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August 18, 2025 • 29 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
On my life.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
So your beauty Hope and Luster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous,
caressible hair, bring you our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden.
Our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School,

(00:23):
is as fond of sports as most of us, but
somehow basketball was never one of her favorites.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
It isn't that I don't like basketball, I just hate it.
This aversion started when I was refereeing a game in
Teachers College, and in the excitement, I swallowed the whistle.
Of course, it was only a small whistle, but it
gets pretty embarrassing when every time you hiccup, traffic stops. Anyway,

(00:53):
last Wednesday morning, Missus Davis, my landlady, woke me a
full hour earlier than usual. She told me that Walter had,
the manager of the basketball team, was waiting to see
me in the living room. If I could have had
one free throw, I'd have thrown him out and gone
back to sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Missus Davis wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (01:10):
Let me come on now, Connie, the boy seems very
concerned about something. You got to see him.

Speaker 5 (01:15):
Poor missus Davis.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Where's my robe?

Speaker 4 (01:18):
I send it out to the laundry. Connie, here, I
brought you on a mine to where this was part
of my trousseau. I took it along on my honeymoon.
We had a wonderful.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Honeymoon, just you and the bathrobe.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
No, my husband was along, Kevins.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Didn't people talk? You just love this robe.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
It's beautiful material, isn't he lovely?

Speaker 1 (01:44):
What is it exactly? Missus Davis? Ostrich feathers over seersucker, No.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Dear, it's satin, and that big feather boy is born
around the neck. You sleep it all. See now you
throw this bowl around your neck? So how do you
like it?

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Connie? Very tasty?

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Come on out into the living room, Connie. Walter's anxious
to talk to you.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
All right, But I don't know why he has to
drop around in the middle of the night like this.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
We are, Walter, Why if you're chatting to Miss Brooks.
I'll fix us all aboute the breaks?

Speaker 6 (02:19):
Oh thanks, missus Davis. Greetings, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
I'll bring you out so early. Paul Revere, the British one.

Speaker 6 (02:27):
They're calling these back if normally your witticisms would tickle
my risibilities, Miss Brooks, but this morning I've got to
talk to you about something that's where did you go.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
This boa just blew across my That's what is your
problem this morning?

Speaker 6 (02:48):
Well, it's not really my problem, miss Brooks. That is
it isn't my personal problem. But as the manager of
the basketball team, I'm in big trouble.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Is something wrong with the team, Walter?

Speaker 4 (02:58):
Oh, not the whole team, Miss Brooks. It's well, it's
just stretch.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
All right there now, it's the trouble.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
And you don't understand, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (03:10):
Stretches our star player, one of the best forwards we've
ever had, and he may not be eligible for the
big game with clay City High tonight. And that's why
you've got to get in there and pitch.

Speaker 5 (03:19):
Well.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
I'd love to help out, Walder, but I'm afraid my
middy blocks and bloomers must be moth eaten by now.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Now here's what better blow again. Miss Brooks's back.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Thanks Walter.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
I great snook you two.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Everything's ready coming, Missus Davis. We can continue this later on, Walter,
come on, let's eat well.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
I had breakfast before I left the house.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh then would you rather wait in the living room?

Speaker 4 (03:43):
Oh no, that was over a half hour ago.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Hi, missus Davis.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Where do you want me to sit?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (03:48):
It, just sit right down here on my left walk me. Now,
would you like some eggs after you've eaten your oat meal?

Speaker 6 (03:56):
As I just told Miss Brooks, I already had some
eggs and oatmeal at home. Oh see, so I'll just
have some French toasts.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
You must come over for dinner some night. After you've
had dinner.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Time, make you some in the jiffy? Does drink your
juice meantime?

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Say this orange juice tastes rather peculiar, and.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
That's because you're drinking it through that boa. Better blow again.
Thanks now to get back to my dilemma, Miss Brooks, shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
We delemb after breakfast?

Speaker 6 (04:24):
Walter, I'm sorry to body you like this, but I'm
afraid it's imperative.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
You see, mister Conklin's made a.

Speaker 6 (04:30):
Rule that anybody who fails a subject is ineligible for
any sports until he's passed the first test of the
new semester in the subject which he failed. And Stretch
failed last term. So so with a teacher Stretch has
an English who's giving him the test this term, he
doesn't stand a chance of passing.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Who has he in English?

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Ho, lady Enright, I mean miss Enright.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Oh, I'm sure miss Enright's a very capable teacher.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Really, we are some nice French toast. I made it
from a famous Turkish recipe.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
The Turkish recipe.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Yes, the Turks are famous for their French toast.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
You know they are, of course they are, Walder. You
should taste their Chinese cumquads.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
Can I have Walden?

Speaker 6 (05:14):
I don't want to stuff myself, Missus Davis. Those three
pieces on the end will be plenty. And now about
miss Enright now, I don't think it's fair for her
to give Stretch a test. I heard she was jilded
by a basketball player years ago.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Walter, you shouldn't talk that way about miss Enright.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Just because someone doesn't reciprocate the affection of someone who's
fond of them doesn't make the person who's fond of
someone a monster. And I got that sentence from an
old Turkish recipe, famous Brooks speaking of someone not reciprocating
someone's affection.

Speaker 4 (05:45):
Have you heard from mister Boynton lately?

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Ouch, get those punches up, Walder. Let's forget about mister
Boyton for now. Just what is it you want me
to do?

Speaker 7 (05:54):
Well?

Speaker 6 (05:55):
I was talking this over with Harriet Conklin and we
decided to get Stretched transferred out of miss nil Rights class.
Of course, this means somebody's got to work on Harriet's
old man.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
Look, Walter, Harriet's father happens to be our principal. You
will kindly refer to him as mister compline.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
Im sorry, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 6 (06:11):
Well, Harriet and Iron Stretch are supposed to meet at
school this morning, and that's why I'm here so early
to discuss getting Stretched out of Miss Enright's class and
into yours into mine.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
But you know how prouded my class is now? Every
time I enter my room it looks like payoff night
at a pyramid club.

Speaker 6 (06:31):
Carmis Brooks, we got a hurry down to school and
meet Harriet. Now there must be a way to get
Stretch into your class, so you can give him the
test while I, as manager of the team, sit across
the aisle from him and give him moral support.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Are you sure that's all you'd give him?

Speaker 6 (06:46):
I just want Stretch to feel at home. He's not
very good in English, and who well with me there?
Maybe get more confidence, confidence based on the mere proximity
to one which in the same subject has always flourished
so startlingly.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
If anybody sits near stretch had better be Harriet.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
She at least speaks English.

Speaker 6 (07:04):
But she's so honest in tests. I mean she has
the most peculiar way of holding her left hand. When
she's writing down answers. All you can see is her elbow.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Oh buy her trying to copy from her?

Speaker 5 (07:16):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (07:16):
No, of course not.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
It was just a coincidence that after the final exam's
last term your neck was so.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Far out of joint you looked like a Balinese dancer.

Speaker 5 (07:26):
No. There.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
As much as I'd like to help you kids, I can,
And the less I see of mister Conklin for a while,
the better the win, Miss Brooks, because mister Conklin holds
me responsible for what happened last week. Remember the fire
in mister Boyton's laboratory which started when the circuit was
overloaded after I plugged in an electric heater that belonged
to mister Conklord.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
What is that?

Speaker 3 (07:44):
And then the fireman had to tear down the wall,
and they thought mister Conklin was stuck in the heater vent,
which he wasn't because he was locked in the stock room.
And I slammed the door on it. And whose fault
was that?

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yours?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
That's what I like, A nice orderly mind. Come on.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Hand.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
So you've seen Miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Without stretch on the team would probably lose the biggest
game of the year. But what can I do about it?

Speaker 8 (08:13):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (08:13):
I told you, Miss Brooks, you can work on Harriet's
old man, Walter, I.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Told you not to use that expression.

Speaker 6 (08:19):
Okay, mister conflict, But gosh, other kids have been transferred
to other classes.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Yes, but not for such a thin reason. Just to
win a basketball game is that reason.

Speaker 6 (08:28):
This is a clay City game, And it wouldn't be
so bad if the coach hadn't taken sick yesterday.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
The coach is sick too, desperately. This is the saddest
thing since humor esque.

Speaker 6 (08:41):
Fortunately, we have an ex basketball star teaching here who's
been made temporary coach.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
But it would just break his heart if he lost
his first game.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Who is this coach, Harriet?

Speaker 6 (08:50):
Mister Boyton, mister Boyton, are you sure positive?

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Well, don't stand there, girl, We've got to go to
work on your old man.

Speaker 7 (09:08):
All This book.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Starring Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, But first,
here is Verne Smith want to win forty.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Nine thousand dollars in cash. That's right, forty nine thousand.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Dollars in cash the first prize offered by the makers
of Palmali Soap in their big exciting forty nine gold
Rush Contest. Second prize four thousand, nine hundred dollars, and
there are nine hundred forty nine other cash prizes.

Speaker 8 (09:31):
What a chance to win one hundred thousand dollars in
cash prizes?

Speaker 7 (09:35):
And it's easy to enter.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Simply finish this sentence.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I like Palmali soap because in twenty five words or less.

Speaker 7 (09:42):
That's all.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Just twenty five words or less to finish the sentence.
I like Palmaly Soap because then mail your entry right
away with a Palmali Soap wrapper.

Speaker 5 (09:51):
Easy, isn't it?

Speaker 2 (09:52):
And remember thousands will strike it rich in this big
forty nine gold Rush contest. Enter as often as you like.
Get entry blanks and complete rules from your dealer, or
send your entries on plane paper with your name and
address and dealer's name and address plus one Pomali rapper
for each entry. Mail to gold Rush Contest Box forty nine,
New York Ate, New York. You better write that down

(10:14):
gold Rush Contest Box forty nine.

Speaker 5 (10:17):
New York eight, New York.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yet Pomali soap right away to help win a lovelier
complexion and try for your share of the one hundred
thousand dollars in cash prizes.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Well, I realized that some ancient gossip about miss Enwright's
prejudice against basketball players would never cause mister Conklin to
give Stretch a transfer. But after a brief council of
war during study period, I hit upon what seemed like a.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Pretty good plan.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
I would tell mister Conflin that the boy was unhappy
in his class because his fellow students were picking on him.
As I told Walter and Harriet, in a democratically operated
high school, no boy should be forced to remain and
surroundings that are not conducive to his getting the most
out of the school curriculum.

Speaker 6 (11:04):
Bravo, Miss Brook's Bravo, Yeah, bravo, what did you say?

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Now when Stretch gets here, we'll have to find out
just what annoys him the most in his English class.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
Oh that's him, now, Command Stretch, High Stretch, you know
miss Brooks.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Hi, Hi, we haven't too much time, so I'll come
right to the point, what bothers you in miss Enright's class?

Speaker 5 (11:28):
Bothers me?

Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah? How they treat you terrible?

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Don't they?

Speaker 9 (11:31):
The other kids, I mean the other kids.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
They pick on you and call you names, don't they names?

Speaker 1 (11:47):
This is the most backward forward I ever member.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
Look, the kids do call you one name. We all
know about Stretch. Now, why do you suppose they tacked
that on you?

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 10 (11:58):
Maybe it's because I weigh a undred and twelve pounds
and I'm six foot five.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
Serves me right for getting over the flu last year.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
Look, we're trying to help you become eligible for the
clay City game. You want to play in it, don't you?

Speaker 9 (12:13):
I sure do, Miss Brooks. There isn't anything I wouldn't
do it.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
Then keep quiet and listen.

Speaker 9 (12:17):
Sorry, Walter, go ahead, and Miss.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Brooks, well, first of all, I hate nicknames. What's your
real name?

Speaker 9 (12:23):
Babyan Snodgrass?

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Habian Snodgrass. That's right, Look, Stretch, we really want to
help you.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
The kids here feel that if I give you the exam,
you'll stand a better chance of passing. Not that there's
going to be any funny business. You understand, Oh, I
understand perfectly.

Speaker 10 (12:46):
Miss Brooks, Walter wouldn't want any part of anything that
wasn't strictly on the up and up.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
You said it, Stretch. You just let's know, Walter, and
you'll be all right.

Speaker 9 (12:54):
I always do, don't I, Walter.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
You're our manager, and you.

Speaker 9 (12:57):
Always know what's best for all of us, Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yes, sir.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
And if you don't listen, Walder won't tell you about
the rabbits anymore. So let's get back to your scholastic
achievements or lack of them.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
What subjects did you pass last term?

Speaker 9 (13:16):
All of them but English just barely.

Speaker 10 (13:18):
But I passed them, and I can't understand why I
didn't pass English.

Speaker 9 (13:23):
I always done my homework very good, very well, very well, Stretch.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
Isn't it true that you couldn't always do your work
properly because of the other pupils harassing you.

Speaker 10 (13:36):
I ain't never worked near as hard at any subject
as I done in English, hardly.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
But it wasn't all your own fault that you failed.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
There were other students in the class, all kinds of students,
doing all kinds of things.

Speaker 9 (13:53):
Yeah, they were a swell bunch of kids, all right.
But you know something, miss Brooks, It wasn't the grammar
that done it?

Speaker 1 (14:01):
No, then what did done it? Done? Did it everything?

Speaker 10 (14:08):
It was the composition that made miss Enright flunk me.
We was allowed to pick our own theme.

Speaker 6 (14:13):
We were allowed to pick our own theme used too, Huh?

Speaker 9 (14:22):
Like I said, we could write about anything we wanted.
So I got my idea off on the radio.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
It's not very bright of me to ask, but what
kind of a radio idea did you write about?

Speaker 10 (14:34):
I wrote in twenty five words or less. I hate
English because.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
I mean, good morning, mister Conton. Can I speak to
you for a moment?

Speaker 11 (14:52):
If you know how to speak at all, you can.
But if it's permission you want, you may.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
Sorry, mister Conton, I haven't taken English since I was
a girl, But I'd like to request a transfer for
one of the students here.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
He's in miss Enright's class at the present time.

Speaker 11 (15:07):
But Miss Brooks, the new term has already started. You know,
we can't issue any transfers at this late date.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
Oh, but this case is extraordinary, mister Conklin.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
A boy's life is being made miserable by his classmates.
What boy Fabian Snodgrass. They call him all sorts of.

Speaker 11 (15:22):
Names, anything worse than fabians.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Well, for one thing, they call him stretch.

Speaker 11 (15:35):
Stretch, what's so terrible about that? I'm sorry, Miss Brooks.
I can't do anything for you.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
But mister Conklin, he failed English last term because of
the conditions in miss Enright's class, and if she fails
him in his test this term, he won't be eligible
for athletics.

Speaker 11 (15:47):
Athletics, there's too much emphasis on athletics in the school system.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
Now, no, miss Brooks, the boy's stay is where he is.

Speaker 9 (15:54):
And then come in, well hello, see.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
I oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 (15:59):
I didn't know you were.

Speaker 11 (16:00):
Busy or come in, JB. Come in, Miss Brooks. This
is Jason Brill, principle of play City.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
H How do you do, mister Broll?

Speaker 7 (16:07):
How do you do, Miss Brooks?

Speaker 11 (16:08):
What brings you all the way to Madison?

Speaker 5 (16:10):
JB?

Speaker 9 (16:10):
Will?

Speaker 12 (16:11):
Everything's running so smoothly at Clay City. I thought i'd
drop over and find out how things were with you.
I heard you had a fire over here last week.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
Fire. Oh it was nothing at all, really.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, indeed, some teacher just blew a fuse.

Speaker 5 (16:25):
That t.

Speaker 12 (16:28):
Yeah, you got yourself locked in the storeroom too, didn't you?

Speaker 5 (16:34):
Uh?

Speaker 11 (16:36):
Into my inner office, if you will excuse us, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
But I still want to talk to you.

Speaker 5 (16:41):
Miss. I'll talk to you later. Just wait here in
my ouner.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
Office, all right, mister Conon, I'll wait right here.

Speaker 12 (16:47):
You sure I'm not disturbing you as good? That teacher
out there a pretty bit of baggy, isn't she?

Speaker 5 (16:55):
Yes?

Speaker 11 (16:56):
Yes, I'd like to check her sometimes.

Speaker 12 (17:05):
Well, Os Good, we haven't seen each other since the
big Clay City Medicine High football game. We gave you
a good drubbing in that one.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Seventy nine to nothing, wasn't it?

Speaker 5 (17:14):
It was not?

Speaker 11 (17:15):
It was seventy eight to nothing. But we had a
good excuse for losing that one.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Yes, I know your team showed up.

Speaker 12 (17:25):
That was nothing to what our basketball team is going
to do to you tonight.

Speaker 9 (17:28):
Why we should win by forty points?

Speaker 5 (17:30):
What?

Speaker 11 (17:31):
Why we'll wipe up the gym with you?

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Will care to make a little weeder on that, Oz Good?

Speaker 5 (17:37):
I'm not a betting man and you know it.

Speaker 12 (17:38):
Oh, come on, Oz Good, Just to make things interesting,
how about a nice new hat to the winner?

Speaker 1 (17:44):
Well, I do need a new hat.

Speaker 5 (17:47):
You're on JB.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Fine? Well, I'll be running along now.

Speaker 12 (17:51):
See you at the game tonight, made the best team
from Clay City win.

Speaker 11 (17:55):
You haven't a chance. Oh you're still here, mis Broke, Yes,
mister conquer Well, goodbye, Miss Brooks, goodbye mister brill ohen Osgar.

Speaker 12 (18:04):
Yes, if you want to, you can check her with
me sometimes.

Speaker 5 (18:14):
Old reprobate.

Speaker 11 (18:16):
Now, then, Miss Brooks, come to the point, just what
do you want me to do about this this.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Stretch stretch not bass.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Just because a kid happens to be a star basketball
player is no reason for other kids to make fun
of him.

Speaker 5 (18:27):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 11 (18:29):
I can't change the rules in the middle of a
semester just on account of some.

Speaker 5 (18:32):
Star basketball player. After all, there are other students in
this school.

Speaker 11 (18:35):
Who who who did you say?

Speaker 5 (18:40):
A star basketball player?

Speaker 11 (18:42):
Yes, sir, And if he passes a test today, he's
eligible for the game tonight.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
That's right, mister Conklin, and your own daughter, Harriet and
Walter and everybody seems to think that they'll have a
better chance if I give him the examination.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Miss Brooks.

Speaker 11 (18:54):
In a democratically operated high school, no boy should be
forced to remain in surroundings that are not conduced. Who
is getting the most out of the school curriculum.

Speaker 5 (19:03):
Having transferred at.

Speaker 11 (19:04):
Once, there's just one thing I insist on, Yes, mister Cockran,
the test must be absolutely impartial. At Madison, we have
just one standard procedure, one examination with.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Liberty and justice for all.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
Come on, Walter, there's mister Boynton. Okay, Harriet, pardon us,
mister Boynton. But the cafeteria is pretty passed today.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
Oh yes, I know. Why don't you sit at this
table with me?

Speaker 6 (19:37):
Now that's what I call taking the base. I mean, thanks,
mister Boynton. We wanted to talk to you before Miss
Brooks came up. You see, Stretch is taking his English
test in miss brooks free period right after lunch.

Speaker 5 (19:49):
But I thought Stretch was in Miss Enwright's class.

Speaker 6 (19:51):
He was, but Daddy transferred him because he doesn't want
the boy to be unhappy. Now it's up to us,
especially you as basketball coach, to see that Miss Brooks
is an very good mood when she gives him the test.
Maybe she'll even let us be there.

Speaker 5 (20:04):
But what can I do.

Speaker 6 (20:05):
We'll just be nice, you know, even if she doesn't
order salad, spread a little oil around.

Speaker 5 (20:13):
I'm always courteous to Miss Brooks.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
Will then be more than courteous, be be civil.

Speaker 5 (20:20):
Well what my attitude, Todd, Miss Brooks has to do.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
With she's coming over now? Be terribly nice. Remember this
is the biggest game you'll ever coach.

Speaker 5 (20:28):
Hill out mister Boyton, how do you do, Miss Brooks?

Speaker 1 (20:30):
How are you? Harriet Walter?

Speaker 4 (20:32):
We're fine, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh, won't you join us?

Speaker 4 (20:34):
I'll sit right here by, mister Boynton. I'll move the
chairs closer together.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
There, Thank you?

Speaker 6 (20:41):
Now?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Then what looks good today?

Speaker 4 (20:43):
You do, Miss Brooks? You look simply lovely?

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Well? Hi, praise coming from you Walter?

Speaker 4 (20:50):
He should have come from you, mister Boynton.

Speaker 6 (20:55):
Miss Brooks, if you'll just tell me what you want,
I'll go get your tray filled up.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I really haven't given much thought.

Speaker 4 (21:01):
That's one nice thing about having a perfect figure.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
You can eat anything.

Speaker 5 (21:06):
I don't think my figure is so perfect.

Speaker 4 (21:13):
Not you, mister Boynton.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
That's brock.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Here.

Speaker 11 (21:16):
Let me wipe off the table in front of no
pass me those glasses of water?

Speaker 5 (21:19):
Will you water?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (21:21):
Thank you? Here's one for you, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Oh here, Miss Brooks, take my knives and forks too.
I'm not hungry just yet.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
I am I'm starved.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
I'd eat some roast beef today, if it wasn't so
expensive expensive?

Speaker 6 (21:32):
What's that got to do with anything mister Boynton's treating you?

Speaker 5 (21:37):
There goes the water must have gotten down the wrong pipe.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Yeah, the pipe that likes to go Dutch.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Look, I appreciate this attention, but there's something I think
you all ought to know.

Speaker 9 (21:52):
What's that?

Speaker 3 (21:52):
I'm giving Stretch his eligibility test in private? In private,
that's right, And if you'll meet me after school, I'll
refund all Curdie he's extended to me during this lunch period. Now, Stretch,
who say you've completed the written portion of the examination?

Speaker 9 (22:14):
Yes, ma'am, do the best of my ability.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
I was afraid of that. Well, put the papers to
one side and we'll get into the oral test.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
Ooks.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
What do you want, Walder?

Speaker 4 (22:24):
I forgot my rubbers?

Speaker 6 (22:25):
How, don't pay attention to me though, Just keep going, Hi, Stretch,
never mind that.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
Sorry, you're on your own kid. I'll just look around
over here.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
We'll keep away from Stretch. First question.

Speaker 4 (22:38):
Hi, I just want to come for a minute, miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
For what Harriet?

Speaker 4 (22:41):
I lost my fountain pan. I'm sure it's in one
of these tests.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh, you go right, ahead, miss Brooks. High Stretch, Hi, Harriet, why.

Speaker 9 (22:49):
Don't you look over here by me?

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Cut that out? Where do you think you are?

Speaker 6 (22:54):
Well?

Speaker 1 (22:54):
She's pretty. It's a good thing.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
That wasn't one of the test questions. Look, Stretch, you
are fond of radio shows. Now just make believe you're
on a quiz program.

Speaker 5 (23:04):
I beg your pardon this, Brooks, but I think I
left a book in here.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
This test should have been given in the rose bowl.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
Sit right down, mister Boynton. Stretch is about to get
the oral test.

Speaker 5 (23:15):
Oh well, I'll be very quiet as Brooks.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
So well, Stretch, I'm afraid.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
But here goes question one named three plays by William Shakespeare.
William who Shakespeare.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
He was a tall, thin fellow with a little goatee.

Speaker 9 (23:33):
Oh him, three plays.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Huh m hmm.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Maybe I shouldn't look for my rubbers now.

Speaker 6 (23:41):
Maybe it's just much ado about nothing, Walter, ado about nothing,
he said.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Of the Brooks stuff.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
One answer, right, go ahead, Stretch, think of another.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
One another one?

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Oh, don't make any mistakes. Now this could easily become
a comedy of errors.

Speaker 9 (24:01):
Comedy of errors, But for you, Stretched, not not just
one more.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Mister point And I'm surprised at you giving a pupil
hints in a private test.

Speaker 5 (24:12):
But miss Brooks, I didn't say anything. I'm just routing
for the boy.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
Oh well, I guess this is something of a tempest
and a teapot.

Speaker 9 (24:23):
I think I got the third one, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
What is it? Teapot? That is absolutely wrong? Would you
like to try for tempest? Yeah, jumpers.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Next question, what plays did Shakespeare write between the two
entitled Pericles Prince of Tire and Coriolanus?

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Where did everybody go? Would you repeat the question? Please? Certainly?

Speaker 3 (24:56):
What plays did Shakespeare write between the two entitled Pericles
Prince of Tire and Corey Alanis?

Speaker 5 (25:05):
Well, don't stand there, thank boy.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Well, mister Conklin, I have the result of both tests
written in.

Speaker 11 (25:19):
Aura, good, good, just everything on my desk here. I'm
not even going to check these papers, miss Brooks. I'm
that sure of your integrity.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Thank you, mister Conklin. But as you know, we weren't alone.

Speaker 5 (25:28):
I never mind that, Miss Brooks.

Speaker 9 (25:30):
The examination was based on the one hundred percent system.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
That's right, But every once in a while, somebody.

Speaker 11 (25:34):
Please, miss Brooks. It's all done with passing is sixty
five percent?

Speaker 5 (25:38):
Is that great?

Speaker 11 (25:39):
Yes, sir fine, Now what was the boys mark thirty nine?
Miss Brooks, I would like you to jot down my
latest ruling on eligibility for athletic activities, mister Conklin, No
student who has previously failed the subject will be eligible

(26:01):
for any athletic team if he fails the first two
tests in any term.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Mister Conklin, may I say that I have never seen
such touching concern for the hopes and ambitions of Madison's students.

Speaker 5 (26:13):
Well, thank you, Miss Brooks. I remember when I was
a boys.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
On one more thing, mister Conklin. Yes, when you get
your new hat, wear it in good health.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Eve bardiners are. Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
But first, dream.

Speaker 7 (26:37):
Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful, luster cream girl, tonight show him
how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster
cream shampoo. Only luster cream brings you caven much magic
formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lenoln gives loveliness,
lather even in hardest water, glamorizes your hair, and as

(27:00):
you wash it, luster cream not a salt, not a liquid,
but a dainty cream shampoo leaves hair fragrantly clean. Free
of loos dandriff glistening with sheen, soft, manageable, gives new
beauty to all hairdoes or permanence four ounce jar, one
dollar smaller sizes either tubes or jars. Tonight try Luster

(27:22):
Cream shampoo and be a dream girl, dream girl, beautiful
luster cream girl. You Oh you're cralling glory too, are.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
The Luster Shampoo.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.

Speaker 3 (27:44):
Well, we gave the Clay City team a pretty thorough drubbing,
and right after the game I congratulated mister Boynton. Honestly,
mister Brydon, I thought you did a superb job of coaching.

Speaker 5 (27:54):
Thanks, Miss Brooks. With the kids deserve most of the credit.
They played a great game, yes they did.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
You know something, mister Brton, I have been are excited
at the.

Speaker 3 (28:00):
Basketball game since I swallowed the whistle and teaches college.

Speaker 5 (28:04):
Where Chris Brooks said, that's pretty serious. What did you
do about it?

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Nothing? But I intend to see a doctor about it
one of these days later, ar Miss Brooks.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
Jaw brought to you by Parmalad Soap, Your Beauty, Hope
and Luster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Our
Miss Brooks starring Eve Harden, is produced by Larry Burns,
written and directed by Al Lewis, with music by Wilbur Hatch.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
Men.

Speaker 5 (28:39):
Do you shave with a lather or brushless shaved cream?

Speaker 8 (28:42):
Palm Olive shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever way
you prefer to shave, you'll find that using either palm
olive brushless or palm olive latter shaving cream can bring
you more comfortable, actually smoother shaves.

Speaker 5 (28:55):
Here's the proof.

Speaker 8 (28:56):
Twenty five hundred and forty eight men tried the new
parmolive way to shave described on the tube, and no
matter how they had shaved before, three out of every
four got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves. Get parmalid brushless
or parmlaid Lads Shaving Green Today.

Speaker 9 (29:16):
Or mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
Listen to mister and Missus North tune in Tuesday evenings
over most of these same stations, and be with us
again next week at the same time, or another comedy
episode of our.

Speaker 7 (29:27):
Miss Brooks bob Lamon Speaking.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
This is CBS three, Columbia Broadcasting System
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