October 17, 2024 • 28 mins
Please enjoy The Nelson Bank a great episode of the legendary Ozzie and Harriet - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Oh, for goodness, story, what's the matter?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
All these short stories without any indies drive me crazy.
Here's one where a mysterious voice keeps calling a fellow.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
On the telephone. You never do find out who it is.
Oh are you sure you finished the story? Oh sure?
Speaker 4 (00:20):
I even turned the page like a big dope.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Oh. Here, read this, you're like it. It's a complete
story in one sentence, and every word is true.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
America's Sinus Silver Plate is eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers.
Speaker 6 (00:35):
Wo America's Minus Silver Blade is eighteen forty seven Rogers
(00:56):
Brothers from Hollywood International Silver Company, creators.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Of eighteen forty seven.
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Rody's Brother's Silver Plate presents the adventures of Ozzy and Harriet,
starring America's favorite young couple.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Ozzie Knows Lennon, Harriet Hilliar's.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
I wonder if Ozzie and Harriet have been playing Hide
the Button.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
There they are in the living room.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Harriet opens the desktop, closes it. Ozzy scratches his head.
Harriet opens the big bottom drawer, closes it. Ozzie scratches
his head. Whatever she's looking for, it isn't in there.
(01:53):
Oh she's headed for the dining room. Ozzie's right behind her.
Now she's searching the china clanget.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Not there, huh, doesn't seem to be. How about behind
the serving trade No, I don't think so. It's got
to be someplace. Have you looked inside the buffet?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
No, not yet.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Might just be in here any luck, No, darnas. I
wish we could find it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
A lie, I'll probably remember where I put it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Thanks very much for helping me. Look, no, it's no
trouble at all.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know what I'm looking for.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I haven't the slightest idea. I think it might help
if you didn't know. Well, it might, but don't tell me.
I like surprises.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Wait a minute, I think it's starting to come back
to me.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Oh you may as well tell me what did you lose?
Don't interrupt me. The kitchen. Oh Harry, you haven't gone
and lost the kitchen again.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I remember now I was in the kitchen. Come on,
I'm right behind you.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Signal if you're going to stop. Suddenly. You still haven't
told me.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
What You've lost five dollars and I haven't lost it.
See if Jeer I left it.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Wait a minute, you mean this is a regular thing
with you hiding money in the teapot?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
What's wrong with that? Besides, I don't always put it
in the teapot. Sometimes I use the sugar bowl, or
if they're nice new bills, I sometimes hied them in
the encyclopedia or the dictionary.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
What are you laughing at all? The female conception of
money matters is just such an amazing thing. What's wrong
with it? Hey, it's okay with me, just as long
as women don't go into the banking business.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Who says they aren't.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Well, it's common knowledge. All the big bankers are men.
Oh who handles your paycheck every week? You do? What's
that got to do with it? Well?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Look what your big bankers are married to women?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Naturally they're married to women. What other choice has a
man got?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh, now, don't give me that masculine superior priority stuff. Now,
it's just like my grandmother used to say, if there
were no women in the world, you'd have nobody to
sew the buttons on your pants.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Sure, my grandfather used to say, if there were no
women in the world, we wouldn't have to wear any pants.
I know.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
A wonderful way to stop the discussion, solve my problem.
Since manners are good at handling money, why don't you
take care of my five dollars for me?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Do you think I'll relieve your mind any I'll be
glad to okay here, y are dear?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
That's a big burden off my mind. Tonight I can
go to.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Sleep knowing my money is in the capable hands.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Of First National Nelson, the rock of Rogers Roads.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
We got two dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Mister Randolph gave it to us just for cleaning out
of his garage. Let's see it.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
It good for you a dollar piece.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
What are you going to do with it? Nothing foolish, now,
I hope?
Speaker 7 (04:51):
Who No, I'm my ice cream with mine.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Ice scream a whole dollar's worth.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Oh sure, I like ice cream.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Oh I like ice cream, which you can't eat a
whole dollar's worth. That's kind of silly. That's his idea, Pop,
I'd like to put our money together and get a
three dollar baseball. Well, baseball is certainly a better choice
than ice.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Cream, especially if you're gonna hit it with a bat.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I mean, if David is on the right track, he
figures on using his money sensibly getting the most out
of it. You take your two dollars and buy a
three dollar baseball. Just how do you do that, David?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I was figuring maybe you'd give us the other dollar.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Face.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I'll get most first.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Now, wait a minute, boys, it seems to me this
whole family needs a little lesson on the value of money.
You want a three dollar baseball, but all you have
is two dollars. Did it ever occur to you you
might save up for it. Why don't we borrow from
you and pay it back? I think you get much
more satisfaction out of saving it first. Now, your mother
was faced with a similar situation a little while ago.
(05:51):
She found an excellent solution. How are you tell the
boys about that idea you.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Came up with.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I'm letting your father take care of my money.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Hoop hoop.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You guys say that you think I make weekly trips
to Mexico with a briefcase. Gosh, if we want to
say it, can't we just put it in our cigar box?
Speaker 6 (06:09):
Cigar box?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
How safe is that?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Nobody ever took any of the beetles we had in it.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Money's a different thing. Look at it this way, boys,
I'll be your bank. I'll keep your two dollars and
from time to time you'll company with more money, maybe
only nickels and dimes, but your two dollars will grow
pretty soon you'll have three dollars and four dollars, five six,
so on that. That does that seem pretty good?
Speaker 6 (06:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:34):
Only one?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know, how does anybody ever get a baseball? Alright? Ollo, Darnie.
I want to ask you something purely out of curiosity,
just to confirm a statement I made you. What is
it do if you were a burglar and you just
(06:54):
entered a house, what would be the first thing you'd
head for?
Speaker 6 (06:57):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You've been a burglar longer than I have.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Probably the teeth pot, or the sugar bowl, or a
cigar box. I just had a little discussion with Harriet
about the silly places women hide their money.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
That may be ours. As for myself, I've got the
best place in.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
The world to hide money.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh where's that?
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Promise?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Not to tell? Of course, I promise brought your heart?
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Cross my heart?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Where do you hide your money in my wife's purse?
You consider that a safe place? Absolutely? Do you think
it's burglar proof?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, I've never been able.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
To get anything out of it. Well, maybe Catherine's different.
I seem to be the only one with any sense
of financial responsibility at our house. See, Harriet and the
boys gave me seven dollars just a little while ago.
Or for well, I'm their bank, so to speak. See,
I'm holding onto their money for it.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
See that's an idea. Maybe you can help me.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
What's on your mind?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Well, you see, I've got ten dollars that's been burning
a hole in my pocket.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I've been keeping it to buy Catherine a birthday present.
You want me to take care of.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It for you?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
Would you mind?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
I otherwise?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I know, Well, when Catherine's birthday comes, the money.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
Of be gone.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
When is her birthday?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Well it's not very far off.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But frankly, I'm not so good at holding out of money.
When is her birthday tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You are odd? I sure do appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Say wait a minute, where did you get this ten dollars?
You didn't hold out on Katherine because I don't want
any hot money in my bank. It's certainly not us.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
As I said, all the money goes right into Catherine's purse.
This little fellow just wouldn't get in there.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You've changed clothes yes.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I just felt like a dark blue pins drive today.
Oh did I tell you Thorny gave me ten dollars
to keep one? That makes seventeen altogether.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So you're becoming quite a banker's.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Oh, I'll see what it is, miss Nelson. Oh hello, Edgar,
I'm quits for the paper, Miss Nelson A dollar three?
All right, sir, I think we have the necessary assets
to finalize this transaction.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
What's that?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
That's bank talk? Andrew In mhm sworn, I put I
put in my arm. Let's see on these monks have
lost my money.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Is a man down the street, he never pays.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Me change suits. I remember taking the money out of
the pocket of the other trousers my coat. It's the
strangest thing I ever heard of.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
A man's down the street never pays me what his
wife does.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He looks through these pockets again.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
His wife says she gives them the money, but he
spends it.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Sometimes he make believes he lost it.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Put the money out of the other pants.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Could I speak to missus Nelson, please.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Them on the chair, missus Nelson, Edgar, there's no need
of dragging missus Nelson. Could you come back tomorrow, please?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Old Edrew, if you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Please come back tomorrow, I promise you I'll give you
your money. No, Edgar, come back tomorrow, missus Nelson's visits.
This is nels Edgar. Get your foot out of the
door and I'll come back tomorrow. That's a good boy.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Goodbye, Edgar.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Downstairs, I want to not dying.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, Harry, what are you looking for? Have you seen
my little gold collar pin?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (10:29):
You have it on?
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh so I do.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Now what are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Have you seen that pair of black shoelaces I bought
the other day?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yes, you're upstairs on your brown shoes, just out of
the kitchen.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What in the world are you looking for? I'm just looking,
that's all. Looking is a wonderful way to find things,
you see, even if you're not looking for anything in particular,
sooner or lady, you'll find something. For instance, if I
were looking for money, which of course is ridiculous, but
if I were looking for money, yeah, i'd look in
here it goes the leap. Put in my hand. Ohzi,
(11:08):
fine thing. You put your hand in the teapot and
get money.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
I get hot tea.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
Hey, aren't you glad you don't have your money in
the Nelson National Bank. Sure you are, because now you
wouldn't know where it was, and you couldn't go downtown
tomorrow and get in on the most wonderful thing that's
happened in eight years. You know what that is. Well,
listen right now. For the first time in eight years,
you can get open stock pieces in every one of
the four lovely patterns created by famous eighteen forty seven
(11:50):
Rogers Brothers. And what's more, you can get them at
the same prices you paid for open stock pieces in
nineteen forty one. Now that's really news, wonderful news. It
means you can make your beautiful set of eighteen forty
seven Rogers Brother's silver plate just as complete as you
want it, with extra spoons, extra forks, every piece you'd
like to have.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Maybe what you want.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
Is eighteen forty seven's new completing set. The completing set
holds eight butter spreaders, eight ice drink spoons, and eight
oyster forks.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
It comes in.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
All four patterns Adoration Eternally, Yours first, Love and Remembrance,
and the price is only twenty six dollars. So see
it tomorrow, Yes, tomorrow, complete your set of eighteen forty
seven Rogers Brothers the finest silver.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Plate in America.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Why there's been a.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Mysterious disappearance of seventeen dollars at eighteen forty seven Rogers Rose.
Attention all law enforcement agencies. This seventeen dollars must be recovered.
Call all national and international ap alright is come in betteral.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Of your own investigation rebarding.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Don't cruise on Nelson gets yet Brown Washington Office.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
BA volpa and fromacion regard miss your next on cabar
latum a two lata.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
U la fernasa petrila uscu pari.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
R dem and reporting no trace of Nelson money. We're
still searching. This is reed boy, counterspy and child actors.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
That is all.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Hello, Hello, here's Felina stazion house'm nesson cass jsain amricaa
in uncle in America, give it Johann Mulla al vida a.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
In the living room room of eighteen forty seven Roches Road.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
The search goes on.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Not under there maybe the Devin for hi po o
oh boys, Uh did you guys want something special? Well? Yeah, pop,
remember today we gave you our money to keep for us. Well,
of course I remember and I hope you guys realize
the responsibility I've assumed handling your money.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Is quite a load, quite a load.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We well, do you tell him Ricky we like you
and load you.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
We like our money back.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Now, please, boys, sit down on the couch for a minute.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
Pop, please pop.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Don't talk us out of us.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
There's soiling those Facebook for two dollars.
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Now, we don't have to.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Wait just a minute, fellows. Now, let's be sensible about this.
As an investor, you have every right to ask for
your money. I simply want to point out a few things.
I believe me. I have no intention of keeping your money.
If you really want it, can't we have it?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
But look at it this way. Why don't you draw
on my experience with shrewd management on my part, it's
very possible you can double your money, even triple it.
Perhaps we can make a few investments and quadruple it,
make a lot of money. Why don't we buy our
baseball today?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then maybe some other time we can make a lot
of money.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Boys, I may as well tell the truth. After all,
is my investors, I owe it to you. The reason
I don't want you to withdraw your money is because
you'll buy that baseball, won't you? That was our idea. Well,
after all, i'm your father. Why can't I buy you
a baseball? In fact, I've been considering it for some time. Now,
(15:44):
who get that swell? I thought that'd satisfied you. See,
I'm not trying to hold your money back. As long
as we got our baseball.
Speaker 7 (15:50):
Now we can spend our money for.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
A bath.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
A back.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I wish you wouldn't, David, I'm buying you a bat too.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Now I can buy catches me.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
No, no, no, let me buy you a catcher's n
do we have?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
This isn't Christmas? Nice skate wring the alarm? Somebody they're
robbing the bag could have been kicked out of the bookcase.
A gotta be someplace. Come on in, Tharney. Well, hello man,
(16:33):
Nick boy, nice fella, nice doggie?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Oh where are you?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nice dog? Tharney stopped patting me on the head.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Why it Zi, I didn't recognize you. Don an all ball,
I wondered why Nick was all dressed up though?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Anything specially you want, Tharney, I'm pretty busy for those.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
This is the only take a second.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I'd like to have my money back.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Tharney, sit down. I want to have a talk with you.
I cared os the guy waiting on my punch with
the seal be back. Oh, let him wait, But I
cad do. It's Catherine's birthday present.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Please do let me have it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Now, as I understand this, Thorny, you're hinting you want
your money back. Come on, the guy's waiting, Thorny, look
at it this way. Your bank isn't merely to deposit
money and then snatch it right back again. Why don't
you also take advantage of my friendly counsel and advice
on money matters? Now? How long ago did you order
(17:28):
this package? About an hour ago? An hour ago? And
they're sending it out already? Boy? Are they sure? Are
anxious to get rid of it? Probably jump, they can't
move off the shelves. Now, you see how lucky you
are you came to me for my financial advice. Os.
Please you just better think it over, Thorny, come back tomorrow.
S'll want your ten dollars. I'll be very happy to
get us.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Will you please give me my money before the.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Guy goes away? Now, Thorny, just a second, Tharny, what's matter?
Gosh Thorny, old man, old pal. I'd like to give
it to you, but you know regulations, well, of regulations.
I want my money, Tony, Tony, wait, sorry, Thorny. All
(18:16):
banks close at three o'clock.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Am. What is it, David? We want to let you
in on something.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Oh that's nice.
Speaker 6 (18:29):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well, just go to Pop and tell him you want
your money back, and boy, you get all sorts of things.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
We're right out of lives.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
First, we could have gotten more boys.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm afraid you've been.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Taking advantage of your father's misfortune. Now I'm going to
let you in on something.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
It'd have to be awful good to be better than ours.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Well, your father's a very capable man. He's always careful
with money, and he probably.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Had a good reason for leaving it in the middle
of the living room floor. I say a little trick
on him. You mean you've got our money? Well, I
don't have it, but I know where it is. I
don't tell now.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
I hit it in the telephone book.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Are you playing a joke on top?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
That's the idea, Ricky. Tonight and dinner we'll all laugh
about it, will Pop laugh? We may not hear it,
but deep down inside of him.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
He'll be raring.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yes, Hello, I got your new phone books for you.
Oh fine, thanks, there's a hitch to the deal. Lord,
you got to give me your old one. Oh sure,
you got to take it. I'll be right back. You
just hum a little sing gore.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
Well here you are.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh okay, I got him. Hey, you're not a bad dude. Love.
You've got some pretty good stuff here on the cor
I just draw those little pictures while I'm talking. Any
numbers on the cover you want to copy for I
take thee No, no, I don't think so. Just you
didn't leave anything in the books? Oh no, no, they're
just a couple of doodles here and there.
Speaker 5 (20:07):
But you're welcome to them.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
You'd be surprised the things some people leaven phone books.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
My partner Steve found two football tickets last year. Found
a phone number on the cover too. He called the
rock and took it to the game. Well, see about
next dog, it's along. Goodbye hit your doodles though, one Harriet, Harriet, Yes, dear,
(20:35):
I have.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
A surprise for you.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Look, brand new phone books, new phone books.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
What about the old one?
Speaker 6 (20:41):
Old?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Well, the men took them away right now. They're being
chopped into little pieces, then they go into the incinerator.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
It's the matter.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
What are you so excited about?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Oh this is terrible.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I was trying to play a silly little chick on you,
and I did.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
A ridiculous thing.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Don't say anything more. Let me tell you. You found
the seventeen dollars I lost, and you put it in
the phone book.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yes, dear, how did you know?
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Because that's where I found it?
Speaker 6 (21:10):
How you found it?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oo? Guards I found it. I suppose you think I'm
so dumb that I don't know what goes on around here.
Suppose you thought I was going to get worried. I
know you picked up the money, and I knew you
put it in the phone book. How did you know? Well?
I found it in there while I was looking up
the number of a loan company.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I guess you, in, dear, that's the last time I'll
ever try to fool my husband.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
You're just too smart for me.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I wouldn't have found it if you hadn't filed it
so cleverly putting it there on the page. You had
the finance companies connecting financing money. That's pretty smart. Oh no,
you're mistaken I.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Didn't put it in the classified book.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I put it in the Green book under Doe, John Doe.
Well you couldn't have it was in the yellow book.
I've got the money right here. See seventeen dollars, A ten,
A five of twenty and three womans, seventeen dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
No, thirty eight dollars? Who put that in there?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Oh, Harriet, stop it. It's so obvious you're playing one
of your little jokes on me.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Honestly, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
My little joke is not being chopped.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Up in the little pieces.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Yeah, holy smokes, And we're out seventeen dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
No, we're in twenty one dollars.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Oh yeah, he drew a voice down, Harriet. This is miraculous.
Money is springing up from nowhere.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Well, there's only one possible explanation. At some time or
another one of us put thirty eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
In the phone book and forgot about it.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But that seems so unlikely. I've got it.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Hello, is this mister Nelson.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Of eighteen forty seven Rogers Row. Yes, I looked up
your number.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I'm the fellow who picked up your phone books today.
Oh I'm glad you called. Did you find, mister Elsie, Yeah,
we found it. I knew you should have looked through
those books, h Harriet. They found our seventeen dollars. Well,
I certainly appreciate your honest So I got to write him,
miss anounce the ten to two five fall ones in
the twenty forty dollars. We'll mail it out here.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
I guess you'll be able to sleep now sleep well.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
The money is just starting to come in. They found
our seventeen dollars. All, they found our forty four dollars.
The seventeen dollars hasn't shown up yet.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh ah, so this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
There must be some sensible explanation.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
That's ale. We don't have time to think of one.
Get your coat. Let's hear where were going to buy
all the phone books we can find. We're going into
the banking.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Business, Ozzie and Harriet, we'll be banking.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Tessamon say, I guess there must be money in telephone books.
Maybe I better look through mind.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Well, I've been keeping my extra pennies in a teapot,
just the way Harriet did. Yes, But tomorrow morning, first thing,
they're going right down Roger's Road to mister john Silverware Store.
I'm going to turn them into extra open stock pieces
from my set of eighteen forty seven Rocheres Brothers.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Hey, isn't that something?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Though?
Speaker 6 (24:07):
Open stock pieces of eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers are
again available for the first time in eight years.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
And what I want is that new eighteen forty seven
Rogers Brother's completing set with those eight butter spreaders, eight
ice stringspoons and eight oysterports.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
Oh that's a wonderful set. And it comes in all
four eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers patterns two and it
costs only twenty six dollars. But of course you don't
have to stop there. You know you can get all
the other extra open stock pieces you want, and at
nineteen forty one prices too.
Speaker 7 (24:38):
Mister Smith, do you suppose every woman who owns eighteen
forty seven has heard about this wonderful.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
News, Well let's tell them again.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Attention everybody.
Speaker 6 (24:46):
You can now get open stock pieces of eighteen forty
seven Rogers.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Brothers in all four lovely eighteen forty seven patterns for
the first time in eight years.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
That's eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers. The finest silver plate
in America.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
All right, are you awake?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
Of course I'm awake, so am I Have you tried
counting sheep?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh, I've counted hundreds of them, little green ones, then
the little yellow classifieds. I finally figured out where the
money came from.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Well, please tell me.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Well it it's really so simple. See, there was thirty
eight dollars in one book, forty four in the other book.
That makes eighty two dollars. There was originally only seventeen dollars.
That's a difference of sixty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
David and Ricky got sixty five dollars and played a
little trick on us. It was all a joke. Well,
this is.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Exactly what happened, OZI, Harriet.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I know the question that leads into your mind. Where
did David and Ricky get sixty five dollars? Don't ask it.
It's four o'clock and we've got.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
To get some sleep.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You mean to say, we're going to say good night
without explaining all this money.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Don't be so naive. Don't you ever listen to the radio.
Nothing under twenty five thousand dollars needs any explanation. At
least this is a happy ending. It's not can goods
and things.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I hate to say this, Jar, but I'm a little
disappointed in you.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
You mean to say you want everything that happens to
us completely explained and solved. Yes, don't be so corny.
We're living in a modern age, the age of the
unfinished short story. You said so yourself. But I don't
like those.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They leave a hanging in the air.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I like to turn the page and find an ending there.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I like everything explain.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, I'll explain where the money came from. You see,
David and Ricky wanted their money back to buy a baseball,
so when I found it in the phone book, I
gave it to them. But they changed their minds and
saw something else in the store they liked better, and
they bought that instead.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
How does that explain the money.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
I'm afraid our son David has inherited a peculiar artistic talent,
especially pictures of Lincoln and Washington. Probably got it from
some member of your family you've never even told me about. Anyway,
the printing press goes back tomorrow morning. Mar You see,
(27:49):
they bought the printing press. They made counterfeit money.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I yes, I'm sorry, I turned.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
The cage do.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
And then again next week to another adventor of Ozzie
and Harriet, starring Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hiers.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I remember and there God Sinus silver Plates eighteen forty
seven Rogers brother.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yes, Harriet, America's Spinus silver plate is eighteen forty seven
Rogers Brothers.
Speaker 6 (28:18):
Appearing in support of Ozzie and Harriet were John Brown,
Tommy Bernard, Henry Blair, Hans Conried.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
And Alan Reid Junior.
Speaker 6 (28:25):
The original music was composed.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
And conducted by Billy May. You know you've got to
hand it to the doctors.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They've taken on the toughest opposition.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
They could find heart disease America's number one cause of death,
and they need your help books to carry on their
research and other efforts to combat heart disease. So contribute
all you can to the American Heart Association, Box five hundred,
New York City.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
This is Burnsmith speaking.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
Oh, for goodness, story, what's the matter?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
All these short stories without any indies drive me crazy.
Here's one where a mysterious voice keeps calling a fellow.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
On the telephone. You never do find out who it is.
Oh are you sure you finished the story? Oh sure?
Speaker 4 (00:20):
I even turned the page like a big dope.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Oh. Here, read this, you're like it. It's a complete
story in one sentence, and every word is true.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
America's Sinus Silver Plate is eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers.
Speaker 6 (00:35):
Wo America's Minus Silver Blade is eighteen forty seven Rogers
(00:56):
Brothers from Hollywood International Silver Company, creators.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Of eighteen forty seven.
Speaker 6 (01:00):
Rody's Brother's Silver Plate presents the adventures of Ozzy and Harriet,
starring America's favorite young couple.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Ozzie Knows Lennon, Harriet Hilliar's.
Speaker 6 (01:25):
I wonder if Ozzie and Harriet have been playing Hide
the Button.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
There they are in the living room.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Harriet opens the desktop, closes it. Ozzy scratches his head.
Harriet opens the big bottom drawer, closes it. Ozzie scratches
his head. Whatever she's looking for, it isn't in there.
(01:53):
Oh she's headed for the dining room. Ozzie's right behind her.
Now she's searching the china clanget.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Not there, huh, doesn't seem to be. How about behind
the serving trade No, I don't think so. It's got
to be someplace. Have you looked inside the buffet?
Speaker 4 (02:14):
No, not yet.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Might just be in here any luck, No, darnas. I
wish we could find it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
A lie, I'll probably remember where I put it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Thanks very much for helping me. Look, no, it's no
trouble at all.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
You know what I'm looking for.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I haven't the slightest idea. I think it might help
if you didn't know. Well, it might, but don't tell me.
I like surprises.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Wait a minute, I think it's starting to come back
to me.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Oh you may as well tell me what did you lose?
Don't interrupt me. The kitchen. Oh Harry, you haven't gone
and lost the kitchen again.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I remember now I was in the kitchen. Come on,
I'm right behind you.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Signal if you're going to stop. Suddenly. You still haven't
told me.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
What You've lost five dollars and I haven't lost it.
See if Jeer I left it.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Wait a minute, you mean this is a regular thing
with you hiding money in the teapot?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
What's wrong with that? Besides, I don't always put it
in the teapot. Sometimes I use the sugar bowl, or
if they're nice new bills, I sometimes hied them in
the encyclopedia or the dictionary.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
What are you laughing at all? The female conception of
money matters is just such an amazing thing. What's wrong
with it? Hey, it's okay with me, just as long
as women don't go into the banking business.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Who says they aren't.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Well, it's common knowledge. All the big bankers are men.
Oh who handles your paycheck every week? You do? What's
that got to do with it? Well?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Look what your big bankers are married to women?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Naturally they're married to women. What other choice has a
man got?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh, now, don't give me that masculine superior priority stuff. Now,
it's just like my grandmother used to say, if there
were no women in the world, you'd have nobody to
sew the buttons on your pants.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Sure, my grandfather used to say, if there were no
women in the world, we wouldn't have to wear any pants.
I know.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
A wonderful way to stop the discussion, solve my problem.
Since manners are good at handling money, why don't you
take care of my five dollars for me?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Do you think I'll relieve your mind any I'll be
glad to okay here, y are dear?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
That's a big burden off my mind. Tonight I can
go to.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Sleep knowing my money is in the capable hands.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Of First National Nelson, the rock of Rogers Roads.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
We got two dollars.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Mister Randolph gave it to us just for cleaning out
of his garage. Let's see it.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
It good for you a dollar piece.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
What are you going to do with it? Nothing foolish, now,
I hope?
Speaker 7 (04:51):
Who No, I'm my ice cream with mine.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Ice scream a whole dollar's worth.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Oh sure, I like ice cream.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Oh I like ice cream, which you can't eat a
whole dollar's worth. That's kind of silly. That's his idea, Pop,
I'd like to put our money together and get a
three dollar baseball. Well, baseball is certainly a better choice
than ice.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Cream, especially if you're gonna hit it with a bat.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I mean, if David is on the right track, he
figures on using his money sensibly getting the most out
of it. You take your two dollars and buy a
three dollar baseball. Just how do you do that, David?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I was figuring maybe you'd give us the other dollar.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Face.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I'll get most first.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Now, wait a minute, boys, it seems to me this
whole family needs a little lesson on the value of money.
You want a three dollar baseball, but all you have
is two dollars. Did it ever occur to you you
might save up for it. Why don't we borrow from
you and pay it back? I think you get much
more satisfaction out of saving it first. Now, your mother
was faced with a similar situation a little while ago.
(05:51):
She found an excellent solution. How are you tell the
boys about that idea you.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Came up with.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I'm letting your father take care of my money.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Hoop hoop.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
You guys say that you think I make weekly trips
to Mexico with a briefcase. Gosh, if we want to
say it, can't we just put it in our cigar box?
Speaker 6 (06:09):
Cigar box?
Speaker 3 (06:10):
How safe is that?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Nobody ever took any of the beetles we had in it.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Money's a different thing. Look at it this way, boys,
I'll be your bank. I'll keep your two dollars and
from time to time you'll company with more money, maybe
only nickels and dimes, but your two dollars will grow
pretty soon you'll have three dollars and four dollars, five six,
so on that. That does that seem pretty good?
Speaker 6 (06:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (06:34):
Only one?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know, how does anybody ever get a baseball? Alright? Ollo, Darnie.
I want to ask you something purely out of curiosity,
just to confirm a statement I made you. What is
it do if you were a burglar and you just
(06:54):
entered a house, what would be the first thing you'd
head for?
Speaker 6 (06:57):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You've been a burglar longer than I have.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Probably the teeth pot, or the sugar bowl, or a
cigar box. I just had a little discussion with Harriet
about the silly places women hide their money.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
That may be ours. As for myself, I've got the
best place in.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
The world to hide money.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh where's that?
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Promise?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Not to tell? Of course, I promise brought your heart?
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Cross my heart?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Where do you hide your money in my wife's purse?
You consider that a safe place? Absolutely? Do you think
it's burglar proof?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, I've never been able.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
To get anything out of it. Well, maybe Catherine's different.
I seem to be the only one with any sense
of financial responsibility at our house. See, Harriet and the
boys gave me seven dollars just a little while ago.
Or for well, I'm their bank, so to speak. See,
I'm holding onto their money for it.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
See that's an idea. Maybe you can help me.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
What's on your mind?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Well, you see, I've got ten dollars that's been burning
a hole in my pocket.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I've been keeping it to buy Catherine a birthday present.
You want me to take care of.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It for you?
Speaker 6 (07:58):
Would you mind?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
I otherwise?
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I know, Well, when Catherine's birthday comes, the money.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
Of be gone.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
When is her birthday?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Well it's not very far off.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But frankly, I'm not so good at holding out of money.
When is her birthday tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You are odd? I sure do appreciate it.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
I'm glad.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Say wait a minute, where did you get this ten dollars?
You didn't hold out on Katherine because I don't want
any hot money in my bank. It's certainly not us.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
As I said, all the money goes right into Catherine's purse.
This little fellow just wouldn't get in there.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You've changed clothes yes.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I just felt like a dark blue pins drive today.
Oh did I tell you Thorny gave me ten dollars
to keep one? That makes seventeen altogether.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So you're becoming quite a banker's.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Oh, I'll see what it is, miss Nelson. Oh hello, Edgar,
I'm quits for the paper, Miss Nelson A dollar three?
All right, sir, I think we have the necessary assets
to finalize this transaction.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
What's that?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
That's bank talk? Andrew In mhm sworn, I put I
put in my arm. Let's see on these monks have
lost my money.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Is a man down the street, he never pays.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Me change suits. I remember taking the money out of
the pocket of the other trousers my coat. It's the
strangest thing I ever heard of.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
A man's down the street never pays me what his
wife does.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He looks through these pockets again.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
His wife says she gives them the money, but he
spends it.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Sometimes he make believes he lost it.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Put the money out of the other pants.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Could I speak to missus Nelson, please.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Them on the chair, missus Nelson, Edgar, there's no need
of dragging missus Nelson. Could you come back tomorrow, please?
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Old Edrew, if you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Please come back tomorrow, I promise you I'll give you
your money. No, Edgar, come back tomorrow, missus Nelson's visits.
This is nels Edgar. Get your foot out of the
door and I'll come back tomorrow. That's a good boy.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Goodbye, Edgar.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Downstairs, I want to not dying.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
What are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, Harry, what are you looking for? Have you seen
my little gold collar pin?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (10:29):
You have it on?
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Oh so I do.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Now what are you looking for?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Have you seen that pair of black shoelaces I bought
the other day?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Yes, you're upstairs on your brown shoes, just out of
the kitchen.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What in the world are you looking for? I'm just looking,
that's all. Looking is a wonderful way to find things,
you see, even if you're not looking for anything in particular,
sooner or lady, you'll find something. For instance, if I
were looking for money, which of course is ridiculous, but
if I were looking for money, yeah, i'd look in
here it goes the leap. Put in my hand. Ohzi,
(11:08):
fine thing. You put your hand in the teapot and
get money.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
I get hot tea.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
Hey, aren't you glad you don't have your money in
the Nelson National Bank. Sure you are, because now you
wouldn't know where it was, and you couldn't go downtown
tomorrow and get in on the most wonderful thing that's
happened in eight years. You know what that is. Well,
listen right now. For the first time in eight years,
you can get open stock pieces in every one of
the four lovely patterns created by famous eighteen forty seven
(11:50):
Rogers Brothers. And what's more, you can get them at
the same prices you paid for open stock pieces in
nineteen forty one. Now that's really news, wonderful news. It
means you can make your beautiful set of eighteen forty
seven Rogers Brother's silver plate just as complete as you
want it, with extra spoons, extra forks, every piece you'd
like to have.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Maybe what you want.
Speaker 6 (12:12):
Is eighteen forty seven's new completing set. The completing set
holds eight butter spreaders, eight ice drink spoons, and eight
oyster forks.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
It comes in.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
All four patterns Adoration Eternally, Yours first, Love and Remembrance,
and the price is only twenty six dollars. So see
it tomorrow, Yes, tomorrow, complete your set of eighteen forty
seven Rogers Brothers the finest silver.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Plate in America.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Why there's been a.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Mysterious disappearance of seventeen dollars at eighteen forty seven Rogers Rose.
Attention all law enforcement agencies. This seventeen dollars must be recovered.
Call all national and international ap alright is come in betteral.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Of your own investigation rebarding.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Don't cruise on Nelson gets yet Brown Washington Office.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
BA volpa and fromacion regard miss your next on cabar
latum a two lata.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
U la fernasa petrila uscu pari.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
R dem and reporting no trace of Nelson money. We're
still searching. This is reed boy, counterspy and child actors.
Speaker 6 (13:38):
That is all.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Hello, Hello, here's Felina stazion house'm nesson cass jsain amricaa
in uncle in America, give it Johann Mulla al vida a.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
In the living room room of eighteen forty seven Roches Road.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
The search goes on.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Not under there maybe the Devin for hi po o
oh boys, Uh did you guys want something special? Well? Yeah, pop,
remember today we gave you our money to keep for us. Well,
of course I remember and I hope you guys realize
the responsibility I've assumed handling your money.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
Is quite a load, quite a load.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We well, do you tell him Ricky we like you
and load you.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
We like our money back.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Now, please, boys, sit down on the couch for a minute.
Speaker 6 (14:42):
Pop, please pop.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Don't talk us out of us.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
There's soiling those Facebook for two dollars.
Speaker 7 (14:47):
Now, we don't have to.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Wait just a minute, fellows. Now, let's be sensible about this.
As an investor, you have every right to ask for
your money. I simply want to point out a few things.
I believe me. I have no intention of keeping your money.
If you really want it, can't we have it?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
But look at it this way. Why don't you draw
on my experience with shrewd management on my part, it's
very possible you can double your money, even triple it.
Perhaps we can make a few investments and quadruple it,
make a lot of money. Why don't we buy our
baseball today?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then maybe some other time we can make a lot
of money.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Boys, I may as well tell the truth. After all,
is my investors, I owe it to you. The reason
I don't want you to withdraw your money is because
you'll buy that baseball, won't you? That was our idea. Well,
after all, i'm your father. Why can't I buy you
a baseball? In fact, I've been considering it for some time. Now,
(15:44):
who get that swell? I thought that'd satisfied you. See,
I'm not trying to hold your money back. As long
as we got our baseball.
Speaker 7 (15:50):
Now we can spend our money for.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
A bath.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
A back.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I wish you wouldn't, David, I'm buying you a bat too.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Now I can buy catches me.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
No, no, no, let me buy you a catcher's n
do we have?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (16:05):
This isn't Christmas? Nice skate wring the alarm? Somebody they're
robbing the bag could have been kicked out of the bookcase.
A gotta be someplace. Come on in, Tharney. Well, hello man,
(16:33):
Nick boy, nice fella, nice doggie?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Oh where are you?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nice dog? Tharney stopped patting me on the head.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Why it Zi, I didn't recognize you. Don an all ball,
I wondered why Nick was all dressed up though?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Anything specially you want, Tharney, I'm pretty busy for those.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
This is the only take a second.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I'd like to have my money back.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Tharney, sit down. I want to have a talk with you.
I cared os the guy waiting on my punch with
the seal be back. Oh, let him wait, But I
cad do. It's Catherine's birthday present.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Please do let me have it.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
Now, as I understand this, Thorny, you're hinting you want
your money back. Come on, the guy's waiting, Thorny, look
at it this way. Your bank isn't merely to deposit
money and then snatch it right back again. Why don't
you also take advantage of my friendly counsel and advice
on money matters? Now? How long ago did you order
(17:28):
this package? About an hour ago? An hour ago? And
they're sending it out already? Boy? Are they sure? Are
anxious to get rid of it? Probably jump, they can't
move off the shelves. Now, you see how lucky you
are you came to me for my financial advice. Os.
Please you just better think it over, Thorny, come back tomorrow.
S'll want your ten dollars. I'll be very happy to
get us.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Will you please give me my money before the.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Guy goes away? Now, Thorny, just a second, Tharny, what's matter?
Gosh Thorny, old man, old pal. I'd like to give
it to you, but you know regulations, well, of regulations.
I want my money, Tony, Tony, wait, sorry, Thorny. All
(18:16):
banks close at three o'clock.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Am. What is it, David? We want to let you
in on something.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Oh that's nice.
Speaker 6 (18:29):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well, just go to Pop and tell him you want
your money back, and boy, you get all sorts of things.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
We're right out of lives.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
First, we could have gotten more boys.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm afraid you've been.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Taking advantage of your father's misfortune. Now I'm going to
let you in on something.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
It'd have to be awful good to be better than ours.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Well, your father's a very capable man. He's always careful
with money, and he probably.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Had a good reason for leaving it in the middle
of the living room floor. I say a little trick
on him. You mean you've got our money? Well, I
don't have it, but I know where it is. I
don't tell now.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
I hit it in the telephone book.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Are you playing a joke on top?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
That's the idea, Ricky. Tonight and dinner we'll all laugh
about it, will Pop laugh? We may not hear it,
but deep down inside of him.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
He'll be raring.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Yes, Hello, I got your new phone books for you.
Oh fine, thanks, there's a hitch to the deal. Lord,
you got to give me your old one. Oh sure,
you got to take it. I'll be right back. You
just hum a little sing gore.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
Well here you are.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Oh okay, I got him. Hey, you're not a bad dude. Love.
You've got some pretty good stuff here on the cor
I just draw those little pictures while I'm talking. Any
numbers on the cover you want to copy for I
take thee No, no, I don't think so. Just you
didn't leave anything in the books? Oh no, no, they're
just a couple of doodles here and there.
Speaker 5 (20:07):
But you're welcome to them.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
You'd be surprised the things some people leaven phone books.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
You know.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
My partner Steve found two football tickets last year. Found
a phone number on the cover too. He called the
rock and took it to the game. Well, see about
next dog, it's along. Goodbye hit your doodles though, one Harriet, Harriet, Yes, dear,
(20:35):
I have.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
A surprise for you.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Look, brand new phone books, new phone books.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
What about the old one?
Speaker 6 (20:41):
Old?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Well, the men took them away right now. They're being
chopped into little pieces, then they go into the incinerator.
Speaker 5 (20:47):
It's the matter.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
What are you so excited about?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Oh this is terrible.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I was trying to play a silly little chick on you,
and I did.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
A ridiculous thing.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Don't say anything more. Let me tell you. You found
the seventeen dollars I lost, and you put it in
the phone book.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yes, dear, how did you know?
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Because that's where I found it?
Speaker 6 (21:10):
How you found it?
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Oo? Guards I found it. I suppose you think I'm
so dumb that I don't know what goes on around here.
Suppose you thought I was going to get worried. I
know you picked up the money, and I knew you
put it in the phone book. How did you know? Well?
I found it in there while I was looking up
the number of a loan company.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I guess you, in, dear, that's the last time I'll
ever try to fool my husband.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
You're just too smart for me.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
I wouldn't have found it if you hadn't filed it
so cleverly putting it there on the page. You had
the finance companies connecting financing money. That's pretty smart. Oh no,
you're mistaken I.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Didn't put it in the classified book.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I put it in the Green book under Doe, John Doe.
Well you couldn't have it was in the yellow book.
I've got the money right here. See seventeen dollars, A ten,
A five of twenty and three womans, seventeen dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
No, thirty eight dollars? Who put that in there?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Oh, Harriet, stop it. It's so obvious you're playing one
of your little jokes on me.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Honestly, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
My little joke is not being chopped.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Up in the little pieces.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
Yeah, holy smokes, And we're out seventeen dollars.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
No, we're in twenty one dollars.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Oh yeah, he drew a voice down, Harriet. This is miraculous.
Money is springing up from nowhere.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Well, there's only one possible explanation. At some time or
another one of us put thirty eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
In the phone book and forgot about it.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
But that seems so unlikely. I've got it.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Hello, is this mister Nelson.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Of eighteen forty seven Rogers Row. Yes, I looked up
your number.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I'm the fellow who picked up your phone books today.
Oh I'm glad you called. Did you find, mister Elsie, Yeah,
we found it. I knew you should have looked through
those books, h Harriet. They found our seventeen dollars. Well,
I certainly appreciate your honest So I got to write him,
miss anounce the ten to two five fall ones in
the twenty forty dollars. We'll mail it out here.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
I guess you'll be able to sleep now sleep well.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
The money is just starting to come in. They found
our seventeen dollars. All, they found our forty four dollars.
The seventeen dollars hasn't shown up yet.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh ah, so this is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
There must be some sensible explanation.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
That's ale. We don't have time to think of one.
Get your coat. Let's hear where were going to buy
all the phone books we can find. We're going into
the banking.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Business, Ozzie and Harriet, we'll be banking.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Tessamon say, I guess there must be money in telephone books.
Maybe I better look through mind.
Speaker 7 (23:52):
Well, I've been keeping my extra pennies in a teapot,
just the way Harriet did. Yes, But tomorrow morning, first thing,
they're going right down Roger's Road to mister john Silverware Store.
I'm going to turn them into extra open stock pieces
from my set of eighteen forty seven Rocheres Brothers.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Hey, isn't that something?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Though?
Speaker 6 (24:07):
Open stock pieces of eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers are
again available for the first time in eight years.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
And what I want is that new eighteen forty seven
Rogers Brother's completing set with those eight butter spreaders, eight
ice stringspoons and eight oysterports.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
Oh that's a wonderful set. And it comes in all
four eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers patterns two and it
costs only twenty six dollars. But of course you don't
have to stop there. You know you can get all
the other extra open stock pieces you want, and at
nineteen forty one prices too.
Speaker 7 (24:38):
Mister Smith, do you suppose every woman who owns eighteen
forty seven has heard about this wonderful.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
News, Well let's tell them again.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Attention everybody.
Speaker 6 (24:46):
You can now get open stock pieces of eighteen forty
seven Rogers.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Brothers in all four lovely eighteen forty seven patterns for
the first time in eight years.
Speaker 6 (24:55):
That's eighteen forty seven Rogers Brothers. The finest silver plate
in America.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
All right, are you awake?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
Of course I'm awake, so am I Have you tried
counting sheep?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Oh, I've counted hundreds of them, little green ones, then
the little yellow classifieds. I finally figured out where the
money came from.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Well, please tell me.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Well it it's really so simple. See, there was thirty
eight dollars in one book, forty four in the other book.
That makes eighty two dollars. There was originally only seventeen dollars.
That's a difference of sixty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And here's what happened.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
David and Ricky got sixty five dollars and played a
little trick on us. It was all a joke. Well,
this is.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Exactly what happened, OZI, Harriet.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
I know the question that leads into your mind. Where
did David and Ricky get sixty five dollars? Don't ask it.
It's four o'clock and we've got.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
To get some sleep.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
You mean to say, we're going to say good night
without explaining all this money.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Don't be so naive. Don't you ever listen to the radio.
Nothing under twenty five thousand dollars needs any explanation. At
least this is a happy ending. It's not can goods
and things.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I hate to say this, Jar, but I'm a little
disappointed in you.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
You mean to say you want everything that happens to
us completely explained and solved. Yes, don't be so corny.
We're living in a modern age, the age of the
unfinished short story. You said so yourself. But I don't
like those.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
They leave a hanging in the air.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I like to turn the page and find an ending there.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I like everything explain.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Okay, I'll explain where the money came from. You see,
David and Ricky wanted their money back to buy a baseball,
so when I found it in the phone book, I
gave it to them. But they changed their minds and
saw something else in the store they liked better, and
they bought that instead.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
How does that explain the money.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
I'm afraid our son David has inherited a peculiar artistic talent,
especially pictures of Lincoln and Washington. Probably got it from
some member of your family you've never even told me about. Anyway,
the printing press goes back tomorrow morning. Mar You see,
(27:49):
they bought the printing press. They made counterfeit money.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I yes, I'm sorry, I turned.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
The cage do.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
And then again next week to another adventor of Ozzie
and Harriet, starring Ozzie Nelson and Harriet Hiers.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I remember and there God Sinus silver Plates eighteen forty
seven Rogers brother.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yes, Harriet, America's Spinus silver plate is eighteen forty seven
Rogers Brothers.
Speaker 6 (28:18):
Appearing in support of Ozzie and Harriet were John Brown,
Tommy Bernard, Henry Blair, Hans Conried.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
And Alan Reid Junior.
Speaker 6 (28:25):
The original music was composed.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
And conducted by Billy May. You know you've got to
hand it to the doctors.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
They've taken on the toughest opposition.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
They could find heart disease America's number one cause of death,
and they need your help books to carry on their
research and other efforts to combat heart disease. So contribute
all you can to the American Heart Association, Box five hundred,
New York City.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
This is Burnsmith speaking.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
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