduate expression. I can't understand
this sudden metamorphisis myself.
Speaker 10 (16:11):
He started off the day by roaring into my lap
like a wounded bull elephant and asked me why my
cages weren't ready for the.
Speaker 8 (16:17):
Clean up, paint up, fixed up campaign.
Speaker 10 (16:19):
I tried to explain that I couldn't possibly paint them
because I didn't have any dutch boy.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Couldn't you use a brush instead?
Speaker 10 (16:28):
Dutch Boy is the name of the paint Miss Brooks.
But he wouldn't stand still for any explanations at all.
Just barck get it done and stormed out of the office.
Then less than an hour later he was back feeding
me donuts.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Well maybe he's just yellowing with age.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
I'm mellowing, mister Gorton. But could stretch and I sit
down at this table with you for a minute, I
suppose so, Walder.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Oh, it's glad to have you boy, and thanks mister Gorton.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
I've got some lowse for you, miss Brooks, that will
enhance the enjoyment of your lunch a thousand folds.
Speaker 6 (16:59):
But it's a deep Dutch.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
You and mister Boynton have both got to promise you
will free the word of this well, I promise.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
What's the secret water do you promise, miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Here's the fork takes some blood.
Speaker 9 (17:13):
It's about the letter mister Cocklan got from the Board
of Education saying for your place if he didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Stop back and so so flagrantly dictatorial in his methods. Yeah,
to both the faculty and students.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
What no wonder he's getting so sweet to us all day.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But suppose mister Conklin finds out the letters a phony,
a phone.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
A phone, not a loud.
Speaker 7 (17:33):
About the letter, it's perfectly legitimate, except that it was
sent to mister Darwell six years ago.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Mister Darwell, mister Conklin's predecessor.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah, mister Conklin's Yeah, I just like mister Conklin's.
Speaker 11 (17:49):
Name on the old envelope, glued it up. He came
in and read it and la a human being instead
of a ramrod. Don't look now, But the ex Ramrod
is bearing down on us, now you don't.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
We're in this thing together.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
I've gotta go pay cages.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
If you act.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Officiously now, we'll all be painting cages from the inside.
Speaker 6 (18:11):
Yeah, just relaxed, seeming like an equal. There's nothing you
can do about it.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Uh. What a happy side it is, teachers and pupils
breaking bread together.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Should you care to rip a hunk of toast with us?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Thanks?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I did want to chat with Miss Brooks for a moment.
If I'm not disturbing anything or not at all, sir,
please regard tark over here.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
Yo, law.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Thank you so much boy, Miss Brooks. As you know,
I am a great believer in the power of meekness
and humility. Therefore, in front of your friends, I come
to you hat in hand to seek a favor.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
Poor mister.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Father Mighty have fallen?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Quiet boys?
Speaker 6 (18:59):
What is it you want of me?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Mister Conklin, Miss Brooks, you have much influence with the
student body as well as the faculty. I wonder if
you could get them to see me in the same light.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
That you do.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Aren't you in enough trouble already?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
That is?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I know what you mean, Miss Brooks, and You're right.
I have acted the martinet at times, but it's only
because of those confounded mottos in my office. On every wall,
I'm confronted with signs spare the rod and spoil the child.
Respect through power law of the jungle. They gold one,
Miss Brooks, whipped one into a frenzy of ambition until
(19:33):
the real me is submerged, snowed under, suffocated.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Couldn't happen to a nicer god.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Why don't you get rid of some of those sides,
mister conclin Well, an excellent idea, mister Boynton. Perhaps I
could replace them with more humane and genteel parables. I'm
open to suggestions on that score as well.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
How about I have been a marble headed monster.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
That's very rude.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
On the contrary, Miss Brooks, it has quite a ring
to it. In fact, it might come in handy as
a reminder.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Mister Conry, please please, Miss Brooks, Well, if you say so, marblehead.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Museic to my ears. I've always been ready to criticize
others for their shortcomings. Perhaps if I had a list
of my own to refer to each morning, it would
help me be more tolerant. Do you think you could
compile one.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
It might take months.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh you Walter. Then, and you know, Miss Brooks, I
don't believe I've ever mentioned it before, but I love
this boy.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
I'm sure you do. Miss Taclan.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
I can tell by the way the veins stand out
in your neck when you.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Say, well, I'm serious about this list of my shortcomings,
Miss Brooks, I'll be deeply grateful if you bring a
list containing all your complaints to my office as soon
as possible. Now, remember, miss Brooks, don't try to stare
my feeling.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Give it to me.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
With both battles. You'll be helping me in the end.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
It's a contlent. I can't think of anything I'd rather
do with both barrels. Well, I've cleaned up those old
files for you, Dad.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Thank you, Harriet.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You're a dear sweet girl.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Do you feel all right, Daddy?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
As well as to be expected, Harriet, Let me.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Clean some of this junk off your guest.
Speaker 6 (21:27):
You don't need this.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Old letter anymore, do you?
Speaker 8 (21:29):
Old letter?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What old letter?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
This one from the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
The envelope is postmark nineteen forty four.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Nineteen forty four. Let's see that. Ah, they must have
taken this from mister Darbeles files and typed my name
on the envelope. What are you talking about, dare Harry
if your daddy has been the victim of a monumental hopes.
But now the shoe is on the other foot, and
(21:56):
believe me, this is the foot that knowed how to
use it. Keep the committee. I want to see them alone, Harriet,
Please leave by the other door.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
I'd better stay and see what it's all about them.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I don't care what you'd rather. I'm at the home
of the ship.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Go come in.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
We brought the.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Little reminder for your desk. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Oh, oh it's you, Miss Brooks. Forgive me for not
rising without my glasses. I didn't notice that the lady
had entered the room.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Which watch that, fellow.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Indeed, I will now if you will be kind enough
to read me your bill of particulars concerning my various infamy.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
We're all going to read some of it, mister Cocklan,
Will you begin, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Thank you, mister Barton.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Where have I our good conclent principle of Madison High School?
Desiring to improve relations between myself, the.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Faculty, and the student body.
Speaker 11 (22:55):
Your turn Walter, and you promise to keep the following
ever before me as a reminder of past sins of
which I am heartily ashamed, and which.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I ain't never gonna repict.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
No more.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Splendid, splendid please continue.
Speaker 6 (23:11):
Wait, do you hear this?
Speaker 4 (23:13):
I readily admit that on many occasions I have acted
like a pompous, puffed up, ill tempered, addle pated blow hard.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Forgive me, but it seems to me you've omitted maladjusted.
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Please don't interrupt.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
That's in the next paragraph.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Now where was I addle pated blowhard?
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Yes, aplitated blow hard.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
And on other occasions I have bellowed like a bull,
screamed like an elephant, just like a viper, snorted like
a buffalo, and otherwise exhibited the behavior of a maladjusted
nincome Fuo.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh there it is. Now, before you go any further,
I'd like you all to sign this document for me.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Oh we already have, mister Kantor.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Oh good, good. Then perhaps you'd be kind enough to
autograph this other manuscript sent from the Board of Education
in this postmark nineteen forty four and intended for my
unfortunate predecessor, who doubtless had to contend with just such
perfidious malcontents.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
As you, who stand quainting before me.
Speaker 12 (24:11):
This very moment, revoy the bridges of.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Barden as Alanus flux returns in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (24:31):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Crean.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Tonight, Yes tonight, show him how much lumplier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kadoma's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin better
than a soap, better than a liquid. Luster Cream is
(25:00):
a dainty cream shampoo. Lead's hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean,
free of blue dandruff, glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even
in hardest water. Luster cream lathers instantly, No special rent
needed after a luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream
is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes to night,
(25:23):
try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 12 (25:25):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You owe your crowning glory too a luster cream champoo.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Having expected a one way ticket to Devil's Islands, I
thought the punishment mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
Meeted out was comparatively just. However, it was after seven
o'clock that evening before I got home.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Right, Cannie, I was beginning to get worried about you.
We're in the world, you we know. All afternoon I.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Was doing a little writing, Missus Davis writing What were
you writing? Oh? I don't think you'd be interested.
Speaker 6 (26:06):
It's not your type of stuff. I'm interested in everything
you do, Connie. Please tell me all about it.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Well, if you insist, Missus Davis, but you'd better sit down,
this may take quite a while.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
No height, yes now, but to use that I wrote.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Our principle is the best principle of any school ever had.
Our principle is the best principle of.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Any school ever had. Art and principle is the best
principle of any.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
That's pull sing to another hour, Miss bookshow Brock who
by luster quan tamboo, the soft gramarous forressable hair, and
pull the cental cream. But clean your breath while you
clean your teeth and help stop tooth de kay our.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conklin by Gail Gordon.
Others the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Cranna, Gloria McMillan,
and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Doctors prove pomalive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion
in fourteen days. Yes thirty six leading skin specialists proved
in tests on twelve hundred eighty five different women that
pomalive soap facials using nothing but pomalive brought new complexion
beauty to two women out of three. Just wash your
face three times daily with palmalive soap, each time for
(27:32):
sixty seconds, messaging Pamlif's Beauty labber under your skin, then
rins so start your palmlive facials today. Remember, doctors prove
parmalive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs, listen to Mister and
missus Nort The exciting fun pact adventures of an amateur
detective and his beautiful wife soon him to the evening
over most of these same stations, and they with us
again next week at the same time or another comedy
episode of our Miss Brooks. Bob Lemon speaking, this is
again be on the broadcasting to the man
Colgate Dental Green to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help top tooth decay. And Muster cream
shampoo for saft, glamorous, caressible hair.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bring you our Miss Brooks, Darring Eve Arden.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
It's time once again for another comedy episode of Our
Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well. They say that
March comes in like a lion and goes out like
a lamb. But our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at
Madison High School, has an amendment to this ancient bromide.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Yes, this year March and our beloved principle ozgud Conklin
both came in like lions, and last Wednesday morning, when
he summoned me to his office, I could tell by
the tone of his roar that he had gotten up
on the.
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Wrong side of his cage.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
As I entered his office, however, I was thrown off
guard somewhat by his bluff and hearty manner. In fact,
his first two words to me were replete with camaraderie
and affection.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Sits down.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yes, Miss Brooks, I arrived at school this morning fifteen
minutes ahead of anyone else. As is my wote. It
certainly is and as I it certainly.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Is what your won't that is getting here fifteen minutes
ahead of anyone else is an old wont of yours. Yes, sir,
that one won't goes way back. I I've been working
for you for almost five years. I guess I know
as much about your different wonts as any teacher in
this party.
Speaker 6 (01:28):
Story, Sir.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
As I passed through the hall, I noticed one of
the classroom doors with a job. It was your room,
Miss Brooks. And as I reached in to close the door,
I saw your blackboards.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
They hadn't been stolen, no.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, but they hadn't been a race either. You know
very well, Miss Brooks, that it has long been a
strict rule in this institution that nothing is to remain
on the blackboards overnight.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
Oh I know that, sir. But some of the students
must have made some notes after I left the room.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
You see, we've been studying the Shakespearean tragedies, and the
class is taking it with great enthusiasm.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Miss Brooks. I'm quite certain that the immortal Bard did
not tend the words I saw on your blackboard?
Speaker 5 (02:11):
What words, mister Conslin.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
One line said, and I quote old man Conklin is
a bird brain.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Oh that's impossible, sir.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
You misread the blackboard.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
What it probably said was the old king Lear is
a bird brain.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Old king Lear is a bird brain who would want
to write a thing like that.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
His daughters they hated his they did, They were very
mean to him.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Miss Brooks, I hold you responsible for the condition of
your blackboards, and remember it is from such petty beginning
that more dangerous aversive activities can step.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
I'll have a loyalty check before class.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Mister Conan.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Don't you think you're being unduly severe about a relatively
minor transgression?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Severe perhaps, but I challenge your use of the word unduly.
After all, I am the man to whom this entire
school looks for leadership. As your leader, I must be firm, decisive,
wielding my power with justice but authority.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yes, sire a, Sir, I know you're quite a stickler
for discipline, mister Conklin, and all of us on the
faculty try to cooperate, but sometimes.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Your manner is so stern and forbidding it makes it difficult.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that you
can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I don't want flies. I want teachers. I want teachers
with a wholesome respect for the inspiring mottos on which
I was brought up. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,
and these others here in my office. Read the one
on that wall, miss broke.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Yes, sir, only the hands of the strong can hold
the reins.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Of leadership, anow the one next.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
To it through power? Along can you command respect?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
How who that is?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
There seems to be a motto missing, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Which one today, Madison high tomorrow the world?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
The janitor broke that one while he was dusting, which
brings me to another assignment I have for you this morning.
I want you to see that my office is thoroughly
cleaned out. I've asked my daughter Harriet to send in
one of the boys to do the heavy work, and they'll, Oh,
good heavens, you'll probably send in that lame brained boyfriend
of hers water Denton.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
A wall isn't so bad, mister Conklin.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
In fact, compared to his pals stretched noodgrass, his mentality
is positively.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I'm Steinian.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If only he wouldn't speak. That voice of his drives
me insane to shut.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
His age, mister Conklin, his voice is probably changing.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Well, it's a better hurry. That boy sounds like a
canary who has just caught a rancid batch of birds.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Seeds come in vegetations in self of the morning, Here, Principal.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Now that you're here, Denton, I'll be leaving Shortland. Don't
pay attention, and I'll tell you what I want done.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
Yes, sir Terriot told me you're anticipating the national clean
up Pain that picks up campaign which.
Speaker 6 (05:26):
Starts every spring.
Speaker 8 (05:27):
That is correct.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I'm a great boy for getting the jump on the
next fellow. Therefore, I want you to clean out all
the old piles you'll find in my closet. I haven't
touched them since I took over this office from my predecessor,
mister Darwell.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
So I remember, mister Darwell. There were times when we
all thought he was a real tyrant. Oh you did,
dear old mister Darwell.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
This pile contains nothing but a bunch of antiquated records
and correspondence kept by Darble for years. You, Denton, will
take them all out and destroy them.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yesir, burn them up.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
You are cinders.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Now I'm going on the tour of classroom inspection. I
haven't cracked the whip around here, and let's see now,
just how long has it been.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Yesterday when I came in them.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I received an exceptionally large batch of mail this morning,
Miss Brooks. While I'm gone, I want you to open
each and every letter, digested content, and if it is
not of sufficient importance to demand my personal attention, tear
it up.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
I'll rip it to pieces, destroy it.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
I'll be merciless, hurl it in the basket.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
I'll bash it with my bare fit.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I'm going now. Remember, let's get on the ball and favor.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
What am I feel?
Speaker 6 (06:57):
He's in a pretty bad mood this morning.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Isn't he even for here?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
But you better get busy cleaning out those.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
Files, Walder, Yes, ma'am, they're right in this closet here. Gosh,
what a bunch of junks. I'll never be able to
sort this stuff alone. Will you give me a hand,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
I'd like to, Walder, but I've got to go through
the mail. Why don't you get stretched Snodgrass to help you.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Oh, he's working in the supply room this morning.
Speaker 7 (07:18):
He's supposed to be taking inventory before the clean up,
paint up, fix up.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
Campaign starts this spring.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It seems kind of early to me, me too.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
But mister Conklin's a great boy for getting the jump
on the other fellow.
Speaker 7 (07:29):
I know, I've seen him jump on some of the
other fellas.
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Barrel Stretch will be lost down there.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Maybe i'd better look in on him and see how
he's doing.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I wish you would, miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
He doesn't know how to take inventory. He probably doesn't
even know how to pronounce it stretch, stretch, snodgrass, Miss Brooks, how.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Are things in the supply room? Stretch? What?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I guess? But I already don't know what I'm supposed
to do here.
Speaker 5 (07:59):
Didn't mister Knkor can't tell you what to do, no, ma'am.
Speaker 9 (08:01):
Not exactly When I got to school this morning, he
thought of Harriet handed me a memo from him which
just said, go to the supply room and take in venery.
But I'm on a spotman Brooks by, I can't find
no one's venery no place. On top of that, mister
(08:23):
Cockman just stopped buying balled me out something.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Awful balled you out.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
What were you doing or wasn't doing nothing? I was
just standing here like a stick.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
Why does mister Cochlin stay hear you?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
He said, what's the idea standing there like a stick?
So I said, I ain't standing here like no stick.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So then he said, who's your English teacher?
Speaker 6 (08:41):
Boy?
Speaker 9 (08:41):
So right away I said, miss Brooks is my English teacher.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
That's coolish, thank.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
You see what it wasn't and took a bad mood.
I'd have told him what a foot I get out
of pick an English off here.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Right.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Sometimes sometimes I think I'd like to stay in your
class forever, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Sometimes I think you've got a very good chance, but stretch.
If you're not too busy at the moment, would you
please run down to mister Conklan's office and help Walter
them who clean out some old files.
Speaker 9 (09:17):
I'd be glad to help Waller out, Miss Brooks, But
mister Conkland told me to go from here to the
biology lab and tell mister Boyton to wash all the
cages preparatory to painting them. Yes, ma'am, it seems there's
some kind of campaign that starts in the spring.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
I'm familiar with it stretch. If you'll join Waller in
mister Conkland's office, I'll be happy to deliver your message
to mister Barnton.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Of course, before I go to the biology lab, I've
got to start my own campaign, you know, clean up,
fix up paint outs.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You're in your classroom, Miss Brooks classroom. Nothing me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
This truck starring Key Varden will continue in just a moment.
But first here is Vern Smith. No other dentiferus offers
proof of seft results.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Proof that Colgate natal cream helps stop tooth decay before
it starts.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Two years research at leading University using Coldgate danal cream,
hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof
in all danifrous history on tooth decays. Conclusive proof that
when teeth are brushed with coldgates right after eating Coldgate
nantal cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts. Yes,
the toothpaste you use to clean your breath while you
(10:33):
clean your teeth now offers a safe, proved way to
reduce tooth decays. Modern science shows decay is caused by
moth acids, which are at their worst right after eating.
Brushing teeth with colgates is directed helps remove acids before.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
They harm enamel.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Coldgate Nantal Cream has been proved to contain all the
necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented ingredients for effective daily
dental care. Get Coldgate Dental Cream today, Biggie Economy's Eyes
only fifty nine cents.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Always used Colgate Dental Green to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth, and help stop tooth de ka
before it starts. Remember no other Dentifriss offers proof of
such results. Well as our miss Brooks headed for the
biology lab.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Stretched Snodgrass joined his pal Walter Denton and mister Conklin's office.
They were cleaning out the files in the closet when
Walter came to an old letter from the Board of Education.
When he finished reading it, he grabbed stretched by the shoulders.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
He stretched free this letter.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Let's see, uh, you better read it to me.
Speaker 9 (11:38):
Water unsaved my eyes for baton practice, said Suddressed to.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Mister Darwealth when he was principal.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Here it says, dear sir, it has come to the
attention of the Board that you have been flavoredly dictatorial
in your dealings with the faculty.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
As well as the student body.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
As you know I approve of discipline, but your conduct
lately has been overboard before. Please be advised that if
you do not reverse your tyrannical methods at once, I
will be forced to convene the vote convene the board
to consider your immediate replacement as principle of Madison High.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Sincerely, Edgar ty Stone, Chairman.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Do you realize what that means? Stretch?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, mister Darwell better watch his step.
Speaker 7 (12:20):
Haven't been here for years, and mister Conklin could never
have seen this letter. It was buried under all kinds
of junks. Now all we gotta do is get some
glue and reseal the envelope. Luckily it's just address to
the Principal's office, Madison High.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
I can type in mister Conklin's name above it.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Why should we do that? Water so that.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Mister Conklin thinks she's gonna get the old heave brow
and start acting like a human being around here?
Speaker 6 (12:44):
Boy, this will be the rib of all time.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
Now, let meet that typewriter for a minute.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Eh, tell me that glue on the desk here? Water there?
Speaker 9 (12:57):
God said, see water, you got a mind like maclevelly.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
I don't remember assigning two of you to this detail.
Oh what pat you were about to place on my desk, Stenton.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
Well, it's just a letter, sir. Miss Brooks gave it
to me. She didn't have time to open your mail yet, sir,
but I'm sure she'll be.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Going babbling and handing me that letter.
Speaker 9 (13:19):
Yes, I gotta be running along now one moment and
may have the more chores for you.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Boys outy with the Board of Education has today It
has come to the attention of the board that you
have been flagrantly dictatorial and your dealings. I'm also so boys,
(13:50):
it's better go now, Yes, sir, come on water we'll
see a letter.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Mister Cocker.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yes, maybe come in.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I appointed a student teacher to take charge of my
study period. Mister Conklin. Now I can get right to
your mail.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
One moment, Miss Books, before you sit down. Yeah, let
me dust that chair for you.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
That's better.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Now, are you sure you'll be comfortable in this chair?
I'd be happy to get you a cushion if you
want me to. It has always been my warmest desire
to make take the burdens off my teachers, make them
as light as possible. If you have any suggestions which
might help me achieve this desire. You have but to
(14:44):
mention them, and I am your willing slave. Your wish
is my command.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
I can't recall rubbing any lamps around here.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Now, you just forget about that nasty old correspondence of mine.
I was just teasing when I you'd have to go
through all, my mate, you'll you'll toddle on out to
the grounds and sun yourself for a while. Then when
lunchtime comes, meet mister Boyne. I know you're fond of him.
You have a nice leisurely luncheon together.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Yes, sir, I'll be happy to toddle along now. But
first there's just one question I'd like to ask.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
What is that?
Speaker 5 (15:21):
I don't know who you are, but what are you
doing with mister Conklin's head on? Here's a nice table
by the window.
Speaker 6 (15:39):
Mister boynhan, he's coming.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Miss Brooks say, cafeteria's pretty crowded to day.
Speaker 10 (15:43):
Here's your tray. I don't have much of an appetite myself.
In my second period, mister Conkland came into the lab
and brought me a bag of doughnuts and a bottle
of milk. You said, anyone who worked as diligently as
I did, needed more nourishment.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
That's funny.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
He insisted that I take a walk around the campus
and get some sun.
Speaker 8 (16:00):
You know what's gotten into the old? What's happened to
mister conkman.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Maybe he flipped flipped an undergraduate expression. I can't understand
this sudden metamorphisis myself.
Speaker 10 (16:11):
He started off the day by roaring into my lap
like a wounded bull elephant and asked me why my
cages weren't ready for the.
Speaker 8 (16:17):
Clean up, paint up, fixed up campaign.
Speaker 10 (16:19):
I tried to explain that I couldn't possibly paint them
because I didn't have any dutch boy.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Couldn't you use a brush instead?
Speaker 10 (16:28):
Dutch Boy is the name of the paint Miss Brooks.
But he wouldn't stand still for any explanations at all.
Just barck get it done and stormed out of the office.
Then less than an hour later he was back feeding
me donuts.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Well maybe he's just yellowing with age.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
I'm mellowing, mister Gorton. But could stretch and I sit
down at this table with you for a minute, I
suppose so, Walder.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Oh, it's glad to have you boy, and thanks mister Gorton.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
I've got some lowse for you, miss Brooks, that will
enhance the enjoyment of your lunch a thousand folds.
Speaker 6 (16:59):
But it's a deep Dutch.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
You and mister Boynton have both got to promise you
will free the word of this well, I promise.
Speaker 6 (17:05):
What's the secret water do you promise, miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Here's the fork takes some blood.
Speaker 9 (17:13):
It's about the letter mister Cocklan got from the Board
of Education saying for your place if he didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Stop back and so so flagrantly dictatorial in his methods. Yeah,
to both the faculty and students.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
What no wonder he's getting so sweet to us all day.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But suppose mister Conklin finds out the letters a phony,
a phone.
Speaker 10 (17:29):
A phone, not a loud.
Speaker 7 (17:33):
About the letter, it's perfectly legitimate, except that it was
sent to mister Darwell six years ago.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
Mister Darwell, mister Conklin's predecessor.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Yeah, mister Conklin's Yeah, I just like mister Conklin's.
Speaker 11 (17:49):
Name on the old envelope, glued it up. He came
in and read it and la a human being instead
of a ramrod. Don't look now, But the ex Ramrod
is bearing down on us, now you don't.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
We're in this thing together.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
I've gotta go pay cages.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
If you act.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Officiously now, we'll all be painting cages from the inside.
Speaker 6 (18:11):
Yeah, just relaxed, seeming like an equal. There's nothing you
can do about it.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Uh. What a happy side it is, teachers and pupils
breaking bread together.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Should you care to rip a hunk of toast with us?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Thanks?
Speaker 6 (18:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
I did want to chat with Miss Brooks for a moment.
If I'm not disturbing anything or not at all, sir,
please regard tark over here.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
Yo, law.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Thank you so much boy, Miss Brooks. As you know,
I am a great believer in the power of meekness
and humility. Therefore, in front of your friends, I come
to you hat in hand to seek a favor.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
Poor mister.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Father Mighty have fallen?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Quiet boys?
Speaker 6 (18:59):
What is it you want of me?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Mister Conklin, Miss Brooks, you have much influence with the
student body as well as the faculty. I wonder if
you could get them to see me in the same light.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
That you do.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Aren't you in enough trouble already?
Speaker 4 (19:12):
That is?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
I know what you mean, Miss Brooks, and You're right.
I have acted the martinet at times, but it's only
because of those confounded mottos in my office. On every wall,
I'm confronted with signs spare the rod and spoil the child.
Respect through power law of the jungle. They gold one,
Miss Brooks, whipped one into a frenzy of ambition until
(19:33):
the real me is submerged, snowed under, suffocated.
Speaker 5 (19:37):
Couldn't happen to a nicer god.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Why don't you get rid of some of those sides,
mister conclin Well, an excellent idea, mister Boynton. Perhaps I
could replace them with more humane and genteel parables. I'm
open to suggestions on that score as well.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
How about I have been a marble headed monster.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
That's very rude.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
On the contrary, Miss Brooks, it has quite a ring
to it. In fact, it might come in handy as
a reminder.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
Mister Conry, please please, Miss Brooks, Well, if you say so, marblehead.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Museic to my ears. I've always been ready to criticize
others for their shortcomings. Perhaps if I had a list
of my own to refer to each morning, it would
help me be more tolerant. Do you think you could
compile one.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
It might take months.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Oh you Walter. Then, and you know, Miss Brooks, I
don't believe I've ever mentioned it before, but I love
this boy.
Speaker 5 (20:43):
I'm sure you do. Miss Taclan.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
I can tell by the way the veins stand out
in your neck when you.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Say, well, I'm serious about this list of my shortcomings,
Miss Brooks, I'll be deeply grateful if you bring a
list containing all your complaints to my office as soon
as possible. Now, remember, miss Brooks, don't try to stare
my feeling.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Give it to me.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
With both battles. You'll be helping me in the end.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
It's a contlent. I can't think of anything I'd rather
do with both barrels. Well, I've cleaned up those old
files for you, Dad.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Thank you, Harriet.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You're a dear sweet girl.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Do you feel all right, Daddy?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
As well as to be expected, Harriet, Let me.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Clean some of this junk off your guest.
Speaker 6 (21:27):
You don't need this.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Old letter anymore, do you?
Speaker 8 (21:29):
Old letter?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
What old letter?
Speaker 6 (21:31):
This one from the Board of Education.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
The envelope is postmark nineteen forty four.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Nineteen forty four. Let's see that. Ah, they must have
taken this from mister Darbeles files and typed my name
on the envelope. What are you talking about, dare Harry
if your daddy has been the victim of a monumental hopes.
But now the shoe is on the other foot, and
(21:56):
believe me, this is the foot that knowed how to
use it. Keep the committee. I want to see them alone, Harriet,
Please leave by the other door.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
I'd better stay and see what it's all about them.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I don't care what you'd rather. I'm at the home
of the ship.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Go come in.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
We brought the.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Little reminder for your desk. Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Oh, oh it's you, Miss Brooks. Forgive me for not
rising without my glasses. I didn't notice that the lady
had entered the room.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Which watch that, fellow.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Indeed, I will now if you will be kind enough
to read me your bill of particulars concerning my various infamy.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
We're all going to read some of it, mister Cocklan,
Will you begin, Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (22:46):
Thank you, mister Barton.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Where have I our good conclent principle of Madison High School?
Desiring to improve relations between myself, the.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Faculty, and the student body.
Speaker 11 (22:55):
Your turn Walter, and you promise to keep the following
ever before me as a reminder of past sins of
which I am heartily ashamed, and which.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I ain't never gonna repict.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
No more.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Splendid, splendid please continue.
Speaker 6 (23:11):
Wait, do you hear this?
Speaker 4 (23:13):
I readily admit that on many occasions I have acted
like a pompous, puffed up, ill tempered, addle pated blow hard.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Forgive me, but it seems to me you've omitted maladjusted.
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Please don't interrupt.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
That's in the next paragraph.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Now where was I addle pated blowhard?
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Yes, aplitated blow hard.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
And on other occasions I have bellowed like a bull,
screamed like an elephant, just like a viper, snorted like
a buffalo, and otherwise exhibited the behavior of a maladjusted
nincome Fuo.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh there it is. Now, before you go any further,
I'd like you all to sign this document for me.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Oh we already have, mister Kantor.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Oh good, good. Then perhaps you'd be kind enough to
autograph this other manuscript sent from the Board of Education
in this postmark nineteen forty four and intended for my
unfortunate predecessor, who doubtless had to contend with just such
perfidious malcontents.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
As you, who stand quainting before me.
Speaker 12 (24:11):
This very moment, revoy the bridges of.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Barden as Alanus flux returns in just a moment.
Speaker 12 (24:31):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Crean.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Tonight, Yes tonight, show him how much lumplier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kadoma's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin better
than a soap, better than a liquid. Luster Cream is
(25:00):
a dainty cream shampoo. Lead's hair three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean,
free of blue dandruff, glistening with sheen, soft, manageable even
in hardest water. Luster cream lathers instantly, No special rent
needed after a luster cream shampoo, so gentle luster cream
is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight, Yes to night,
(25:23):
try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 12 (25:25):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
You owe your crowning glory too a luster cream champoo.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Having expected a one way ticket to Devil's Islands, I
thought the punishment mister Conklin.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
Meeted out was comparatively just. However, it was after seven
o'clock that evening before I got home.
Speaker 6 (25:55):
Right, Cannie, I was beginning to get worried about you.
We're in the world, you we know. All afternoon I.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Was doing a little writing, Missus Davis writing What were
you writing? Oh? I don't think you'd be interested.
Speaker 6 (26:06):
It's not your type of stuff. I'm interested in everything
you do, Connie. Please tell me all about it.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Well, if you insist, Missus Davis, but you'd better sit down,
this may take quite a while.
Speaker 5 (26:17):
No height, yes now, but to use that I wrote.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
Our principle is the best principle of any school ever had.
Our principle is the best principle of.
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Any school ever had. Art and principle is the best
principle of any.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
That's pull sing to another hour, Miss bookshow Brock who
by luster quan tamboo, the soft gramarous forressable hair, and
pull the cental cream. But clean your breath while you
clean your teeth and help stop tooth de kay our.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch. Mister
Boynton is played by Jeff Chandler, Mister Conklin by Gail Gordon.
Others the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Cranna, Gloria McMillan,
and Leonard Smith.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Doctors prove pomalive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion
in fourteen days. Yes thirty six leading skin specialists proved
in tests on twelve hundred eighty five different women that
pomalive soap facials using nothing but pomalive brought new complexion
beauty to two women out of three. Just wash your
face three times daily with palmalive soap, each time for
(27:32):
sixty seconds, messaging Pamlif's Beauty labber under your skin, then
rins so start your palmlive facials today. Remember, doctors prove
parmalive soap can bring you a lovelier complexion in fourteen days.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs, listen to Mister and
missus Nort The exciting fun pact adventures of an amateur
detective and his beautiful wife soon him to the evening
over most of these same stations, and they with us
again next week at the same time or another comedy
episode of our Miss Brooks. Bob Lemon speaking, this is
again be on the broadcasting to the man
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.