August 26, 2025 • 29 mins
A sitcom following the life of a witty high school English teacher and her students, balancing educational chaos with clever humor. It’s beloved for its sharp writing and charm.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Goldgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Bluster Cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you Our Miss
Brooks starring Eve Arden. It's time once again for another
comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
The football season is just about.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Reaching its peak in most of the nation's high schools,
but somehow the fever seems to have bypassed our Miss Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High School.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yes, I'm afraid I've always been one of football's more
passive fanatics. But as faculty advisor to the cheerleading squad
and honor foisted upon me some months ago, I was
invited to a special meeting held in our principals office
during lunch period last Thursday. In addition to mister Conklin,
those present included his daughter Harriet, mister Philip Boynton, our
(01:00):
bashful biology teacher, Walter Denton, the manager of the team,
and Stretched Snodgrass, star quarterback and captain. Stretch has always
been something of a paradox to me. I've never been
able to understand how a brain which can retain so
many clever football plays can have such difficulty in spelling
a word like cat. Be that as it may. Mister
(01:25):
Conklin wasted no time in telling us why we had
been summoned.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
As you all know, tomorrow is the day we played
clay City High. You also know that I consider Jason
Brill the principle of.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
That institution my art rival. What you do not know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is that Brill has obtained a small bear cub in
honor of the Clay City Cubs, which he intends to
trot out between halves. We too, must be prepared to
entertain the spectators with our mascot.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
It's as simple as that.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Not quite, mister Conklin. Our football team has always been
known as the Madison Comets. It might be rather difficult
to lead a comet out, but we have. That's a
hot one.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Let's try.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Let's try to be constructive, shall we.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I intend to change the name of the football team
to fit the mascot we select.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I'm open to your suggestions.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Before we make any suggestions. Daddy, where did mister Brill
get the bear cub you mentioned.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
From the circus?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Harriet?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
You know the one in Law's Meadow? Which bogged down
on its way.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
To winter quarters.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Then maybe we could get something from them, maybe even
a tiger boy the Madison Tigers.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I can just picture it.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
At halftime, we leave this ferocious tiger to the clay
City bench for mister Brill is sitting. Can't you just
see the expression on mister Brill's face.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I'm not gonna look down at Tiger's throat just for that,
I'm afraid of Tiger isn't quite original enough, Dentvion. See
how about the Madison Monsters. Yes, we ought to be
able to pick up a cheap monster somewhere.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
With you as the team's manager, Denton.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
That name is almost ideal that you've given me an idea.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
It should be an illiterative name. And how about you
it's not guys, any ideas on the subject? Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
What does alit? What does alt? What does a literative mean?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Don't you know either?
Speaker 6 (03:32):
All literative means when words start with the same initial,
like the clay City Comes or the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
How about the Madison Mustangs, mister Conklin, We ought to
be able to rent one of those for the game,
and maybe mister Boynton could ride him around the stadium
at halftime.
Speaker 7 (03:47):
Me, I know if you wanted to borrow my pet
frog mcdogals mascot I've got.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
A bad idea. Of course, we did have to get
a rather tiny saddle.
Speaker 7 (03:58):
Don't wait a minute, stretch your fire that runs a
pet shop, doesn't he?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yes, he does, mister Boyton.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
We ain't got no animals over there that would be
good for what we.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Want him for right now.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
I don't think.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Where in the world did you.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Acquire that manner of speech, Noodgrass.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I mean miss Brooks's English class.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Stop boasting, Stretch, or we may both be back in
grammar school soon. What sort of animals do you have
in the shop at the present time?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Mostly puppies and birds?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Say, I got an idea.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
My dad got four brand new blue jays this morning.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Please stretch. Mister Conklin isn't interested in what your father
puts on his corns.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I don't mean blue jay cornplasters, Miss Brooks, I mean
real ones. They're awful pretty and they could no if
they ever flew away.
Speaker 8 (04:51):
My dad had lamb based a living, he'd be peeved.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I know, maybe I could bring over my turtleism.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Mascot us and mud turtles.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
And that's sort of alliterative for having a turtle.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
If you at got stretch, he's exactly three inches square.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Now there's a brilliant suggestion.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How could the crowd in the football stadium possibly see
a three inch turtle?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I know we could paint Madison and huge red letters
on his back.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
This meeting is getting absolutely nowhere.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
As usual, the important decisions have to stem from my
own creative brain. I will come to a decision by
the time school ends and delegate one of you to
pick up the animal of my choice.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
You may all go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Now this hi, I sir, where are you going to
have lunch?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Todames Brooks Marty's watcher, No, mister Barton, I'm going to
live dangerously and go to the school cafeteria. It should
be much more inspirational inspiration. Yes, I had some stew
there the other day, which I'm sure would have made
a wonderful mascot. Well, school's over, Daddy, did you think of.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Anything yet, Yes, Harriet, I have taking into consideration the
fact that the Board of Education makes no financial provision
for teen mascots, I've decided we must get something which
won't cost too much money to feed.
Speaker 9 (06:20):
What did you hit on?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
A gopher?
Speaker 9 (06:23):
A gopher?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
But if it's good enough for Minnesota, it's good enough
for us. We'll just capture one this evening in our backyard.
Excuse me, Harriet, Principal's office, osgod conkline on this end?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Hell though, osgood?
Speaker 9 (06:41):
This is Martha, dear, your wife.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I know your title. I conferred it on you.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Now what is it, my dear?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
Well, I'm afraid I have some rather distressing views.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Your brother is staying over another day.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
No, dear, I broke one of your favorite book ends.
I was cleaning it and it just slipped out of
my hands. I don't know how.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
There have been greater disasters known to man.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Martha. We'll simply replace the book end.
Speaker 9 (07:11):
But it was a gift, dear. I don't know where
they were purchased.
Speaker 10 (07:14):
And wait a minute, Miss Brooks was admiring them just
the other.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Day at tea.
Speaker 10 (07:18):
She said she saw an identical pair in a curio
shop right near her house.
Speaker 9 (07:23):
Do you think it would be asking too much to
have her pick one up for us?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
It would be a labor of love for the woman.
My teachers adore me, you know, yes, dear.
Speaker 9 (07:34):
I I know.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Which book end was it, Martha?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
What design it was?
Speaker 9 (07:38):
The one with the elephant on at osk goood? She'll
remember it all right.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Then the matter is closed. Think no more of it,
my dear. I'll see you in just a little while. Oh,
by the way, Martha, I'm rather tired, so when I
do come home, i'll take a little nap in the
living room.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Please see that the squealing urchins.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
With which our neighborhood bounds are shoed as.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Far away from our porch as possible.
Speaker 10 (07:57):
I'll try ask good goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Now, then, Harriet, fetch Miss Brooks at once, if you please.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I can't, Daddy, she's gone home.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
The speed with which they deplot is always a revelation
to me. I'll take this note child attention, Miss Brooks.
I want you to purchase at once an elephant book
end of the type you admired so much at our
house recently.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Now'll take that right.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Over the My gosh, Daddy, if you're gonna send me
on any errands, I just can't go.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I've got volleyball practice with the team this minute.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
But I promise your mother I've gotten let.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Me look out in the hall. Maybe somebody's still around. Stretch, Oh, Stretch,
Why Harriett?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
What can I do for you? You can deliver a note?
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Boy?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Do you know where miss Brooks lives?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
Yes, sir, with missus Davis right now?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Take this note right over to her.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Will you sure, mister Conklin, where does missus Davis live?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
The address is two nine to five Carol Avenue. Now
be sure she gets that message immediately.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Don't worry about me, mister Conklin when it comes to messages,
Unlike the only express, I always get my man.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
See you letter, Harriet.
Speaker 8 (09:08):
Pony boy, pony boy, won't you be my pony boy?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Stretch?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Would you come here a moment we'll hire mister Porton.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 7 (09:15):
You can let me have a piece of paper if
you will. I'd like to copy down the football schedule.
It's on the bulletin board.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Here.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
We're sure, mister Porton.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Here's a piece of this paper.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I don't need nothing wrote on it anyhow, Thanks a lot, glad.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
To be of service.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
See at the game tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (09:27):
Okay, Stretch, Ah, just that's funny. There's nothing written on
the front. But what's this on the back? It says
bookend of the type you admired so much at our
house recently. Oh well, look, can't be very important if
Stretch had it.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I don't like to bother you at home like this,
Miss Brooks. But mister Conklin said it was important that
you get this message right away.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Let's see it, Stretch.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Oh, I took the liberty of reading it on the
way over. Looks like you've been declated to get our mascot.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I've been degalated. All right, attention, miss Brooks. I want
you to purchase at once an elephant?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
What what a mascot?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Mister Conklin sure went whole hog?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
You went whole elephant. This must be some kind of joke.
I better call him up and find out what it's
all about. Are you sure you've got this note directly
from mister Conklin? Sure he handed it too me in
his offices.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Was quiet stretched, Hello, be brief please wasted words are
wasted time.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I was good conflict speaking, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
This is miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Naturally, I was trying to take a nap.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
This, I might add, is the third time in one
week you have jangled me out of my afternoon doze.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Now what is it you want?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I just got your note, mister Conklin, about this elephant.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I recall, Miss Brooks. The note was quite simply written.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I don't expect you to be the greatest English teacher
in the world, but I do expect you to be
able to read a few simple sentences in the land.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But mister Conklin, please do as I've asked and let
me get some sleep.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
But mister Conkland, what kind do you want them?
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Before?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Miss Brooks? Just get one.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Put mister Conklin the money. How will I pay?
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Gage it to me? Take bring off and don't call
me back.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
So you've got it?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yes, sir stretch. We're gonna need some transportation. Is your
jeloppy outfront?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Sure? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Where are we going?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
We're going down to the Bombay branch of gimbals and
charge and elephants.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Varden, will continue in just
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(12:05):
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Speaker 5 (12:06):
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Speaker 1 (12:07):
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(12:30):
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Speaker 5 (12:47):
Daily dental care.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So remember always use Colgate dental cream to clean your
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Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well, Thursday afternoon, stretchers Gelope wouldn't start until it was
too late to go to the circus ground, so I
made arrangements with mister Boynton to pick me up the
following morning Friday, I awoke bright and early and brushed
my teeth extra well. I wasn't gonna let any elephants
tusks outshine mine. Then I joined my landlady Missus Davis
in the diet.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
Why, Connie, it's only nine o'clock and this is Armistice Day,
there's no school. What are you doing up till early?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I'm going on an elephant hunt, Missus Davis.
Speaker 11 (13:32):
Oh that's nice, dear. Now, how do you want your
toast buttered? What did you say?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I said, I'm going on an elephant hunt in America.
Speaker 11 (13:45):
I don't want to pray into your personal life, Connie.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
But why because mister Conklin wants one?
Speaker 11 (13:51):
I see, well, if you just pink your juice now,
I'll go in. Mister Conklin wants an elephant for.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
A mask on Davis. I guess he's trying to outshine
Jason Brill's bear cub will that should do it? If
it's any kind of an elephant at all, it should
Where are you going to look for the beast?
Speaker 8 (14:10):
Connie?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Down at Moore's Meadow? That brother's circus got stuck on
their way to winter quarters. Equipment trouble or something anyway
they might be willing to rent us one of their
performing elephants for the big game.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
Sounds logical. Who's driving you down to here?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
He is?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I mean mister Boynton. I left the door unlocked for him.
Come in, mister Burton.
Speaker 11 (14:29):
I'll get some dishes and set another police.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Hi, miss Brooks, Walterer, what are you doing here?
Speaker 6 (14:34):
Stretch told me all about the mascot last night. Miss Brooks,
I think it's just about the most sensational idea ever,
even if mister Conklin did get it.
Speaker 11 (14:42):
Here we are, Oh hi, missus Davis held old mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Huh me Walder Denton?
Speaker 11 (14:50):
All of course it is. I wasn't looking. Won't you
have a snack with this deal?
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Sure I will.
Speaker 9 (14:55):
Thanks.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
What do you think of the new set up, missus Davis?
The Madison mammos, that's what the tea will be called,
of course, Mamma sure because of the elephant mascot. You
remember those prehistoric hairy old elephants, don't you, miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Not personally? Oh that must be mister Boynton. Now come in,
I'll get another.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Cup and saucer for it, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
By water my powl pull up a chair.
Speaker 9 (15:21):
He'll be hot.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
One of Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Here's old mister Boynton. One more striking. You're out, Missus Davis.
Stretch not dressed, so it is?
Speaker 9 (15:32):
What can I get to you?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Dear?
Speaker 11 (15:34):
Would you like an egg?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Missus Davis?
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Oh, I see?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
I like four eggs?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
And how do you want them?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Stretched?
Speaker 5 (15:45):
With ham?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
And with ham and bacon? And if I could have
some milk tool please?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
And bread?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
That's the scents and rending one. We're raising our own elephant.
Speaker 11 (15:56):
I'll get you boys, but you want me jitty Coffee's.
Speaker 9 (15:59):
Right on the book.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
He thanks, Missus Davis. Come in, hello boy sit down,
mister Boyton, have a cup of coffee. Will I tell
you where I want you to take me this morning?
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Thanks, miss Brooks. I was rather curious about our destination.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yes, well we're going to pick up an elephant together.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
Oh and we better not spend too much time sitting
around and say an elephant that's.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
Right, mister b isn't it terrific?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
He's gonna be our mascot.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Can we go with you when you get them?
Speaker 9 (16:28):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Absolutely not stretched. The people that run the circus won't
do any business with us at all. If they think
this is nothing but the childish scheme it is. I mean,
mister Boyton and myself are going alone.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Well just a minuamis Brooks.
Speaker 7 (16:40):
Did mister Conklin actually say he wanted an elephant to
be our mascot?
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Indubitably, irrevocably?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Wow, he beats everything. I've heard of some pretty strange
mascots in my time. In fact, when I was coaching
at State Normal, we had a guinea pig. The little
fellow group quite attached to me, so he used to
curl up in my lap all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh buddy, look real cute.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
Matter of fact, he did you know most animals will
lie down in your lap once they grow attached to you.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
That's fine, mister Barton. With a little luck, maybe our
new mascot will grow attached to mister Conklin. I think
it's your coffee. We're off to the circus grounds.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
It's nothing quite as deserted as an empty circus lot,
is there, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I've always thought any empty lot was pretty deserted. This
one is rather grim though, nothing left but a few
broken down animal cages and some rusty equipment.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
Here's the administration Commas Brooks, Beck Brothers private.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Well, that must be the office.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Well, as they used to say before television, let's go in.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Oh man, Good morning, gentlemen. My name's Boynton and this
is miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
How do you do.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Beck is the name Mike Beck, Beck is the name
Dan Beck.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
You must be the Beck Brothers.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Give that man a box of Bazooka bubblegums. We'll come
right to the point, gentlemen. You see, we're teachers at
Madison High School and our principal wants us to procure
a mascot for our football team.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Sounds like a nice idea, very nice idea. We furnished
the mascot to mister Brill of Clay City High just
the other day.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Nice little bear. It was very nice, little bear.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Thank you, little sir Echo.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
But of course, most of our animals, as well as
the performers and circus personnel, have already been trained for
winter quarters in Florida.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But you do have some animals still on the grounds,
don't you.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well, what kind did you want?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
We want an elephant, an elephant, but we just have
one elephant left. To some people. That seems like a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Would you be willing to rent it out for a while,
rent it out, well, frankly, we never thought about doing.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Anything like that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
No, we never thought of doing anything like that.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
We take very good care of the animal.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Very good care of the animal. Look, your season is
over and you don't need the elephant to perform today.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Oh, Freddie couldn't perform today anyway, Freddie.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yes, yes, that's why we kept him behind with us.
He met with a little.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Accident a few weeks ago. We might as well tell
him the truth.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Then, you see, folks, Freddie backed into the lion's cage
and well he sort of had his tail bitten off.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That's a shame.
Speaker 12 (19:47):
Yes, now we can't make a circle with the other elephants.
But he's perfectly all right and every other way.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Fine mascot for your tea, miss Brooks. And we wouldn't
charge any rental fee at all.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Well, the price is certainly right. But why are you
doing this.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
To save money on the elephant's feed bill?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
He's a good eater, Freddy is. I'll bet he eats
like a horse.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Mister Beck, How do we get Freddy into town?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
And when do you want him back?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Just walk him in behind your car.
Speaker 12 (20:26):
And we'd like him back next April.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Next April, provided, of course, that you promised to take
good care of him.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
You see, we're leaving tonight. Well, we just wanted a
mascot for the Clay City game.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Wait a minute, mister Barnton. Maybe mister Conklin would keep
him for the rest of the season. Freddie could be
mascot for other things besides.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Football, Miss Brooks, and elephants.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Could I use your phone? Please?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Certainly right here.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Thanks.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
We'll leave it up to mister Conklin. It was his
idea in the first place.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
And Miss Brooks, I presume.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
How did you know, mister Conklin, I.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Was taking my afternoon nap.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm sorry, mister Conkland, But about the elephant.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Didn't you get that elephant yet?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I'm about to get it right now, sir. But well,
you have to keep this one longer.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I promise you, Miss Brooks, my wife will be very
careful of this one. Now. I'd like to get back
to sleep, if you don't mind. The kids in this
neighborhood have kept me up half the day already.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yes, sir, Oh, mister Conklin, before you hang up, where
shall I bring it?
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Bring it? Bring it to my house of course.
Speaker 13 (21:23):
Goodbye, goodbye, mister Becky got a hunker rope.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, here's mister Conklin's house, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Good You better tie Freddy up to the front porch
and I'll go in and tell him we're here. Better
take him over the side so he doesn't tie up traffic.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
All right, miss.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
Brooks, come on ready.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
On the road to Mando Lay, where the flying fishes
play and the dawn comes up like thunder.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Let's have the rest of the concert in noise. Sorry
of course, Now then, miss Brooks, did you bring it?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Yes, sir, it's right outside outside.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Why didn't you bring it in?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Mister Conklin, I know you've been rather harassed recently, but
we've got to get a few things settled immediately. First
of all, where are you going to keep it right next.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
To those books on the piano?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (22:48):
But I'm afraid I Oh, hello, miss Brooks, Hello missus Conklin.
Speaker 14 (22:51):
I was about to tell you, dear that I had
some disappointing news. There's nothing caught in that snare you
set by the porch last night.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh, I was planning to use that gopher as our mascot.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
This afternoon.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Gopher. You want a gopher for a mascot?
Speaker 5 (23:07):
What did you think I wanted an elephant?
Speaker 14 (23:14):
That reminds me, Miss Brooks, did you pick up the
elephant bookend that we wanted replaced elephant's bookend?
Speaker 5 (23:21):
You received my note yesterday?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Didn't you some of it?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I mean, apparently there was something not quite clear.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It was perfectly clear, Miss Brooks, allow me to recall
it for you.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Of abata.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
It said, quote attention commer, Miss Brooks, dash, I want
you to purchase at once an elephant bookend of the
type you admired so much at our house recently. Period
unquote Well, oh brother, exclamation point, Oh, listen to those kids, Martha,
(23:52):
if we don't move out of this neighborhood whom my
blood pressure old.
Speaker 9 (23:55):
Please, dear, calm yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
The children are just play.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I'm going to the window and stop them.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I mean, you mustn't go to the window now, mister Conkland.
Somebody might throw something a ball or something, but not
shouting and racket. It isn't really so bad.
Speaker 10 (24:09):
You're just over law, of course, Dear, in your nervous state,
you exaggerate.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Oh here, what was that?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
What earthquaquick quick.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Let's get out of here.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
You mustn't go outside.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I'm not going to be in here like a rack.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Come on.
Speaker 12 (24:50):
T to.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What Just relax, mister Conklin. Things will be nice and quiet.
In a few minutes, Freddy is moving us to a
divin street. Varden is our mist.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
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(25:48):
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Speaker 8 (26:08):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream.
Speaker 12 (26:15):
You.
Speaker 8 (26:15):
Oh, you're crowning glory too, Oh, Lost cream shampool.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Well, mister Conklin stormed off to the football game after
warning us not to bring Freddy near the stadium. This
left just a cozy little group consisting of Freddy, myself,
and a rather haggard looking mister Boynton.
Speaker 7 (26:39):
This is terrible, Miss Brooks, with mister Conckle refusing to
accept any responsibility in this matter.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We're in something of a predicament.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
How do you mean, mister Boynton. We'll just take Freddy
back to the Beck Brothers.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
You forget Miss Brooks by now. They're on their way
to their winter quarters in Florida. Where in the world
is Freddy going to sleep tonight?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Maybe we could get him a room at the y.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Please, Miss Brooks, be serious?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
All right? How big is your place?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
This packyderm has to be fed and sheltered.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Calm down, mister Goyn, and I think I have the solution.
We'll simply return Freddy to his winter quarters.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
But Miss Brooks, who can afford a train ticket for
a creature of this size?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Train ticket? Nothing? We'll just point him south and give
him a shove. An elephant never forgets.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Next week went into another armist rusty Dog brought you
by Muster Cream, Campo for salt lamorous to russible hair
and hold Gate Kettle cream to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth and help stock tooth. The Gay
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by al Lewis, with music by Wilbra hatch.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Man.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
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Speaker 5 (27:59):
Here's the proof.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
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hotel business, now observing National Hotel Week, is the seventh
largest industry in America. Once more, they're constantly working to
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modernization of your home away from home. Remember the hotels
are America's hospitality industry. Be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of our
Miss brooks Lovelman speaking. This is CBS one Day are
(28:45):
broadcast incident
Goldgate Dental cream to clean your breath while you clean
your teeth and help stop tooth decay. And Bluster Cream
shampoo for soft, glamorous, caressible hair. Bring you Our Miss
Brooks starring Eve Arden. It's time once again for another
comedy episode of Our Miss Brooks, written by al lewis Well.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
The football season is just about.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Reaching its peak in most of the nation's high schools,
but somehow the fever seems to have bypassed our Miss Brooks,
who teaches English at Madison High School.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Yes, I'm afraid I've always been one of football's more
passive fanatics. But as faculty advisor to the cheerleading squad
and honor foisted upon me some months ago, I was
invited to a special meeting held in our principals office
during lunch period last Thursday. In addition to mister Conklin,
those present included his daughter Harriet, mister Philip Boynton, our
(01:00):
bashful biology teacher, Walter Denton, the manager of the team,
and Stretched Snodgrass, star quarterback and captain. Stretch has always
been something of a paradox to me. I've never been
able to understand how a brain which can retain so
many clever football plays can have such difficulty in spelling
a word like cat. Be that as it may. Mister
(01:25):
Conklin wasted no time in telling us why we had
been summoned.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
As you all know, tomorrow is the day we played
clay City High. You also know that I consider Jason
Brill the principle of.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
That institution my art rival. What you do not know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Is that Brill has obtained a small bear cub in
honor of the Clay City Cubs, which he intends to
trot out between halves. We too, must be prepared to
entertain the spectators with our mascot.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
It's as simple as that.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Not quite, mister Conklin. Our football team has always been
known as the Madison Comets. It might be rather difficult
to lead a comet out, but we have. That's a
hot one.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Let's try.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Let's try to be constructive, shall we.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I intend to change the name of the football team
to fit the mascot we select.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I'm open to your suggestions.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Before we make any suggestions. Daddy, where did mister Brill
get the bear cub you mentioned.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
From the circus?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Harriet?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
You know the one in Law's Meadow? Which bogged down
on its way.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
To winter quarters.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
Then maybe we could get something from them, maybe even
a tiger boy the Madison Tigers.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I can just picture it.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
At halftime, we leave this ferocious tiger to the clay
City bench for mister Brill is sitting. Can't you just
see the expression on mister Brill's face.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I'm not gonna look down at Tiger's throat just for that,
I'm afraid of Tiger isn't quite original enough, Dentvion. See
how about the Madison Monsters. Yes, we ought to be
able to pick up a cheap monster somewhere.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
With you as the team's manager, Denton.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
That name is almost ideal that you've given me an idea.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
It should be an illiterative name. And how about you
it's not guys, any ideas on the subject? Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (03:20):
What does alit? What does alt? What does a literative mean?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Don't you know either?
Speaker 6 (03:32):
All literative means when words start with the same initial,
like the clay City Comes or the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
How about the Madison Mustangs, mister Conklin, We ought to
be able to rent one of those for the game,
and maybe mister Boynton could ride him around the stadium
at halftime.
Speaker 7 (03:47):
Me, I know if you wanted to borrow my pet
frog mcdogals mascot I've got.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
A bad idea. Of course, we did have to get
a rather tiny saddle.
Speaker 7 (03:58):
Don't wait a minute, stretch your fire that runs a
pet shop, doesn't he?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yes, he does, mister Boyton.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
We ain't got no animals over there that would be
good for what we.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Want him for right now.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
I don't think.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Where in the world did you.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Acquire that manner of speech, Noodgrass.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I mean miss Brooks's English class.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Stop boasting, Stretch, or we may both be back in
grammar school soon. What sort of animals do you have
in the shop at the present time?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Mostly puppies and birds?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Say, I got an idea.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
My dad got four brand new blue jays this morning.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Please stretch. Mister Conklin isn't interested in what your father
puts on his corns.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I don't mean blue jay cornplasters, Miss Brooks, I mean
real ones. They're awful pretty and they could no if
they ever flew away.
Speaker 8 (04:51):
My dad had lamb based a living, he'd be peeved.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I know, maybe I could bring over my turtleism.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Mascot us and mud turtles.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
And that's sort of alliterative for having a turtle.
Speaker 8 (05:03):
If you at got stretch, he's exactly three inches square.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Now there's a brilliant suggestion.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
How could the crowd in the football stadium possibly see
a three inch turtle?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I know we could paint Madison and huge red letters
on his back.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
This meeting is getting absolutely nowhere.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
As usual, the important decisions have to stem from my
own creative brain. I will come to a decision by
the time school ends and delegate one of you to
pick up the animal of my choice.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
You may all go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Now this hi, I sir, where are you going to
have lunch?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Todames Brooks Marty's watcher, No, mister Barton, I'm going to
live dangerously and go to the school cafeteria. It should
be much more inspirational inspiration. Yes, I had some stew
there the other day, which I'm sure would have made
a wonderful mascot. Well, school's over, Daddy, did you think of.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Anything yet, Yes, Harriet, I have taking into consideration the
fact that the Board of Education makes no financial provision
for teen mascots, I've decided we must get something which
won't cost too much money to feed.
Speaker 9 (06:20):
What did you hit on?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
A gopher?
Speaker 9 (06:23):
A gopher?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
But if it's good enough for Minnesota, it's good enough
for us. We'll just capture one this evening in our backyard.
Excuse me, Harriet, Principal's office, osgod conkline on this end?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
Hell though, osgood?
Speaker 9 (06:41):
This is Martha, dear, your wife.
Speaker 4 (06:44):
I know your title. I conferred it on you.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Now what is it, my dear?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
Well, I'm afraid I have some rather distressing views.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Your brother is staying over another day.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
No, dear, I broke one of your favorite book ends.
I was cleaning it and it just slipped out of
my hands. I don't know how.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
There have been greater disasters known to man.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Martha. We'll simply replace the book end.
Speaker 9 (07:11):
But it was a gift, dear. I don't know where
they were purchased.
Speaker 10 (07:14):
And wait a minute, Miss Brooks was admiring them just
the other.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Day at tea.
Speaker 10 (07:18):
She said she saw an identical pair in a curio
shop right near her house.
Speaker 9 (07:23):
Do you think it would be asking too much to
have her pick one up for us?
Speaker 4 (07:25):
It would be a labor of love for the woman.
My teachers adore me, you know, yes, dear.
Speaker 9 (07:34):
I I know.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
Which book end was it, Martha?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
What design it was?
Speaker 9 (07:38):
The one with the elephant on at osk goood? She'll
remember it all right.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Then the matter is closed. Think no more of it,
my dear. I'll see you in just a little while. Oh,
by the way, Martha, I'm rather tired, so when I
do come home, i'll take a little nap in the
living room.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Please see that the squealing urchins.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
With which our neighborhood bounds are shoed as.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Far away from our porch as possible.
Speaker 10 (07:57):
I'll try ask good goodbye, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Now, then, Harriet, fetch Miss Brooks at once, if you please.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
I can't, Daddy, she's gone home.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
The speed with which they deplot is always a revelation
to me. I'll take this note child attention, Miss Brooks.
I want you to purchase at once an elephant book
end of the type you admired so much at our
house recently.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Now'll take that right.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Over the My gosh, Daddy, if you're gonna send me
on any errands, I just can't go.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I've got volleyball practice with the team this minute.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
But I promise your mother I've gotten let.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Me look out in the hall. Maybe somebody's still around. Stretch, Oh, Stretch,
Why Harriett?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
What can I do for you? You can deliver a note?
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Boy?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Do you know where miss Brooks lives?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
Yes, sir, with missus Davis right now?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Take this note right over to her.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Will you sure, mister Conklin, where does missus Davis live?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
The address is two nine to five Carol Avenue. Now
be sure she gets that message immediately.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Don't worry about me, mister Conklin when it comes to messages,
Unlike the only express, I always get my man.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
See you letter, Harriet.
Speaker 8 (09:08):
Pony boy, pony boy, won't you be my pony boy?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Stretch?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Would you come here a moment we'll hire mister Porton.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 7 (09:15):
You can let me have a piece of paper if
you will. I'd like to copy down the football schedule.
It's on the bulletin board.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Here.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
We're sure, mister Porton.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Here's a piece of this paper.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
I don't need nothing wrote on it anyhow, Thanks a lot, glad.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
To be of service.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
See at the game tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (09:27):
Okay, Stretch, Ah, just that's funny. There's nothing written on
the front. But what's this on the back? It says
bookend of the type you admired so much at our
house recently. Oh well, look, can't be very important if
Stretch had it.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I don't like to bother you at home like this,
Miss Brooks. But mister Conklin said it was important that
you get this message right away.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Let's see it, Stretch.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Oh, I took the liberty of reading it on the
way over. Looks like you've been declated to get our mascot.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I've been degalated. All right, attention, miss Brooks. I want
you to purchase at once an elephant?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
What what a mascot?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
Mister Conklin sure went whole hog?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
You went whole elephant. This must be some kind of joke.
I better call him up and find out what it's
all about. Are you sure you've got this note directly
from mister Conklin? Sure he handed it too me in
his offices.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Was quiet stretched, Hello, be brief please wasted words are
wasted time.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I was good conflict speaking, mister Conklin.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
This is miss Brooks.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Naturally, I was trying to take a nap.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
This, I might add, is the third time in one
week you have jangled me out of my afternoon doze.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Now what is it you want?
Speaker 3 (10:48):
I just got your note, mister Conklin, about this elephant.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I recall, Miss Brooks. The note was quite simply written.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I don't expect you to be the greatest English teacher
in the world, but I do expect you to be
able to read a few simple sentences in the land.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
But mister Conklin, please do as I've asked and let
me get some sleep.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
But mister Conkland, what kind do you want them?
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Before?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Miss Brooks? Just get one.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Put mister Conklin the money. How will I pay?
Speaker 4 (11:14):
Gage it to me? Take bring off and don't call
me back.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
So you've got it?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yes, sir stretch. We're gonna need some transportation. Is your
jeloppy outfront?
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Sure? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Where are we going?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
We're going down to the Bombay branch of gimbals and
charge and elephants.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Our Miss Brooks starring Eve Varden, will continue in just
a moment. But first, here is Burne Smith now proof
that brushing teeth right after eating with Colgate nttlegream helps
stop two decay before it starts. Continuous research hundreds of
case histories makes this the most conclusive proof, and all
Jatiflice research on tooth decay. Eminent dental authorities shupervised hundreds
(12:05):
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Speaker 5 (12:06):
Over two years.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
One group always brush their teeth with Colgates right after eating.
The other followed their usual dental care. The group using
Colgate dental cream is directed. Using Colgates exclusively showed a
startling reduction and average number of cavities far less tooth decay.
The other group develop new cavities at a much higher rate.
No other Datafrice offers proof of these results. Modern research
(12:30):
indicates decay is caused by mouth acids, which are at
their worst after meals or snacks. Brushing teeth with Colgates
as directed helps remove acids before they harm enamel. Yes,
Colgates contains all the necessary ingredients, including an exclusive patented
ingredient for effective.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Daily dental care.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So remember always use Colgate dental cream to clean your
breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Well, Thursday afternoon, stretchers Gelope wouldn't start until it was
too late to go to the circus ground, so I
made arrangements with mister Boynton to pick me up the
following morning Friday, I awoke bright and early and brushed
my teeth extra well. I wasn't gonna let any elephants
tusks outshine mine. Then I joined my landlady Missus Davis
in the diet.
Speaker 11 (13:23):
Why, Connie, it's only nine o'clock and this is Armistice Day,
there's no school. What are you doing up till early?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I'm going on an elephant hunt, Missus Davis.
Speaker 11 (13:32):
Oh that's nice, dear. Now, how do you want your
toast buttered? What did you say?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I said, I'm going on an elephant hunt in America.
Speaker 11 (13:45):
I don't want to pray into your personal life, Connie.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
But why because mister Conklin wants one?
Speaker 11 (13:51):
I see, well, if you just pink your juice now,
I'll go in. Mister Conklin wants an elephant for.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
A mask on Davis. I guess he's trying to outshine
Jason Brill's bear cub will that should do it? If
it's any kind of an elephant at all, it should
Where are you going to look for the beast?
Speaker 8 (14:10):
Connie?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Down at Moore's Meadow? That brother's circus got stuck on
their way to winter quarters. Equipment trouble or something anyway
they might be willing to rent us one of their
performing elephants for the big game.
Speaker 11 (14:20):
Sounds logical. Who's driving you down to here?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
He is?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I mean mister Boynton. I left the door unlocked for him.
Come in, mister Burton.
Speaker 11 (14:29):
I'll get some dishes and set another police.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Hi, miss Brooks, Walterer, what are you doing here?
Speaker 6 (14:34):
Stretch told me all about the mascot last night. Miss Brooks,
I think it's just about the most sensational idea ever,
even if mister Conklin did get it.
Speaker 11 (14:42):
Here we are, Oh hi, missus Davis held old mister Boynton.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Huh me Walder Denton?
Speaker 11 (14:50):
All of course it is. I wasn't looking. Won't you
have a snack with this deal?
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Sure I will.
Speaker 9 (14:55):
Thanks.
Speaker 6 (14:56):
What do you think of the new set up, missus Davis?
The Madison mammos, that's what the tea will be called,
of course, Mamma sure because of the elephant mascot. You
remember those prehistoric hairy old elephants, don't you, miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Not personally? Oh that must be mister Boynton. Now come in,
I'll get another.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Cup and saucer for it, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
By water my powl pull up a chair.
Speaker 9 (15:21):
He'll be hot.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
One of Missus Davis.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Here's old mister Boynton. One more striking. You're out, Missus Davis.
Stretch not dressed, so it is?
Speaker 9 (15:32):
What can I get to you?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Dear?
Speaker 11 (15:34):
Would you like an egg?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Missus Davis?
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Oh, I see?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
I like four eggs?
Speaker 3 (15:43):
And how do you want them?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Stretched?
Speaker 5 (15:45):
With ham?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
And with ham and bacon? And if I could have
some milk tool please?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
And bread?
Speaker 3 (15:51):
That's the scents and rending one. We're raising our own elephant.
Speaker 11 (15:56):
I'll get you boys, but you want me jitty Coffee's.
Speaker 9 (15:59):
Right on the book.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
He thanks, Missus Davis. Come in, hello boy sit down,
mister Boyton, have a cup of coffee. Will I tell
you where I want you to take me this morning?
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Well?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Thanks, miss Brooks. I was rather curious about our destination.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Yes, well we're going to pick up an elephant together.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
Oh and we better not spend too much time sitting
around and say an elephant that's.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
Right, mister b isn't it terrific?
Speaker 4 (16:26):
He's gonna be our mascot.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Can we go with you when you get them?
Speaker 9 (16:28):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Absolutely not stretched. The people that run the circus won't
do any business with us at all. If they think
this is nothing but the childish scheme it is. I mean,
mister Boyton and myself are going alone.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Well just a minuamis Brooks.
Speaker 7 (16:40):
Did mister Conklin actually say he wanted an elephant to
be our mascot?
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Indubitably, irrevocably?
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (16:54):
Wow, he beats everything. I've heard of some pretty strange
mascots in my time. In fact, when I was coaching
at State Normal, we had a guinea pig. The little
fellow group quite attached to me, so he used to
curl up in my lap all the time.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Oh buddy, look real cute.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
Matter of fact, he did you know most animals will
lie down in your lap once they grow attached to you.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
That's fine, mister Barton. With a little luck, maybe our
new mascot will grow attached to mister Conklin. I think
it's your coffee. We're off to the circus grounds.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
It's nothing quite as deserted as an empty circus lot,
is there, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
I've always thought any empty lot was pretty deserted. This
one is rather grim though, nothing left but a few
broken down animal cages and some rusty equipment.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
Here's the administration Commas Brooks, Beck Brothers private.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Well, that must be the office.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Well, as they used to say before television, let's go in.
Speaker 7 (17:58):
Oh man, Good morning, gentlemen. My name's Boynton and this
is miss Brooks.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
How do you do.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Beck is the name Mike Beck, Beck is the name
Dan Beck.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
You must be the Beck Brothers.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Give that man a box of Bazooka bubblegums. We'll come
right to the point, gentlemen. You see, we're teachers at
Madison High School and our principal wants us to procure
a mascot for our football team.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Sounds like a nice idea, very nice idea. We furnished
the mascot to mister Brill of Clay City High just
the other day.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Nice little bear. It was very nice, little bear.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Thank you, little sir Echo.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
But of course, most of our animals, as well as
the performers and circus personnel, have already been trained for
winter quarters in Florida.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
But you do have some animals still on the grounds,
don't you.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well, what kind did you want?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
We want an elephant, an elephant, but we just have
one elephant left. To some people. That seems like a lot.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Would you be willing to rent it out for a while,
rent it out, well, frankly, we never thought about doing.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Anything like that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
No, we never thought of doing anything like that.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
We take very good care of the animal.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Very good care of the animal. Look, your season is
over and you don't need the elephant to perform today.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Oh, Freddie couldn't perform today anyway, Freddie.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yes, yes, that's why we kept him behind with us.
He met with a little.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Accident a few weeks ago. We might as well tell
him the truth.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Then, you see, folks, Freddie backed into the lion's cage
and well he sort of had his tail bitten off.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
That's a shame.
Speaker 12 (19:47):
Yes, now we can't make a circle with the other elephants.
But he's perfectly all right and every other way.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Fine mascot for your tea, miss Brooks. And we wouldn't
charge any rental fee at all.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Well, the price is certainly right. But why are you
doing this.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
To save money on the elephant's feed bill?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
He's a good eater, Freddy is. I'll bet he eats
like a horse.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Mister Beck, How do we get Freddy into town?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
And when do you want him back?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Just walk him in behind your car.
Speaker 12 (20:26):
And we'd like him back next April.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Next April, provided, of course, that you promised to take
good care of him.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
You see, we're leaving tonight. Well, we just wanted a
mascot for the Clay City game.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Wait a minute, mister Barnton. Maybe mister Conklin would keep
him for the rest of the season. Freddie could be
mascot for other things besides.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Football, Miss Brooks, and elephants.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Could I use your phone? Please?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Certainly right here.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Thanks.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
We'll leave it up to mister Conklin. It was his
idea in the first place.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
And Miss Brooks, I presume.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
How did you know, mister Conklin, I.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Was taking my afternoon nap.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm sorry, mister Conkland, But about the elephant.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Didn't you get that elephant yet?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
I'm about to get it right now, sir. But well,
you have to keep this one longer.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I promise you, Miss Brooks, my wife will be very
careful of this one. Now. I'd like to get back
to sleep, if you don't mind. The kids in this
neighborhood have kept me up half the day already.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Yes, sir, Oh, mister Conklin, before you hang up, where
shall I bring it?
Speaker 4 (21:20):
Bring it? Bring it to my house of course.
Speaker 13 (21:23):
Goodbye, goodbye, mister Becky got a hunker rope.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, here's mister Conklin's house, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Good You better tie Freddy up to the front porch
and I'll go in and tell him we're here. Better
take him over the side so he doesn't tie up traffic.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
All right, miss.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
Brooks, come on ready.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
On the road to Mando Lay, where the flying fishes
play and the dawn comes up like thunder.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Let's have the rest of the concert in noise. Sorry
of course, Now then, miss Brooks, did you bring it?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Yes, sir, it's right outside outside.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Why didn't you bring it in?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Mister Conklin, I know you've been rather harassed recently, but
we've got to get a few things settled immediately. First
of all, where are you going to keep it right next.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
To those books on the piano?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (22:48):
But I'm afraid I Oh, hello, miss Brooks, Hello missus Conklin.
Speaker 14 (22:51):
I was about to tell you, dear that I had
some disappointing news. There's nothing caught in that snare you
set by the porch last night.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Oh, I was planning to use that gopher as our mascot.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
This afternoon.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Gopher. You want a gopher for a mascot?
Speaker 5 (23:07):
What did you think I wanted an elephant?
Speaker 14 (23:14):
That reminds me, Miss Brooks, did you pick up the
elephant bookend that we wanted replaced elephant's bookend?
Speaker 5 (23:21):
You received my note yesterday?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Didn't you some of it?
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I mean, apparently there was something not quite clear.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It was perfectly clear, Miss Brooks, allow me to recall
it for you.
Speaker 5 (23:30):
Of abata.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
It said, quote attention commer, Miss Brooks, dash, I want
you to purchase at once an elephant bookend of the
type you admired so much at our house recently. Period
unquote Well, oh brother, exclamation point, Oh, listen to those kids, Martha,
(23:52):
if we don't move out of this neighborhood whom my
blood pressure old.
Speaker 9 (23:55):
Please, dear, calm yourself.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
The children are just play.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I'm going to the window and stop them.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I mean, you mustn't go to the window now, mister Conkland.
Somebody might throw something a ball or something, but not
shouting and racket. It isn't really so bad.
Speaker 10 (24:09):
You're just over law, of course, Dear, in your nervous state,
you exaggerate.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Oh here, what was that?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
What earthquaquick quick.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Let's get out of here.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
You mustn't go outside.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I'm not going to be in here like a rack.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Come on.
Speaker 12 (24:50):
T to.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What Just relax, mister Conklin. Things will be nice and quiet.
In a few minutes, Freddy is moving us to a
divin street. Varden is our mist.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Brooks returns in just a moment.
Speaker 8 (25:17):
But first, dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream Girl.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Tonight, Yes tonight, show him how much lovelier your hair
can look after a luster cream shampoo. Luster Cream World's
finest shampoo. No other shampoo in the world gives kadom
its magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanoline, not
a soap, not a liquid. Luster cream shampoo leaves hair
three ways lovelier, fragrantly clean, free of loose dandruff, glistening
(25:48):
with sheen, soft, manageable even in hardest water. Luster cream
lathers instantly, no special rints needed after a luster cream shampoo,
so gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair. Tonight,
Yes tonight, try luster cream shampoo.
Speaker 8 (26:08):
Dream Girl, dream Girl, Beautiful luster Cream.
Speaker 12 (26:15):
You.
Speaker 8 (26:15):
Oh, you're crowning glory too, Oh, Lost cream shampool.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
And now once again here is our Miss Brooks.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Well, mister Conklin stormed off to the football game after
warning us not to bring Freddy near the stadium. This
left just a cozy little group consisting of Freddy, myself,
and a rather haggard looking mister Boynton.
Speaker 7 (26:39):
This is terrible, Miss Brooks, with mister Conckle refusing to
accept any responsibility in this matter.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
We're in something of a predicament.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
How do you mean, mister Boynton. We'll just take Freddy
back to the Beck Brothers.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
You forget Miss Brooks by now. They're on their way
to their winter quarters in Florida. Where in the world
is Freddy going to sleep tonight?
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Maybe we could get him a room at the y.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Please, Miss Brooks, be serious?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
All right? How big is your place?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
This packyderm has to be fed and sheltered.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Calm down, mister Goyn, and I think I have the solution.
We'll simply return Freddy to his winter quarters.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
But Miss Brooks, who can afford a train ticket for
a creature of this size?
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Train ticket? Nothing? We'll just point him south and give
him a shove. An elephant never forgets.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Next week went into another armist rusty Dog brought you
by Muster Cream, Campo for salt lamorous to russible hair
and hold Gate Kettle cream to clean your breath while
you clean your teeth and help stock tooth. The Gay
Our Miss Brooks, starring Eve Varden, is produced by Larry Burns,
directed by al Lewis, with music by Wilbra hatch.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Man.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Do you shave with a latther or brushless shaved cream?
Pamlive shaving cream comes both ways, and whichever way you
prefer to shave, you'll find that using either palmalive brushless
or palm olive latter shaving cream can bring you more comfortable,
actually smoother shaves.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
Here's the proof.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Twenty five hundred and forty eight men tried the new
Pawmolive waiters shave described on the tube, and no matter
how they had shaved before, three out of every four
got more comfortable, actually smoother shaves. Get palmlid brushless or
palmlid flatther shaving cream today. Did you know that the
(28:21):
hotel business, now observing National Hotel Week, is the seventh
largest industry in America. Once more, they're constantly working to
further add to your convenience and comfort in short, complete
modernization of your home away from home. Remember the hotels
are America's hospitality industry. Be with us again next week
at the same time for another comedy episode of our
Miss brooks Lovelman speaking. This is CBS one Day are
(28:45):
broadcast incident
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