November 11, 2024 • 23 mins
Please enjoy Advice a great episode of the legendary Ozzie and Harriet - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
This is a busy signal.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
When you call a Nelson House and you hear this,
it means one of four things. David is talking to
a girl, Ricky is talking to a girl, Ozzie's talking
to the phone company about the bill. Or Harriet has
finally gotten hold of the phone. And I guess this
is Harriet's lucky Dave.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, Clara, it's a little shop on High Street called
Normous drift Shop.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
But you ought to sell it.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
You just can't throw that beautiful golam ad dress away.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Harriet is at the dress that's the one.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Well, there's no reason to be embarrassed about it, Clara.
If you need some extra money, take my advice and
sell of the dresses you don't want, Harriet. That's what
I'd do if I were you, Harriet. Auntie agrees with me.
Don't try to Harriet, all right, Clara, Well let me
know what you guess toys by.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Harriet.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
All right, dar you can have a phone now.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I don't want the phone.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Well, I wouldn't have hung up so soon if you
had been.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Saying, Harriet, Harriet, Harriet, Harriet, we're getting nowhere, dear.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
What are you trying to tell me?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Harriet, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
What was I doing?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
We're giving Clara Randolph some advice? Well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
She needs some extra money to buy a coat, so
I suggested that she sell some of her nice dress
that she has around and doesn't wear anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But I don't think it's up to you to tell
what you should do with her wardrobe. Besides Joe Randolph
like that slinky gold lammee dress.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yes, but Clara's put on a little weight and it
doesn't fit her slinker anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Nevertheless, you shouldn't give people advice.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, it always gets you into trouble. If they follow
your advice and things turn out wrong, they always blame
it on you.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yes, but I don't get that kind of advice.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, you certainly do. I've heard you advising your friends
and all sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Well it's good advice, Harry.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
You just can't make snap judgments for people over the telephone.
Advice can only make enemies. And I wouldn't give any
that your advice. That's my Harrod. I never give advice.
I'll admit I used to, but I don't anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
We don't get upset, oh, believe me.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I know what I'm talking about. It's been my experience
that when you give somebody advice, it always turns out wrong.
Remember that time I advised her uncle of canceler's accident insurance.
When is that right before he slipped and broke his leg?
Didn't speak to me for two months?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Mom, Hi, mam? Oh hello Dave?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Hello, Daar?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That's matic? Oh nothing, you don't look very happy. I'm
just fed up with Stan Wilson. What's he done well?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Last term?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
He kept asking Betty Watson if he could take her
to the prom, and she kept turning him down. I
told him he was too anxious and he ought to
wait a while. So this termy followed my advice and
didn't ask her until last week. In the meantime, she'd
made another date. And now he blames me. See there
you are, Harriet, as a perfect example of what I've
been talking about. What you been talking about giving people advice,
(02:52):
you only lose friends. That's exactly what happened to you, David.
For no, it isn't. Stan was never my friend. There's
no chance of its ever being one. Now. Oh I
don't care if I wanted them for a friend, you'd
have been one long ago. What I'm trying to impress
on you and your mother is that you just shouldn't
give advice gratuitously.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Do you understand everything except gratuitously?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I don't know either. If Mom hadn't asked, I would have. Well,
if you want to know what it means, i'd advise
you to look it up in the dictionary.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
How can you gratuitously advise you to look up gratuitously
in the dictionary when you're against anyone giving advice gratuitously?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know, I mean not in regard to important things, money,
domestic problems. If I'm not mistaken that there's a quotation,
Uh rickie, are you in the den?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yea?
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Would you bring me a copy of Lord Chesterfield's Letters
Regular R. King's Eyes, that book with a yellow cover?
Oh yeah, I see it all right. If I remember correctly,
Lord Chesterfield made a very shrewd observation about advice in
one of his letters to his son.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Here it is pap here.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
How are you gonna find it?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I spilled some water on the page and it's wrinkled,
And here it is. Advice is seldom welcome and those
who want it the most like it the least. In
other words, people say they want advice, when you give
it to them, they're angry.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I'm convinced, your lordship.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
See what is the value of having a good knowledge
of English literature? You can always use it to prove
a point.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Oh here's another one where you're learning. Like your watch
in a private pocket, and do not pull it out.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
And strike it merely to show that you have one.
What time is it, dear? Yes, I understand the.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Whole problem, Helen, but I just can't give you any advice.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Good girl, Harriet.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
But Helen, let's put it this way. Suppose I called
you up and told you that my.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Best friend gave a luncheon and didn't invite me. Would
advise me to do Harriet? No, I wouldn't do that. No, No, yes,
that's right, that's what I do.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Well, thanks for the advice, Helen.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Bye, Harry, you cheated.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
No, I didn't. She gave me advice.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
You heard me ask her what I should do if
my best friend didn't invite me to luncheon.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, nevertheless, it Come on in Tharny, Come in Thorney, Hello, Harriet, Hi,
hello Thorney.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
How are you just the what I'm looking for. It
looks like rain and Catherine's not home. Think I ought
to take our wash in?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Oh, don't ask me. I don't lose my friends.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The matter with Harry?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh, he's probably tired. You want to take her out
to dinner.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Tonight, Thorney? When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Okay, I don't get mad. I still love you.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I'm not mad at you.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Good now, I'll help myself.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
To a cigar.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Get my hands out of there.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
It didn't last very long, didn't if I smoked my pipe?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
No, got any tobacco, Thorny? What did you come over
here for?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Looks like nothing?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
As you're a pretty good business man, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
You have to be, you're such a cheap skate.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
All right, have some tobacco?
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What is this you're smoking?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Shredded wheat?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Doronny? Fill your pipe and come to the point, not
your pouch, your pipe?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Say us? What do you think of the new cause?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, most of them are are pretty nice.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Do you ever think of trading that old clunk of
yours in and getting a new one? Yes, I've been
thinking the same thing. I can get a pretty fair
deal on the trade in or I can put about
seventy five bucks with a work into.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
The old car and drive it another year. What do
you think I ought to do?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Thorny? You asking me for advice.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I'm sorry, but I can't advise you.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Oh, come on now, as you're an expert on everything,
just ask.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Anybody, especially you.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Not that I can't advise you, but well, to quote
Lord Chesterfield, advice is seldom welcome, and those who want
it most like at least.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
In round figures?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
It means if I told you to buy the car
and you bought it and weren't happy with it, then
you'd be sore at me.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Oh, you're advising me not to buy it, that I
should keep the old car out of the year. No,
I'm not, but then I should buy it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
What I'm trying to say to you is I won't
give you any advice.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Look as I can understand you, I'm not giving cigars
or tobacco, but advice is free. I should think you'd
be throwing it around like crazy, Thorny.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I want to keep your friendship and that's why I
won't give you any advice.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
What kind of a friend are you?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Believe me, Thorny, this is the only way to preserve
our friendship.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
Well, I don't want to preserve it if I can't
even discuss my problems with you.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Then, now, Thorny, you know what's wrong with you.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
You're chicken.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You're afraid to give them a thing. Well, even if
you did.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Give me any advice, I wouldn't take it so long,
you spineless jellyfish.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oswald?
Speaker 6 (08:06):
George Nelson, right, Oh, fhi George Oswald.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
It's good to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Gee, I'm sorry just a minute now.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh don't remember me?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Huh, well I know your face. Give me a hint.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Rutgers, Oh, oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
You don't remember Cappa beta Pie, the old raawway inn
we were initiated together. Oh now I say to you
the trainers in the station, And what do you say
to me?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Oho?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
How about that good old Cappa beta Pi. Come on in, brother, Harriet, Yes,
a Cappa beta phi brother of mine. This is my wife.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
How do you do there's a pleasure? Indeed, what for.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Kennedy did you say Cappa beta phi? It's sort of
like Phi beta kappa, kind of an honorary society, you
might say, but more secret.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Great bunch of guys, they are the best.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
You never told me about it, dear, won't you commend? Mister?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yes, it was so secret. We never mentioned the other
members' names.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That was in college. You can tell her now, Ah.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
No ceremony. I swear an oath and blood. I never
break it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
All right, I'll tell her.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Well, okay, but it's on your conscience, not mine.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
My name is Henderson, Toby Henderson.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You never get me to say it in a million years.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Please we down, Thank you? Well, Oz.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
I guess you're wondering why I dropped in on you
out of a clear blue sky, And that's just what
I did. I'm just between planes.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, I must admit this is a pleasant surprise, Tubby Toby.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
I'll get right to the point. You remember in our
sophomore year, we were sitting around having a coke at
the drug store and I said to you, Oz, I
can't make up my mind what the major in Do
you think? I ought to try accounting or advertising? Then
you gave me your advice? He did, He certainly did.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Well, you know how it is just telling Harry this
morning that giving advice is a bad idea.
Speaker 6 (10:05):
Well, it's a little late for that now. I did
exactly what you told me to do, But it was.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Just one man's opinion, and you can't blame it on me.
After all, we were practically kid boy.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It was the best advice I ever had. Oh.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Well, good because of your husband, Missus Nelson, I went
into the advertising business, and fortunately I've managed to do
pretty well.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Isn't that night?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
And we've probably advertised a great many of the products
you use in your everyday life.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yes, sir, Oz, I'll never forget what you did for me.
And all these years I've wanted to repay you. Are
you still doing okay? Oh, you're darn right, thanks to
your early advice. Well, I've always felt that i'd like
to pay you back, and I think I finally figured
it out.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm going to repay you in kind. Oz.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
I'm going to give you a piece of advice. It's
just as good as the advice you gave me.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Well, that's very thoughtful. What's the advice?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Listen carefully now, Oz.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
One of our big accounts, Maxwell Chemical, has brought out
a small corporation, the Anderson Dixon Company. All the whole
thing's very hush hush, you see, and it won't be
an unspital Tuesday when the news does come out, Pat
Anderson Dixon stock is going to go up at least
eight points.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Maybe more.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
That's really something, you know, Oz, old boy, take my
advice and beg, borrow or steal every cent you can
and buy Anderson Dixon.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Uh oh, that's my cab.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
I told him to let me know when we had
to leave to get back to the airport.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Well, ge Tubby, Toby, I certainly appreciate this.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Think nothing of it, and keep it to yourself.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
And the next time I see at the Rutgers reunion,
I expect you to drive up in a.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Solid gold Cadillac.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
That's a long oz so long missus nel sair so long,
Toby Tubby.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
See, oh, that was really a nice gesture, wasn't it. Yes,
I'd forgotten him entirely, so I gathered. Isn't that funny?
I don't even remember giving him the advice, and he
says it influenced his whole life.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
It was the name of the stock, Anderson Dixon.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Do you think I want to buy some?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I took your advice too, dear, I never give advice anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
According to podular understanding, advice is an opinion recommended or
offered as worthy to be followed well. According to Ozzie Nelson,
advice is what you don't give any of to anyone
unless you want to make an enemy of who was
a friend. Of course, Ozzie never put it quite that way,
and something has just happened which made mess up his
whole theory. In college, Ozzie gave some advice to a
(12:58):
friend who took it and became successful. Now in return,
he's given Ozzy a sure a fire tip on a stock.
And since the man is a fraternity brother and a friend, Ozzy,
who's a trusting soul, is checking up on him. Hello,
is this Maxim Henderson and Rubicum? I want to talk
to mister Henderson. Oh he is out of town. Tell me.
(13:22):
Is he a tall, thin man who went to Lehigh?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
You know he's a short stout man who went to Rutgers. Oh,
he's a short stout man who went to Rutgers. Telly's
perfectly with your description of the man who is here, Harry, Oh,
thank you very much. Just tell him I called no, no, no,
you don't need my name. I know who I am.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
That'll confuse her.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, that was pretty clever.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh, I couldn't let him know I was checking up
on him.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Well is he who he said he was?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yes, and I'm surprised.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I'm surprised too, Well, why should you be?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
The man comes here, he tells me who he is,
and he's who he is?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
And why did you have to call New York to
find out?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Well, it just didn't seem possible he could take my
advice and do so.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
Well.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
You were good friends in college, weren't you.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh? Yes, yeah, I remember once he asked me about
No that was another fellow and they got divorced later.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Oh, that sounds like an interesting episode.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Tell me more, No, Noly, It was nothing. The strangest
thing though, you know, at the moment I saw this
tubby Toby guy, I knew him, but I didn't know well.
But when he put his left hand in his right
pocket said the train is in the station, and I said,
wooh wooh, I knew him.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
You'd have to.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
He's got a sensational rating and done in Bradstreet's. He's
a vice president of an advertising agency. How about that
take advertising? I said, there's a tremendous future in it.
You'll make a lot of money. I said, it's big business,
you'll clean up. I said, how can.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
You remember what you said?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You can't. Well, it's sort of coming back to me now.
You know. It's like a Hungarian dinner. It takes a while,
but it's uh.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You can think that stock market tip is any good?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Well? I looked up the stock in the paper. The
last quotation was four and an eighth not very expensive.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Harry.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Do you think we ought to.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Have dinner out and go to a movie?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
It's wonderfully No.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
No, no, no, no, no no, I'm talking about the stock.
Do you think I ought to buy some?
Speaker 4 (15:29):
I told you before? Dear, Please don't ask me for
any advice.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Why, oh, I can't sleep.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I just don't know what to do about that stock?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Harry? Do you think.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Harriot? Harriot? Are you s.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I'll go back to sleep, all right? How can you
lie there sleeping when I've got this problem?
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I wish I knew what to do.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Well, maybe if I saved the problem for you, it'll
clarify things. Now, if you decide to put some money
into that stock, you're gonna be worried that it'll go down,
aren't you?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And if you decide not to invest any money, you're
gonna be worried that the stock will go up.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Aren't you. Naturally?
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Do you really want my advice?
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Well, I told you yes.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
My advice to you is stop worrying and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well, as for goodness sake, what are you doing up
so early?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Ah, your conscience is bothering you.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Huh? And in order, yesterday I wanted to buy.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
A new car.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
I came over to see you for a little advice,
and all I got was a pipe of tobacco on
a lecture I don't know which was s Taylor.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I'm sorry, thorny, but I'm faced with a problem. Let's
put it this way.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Say this.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
A friend of mine whose name I'm not at liberty
to reveal, needs some advice. You see, an old college
friend of this friend of mine dropped in on him
yesterday and gave him a real inside tip on a
stock that's sure to go up at least eight points.
And my friend doesn't know whether he should put all
his savings in it.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
How much money have you got?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How do you know it was me.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
Well, because when you said you had a friend, it
had to be you. You're the only friend you've got.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Now, THORNI I'm serious. This is a real legitimate tip.
Now what do you think I ought to do? Well,
what's the name of the stock? I can't tell you that?
Speaker 6 (17:53):
And I can't give you any advice?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well why not?
Speaker 6 (17:55):
How can I tell you whether to buy something or not?
But I don't even know what it is?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Well, yeah, I suppose that's right. Well, of course it's right.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What's the name of the stock?
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Pow?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I don't know if I should tell you?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You want my advice, don't you?
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Well? Yes, but what as I read Fortune Magazine every
time I.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Go to the drug store.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Catherine's following is connected.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
He subscribes to the Wall Street Journal.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
And I got a cousin who erases the blackboard and
the stock broker's office. Now could you ask the better qualifications?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Much impressed? All right?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
The stock? The stock?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Why what about the advice? Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Yeah, better code?
Speaker 7 (18:37):
It's cold out there. And this syndiction company h and
it's a small company. The stock has been more or
less inactive for years.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's a broker.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
I wouldn't recommend buy it.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
But I've got a real good tip.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Told mister Nelson. I get tips every day of the.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Week, but this is really inside information.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Oh yes, of course it always is.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
And take my advice. If you want to invest in stocks,
do it on a good sound, logical basis, not on
a tip tips.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But I thought it.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
I hope you haven't told anyone else about this. Well,
even though my business is giving advice, I try to
give as little as possible. Believe me, you don't know
how easily bad advice can make an enemy.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And Lord Chesterfield says, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I know him very well.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Hello, oh hello, mister Thornberry.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Thornberry, oh Thorny.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Don't buy it, don't buy it?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I love here, Harriet. Where have you been all afternoon?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Or I had some things to do? His evening paper
all thiks?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Where's the financial page.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
In the back?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I think I went down to enormous fish shopper Claire Randall.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
She sold them fifteen dresses.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Harriet, I told you not to get involved.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
In that, and I sold my old baber coat in
some of my dresses.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Well what did oh no, what's the matter that.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Annison viction stock? I didn't buy it went up ten points.
Oh my gosh, that's thorny, I advised him. I mean,
I told, I told you you can only make an
enemy by giving advice to men. Tharney.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So there you are, Lord Chesterfield.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Now now hold of Jarney.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
I pray you are probably sitting here adding up the
money you made on that stock you talked me how
to buy.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
No, no, Thorney, I didn't buy any eat.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
I could be grabbing a new car if it wasn't
for you. I ought to sue you for what for
being so two faced? You advised me not to buy it.
But herb duncle boys, I'm and Joe Randolph was in it.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Well how did they find out? I never spoke to them?
Speaker 3 (20:48):
One hundred and sixty one? Well, dare It sounded like
a good tip to me, So I decided to invest
some of my dresses in it. Clara and I met
missus Dunkle at lunch, and and then I went to
the stockbrokers office and they followed me. The next thing
I knew their husbands were waving checks around and it
was well, it was just one of those things. One
hundred and eighty, one hundred and ninety.
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Hey, there's Catherine going into the house. She's loaded with taggages.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Oh, we met her on the way to the stockbroker's office, too, thorny,
You didn't even tell her about the stock Well.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
Naturally, she'd never let me take my money out of
our account. She's no fool.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Hey, I wonder how much she invested.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Camera one hundred and ninety five two hundred, two hundred
and ten, two hundred and ten.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Not bad for small investments. She If I'd have invested
some real money.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
You could have lost it too.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Dear.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
You see, you were right about the advice, because if.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
You had asked me for advice, I would have said
not to buy it, And right now you'd be pretty
angry with me.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, I suppose so. But if I was the kind
of a guy who gives advice, I would have advised
you to buy it.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Then we wouldn't have anything. Why not, Dear, after all
these years, you know me better that I never follow
your advice.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
This is Vern Smith saying tune in again next week
for another transcribed adventure of Ozzie and Harriet, starring Ozzie
Nelson and Harriet Hillard. This is the United States On
(22:30):
Forces Radio Service.
Speaker 7 (23:06):
Everything had
This is a busy signal.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
When you call a Nelson House and you hear this,
it means one of four things. David is talking to
a girl, Ricky is talking to a girl, Ozzie's talking
to the phone company about the bill. Or Harriet has
finally gotten hold of the phone. And I guess this
is Harriet's lucky Dave.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yes, Clara, it's a little shop on High Street called
Normous drift Shop.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
But you ought to sell it.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
You just can't throw that beautiful golam ad dress away.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Harriet is at the dress that's the one.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Well, there's no reason to be embarrassed about it, Clara.
If you need some extra money, take my advice and
sell of the dresses you don't want, Harriet. That's what
I'd do if I were you, Harriet. Auntie agrees with me.
Don't try to Harriet, all right, Clara, Well let me
know what you guess toys by.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Harriet.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
All right, dar you can have a phone now.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
I don't want the phone.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Well, I wouldn't have hung up so soon if you
had been.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Saying, Harriet, Harriet, Harriet, Harriet, we're getting nowhere, dear.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
What are you trying to tell me?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Harriet, I'm surprised at you.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
What was I doing?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
We're giving Clara Randolph some advice? Well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
She needs some extra money to buy a coat, so
I suggested that she sell some of her nice dress
that she has around and doesn't wear anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But I don't think it's up to you to tell
what you should do with her wardrobe. Besides Joe Randolph
like that slinky gold lammee dress.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yes, but Clara's put on a little weight and it
doesn't fit her slinker anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Nevertheless, you shouldn't give people advice.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, it always gets you into trouble. If they follow
your advice and things turn out wrong, they always blame
it on you.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yes, but I don't get that kind of advice.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, you certainly do. I've heard you advising your friends
and all sorts of things.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Well it's good advice, Harry.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
You just can't make snap judgments for people over the telephone.
Advice can only make enemies. And I wouldn't give any
that your advice. That's my Harrod. I never give advice.
I'll admit I used to, but I don't anymore.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
We don't get upset, oh, believe me.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I know what I'm talking about. It's been my experience
that when you give somebody advice, it always turns out wrong.
Remember that time I advised her uncle of canceler's accident insurance.
When is that right before he slipped and broke his leg?
Didn't speak to me for two months?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Mom, Hi, mam? Oh hello Dave?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Hello, Daar?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That's matic? Oh nothing, you don't look very happy. I'm
just fed up with Stan Wilson. What's he done well?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Last term?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
He kept asking Betty Watson if he could take her
to the prom, and she kept turning him down. I
told him he was too anxious and he ought to
wait a while. So this termy followed my advice and
didn't ask her until last week. In the meantime, she'd
made another date. And now he blames me. See there
you are, Harriet, as a perfect example of what I've
been talking about. What you been talking about giving people advice,
(02:52):
you only lose friends. That's exactly what happened to you, David.
For no, it isn't. Stan was never my friend. There's
no chance of its ever being one. Now. Oh I
don't care if I wanted them for a friend, you'd
have been one long ago. What I'm trying to impress
on you and your mother is that you just shouldn't
give advice gratuitously.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Do you understand everything except gratuitously?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I don't know either. If Mom hadn't asked, I would have. Well,
if you want to know what it means, i'd advise
you to look it up in the dictionary.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
How can you gratuitously advise you to look up gratuitously
in the dictionary when you're against anyone giving advice gratuitously?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
You know, I mean not in regard to important things, money,
domestic problems. If I'm not mistaken that there's a quotation,
Uh rickie, are you in the den?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yea?
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Would you bring me a copy of Lord Chesterfield's Letters
Regular R. King's Eyes, that book with a yellow cover?
Oh yeah, I see it all right. If I remember correctly,
Lord Chesterfield made a very shrewd observation about advice in
one of his letters to his son.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Here it is pap here.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
How are you gonna find it?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I spilled some water on the page and it's wrinkled,
And here it is. Advice is seldom welcome and those
who want it the most like it the least. In
other words, people say they want advice, when you give
it to them, they're angry.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
I'm convinced, your lordship.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
See what is the value of having a good knowledge
of English literature? You can always use it to prove
a point.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Oh here's another one where you're learning. Like your watch
in a private pocket, and do not pull it out.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
And strike it merely to show that you have one.
What time is it, dear? Yes, I understand the.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Whole problem, Helen, but I just can't give you any advice.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Good girl, Harriet.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
But Helen, let's put it this way. Suppose I called
you up and told you that my.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Best friend gave a luncheon and didn't invite me. Would
advise me to do Harriet? No, I wouldn't do that. No, No, yes,
that's right, that's what I do.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Well, thanks for the advice, Helen.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Bye, Harry, you cheated.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
No, I didn't. She gave me advice.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
You heard me ask her what I should do if
my best friend didn't invite me to luncheon.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, nevertheless, it Come on in Tharny, Come in Thorney, Hello, Harriet, Hi,
hello Thorney.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
How are you just the what I'm looking for. It
looks like rain and Catherine's not home. Think I ought
to take our wash in?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Oh, don't ask me. I don't lose my friends.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The matter with Harry?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh, he's probably tired. You want to take her out
to dinner.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Tonight, Thorney? When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Okay, I don't get mad. I still love you.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I'm not mad at you.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Good now, I'll help myself.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
To a cigar.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Get my hands out of there.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
It didn't last very long, didn't if I smoked my pipe?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
No, got any tobacco, Thorny? What did you come over
here for?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Looks like nothing?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
As you're a pretty good business man, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
You have to be, you're such a cheap skate.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
All right, have some tobacco?
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
What is this you're smoking?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Shredded wheat?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Doronny? Fill your pipe and come to the point, not
your pouch, your pipe?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Say us? What do you think of the new cause?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, most of them are are pretty nice.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Do you ever think of trading that old clunk of
yours in and getting a new one? Yes, I've been
thinking the same thing. I can get a pretty fair
deal on the trade in or I can put about
seventy five bucks with a work into.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
The old car and drive it another year. What do
you think I ought to do?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Thorny? You asking me for advice.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I'm sorry, but I can't advise you.
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Oh, come on now, as you're an expert on everything,
just ask.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Anybody, especially you.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Not that I can't advise you, but well, to quote
Lord Chesterfield, advice is seldom welcome, and those who want
it most like at least.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
In round figures?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
It means if I told you to buy the car
and you bought it and weren't happy with it, then
you'd be sore at me.
Speaker 6 (07:14):
Oh, you're advising me not to buy it, that I
should keep the old car out of the year. No,
I'm not, but then I should buy it.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
What I'm trying to say to you is I won't
give you any advice.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Look as I can understand you, I'm not giving cigars
or tobacco, but advice is free. I should think you'd
be throwing it around like crazy, Thorny.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I want to keep your friendship and that's why I
won't give you any advice.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
What kind of a friend are you?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Believe me, Thorny, this is the only way to preserve
our friendship.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
Well, I don't want to preserve it if I can't
even discuss my problems with you.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Then, now, Thorny, you know what's wrong with you.
Speaker 5 (07:43):
You're chicken.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
You're afraid to give them a thing. Well, even if
you did.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Give me any advice, I wouldn't take it so long,
you spineless jellyfish.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oswald?
Speaker 6 (08:06):
George Nelson, right, Oh, fhi George Oswald.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
It's good to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Gee, I'm sorry just a minute now.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh don't remember me?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Huh, well I know your face. Give me a hint.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Rutgers, Oh, oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
You don't remember Cappa beta Pie, the old raawway inn
we were initiated together. Oh now I say to you
the trainers in the station, And what do you say
to me?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Oho?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
How about that good old Cappa beta Pi. Come on in, brother, Harriet, Yes,
a Cappa beta phi brother of mine. This is my wife.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
How do you do there's a pleasure? Indeed, what for.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Kennedy did you say Cappa beta phi? It's sort of
like Phi beta kappa, kind of an honorary society, you
might say, but more secret.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Great bunch of guys, they are the best.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
You never told me about it, dear, won't you commend? Mister?
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yes, it was so secret. We never mentioned the other
members' names.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That was in college. You can tell her now, Ah.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
No ceremony. I swear an oath and blood. I never
break it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
All right, I'll tell her.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Well, okay, but it's on your conscience, not mine.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
My name is Henderson, Toby Henderson.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You never get me to say it in a million years.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Please we down, Thank you? Well, Oz.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
I guess you're wondering why I dropped in on you
out of a clear blue sky, And that's just what
I did. I'm just between planes.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, I must admit this is a pleasant surprise, Tubby Toby.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
I'll get right to the point. You remember in our
sophomore year, we were sitting around having a coke at
the drug store and I said to you, Oz, I
can't make up my mind what the major in Do
you think? I ought to try accounting or advertising? Then
you gave me your advice? He did, He certainly did.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Well, you know how it is just telling Harry this
morning that giving advice is a bad idea.
Speaker 6 (10:05):
Well, it's a little late for that now. I did
exactly what you told me to do, But it was.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Just one man's opinion, and you can't blame it on me.
After all, we were practically kid boy.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It was the best advice I ever had. Oh.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Well, good because of your husband, Missus Nelson, I went
into the advertising business, and fortunately I've managed to do
pretty well.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Isn't that night?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
And we've probably advertised a great many of the products
you use in your everyday life.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yes, sir, Oz, I'll never forget what you did for me.
And all these years I've wanted to repay you. Are
you still doing okay? Oh, you're darn right, thanks to
your early advice. Well, I've always felt that i'd like
to pay you back, and I think I finally figured
it out.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I'm going to repay you in kind. Oz.
Speaker 6 (10:48):
I'm going to give you a piece of advice. It's
just as good as the advice you gave me.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Well, that's very thoughtful. What's the advice?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Listen carefully now, Oz.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
One of our big accounts, Maxwell Chemical, has brought out
a small corporation, the Anderson Dixon Company. All the whole
thing's very hush hush, you see, and it won't be
an unspital Tuesday when the news does come out, Pat
Anderson Dixon stock is going to go up at least
eight points.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Maybe more.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
That's really something, you know, Oz, old boy, take my
advice and beg, borrow or steal every cent you can
and buy Anderson Dixon.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Uh oh, that's my cab.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
I told him to let me know when we had
to leave to get back to the airport.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Well, ge Tubby, Toby, I certainly appreciate this.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Think nothing of it, and keep it to yourself.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
And the next time I see at the Rutgers reunion,
I expect you to drive up in a.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Solid gold Cadillac.
Speaker 6 (11:36):
That's a long oz so long missus nel sair so long,
Toby Tubby.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
See, oh, that was really a nice gesture, wasn't it. Yes,
I'd forgotten him entirely, so I gathered. Isn't that funny?
I don't even remember giving him the advice, and he
says it influenced his whole life.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
It was the name of the stock, Anderson Dixon.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Do you think I want to buy some?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I took your advice too, dear, I never give advice anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
According to podular understanding, advice is an opinion recommended or
offered as worthy to be followed well. According to Ozzie Nelson,
advice is what you don't give any of to anyone
unless you want to make an enemy of who was
a friend. Of course, Ozzie never put it quite that way,
and something has just happened which made mess up his
whole theory. In college, Ozzie gave some advice to a
(12:58):
friend who took it and became successful. Now in return,
he's given Ozzy a sure a fire tip on a stock.
And since the man is a fraternity brother and a friend, Ozzy,
who's a trusting soul, is checking up on him. Hello,
is this Maxim Henderson and Rubicum? I want to talk
to mister Henderson. Oh he is out of town. Tell me.
(13:22):
Is he a tall, thin man who went to Lehigh?
Speaker 3 (13:25):
You know he's a short stout man who went to Rutgers. Oh,
he's a short stout man who went to Rutgers. Telly's
perfectly with your description of the man who is here, Harry, Oh,
thank you very much. Just tell him I called no, no, no,
you don't need my name. I know who I am.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
That'll confuse her.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, that was pretty clever.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Oh, I couldn't let him know I was checking up
on him.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Well is he who he said he was?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yes, and I'm surprised.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I'm surprised too, Well, why should you be?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
The man comes here, he tells me who he is,
and he's who he is?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
And why did you have to call New York to
find out?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Well, it just didn't seem possible he could take my
advice and do so.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
Well.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
You were good friends in college, weren't you.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh? Yes, yeah, I remember once he asked me about
No that was another fellow and they got divorced later.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Oh, that sounds like an interesting episode.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Tell me more, No, Noly, It was nothing. The strangest
thing though, you know, at the moment I saw this
tubby Toby guy, I knew him, but I didn't know well.
But when he put his left hand in his right
pocket said the train is in the station, and I said,
wooh wooh, I knew him.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
You'd have to.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
He's got a sensational rating and done in Bradstreet's. He's
a vice president of an advertising agency. How about that
take advertising? I said, there's a tremendous future in it.
You'll make a lot of money. I said, it's big business,
you'll clean up. I said, how can.
Speaker 4 (14:59):
You remember what you said?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
You can't. Well, it's sort of coming back to me now.
You know. It's like a Hungarian dinner. It takes a while,
but it's uh.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You can think that stock market tip is any good?
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Well? I looked up the stock in the paper. The
last quotation was four and an eighth not very expensive.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Harry.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Do you think we ought to.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
Have dinner out and go to a movie?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
It's wonderfully No.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
No, no, no, no, no no, I'm talking about the stock.
Do you think I ought to buy some?
Speaker 4 (15:29):
I told you before? Dear, Please don't ask me for
any advice.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Why, oh, I can't sleep.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I just don't know what to do about that stock?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Harry? Do you think.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Harriot? Harriot? Are you s.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I'll go back to sleep, all right? How can you
lie there sleeping when I've got this problem?
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I wish I knew what to do.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Well, maybe if I saved the problem for you, it'll
clarify things. Now, if you decide to put some money
into that stock, you're gonna be worried that it'll go down,
aren't you?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (16:30):
And if you decide not to invest any money, you're
gonna be worried that the stock will go up.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Aren't you. Naturally?
Speaker 4 (16:36):
Do you really want my advice?
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Well, I told you yes.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
My advice to you is stop worrying and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well, as for goodness sake, what are you doing up
so early?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Ah, your conscience is bothering you.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Huh? And in order, yesterday I wanted to buy.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
A new car.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
I came over to see you for a little advice,
and all I got was a pipe of tobacco on
a lecture I don't know which was s Taylor.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I'm sorry, thorny, but I'm faced with a problem. Let's
put it this way.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Say this.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
A friend of mine whose name I'm not at liberty
to reveal, needs some advice. You see, an old college
friend of this friend of mine dropped in on him
yesterday and gave him a real inside tip on a
stock that's sure to go up at least eight points.
And my friend doesn't know whether he should put all
his savings in it.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
How much money have you got?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How do you know it was me.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
Well, because when you said you had a friend, it
had to be you. You're the only friend you've got.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Now, THORNI I'm serious. This is a real legitimate tip.
Now what do you think I ought to do? Well,
what's the name of the stock? I can't tell you that?
Speaker 6 (17:53):
And I can't give you any advice?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well why not?
Speaker 6 (17:55):
How can I tell you whether to buy something or not?
But I don't even know what it is?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Well, yeah, I suppose that's right. Well, of course it's right.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What's the name of the stock?
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Pow?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I don't know if I should tell you?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
You want my advice, don't you?
Speaker 6 (18:08):
Well? Yes, but what as I read Fortune Magazine every
time I.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Go to the drug store.
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Catherine's following is connected.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
He subscribes to the Wall Street Journal.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
And I got a cousin who erases the blackboard and
the stock broker's office. Now could you ask the better qualifications?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Why not?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Much impressed? All right?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
The stock? The stock?
Speaker 4 (18:31):
Why what about the advice? Oh?
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Yeah, better code?
Speaker 7 (18:37):
It's cold out there. And this syndiction company h and
it's a small company. The stock has been more or
less inactive for years.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
It's a broker.
Speaker 7 (18:55):
I wouldn't recommend buy it.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
But I've got a real good tip.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Told mister Nelson. I get tips every day of the.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Week, but this is really inside information.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Oh yes, of course it always is.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
And take my advice. If you want to invest in stocks,
do it on a good sound, logical basis, not on
a tip tips.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
But I thought it.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
I hope you haven't told anyone else about this. Well,
even though my business is giving advice, I try to
give as little as possible. Believe me, you don't know
how easily bad advice can make an enemy.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And Lord Chesterfield says, yes.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I know him very well.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Hello, oh hello, mister Thornberry.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Thornberry, oh Thorny.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Don't buy it, don't buy it?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I love here, Harriet. Where have you been all afternoon?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Or I had some things to do? His evening paper
all thiks?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Where's the financial page.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
In the back?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
I think I went down to enormous fish shopper Claire Randall.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
She sold them fifteen dresses.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Harriet, I told you not to get involved.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
In that, and I sold my old baber coat in
some of my dresses.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Well what did oh no, what's the matter that.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Annison viction stock? I didn't buy it went up ten points.
Oh my gosh, that's thorny, I advised him. I mean,
I told, I told you you can only make an
enemy by giving advice to men. Tharney.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
So there you are, Lord Chesterfield.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Now now hold of Jarney.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
I pray you are probably sitting here adding up the
money you made on that stock you talked me how
to buy.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
No, no, Thorney, I didn't buy any eat.
Speaker 6 (20:37):
I could be grabbing a new car if it wasn't
for you. I ought to sue you for what for
being so two faced? You advised me not to buy it.
But herb duncle boys, I'm and Joe Randolph was in it.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Well how did they find out? I never spoke to them?
Speaker 3 (20:48):
One hundred and sixty one? Well, dare It sounded like
a good tip to me, So I decided to invest
some of my dresses in it. Clara and I met
missus Dunkle at lunch, and and then I went to
the stockbrokers office and they followed me. The next thing
I knew their husbands were waving checks around and it
was well, it was just one of those things. One
hundred and eighty, one hundred and ninety.
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Hey, there's Catherine going into the house. She's loaded with taggages.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Oh, we met her on the way to the stockbroker's office, too, thorny,
You didn't even tell her about the stock Well.
Speaker 6 (21:17):
Naturally, she'd never let me take my money out of
our account. She's no fool.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Hey, I wonder how much she invested.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Camera one hundred and ninety five two hundred, two hundred
and ten, two hundred and ten.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Not bad for small investments. She If I'd have invested
some real money.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
You could have lost it too.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Dear.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
You see, you were right about the advice, because if.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
You had asked me for advice, I would have said
not to buy it, And right now you'd be pretty
angry with me.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, I suppose so. But if I was the kind
of a guy who gives advice, I would have advised
you to buy it.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Then we wouldn't have anything. Why not, Dear, after all
these years, you know me better that I never follow
your advice.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
This is Vern Smith saying tune in again next week
for another transcribed adventure of Ozzie and Harriet, starring Ozzie
Nelson and Harriet Hillard. This is the United States On
(22:30):
Forces Radio Service.
Speaker 7 (23:06):
Everything had
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