All Episodes

October 12, 2024 28 mins
Please enjoy Invitations To Din a great episode of the legendary Ozzie and Harriet - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR

This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you realize that Tuesday is Washington's birthday?

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Frankly, I hadn't given it much sauce. Would you like
me to bake a cake or something?

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Well? How about a cherry tree pie?

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Isn't funny?

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Of all the wonderful things Washington did, the first thing
that comes to your mind is that silly little fable
about his telling the.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
Truth and speaking of the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
The solid silver with beauty.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
That lives forever is International Sterling, That's for sure.

Speaker 5 (00:43):
The solid silver with beauty that lives forever is International
Sterling from Hollywood International Silver Company, creators of International Sterling.
Prevents The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring America's favorite
young couple. Ozzy Nelson and Harriet hid here at eighteen

(01:17):
forty seven Roches Road, where the Nelsons live, there's usually
a narrow happiness prevailing. It starts at the big friendly
welcome matt on the front porch and continues clear through
the big friendly house to the big friendly backyard where
Nick the family Center lives. He's the big friendly dog
with a laugh in his bark.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
But today there's one face that doesn't fit.

Speaker 5 (01:37):
In with this happy atmosphere. Young David Nelson seems to
have something.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
On his mind.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
What's wrong, David? You've hardly said a word all morning?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
It's nothing more, Well, there's.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Something bothering you?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:48):
It's nothing, really, mom, Dave, they hurry, please you say
it's nothing, David? Is that right? That's right?

Speaker 3 (01:55):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:55):
If it's nothing, it's nothing, we'll just forget it.

Speaker 6 (02:01):
Shared the paper.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
It is something.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Oh, I kind of.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Thought you'd like to tell us about it. What seems
to be the trouble?

Speaker 7 (02:11):
It's nothing, pomp.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
David.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
We're not trying to pry into your personal affairs, but
why don't you just tell us about it? Maybe we
can help you.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's kind of silly. I guess see.

Speaker 7 (02:22):
Grace Johnson invited me to her party Friday night, and
I told.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Her i'd come.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
That sounds very nice.

Speaker 7 (02:27):
Yeah, but our team is supposed to play basketball Friday night,
so I gotta.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
Tell her I can't make it.

Speaker 8 (02:32):
He gave it a dope, pop.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Ricky read your comic book.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
In other words, David, you mean.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
You forgot you had to play basketball and that's why
you accepted her invitation.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (02:41):
No, I remembered it.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
I mean, when you accepted Grace's invitation, you knew you
couldn't make it. That it was the same night as
you'r a basketball game.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
Yes, now he gave it a dope, pop, Ricky. Well,
then why did you accept it, David?

Speaker 9 (02:56):
Well, golly, mom, she.

Speaker 7 (02:57):
Seems so excited about the party. I didn't have the
heart to disappoint her.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Well, I realized how you must have felt, David. But
you're gonna have to tell her sometime now. It'll be
a bigger disappointment.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
You find it's much better to tell people the truth right.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Off, otherwise you wind up in an embarrassing situation for everybody.

Speaker 10 (03:14):
Are they gonna have ice cream with the party?

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Sure, gallons of it.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
That's another thing, pomp.

Speaker 7 (03:20):
I feel awful silly if I turned on the party
and then the basketball game was called off?

Speaker 4 (03:24):
Do you think that's possible?

Speaker 9 (03:25):
Never call one off?

Speaker 10 (03:27):
Yet?

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Oh, rick you keep quiet?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Do you think it may be called off? David?

Speaker 7 (03:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
There's always a chance.

Speaker 7 (03:33):
Lots of things could happen, Like what whoa suppose to
Kevin is the other team?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's the measles that sounds to me like a pretty
remote possibility.

Speaker 6 (03:42):
Maybe not pomp.

Speaker 7 (03:44):
A couple of weeks ago, we were supposed to take
an arithmetic test and the teacher got to the appendicitis.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, that was just a rare coincidence. I think the
safest thing for you to do is call Grace on
the phone and tell her you can't make it.

Speaker 7 (03:54):
Maybe I could go to the party first and then
play basketball.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
I think you'd be too full of ice cream and
cake to play my the game. You can be the basketball.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I guess I'll.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Just think it over. Well, it's your problem, David.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Did you know the old proverb never put off until
tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief
of time. Oh, are you're going to say something? Harry?

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Yes? Did you go downtown and pay the gas bill yesterday?

Speaker 1 (04:22):
You said you would. I'm glad you mentioned that, Harriet.
Now Here is a perfect example of the point I'm
trying to make.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
David. Your mother asked me to pay the gas bill yesterday, and.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Instead of putting it off until tomorrow, I'm going down
and pay it today.

Speaker 9 (04:49):
Jugle Mine, please, Hey, Mom, tell Baum.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
This is Jones, which missus Jones.

Speaker 10 (04:56):
Which missus Jones?

Speaker 7 (04:57):
N You missus Jones.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Never mind, Ricky still no hair.

Speaker 9 (05:01):
This is Pamela. You haven't forgotten you were having dinner
with us tonight, have you?

Speaker 3 (05:05):
Oh no, Pamela.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
I'm glad you call, though I'm not sure I know
how to get.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Out to your house.

Speaker 10 (05:10):
Well that's why I phoned. If you got a pencil
right here?

Speaker 9 (05:13):
Well, first of.

Speaker 10 (05:14):
All, you come straight up ball with Bulevard.

Speaker 9 (05:17):
Now I'll wait.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Let that.

Speaker 10 (05:20):
I never remember pop.

Speaker 9 (05:23):
Now when I'm facing the radio, the wing chairs east,
you'll come to Orde, the.

Speaker 10 (05:28):
Damn Ports and north Stars on ball with boulevards until
you get to the corner where Castle Road crosses. And
when you get there, have your husband slow down. The
shop on the corner heads. The hat in the windows
is just perfect for you.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
You love it good, I could use a new hat.
We go off Baldwin and turn. It's a cute hat.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
So that's why I get you turn left.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
And then you'll be on Castle Road.

Speaker 9 (05:50):
Then you turn, Oh no, no, no, no, let me
face the radio again.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
You turn to the winged chair that's east east east
on Castle the Oak.

Speaker 9 (05:58):
Street, and as you may turn, you'll notice a little
dress shop on the corner.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Should I have Assie slow down.

Speaker 10 (06:04):
Again, by all means, dear, that little task of dress
in the winter, there.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Is out of this world.

Speaker 4 (06:09):
You turn right, all right, down bown, turned left at
the hat down Castle, turn right at the tap of
the dress.

Speaker 10 (06:15):
Yes, I think that's right, and i'll make this man
turned to the radio.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Thank you ahead for this book.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Okay, So it's left left on oak left, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
And you live at thirteen forty.

Speaker 10 (06:28):
Oh, yes, that's right.

Speaker 9 (06:30):
The numerals on the door, I'll say one, three, four
of the oh is missing.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
I'm sure we'll find it, Tamela.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
About what time should we be there?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Oh?

Speaker 10 (06:38):
About seventh?

Speaker 9 (06:39):
Oh, Harriet, wait a minute, wait here, I'll give you
the directions over again.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
Oh, I'm sure I got some straight Tamela. But I
just remembered I moved all the furniture around yesterday.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh. Hi at Thorny.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Any sign of the bus yet? Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:02):
High, there's no nut here. Lots of buses, but the
wrong ones.

Speaker 5 (07:05):
Kind of Chili's standing here too?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Well?

Speaker 3 (07:07):
Hello there, how's the bowling?

Speaker 10 (07:09):
Jam?

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Well, for goodness sakes, book, who's here?

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Have you been? Oh? Just fine, and you can't complain. Hey,
sure is nice to see you again.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Well, thanks, we've been keeping yourself lately.

Speaker 8 (07:21):
Oh you know round.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
You both know each other, don't you. I don't think
i've had the pleasure.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Oh I'm sorry. This is my neighbor, mister Thornberry. This
is mister Schmizer.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
How do you do.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
How things going?

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh fine, fine, just fine? Thanks?

Speaker 1 (07:42):
How things will you? Oh it's great? See any of
the old gang lately? How what old gangs that you know?
The Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yes, you mean the boys down here?

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah, the boy's down.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
Oh yeah, once in a while, or running the dick
the other day.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Oh, swell, who is how is he?

Speaker 3 (08:02):
Oh he's doing fine.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Dog.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
He sees Tom occasional, good old Tom.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Other than that, nothing new, No, same old grind. How's
the white Oh she's fine, and it's my wife.

Speaker 8 (08:18):
Fine.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Oh say you never did come over with that fried
chicken dinner. Oh that's your fault. You didn't invite us.
Oh I didn't.

Speaker 5 (08:27):
Well we'll remedy that right now about tonight.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Oh No no, no, no, not tonight, I mean your wife.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
But one's gonna be silly. We always have plenty to eat,
and the wife loves the cook. Yeah I know, but
I always excuses.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Shall we say about seven o'clock. Oh, well, that's awfully Nicey,
but really we couldn't.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Oh, oh, here's my body. Well, we'll see it seven.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Just a minute. This is very embarrassing, But to be
honest with you, I'm afraid I don't remember your your address.
Where are you living now? Same old place? It's writing
the falt book.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
We'll see it seven. Yeah, it looks like you're invited
out to do it tonight.

Speaker 10 (09:04):
Oz.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
He seems like a.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
Nice poem, thorny. I know you won't believe this, but
I can't seem to place the guy. His face is
so dying.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
Familiar, but I can't remember his name.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
For some reason.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
How can that be? Oz? You were carrying on such
a brilliant conversation where we know him from? You mentioned
something about bowling, didn't he?

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I think he did. But he also called you champ,
so I'm sure he's never seen you bull.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Oh Harriet remembers him. She probably will.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
She has a wonderful memory for names. Thank goodness, that's.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
All you worried about, Oz.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
I know his name, you do?

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Well, then why didn't you tell me?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
You didn't ask me?

Speaker 1 (09:42):
I was dying to worry about it? How did you
know his name?

Speaker 8 (09:48):
You told me?

Speaker 5 (09:50):
I told you, sure, you said, very distinctly, mister Thornberry
met mister right.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
I heard in the kids.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Oh, I have.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
News for you. We're going out to dinner tonight.

Speaker 6 (10:10):
Well, good for you.

Speaker 4 (10:10):
I didn't think you'd remember it. In fact, I don't
remember telling you about it.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Well, how could you tell me about it? We weren't invited,
UNTI about an hour ago, and I was the one
who accepted the invitation.

Speaker 4 (10:21):
You mean you met Pamela downtown?

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Pamela? Who's Pamela?

Speaker 4 (10:25):
Pamela Jones in the PTA.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't even know her.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
Of course you do. She was at the Randolph's New
Year's Eve party.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
I don't remember it. You sure I met her?

Speaker 9 (10:37):
Well, believe me.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Did you meet her?

Speaker 1 (10:38):
I'm sure you did.

Speaker 11 (10:40):
Well.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
I wonder why I don't remember it.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
Don't you remember that tall, beautiful, red haired girl with
a strapless evening gown?

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yes, of course.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Well Pamela was sitting right next to her.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I wonder I didn't remember it. How did she get
into the conversation?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Anyway?

Speaker 4 (11:06):
I just told you we're going over there for dinner tonight.
She invited us about two weeks.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Ago, Harriet, I think we've got one of those little
problems that make life so interesting.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
What did you do?

Speaker 1 (11:19):
I accepted another invitation.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
For us for dinner tonight?

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah? Well when was this? Just about an hour ago?
Oh that's a shame after all.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
What kind of an invitation is that? At the last minute,
probably somebody else couldn't show up.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Well, Harrid, I don't think that's a very nice way
to talk about a good friend of mine.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
But it's such a strange thing to do, I mean,
at the last minute, like.

Speaker 11 (11:41):
That, Who was it?

Speaker 1 (11:43):
You know that fellow we know from the bowling club? No,
what's his name?

Speaker 4 (11:47):
You don't know his name?

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Sure that is.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
I think i'd know it if I heard it.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
Pace was very familiar.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Let me get this straight now, if you accepted a
dinner invitation for tonight and you don't even know the
man's name.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Frankly, Hart, I was counting on you. You're always so
good at remembering names.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
What does he look like?

Speaker 1 (12:10):
He's about average height, average weight, a very pleasant average face.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Does that sound like anybody we know?

Speaker 8 (12:25):
It sounds like everybody we know.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
Where did you say we know.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Him from the bowling club? I'm sure of that much,
because he said so. I wish you'd think a little
because I know you know him. Kind of a disappointment, dear,
I was counting on.

Speaker 4 (12:40):
You, but I never go to your bowling clothes.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Well, sure you do. You over there Ladies' night, the
big tournament a few weeks ago, wasn't it?

Speaker 4 (12:48):
That was last fourth of July?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
I was sure it was Labor Day.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
Well, maybe you can think of it while I'm making
the sandwiches. What sandwiches the ones you always before we
go out to dinner?

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Oh no, father, a dreadful miss. We are with two
dinner dates, and one of them we don't even know
who the people are.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
Are you sure you don't want the sandwiches I haven't
practically made.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
No, no thanks, I'm so worried. I've completely lost my appetite.
What kind of sandwiches?

Speaker 4 (13:23):
Taking a tomato and whole wheat with Charles Nyland dressing.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Well, as long as you've gone to all the trouble,
I'll just have one or two and glass. I wish
I could remember who this guy is. His face is
so darned from me.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Why in the world didn't you just tell him?

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Man?

Speaker 4 (13:37):
You couldn't remember his name.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
There's no crime in that, Harriet.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
You know very well you can't do a thing like
that hurt a person's feelings. It's just like I was
telling David this morning, It's always better to come right out.
David's was an entirely different case. Come on, Harry, help
me with this. Will you not try and remember? Man
about average Laviga.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Guys. Now there's a situation.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
I bet there's nothing that beats it for confusion, unless
I'll wait a minute. I forgot about the subject of
today's prices. Now that's something that makes your head spin.
But there is one exception to that, a really glorious exception,
and that's the price of world famous International Sterling. This
loveliest of solid silvers, this solid silver with beauty that

(14:38):
looks forever, costs just exactly what it did five years ago.
Other leading silver people have raised their prices, but not
International sterling. The international sterling pattern of your choice is
the same substantial weight, the same superb quality, yet it
costs no more than in nineteen forty four. So by
getting eight place settings in International sterlings lovely Predude pattern

(15:01):
rather than some other sterling, you save about twenty dollars
enough to buy eight additional teaspoons. And remember this is
international sterling. You can own nothing more beautiful. So visit
your international sterling dealer tomorrow. Spend your dollars in the
way that will reward you most richly by choosing international sterling.

(15:32):
See that man making his way laboriously up the street.
That man is Ozzie Nelson, a man with a problem.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Peterson Wilson, Benson Nelson.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Oh, hello em.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
No, no, just to help yourself, Simpson Carson, did your pardon?
I'm trying to think of a man's name.

Speaker 7 (16:06):
Oh, William Johnson, William Johnson, William Johnson, Yes, that sounds familiar.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Carton, that's my father's name.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Terrible.

Speaker 6 (16:22):
Who is his name?

Speaker 2 (16:23):
You can't think of?

Speaker 1 (16:24):
He's a good friend of mine. I bumped into him downtown.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Well maybe I can help you. What's his name?

Speaker 1 (16:31):
That's what I've forgotten.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Have you tried scratching your hands?

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Yes? I tried that, just made a lot of noise
in my ears. I got a lot of grease on
my hands.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Got tried every way I've ever heard of.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
I even stood on my head in the corner that's
not supposed to help, but no names.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
Can't your mind.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Only the ones Missus Nelson called me for getting footprints
on the wallpaper.

Speaker 9 (16:54):
I wish I could help you, mister Nelson's have you
tried the psychology of association?

Speaker 4 (17:00):
You associate what you're trying to remember with some other
thing and try.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
And connect the two.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Well, I met him in the bowling alley, bowling alley.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
Try and picture the bowling alley.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
In your mind. Bowling alley, Yes, I can see it.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
No, trying to picture the man's face, his face.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
I say that he's got a hole in his head.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
No, that's the bowling Do.

Speaker 10 (17:25):
Picture is safe.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
As his face, bowling, the bowling alley. It's face, bowling
his face, the bowling ally.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
It's face. The bowling alley, it's face, the bowling alley.

Speaker 5 (17:34):
How you got the picture?

Speaker 1 (17:35):
I've got it. His face, the bowling alley, his face,
the bowling alley, our bowling face.

Speaker 4 (17:47):
You're gonna start getting ready. We have to leave pretty soon.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I wish you wouldn't do that, Harry.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
You just disturbed my whole train of thought. This guy's
name right on the tip of my tongue.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
I thought you'd given up.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
I can't give up. I've got to think of it somehow.
I mean, lou just reminded me of something, the association
of ideas, and I'm working on that now.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Well, don't forget. We're supposed to be a tamil Is
at seven o'clock.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
How much I'm sure of it must be a very
average name.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
Why do you say that, Well, if it.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Were an unusual, difficult name, I'd concentrate on it and
remember it by association of ideas.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
And I don't think i'd count on that too much.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Well, you know it's true. You take George Trout down
the block. A Trout is a pretty unusual name, but
it's easy to remember by the process of association. All
you have to do is think of fish and you've
got it. Never I see George, I immediately think of fish,
and right away I know his name.

Speaker 6 (18:39):
Ozzy.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
I was there the.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
Day you said hello, mister mackerel.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
I don't remember any such thing. I m to think
of a man's name. The least you can do is
help me.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
It's as much your fault as it is mine my fault.

Speaker 11 (18:58):
And how do you think of that?

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Well, you know how I depend on you? To remember
things for me. Your memory is so fine. That's why
my memory isn't too good anymore.

Speaker 4 (19:08):
I don't know how does that follow?

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Well, before we were married, I had a wonderful memory,
But after we got married, I figured your memory was
so good I wouldn't need mine anymore.

Speaker 4 (19:19):
I don't see how I can be of any hill.
He hasn't given me anything.

Speaker 8 (19:24):
To go on.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
It's not my fault.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
He just happens to be about average height and average weight,
sort of an average looking fellow.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Why don't you stack to get just maybe you'll think.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Of it later on? Seems so unfair. Somewhere in this town,
an average man and his wife are expecting us for dinner.
I just picture the poor guy sitting there wondering. He
says to his wife, what happened to us? Looks over
at her, and he shrugs his shoulders. She's a medium building,

(19:58):
about average height.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
Does that help you on? Need the description of her?

Speaker 2 (20:04):
How do you know what she looks like?

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Well? It follows, doesn't it that an average man with
an average name would be married to an average girl?

Speaker 3 (20:11):
A shame?

Speaker 1 (20:13):
There they sit in their average little.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
Home are they're one and a half children?

Speaker 3 (20:21):
One and a half.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
Yeah, that's the average family, one and a half children.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Wait then I remember something else. He mentioned two friends,
Tom and Dick.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
What happened to Harry?

Speaker 1 (20:41):
He's back in.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
That's all I see.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
This is terrible. An average man and his average wife
sitting waiting somewhere, the average food growing cold on their
average tape, average man, an average name.

Speaker 3 (21:13):
Brown. It's in the middle of.

Speaker 6 (21:18):
This block.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Block blink, blue bleep.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Ozzi is justph ahead.

Speaker 6 (21:31):
Head Head Kilroy, doctor Kildare, doctor Gillespie.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Doctor Barrymore, just a little father, father, father, Crosby.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
Ozzy.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
We're going to the Jones. Think of the Joneses for
Justin Jones.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Harriet, Please, I'm trying to think of an average name.

Speaker 9 (22:05):
Oh this is where we stopped.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Oh why didn't you say so?

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Oh what a cute little house house.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
It's a pretty average name.

Speaker 8 (22:15):
He has lots of homes, habits, homes, homes, Burton, Holmes, Burton.

Speaker 7 (22:24):
Button Back, Driston and Osburn.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
Come on, Belle, hell Harry, Hello.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Famila, we finally made it.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
This is Ozzy.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Come on in.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
I'm sorry, I'm favorite a little late.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
As matter of fact, Harriet, it really doesn't matter.

Speaker 9 (22:43):
There's another couple coming for dinner, but they haven't shown
up yet.

Speaker 4 (22:46):
Oh, anybody we know? No, I don't think there's some
friend of my husband's Maddy met at the bowling club.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
Bowling club. Maybe I know him.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Now, this is the ridiculous part.

Speaker 8 (22:58):
My husband doesn't even remember.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Mommy talks about the man.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Is that he's average.

Speaker 4 (23:03):
Height, average way, average day. Can you imagine anything so silly? Yes,
as a matter of fact, I can have.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
Somebody come in Famila.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
Oh, yes, he and.

Speaker 5 (23:15):
Nelsons are here.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
This is my husband.

Speaker 8 (23:18):
Hello, Well Jonesy, why Nelly?

Speaker 4 (23:28):
I was killing the Nelsons sorry when you came in, Oliver, Oliver,
Well that's a twist, now, my.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Old friend, Oliver, you're interrupting Ozzie and Ozzy whole town.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
You two know each other?

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Why of course we know each other.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
Why do you think they hit for dinner?

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Because I invited them, You invited them.

Speaker 8 (23:46):
I invited Ozzie today, you invited them.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
This is all very easily explained, isn't it, Harriet.

Speaker 8 (23:54):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Let's hear you do it.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
Well, Oliver.

Speaker 1 (24:04):
You see you invited us for dinner tonight, and your
your wife invited us for dinner, and when we found
out we'd both been invited to the same house, we
left and left. It was the funniest thing we'd ever heard.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Marvelous riot.

Speaker 4 (24:23):
You mean Ozzie is the man whose name you couldn't remember?

Speaker 6 (24:27):
What's this?

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Oh, Pamela, why did you have to tell on me? Well,
tell you the truth, Assie, I didn't.

Speaker 8 (24:32):
Remember your name.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Was so embarrassing to you knew me.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
So well, and we've been introduced me to your neighbor. Mister.
I wondered if you knew who I was.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Oh, I recognized you immediately, but I just couldn't place
your name. I hope you aren't offended. Why don't we
just forget the whole thing? Some of us remember and
and some of you don't.

Speaker 9 (24:56):
Oh, poor Oliver, he's always forgetting people's names.

Speaker 2 (24:59):
That I She never does that, does he?

Speaker 4 (25:01):
Harriet?

Speaker 8 (25:04):
Ozzie's got a wonderful memory.

Speaker 4 (25:07):
What was the name of that dress shop we saw
coming over here?

Speaker 3 (25:10):
A dress shop? Marshall's.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Wasn't that the name?

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yes, Marshall's.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
And remember that dress in the window you said you
were going to buy it for me? I did you
should remember?

Speaker 6 (25:22):
Well?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
I guess if I don't. Well, this is blackmail.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
And there was an alligator bag just made for that dress.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yes, I remember saying you could have that too.

Speaker 9 (25:32):
You can bring your things and hear her.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
I'll be right there. Ay, your wife's very attractive, Ozzie.
Is she from around here originally?

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Oh? No, she has descended from a very well known
Midwestern family. Perhaps you've heard of them, the James Boys, Jesse.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Well, now, what are you know?

Speaker 5 (26:02):
If I can just keep the conversation kind of general,
maybe it's.

Speaker 11 (26:06):
Quite a situation, mister Smith. And you know, it reminds
me of the new clerk from the silverware store whom
I met yesterday on the street, or.

Speaker 5 (26:13):
Another victim of confusion.

Speaker 11 (26:14):
Decidedly he thought I was somebody else entirely, but he
seemed to be sure of one thing that both I
and the woman he thought I was had just recently
bought a set of International Sterlings.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
He even named the pattern it was Prelude.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
And he was right too, at least about me.

Speaker 5 (26:29):
And about the other woman too, I'll bet, because you know,
Prelude is one of International Sterling's best love designs, and.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
Not without reason either.

Speaker 5 (26:37):
Prelude is a love story translated into gleaming solid silver
by the famous International Sterling silver Smith's complete.

Speaker 11 (26:45):
To the delicate flowers that look like a bright bouquet
on the chip of the handle. Prelude is perfect for me, mister.

Speaker 5 (26:50):
Smith, say, did you notice how perfect the price of
Prelude is?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
By any chance?

Speaker 4 (26:54):
Did I?

Speaker 11 (26:55):
When I save just about twenty dollars by getting eight
place settings of International Star Sling Prelude pattern rather than
some other sterling?

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Uh huh.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
International Sterling gives you real value for your money. Its
prices haven't gone up in five years, and every piece
reveals the quality and craftsmanship that have made the name
International famous for generations.

Speaker 11 (27:16):
Could you ask for.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Anything better than that?

Speaker 5 (27:18):
The answer to that is no, So see International Sterling tomorrow,
won't you?

Speaker 3 (27:22):
Folks?

Speaker 5 (27:23):
It's the solid silver with beauty that lives forever. And
by the way, there's a very interesting article and some
color pictures of the entire Nelson family in the March
issue of Radio Stars and Television Magazine.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Aren't you ashamed of yourself telling those FIBs tonight?

Speaker 2 (27:45):
I just told that one little one.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
You told two, one about the dress and the other
about the alligator bag.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Oh those I.

Speaker 4 (27:52):
Was figuring you bail me out of those, you see,
if you really do buy me the dressing bag, then
I was telling the truth retroactively. Is that the right word.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
It seems to be doing the job. What said did
you have in.

Speaker 4 (28:07):
Mind someone right? I said, you don't forget names?

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Well, I don't usually.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
Oh, Ozzie, there's one girlfriend of mine you've known for
five years. Part of the time you call her Julie,
and the rest of the time you call her Judy.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
What is her name?

Speaker 4 (28:19):
Mary Peterson? Good night, Martha, Good night, George.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
Going the next week to another adventure of Ouzie and
Harriet Storring. Ouzie Nelson and Harriet who here.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Remember told silver with duty that lives forever is international Scirley.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yes, Harriet, the solid silver with beauty that lives forever
is international Scairling.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
This is Burns Math speaking.

Speaker 5 (28:45):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.