August 6, 2025 • 29 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
So your beauty Hope and Bluster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous,
caressible hair bring you our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
After teaching English to the summer school students of Madison
High all week long, last Saturday didn't arrive a minute
too soon for our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Generally, the thing I like best about Saturday is that
it gives me a full twelve hours to speculate upon just.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
How boring Sunday will be.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But last Saturday, while I was having breakfast with my landlady,
missus Davis, a bombshell was hurled into our usual routine.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
That's the front door ball, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Connie Bell is an overstatement, Missus Davis. It used to
be a belle years ago.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Now it sounds like a dying rattlesnake with a frog
in its throat.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
I wonder who it can be? Anybody?
Speaker 4 (01:01):
All right, I'm coming.
Speaker 6 (01:03):
Maybe you shouldn't answer, Rick, Connie. I've had the strangest
feeling of foreboding all morning.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Well that's silly, Missus Davis. It might be good news.
Why or why should it be bad news?
Speaker 7 (01:15):
Why not.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Let's have the playoffs when I come back?
Speaker 8 (01:25):
Good morning.
Speaker 9 (01:25):
I have a telegram here for a Missus Davis. Are
you a Missus Davis?
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I'm not a missus anything yet.
Speaker 9 (01:32):
Don't tell me I've delivered this telegram to the wrong address. Well,
I've never been guilty of that in all my years
in the service.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Will far be it for me to depress one of
our boys in uniform? This is Missus Davis's house, all right,
I just.
Speaker 8 (01:45):
Live with her.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Miss Brooks is the name.
Speaker 8 (01:47):
How do you do?
Speaker 9 (01:48):
I'm Herbie Terwilliger. That's my bike at the curve.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Glad to know both of you. If you'll give me
your receipt book time for the wire?
Speaker 9 (02:01):
All right, here you are, Miss Brooks bottom line please,
all right. Yes, I've been in the service quite a
while now.
Speaker 8 (02:06):
This is my sixth hitch really.
Speaker 9 (02:08):
Never been a plain foot messenger. Always been with the
bicycle squad.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
That sounds healthy.
Speaker 9 (02:15):
Of course, during my long term of duty, I've made
a host of friends, both in and out of the service.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
I imagine you have now if you just of course.
Speaker 9 (02:23):
I've lost a few of my buddies too, good hard
peddling boys, all of them.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I'm sorry, Herbie.
Speaker 9 (02:31):
Yes, I always think of them when I hear ghost
Riders in the sky.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That song cheers me up too. I'll take this telegram
into Missus Davis. Now, goodbye, Herbie.
Speaker 9 (02:43):
Oh this isn't good, bar miss Brooks. This wire has
immediate reply request that printed on it. I'll just wait
here on the porch until Missus Davis gives me an answer.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
All right, I'll try to hurry that for you.
Speaker 9 (02:53):
I'll appreciate that I have a slow leak in my
rear tire.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
I'll be back in plenty of time to get it. Vould,
Missus Davis, it's for you.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
What is it, dear?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
This telegram?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh I knew it.
Speaker 6 (03:09):
I knew something terrible was going to happen today, terrible.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
But you haven't even opened it yet.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
And I'm not going to open it. Connie.
Speaker 6 (03:16):
I've only received half a dozen telegrams in my entire life,
and they all brought bad news. This is probably some
horrible news about Missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Yes, she went to Switzerland for a vacation. I warned
her not to go. She probably fell off one of
those alps.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Davis.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
I'm psychic about these things, Connie.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Poor missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
I can just picture her skiing down the elves, not
a care in the world. Suddenly a treacherous curve. She
can't make the turn in time. Over the rim she goes.
She looks down nothing but rocky crags, jacked peaks by Connie,
you're not touching in your breakfast.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Suddenly, I'm not hungry, but aren't you going to finish
your feet cakes until you get Missus Bribleman off those peaks?
I just remembered, Connie, Missus Gribbleman took my advice and decided.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Not to go to Switzerland. She's see she's feeling fine.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I don't want to rush you, Missus Davis, but this
wire calls for an immediate reply.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Look right here on the envelope and.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Let's see immediate reply requested. Well I'm sorry, but I
wait a minute, Connie, Look where this telegram was sent
from through this celephone here? Doesn't that say Springdale?
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Springdale? Yes it does.
Speaker 6 (04:45):
Why that's where Uncle Corky lives or maybe now I
should say lived. Oh, poor uncle Corky.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
He was always so fond of me. He was my
mother's oldest brother. You know we were very close.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I'll bet he was just like an uncle to you. Look,
Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Aren't you being a little prematurely mournful? After all?
Speaker 5 (05:09):
You don't know that he's nobody must be.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
He was eighty seven years old on his last birthday,
and he's had the hives for years.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Well, maybe he'll outgrow them.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
When I think of how Uncle Corky used to play
Sandy Clause every Christmas. The kids at Madison, the faculty,
everybody loved him.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
You remember him, don't you, Connie?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Of course, Missus Davis, he's been coming here every Christmas
for years. Here, I'll open this wire and tell you
what it says.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
No, Connie, No, I won't let you open it. Why
should you be the one to bring me bad news?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
But Missus, I could never again look at you without
associating you with Uncle Corky's passing. I like you too
much to allow such a tragic bridge to come between us, Connie.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
I'll do anything to avoid it.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Oh, but this is ridiculous, Missus Davis. Once I've opened it, you'll.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
See how it's day is rent day, Connie. If you
leave it unopened now, well, I won't charge you for
this week.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Missus Davis, I wouldn't open this telegram if you begged me.
You promise, Connie, I swear it on this stack of wheatcakes.
I know there's a messenger outside waiting for the immediate reply.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I'll ask him to open it. We hear, Missus Davis. Oh, Herbie,
would you come inside a minute? Please?
Speaker 8 (06:26):
For sure? Got the answer, miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Not yet.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
This is Missus Davis. Herbie, Missus Davis, this is Herbie T.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Williger.
Speaker 8 (06:35):
Oh, place to meet you?
Speaker 5 (06:36):
How do you do?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Missus Davis is a little superstitious about opening telegrams, Herbie,
would you mind me?
Speaker 8 (06:42):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Just open it up, will you?
Speaker 8 (06:44):
But I can't.
Speaker 9 (06:45):
That's the first rule I learned in basic training. Thou
shalt knock monkey with the messages.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
We don't want you to monkey with it. Just open it.
Speaker 9 (06:58):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks, Well I can't touch it.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Can't We forget about it? For now?
Speaker 8 (07:03):
Forget about it?
Speaker 9 (07:04):
But what will I tell my CEO? This is an
immediate reply requested.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Can't you just tell him there is no reply?
Speaker 8 (07:12):
What me tell the chief there is no reply?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Please, Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
That is tantamount to telling the admiral, Sir, there are
no boats.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Will I don't care about the Admiral. I'm going to
have another cup of coffee and think this thing over.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I'll put enough on for.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
All of it, all right, Missus Davis.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Why doesn't she want to open the telegram? Miss Brooks, I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Afraid it sheers superstition with her Herbie. Oh, pardon me, well,
if it isn't Walter Dan, Hi am, Missus Brooks. Come in, Walter.
What are you doing up so early on a Saturday?
Speaker 10 (07:48):
Well, I just came back to see if there are
any odd jobs I could do for Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know, to pick up a little pin money.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well, I don't know about Missus Davis, but i'll give
you a few pins if you'll do something for me.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Come into the living room.
Speaker 11 (08:00):
You know i'm your slave, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (08:02):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (08:03):
You can open the telegram?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
The telegram, yes, brought by Herbie to Williger here when
he was a much younger man.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Herby. This is Walter Dan.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
Glad to know you. I'm sure, Hi, but I don't
get it. Miss Brooks. Why don't you open it?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Because it belongs to missus Davis? And she asked me
not to.
Speaker 9 (08:22):
Well, then why doesn't she a perfectly natural second question.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Because she's afraid it might contain some bad news.
Speaker 10 (08:29):
Well, I'd like to help you out, miss Brooks, but
opening other people's messages is very bad luck.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Please, Walter, not you too.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
You should have been at the Conclin's house with me
this morning.
Speaker 10 (08:39):
I'd send Harriet a little note and mister Conklin opened
it by mistake. It was one of my more amorous epistles,
you know, solid goon. Well, his opening it was sure unlucky,
though in what way? Right after he read it he
kicked me down the porch steps.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I hate to crash headlong into such a nostalgic moment,
but this is getting out of hand, Walter.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I insist that you open this wire.
Speaker 10 (09:08):
Gosh, miss Brooks, if you're gonna be upset about it,
hand it over here.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
You are God, you can't do it, Walter.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
Oh hi, missus Davis. What's the trouble.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
You remember Uncle Corky, don't you?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Uncle Corky?
Speaker 8 (09:19):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (09:19):
Well, the old fellow with a beard who plays Santa
Claus for us every year?
Speaker 8 (09:23):
Oh sure I remember him?
Speaker 6 (09:24):
How is he he's left?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
As Walter? I'm afraid. That's what this telegram was about.
Speaker 10 (09:31):
Really, But if it was about that wouldn't have a
black border on it.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
No, Uncle Corky has a white beard.
Speaker 8 (09:40):
She was a nice old guy.
Speaker 10 (09:42):
Look, why don't we take this wire over to Harriet's open.
Speaker 8 (09:45):
She's not afraid of anything.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
You're right, Walter.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Anyone who could live with mister Conklin for sixteen years
must be made of iron.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
We'll take it over to Harriet.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
If you'll do nothing of the sword, we'll just let
it rest on this table for a while.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
But how about the it's an immediate argue, Herbie.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Maybe if the telegram rests for a while, Uncle Corky,
you'll feel better.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
On this look starring Eve Arden will continue in just
a moment. But first, here is Verne Smith for bare
skin beauty. It's batsized Pamalay with its famous beauty lather. Yes,
bathsize Pamalay for loveliness all over.
Speaker 7 (10:31):
There's something thrillingly new in this wonderful beauty ladder of
bath sized pamlive soap, new fragrance, new charm, new allure.
See if PA Molive and your daily tuber shower doesn't
leave your shoulders, arms and back. Yes, all of you,
softer and smoother, completely lovelier all over. You'll thrill to
the tender whisper of perfume that leaves on your skin,
(10:54):
a whisper that says, come hither to romance.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And this new bathsized pa Malave is so big, so thrifty,
economical to use because it lasts so long and gives
so much soft lovely lather so fast.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
That soft lovely ladder with its alluring new fragrance is
palm Olive soaps alone, palm Olif's famous beauty lather.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Yes, a new fragrance, new.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Charm, new allure that can make every woman a vision
of delight in the new revealing fashions that show so
much more of you.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So remember for bear skin beauty, its Batsize Pomalive with
its famous beauty lather. Yes, Batsize Pamala for loveliness all over.
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Get bath size palm Olive soap tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Menfolk love it too well.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I finally prevailed upon Missus Davis to let me take
the telegram over to the conference to be opened. When
I got to their house, Madison's beloved principle was asleep
in a hammock, and Harriet was sitting on the porch
steps reading Hi, Harriet, what's that you're reading?
Speaker 8 (12:03):
Who at the.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
Western Store in this Brooks? But please lure your voice.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Why don't you want the Indians to hear I.
Speaker 11 (12:10):
Don't want Danny to hear you. He's taking a nap
on the hammer.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I dropped over to ask a favor of you, Harriet.
It'll probably sound pretty silly to you, but well, you
know how peculiar Missus.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Davis is sometimes.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Of course, she got this telegram a while ago and
simply refuses to open it. She insists that it contains
bad news.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
That is peculiar.
Speaker 9 (12:28):
I wouldn't mind so much, but it's an immediate reply requested.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Oh Herbie, this is Herbie to Williger Harriet.
Speaker 8 (12:35):
A place to make your acquaintance. Ms.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Conklin. Hello. All I want you to do, Harriet, is
to open the wire me.
Speaker 8 (12:42):
But what don't you can't? She promised Missus Davis. She wouldn't.
Speaker 11 (12:45):
Oh well, then why don't you he can?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
First rule of basic training, he shout, not monkey with
the messages.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Oh it's all just a lot of superstitious nonsense.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Harriet.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Here, tear it open and let's get this over with.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
If you think it's all right for a stranger to
open Missus Davis's wire.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Stranger, you're no stranger to Uncle Corky, Harriet, as I recall,
you're one of his favorite kids here at Madison.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
Oh is this wire from Uncle Corky?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Missus Davis seems to think it's about him, from his
next of.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Kin or something.
Speaker 8 (13:17):
Next of kin.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Oh that dear old gentleman. I'll never forget what a
kick he got out of playing Santa Closet Christmas time?
Speaker 4 (13:26):
And now he's gone.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
What is it with that Uncle Corky? The minute you
mentioned his name, people start shoveling. Look, Harriet, all we
know is that the telegram comes from Uncle Corky's hometown.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
You'll just open it now.
Speaker 11 (13:41):
Well, I'm sorry, miss Brooks, but i'd rather not. I'm
very fond of Missus Davison. I don't want to be
the one to find out about her uncle.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Oh great, what do we do now?
Speaker 9 (13:51):
This thing is getting bigger than both of us.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
You're so right, Herbie, but now I really must put
my foot.
Speaker 8 (13:59):
Down while you're at it.
Speaker 13 (14:01):
Put your voice down a notch, will you, mister Colin.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I didn't know you were away, I.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
Wasn't now that I am. What is all this about
a telegram?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
It belongs to missus Davis, Mister Conkland, she won't open
it because it concerns her Uncle Corky.
Speaker 13 (14:16):
Uncle Corky, that old fraud.
Speaker 8 (14:23):
How can you.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Speak that way?
Speaker 8 (14:24):
Why?
Speaker 11 (14:25):
Uncle Corky's the best Santa Claus that Madison ever had.
Speaker 13 (14:28):
He's a hypocritical old wind bag. Time was when I
was considered the best Santa Claus Madison ever had.
Speaker 11 (14:36):
But Daddy, you said yourself that putting on that big
red tell me who's a.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Lot of trouble You'll have more trouble trying to get
it off.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Look, mister Conklin, I'm sorry I disturbed your nap, But
if you'll just open this telegram for.
Speaker 8 (14:50):
Why should I open it?
Speaker 13 (14:52):
It makes me mad just to think of that egotistical,
spotlight grabbing.
Speaker 11 (14:55):
Old foolf What don't you see, daddy, Missus Davis, he
was afraid to open the telegram because she thinks it's bad.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
News about Uncle fuf a Corky.
Speaker 11 (15:06):
She's abraded well that Uncle Corky will never play Santa again.
Speaker 13 (15:10):
But what has missus Davis got to never play Santa?
Claus again. You mean she thinks he's yes.
Speaker 8 (15:18):
Oh, that poor old gentleman.
Speaker 13 (15:23):
Oh well, I remember the merry twinkle in his eye
and that rollicking, cheerful voice as he strolled among us.
I remember the first time he came to us at Christmas.
How artfully he played Chris Kringle. What was it he
used to say so cleverly? Oh yes, Oh.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
The egg lived every word of it too. There's something
I'd like to remind you of, mister Conklin. Nobody knows
that Uncle Corky has hold his last hole. Just open
a telegram.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
No, no, I'm sorry, Miss Brooks, but I'll have no
part of this telegram. Although not addicted to silly superstition,
I see no reason to put the lammy on myself. Now,
if you'll excuse me, i'd like to continue my nap, And.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
If you'll excuse me, i'd like to go to lunch.
I'm starved, certainly, my boy.
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Just run along, I'll get a bite at the drug store,
and i'll see you back at missus Davis's house.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Miss Brooks, all right, herby, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (16:24):
Good bye, Herby, goodbye Harriet, goodbye, mister Conklin.
Speaker 13 (16:27):
Goodbye now then Miss Brooks, if you don't mind, who
was there?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
That's the messenger boy, mister Conkland. We've been going steady
since breakfast.
Speaker 13 (16:44):
Oh well, if it isn't too unreasonable a request, will
you and Harriet talk as softly as possible? That is,
if you're staying, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
How could I tear myself away from such a charming host?
What are we gonna do about this wire?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I wish I knew, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (17:02):
Wait a minute, Maybe we can read the message without
opening it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
How stick one of our eyes through the little cellophane window.
Speaker 11 (17:11):
I'll get candle and hold it up to the back
of the envelope.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
That way you can see what's inside.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Well, we might as well try it, Harriet, because if
I don't find out what's going on in Springdale soon,
I'll absolutely blow my corky.
Speaker 14 (17:24):
Oh, I don't know what Springdale's coming to.
Speaker 12 (17:37):
What kind of a telegraph outfit is it?
Speaker 8 (17:39):
Anyway, none, I'll send it down. Cauky. You've already waited
two hours for.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
That immediate reply.
Speaker 15 (17:43):
Another five minutes doesn't matter.
Speaker 12 (17:45):
It Gosh, when you're eighty seven, boy, are you sure
you sent the message exactly as I give it to you.
Speaker 15 (17:53):
Well, I'll try and dig up the master copy for you.
How come you're making the trip at this time of year, Cocky?
You usually go away around Christmas, don't you?
Speaker 12 (18:01):
And I used to, but never again. I'm always roped
into playing santy Clause at Madison High School. Darn kids
brought me up under Christmas Street, yank on my beard
and yap jingle bells my ears. But I'd like to
beat him over the head with a chimney.
Speaker 15 (18:19):
You won't have to worry about Christmas this trip, Cocky.
You can take advantage of this nice July weather play
some golf or something.
Speaker 8 (18:26):
Oh not me. I gave up golf a month ago.
Speaker 12 (18:29):
Why in my age, I don't feel safe being so
close to a hole.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
In the ground, I said, side. It's bad from my hives.
Speaker 12 (18:42):
But I'm gonna make this vacation of mine a real
wingeding boy. You know, my niece has a young school
teacher living with her, a real looker.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
What I mean, hot stuff? Ain't cocky?
Speaker 12 (18:55):
Oh she's groovy, jack?
Speaker 15 (18:57):
Oh is that why you said, missus Davis?
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Carky.
Speaker 15 (19:01):
I'll read it to you, shall I, and it'd be
just super And it says arriving tonight. Please advise if
you can put me up, have one week to live
a little and would like to spend it with you.
Speaker 11 (19:11):
Love.
Speaker 12 (19:12):
Uncle Cawkey can't understand what's holding up the answer, Well,
I'm taking the next train regardless. They are your best
Bibbin dugger brooksick Here I come, laughing and the scretching.
Speaker 11 (19:32):
Hold the telegram a little closer to the candle, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
There can you see anything yet?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yes, Harriet, I can make out three words very clearly.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
What are these? Famous Brooks?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Don't write telegraph closer to the flame?
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Gets too close, Miss Brooks. Look out the telegrams on fire?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Oh no, this Brooks should dropped it well under the circumstances, Harriet,
I thought it highly advisable. You see, I left my
asbestos gloves at the laundromat, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
Step on.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I'm glad I didn't wear my open toed shoes today.
Speaker 8 (20:05):
What on earth is all this racket? Oh it's you,
miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
You dance divinely.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Thank you, mister Conklin. This is the step that won
me a cup at the Fireman's ball.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
I see.
Speaker 13 (20:21):
Well, if you're quite finished with your little flame dance,
Miss Brooks, I trust that your next step will be
a long one in the direction of your home.
Speaker 11 (20:31):
First, we've got to find out what's in the telegram
for what's left of it.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
It's from Uncle Corky.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
So the hammy old goats alive after all.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Brooks, Well, some of it's been destroyed. Harriet. What's left
says arriving tonight, have one week to live poor uncle Corky.
I remember when I last saw him.
Speaker 13 (21:05):
There was a merry twinkle in his eye, and he
was hoping he would live to see one more Christmas.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
But now he's leaving us.
Speaker 12 (21:12):
Wait.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Wait, I have an idea.
Speaker 13 (21:14):
Uncle Kaky will have another Christmas tonight, Christmas in July. Harriet,
get ready to do some Christmas shopping.
Speaker 8 (21:21):
Yes, Daddy and Miss Brooks. Decorate your living room.
Speaker 13 (21:24):
Get a Christmas tree, artificial snow, bright colored lights.
Speaker 16 (21:27):
We're going to give Uncle Kaky the best Christmas he
ever had.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Oh, Uncle Kirky will simply adore this Christmas tree.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Cannie. It's a silver fair, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Yes, it'll match his beard beautifully.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I hope the others get here with their Christmas gifts
before Uncle Kirky arrives. It's already eight o'clock and they
said they.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
What was that?
Speaker 5 (21:56):
Oh that's heard me.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
He fell asleep on the couch this afternoon waiting for
the immediate reply.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Poor Herbie, his CEO will think he's gone over the hills.
Speaker 16 (22:08):
Da.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Would you plug this in the socket please? I want
to see how the tree looks with the lights on?
Speaker 5 (22:12):
All right, Kenny, the how does it look?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Lovely, missus Davis? Really beautiful a Christmas tree?
Speaker 8 (22:21):
Have I been here that long now?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Herbie? It's still Saturday?
Speaker 8 (22:31):
Never mind the day. What's the month?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
It's July. You fell asleep on the couch. You've only
been here twelve hours?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Twelve hours? Have you got the immediate reply yet?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
What's your rush?
Speaker 8 (22:47):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Excuse me?
Speaker 11 (22:50):
Merry Christmasmas, bride, May Christmas?
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Oh, may we come in.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
You look, Missus Davis. A pair of perspiring carollers just
straighted in.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Carrie and osgood Merry Christmas Christmas.
Speaker 9 (23:13):
Oh they'll drum me out of the service for this.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Ah.
Speaker 13 (23:23):
The spirit of the Yule tide is in the air.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
And what a lovely Christmas tree?
Speaker 13 (23:28):
And look at those luxuriant pine needles.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
That's Herbie. He needs a shave.
Speaker 11 (23:35):
The tree is really beautiful, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
In two years I would have been up for a pension.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
You can put your gifts under the tree, or excuse me.
Speaker 10 (23:47):
Merry Christmas, missus Brooks, and a happy Easter to you, Walter.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Come into the living room, Frands. We've been joined by
one of Sandra's little helpers.
Speaker 8 (23:56):
May go, it's you, Dander.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Look out the window.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
There's a cab at the curb, and Uncle Corky's getting
out of it. Now, let's get together on this. If
we're to succeed in brightening his remaining days, we've really
got to make him believe it's Christmas. Give him that
old yule Tide spirit.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
We know what to do, Miss Books.
Speaker 16 (24:19):
Just wait till Old Corky topples through that door.
Speaker 12 (24:23):
I left the.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Latch off the door.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Honey, come in, Uncle Kakey, Hello Margaret, I.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Let him have it. Folks, Jingle jingle bell?
Speaker 12 (24:49):
What are you whole home about your big old.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
Why?
Speaker 16 (24:54):
Uncle Kaky?
Speaker 13 (24:54):
We want you to have one more real Christmas Christmas.
Speaker 12 (24:59):
What did I do up into a nest cuckoo?
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Please, Uncle Kirky, we want this week to be the
happiest you've ever spent.
Speaker 12 (25:08):
Well, then how about getting some of these people out
of here and leaving me alone with Miss Brooks?
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Did you hear that tunny Uncle Kirky is fond of you?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh that's very touching, Uncle Kirky. But isn't this your
last week?
Speaker 12 (25:25):
Might well be sis, But what a way to go?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Stars Our Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 8 (25:43):
But first, dream.
Speaker 13 (25:45):
Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Tonight, yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kdoman's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leads hair
(26:12):
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff, glistening
with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream
lathers instantly, no special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo,
so gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight,
(26:32):
Yes tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 13 (26:36):
A dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (26:43):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 12 (26:46):
You owe your crowning glory.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Too a luster cream shampoooo.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And now once again here is I'll miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
As soon as mister Conklin discovered that Uncle Corky wasn't
on his last legs, he gathered up his Christmas packages,
his daughter, harried, and Walter Denton and left in a
cloud of frustration. Heard to Williger, left too after I
had promised him an immediate reply by the end of
the year. After missus Davis had gone to bed, I
started for my room.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Oh I didn't know you were still.
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Up, eh?
Speaker 12 (27:26):
How about stepping out for a stroll, Brooks?
Speaker 8 (27:28):
It he's a full moon.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Why errow, what have you been spiking your pablum with?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Frankly, Uncle Corky, I'm afraid you're a few minutes too.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Old for me.
Speaker 12 (27:44):
Too old. Why don't you know that the longer a
man lived, the more he knows about romance. I may
be eighty seven, but I really got the know how.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
You may have the know how, but believe me, you'll
still you'll find it tough to get the.
Speaker 8 (28:01):
Who with you. Give me another hour, Miss Grushow. Brought
to you by Parmai Soap, your.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Beauty Hawk and Luster Cream tampoo for soft Glamorous, Caressable.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Hair Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by
Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis, with music
by wilbra Hatch.
Speaker 8 (28:21):
Mister Conklin is played by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Krenna,
Gloria McMillan, Joe Kerns, Jerry Hausner and Peter Leeds. Here's
a money saving offerman a giant tube and a large
tube of Pamela Brushless shaving cream for forty nine cents. Yes,
a seventy cent value for only forty nine cents.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
This offer is made solely to prove you.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Too can get smoother, more comfortable shaves the Palmala Grushless way.
Just follow directions on the tube and treat your face
to wonderful shaves. Yes, for extra shaving comfort at extra
low cost. Don't miss the Parmela of Brushless. Bargain at
drug and toilet goods counters. Get both giant and large
size Parmela of Brushless a seventy cent value for only
(29:08):
forty nine cents.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
For mystery, liberally sprinkled with laughs, listen to mister and
missus North Tuesday evening over most of these same stations,
and be with us again next week at the same
time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brookes bab
Leaman speaking for CBS the Columbia broadcast in sixteen
So your beauty Hope and Bluster Cream shampoo for soft, glamorous,
caressible hair bring you our Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
After teaching English to the summer school students of Madison
High all week long, last Saturday didn't arrive a minute
too soon for our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Generally, the thing I like best about Saturday is that
it gives me a full twelve hours to speculate upon just.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
How boring Sunday will be.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
But last Saturday, while I was having breakfast with my landlady,
missus Davis, a bombshell was hurled into our usual routine.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
That's the front door ball, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Connie Bell is an overstatement, Missus Davis. It used to
be a belle years ago.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Now it sounds like a dying rattlesnake with a frog
in its throat.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
I wonder who it can be? Anybody?
Speaker 4 (01:01):
All right, I'm coming.
Speaker 6 (01:03):
Maybe you shouldn't answer, Rick, Connie. I've had the strangest
feeling of foreboding all morning.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Well that's silly, Missus Davis. It might be good news.
Why or why should it be bad news?
Speaker 7 (01:15):
Why not.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Let's have the playoffs when I come back?
Speaker 8 (01:25):
Good morning.
Speaker 9 (01:25):
I have a telegram here for a Missus Davis. Are
you a Missus Davis?
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I'm not a missus anything yet.
Speaker 9 (01:32):
Don't tell me I've delivered this telegram to the wrong address. Well,
I've never been guilty of that in all my years
in the service.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Will far be it for me to depress one of
our boys in uniform? This is Missus Davis's house, all right,
I just.
Speaker 8 (01:45):
Live with her.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Miss Brooks is the name.
Speaker 8 (01:47):
How do you do?
Speaker 9 (01:48):
I'm Herbie Terwilliger. That's my bike at the curve.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Glad to know both of you. If you'll give me
your receipt book time for the wire?
Speaker 9 (02:01):
All right, here you are, Miss Brooks bottom line please,
all right. Yes, I've been in the service quite a
while now.
Speaker 8 (02:06):
This is my sixth hitch really.
Speaker 9 (02:08):
Never been a plain foot messenger. Always been with the
bicycle squad.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
That sounds healthy.
Speaker 9 (02:15):
Of course, during my long term of duty, I've made
a host of friends, both in and out of the service.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
I imagine you have now if you just of course.
Speaker 9 (02:23):
I've lost a few of my buddies too, good hard
peddling boys, all of them.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I'm sorry, Herbie.
Speaker 9 (02:31):
Yes, I always think of them when I hear ghost
Riders in the sky.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
That song cheers me up too. I'll take this telegram
into Missus Davis. Now, goodbye, Herbie.
Speaker 9 (02:43):
Oh this isn't good, bar miss Brooks. This wire has
immediate reply request that printed on it. I'll just wait
here on the porch until Missus Davis gives me an answer.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
All right, I'll try to hurry that for you.
Speaker 9 (02:53):
I'll appreciate that I have a slow leak in my
rear tire.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
I'll be back in plenty of time to get it. Vould,
Missus Davis, it's for you.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
What is it, dear?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
This telegram?
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh I knew it.
Speaker 6 (03:09):
I knew something terrible was going to happen today, terrible.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
But you haven't even opened it yet.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
And I'm not going to open it. Connie.
Speaker 6 (03:16):
I've only received half a dozen telegrams in my entire life,
and they all brought bad news. This is probably some
horrible news about Missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Yes, she went to Switzerland for a vacation. I warned
her not to go. She probably fell off one of
those alps.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Davis.
Speaker 6 (03:39):
I'm psychic about these things, Connie.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
Poor missus Dribbleman.
Speaker 6 (03:43):
I can just picture her skiing down the elves, not
a care in the world. Suddenly a treacherous curve. She
can't make the turn in time. Over the rim she goes.
She looks down nothing but rocky crags, jacked peaks by Connie,
you're not touching in your breakfast.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Suddenly, I'm not hungry, but aren't you going to finish
your feet cakes until you get Missus Bribleman off those peaks?
I just remembered, Connie, Missus Gribbleman took my advice and decided.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Not to go to Switzerland. She's see she's feeling fine.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I don't want to rush you, Missus Davis, but this
wire calls for an immediate reply.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Look right here on the envelope and.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Let's see immediate reply requested. Well I'm sorry, but I
wait a minute, Connie, Look where this telegram was sent
from through this celephone here? Doesn't that say Springdale?
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Springdale? Yes it does.
Speaker 6 (04:45):
Why that's where Uncle Corky lives or maybe now I
should say lived. Oh, poor uncle Corky.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
He was always so fond of me. He was my
mother's oldest brother. You know we were very close.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I'll bet he was just like an uncle to you. Look,
Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Aren't you being a little prematurely mournful? After all?
Speaker 5 (05:09):
You don't know that he's nobody must be.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
He was eighty seven years old on his last birthday,
and he's had the hives for years.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Well, maybe he'll outgrow them.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
When I think of how Uncle Corky used to play
Sandy Clause every Christmas. The kids at Madison, the faculty,
everybody loved him.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
You remember him, don't you, Connie?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Of course, Missus Davis, he's been coming here every Christmas
for years. Here, I'll open this wire and tell you
what it says.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
No, Connie, No, I won't let you open it. Why
should you be the one to bring me bad news?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
But Missus, I could never again look at you without
associating you with Uncle Corky's passing. I like you too
much to allow such a tragic bridge to come between us, Connie.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
I'll do anything to avoid it.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Oh, but this is ridiculous, Missus Davis. Once I've opened it, you'll.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
See how it's day is rent day, Connie. If you
leave it unopened now, well, I won't charge you for
this week.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Missus Davis, I wouldn't open this telegram if you begged me.
You promise, Connie, I swear it on this stack of wheatcakes.
I know there's a messenger outside waiting for the immediate reply.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
I'll ask him to open it. We hear, Missus Davis. Oh, Herbie,
would you come inside a minute? Please?
Speaker 8 (06:26):
For sure? Got the answer, miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Not yet.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
This is Missus Davis. Herbie, Missus Davis, this is Herbie T.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Williger.
Speaker 8 (06:35):
Oh, place to meet you?
Speaker 5 (06:36):
How do you do?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Missus Davis is a little superstitious about opening telegrams, Herbie,
would you mind me?
Speaker 8 (06:42):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Just open it up, will you?
Speaker 8 (06:44):
But I can't.
Speaker 9 (06:45):
That's the first rule I learned in basic training. Thou
shalt knock monkey with the messages.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
We don't want you to monkey with it. Just open it.
Speaker 9 (06:58):
I'm sorry, Miss Brooks, Well I can't touch it.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Can't We forget about it? For now?
Speaker 8 (07:03):
Forget about it?
Speaker 9 (07:04):
But what will I tell my CEO? This is an
immediate reply requested.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Can't you just tell him there is no reply?
Speaker 8 (07:12):
What me tell the chief there is no reply?
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Please, Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
That is tantamount to telling the admiral, Sir, there are
no boats.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Will I don't care about the Admiral. I'm going to
have another cup of coffee and think this thing over.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I'll put enough on for.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
All of it, all right, Missus Davis.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Why doesn't she want to open the telegram? Miss Brooks, I'm.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Afraid it sheers superstition with her Herbie. Oh, pardon me, well,
if it isn't Walter Dan, Hi am, Missus Brooks. Come in, Walter.
What are you doing up so early on a Saturday?
Speaker 10 (07:48):
Well, I just came back to see if there are
any odd jobs I could do for Missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know, to pick up a little pin money.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Well, I don't know about Missus Davis, but i'll give
you a few pins if you'll do something for me.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Come into the living room.
Speaker 11 (08:00):
You know i'm your slave, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 12 (08:02):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (08:03):
You can open the telegram?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
The telegram, yes, brought by Herbie to Williger here when
he was a much younger man.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Herby. This is Walter Dan.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
Glad to know you. I'm sure, Hi, but I don't
get it. Miss Brooks. Why don't you open it?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Because it belongs to missus Davis? And she asked me
not to.
Speaker 9 (08:22):
Well, then why doesn't she a perfectly natural second question.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
Because she's afraid it might contain some bad news.
Speaker 10 (08:29):
Well, I'd like to help you out, miss Brooks, but
opening other people's messages is very bad luck.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Please, Walter, not you too.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
You should have been at the Conclin's house with me
this morning.
Speaker 10 (08:39):
I'd send Harriet a little note and mister Conklin opened
it by mistake. It was one of my more amorous epistles,
you know, solid goon. Well, his opening it was sure unlucky,
though in what way? Right after he read it he
kicked me down the porch steps.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
I hate to crash headlong into such a nostalgic moment,
but this is getting out of hand, Walter.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
I insist that you open this wire.
Speaker 10 (09:08):
Gosh, miss Brooks, if you're gonna be upset about it,
hand it over here.
Speaker 5 (09:10):
You are God, you can't do it, Walter.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
Oh hi, missus Davis. What's the trouble.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
You remember Uncle Corky, don't you?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Uncle Corky?
Speaker 8 (09:19):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (09:19):
Well, the old fellow with a beard who plays Santa
Claus for us every year?
Speaker 8 (09:23):
Oh sure I remember him?
Speaker 6 (09:24):
How is he he's left?
Speaker 5 (09:27):
As Walter? I'm afraid. That's what this telegram was about.
Speaker 10 (09:31):
Really, But if it was about that wouldn't have a
black border on it.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
No, Uncle Corky has a white beard.
Speaker 8 (09:40):
She was a nice old guy.
Speaker 10 (09:42):
Look, why don't we take this wire over to Harriet's open.
Speaker 8 (09:45):
She's not afraid of anything.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
You're right, Walter.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Anyone who could live with mister Conklin for sixteen years
must be made of iron.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
We'll take it over to Harriet.
Speaker 6 (09:54):
If you'll do nothing of the sword, we'll just let
it rest on this table for a while.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
But how about the it's an immediate argue, Herbie.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Maybe if the telegram rests for a while, Uncle Corky,
you'll feel better.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
On this look starring Eve Arden will continue in just
a moment. But first, here is Verne Smith for bare
skin beauty. It's batsized Pamalay with its famous beauty lather. Yes,
bathsize Pamalay for loveliness all over.
Speaker 7 (10:31):
There's something thrillingly new in this wonderful beauty ladder of
bath sized pamlive soap, new fragrance, new charm, new allure.
See if PA Molive and your daily tuber shower doesn't
leave your shoulders, arms and back. Yes, all of you,
softer and smoother, completely lovelier all over. You'll thrill to
the tender whisper of perfume that leaves on your skin,
(10:54):
a whisper that says, come hither to romance.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
And this new bathsized pa Malave is so big, so thrifty,
economical to use because it lasts so long and gives
so much soft lovely lather so fast.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
That soft lovely ladder with its alluring new fragrance is
palm Olive soaps alone, palm Olif's famous beauty lather.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Yes, a new fragrance, new.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Charm, new allure that can make every woman a vision
of delight in the new revealing fashions that show so
much more of you.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
So remember for bear skin beauty, its Batsize Pomalive with
its famous beauty lather. Yes, Batsize Pamala for loveliness all over.
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Get bath size palm Olive soap tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Menfolk love it too well.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I finally prevailed upon Missus Davis to let me take
the telegram over to the conference to be opened. When
I got to their house, Madison's beloved principle was asleep
in a hammock, and Harriet was sitting on the porch
steps reading Hi, Harriet, what's that you're reading?
Speaker 8 (12:03):
Who at the.
Speaker 11 (12:04):
Western Store in this Brooks? But please lure your voice.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Why don't you want the Indians to hear I.
Speaker 11 (12:10):
Don't want Danny to hear you. He's taking a nap
on the hammer.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
I dropped over to ask a favor of you, Harriet.
It'll probably sound pretty silly to you, but well, you
know how peculiar Missus.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Davis is sometimes.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Of course, she got this telegram a while ago and
simply refuses to open it. She insists that it contains
bad news.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
That is peculiar.
Speaker 9 (12:28):
I wouldn't mind so much, but it's an immediate reply requested.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Oh Herbie, this is Herbie to Williger Harriet.
Speaker 8 (12:35):
A place to make your acquaintance. Ms.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
Conklin. Hello. All I want you to do, Harriet, is
to open the wire me.
Speaker 8 (12:42):
But what don't you can't? She promised Missus Davis. She wouldn't.
Speaker 11 (12:45):
Oh well, then why don't you he can?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
First rule of basic training, he shout, not monkey with
the messages.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Oh it's all just a lot of superstitious nonsense.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Harriet.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Here, tear it open and let's get this over with.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
If you think it's all right for a stranger to
open Missus Davis's wire.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Stranger, you're no stranger to Uncle Corky, Harriet, as I recall,
you're one of his favorite kids here at Madison.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
Oh is this wire from Uncle Corky?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Missus Davis seems to think it's about him, from his
next of.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
Kin or something.
Speaker 8 (13:17):
Next of kin.
Speaker 11 (13:18):
Oh that dear old gentleman. I'll never forget what a
kick he got out of playing Santa Closet Christmas time?
Speaker 4 (13:26):
And now he's gone.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
What is it with that Uncle Corky? The minute you
mentioned his name, people start shoveling. Look, Harriet, all we
know is that the telegram comes from Uncle Corky's hometown.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
You'll just open it now.
Speaker 11 (13:41):
Well, I'm sorry, miss Brooks, but i'd rather not. I'm
very fond of Missus Davison. I don't want to be
the one to find out about her uncle.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Oh great, what do we do now?
Speaker 9 (13:51):
This thing is getting bigger than both of us.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
You're so right, Herbie, but now I really must put
my foot.
Speaker 8 (13:59):
Down while you're at it.
Speaker 13 (14:01):
Put your voice down a notch, will you, mister Colin.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
I didn't know you were away, I.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
Wasn't now that I am. What is all this about
a telegram?
Speaker 3 (14:11):
It belongs to missus Davis, Mister Conkland, she won't open
it because it concerns her Uncle Corky.
Speaker 13 (14:16):
Uncle Corky, that old fraud.
Speaker 8 (14:23):
How can you.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Speak that way?
Speaker 8 (14:24):
Why?
Speaker 11 (14:25):
Uncle Corky's the best Santa Claus that Madison ever had.
Speaker 13 (14:28):
He's a hypocritical old wind bag. Time was when I
was considered the best Santa Claus Madison ever had.
Speaker 11 (14:36):
But Daddy, you said yourself that putting on that big
red tell me who's a.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
Lot of trouble You'll have more trouble trying to get
it off.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Look, mister Conklin, I'm sorry I disturbed your nap, But
if you'll just open this telegram for.
Speaker 8 (14:50):
Why should I open it?
Speaker 13 (14:52):
It makes me mad just to think of that egotistical,
spotlight grabbing.
Speaker 11 (14:55):
Old foolf What don't you see, daddy, Missus Davis, he
was afraid to open the telegram because she thinks it's bad.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
News about Uncle fuf a Corky.
Speaker 11 (15:06):
She's abraded well that Uncle Corky will never play Santa again.
Speaker 13 (15:10):
But what has missus Davis got to never play Santa?
Claus again. You mean she thinks he's yes.
Speaker 8 (15:18):
Oh, that poor old gentleman.
Speaker 13 (15:23):
Oh well, I remember the merry twinkle in his eye
and that rollicking, cheerful voice as he strolled among us.
I remember the first time he came to us at Christmas.
How artfully he played Chris Kringle. What was it he
used to say so cleverly? Oh yes, Oh.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
The egg lived every word of it too. There's something
I'd like to remind you of, mister Conklin. Nobody knows
that Uncle Corky has hold his last hole. Just open
a telegram.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
No, no, I'm sorry, Miss Brooks, but I'll have no
part of this telegram. Although not addicted to silly superstition,
I see no reason to put the lammy on myself. Now,
if you'll excuse me, i'd like to continue my nap, And.
Speaker 8 (16:15):
If you'll excuse me, i'd like to go to lunch.
I'm starved, certainly, my boy.
Speaker 9 (16:19):
Just run along, I'll get a bite at the drug store,
and i'll see you back at missus Davis's house.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Miss Brooks, all right, herby, goodbye.
Speaker 9 (16:24):
Good bye, Herby, goodbye Harriet, goodbye, mister Conklin.
Speaker 13 (16:27):
Goodbye now then Miss Brooks, if you don't mind, who
was there?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
That's the messenger boy, mister Conkland. We've been going steady
since breakfast.
Speaker 13 (16:44):
Oh well, if it isn't too unreasonable a request, will
you and Harriet talk as softly as possible? That is,
if you're staying, Miss Brooke.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
How could I tear myself away from such a charming host?
What are we gonna do about this wire?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I wish I knew, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 11 (17:02):
Wait a minute, Maybe we can read the message without
opening it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
How stick one of our eyes through the little cellophane window.
Speaker 11 (17:11):
I'll get candle and hold it up to the back
of the envelope.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
That way you can see what's inside.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Well, we might as well try it, Harriet, because if
I don't find out what's going on in Springdale soon,
I'll absolutely blow my corky.
Speaker 14 (17:24):
Oh, I don't know what Springdale's coming to.
Speaker 12 (17:37):
What kind of a telegraph outfit is it?
Speaker 8 (17:39):
Anyway, none, I'll send it down. Cauky. You've already waited
two hours for.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
That immediate reply.
Speaker 15 (17:43):
Another five minutes doesn't matter.
Speaker 12 (17:45):
It Gosh, when you're eighty seven, boy, are you sure
you sent the message exactly as I give it to you.
Speaker 15 (17:53):
Well, I'll try and dig up the master copy for you.
How come you're making the trip at this time of year, Cocky?
You usually go away around Christmas, don't you?
Speaker 12 (18:01):
And I used to, but never again. I'm always roped
into playing santy Clause at Madison High School. Darn kids
brought me up under Christmas Street, yank on my beard
and yap jingle bells my ears. But I'd like to
beat him over the head with a chimney.
Speaker 15 (18:19):
You won't have to worry about Christmas this trip, Cocky.
You can take advantage of this nice July weather play
some golf or something.
Speaker 8 (18:26):
Oh not me. I gave up golf a month ago.
Speaker 12 (18:29):
Why in my age, I don't feel safe being so
close to a hole.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
In the ground, I said, side. It's bad from my hives.
Speaker 12 (18:42):
But I'm gonna make this vacation of mine a real
wingeding boy. You know, my niece has a young school
teacher living with her, a real looker.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
What I mean, hot stuff? Ain't cocky?
Speaker 12 (18:55):
Oh she's groovy, jack?
Speaker 15 (18:57):
Oh is that why you said, missus Davis?
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Carky.
Speaker 15 (19:01):
I'll read it to you, shall I, and it'd be
just super And it says arriving tonight. Please advise if
you can put me up, have one week to live
a little and would like to spend it with you.
Speaker 11 (19:11):
Love.
Speaker 12 (19:12):
Uncle Cawkey can't understand what's holding up the answer, Well,
I'm taking the next train regardless. They are your best
Bibbin dugger brooksick Here I come, laughing and the scretching.
Speaker 11 (19:32):
Hold the telegram a little closer to the candle, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
There can you see anything yet?
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Yes, Harriet, I can make out three words very clearly.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
What are these? Famous Brooks?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Don't write telegraph closer to the flame?
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Gets too close, Miss Brooks. Look out the telegrams on fire?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Oh no, this Brooks should dropped it well under the circumstances, Harriet,
I thought it highly advisable. You see, I left my
asbestos gloves at the laundromat, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
Step on.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I'm glad I didn't wear my open toed shoes today.
Speaker 8 (20:05):
What on earth is all this racket? Oh it's you,
miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
You dance divinely.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Thank you, mister Conklin. This is the step that won
me a cup at the Fireman's ball.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
I see.
Speaker 13 (20:21):
Well, if you're quite finished with your little flame dance,
Miss Brooks, I trust that your next step will be
a long one in the direction of your home.
Speaker 11 (20:31):
First, we've got to find out what's in the telegram
for what's left of it.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
It's from Uncle Corky.
Speaker 8 (20:38):
So the hammy old goats alive after all.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Brooks, Well, some of it's been destroyed. Harriet. What's left
says arriving tonight, have one week to live poor uncle Corky.
I remember when I last saw him.
Speaker 13 (21:05):
There was a merry twinkle in his eye, and he
was hoping he would live to see one more Christmas.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
But now he's leaving us.
Speaker 12 (21:12):
Wait.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Wait, I have an idea.
Speaker 13 (21:14):
Uncle Kaky will have another Christmas tonight, Christmas in July. Harriet,
get ready to do some Christmas shopping.
Speaker 8 (21:21):
Yes, Daddy and Miss Brooks. Decorate your living room.
Speaker 13 (21:24):
Get a Christmas tree, artificial snow, bright colored lights.
Speaker 16 (21:27):
We're going to give Uncle Kaky the best Christmas he
ever had.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Oh, Uncle Kirky will simply adore this Christmas tree.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Cannie. It's a silver fair, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
Yes, it'll match his beard beautifully.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
I hope the others get here with their Christmas gifts
before Uncle Kirky arrives. It's already eight o'clock and they
said they.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
What was that?
Speaker 5 (21:56):
Oh that's heard me.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
He fell asleep on the couch this afternoon waiting for
the immediate reply.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Poor Herbie, his CEO will think he's gone over the hills.
Speaker 16 (22:08):
Da.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Would you plug this in the socket please? I want
to see how the tree looks with the lights on?
Speaker 5 (22:12):
All right, Kenny, the how does it look?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Lovely, missus Davis? Really beautiful a Christmas tree?
Speaker 8 (22:21):
Have I been here that long now?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Herbie? It's still Saturday?
Speaker 8 (22:31):
Never mind the day. What's the month?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
It's July. You fell asleep on the couch. You've only
been here twelve hours?
Speaker 8 (22:40):
Twelve hours? Have you got the immediate reply yet?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
What's your rush?
Speaker 8 (22:47):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Excuse me?
Speaker 11 (22:50):
Merry Christmasmas, bride, May Christmas?
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Oh, may we come in.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
You look, Missus Davis. A pair of perspiring carollers just
straighted in.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Carrie and osgood Merry Christmas Christmas.
Speaker 9 (23:13):
Oh they'll drum me out of the service for this.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Ah.
Speaker 13 (23:23):
The spirit of the Yule tide is in the air.
Speaker 8 (23:25):
And what a lovely Christmas tree?
Speaker 13 (23:28):
And look at those luxuriant pine needles.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
That's Herbie. He needs a shave.
Speaker 11 (23:35):
The tree is really beautiful, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 9 (23:38):
In two years I would have been up for a pension.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
You can put your gifts under the tree, or excuse me.
Speaker 10 (23:47):
Merry Christmas, missus Brooks, and a happy Easter to you, Walter.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Come into the living room, Frands. We've been joined by
one of Sandra's little helpers.
Speaker 8 (23:56):
May go, it's you, Dander.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Look out the window.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
There's a cab at the curb, and Uncle Corky's getting
out of it. Now, let's get together on this. If
we're to succeed in brightening his remaining days, we've really
got to make him believe it's Christmas. Give him that
old yule Tide spirit.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
We know what to do, Miss Books.
Speaker 16 (24:19):
Just wait till Old Corky topples through that door.
Speaker 12 (24:23):
I left the.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Latch off the door.
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Honey, come in, Uncle Kakey, Hello Margaret, I.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Let him have it. Folks, Jingle jingle bell?
Speaker 12 (24:49):
What are you whole home about your big old.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
Why?
Speaker 16 (24:54):
Uncle Kaky?
Speaker 13 (24:54):
We want you to have one more real Christmas Christmas.
Speaker 12 (24:59):
What did I do up into a nest cuckoo?
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Please, Uncle Kirky, we want this week to be the
happiest you've ever spent.
Speaker 12 (25:08):
Well, then how about getting some of these people out
of here and leaving me alone with Miss Brooks?
Speaker 6 (25:16):
Did you hear that tunny Uncle Kirky is fond of you?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh that's very touching, Uncle Kirky. But isn't this your
last week?
Speaker 12 (25:25):
Might well be sis, But what a way to go?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Stars Our Miss Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 8 (25:43):
But first, dream.
Speaker 13 (25:45):
Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Tonight, yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives you
Kdoman's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leads hair
(26:12):
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandriff, glistening
with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream
lathers instantly, no special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo,
so gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight,
(26:32):
Yes tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 13 (26:36):
A dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful.
Speaker 8 (26:43):
Luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 12 (26:46):
You owe your crowning glory.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Too a luster cream shampoooo.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And now once again here is I'll miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
As soon as mister Conklin discovered that Uncle Corky wasn't
on his last legs, he gathered up his Christmas packages,
his daughter, harried, and Walter Denton and left in a
cloud of frustration. Heard to Williger, left too after I
had promised him an immediate reply by the end of
the year. After missus Davis had gone to bed, I
started for my room.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Oh I didn't know you were still.
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Up, eh?
Speaker 12 (27:26):
How about stepping out for a stroll, Brooks?
Speaker 8 (27:28):
It he's a full moon.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Why errow, what have you been spiking your pablum with?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Frankly, Uncle Corky, I'm afraid you're a few minutes too.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
Old for me.
Speaker 12 (27:44):
Too old. Why don't you know that the longer a
man lived, the more he knows about romance. I may
be eighty seven, but I really got the know how.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
You may have the know how, but believe me, you'll
still you'll find it tough to get the.
Speaker 8 (28:01):
Who with you. Give me another hour, Miss Grushow. Brought
to you by Parmai Soap, your.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Beauty Hawk and Luster Cream tampoo for soft Glamorous, Caressable.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Hair Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Arden, is produced by
Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis, with music
by wilbra Hatch.
Speaker 8 (28:21):
Mister Conklin is played by Gail Gordon.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Others in the night's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Krenna,
Gloria McMillan, Joe Kerns, Jerry Hausner and Peter Leeds. Here's
a money saving offerman a giant tube and a large
tube of Pamela Brushless shaving cream for forty nine cents. Yes,
a seventy cent value for only forty nine cents.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
This offer is made solely to prove you.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Too can get smoother, more comfortable shaves the Palmala Grushless way.
Just follow directions on the tube and treat your face
to wonderful shaves. Yes, for extra shaving comfort at extra
low cost. Don't miss the Parmela of Brushless. Bargain at
drug and toilet goods counters. Get both giant and large
size Parmela of Brushless a seventy cent value for only
(29:08):
forty nine cents.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
For mystery, liberally sprinkled with laughs, listen to mister and
missus North Tuesday evening over most of these same stations,
and be with us again next week at the same
time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brookes bab
Leaman speaking for CBS the Columbia broadcast in sixteen
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