August 16, 2025 • 28 mins
Discover "Our Miss Brooks Collection," a selection of the best episodes from the beloved radio comedy series. Experience the humorous and heartwarming tales of Miss Brooks and her school adventures. This collection is a must-listen for fans of classic radio comedies and nostalgic storytelling.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Parma It Soul your Beauty Holt and Luster Cream shampoo
for salt glamorous caressible hair.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Bring you Our.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. Most teachers take a pretty
active interest in their school's various athletic teams, but our
Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, could
never get too enthusiastic about the baseball team.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That is until mister Barnton, Madison's bashful biologist, took over
the coaching job. Then I watched every game with avid interests.
I even studied up on baseball terms, until by the
third game on Madison's schedule, I could accurately describe every
play in every checker, and I even knew the names
(00:50):
of the pictures warming up in the pig pen a bullpen.
Last Thursday morning, I really looked forward to picking up
some firsthand knowledge of the game. Walter Dentham, the manager
of the team, and Stretched nod Grass, it's star player,
were to pick me up and.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Drive me to school.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I had asked my landlady, missus Davis, to wake me
promptly at seven point thirty.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
Oh, Connie, git up, Connie, Hmmm, do.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
You want me to pinch hi? Oh it's you, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
I do hope you're safe. Connie. Ooh, say sayfe where
from the looks of your dead cheets you just lead
into home plate? Now get up here, Walter and Strait
should be here soon.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Oh that's right. The Rover boys are picking me up today,
aren't they.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
They are a grand couple of kids, Connie, and they're
always together. I've never seen two people so inseparable, just.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Like mister Barnton and myself, except that we're separable. I'd
like to wear something's sporty today. Let's see, now, what
do I have that looks real baseballish?
Speaker 5 (01:51):
How about your gray dress with the white spreading sleeves.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
No, not today, although it does make me look a
little like a bat.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
All about your here's suck a house dress?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
No too formal. I know a light green gabardine suit
with a smart cardigan.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Jacket, Purcas. I'll get it for you right away, Tunnie.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Well, thanks a lot, Missus Davis. Where is it and
Sherry's apartment store? It'll cost you one hundred and ten dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
There you go teasing me again. Oh, by the way,
the boys went together last night. I wonder why I
ran into Stretch at the movies. He was sitting with
a girl.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
That's why you was the girl.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Harriett counting Harriet complin.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
But she's Walker's girl.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh then maybe that's twice. Stretch corner at me in
the lobby and ask me not to breathe a wood
of it to a living soul.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
What does that make mean? I know it just slips out.
But whatever you do, mister David, don't let it slip
out in front of water. Don't even bring up the
subject of movies.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Oh I won't, Honey. I know how awful lady is
thinks somebody comes between two people who belong together.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Me too, missus Davis. I've learned that little lesson the
hard way through my association with mister Boynton.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
But who comes between you and mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Mister Barnton, I'll get it. Hello, boys come in well, Howard,
Damon and Pitheus today human Rue, Damon and Pithius they
were good friends Stretch, like you and Walter.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Oh if they go to Madison, and if they did,
it was before my time. Now.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Miss Tuks was.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Just acknowledging the fact that we're pale Stretch, you know,
like Lenny and Georgian of Mice and men.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Ooh, I like that stretch.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Don't tell me you read of Mice and Men.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
No, Walter read it to me. I like the part
where George tells Lenny about the rabbits. You gotta read
that to me again sometime, Walter.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I will stretch.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
You know. In a lot of ways, you two are
just like Lennie and George, especially Lennie.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I don't how could Walter get to be manager of
the baseball team if that's all the smart he was.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Walter wasn't my candidate for Lennie.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Oh, handle boys, Davis, how are you this morning?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
How a fine David sounds like the world's smaller fire.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
I think it's wonderful the way you two boys kick together,
sharing all your experiences. Why you even share?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It's getting late, Missus Davis. We've got to run along now.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
No, no, I almost let the cat out in what cat?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Our cat? Minerva? She almost slipped out between Missus Davis
and the kitchen door.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yo, the kitchen door, that's right?
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Will this.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I'm getting so absent minded lately, can't even remember what
I did one day ago. Of course, I've been thember
going to the movies last night. That's why I thought, oops.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Oops, it's an Nekimo movie starring ingrid Eke An void
will be late for school. Be careful, Stretch, who just
(05:24):
missed that other car by inches?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
What other car?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Well, then maybe you are to drive, tells the nervousness
books stretches.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
A natural born athlete. He's gonna make a swell driver.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
He's going to make a swell driver. Stretch. How long
have you been driving an automobile?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
There's absolutely mustn't to worry about, miss Brooks. I've been
driving for days.
Speaker 7 (05:44):
For days?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
How many days? Well nine?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
If you want to cut the day, I learned.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Howl to get a down pat Miss Brooks. He remembers
everything I tott him.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Don't you stretch my shirtoo water.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
First I gently depressed the clutch pedal, Then I gently
shift in the first, then I gently let the clutch off.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Then you gently pluck the pedestrians off the bumper and stretch.
If you're going to pass another vehicle, please pass him
on the.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Oh god, you're just teasing me, miss Brooks. We were
miles away from that phantom roadster.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Bhandom roadster. That was a moving van. If you'll look
in the rear view mirror, you'll see the driver kneeling
on the floor of the cab with his hands. Class.
Better cut down your speed.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
A little Stretch, superl had a boy, you know, Miss Brooks.
Stretch and I have been pals ever since the day
we met in your third term English class.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
And I remember that was two years ago, and we've
all been together ever since.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
That's nice that you're such good pals. Only sure are,
miss Brooks. There isn't anything that could make me feel
any differently toward old Stretch.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Here, I hope not Waller.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
There's just one thing I gotta straighten you my about,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
That's girls.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I gotta take old stretching hands.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
You better use two hands.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
And yeah, he's altogether too shy and retiring when it
comes to the fair Sex boilume mud.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You are too Bilum.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Not you are too I'm laying eight to five myself. Uh,
not to change the subject too obviously, But what are
we doing on this street? Is this a shortcut to school?
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Oh no, miss Brooks, I told him to go this way.
We're gonna pick up my girl. You know, Harriet's trunkler
take it easy now, Stretched, Harriet lives right down his
flock here.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, I know what's that?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
He said?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Whoa to that horse?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
All ran away?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
What horse?
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
What horse? How do you like that he did? Run away? Well,
here's the conflent homestead. There's Harriet right at the curb.
We can pick her up and keep right on going
to school. Please, Stretch, I didn't mean for you to
pick her up on the fender, he miss Brooks Haigh Walters,
Good morning, Harriet. Welcome aboard.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
I'll hold the door for you, Harriet. Get him back
with me.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Thanks Walter. Hello, Stretch.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Well let's go.
Speaker 6 (08:06):
Notice how much lighter the backseat is, Harriet?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Why, yes, it does seem roomies were convertible? How did
you get that out there?
Speaker 6 (08:13):
The right side fell off yesterday? I had it in
my garage though.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
That's what I like about a convertible in wet weather.
You're gonna always put the sides on.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
How's the driving coming along, stret What you're not very
talkative today, are you?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
He's concentrating, Harriet. Keep it up, Stretch, old boy, old boy.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Oh, say Harriet about last night. I'm sorry I couldn't
take you to the movies, but I had to work
on the baseball schedule.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh, I wouldn't watch you to overlook the schedule, Walter.
Don't worry about me. I had a thoroughly wonderful evening.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Oh did you go to the movies anyway?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Of course? Who with whom? Walter? You see after the
word with which is the definition books?
Speaker 5 (08:56):
With whom did you go with?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Harriet?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Take me out with the crowd? Boy, I'm sure glad
baseball season is here? Or I sure like baseball boys?
Don't you miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
And how boy?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I'm sure like baseball boy? Don't you Harriet?
Speaker 8 (09:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Boy?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Personally, I think there's nothing like a real romantic movie,
provided of course you're seeing it with the right party.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Me too, Like I just asked you who you ware whom?
And I think I can answer that question, Walter. Mister
Boynton and I saw the same movies that Harriet saw.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Oh what did y'all see?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It was the ideal picture for mister Boynton and myself,
John Garfield and Jennifer Jones, and we were strangers.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Why didn't see you there? Did you?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Draft? Stretch?
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Well?
Speaker 6 (09:47):
How could he have seen anybody at the movies? He
had to help his dad at the pet shop. At
least that's what he told me he had to do
last night.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Sure, Walter, that's what I did have to do at
the time when you asked me, well, here's the school.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
That, oh Madison put the brake on? Stretch?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Where's the schools, Brooks?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Just one block backstretch? You had to shop in your
reflexes a little, don't bother. Backing up the walk will
do us good.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Okay, if you'll all get out here, I'll find a
place to park.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Oh you'll wait a minute. I want to get something settled.
Did you go to the movies last night's stretch?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Sure, Carol. My dad decided to close early, and I
got fifty cents for helping up, so I just up
and went.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
And I guess you just up and ran into Harry
and huh.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But we did get together.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Wall theer's my girl, my best girl and my best pal.
Seeing movies line my back?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
How long have you been showing movies on your back?
You're taking this much too serious, Please, miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
I'll handle this in my own way. Stretch, You've made
a fool out of me?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Oh could I Walder?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Good question, there's only one to settle this thing.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Meet me behind the handball court after school.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
But Walter, you can't mean you want to fight.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I must.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
I must get satisfaction.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Satisfaction you'll get fractured.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Let me discuss this.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Thing comes nothing more to discuss.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I'll see you after school.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
You you false friends.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
All the wait I'm going with you don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Go ahead, Harriet tell him.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
That we just good bye, Harry.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
This is awful. What will I do, Miss Brooks? I
just bumped into Harriet accidentally, and she insisted that we
sit together. I can't fight Walter. I'm almost a foot
taller than him. Besides, I ain't mad.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Well, that's relaxed, stretch. I think there's a way out
of this impending duel. You see, inas much as he
challenges you. You've got the choice of weapons.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Hell take me, and I think I know.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
A way you two can battle without anyone getting hurried
a bit, cause that Miss Brooks, you'll fight a battle
of wits.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Cying you Varden.
Speaker 8 (12:05):
Will continue in just a moment.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
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(12:58):
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Speaker 7 (13:16):
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Speaker 3 (13:27):
Well. By lunchtime, the news of the impending grudge match
between Walter and Stretch had spread throughout the school, interest
with its fever pitch. In fact, you'd think that Joe
Lewis had just announced that he was going to fight
again again. Jill decermine that stopped if one sided brawl
between six foot five Stretch and five foot six Walter.
(13:48):
I went right to the source of the trouble and
had a heart to heart with Harriet Conference. It's up
to you to prevent this fight. Harriet, You've got to
tell Walter that your meeting the Stretch was accidental.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But it isn't just last night, Miss Brooke. Walter knows it.
For weeks now, Fretch hasn't been able to keep his
eyes off me.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
How does Walterer know that I reminded him.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Besides, they won't really hurt each other, Miss Brooks, and
it'll do Water a lot of good to fight, win
or lose. It'll make a bigger man out of him.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I agree, Harriet, but only until the swelling goes down.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So Miss Brooks, think of the romance of it. Two
knights of old jouting for their lady's fair. I'll bet
you'd like it if mister Boynton was fighting for your.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Favor, mister Boynton.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Can't you just picture mister Boyton in a suit of armor.
Can't you just see him riding force to do battles?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yes, I can, Harriet, mounted on a big fiery frog. God,
I don't think mister Boynton would or would he.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But don't you see, miss Brooks, I've got to make
myself more desirable to Walter because of Daddy's feelings toward him.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
What are Daddy's feelings toward him?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Loathing?
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Mostly?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You should have heard how Daddy described Aller the other
day when he drove me home from school, Right to
his face. He called him a teenage waste of time
on field.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Now, I didn't know your father had it in him.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
But I've got to stop.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
This fight, whether you like it or not, Harriet, And
you're mentioning, mister Boynton has given me a good idea.
In fact, it's given me a couple of good ideas,
but that one will have to wait.
Speaker 8 (15:27):
Come in, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Hello, mister Barton, I missed you in the cafeteria today.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Well, I didn't go to the cafeteria today, Miss Brooks. H.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I guess that's why I missed you in the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (15:39):
I've brought some sandwiches with me from home so I
can have lunch with McDougall here. You remember Mac, my
pet frog.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Of course, Hi Max. He sounds like he enjoyed his sandwich.
Mister Bryton. The reason I came into the laboratory was
to say, what's that sent in here?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (16:01):
That's a new deorder in Miss Brooks. It's called sweet air.
Pretty fancy, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Yes, indeed makes the white mice smell like mink. What
have I started to say? Mister Boyd? And I stopped
in here to ask you to.
Speaker 8 (16:12):
Do something for me, anything, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Well I did you say anything?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I did, then, mister Boyd.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Now cut it out, Connie.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
One thing at the time, mister Gordon, I came here
to ask you to stop a fight.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
A fight Oh you mean between stretched not grass and water. Denton.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
You know about it.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
The whole school knows about it. I'm afraid it's too
late to stop it, Miss Brooks. In fact, I've arranged
to get the boxing gloves and have a temporary ring
built in the gym during the next period a range.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Why then, you are actually promoting this ridiculous Not.
Speaker 8 (16:44):
Take it easy, miss Brooks. It's better than having them
fight in the street for their fists. This way they'll
get it all out of their systems and be better
friends afterwards.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But they're the best of friends now after this morning, anyway,
Why Stretch worships Walter Denton.
Speaker 8 (16:56):
Well, a few rounds of boxing won't change that. In
fact that the fight, Stretch will be closer to water
than ever before.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Only if he acts as a pall bearer. The Stretch
is almost a foot taller than Walter.
Speaker 8 (17:07):
Mister Boyton, Oh, that's nothing. It just means that Walter
will have to get in close under his opponent's guard.
But I remember when I was in grade school, a
great big fellow picked a fight with me. Must have
been eight inches taller than I was, But I remembered
what I'd learned in Jim about the smaller fellow getting
in close. A fight didn't take very long. One punch
and it was all over.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Really, mister Barton.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
Yes, I didn't get in close enough, but I had
lots of fights after that.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
You did tell me, mister Borton, in these boyhood fights
of yours, were there any girls involved?
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Gosh normous books, I wouldn't hit a girl.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, bravo for you. Well, what I mean is, take now,
for instance, if you walked into a movie some night
and saw me with another man, what would you say
to him?
Speaker 8 (17:53):
Do I know the man?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Why not?
Speaker 8 (17:56):
Well, I wouldn't say anything to him. I don't believe
in talking to strangers. Of course, if you introduced me
to him.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
It just happens that this man picked me up in
front of the movie.
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Well, that isn't very nice. At least he could have
done's pick you up at home.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Let me paint another picture for you, sir Galahad. You
and I have a dinner date. As we're going through
the door of the restaurant, a tall dark man with
a big black mustache purposely jockled me. What do you do,
mister barnhom.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Are we going into the restaurant or coming out on
the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I've got one more picture to paint and then I'm
gonna throw away my easel. You and I are seated
in the parked car on Lake view drive. All of
a sudden, a man's face appears on your side of
the car.
Speaker 8 (18:42):
I know he's a cop. He's holding a flashlight on us,
and he says, what are you two doing in there?
And then I say nothing officer, and he says, then
you get out and hold a flashlight.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Well, now that you've defended me with your last drop
of blood, Ronald, let's please this tropical paradise and return
to Liverpool. I'm sure Papa will give you your old
job back. My old job, yes, measuring orange rind and
his marmalade factory. There's a hot one you can kick
(19:27):
around for a while. Now I'm going down to mister
Conklin's office. He'll put a stop for this fighting, non
Spitlis Brooks. Good buy, mister Boytan. Then you get out
and hold the flash light.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh fine, he just got it, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
How do you feel about pride fighting?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Well, I'm a little out of condition, but oh, oh,
you mean in general?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I mean here it's Madison. I think you should know
that there's a so called grudge match going to be
fought this afternoon between two of our students.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A grudge match where.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
In the gym. They even they're even building a temporary
ring for it.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I forbid it. Personal combat is no longer the civilized
way to settle personal differences.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Oh good for you, mister Conklin, And I was hoping
you'd react that way, especially since the fight is over
your own.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Daughter, Harriet, Harriet, what has she got to do with this?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Well, you see, Harriet was at a movie last night
with Stretched Snodgrass.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Stretched Snodgrass, medicine star athlete. Is he sweet on her?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Only from a distance, mister Conklin, But she's been going
around with Walter Denon steadily and when he found.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Out Walter Denson, he's nothing but.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
A teenage waste of time on wheels.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Brilliantly put Miss Brooke, although a little reminiscent.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
But about this fight, Stretch is so much taller than Walter.
He has every advantage.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yes he has. What time is this fight going to
be held, Miss Brooke?
Speaker 4 (20:56):
But mister Conklin, aren't you going to stop it?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Robin, I'm going to career acquire me a miss Brooks,
if you'll just ring the bell von Yes, mister yeah.
As you all know, this is a grudge fight between
(21:20):
two members of our undergraduate bud. On my left, wearing
purple trunks and weighing one twenty eight, I give you medicines,
outstanding athletes, a poor let, a man of whom any
schools should justly be plowed right, not grass, And on
my right wearing black trunks and a catcher's masks.
Speaker 8 (21:39):
I get.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Take that mask off, Denton, I give you Walter. Then
I will referee about while counting for the knockdowns. We
will have our Miss Brooks now in as much as
many of you could get close enough to this temporary
ring to see the contest. Ms Brooks will also officiate
at the PA system to bring you a blow by
(22:06):
blow account of the proceeding. Are you already, Miss Brooks
want me?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
We'll full of testing will.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And if you boys will join me in the center
of the ring, I'll give you your final instruction.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
As the fighters go to the center of the ring.
Just a word of reminder, boys, if, like Walter Denton,
you're about to get your head knocked off, why not
putting Adam's pat on it first? And now let's listen
to the referee instructions.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Very rude, I am here for one reason, and one
reason only to see that fair play is strictly observed.
You will at all times be honestly and impartially judged.
Now then stretch, Yes, mister Conkon, I want you to
be sure and go to a neutral corner every time
Denton is on the floor.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
D yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Where do you want your body? Oh?
Speaker 8 (22:54):
Well I have.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Now, then you too. I want a good, clean fighter.
May the better man win, and win quickly? Straight go
to your corners, come out fighting.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
There goes the bell. Call. Oh, Walter's down, fell over
his shoelace. Now it's tied, and the two men meet
in the center of the ring. They're cautious at first.
Walter is dancing lightly around, left arm extended, stretches, dancing around.
Now they're dancing around together.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Hit the comp and breaks them and once more.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
They circle around carefully. Now here it is the first exchange.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Well, come on, stretch, Why don't you show a punch.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I don't want to hit you first. Water, you hit
me first? No, you hit me first, No, you hit
me first.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
They're going at it, hammer and tongue, mostly tongue.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Fight murdered to water, Come on, then mix it up,
makes it up. This crowd came here to see a fife.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It looks like you're really going to start hitting each other.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Our line at the bell and there's the end of
the round one. Walter ded is in the corner right
above us. How do you feel, Walter? No, let's see
how Stretch is doing over in his corner. His seconds
are just giving him a good gargle. He can use it.
He was pretty eloquent in that last round. Now he's
(24:20):
on his feet in Mister Conklin is motioning for the
second round to begin. There they go again, both men steel,
pretty fresh and ready for each other's best dialogue.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Listen you too, You've got to do some fighting this round.
Let's come on, Walter, take a poke at me.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
No, Stretch, you take a poke at me, can't well,
I'm looking at you. Well we'll just close our eyes
and swing. Then the crowd'll think are really fighting?
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Come on? How cool?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Goshness, Books, I didn't mean to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
He'll be all right in a minute, Walter, and you
mustn't feel badly about it. This is the way the
crowd wanted it to end. You heard them cheering, didn't you.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
I don't care about the crowd, Miss Brooks, I just
care about my pal.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Stretch.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
He's perfectly all right.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Stretch, Come on, Stretch, Tell Walter you're all right.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, Sure, I'm okay. Water, let's shake hands.
Speaker 6 (25:15):
You be pal.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And now that you and the students have had complete satisfaction,
there's one thing I'd like you to do for me. Sure,
Miss Brooks, what is it? Well, while he's still out,
you two had better carry mister Conklin down to his office.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
All Miss Brooks returns in just a moment. But first,
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him how much lovelier your hair can look after a
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(26:01):
even in hardest water, glamorizes your hair as you wash it.
Luster Cream not a soap, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo leave's hair fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable, gives new beauty to all
hairdoos or permanence four ounce jar, one dollar smaller sizes
(26:24):
either tubes or jars. Tonight try luster cream shampoo and
be a dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
You your curly gloried too a loster cream shampoo. And
(26:46):
now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Well, we took mister Conklin back to his office, and
it didn't take long for him to come too.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Uh where what happened?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
What an accident?
Speaker 8 (26:56):
Mister Conklin, dend you you struck me, But he didn't
mean it.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Mister Conklin didn't mean it.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I saw him winding up, But it was an accident.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
All Walder did was close his eyes like this, then
pull his arm.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Back like this, and then swing like this. Well, Madison
is the only high school you boys can attend.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Next week.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Put him into another hour, Miss Bookshel brought you by
palmatic chaal your beauty Halt and Ruster the cream canto
her soft glamorous aresfable hair ar Miss Brooks starring e Bardon,
is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis,
with music by Wilbra hatch Man. Here is actual factual
(27:53):
proof of more comfortable, actually smoother shaves by using palmative
lather shaving cream twelve fifty one men tried the Pamalave
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(28:13):
See if you don't get more comfortable, actually smoother shaves.
The Pamala rather shaving cream way. More mystery, liberally sprinkled
with laughs. Listen to Mister and Missus North, the exciting
fun fact adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife.
Tune and Tuesday evenings over most of these same stations,
and be with us again next week at the same
time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks Bob
(28:36):
Lamann speaking. Stay tuned now for Life with Luigi, which
follows over most of these stations.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
This is CDs for Columbia Broadcasting
Parma It Soul your Beauty Holt and Luster Cream shampoo
for salt glamorous caressible hair.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Bring you Our.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Miss Brooks starring Eve Arden. Most teachers take a pretty
active interest in their school's various athletic teams, but our
Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, could
never get too enthusiastic about the baseball team.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
That is until mister Barnton, Madison's bashful biologist, took over
the coaching job. Then I watched every game with avid interests.
I even studied up on baseball terms, until by the
third game on Madison's schedule, I could accurately describe every
play in every checker, and I even knew the names
(00:50):
of the pictures warming up in the pig pen a bullpen.
Last Thursday morning, I really looked forward to picking up
some firsthand knowledge of the game. Walter Dentham, the manager
of the team, and Stretched nod Grass, it's star player,
were to pick me up and.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Drive me to school.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I had asked my landlady, missus Davis, to wake me
promptly at seven point thirty.
Speaker 5 (01:11):
Oh, Connie, git up, Connie, Hmmm, do.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
You want me to pinch hi? Oh it's you, Missus Davis.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
I do hope you're safe. Connie. Ooh, say sayfe where
from the looks of your dead cheets you just lead
into home plate? Now get up here, Walter and Strait
should be here soon.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Oh that's right. The Rover boys are picking me up today,
aren't they.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
They are a grand couple of kids, Connie, and they're
always together. I've never seen two people so inseparable, just.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Like mister Barnton and myself, except that we're separable. I'd
like to wear something's sporty today. Let's see, now, what
do I have that looks real baseballish?
Speaker 5 (01:51):
How about your gray dress with the white spreading sleeves.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
No, not today, although it does make me look a
little like a bat.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
All about your here's suck a house dress?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
No too formal. I know a light green gabardine suit
with a smart cardigan.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Jacket, Purcas. I'll get it for you right away, Tunnie.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Well, thanks a lot, Missus Davis. Where is it and
Sherry's apartment store? It'll cost you one hundred and ten dollars.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
There you go teasing me again. Oh, by the way,
the boys went together last night. I wonder why I
ran into Stretch at the movies. He was sitting with
a girl.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
That's why you was the girl.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Harriett counting Harriet complin.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
But she's Walker's girl.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh then maybe that's twice. Stretch corner at me in
the lobby and ask me not to breathe a wood
of it to a living soul.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
What does that make mean? I know it just slips out.
But whatever you do, mister David, don't let it slip
out in front of water. Don't even bring up the
subject of movies.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Oh I won't, Honey. I know how awful lady is
thinks somebody comes between two people who belong together.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Me too, missus Davis. I've learned that little lesson the
hard way through my association with mister Boynton.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
But who comes between you and mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Mister Barnton, I'll get it. Hello, boys come in well, Howard,
Damon and Pitheus today human Rue, Damon and Pithius they
were good friends Stretch, like you and Walter.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Oh if they go to Madison, and if they did,
it was before my time. Now.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Miss Tuks was.
Speaker 6 (03:40):
Just acknowledging the fact that we're pale Stretch, you know,
like Lenny and Georgian of Mice and men.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Ooh, I like that stretch.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Don't tell me you read of Mice and Men.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
No, Walter read it to me. I like the part
where George tells Lenny about the rabbits. You gotta read
that to me again sometime, Walter.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I will stretch.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
You know. In a lot of ways, you two are
just like Lennie and George, especially Lennie.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I don't how could Walter get to be manager of
the baseball team if that's all the smart he was.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Walter wasn't my candidate for Lennie.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Oh, handle boys, Davis, how are you this morning?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
How a fine David sounds like the world's smaller fire.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
I think it's wonderful the way you two boys kick together,
sharing all your experiences. Why you even share?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It's getting late, Missus Davis. We've got to run along now.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
No, no, I almost let the cat out in what cat?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Our cat? Minerva? She almost slipped out between Missus Davis
and the kitchen door.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yo, the kitchen door, that's right?
Speaker 6 (04:49):
Will this.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
I'm getting so absent minded lately, can't even remember what
I did one day ago. Of course, I've been thember
going to the movies last night. That's why I thought, oops.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Oops, it's an Nekimo movie starring ingrid Eke An void
will be late for school. Be careful, Stretch, who just
(05:24):
missed that other car by inches?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
What other car?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Well, then maybe you are to drive, tells the nervousness
books stretches.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
A natural born athlete. He's gonna make a swell driver.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
He's going to make a swell driver. Stretch. How long
have you been driving an automobile?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
There's absolutely mustn't to worry about, miss Brooks. I've been
driving for days.
Speaker 7 (05:44):
For days?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
How many days? Well nine?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
If you want to cut the day, I learned.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Howl to get a down pat Miss Brooks. He remembers
everything I tott him.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Don't you stretch my shirtoo water.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
First I gently depressed the clutch pedal, Then I gently
shift in the first, then I gently let the clutch off.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Then you gently pluck the pedestrians off the bumper and stretch.
If you're going to pass another vehicle, please pass him
on the.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Oh god, you're just teasing me, miss Brooks. We were
miles away from that phantom roadster.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Bhandom roadster. That was a moving van. If you'll look
in the rear view mirror, you'll see the driver kneeling
on the floor of the cab with his hands. Class.
Better cut down your speed.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
A little Stretch, superl had a boy, you know, Miss Brooks.
Stretch and I have been pals ever since the day
we met in your third term English class.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
And I remember that was two years ago, and we've
all been together ever since.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
That's nice that you're such good pals. Only sure are,
miss Brooks. There isn't anything that could make me feel
any differently toward old Stretch.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Here, I hope not Waller.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
There's just one thing I gotta straighten you my about,
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
That's girls.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I gotta take old stretching hands.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
You better use two hands.
Speaker 6 (07:00):
And yeah, he's altogether too shy and retiring when it
comes to the fair Sex boilume mud.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You are too Bilum.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Not you are too I'm laying eight to five myself. Uh,
not to change the subject too obviously, But what are
we doing on this street? Is this a shortcut to school?
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Oh no, miss Brooks, I told him to go this way.
We're gonna pick up my girl. You know, Harriet's trunkler
take it easy now, Stretched, Harriet lives right down his
flock here.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, I know what's that?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
He said?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Whoa to that horse?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
All ran away?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
What horse?
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:34):
What horse? How do you like that he did? Run away? Well,
here's the conflent homestead. There's Harriet right at the curb.
We can pick her up and keep right on going
to school. Please, Stretch, I didn't mean for you to
pick her up on the fender, he miss Brooks Haigh Walters,
Good morning, Harriet. Welcome aboard.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
I'll hold the door for you, Harriet. Get him back
with me.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Thanks Walter. Hello, Stretch.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Well let's go.
Speaker 6 (08:06):
Notice how much lighter the backseat is, Harriet?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Why, yes, it does seem roomies were convertible? How did
you get that out there?
Speaker 6 (08:13):
The right side fell off yesterday? I had it in
my garage though.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
That's what I like about a convertible in wet weather.
You're gonna always put the sides on.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
How's the driving coming along, stret What you're not very
talkative today, are you?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
He's concentrating, Harriet. Keep it up, Stretch, old boy, old boy.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Oh, say Harriet about last night. I'm sorry I couldn't
take you to the movies, but I had to work
on the baseball schedule.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh, I wouldn't watch you to overlook the schedule, Walter.
Don't worry about me. I had a thoroughly wonderful evening.
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Oh did you go to the movies anyway?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Of course? Who with whom? Walter? You see after the
word with which is the definition books?
Speaker 5 (08:56):
With whom did you go with?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Harriet?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Take me out with the crowd? Boy, I'm sure glad
baseball season is here? Or I sure like baseball boys?
Don't you miss Brooks?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
And how boy?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
I'm sure like baseball boy? Don't you Harriet?
Speaker 8 (09:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Boy?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Personally, I think there's nothing like a real romantic movie,
provided of course you're seeing it with the right party.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Me too, Like I just asked you who you ware whom?
And I think I can answer that question, Walter. Mister
Boynton and I saw the same movies that Harriet saw.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
Oh what did y'all see?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
It was the ideal picture for mister Boynton and myself,
John Garfield and Jennifer Jones, and we were strangers.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Why didn't see you there? Did you?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Draft? Stretch?
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Well?
Speaker 6 (09:47):
How could he have seen anybody at the movies? He
had to help his dad at the pet shop. At
least that's what he told me he had to do
last night.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Sure, Walter, that's what I did have to do at
the time when you asked me, well, here's the school.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
That, oh Madison put the brake on? Stretch?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Where's the schools, Brooks?
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Just one block backstretch? You had to shop in your
reflexes a little, don't bother. Backing up the walk will
do us good.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Okay, if you'll all get out here, I'll find a
place to park.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Oh you'll wait a minute. I want to get something settled.
Did you go to the movies last night's stretch?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Sure, Carol. My dad decided to close early, and I
got fifty cents for helping up, so I just up
and went.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
And I guess you just up and ran into Harry
and huh.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
But we did get together.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Wall theer's my girl, my best girl and my best pal.
Seeing movies line my back?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
How long have you been showing movies on your back?
You're taking this much too serious, Please, miss Brooks.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
I'll handle this in my own way. Stretch, You've made
a fool out of me?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Oh could I Walder?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Good question, there's only one to settle this thing.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Meet me behind the handball court after school.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
But Walter, you can't mean you want to fight.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I must.
Speaker 6 (11:07):
I must get satisfaction.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Satisfaction you'll get fractured.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
Let me discuss this.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Thing comes nothing more to discuss.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I'll see you after school.
Speaker 6 (11:16):
You you false friends.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
All the wait I'm going with you don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Go ahead, Harriet tell him.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
That we just good bye, Harry.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
This is awful. What will I do, Miss Brooks? I
just bumped into Harriet accidentally, and she insisted that we
sit together. I can't fight Walter. I'm almost a foot
taller than him. Besides, I ain't mad.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Well, that's relaxed, stretch. I think there's a way out
of this impending duel. You see, inas much as he
challenges you. You've got the choice of weapons.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Hell take me, and I think I know.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
A way you two can battle without anyone getting hurried
a bit, cause that Miss Brooks, you'll fight a battle
of wits.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Cying you Varden.
Speaker 8 (12:05):
Will continue in just a moment.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
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wonderful wonderful news. Now there's something thrillingly new in Palmali
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Speaker 7 (12:22):
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Speaker 1 (12:36):
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Molly Soap the way doctors advised. For a lovelier complexion,
just stop improper cleansing and instead wash your face with
Palmlly soap three times a day, massaging Pamlly's wonderful beauty
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(12:58):
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Thrilled again by the fresher, brighter complexion doctors prove may
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Speaker 7 (13:16):
New lovness all over you big bath size palm Molly
in table shower.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Well. By lunchtime, the news of the impending grudge match
between Walter and Stretch had spread throughout the school, interest
with its fever pitch. In fact, you'd think that Joe
Lewis had just announced that he was going to fight
again again. Jill decermine that stopped if one sided brawl
between six foot five Stretch and five foot six Walter.
(13:48):
I went right to the source of the trouble and
had a heart to heart with Harriet Conference. It's up
to you to prevent this fight. Harriet, You've got to
tell Walter that your meeting the Stretch was accidental.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
But it isn't just last night, Miss Brooke. Walter knows it.
For weeks now, Fretch hasn't been able to keep his
eyes off me.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
How does Walterer know that I reminded him.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Besides, they won't really hurt each other, Miss Brooks, and
it'll do Water a lot of good to fight, win
or lose. It'll make a bigger man out of him.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I agree, Harriet, but only until the swelling goes down.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So Miss Brooks, think of the romance of it. Two
knights of old jouting for their lady's fair. I'll bet
you'd like it if mister Boynton was fighting for your.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Favor, mister Boynton.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Can't you just picture mister Boyton in a suit of armor.
Can't you just see him riding force to do battles?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yes, I can, Harriet, mounted on a big fiery frog. God,
I don't think mister Boynton would or would he.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
But don't you see, miss Brooks, I've got to make
myself more desirable to Walter because of Daddy's feelings toward him.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
What are Daddy's feelings toward him?
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Loathing?
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Mostly?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You should have heard how Daddy described Aller the other
day when he drove me home from school, Right to
his face. He called him a teenage waste of time
on field.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Now, I didn't know your father had it in him.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
But I've got to stop.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
This fight, whether you like it or not, Harriet, And
you're mentioning, mister Boynton has given me a good idea.
In fact, it's given me a couple of good ideas,
but that one will have to wait.
Speaker 8 (15:27):
Come in, miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Hello, mister Barton, I missed you in the cafeteria today.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Well, I didn't go to the cafeteria today, Miss Brooks. H.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I guess that's why I missed you in the cafeteria.
Speaker 8 (15:39):
I've brought some sandwiches with me from home so I
can have lunch with McDougall here. You remember Mac, my
pet frog.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Of course, Hi Max. He sounds like he enjoyed his sandwich.
Mister Bryton. The reason I came into the laboratory was
to say, what's that sent in here?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (16:01):
That's a new deorder in Miss Brooks. It's called sweet air.
Pretty fancy, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Yes, indeed makes the white mice smell like mink. What
have I started to say? Mister Boyd? And I stopped
in here to ask you to.
Speaker 8 (16:12):
Do something for me, anything, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Well I did you say anything?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I did, then, mister Boyd.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
Now cut it out, Connie.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
One thing at the time, mister Gordon, I came here
to ask you to stop a fight.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
A fight Oh you mean between stretched not grass and water. Denton.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
You know about it.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
The whole school knows about it. I'm afraid it's too
late to stop it, Miss Brooks. In fact, I've arranged
to get the boxing gloves and have a temporary ring
built in the gym during the next period a range.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Why then, you are actually promoting this ridiculous Not.
Speaker 8 (16:44):
Take it easy, miss Brooks. It's better than having them
fight in the street for their fists. This way they'll
get it all out of their systems and be better
friends afterwards.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But they're the best of friends now after this morning, anyway,
Why Stretch worships Walter Denton.
Speaker 8 (16:56):
Well, a few rounds of boxing won't change that. In
fact that the fight, Stretch will be closer to water
than ever before.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Only if he acts as a pall bearer. The Stretch
is almost a foot taller than Walter.
Speaker 8 (17:07):
Mister Boyton, Oh, that's nothing. It just means that Walter
will have to get in close under his opponent's guard.
But I remember when I was in grade school, a
great big fellow picked a fight with me. Must have
been eight inches taller than I was, But I remembered
what I'd learned in Jim about the smaller fellow getting
in close. A fight didn't take very long. One punch
and it was all over.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Really, mister Barton.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
Yes, I didn't get in close enough, but I had
lots of fights after that.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
You did tell me, mister Borton, in these boyhood fights
of yours, were there any girls involved?
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Gosh normous books, I wouldn't hit a girl.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Well, bravo for you. Well, what I mean is, take now,
for instance, if you walked into a movie some night
and saw me with another man, what would you say
to him?
Speaker 8 (17:53):
Do I know the man?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Why not?
Speaker 8 (17:56):
Well, I wouldn't say anything to him. I don't believe
in talking to strangers. Of course, if you introduced me
to him.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
It just happens that this man picked me up in
front of the movie.
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Well, that isn't very nice. At least he could have
done's pick you up at home.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Let me paint another picture for you, sir Galahad. You
and I have a dinner date. As we're going through
the door of the restaurant, a tall dark man with
a big black mustache purposely jockled me. What do you do,
mister barnhom.
Speaker 8 (18:25):
Are we going into the restaurant or coming out on
the restaurant.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I've got one more picture to paint and then I'm
gonna throw away my easel. You and I are seated
in the parked car on Lake view drive. All of
a sudden, a man's face appears on your side of
the car.
Speaker 8 (18:42):
I know he's a cop. He's holding a flashlight on us,
and he says, what are you two doing in there?
And then I say nothing officer, and he says, then
you get out and hold a flashlight.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Well, now that you've defended me with your last drop
of blood, Ronald, let's please this tropical paradise and return
to Liverpool. I'm sure Papa will give you your old
job back. My old job, yes, measuring orange rind and
his marmalade factory. There's a hot one you can kick
(19:27):
around for a while. Now I'm going down to mister
Conklin's office. He'll put a stop for this fighting, non
Spitlis Brooks. Good buy, mister Boytan. Then you get out
and hold the flash light.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh fine, he just got it, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
How do you feel about pride fighting?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Well, I'm a little out of condition, but oh, oh,
you mean in general?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I mean here it's Madison. I think you should know
that there's a so called grudge match going to be
fought this afternoon between two of our students.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
A grudge match where.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
In the gym. They even they're even building a temporary
ring for it.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I forbid it. Personal combat is no longer the civilized
way to settle personal differences.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Oh good for you, mister Conklin, And I was hoping
you'd react that way, especially since the fight is over
your own.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Daughter, Harriet, Harriet, what has she got to do with this?
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Well, you see, Harriet was at a movie last night
with Stretched Snodgrass.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Stretched Snodgrass, medicine star athlete. Is he sweet on her?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Only from a distance, mister Conklin, But she's been going
around with Walter Denon steadily and when he found.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Out Walter Denson, he's nothing but.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
A teenage waste of time on wheels.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Brilliantly put Miss Brooke, although a little reminiscent.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
But about this fight, Stretch is so much taller than Walter.
He has every advantage.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yes he has. What time is this fight going to
be held, Miss Brooke?
Speaker 4 (20:56):
But mister Conklin, aren't you going to stop it?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Robin, I'm going to career acquire me a miss Brooks,
if you'll just ring the bell von Yes, mister yeah.
As you all know, this is a grudge fight between
(21:20):
two members of our undergraduate bud. On my left, wearing
purple trunks and weighing one twenty eight, I give you medicines,
outstanding athletes, a poor let, a man of whom any
schools should justly be plowed right, not grass, And on
my right wearing black trunks and a catcher's masks.
Speaker 8 (21:39):
I get.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Take that mask off, Denton, I give you Walter. Then
I will referee about while counting for the knockdowns. We
will have our Miss Brooks now in as much as
many of you could get close enough to this temporary
ring to see the contest. Ms Brooks will also officiate
at the PA system to bring you a blow by
(22:06):
blow account of the proceeding. Are you already, Miss Brooks
want me?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
We'll full of testing will.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And if you boys will join me in the center
of the ring, I'll give you your final instruction.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
As the fighters go to the center of the ring.
Just a word of reminder, boys, if, like Walter Denton,
you're about to get your head knocked off, why not
putting Adam's pat on it first? And now let's listen
to the referee instructions.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Very rude, I am here for one reason, and one
reason only to see that fair play is strictly observed.
You will at all times be honestly and impartially judged.
Now then stretch, Yes, mister Conkon, I want you to
be sure and go to a neutral corner every time
Denton is on the floor.
Speaker 6 (22:50):
D yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Where do you want your body? Oh?
Speaker 8 (22:54):
Well I have.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Now, then you too. I want a good, clean fighter.
May the better man win, and win quickly? Straight go
to your corners, come out fighting.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
There goes the bell. Call. Oh, Walter's down, fell over
his shoelace. Now it's tied, and the two men meet
in the center of the ring. They're cautious at first.
Walter is dancing lightly around, left arm extended, stretches, dancing around.
Now they're dancing around together.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Hit the comp and breaks them and once more.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
They circle around carefully. Now here it is the first exchange.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Well, come on, stretch, Why don't you show a punch.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I don't want to hit you first. Water, you hit
me first? No, you hit me first, No, you hit
me first.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
They're going at it, hammer and tongue, mostly tongue.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Fight murdered to water, Come on, then mix it up,
makes it up. This crowd came here to see a fife.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
It looks like you're really going to start hitting each other.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Our line at the bell and there's the end of
the round one. Walter ded is in the corner right
above us. How do you feel, Walter? No, let's see
how Stretch is doing over in his corner. His seconds
are just giving him a good gargle. He can use it.
He was pretty eloquent in that last round. Now he's
(24:20):
on his feet in Mister Conklin is motioning for the
second round to begin. There they go again, both men steel,
pretty fresh and ready for each other's best dialogue.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Listen you too, You've got to do some fighting this round.
Let's come on, Walter, take a poke at me.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
No, Stretch, you take a poke at me, can't well,
I'm looking at you. Well we'll just close our eyes
and swing. Then the crowd'll think are really fighting?
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Come on? How cool?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Goshness, Books, I didn't mean to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
He'll be all right in a minute, Walter, and you
mustn't feel badly about it. This is the way the
crowd wanted it to end. You heard them cheering, didn't you.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
I don't care about the crowd, Miss Brooks, I just
care about my pal.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Stretch.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
He's perfectly all right.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Stretch, Come on, Stretch, Tell Walter you're all right.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, Sure, I'm okay. Water, let's shake hands.
Speaker 6 (25:15):
You be pal.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
And now that you and the students have had complete satisfaction,
there's one thing I'd like you to do for me. Sure,
Miss Brooks, what is it? Well, while he's still out,
you two had better carry mister Conklin down to his office.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
All Miss Brooks returns in just a moment. But first,
dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster cream girl, tonight show
him how much lovelier your hair can look after a
luster cream shampoo. Only. Luster cream brings your Kdooma's magic
formula blend of secret ingredients plus gentle laneln giveliness, lather
(26:01):
even in hardest water, glamorizes your hair as you wash it.
Luster Cream not a soap, not a liquid, but a
dainty cream shampoo leave's hair fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff,
glistening with sheen, soft, manageable, gives new beauty to all
hairdoos or permanence four ounce jar, one dollar smaller sizes
(26:24):
either tubes or jars. Tonight try luster cream shampoo and
be a dream girl, dream girl, beautiful luster cream girl.
You your curly gloried too a loster cream shampoo. And
(26:46):
now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Well, we took mister Conklin back to his office, and
it didn't take long for him to come too.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Uh where what happened?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
What an accident?
Speaker 8 (26:56):
Mister Conklin, dend you you struck me, But he didn't
mean it.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Mister Conklin didn't mean it.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I saw him winding up, But it was an accident.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Mister Conklin.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
All Walder did was close his eyes like this, then
pull his arm.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Back like this, and then swing like this. Well, Madison
is the only high school you boys can attend.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Next week.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Put him into another hour, Miss Bookshel brought you by
palmatic chaal your beauty Halt and Ruster the cream canto
her soft glamorous aresfable hair ar Miss Brooks starring e Bardon,
is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis,
with music by Wilbra hatch Man. Here is actual factual
(27:53):
proof of more comfortable, actually smoother shaves by using palmative
lather shaving cream twelve fifty one men tried the Pamalave
latherway to shave described on the tube, and no matter
how they had shaved before, three out of four got
more comfortable, actually smoother shaves. Try Pamala flather shaving cream.
(28:13):
See if you don't get more comfortable, actually smoother shaves.
The Pamala rather shaving cream way. More mystery, liberally sprinkled
with laughs. Listen to Mister and Missus North, the exciting
fun fact adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife.
Tune and Tuesday evenings over most of these same stations,
and be with us again next week at the same
time for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks Bob
(28:36):
Lamann speaking. Stay tuned now for Life with Luigi, which
follows over most of these stations.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
This is CDs for Columbia Broadcasting
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