October 27, 2024 • 29 mins
Please enjoy Income Tax a great episode of the legendary Ozzie and Harriet - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Total tax and items two of them that's had your
original forms W two mm.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Do you want to be downtown with me?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thanks, I want to finish this income.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I may be a little late, I promised Louise Adams
I'd stop buying.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
See her new silver. You're pretty proud of that, isn't she?
Why not?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
The solid silver with Beauty that Lives Forever is International Sterling.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
The solid Silver with Beauty that Lives Forever is International
Sterling from Hollywood International Silver Company, creators of International Sterling,
present the amusing transcribed Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring
America's favorite young couple. Ozzy Harriet figures in this great
(01:21):
land of America from the rock bound coast of Maine
to the snowbound coast of California, from the borders of
Canada famous for Canadians, to the borders of Mexico, famous
from Mexicans. From town to city, from mountain to valley,
from north to south, from east to west, America is
a land of tradition. Tradition is the seventh inning stretch
(01:45):
at the ballgame Firecrackers on the fourth of July, Turkey,
on Thanksgiving and at eighteen forty seven Riders Road. Ozzie
Nelson America is completely imaxed in what is rapidly becoming
one of America's most exasperating traditions. It calls for a
(02:07):
complete mastery of arithmetic, trigonometry, surveying semantics, foreign languages.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Including double talk and jabberwockie, not to mention mind reading,
and above all, the control of temper.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Total taxing item too above attach original forms W two
tanks tanks. Oh, and to your tax from table on
page four for from line eighteen on page three, I
(02:42):
mean nothing complicated about simes. And to your tax from
table on page four or from mine eighteen on page three, Well,
that's clear enough. And to your tax from table on
page four were or from line eighteen on page three.
(03:05):
Let's read that again.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
You don't know how to work it, That's all I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Saw it gone?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Boys, please, I'm busy now. Evidently what they're trying to
say is enter your tax from table on page four
or from line eighteen on page three. Enter your tax
on the table. I could push the whole works off
(03:34):
the table into the wastebasket.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Get attack, David.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
It's good in the saxe spells how's the government going
to know where they stand financially? If I don't get
my income tax?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Can you pach my squirre flower for me?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Pop?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
You're what my squirt flower? It doesn't work. You squeeze
that rubber ball and the water is supposed to squirt off.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
No, let me see it. There's probably something stopping up
the hose.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
I squeeze it. Nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
See work that time. Let me your handkerchief, David.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Gee, I didn't even name it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
No, that isn't necessary when somebody's looking right into it.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You aren't mad at me, are you?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Pop?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
No? But I will be if you guys don't run along.
Let me finish this income text.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Okay, Pop, you stay there, Dopey.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Well, David, that's not nice calling your little brother dopey.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You know what he did. He spent his lawless on
that squirt floor.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
No, he can't go to the movies. I don't want
to go anywhere.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Well, will you guys please finish this outside? Nothing to
argue about in the first place. Ricky wanted a squirt gun,
so he bought it. You want to go to the show,
so go ahead, David. Evidently Ricky doesn't care about it.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's just saying that I am not why God, Okay,
let's drop.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
It, hanh. Ricky doesn't want to go to the show,
so let's forget it. Let's see where I am here. Huh,
what is it, Ricky?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
There's money so I can go to the show.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Ricky, why did you buy the squirt flower?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Will thorns on it in the church store window?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
What's will Thornberry got to do with you?
Speaker 4 (05:11):
He liked it so much he thought I had.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
To buy it. Did he buy one too?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
No, he's going to the show with David.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Ricky. What happened to you is a rather common thing.
You see, you were talking to something you didn't want
to buy. Happens every day. Fella starts out to buy
a car. Before he gets to the car a lot,
he meets somebody tells him about a television set, or
he can buy the television set. He meets somebody tells
him about a wonderful movie camera, or he can buy
the movie camera. He meets somebody who tells him about
(05:45):
a car, so he buys the car, and he never
gets what he really wanted in the first place.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
He started out to buy a car park.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Well, that's not a very good illustration. But you've got
to learn to be firm. You want, no let yourself
be talked out of it.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I want to go the movies Pop.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, but you've already spent your money.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I want to go the movies, Pop. You can't talk
me out of it.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'll tell you what i'll do, Ricky. I'll advance you
the money for the movies, and next week I'll deduct
it from your allowance.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's love pop, Fellas.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Oh, Harriet, Hi mom, wasn't the box Mom?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I bought that gray suit at the style shop, you know,
the one you said you liked so much.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I said I liked it, yes, don't you remember?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
When was that?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well? Today I made you double part to look at it,
and the policeman was coming down the street. They had
it and blew it, also in gray. In fact, I
met Louise Adams in the store and she tried to
talk me into taking the blue one, but.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I stuck to my gun. You bought the gray one.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Yeah, I kind of liked it better.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
This is very interesting, fellas. Do you hear what your
mother just said? It's just like you and will thorn
very Ricky. Your mother had the same experience.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Did you buy a squirt flower? Mom loved it?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
No, it wasn't exactly the same, Ricky, But the points
there anyway, if you want to look around for it.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Okay, haven't you finished your income tax return?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You? Oh, just about. I started off with a bang,
but the questions after name and address kind of slowed
me down. This is the one that's sticking me.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Now, enter your tax from table on page four or
from line eighteen on page three.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's very simple. Do you know what it means?
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Of course. I wish you'd explain it to me. I've
read it over about ten times.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Well it says right here what to do under your
tax from table on page four or from line eighteen
on page three.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, yeah, I guess I must be awful, stupid or something.
It just sounds confusing to me. Wow, they just come
right out and tell you what you owe instead of
beating around the bush. It's a sneaky way of doing that,
wasn't this it?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Here's the table on page four.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We'll we just go down the column to the amount
you earned. See wait a minute, I see it. You
move your head. Here here's the tax. Oh sure, you
see you just entered the tax from table on page four.
It was that stuff about line eighteen that was confusing.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Well, go ahead fill it in then you can nail
it this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, no, not right away. I want to look it
over a little first and check it with this booklet.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
What booklet is that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
This one of the Thorny gave me.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Oh, let me see it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
How to Save Money on your Income Tax written by
eight eight seven four three ninety two.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Well, I think that's just a CPA number or a
cold number. His name is on a soundlet. I'm getting
it the legitimate booklet. It's got things that I didn't
know about. You know, if I were a doctor, I
could deduct part of my car expenses.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
But you're not a doctor.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, that's one I have to pass up. Oh I
could be a doctor. I've got that big first aid
kit we brought up the war surplus store. You've never
had your tonsils out, have you, Harriet?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And I'll tell you another thing. We're not going to
have another mad dash for the post office at midnight
March fifteenth. Go ahead and sign it, will you. I'll
send Ricky with you and make sure it gets nailed.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Harriet. Believe me. I don't need to take Ricky with me.
I'm a full grown man of normal intelligence. He give
me the tax return. I promised to mail it right now.
Why I got the tax return? Well, I thought you
picked it up from the table, just laid it down
here a minute ago.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It's not under these papers.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I can't understand what happened to it. I had it
right in my hand. Here it is on the floor.
Oh no, thanks, Uh, Ricky, you get your coat. You're
going down to the mailbox with Daddy.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
How do you like my new suit, David?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh gee, it looks swell. Mom.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Do you think gray is a good color for me?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
You look swell on everything, David.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That kind of talk will only get you three desserts.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I mean it, Mom.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I heard a couple of people say how pretty you
looked in church last Sunday, last Sunday.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What was I wearing last Sunday?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
My blue dress and.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
My blue hair?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
David?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Are you sure you like me in gray? Honest?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Mom, you look swell?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Well?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yes, I guess it is nice.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Gray is a beautiful color, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
It sure is a lovely color.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Gray.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Look at all the things that are gray.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Gray, clouds, gray hair, the old gray mare.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I wonder if this material will take a blue dye.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Hi augre Uh.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Huh Joe, Hello mister Randolph.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Hello Ricky, taking your daddy out for a walk. Just
mailing my tax return? Beating the old deadline this year
hurts a little low? Does move? No, I don't mind
pay my income tax. It's for a good cause. You'd say,
I don't mean to budd into your personal affairs. But
are you sure you've taken all the deductions you can? Oh? Yeah,
In fact, I have a booklet here. I looked everything up.
(11:24):
But there's a lot of stuff you can deduct it.
Most people don't know about. I let my cousin Herman
do my tax he's a taxman, really knows his stuff
too well. I looked everything over pretty carefully.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Can we mail a cairp hop?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah? Here we go out. I'll lift you up. Goodbye money.
In just a minute, Ricky Joe, believe me, I took
all illegal deductions possible. I'm sure I can't possibly save
another dome. Okay, it's your money, not you go, Ricky,
all the government once. It's just what you owe them.
(11:58):
And just a minute, Ricky Joe I can assure you
I made the tax out very carefully. I took every
possible deduction. Hof you go, Ricky, Okay, okay, if you
want to throw your money away just a minute, Ricky,
I'm getting Gimmy, Joe, are you trying to talk me
(12:22):
out of mailing this?
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There won't be any good mister Randels.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Ricky, let mister Randolph talk. Well. I was just trying
to help Ouz.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
But you probably know all the deductions you're allowed, little
things like deducting the tax you pay on theater tickets.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Naturally, you know you can take off the interest you
pay on any financing.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Here.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I'll let you up, Ricky. Joe, put that boy down.
I'm mailing Ricky. I'm sorry, I bother job. Let go
of him.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Are you pulling off the tax, David?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Do you think this blue handkerchief sets it off a
little better? Gee?
Speaker 5 (12:57):
MoMA, I don't know if you think you like the
blue suit?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Why don't you take this from God?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
You don't like this color on me? Do you?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I like it? Mom? But how about you?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Well, I'm beginning to think ause.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Adams is right.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think I'll take it back and get the blue one.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But let's not mention it to daddy, shall we.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I'll come well, your father say, I don't have a
mind of my own, and we love Daddy the way
he is.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
We wouldn't want him saying the right thing. Yes, sir,
Ricky mcboy was a lucky thing we met, mister Randolph.
Really going to save some money as well, pap Uh,
(13:43):
it might be just as well if you don't mention
this to money. See, she might not understand me.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Maybe she'll get mad at me.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
No, just don't mention it. If she asks any questions,
I'll do all the answer. Oh, Harriet, I was just
coming in.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
I was just going up.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Is that your suit box? Oh? I guess it is
taking it next door to showcasin Thornberry.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
Oh that's a good idea. Well, goodbye, so long.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
See Ricky. She didn't even ask whether we mail the
income tax or not.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
That's what I was laughing about.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You run along and play Now I'm got to get
back and do some more work on this. Well you
better go put another belt on too. You can't go
around holding those pants up all day.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Where you been, Ricky?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
It's a secret.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
It's a secret between Popp and me.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Mom has a secret too.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I'll tell you pop secret? Does he tell me Mom's secret?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Well, Mom's teaking back the gray suit and she's getting
a blue one.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
What's pop secret?
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Pop and nails?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Tax? Mom and poppera a lot of fun boy dahn.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
They sure have a lot of dopey secrets.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Hey, what is the purpleness of purpose? Ozzie's been talking about?
Area sure doesn't have it. Ozzy sure doesn't have it.
You might think nobody ever made up his mind to
anything except all those women who see International Sterling.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Of course, they know what they're about. They know right
away that International Sterling is the solid silver they want
for their homes, because International Sterling is the loveliest solid
silver in the world, rich and beautiful in every detail,
and perfect in price because it hasn't gone up. That's right.
The International Sterling pattern of your choice is the same
(15:58):
substantial weight, that same superb quality, yet it costs no
more than in nineteen forty four. Be sure to see
the spring Glory pattern, won't you. There's never been a fresher,
more enchanting pattern than Spring Glory. Its dainty modern design
is something completely different. A single flower that flows up
on one side and swings over to the other. Spring
(16:22):
Glory has an air of spring about it, a look
of grace and simple beauty. So see it at your
International Sterling dealers tomorrow. Spring Glory one of the loveliest
designs in famous International Sterling. The solid silver with beauty
that lives forever. You know, folks, I hate to say
(16:51):
this because I'm very fond of the Nelson family, but
they sure are in an uncertain mood today. Poor Area
can make up her mind between a blue suit or
a gay and prozzi.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Well, maybe it's lucky you did meet Joe Randolph before
he e mailed his income tax.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
At any rate he's doing it over. Yeah, yeah, lots
of different story, Yeah, I think so. I just want
to check this book with again. I've got taking all
the deductions I can common disasters, and I don't think
that applies to us.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
What are they?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Oh, they list them here. If an earthquake demolished the
house and a flood carried off all our property, and
then a hurricane swept away everything else we own, I'd
save two hundred dollars.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
That's a lot of money, boys.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And of course there are the things charity the theater ticket.
You heard mister Randolph talk about dependence to you and David,
are deductions?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Are we common disasters? Now?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
You're dependence. See I'm allowed six hundred dollars a year
for each of you.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
And how come I only get twenty five cents a week?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Say? The six hundred dollars is supposed to cover your food, clothes, education,
all your living expense. And I think that does it. Now?
All we have to do is get down in the
mailbox and just drop it in. Oh, Harriet, well, Pozzi,
I was just going out.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
I was just coming in. It's always so funny in
the doorway.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Where were you going? Just down to those tell you ricky? Hi? Mom?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Did you just get back? I did, David?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh, Jimmy, David, Please be more careful.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
If I hadn't slammed the door, you'd give them the
whole thing away.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I'm sorry, Mom, that's all right.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Did you get the blue suit?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Where do you see it?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It's so much nice, isn't it?
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Gray. I'm sure daddy'll like it better too.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Hello, Hello Harrian if mother?
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Oh, hello, mother hides in the closet for me.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
David Harrian, what's going on over there?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Were you telling somebody to hide in the closet?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No, no, mother, I bought a suit today and I
just asked David.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
To put it away from me.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Why, Harriet, that's the reason I called. I was talking
to Louise Adams a little while ago.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Oh, he said, she's been thinking it over and you
were absolutely right about the grays Youth. It's much better
for you than the blue ones.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Louise Adam thinks I look better in gray.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Now I must say I agree with her, Harriet.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Personally, I like you much better in gray.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Blue. Just just do anything for you.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Are you still there there? Yes, mother, I'm at Louise
at the market, and you know how she is. I've
bet a gravy for pork chops, and Louise tried to
talk me into buying lamb chops. But I'm happy to
say that I've demonstrated the same strength of.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Character you did. You should have got harder than that, dear.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
How hard can you fight?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I wanted walk chop. I set out to buy walk
chop and I.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Was going to get pork chop.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Well, good for you, mother, no lamp chop for me.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
I got the nicest pound of spare ribs. Spare ribs, yes,
Catherine for a very recommended Are you still there near?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yes, mother, I was just wondering whether I could get
down to the dress shop and back before dinner.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
All right, now, Ricky, I'm gonna pick you up, and
you're going to drop this in the mailbox, and nobody's
gonna stop us this time. Right up. Pump, oh hero
Emi loo Uh, if you'll excuse us for a moment,
we're going to drop my tax form in the mailbox.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Oh what a wonderful bit of Americana. There you stand
by the mailbox with patriotic smile on your face.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You're hues out take it.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Uncle Sam. There's a lot more where that came from.
When you're eager, I'm willing to pay your country's due.
Yeare one hundred and thirty million Americans, mister.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Emmy Lou, hope you go, Reggy, who can learn anybody
income TAXI school.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It's wonderful the way you can save.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Money if you know how.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Just a minute, Reggy, only here on the fire plug.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Emmy Lou, I don't mean to be rude or abrupt,
but I'm sure I've taken every possible Dutch.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Holy I hope you haven't overdone up, mister Nelson.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
The penalty is are pretty severe.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
They can put you.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
In jail for fraud or find you ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Now, Tom a better hold it, Ricky. I think I'll
take it home and go over it just once more.
I'm a little disappointed in you me. How come this
morning after Will Thornberry talked you into buying that squirt flower?
(22:06):
I thought I told you to be firm, know your
own mind. If I hadn't listened to mister Randolph, I
wouldn't have to change this tax return.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
What did I do? Really?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
If you had known your own mind, if you had
been firm, you wouldn't have listened to me. You'd have
mailed it. Oh, Harriet, I was just coming in.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Well, come on in, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
What's that in your hand?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I think I'll stay outside, Ozzie.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
That looks like the envelope your tax return was in.
There is a resemblance, isn't there? What happened?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
And don't tell me the mailbox was closed.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Before I could mail it. I met Joe Randolph. I
let him talk me into making some silly deduction. Oh no,
I don't try to make excuses for me. I've been
wishing wiki washy no mind of my own. Thank goodness,
you're a little different, But Ozzie, I mean it, Harriet,
the way you went ahead and bought the suit you wanted,
you knew what color you wanted. Instead of listening to
(23:07):
a lot of other people, you went right ahead and
bought that. What color was it? Blue? Yes? You bought that?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
No, Harriet, was gray, A gray blue, a little more
blue than gray.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
There's technically no gray at all. Fact, it's all blue, harrd.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You said it was gray.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Ounzie, there's something I ought to tell you a minute ago.
You said you had no mind of your own, but
you were weak and wishy washy.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I said wishing wiki washing wouldn't have been doing it.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I took the gray suits back and got the blue one.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
All right, This is wonderful. You're just as big a
chump as I. No, No, that isn't right. You've got
your blue suits, but I still haven't mailed my tax returns.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I got the blue suit, but I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You don't, Howard, what's the matter. Don't you have a
mind of you. We've already established that. You know. They
say that after people have been married a certain number
of years, they get to resemble each other. Do you
think that could be happening to us?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
It could be, say, I just thought of a very
clever plan.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Since it's pretty obvious that we both keep changing our minds,
why don't you take my blue suit back and get
me the gray one.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
And I'll mail your income tax return.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Well, that's the first sensible thing that's been said in
this family all day. Say, come to think of it,
we are beginning to resemble each other. You're getting more
like me. I'm getting more like you. I keep changing
my mind lately, just like you. And you just thought
up a wonderful idea.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Flattery will get you nowhere. You're taking a suit box
and give me your tax return.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It's a deal. Oh but let me give you a tip.
If you see Joe Randolph or Emmy lou run the
other way.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Let me give you a tip. If you see Louise Adams,
you run the other way, all right.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But you're asking a lot more of me than I'm
asking of you. In what way? Louise Adams is a
very attractive girl, beautiful eyes, beautiful figures. So what you
just don't run away from things like that. Well, there
(25:33):
goes off to re exchange Harriet's suit, and there goes
Harriet down to the corner to Mayolazzi's tax return. But
they'll be back in just a moment with their closing scene.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Hey, mister Smith, that Nelson family certainly is a bundle
of confusion.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yes, but I guess all families are like that at
one time or another.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh not my family, not now.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Anyway, We've just got a complete service before of international
Stirling in that wonderful.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Spring Glory pattern.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And my husband and I have never been so solid
an agreement over anything.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Hey, great, I'll bet I know what it was that
won your heart. That patterns Spring Lury is the loveliest
silver design I've ever seen.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
It makes me think of April and brides.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And everything fresh and beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And when we found we could get it at that
complete service for four, everything was settled right then and there.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
A complete service for four for under one hundred dollars.
That's an international sterling wonder all right. But then all
international sterling prices are.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Wonderful because they haven't gone up. Other leading silver makers
have raised their prices.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
But International Sterling brings you the same substantial weight, the
same superb quality at nineteen forty four prices. Could anyone
ask for anything more? Not me, especially since I also
got a great, big, beautiful chest with my silver, big
enough to hold one hundred and thirty two pieces. Yes,
you really got something when you own International Sterling, the
(26:54):
solid silver with beauty that lives forever. Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
Oh good, Let's see my suit.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Harriet, before you open the box. You're sure you wanted
the gray suit.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Of course, let me see it.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Don't be so anxious. A stand back a minute. No,
I don't think gray would look good on you.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Oh well, okay there, let me see my blue suit.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You like the blue suit, Yes, don't.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I've been through it myself. You'll like me in blue.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It isn't what you think. I didn't bring the blue
suit back.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
We'll I'll be satisfied with the gray one.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It isn't gray and it isn't blue. Well, what is it?
For goodness sake? Well, I met my friend Danny O'Hara,
and Saint Patrick's day is almost here.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Well, I've always wanted to green suit.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You're still off, Harriet. Danny is an orangeman, but don't
up said it is an orange. It's more of a
reddish color. But the gray suit, well, maybe we can
work something out tomorrow. We'll keep them coming and going,
and the first time a grayven comes to the front door,
we'll nail it shop. On the way home from the
(28:24):
dress shop, I stopped a glance in the window of
the trick store, and while I was looking in, little
Will Thornberry came up. I really don't have a mind
of my own. I don't get it. You will smell
as flower on my lapel. Going him next week to
(28:53):
another adventure of Arzie and Harriet's the Grand Dribe in Hollywood.
I'm sorry, Ozzie Helson and Harriet hear.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
And remember the solid silver with beauty that lives forever
is international stailing.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yes, Harriet, the solid silver with beauty that lives forever
is international sterling. Appearing in support of Bozzie and Harriet
were David and Ricky Nelson, Janet Waldo, Marine Tuttle, Marvin Miller,
and Yours Truly, Vern Smith. Original music was composed and
conducted by Billy May. It's Mulga in Ninety Minutes on
(29:33):
NBC
Total tax and items two of them that's had your
original forms W two mm.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Do you want to be downtown with me?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thanks, I want to finish this income.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I may be a little late, I promised Louise Adams
I'd stop buying.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
See her new silver. You're pretty proud of that, isn't she?
Why not?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
The solid silver with Beauty that Lives Forever is International Sterling.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
The solid Silver with Beauty that Lives Forever is International
Sterling from Hollywood International Silver Company, creators of International Sterling,
present the amusing transcribed Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring
America's favorite young couple. Ozzy Harriet figures in this great
(01:21):
land of America from the rock bound coast of Maine
to the snowbound coast of California, from the borders of
Canada famous for Canadians, to the borders of Mexico, famous
from Mexicans. From town to city, from mountain to valley,
from north to south, from east to west, America is
a land of tradition. Tradition is the seventh inning stretch
(01:45):
at the ballgame Firecrackers on the fourth of July, Turkey,
on Thanksgiving and at eighteen forty seven Riders Road. Ozzie
Nelson America is completely imaxed in what is rapidly becoming
one of America's most exasperating traditions. It calls for a
(02:07):
complete mastery of arithmetic, trigonometry, surveying semantics, foreign languages.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Including double talk and jabberwockie, not to mention mind reading,
and above all, the control of temper.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Total taxing item too above attach original forms W two
tanks tanks. Oh, and to your tax from table on
page four for from line eighteen on page three, I
(02:42):
mean nothing complicated about simes. And to your tax from
table on page four or from mine eighteen on page three, Well,
that's clear enough. And to your tax from table on
page four were or from line eighteen on page three.
(03:05):
Let's read that again.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
You don't know how to work it, That's all I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Saw it gone?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Boys, please, I'm busy now. Evidently what they're trying to
say is enter your tax from table on page four
or from line eighteen on page three. Enter your tax
on the table. I could push the whole works off
(03:34):
the table into the wastebasket.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Get attack, David.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
It's good in the saxe spells how's the government going
to know where they stand financially? If I don't get
my income tax?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Can you pach my squirre flower for me?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Pop?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
You're what my squirt flower? It doesn't work. You squeeze
that rubber ball and the water is supposed to squirt off.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
No, let me see it. There's probably something stopping up
the hose.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
I squeeze it. Nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
See work that time. Let me your handkerchief, David.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Gee, I didn't even name it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
No, that isn't necessary when somebody's looking right into it.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
You aren't mad at me, are you?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Pop?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
No? But I will be if you guys don't run along.
Let me finish this income text.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Okay, Pop, you stay there, Dopey.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Well, David, that's not nice calling your little brother dopey.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
You know what he did. He spent his lawless on
that squirt floor.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
No, he can't go to the movies. I don't want
to go anywhere.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Well, will you guys please finish this outside? Nothing to
argue about in the first place. Ricky wanted a squirt gun,
so he bought it. You want to go to the show,
so go ahead, David. Evidently Ricky doesn't care about it.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's just saying that I am not why God, Okay,
let's drop.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
It, hanh. Ricky doesn't want to go to the show,
so let's forget it. Let's see where I am here. Huh,
what is it, Ricky?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
There's money so I can go to the show.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Ricky, why did you buy the squirt flower?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Will thorns on it in the church store window?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
What's will Thornberry got to do with you?
Speaker 4 (05:11):
He liked it so much he thought I had.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
To buy it. Did he buy one too?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
No, he's going to the show with David.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Ricky. What happened to you is a rather common thing.
You see, you were talking to something you didn't want
to buy. Happens every day. Fella starts out to buy
a car. Before he gets to the car a lot,
he meets somebody tells him about a television set, or
he can buy the television set. He meets somebody tells
him about a wonderful movie camera, or he can buy
the movie camera. He meets somebody who tells him about
(05:45):
a car, so he buys the car, and he never
gets what he really wanted in the first place.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
He started out to buy a car park.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Well, that's not a very good illustration. But you've got
to learn to be firm. You want, no let yourself
be talked out of it.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I want to go the movies Pop.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, but you've already spent your money.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
I want to go the movies, Pop. You can't talk
me out of it.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'll tell you what i'll do, Ricky. I'll advance you
the money for the movies, and next week I'll deduct
it from your allowance.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
It's love pop, Fellas.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Oh, Harriet, Hi mom, wasn't the box Mom?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
I bought that gray suit at the style shop, you know,
the one you said you liked so much.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
I said I liked it, yes, don't you remember?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
When was that?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well? Today I made you double part to look at it,
and the policeman was coming down the street. They had
it and blew it, also in gray. In fact, I
met Louise Adams in the store and she tried to
talk me into taking the blue one, but.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I stuck to my gun. You bought the gray one.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Yeah, I kind of liked it better.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
This is very interesting, fellas. Do you hear what your
mother just said? It's just like you and will thorn
very Ricky. Your mother had the same experience.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Did you buy a squirt flower? Mom loved it?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
No, it wasn't exactly the same, Ricky, But the points
there anyway, if you want to look around for it.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Okay, haven't you finished your income tax return?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You? Oh, just about. I started off with a bang,
but the questions after name and address kind of slowed
me down. This is the one that's sticking me.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Now, enter your tax from table on page four or
from line eighteen on page three.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's very simple. Do you know what it means?
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Of course. I wish you'd explain it to me. I've
read it over about ten times.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Well it says right here what to do under your
tax from table on page four or from line eighteen
on page three.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, yeah, I guess I must be awful, stupid or something.
It just sounds confusing to me. Wow, they just come
right out and tell you what you owe instead of
beating around the bush. It's a sneaky way of doing that,
wasn't this it?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Here's the table on page four.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We'll we just go down the column to the amount
you earned. See wait a minute, I see it. You
move your head. Here here's the tax. Oh sure, you
see you just entered the tax from table on page four.
It was that stuff about line eighteen that was confusing.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Well, go ahead fill it in then you can nail
it this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, no, not right away. I want to look it
over a little first and check it with this booklet.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
What booklet is that? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
This one of the Thorny gave me.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
Oh, let me see it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
How to Save Money on your Income Tax written by
eight eight seven four three ninety two.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Well, I think that's just a CPA number or a
cold number. His name is on a soundlet. I'm getting
it the legitimate booklet. It's got things that I didn't
know about. You know, if I were a doctor, I
could deduct part of my car expenses.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
But you're not a doctor.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
No, that's one I have to pass up. Oh I
could be a doctor. I've got that big first aid
kit we brought up the war surplus store. You've never
had your tonsils out, have you, Harriet?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
And I'll tell you another thing. We're not going to
have another mad dash for the post office at midnight
March fifteenth. Go ahead and sign it, will you. I'll
send Ricky with you and make sure it gets nailed.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Harriet. Believe me. I don't need to take Ricky with me.
I'm a full grown man of normal intelligence. He give
me the tax return. I promised to mail it right now.
Why I got the tax return? Well, I thought you
picked it up from the table, just laid it down
here a minute ago.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It's not under these papers.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I can't understand what happened to it. I had it
right in my hand. Here it is on the floor.
Oh no, thanks, Uh, Ricky, you get your coat. You're
going down to the mailbox with Daddy.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
How do you like my new suit, David?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh gee, it looks swell. Mom.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Do you think gray is a good color for me?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
You look swell on everything, David.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That kind of talk will only get you three desserts.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I mean it, Mom.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I heard a couple of people say how pretty you
looked in church last Sunday, last Sunday.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What was I wearing last Sunday?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
My blue dress and.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
My blue hair?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
David?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Are you sure you like me in gray? Honest?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
Mom, you look swell?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Well?
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Yes, I guess it is nice.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Gray is a beautiful color, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
It sure is a lovely color.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Gray.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Look at all the things that are gray.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Gray, clouds, gray hair, the old gray mare.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I wonder if this material will take a blue dye.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Hi augre Uh.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Huh Joe, Hello mister Randolph.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Hello Ricky, taking your daddy out for a walk. Just
mailing my tax return? Beating the old deadline this year
hurts a little low? Does move? No, I don't mind
pay my income tax. It's for a good cause. You'd say,
I don't mean to budd into your personal affairs. But
are you sure you've taken all the deductions you can? Oh? Yeah,
In fact, I have a booklet here. I looked everything up.
(11:24):
But there's a lot of stuff you can deduct it.
Most people don't know about. I let my cousin Herman
do my tax he's a taxman, really knows his stuff
too well. I looked everything over pretty carefully.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Can we mail a cairp hop?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah? Here we go out. I'll lift you up. Goodbye money.
In just a minute, Ricky Joe, believe me, I took
all illegal deductions possible. I'm sure I can't possibly save
another dome. Okay, it's your money, not you go, Ricky,
all the government once. It's just what you owe them.
(11:58):
And just a minute, Ricky Joe I can assure you
I made the tax out very carefully. I took every
possible deduction. Hof you go, Ricky, Okay, okay, if you
want to throw your money away just a minute, Ricky,
I'm getting Gimmy, Joe, are you trying to talk me
(12:22):
out of mailing this?
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There won't be any good mister Randels.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Ricky, let mister Randolph talk. Well. I was just trying
to help Ouz.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
But you probably know all the deductions you're allowed, little
things like deducting the tax you pay on theater tickets.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Naturally, you know you can take off the interest you
pay on any financing.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Here.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I'll let you up, Ricky. Joe, put that boy down.
I'm mailing Ricky. I'm sorry, I bother job. Let go
of him.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Are you pulling off the tax, David?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Do you think this blue handkerchief sets it off a
little better? Gee?
Speaker 5 (12:57):
MoMA, I don't know if you think you like the
blue suit?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Why don't you take this from God?
Speaker 5 (13:02):
You don't like this color on me? Do you?
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I like it? Mom? But how about you?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Well, I'm beginning to think ause.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
Adams is right.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I think I'll take it back and get the blue one.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But let's not mention it to daddy, shall we.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I'll come well, your father say, I don't have a
mind of my own, and we love Daddy the way
he is.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
We wouldn't want him saying the right thing. Yes, sir,
Ricky mcboy was a lucky thing we met, mister Randolph.
Really going to save some money as well, pap Uh,
(13:43):
it might be just as well if you don't mention
this to money. See, she might not understand me.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Maybe she'll get mad at me.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
No, just don't mention it. If she asks any questions,
I'll do all the answer. Oh, Harriet, I was just
coming in.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
I was just going up.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Is that your suit box? Oh? I guess it is
taking it next door to showcasin Thornberry.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
Oh that's a good idea. Well, goodbye, so long.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
See Ricky. She didn't even ask whether we mail the
income tax or not.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
That's what I was laughing about.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You run along and play Now I'm got to get
back and do some more work on this. Well you
better go put another belt on too. You can't go
around holding those pants up all day.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Where you been, Ricky?
Speaker 4 (14:40):
It's a secret.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
It's a secret between Popp and me.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Mom has a secret too.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
I'll tell you pop secret? Does he tell me Mom's secret?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Well, Mom's teaking back the gray suit and she's getting
a blue one.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
What's pop secret?
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Pop and nails?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Tax? Mom and poppera a lot of fun boy dahn.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
They sure have a lot of dopey secrets.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Hey, what is the purpleness of purpose? Ozzie's been talking about?
Area sure doesn't have it. Ozzy sure doesn't have it.
You might think nobody ever made up his mind to
anything except all those women who see International Sterling.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Of course, they know what they're about. They know right
away that International Sterling is the solid silver they want
for their homes, because International Sterling is the loveliest solid
silver in the world, rich and beautiful in every detail,
and perfect in price because it hasn't gone up. That's right.
The International Sterling pattern of your choice is the same
(15:58):
substantial weight, that same superb quality, yet it costs no
more than in nineteen forty four. Be sure to see
the spring Glory pattern, won't you. There's never been a fresher,
more enchanting pattern than Spring Glory. Its dainty modern design
is something completely different. A single flower that flows up
on one side and swings over to the other. Spring
(16:22):
Glory has an air of spring about it, a look
of grace and simple beauty. So see it at your
International Sterling dealers tomorrow. Spring Glory one of the loveliest
designs in famous International Sterling. The solid silver with beauty
that lives forever. You know, folks, I hate to say
(16:51):
this because I'm very fond of the Nelson family, but
they sure are in an uncertain mood today. Poor Area
can make up her mind between a blue suit or
a gay and prozzi.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Well, maybe it's lucky you did meet Joe Randolph before
he e mailed his income tax.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
At any rate he's doing it over. Yeah, yeah, lots
of different story, Yeah, I think so. I just want
to check this book with again. I've got taking all
the deductions I can common disasters, and I don't think
that applies to us.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
What are they?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Oh, they list them here. If an earthquake demolished the
house and a flood carried off all our property, and
then a hurricane swept away everything else we own, I'd
save two hundred dollars.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
That's a lot of money, boys.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And of course there are the things charity the theater ticket.
You heard mister Randolph talk about dependence to you and David,
are deductions?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Are we common disasters? Now?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
You're dependence. See I'm allowed six hundred dollars a year
for each of you.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
And how come I only get twenty five cents a week?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Say? The six hundred dollars is supposed to cover your food, clothes, education,
all your living expense. And I think that does it. Now?
All we have to do is get down in the
mailbox and just drop it in. Oh, Harriet, well, Pozzi,
I was just going out.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
I was just coming in. It's always so funny in
the doorway.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Where were you going? Just down to those tell you ricky? Hi? Mom?
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Did you just get back? I did, David?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh, Jimmy, David, Please be more careful.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
If I hadn't slammed the door, you'd give them the
whole thing away.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I'm sorry, Mom, that's all right.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Did you get the blue suit?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Where do you see it?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
It's so much nice, isn't it?
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Gray. I'm sure daddy'll like it better too.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Hello, Hello Harrian if mother?
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Oh, hello, mother hides in the closet for me.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
David Harrian, what's going on over there?
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Were you telling somebody to hide in the closet?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
No, no, mother, I bought a suit today and I
just asked David.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
To put it away from me.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Why, Harriet, that's the reason I called. I was talking
to Louise Adams a little while ago.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Oh, he said, she's been thinking it over and you
were absolutely right about the grays Youth. It's much better
for you than the blue ones.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Louise Adam thinks I look better in gray.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Now I must say I agree with her, Harriet.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Personally, I like you much better in gray.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Blue. Just just do anything for you.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Are you still there there? Yes, mother, I'm at Louise
at the market, and you know how she is. I've
bet a gravy for pork chops, and Louise tried to
talk me into buying lamb chops. But I'm happy to
say that I've demonstrated the same strength of.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Character you did. You should have got harder than that, dear.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
How hard can you fight?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I wanted walk chop. I set out to buy walk
chop and I.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Was going to get pork chop.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Well, good for you, mother, no lamp chop for me.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
I got the nicest pound of spare ribs. Spare ribs, yes,
Catherine for a very recommended Are you still there near?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yes, mother, I was just wondering whether I could get
down to the dress shop and back before dinner.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
All right, now, Ricky, I'm gonna pick you up, and
you're going to drop this in the mailbox, and nobody's
gonna stop us this time. Right up. Pump, oh hero
Emi loo Uh, if you'll excuse us for a moment,
we're going to drop my tax form in the mailbox.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Oh what a wonderful bit of Americana. There you stand
by the mailbox with patriotic smile on your face.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
You're hues out take it.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Uncle Sam. There's a lot more where that came from.
When you're eager, I'm willing to pay your country's due.
Yeare one hundred and thirty million Americans, mister.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Emmy Lou, hope you go, Reggy, who can learn anybody
income TAXI school.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
It's wonderful the way you can save.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Money if you know how.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Just a minute, Reggy, only here on the fire plug.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Emmy Lou, I don't mean to be rude or abrupt,
but I'm sure I've taken every possible Dutch.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Holy I hope you haven't overdone up, mister Nelson.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
The penalty is are pretty severe.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
They can put you.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
In jail for fraud or find you ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Now, Tom a better hold it, Ricky. I think I'll
take it home and go over it just once more.
I'm a little disappointed in you me. How come this
morning after Will Thornberry talked you into buying that squirt flower?
(22:06):
I thought I told you to be firm, know your
own mind. If I hadn't listened to mister Randolph, I
wouldn't have to change this tax return.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
What did I do? Really?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
If you had known your own mind, if you had
been firm, you wouldn't have listened to me. You'd have
mailed it. Oh, Harriet, I was just coming in.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Well, come on in, Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
What's that in your hand?
Speaker 4 (22:31):
I think I'll stay outside, Ozzie.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
That looks like the envelope your tax return was in.
There is a resemblance, isn't there? What happened?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
And don't tell me the mailbox was closed.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Before I could mail it. I met Joe Randolph. I
let him talk me into making some silly deduction. Oh no,
I don't try to make excuses for me. I've been
wishing wiki washy no mind of my own. Thank goodness,
you're a little different, But Ozzie, I mean it, Harriet,
the way you went ahead and bought the suit you wanted,
you knew what color you wanted. Instead of listening to
(23:07):
a lot of other people, you went right ahead and
bought that. What color was it? Blue? Yes? You bought that?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
No, Harriet, was gray, A gray blue, a little more
blue than gray.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
There's technically no gray at all. Fact, it's all blue, harrd.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You said it was gray.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Ounzie, there's something I ought to tell you a minute ago.
You said you had no mind of your own, but
you were weak and wishy washy.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I said wishing wiki washing wouldn't have been doing it.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
I took the gray suits back and got the blue one.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
All right, This is wonderful. You're just as big a
chump as I. No, No, that isn't right. You've got
your blue suits, but I still haven't mailed my tax returns.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I got the blue suit, but I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You don't, Howard, what's the matter. Don't you have a
mind of you. We've already established that. You know. They
say that after people have been married a certain number
of years, they get to resemble each other. Do you
think that could be happening to us?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
It could be, say, I just thought of a very
clever plan.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Since it's pretty obvious that we both keep changing our minds,
why don't you take my blue suit back and get
me the gray one.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
And I'll mail your income tax return.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Well, that's the first sensible thing that's been said in
this family all day. Say, come to think of it,
we are beginning to resemble each other. You're getting more
like me. I'm getting more like you. I keep changing
my mind lately, just like you. And you just thought
up a wonderful idea.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Flattery will get you nowhere. You're taking a suit box
and give me your tax return.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
It's a deal. Oh but let me give you a tip.
If you see Joe Randolph or Emmy lou run the
other way.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Let me give you a tip. If you see Louise Adams,
you run the other way, all right.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But you're asking a lot more of me than I'm
asking of you. In what way? Louise Adams is a
very attractive girl, beautiful eyes, beautiful figures. So what you
just don't run away from things like that. Well, there
(25:33):
goes off to re exchange Harriet's suit, and there goes
Harriet down to the corner to Mayolazzi's tax return. But
they'll be back in just a moment with their closing scene.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Hey, mister Smith, that Nelson family certainly is a bundle
of confusion.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yes, but I guess all families are like that at
one time or another.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Oh not my family, not now.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Anyway, We've just got a complete service before of international
Stirling in that wonderful.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Spring Glory pattern.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
And my husband and I have never been so solid
an agreement over anything.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Hey, great, I'll bet I know what it was that
won your heart. That patterns Spring Lury is the loveliest
silver design I've ever seen.
Speaker 5 (26:10):
It makes me think of April and brides.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
And everything fresh and beautiful.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And when we found we could get it at that
complete service for four, everything was settled right then and there.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
A complete service for four for under one hundred dollars.
That's an international sterling wonder all right. But then all
international sterling prices are.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Wonderful because they haven't gone up. Other leading silver makers
have raised their prices.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
But International Sterling brings you the same substantial weight, the
same superb quality at nineteen forty four prices. Could anyone
ask for anything more? Not me, especially since I also
got a great, big, beautiful chest with my silver, big
enough to hold one hundred and thirty two pieces. Yes,
you really got something when you own International Sterling, the
(26:54):
solid silver with beauty that lives forever. Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
Oh good, Let's see my suit.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Harriet, before you open the box. You're sure you wanted
the gray suit.
Speaker 5 (27:14):
Of course, let me see it.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Don't be so anxious. A stand back a minute. No,
I don't think gray would look good on you.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Oh well, okay there, let me see my blue suit.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
You like the blue suit, Yes, don't.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Feel bad about it.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
I've been through it myself. You'll like me in blue.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It isn't what you think. I didn't bring the blue
suit back.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
We'll I'll be satisfied with the gray one.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It isn't gray and it isn't blue. Well, what is it?
For goodness sake? Well, I met my friend Danny O'Hara,
and Saint Patrick's day is almost here.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Well, I've always wanted to green suit.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You're still off, Harriet. Danny is an orangeman, but don't
up said it is an orange. It's more of a
reddish color. But the gray suit, well, maybe we can
work something out tomorrow. We'll keep them coming and going,
and the first time a grayven comes to the front door,
we'll nail it shop. On the way home from the
(28:24):
dress shop, I stopped a glance in the window of
the trick store, and while I was looking in, little
Will Thornberry came up. I really don't have a mind
of my own. I don't get it. You will smell
as flower on my lapel. Going him next week to
(28:53):
another adventure of Arzie and Harriet's the Grand Dribe in Hollywood.
I'm sorry, Ozzie Helson and Harriet hear.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
And remember the solid silver with beauty that lives forever
is international stailing.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yes, Harriet, the solid silver with beauty that lives forever
is international sterling. Appearing in support of Bozzie and Harriet
were David and Ricky Nelson, Janet Waldo, Marine Tuttle, Marvin Miller,
and Yours Truly, Vern Smith. Original music was composed and
conducted by Billy May. It's Mulga in Ninety Minutes on
(29:33):
NBC
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