September 7, 2025 • 22 mins
A sitcom following the life of a witty high school English teacher and her students, balancing educational chaos with clever humor. It’s beloved for its sharp writing and charm.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Now it's Armiss Brooks. Sorry, Eve hardens. The life of
an average school teacher attempt to run along a fairly
smooth and even path. But if that teacher's name is
(00:23):
Constance Brooks and she teaches English at Madison High School,
that path is apt to be not quite so smooth
and even.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Somehow, while most girls go through life attracting boys, I
go through a detracting accident. Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
As I was leaving Clay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
City High after a visit with a friend, I hit
the jackpot of all accidents. I was walking toward the elevator,
my mind off in space, when a few seconds later,
so was I. I had stepped into an open elevator shaft.
The next thing I knew, I was hanging by my fingertips.
Jason Brill, Clay's principal, had rushed up and told me
(01:00):
to safety. The newspaper photographers had taken our pictures, and
we were so busy I didn't have a chance to
faint until I got home. The next morning, is my
Landlady and I sat down to breakfast. I slipped the
newspaper casually under missus Davis's eyes and waited for her reaction. Finally,
it came in tones quivering with excitement.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
She said, Annie, what's a two letter word meaning sun?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
God? Davis?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Look, no, dear, look as four letters?
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Maybe I should cry it vertical.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Now let's see what's a three letter word for feeline
domestic animal? Heah, quiet, Minervan, finish your milk? A three
letter word for fee line domestic animal?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
It's no use, Minerva. If you'll forget that crossword puzzle
for a moment and look at the front page, you
might see a story about a person you know that
will interest you. Oh all right, dear, well.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Oh my my goodness.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Why Connie, this is your picture, a picture of you
and Jason Brill?
Speaker 5 (02:12):
But what are you two doing on the front page.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
If you'll read the story, you'll see what we're doing.
There a story.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Oh that's right, there is a story. Jason Brill, principle
of Plays City High School, played the hero yesterday as
he hoisted Constance Brooks, Madison High English teacher, out of
an open elevator shaft. Miss Brooks had been dangling by
her fingertips three stories up, with the elevator a floor
above her when she was finally rescued.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh, Connie, how awful.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
But dear, I don't quite understand, don't quite understand what,
missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Wouldn't it have been simpler to wait for the elevator
like everybody, not with.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
My flusterphobia, to say that the whole thing was an accident,
A horrible, nightmarish accident, of course, Dear, will you hurt?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm all right today now. Please don't worry about me,
miss Davis. I have as many lives no coaching, minerva.
Don't you want to read the rest of the story.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
I'm reading it now.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Mister Brill, who is currently one of the principals being
considered for promotion to assistant superintendent of schools, was extremely
modest about his daring rescue. When asked to comment, he said,
this is nothing that any other aggressive, vigorous, alert, level headed,
courageous man wouldn't have done. Under similar.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
His whole comment, he would have been.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Elected to Congress as it is. I doubt if he'll
make assistance superintendent, at least not while mister Conklin is
also trying.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
For the job.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Always osgood still after that position, like.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Dick Tracy is after Rughead day. Our boy unveiled his
project X in front of mister Stone.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Project X.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Goodness, it sounds important.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What is it, dear? If I know, mister Conklin, it's
probably a scientific method of making six teachers do the
work of one principle. Frankly, missus Davis, I'm dying to
find out about Project X myself. Mister Conklin's promised me
that this morning he's letting the cat out of the
Bag's back in the bag, Minerva.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
In any case, Commy, it might be a good idea
to drop in and see your principal before your first class.
He'll be so relieved to see you unscratched. He'll fuss
over you like a can't over baby.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Getting ready, they're playing our song. Well here I am,
mister Conklin, in perfect health, none the worse for wear,
(04:54):
and not a scratch on me, and ready to start
the day's work with a brave smile. So don't you
worry one bit.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Sit down, you traitor, mister Conklins.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Didn't you read the story about me in the morning.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Paper seven times? Miss Brooks, you knew I was in
a life and death struggle with Jason Brill for assistant superintendent.
You knew that making him a Hero would practically ruin
my chances for Lou these many years, you've been enjoying
all of your accidents right here at Madison, And now
(05:29):
when I need you most, Why did you have to
take your business elsewhere? This part of me, sir? And
I was so confident that when I unveiled my project
next before mister Stone three this afternoon, it would pour
off all of Brill's recent projects. But now with this.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Hero, is this your project, ex sir? This desk, microphone
and the instrument panel with push buttons.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yes, yes, it's an amplifying system. Sitting right here in
my office, I can press buttons and here what's going
on in any classroom or hallway I can check on
my teachers and students at any time. A bart of
Education was delighted when I suggested the try out the
system at Madison.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Would you show me how it works, sir?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, I had promised my daughter Harriet she would be
the first to hear it this morning, but I don't
know what's happened to her.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Oh, I'm certain she wouldn't mind if I heard it first.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
No, I suppose not, all right, I'll flick it up.
We'll warm up with room one hundred, although it may
be unoccupied at this early hour.
Speaker 6 (06:33):
Come on, Harriet, just one little kiss?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
No water today, wouldn't like it?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
Who wants to kiss?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Here?
Speaker 6 (06:48):
Harriet?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
One teeny weeny little kiss dending on her this instant?
Speaker 7 (06:55):
What Harriet, you know you're getting a sound more like
your old man every day.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Water.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Don't tell me it's my conscience talking, Denton.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
This is your principal talking.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
No conscience ever shadowed like that holy crown.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Of Miss Brooks's voice is coming out of the woodwork.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Here. Well, that's my project, ex Miss Brooks. And if
you hadn't made a hero out of Jason Brill, it
would have been enough to sway mister Stone in favor
of my promotion. I tell you, frankly, if mister Stone
selects Jason Brill for that job, I'm going to be
in a very ugly mood. Indeed, yes, I will hark
(07:42):
back constantly to the incident that caused my defeat, knowing
always that whose doorsteps lays the blade, you can imagine
what may occur.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes, sir, for the next six months, you're liable to
trample all over my welcome. Matt Well, since I had
made a hero out of our principal's arch rival, Jason Brill.
Mister Conklin felt that I had cost him his promotion
to assistant superintendent. Just before lunch, Missus Davis phoned to
find out how I was feeling, and I gave her
(08:15):
a rundown of the situation.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Connie, I'm amazed at dolls.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Goold?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Do you mean he wasn't a bit happy to see
you off and around.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
He acted more like he wished I were down than
under to see if I've cost him his promotion.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Well, he's jes upset, dear. While with a wonderful project
like that amplifying system, he should be able to walk into.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
That new job over a road of broken ear drums.
This system is driving us all crazy, Missus David.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
He listens in on us in.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The classrooms and the hallways and the recreation rooms, and
a few minutes ago I had the shock of my
life in the female faculty room.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Well, I could it just sulting, Connie. Still, it would have.
It's been better for you if he had been the hero.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, it's too late to worry about that now, since,
Missus Davis, what did you just say?
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Well, I did, oh goodness, come here. I'm afraid I
wasn't paying attention. What did I say?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:15):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
No?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
I'm certain I didn't say yes.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Davis, You're a life savor. Well goodbye. Now I've got
to meet mister Boynton in the lunch room and break
the good news to him.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Good news, what good news?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Commy that at three pm today he's going to be
rescued by mister Conslin from a terrible accident.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Oh yes, say that.
Speaker 6 (09:48):
Pie was better than come here?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yes it was.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Oh? Now you said you had a big favor to
ask me, what is it?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yes? I did want to ask a favor, mister Barrington,
but perhaps i'd better not ask it here. You know
who might be listening in on us right now? Who? Which? Who? Oh?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That who? I could whisper it to you? Though, Bring
your ear over closer now listen.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
That tickles?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
He said a chill right on my spine.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Care to do me now?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I mean, let's just talk in low town.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Miss Brooks. Believe me, you're worrying needlessly. I'm sure mister
Conklin has something better to do than listen in on
lunchroom conversations. But if you're worried. Why don't you just
write down what you have to say on a napkin.
What do you think of that idea? I think it's
the sneakiest thing I've heard today. Gosh, you were right,
(10:55):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Don't get panicky, friends, Just follow me across to the
unoccupied zone of Madison High. We'll be perfectly safe from him.
Here in the boiler room, mister Boynton, there isn't a
(11:17):
wire in the place.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
See still, he's here, Miss Brooks. I can feel it
in my bones. This this room is wired too. I
know he's here, mister Boyton.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Look, I'll prove to you once and for all that
mister Conklin has no wires down here. Here's a paper
bag on the floor.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I'll blow it up and explode it near the ceilings.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Watch.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Oh god, he is here now, please, mister Boyne, get
up off your knees.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I get here.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
What happened to my head?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Mister Conklin?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Can you hear me?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Go jump in the lake?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Fish face, Now, take a fly.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
And leap for yourself.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Meet head.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Here? What I call him?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
It's the question of your getting the middle of honor.
I'll be your witness.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Now that mister Conklin can't hear it, what was that
big favor you wanted?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Mister Stone is coming over at three this afternoon to
hear the amplifying system in action, and when he presses
the button to hear what's going on in your laboratory.
I was wondering if.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You could be in the midst of a fake.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Accident yelling for help.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I see you mean. If I have this fake accident,
mister Conklin saves me, mister Zone may pick him for
that promotion and we'll be rid of him and his
amplifying system.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You ain't just burning your buns and Biden, that's right,
I mean now, just in case mister Conklin has regained
his hearing, let's go outside and talk over the details.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
All right, Miss Brooks, follow me. This back door leads
to the athletic field, and.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Your mother will never hear us here in the boiler room. Harriet,
it's not a chance, believe me. But are you sure? Older?
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Well, just to play it absolutely safe, I'll test.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Ah.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Come on, Harriet, give me a kiss, just one little kiss.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
It's okay, Harriet.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
If he'd heard me, his bark would have exploded the
boiler room by this time.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
What do you think of my plan?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Well, making a hero of Daddy in front of mister
Stone sounds pretty fantastic to me.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
What's fantastic about it?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's simple.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
When mister Stone tries out the sound system and contacts
the boiler room. I pretend the water pipes have exploded
and I'm practically drowning, and then Daddy hears.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You hollering, Dad's down and rescues you.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
That's the idea, Now, that could be Oh curious. I've
just got a terrible thought. What if your father ever
really thought I was drowning?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
She let me.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
While making a hero old mister Cocklin in front of
mister Stone seemed like an ideal way to get him
his promotion, particularly if it occurred while he was demonstrating
his new amplifying system. However, unknown to each other, Miss
Brooks and Walter Devon happened to get the idea at
the same time, so as Miss Brooks approached her principal's
office that afternoon, she knew nothing of the mix up.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Oh, Miss Brooks, just a moment's fee.
Speaker 5 (14:41):
Oh I'm mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I was just about to stop in your office on
my way home. Can you hear all right?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Now? I can hear all right, but my head feels
like the inside of the Holland Tunnel at high noon. However,
let's forget the boiler room caper. Shall we all listen?
I have a favor to asking you, a big favor.
Mister Stone is in my office at this very moment,
and I'm about to demonstrate my amplifying system to him.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Oh, I wouldn't worry about getting that promotion anymore, sir.
Accidents have a way of happening at the strangest time,
making heroes of the strangest people. I have a feeling
one may happen very soon.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
By miss Brooks, How did you find out about the
accident I'd planned? You planned an accident and you will
play a key role in it.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What are you going to do? Push me off the roof?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
What a perfectly delightful This accident again involves an open
elevator shaft. If you look ten feet in front of you,
the shaft is open.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Oh no, sir, not again.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Don't ask me to do it again. My fingertips are
all worn out.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
We've got right quickly I've made arrangements with our whole
economics teacher, Miss Miller, to cling from that open elevator
shaft in exactly two minutes at that time, or before
you will come into my office screaming for help, and
I shall bound to the rescue.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh, before you go, sir, we better synchronize our accident.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
You see, I.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Don't worry about Miss Miller even if she does let go.
It's only a four foot drop, and I have several
mattresses underneath the break her fall.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But sir, believe me, it won't be necessary.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
Ude, my same is Brooks.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Give me a moment or two with mister Stone and
then go into your act. Ah, here you are confident. Hey,
this is quite an efficient looking acoustical setup you've got here.
Oh thank you, mister Stone. Well, it's only natural for
a principle who's only concern is his school to want
to improve its operations. And as you know, so in
(16:35):
all my years at this school, my one thought, my
one NIM has been how I can become assistant, How
I can better conditions here at Madison.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I'm well aware of that.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
OZ good, But now I'd like to hear this amplifying
system in operation.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
So miss content, come quickly. Something terrible has happened. Miss
Miller has fallen down the elevator, Chef. She's clinging to
the ledge, this very menace?
Speaker 6 (16:57):
What fallen down the elevator chef? Good heaven?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Why miss Brooks had happened to you only yesterday?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yes, sir, I must have ushered in the season.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
What are we standing around?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
For? A human life is in pedal clear? Quick decisive
action is called for. And if there's one thing about
Osgood Corkland, he's.
Speaker 6 (17:15):
Never wanted to lose his head in emergencies.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
And turn him stop filibustering and save her. Yes, yes,
this is terrible, Miss brook simply terrible. I think we'd
better contact someone to give Conklor a hand.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
But how could we contact anyone in time for him
to do any good?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Sir? I could try using the amplifying system. I withdraw
the question exactly. It's only the last of three. Some
teachers must still be in their classrooms. Mister Boynton usually
stays later work in his lab, doesn't he Maybe he
can learn a ham.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Oh no, sir, I've been trying to borrow one for years,
and now well, I'm certain he's gone homeless.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
There's no harm in trying the biology lab. I'll wear
his best button. Oh yeah, here we are.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Help help mister Carlin, save me, please save me. He's
woice and Gus Jooms are choking me.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Help me.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
If something happened to boyd him?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What's going on down there? Sounds like the deathbed scene
from Camille.
Speaker 7 (18:12):
Save me, missus Cockland.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
The test room exploded and I'm choking. Please save me,
mister Colin.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Mister Conklin's out on call, mister Boyden.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Will I do for prockection?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
The boiler room is the closest place of the biology lab.
I'll contact the school custodians. Oh yes, here's the button.
Speaker 7 (18:35):
Well shave me, mister, save me him, save me.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I greef. That sounds like Walter Denton and he's.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
Crowning and those water pipes.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Go, they really go.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Oh save me, mister Cochlan, Save me.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Just why is everyone all over the school calling for
osgood Conklin.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Maybe Philip Morris is busy, Yes, sir, I'm sure that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
What you heard I heard is plenty. It's all beginning
to add up, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well, maybe if you subtracted those last two accidents.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Well, I saved miss Miller.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
She almost pulled me down into the chat with her,
but I broke her death hold on my ankle and
pulled her up by the hair. But it was actually nothing,
nothing at all. I agree with you, hey, you feel
quite the hero, don't you, Conklin, And suppose you get
your rescue squad and save this poor soul.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Save me, mister hawklins.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Over.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Why is mister Boynton?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I rushed, old boy? We have another customer for you
in the boiler room, probably going down for the third time.
Speaker 7 (20:08):
Shave you, mister Codlin. I'm frowning.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I'm going there, okay.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So shoot me.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
What are they all doing, ms books.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Why are they all yelling for me to save them?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I don't know, sir, unless they're mistaking you for Saint Bernard.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Believe me, mister Stone, I had no hand in all this.
Speaker 6 (20:33):
I am an innocent man.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Do we have any more accidents waiting for us? Conklin?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I thought all we had on the calendar for today.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
There, Stone, Believe me, Hi, here we have a button
marked roof.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
What little game are we playing up there? Conklin?
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Nothing?
Speaker 6 (20:49):
So absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
That's for emergency air raids popping. Well, we'll try it anyway,
shall we shave me?
Speaker 5 (20:56):
I've good for commission.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Margaret Famous, but what she doing on the room? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Don't ask me, sir.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I'm still trying to figure out Walter.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Same as good. I'm stepped on the television aario, my hero.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Shave me.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I think I've heard enough.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Conklin. I don't know whether to bring charges against you
or just continue to tolerate your occasional lapses into complete idiocy.
But one thing is hurting. Neither you nor Jason Brill
will be recommended Paul.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
That promote neither one of them.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
No, miss Brooks, and don't try to tell me now
that you didn't state that peril's of Paulinac yesterday too,
mister stelln.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I had a real accident and I earned every bruise
of it, Brooks.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
At this point, I don't know whether to believe anyone
has had any real accidents or not.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
So good day to both of them.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Well, at least Brill won't get the job. What was that.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
The song, sir?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
He fell down that open elevator shed.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Now Isn't that a shame?
Speaker 5 (22:30):
Shall we?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Mister?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I knew if we kept on pitching, sir, we'd make
it sometime today.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Martin Frans ride was produced and directorate by Let German,
with the music of Blud Gluskin that the content was
played by Gaile Gordon. Othersan's A Night's cast were Jane Morgan,
Dick Crenna, Bob Rockwell, Lauria McMillan and Joseph Kerns.
Now it's Armiss Brooks. Sorry, Eve hardens. The life of
an average school teacher attempt to run along a fairly
smooth and even path. But if that teacher's name is
(00:23):
Constance Brooks and she teaches English at Madison High School,
that path is apt to be not quite so smooth
and even.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Somehow, while most girls go through life attracting boys, I
go through a detracting accident. Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
As I was leaving Clay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
City High after a visit with a friend, I hit
the jackpot of all accidents. I was walking toward the elevator,
my mind off in space, when a few seconds later,
so was I. I had stepped into an open elevator shaft.
The next thing I knew, I was hanging by my fingertips.
Jason Brill, Clay's principal, had rushed up and told me
(01:00):
to safety. The newspaper photographers had taken our pictures, and
we were so busy I didn't have a chance to
faint until I got home. The next morning, is my
Landlady and I sat down to breakfast. I slipped the
newspaper casually under missus Davis's eyes and waited for her reaction. Finally,
it came in tones quivering with excitement.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
She said, Annie, what's a two letter word meaning sun?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
God? Davis?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Look, no, dear, look as four letters?
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Maybe I should cry it vertical.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Now let's see what's a three letter word for feeline
domestic animal? Heah, quiet, Minervan, finish your milk? A three
letter word for fee line domestic animal?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
It's no use, Minerva. If you'll forget that crossword puzzle
for a moment and look at the front page, you
might see a story about a person you know that
will interest you. Oh all right, dear, well.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Oh my my goodness.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Why Connie, this is your picture, a picture of you
and Jason Brill?
Speaker 5 (02:12):
But what are you two doing on the front page.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
If you'll read the story, you'll see what we're doing.
There a story.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Oh that's right, there is a story. Jason Brill, principle
of Plays City High School, played the hero yesterday as
he hoisted Constance Brooks, Madison High English teacher, out of
an open elevator shaft. Miss Brooks had been dangling by
her fingertips three stories up, with the elevator a floor
above her when she was finally rescued.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Oh, Connie, how awful.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
But dear, I don't quite understand, don't quite understand what,
missus Davis.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Wouldn't it have been simpler to wait for the elevator
like everybody, not with.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
My flusterphobia, to say that the whole thing was an accident,
A horrible, nightmarish accident, of course, Dear, will you hurt?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
No?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm all right today now. Please don't worry about me,
miss Davis. I have as many lives no coaching, minerva.
Don't you want to read the rest of the story.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
I'm reading it now.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Mister Brill, who is currently one of the principals being
considered for promotion to assistant superintendent of schools, was extremely
modest about his daring rescue. When asked to comment, he said,
this is nothing that any other aggressive, vigorous, alert, level headed,
courageous man wouldn't have done. Under similar.
Speaker 5 (03:38):
His whole comment, he would have been.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Elected to Congress as it is. I doubt if he'll
make assistance superintendent, at least not while mister Conklin is
also trying.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
For the job.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Always osgood still after that position, like.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Dick Tracy is after Rughead day. Our boy unveiled his
project X in front of mister Stone.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Project X.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Goodness, it sounds important.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
What is it, dear? If I know, mister Conklin, it's
probably a scientific method of making six teachers do the
work of one principle. Frankly, missus Davis, I'm dying to
find out about Project X myself. Mister Conklin's promised me
that this morning he's letting the cat out of the
Bag's back in the bag, Minerva.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
In any case, Commy, it might be a good idea
to drop in and see your principal before your first class.
He'll be so relieved to see you unscratched. He'll fuss
over you like a can't over baby.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Getting ready, they're playing our song. Well here I am,
mister Conklin, in perfect health, none the worse for wear,
(04:54):
and not a scratch on me, and ready to start
the day's work with a brave smile. So don't you
worry one bit.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Sit down, you traitor, mister Conklins.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Didn't you read the story about me in the morning.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Paper seven times? Miss Brooks, you knew I was in
a life and death struggle with Jason Brill for assistant superintendent.
You knew that making him a Hero would practically ruin
my chances for Lou these many years, you've been enjoying
all of your accidents right here at Madison, And now
(05:29):
when I need you most, Why did you have to
take your business elsewhere? This part of me, sir? And
I was so confident that when I unveiled my project
next before mister Stone three this afternoon, it would pour
off all of Brill's recent projects. But now with this.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Hero, is this your project, ex sir? This desk, microphone
and the instrument panel with push buttons.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yes, yes, it's an amplifying system. Sitting right here in
my office, I can press buttons and here what's going
on in any classroom or hallway I can check on
my teachers and students at any time. A bart of
Education was delighted when I suggested the try out the
system at Madison.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Would you show me how it works, sir?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, I had promised my daughter Harriet she would be
the first to hear it this morning, but I don't
know what's happened to her.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Oh, I'm certain she wouldn't mind if I heard it first.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
No, I suppose not, all right, I'll flick it up.
We'll warm up with room one hundred, although it may
be unoccupied at this early hour.
Speaker 6 (06:33):
Come on, Harriet, just one little kiss?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
No water today, wouldn't like it?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
Who wants to kiss?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Here?
Speaker 6 (06:48):
Harriet?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
One teeny weeny little kiss dending on her this instant?
Speaker 7 (06:55):
What Harriet, you know you're getting a sound more like
your old man every day.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Water.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Don't tell me it's my conscience talking, Denton.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
This is your principal talking.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
No conscience ever shadowed like that holy crown.
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Of Miss Brooks's voice is coming out of the woodwork.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Here. Well, that's my project, ex Miss Brooks. And if
you hadn't made a hero out of Jason Brill, it
would have been enough to sway mister Stone in favor
of my promotion. I tell you, frankly, if mister Stone
selects Jason Brill for that job, I'm going to be
in a very ugly mood. Indeed, yes, I will hark
(07:42):
back constantly to the incident that caused my defeat, knowing
always that whose doorsteps lays the blade, you can imagine
what may occur.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes, sir, for the next six months, you're liable to
trample all over my welcome. Matt Well, since I had
made a hero out of our principal's arch rival, Jason Brill.
Mister Conklin felt that I had cost him his promotion
to assistant superintendent. Just before lunch, Missus Davis phoned to
find out how I was feeling, and I gave her
(08:15):
a rundown of the situation.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Connie, I'm amazed at dolls.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Goold?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Do you mean he wasn't a bit happy to see
you off and around.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
He acted more like he wished I were down than
under to see if I've cost him his promotion.
Speaker 5 (08:29):
Well, he's jes upset, dear. While with a wonderful project
like that amplifying system, he should be able to walk into.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
That new job over a road of broken ear drums.
This system is driving us all crazy, Missus David.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
He listens in on us in.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
The classrooms and the hallways and the recreation rooms, and
a few minutes ago I had the shock of my
life in the female faculty room.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Well, I could it just sulting, Connie. Still, it would have.
It's been better for you if he had been the hero.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, it's too late to worry about that now, since,
Missus Davis, what did you just say?
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Well, I did, oh goodness, come here. I'm afraid I
wasn't paying attention. What did I say?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (09:15):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
No?
Speaker 5 (09:17):
I'm certain I didn't say yes.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Davis, You're a life savor. Well goodbye. Now I've got
to meet mister Boynton in the lunch room and break
the good news to him.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
Good news, what good news?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Commy that at three pm today he's going to be
rescued by mister Conslin from a terrible accident.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Oh yes, say that.
Speaker 6 (09:48):
Pie was better than come here?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yes it was.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Oh? Now you said you had a big favor to
ask me, what is it?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yes? I did want to ask a favor, mister Barrington,
but perhaps i'd better not ask it here. You know
who might be listening in on us right now? Who? Which? Who? Oh?
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That who? I could whisper it to you? Though, Bring
your ear over closer now listen.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
That tickles?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
He said a chill right on my spine.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Care to do me now?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
I mean, let's just talk in low town.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Miss Brooks. Believe me, you're worrying needlessly. I'm sure mister
Conklin has something better to do than listen in on
lunchroom conversations. But if you're worried. Why don't you just
write down what you have to say on a napkin.
What do you think of that idea? I think it's
the sneakiest thing I've heard today. Gosh, you were right,
(10:55):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Don't get panicky, friends, Just follow me across to the
unoccupied zone of Madison High. We'll be perfectly safe from him.
Here in the boiler room, mister Boynton, there isn't a
(11:17):
wire in the place.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
See still, he's here, Miss Brooks. I can feel it
in my bones. This this room is wired too. I
know he's here, mister Boyton.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Look, I'll prove to you once and for all that
mister Conklin has no wires down here. Here's a paper
bag on the floor.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I'll blow it up and explode it near the ceilings.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Watch.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Oh god, he is here now, please, mister Boyne, get
up off your knees.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
I get here.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
What happened to my head?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Mister Conklin?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Can you hear me?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Go jump in the lake?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Fish face, Now, take a fly.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
And leap for yourself.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Meet head.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Here? What I call him?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
It's the question of your getting the middle of honor.
I'll be your witness.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Now that mister Conklin can't hear it, what was that
big favor you wanted?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Mister Stone is coming over at three this afternoon to
hear the amplifying system in action, and when he presses
the button to hear what's going on in your laboratory.
I was wondering if.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You could be in the midst of a fake.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Accident yelling for help.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I see you mean. If I have this fake accident,
mister Conklin saves me, mister Zone may pick him for
that promotion and we'll be rid of him and his
amplifying system.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You ain't just burning your buns and Biden, that's right,
I mean now, just in case mister Conklin has regained
his hearing, let's go outside and talk over the details.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
All right, Miss Brooks, follow me. This back door leads
to the athletic field, and.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Your mother will never hear us here in the boiler room. Harriet,
it's not a chance, believe me. But are you sure? Older?
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Well, just to play it absolutely safe, I'll test.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Ah.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
Come on, Harriet, give me a kiss, just one little kiss.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
It's okay, Harriet.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
If he'd heard me, his bark would have exploded the
boiler room by this time.
Speaker 5 (13:46):
What do you think of my plan?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Well, making a hero of Daddy in front of mister
Stone sounds pretty fantastic to me.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
What's fantastic about it?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's simple.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
When mister Stone tries out the sound system and contacts
the boiler room. I pretend the water pipes have exploded
and I'm practically drowning, and then Daddy hears.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You hollering, Dad's down and rescues you.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
That's the idea, Now, that could be Oh curious. I've
just got a terrible thought. What if your father ever
really thought I was drowning?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
She let me.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
While making a hero old mister Cocklin in front of
mister Stone seemed like an ideal way to get him
his promotion, particularly if it occurred while he was demonstrating
his new amplifying system. However, unknown to each other, Miss
Brooks and Walter Devon happened to get the idea at
the same time, so as Miss Brooks approached her principal's
office that afternoon, she knew nothing of the mix up.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Oh, Miss Brooks, just a moment's fee.
Speaker 5 (14:41):
Oh I'm mister Conklin.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I was just about to stop in your office on
my way home. Can you hear all right?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Now? I can hear all right, but my head feels
like the inside of the Holland Tunnel at high noon. However,
let's forget the boiler room caper. Shall we all listen?
I have a favor to asking you, a big favor.
Mister Stone is in my office at this very moment,
and I'm about to demonstrate my amplifying system to him.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Oh, I wouldn't worry about getting that promotion anymore, sir.
Accidents have a way of happening at the strangest time,
making heroes of the strangest people. I have a feeling
one may happen very soon.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
By miss Brooks, How did you find out about the
accident I'd planned? You planned an accident and you will
play a key role in it.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
What are you going to do? Push me off the roof?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
What a perfectly delightful This accident again involves an open
elevator shaft. If you look ten feet in front of you,
the shaft is open.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Oh no, sir, not again.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Don't ask me to do it again. My fingertips are
all worn out.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
We've got right quickly I've made arrangements with our whole
economics teacher, Miss Miller, to cling from that open elevator
shaft in exactly two minutes at that time, or before
you will come into my office screaming for help, and
I shall bound to the rescue.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh, before you go, sir, we better synchronize our accident.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
You see, I.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Don't worry about Miss Miller even if she does let go.
It's only a four foot drop, and I have several
mattresses underneath the break her fall.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But sir, believe me, it won't be necessary.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
Ude, my same is Brooks.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Give me a moment or two with mister Stone and
then go into your act. Ah, here you are confident. Hey,
this is quite an efficient looking acoustical setup you've got here.
Oh thank you, mister Stone. Well, it's only natural for
a principle who's only concern is his school to want
to improve its operations. And as you know, so in
(16:35):
all my years at this school, my one thought, my
one NIM has been how I can become assistant, How
I can better conditions here at Madison.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I'm well aware of that.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
OZ good, But now I'd like to hear this amplifying
system in operation.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
So miss content, come quickly. Something terrible has happened. Miss
Miller has fallen down the elevator, Chef. She's clinging to
the ledge, this very menace?
Speaker 6 (16:57):
What fallen down the elevator chef? Good heaven?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Why miss Brooks had happened to you only yesterday?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yes, sir, I must have ushered in the season.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
What are we standing around?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
For? A human life is in pedal clear? Quick decisive
action is called for. And if there's one thing about
Osgood Corkland, he's.
Speaker 6 (17:15):
Never wanted to lose his head in emergencies.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
And turn him stop filibustering and save her. Yes, yes,
this is terrible, Miss brook simply terrible. I think we'd
better contact someone to give Conklor a hand.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
But how could we contact anyone in time for him
to do any good?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Sir? I could try using the amplifying system. I withdraw
the question exactly. It's only the last of three. Some
teachers must still be in their classrooms. Mister Boynton usually
stays later work in his lab, doesn't he Maybe he
can learn a ham.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Oh no, sir, I've been trying to borrow one for years,
and now well, I'm certain he's gone homeless.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
There's no harm in trying the biology lab. I'll wear
his best button. Oh yeah, here we are.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Help help mister Carlin, save me, please save me. He's
woice and Gus Jooms are choking me.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Help me.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
If something happened to boyd him?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What's going on down there? Sounds like the deathbed scene
from Camille.
Speaker 7 (18:12):
Save me, missus Cockland.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
The test room exploded and I'm choking. Please save me,
mister Colin.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Mister Conklin's out on call, mister Boyden.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Will I do for prockection?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Miss Brooks?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
The boiler room is the closest place of the biology lab.
I'll contact the school custodians. Oh yes, here's the button.
Speaker 7 (18:35):
Well shave me, mister, save me him, save me.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
I greef. That sounds like Walter Denton and he's.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
Crowning and those water pipes.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Go, they really go.
Speaker 7 (18:57):
Oh save me, mister Cochlan, Save me.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Miss Brooks.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Just why is everyone all over the school calling for
osgood Conklin.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Maybe Philip Morris is busy, Yes, sir, I'm sure that.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
What you heard I heard is plenty. It's all beginning
to add up, Miss Brooks.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well, maybe if you subtracted those last two accidents.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Well, I saved miss Miller.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
She almost pulled me down into the chat with her,
but I broke her death hold on my ankle and
pulled her up by the hair. But it was actually nothing,
nothing at all. I agree with you, hey, you feel
quite the hero, don't you, Conklin, And suppose you get
your rescue squad and save this poor soul.
Speaker 6 (19:47):
Save me, mister hawklins.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Over.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Why is mister Boynton?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I rushed, old boy? We have another customer for you
in the boiler room, probably going down for the third time.
Speaker 7 (20:08):
Shave you, mister Codlin. I'm frowning.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I'm going there, okay.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So shoot me.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
What are they all doing, ms books.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Why are they all yelling for me to save them?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I don't know, sir, unless they're mistaking you for Saint Bernard.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Believe me, mister Stone, I had no hand in all this.
Speaker 6 (20:33):
I am an innocent man.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Do we have any more accidents waiting for us? Conklin?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
I thought all we had on the calendar for today.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
There, Stone, Believe me, Hi, here we have a button
marked roof.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
What little game are we playing up there? Conklin?
Speaker 6 (20:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Nothing?
Speaker 6 (20:49):
So absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
That's for emergency air raids popping. Well, we'll try it anyway,
shall we shave me?
Speaker 5 (20:56):
I've good for commission.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Margaret Famous, but what she doing on the room? Miss Brooks?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Don't ask me, sir.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I'm still trying to figure out Walter.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Same as good. I'm stepped on the television aario, my hero.
Speaker 6 (21:21):
Shave me.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
I think I've heard enough.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Conklin. I don't know whether to bring charges against you
or just continue to tolerate your occasional lapses into complete idiocy.
But one thing is hurting. Neither you nor Jason Brill
will be recommended Paul.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
That promote neither one of them.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
No, miss Brooks, and don't try to tell me now
that you didn't state that peril's of Paulinac yesterday too,
mister stelln.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I had a real accident and I earned every bruise
of it, Brooks.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
At this point, I don't know whether to believe anyone
has had any real accidents or not.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
So good day to both of them.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Well, at least Brill won't get the job. What was that.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
The song, sir?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
He fell down that open elevator shed.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Now Isn't that a shame?
Speaker 5 (22:30):
Shall we?
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Mister?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I knew if we kept on pitching, sir, we'd make
it sometime today.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Martin Frans ride was produced and directorate by Let German,
with the music of Blud Gluskin that the content was
played by Gaile Gordon. Othersan's A Night's cast were Jane Morgan,
Dick Crenna, Bob Rockwell, Lauria McMillan and Joseph Kerns.
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