January 10, 2025 • 28 mins
Please enjoy The Loud Shirt a great episode of the legendary Ozzie and Harriet - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, transcribed and starring the
entire Nelson family Ozzy, Harriot, David and Ricky. One of
(00:34):
the basic differences between Ozzy Nelson and his next door
neighbor mister Thornberry is their taste in clothes. While Ozzie
tends toward the conservative, mister Thornberry goes for more sporty
looking outfits. At this time of year. It's especially noticeable
in the wool shirts they wear. Ozzy has solid grays,
(00:55):
blues and tans, while Thorny has orange stripes, purple checks,
green circles, and several plaids that were made in Scotland
and immediately deported. Ordinarily, Ozzie twits Thorny about his atrocious taste.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
But this morning things are different.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And now that's a good looking shirt you're wearing, Thorny.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Oh thanks, Ez, you like it?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, well, the first time in months you don't look
like a bad test pattern on a color television.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Well, frankfully, Oz, I feel it's a.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Little conservative conservative fire engine red with black stripes.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
That's all right to wed to a wedding.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
But if I'd picked it out myself, I'd have gotten
something with.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
A little color in it.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oh, you mean it was a gift I founded in.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
My shirt draw the other day. Catherine must have sneaked
it in there.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
She's got better taste than you. Some of those nightmares
you come up with orange stripes, purple dots, lavender checks.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Well, I've got other shirts besides that one.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
If I gave Harriet her that's what you'd pick out
for me.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Well, she's probably just trying to jazz you up. You're
usually pretty drab looking, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Look thorny. I don't have to dress like a peacock
to attract attention to myself like you do.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Well, at least I'm honest about it. I come right
out in the open. You're the sneaky type.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
And just what do you mean by that?
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh, I've seen you in the locker room wearing those
three shorts with the funny sayings on him.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Harriet gave me those as a gag.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
They're in my bottom drawer with some of the wild
shirts she's given me for Christmas that I refuse to wear.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Why don't you wear them?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Well? Are too loud? If I wore one of them,
she'd get me more. See this way, a little passive resistance.
I've been able to break her of the habit.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You know, you're a thoughtless cat.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
At least when Catherine gives me a dull shirt like this,
I wear it a few times out of common courtesy,
just so she doesn't get an inferiority complex.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
That's an example of Catherine's taste. You ought to let
her pick out all your shirts.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Look, as far as I'm concerned, there's only one thing
my wife has good taste in picking out.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
That's man.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, what about Harriet, I've.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Never seen any of the shirts she's picked out.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
Dear, the dry cleaner is coming by.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
If you've got any of those bull shirts to send out,
you better get them ready.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Oh oh, I've got his blue one and a gray one.
He's got most of my others.
Speaker 8 (03:35):
You see that new shirt mister Thornberry's wearing.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, it a beauty, isn't it?
Speaker 6 (03:39):
What kind?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Is it?
Speaker 9 (03:40):
Crazy? Red with frantic black strimes?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Don't you wear more shirts like that?
Speaker 10 (03:45):
Boh?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Oh, what's wrong with the ones I wear?
Speaker 9 (03:50):
You've got no personality?
Speaker 10 (03:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I happen to prefer solid colors like gray or dark green.
Speaker 9 (03:57):
You always look like either battle shirt a mailbox.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I'll tell you this much, I'd rather wear them than
those loud things Thorny wears well when he's wearing today
in so loud. Well, Missus Thornberry bought that one for
him for a wife. She shows very good taste.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
All right, I'll rise to the bait.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
What's wrong with the shirts I've given you?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well? Care them?
Speaker 9 (04:23):
What you say, Pop? We don't want a family crisis here.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Well, Harriet, the material is very nice.
Speaker 9 (04:32):
So far, so good.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
I don't understand what you're complaining about.
Speaker 7 (04:38):
The other day, I looked over those shirts I bought you,
and they're not so bad.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I know.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
And as I say, the material.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Is very nice.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
They're just a little too loud.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
It's a shame to let them gather dust.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
In the bottom drawer. Well, maybe you could exchange him,
all right, See, there's nothing really wrong with him.
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Well, if I bought you a shirt like Thorny, would
do you wear it?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Well? Certainly? But you never do. See That's why I
prefer to buy all my own shirts. Come in, here's.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Mister Nelson's shirts.
Speaker 11 (05:12):
Missus Nelson, Oh, thank you?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Anything to go out?
Speaker 6 (05:16):
Just a couple more wool shirts. They're upstairs. I'll get them.
Speaker 11 (05:18):
Well, I've got to pick up some cleaning at mister Thornberry's.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I'll be right back. I'll put these up in the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, no, no, no, no wayman, Harriet. Let me take
the paper off these.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And I'll show you what I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
See.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Now here's a gray with just a little fleck of.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Blue in it.
Speaker 6 (05:38):
Isn't that pretty daring?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's just a fleck.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And now here's a plain brown.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Now don't you like that?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
What's unusual about it?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Well, it's it's a plain and it's brown.
Speaker 7 (05:54):
That's pretty unusual for a plain brown shirt.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well it's plain around, yes, but it's also conservative.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Wow. What's this?
Speaker 10 (06:05):
You ow?
Speaker 9 (06:05):
Darts on a green green background?
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Is this an example of your taste?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Don't wait, I never bought a shirt like this. How
many shirts do you send to the cleaners?
Speaker 6 (06:18):
Five?
Speaker 8 (06:19):
There's one, two, three, four?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Five? Here pop, listen to him.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Count high School sure has done a lot.
Speaker 10 (06:26):
For that boy.
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Quiet, shorty, dear, I said out five shirts, and five
shirts came back.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I know, but they must have made a mistake because
this shirt isn't mine. Come in, have you got those shirts?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Missus Nelson? You made a.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Mistake in your delivery. This isn't my shirt.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
Oh oh, I'm sorry, unless I've gotten it mixed.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Up here, I'll take it back just a minute.
Speaker 11 (06:55):
What about my shirt, Well, don't worry about it. When
it shows up, I'll bring it back.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Now, I'll just ooh, none, just a second. Suppose I
hold this shirt until you bring back mine.
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Smart move pop, Thank you son.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But mister Nelson, why do you want to keep a
shirt that doesn't belong to you?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Because I've had similar experiences in the past.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Once the wrong suit was returned to.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Me and I gave it back and I never got
mine back, and that was the last I ever heard
of it.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
It wasn't the last we ever.
Speaker 11 (07:25):
Heard of it, mister Nelson. There's nothing to worry about.
We have insurance for this.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah, I've had dealings with the insurance people too. If
you don't find my shirt, a man will come around
ask me when I bought the shirt, and then deducting
them out for the time I've worn it. Naturally, I
wouldn't be happy with that kind of a settlement.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Mister Nelson. I'll see that you get a new shirt.
Speaker 8 (07:50):
Hey, I've got some clunkers you can lose for me.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
No, no, no, no, that's not the idea, Dave. I
just want to make sure I get my own shirt back.
Speaker 11 (07:58):
Oh yes, but what about the man whose shirt you've got?
Don't you think he wants his back?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Only if he's out of his mind. However, he'll have
to be inconvenienced until you return mine. And that's the way.
Speaker 11 (08:11):
It's gonna be, all right, mister Nelson, you're a hard
man to do business with him.
Speaker 12 (08:15):
This is nothing you ought to try and get a
raise in your allowance from you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Come in, thorney.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Hi, Hey, I was talking to dry cleaner and he
says he thinks you have one of my shirts.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh what makes you think it's yours?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Because I'm missing a shirt?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Well so am I?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well that's too bad OUs?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Can I have mine?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Well not so fast, Oh boy, we haven't established that
it's yours.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Look, I'm missing a shirt.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's mine. You say it's yours.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Now I suppose I go along with that, and then
somebody else shows up and says it's his. Then what
do I do?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
You try to get it back from me?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
No, thanks, mister Thornbird.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
But it's my shirt.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You want me to describe it? It has blue and yellow.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Dots on a gray and green background.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Is that right? Let me look?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
That's right?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
How can I have the shirt?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No? Why not? Because I'm not satisfied that it's yours.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
But I just described it to you. How would I
know what it looked like if it wasn't mine?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
The cleaner could have told you, as with your suspicious mind,
you want to get a job with a big corporation
checking expense account.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Now, as one gentleman to another, can I please have
the shirt?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
No?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
You cannot, But I'm telling you it's mine, Thorney.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
My argument is with the cleaner.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It has nothing to do with you. When he returns my.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Shirt to me, I'll return your shirt to him, and
he'll return your shirt to you.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Why don't we just eliminate the middleman? Give me my shirts?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Will you replace my shirt?
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Why should I?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Because I don't intend to be out of shirt, and
neither do I.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Now, are you gonna give me the.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Shirt or take the consequences?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Are you threatening me? Yes?
Speaker 10 (10:14):
I am.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Would you care to step outside?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Okay? All right?
Speaker 3 (10:22):
If Thorny comes looking for me, don't let him in.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Fozzie Nelson, who has a passion for conservative wool shirts
sent five of them to the five were returned, among
them a wild looking stray, which Thorny claims is his.
Ozzy has refused to return it to him until the
cleaner returns Ozzy's own shirt. A state of war exists
between Ozzy and Thorny. We take you now to General
(11:17):
Nelson's headquarters.
Speaker 9 (11:20):
Hi, pop a.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right, Pop?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Hello, boys, do you mind locking the front door please?
Speaker 7 (11:27):
Ge?
Speaker 8 (11:27):
Do you think mister Thormrey will break in to get
a shirt back?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Well, I don't know, David. I'm not taking any chances.
I've been at odds with Thorny before.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
You don't have to worry about the enemy without the
enemy within.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And what do you mean by that?
Speaker 8 (11:41):
Mister Thormery tried to bribe Ricky here to swipe the.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Shirt for him.
Speaker 9 (11:45):
Yeah, Pop, he offered me a quarter.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well I'm glad you didn't take it, Tack.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
No, no job like that's worth fifty cents.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Believe it. If he were again and you never find
the shirt, I got it hidden enough.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Pretty good place where.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Don't tell him, Pop.
Speaker 8 (12:02):
You know how weak the little money lover is.
Speaker 9 (12:06):
I saw on my own family. I like this little
old group.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In spite of you, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 10 (12:14):
Pop?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I want to stand up for my rights. I'm sorry that.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Thorny can't see my point of view.
Speaker 7 (12:20):
Well could you see his point of view if the
situation were reversed.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Oh all right, Well, certainly he had something of mine
and he wanted to hold it to make sure he'd
get back something of his. I'd understand it perfectly.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Fine, because he just swiped your Kashmir sweater.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
David, call the police.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
Now, wait a minute. You said you'd understand it. Maybe
I didn't say it clearly enough. He swiped your Kashmir sweating.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yes, yeah, I understood that very clearly.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
So now he's got something of yours that he's holding
on to until you give him back something of his
comes out, even.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
It does not. I'm out of shirt and a sweater.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Now, if you lose your pain, yes, you're in real trouble, Harriet.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
How did he get the sweater?
Speaker 6 (13:08):
I hung it in the backyard. There it out.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Well, he's put his foot in it. This time. He
crossed over my property line and took the sweater. That's
trespassing and petty larceny.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
No, dear, he reached over the fence with a fishing
rod and kind of jiggled it.
Speaker 12 (13:24):
Over the penalty for jiggling pop, Harry, If you saw
him doing this, why didn't you stop him?
Speaker 9 (13:33):
I was overwhelmed at the.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Time by what he was doing.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
No trying to figure out how Thorny's shirt got into
our freezer.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
No, Oh, well, I put it there to hide it,
and it'll be a pretty cold day before I give
it back to him too.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
It'll be a pretty cold shirt too.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
Well.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I'm going over there and demand that he returned it.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Owed your coat, dear Harried.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I don't intend to resort to physical I know.
Speaker 7 (14:01):
I just wanted to hold your coat so he doesn't
get that too.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Oh, hello, what brings you here?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
You know, darn well what brings me here?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
You came to return my shirt.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I've come to get my cashmere sweater back, Harried. I
don't need any cheering section.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Will you close the door please?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Darny?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Sure now you mentioned something about a sweater eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yes, I did. You jiggled my cashmere sweater across the fence.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
I'll be careful, os nobody's gonna come in here and
accuse me of jiggling.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Science.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What makes you think it's yours.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Who does that?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Go along with that? And somebody shows up and says
it's his? Then what do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It's my sweater? You want me to describe it to you?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Please?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
It's light gray with a tiny yellow design in it.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yep? Now? May I please have my sweater?
Speaker 6 (15:17):
No?
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And why not?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Harriet may have described it to you.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Besides, I'm holding it for ransom till I get my
shirt back.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I told you, Thorny that when I get my shirt back,
I'll give your shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
To the cleaner and he'll give your shirt back to you.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Isn't that fair? Who is?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And when you give the cleaner my shirt back and
he gives it to me, I'll give him.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Your cashmere sweater to dry clean, and then he can
give it back to you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
With the bill. Of course, the sweater doesn't need dry cleaning.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
It will after I wear it.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
You wear my sweater and I'll wear your shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That seems fair.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It is not fair that sweater is worth eight times
with that ridiculous shirt of yours? Is work?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Then why don't you give it back to me and
I'll give you the.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Sweater Because my quarrel is not with you.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
It's with the.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Cleaner, the one of your young and MENI pole.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Because you've stolen my sweater, and you were stolen my shirt,
and you're not gonna get away with Are you threatening me?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Would you care to step outside? Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
No, you don't. I'm not falling for my own trick.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Okay, I'll go out first, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Can I use your telephone? Harriet? Why are you wearing.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Thrny shirt?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That's good on you?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Why did you scream?
Speaker 6 (16:52):
But I didn't recognize you.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
You usually look like either a battleship or a mailbot.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yes, said that before. It's the kind of a shirt
that you would buy me. But it's not the kind
of a shirt that I like. I'm only wearing it
because Thorny is wearing my sweater.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Oh take my word for it. Dare you look real jazzy?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I'm not the jazzy type. What did you just say?
Nothing hard? You said something under your breath. You mumbled something, now, dear,
it was just a.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Sigh, good morning?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Euhz hell o. Thorny kind of bist today? Yes, it is,
of course.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I don't notice it. Wearing this nice warm Cashmia sweater.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
This shirt keeps me pretty warm.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
Too.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
It's good.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Where are you going to clean out my incinerator?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
You're not gonna clean out your incinerator in my sweater?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Would you like to do it?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Of course?
Speaker 9 (18:06):
Not?
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Then I guess I'll.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Have to do it.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Take that sweater off.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I will not now.
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Excuse me, Oz, I have to get busy.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I have something to do myself. What I'm gonna crawl
into my car and drain the oil out of my
crank case. You'll ruin my shirts no more than you'll
ruin my sweater cleaning out the incinerator.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Oz, how about a nice clean game of checkers.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You're on.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
Secret Agent Ato too? Reporting?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Oh oh, rick Sir, I wish to.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
Report that mister Thornberry has not gone near his.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Good anyway?
Speaker 12 (19:00):
Word from David, No, you steak out so he can
keep an eye on mister Thornberry's furnace.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Ozzie, don't you think you're acting a little childish about
all this?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Not at all.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's a very expensive cashmere sweater.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Hey, I just saw a face at the.
Speaker 12 (19:14):
Window where who wasn't Will Thorners?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
How do you like that?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Paying his kid to spy on me?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Well?
Speaker 6 (19:22):
What are David and Ricky doing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
It's not the same thing.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
No, we're not getting paid.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Wonder how much will get Ozzie, you're just upsetting yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Hello.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
Oh yes, well.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
That's good news.
Speaker 6 (19:45):
Yes, we'll be home, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
That was the cleaner, dear, he's located your shirt and
he'll be.
Speaker 6 (19:50):
Over here this afternoon.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Oh good, Now.
Speaker 7 (19:53):
Why don't you take that shirt off and take it
over the thorny and get your sweater back, and then
everything will be settled.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Well, of course not. The cleaner returns my shirt to me.
I'll return Thorny's shirt to the cleaner. The cleaner will
return it to thorn Then Thorny will return my sweater
to him, and he'll return my sweater to me.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
Harriet, Harriet.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Thorney right, your eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Brought your shirt over. I've got your sweater, thank you.
May I have it? Please just a second.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
You give me my shirt, I'll give you your sweater.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
No, no, no, you give me my sweater and I'll
give you your shirt.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Don't you trust me with my life?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Well, but not with my shirt?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
All right, Look, I'll put the shirt down. You put
the sweater down. Then, oh no, you don't.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
You'll snatch them both up and run and hide behind Harry.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Here, you put one hand on your shirt, and I'll
put one hand on my sweater.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Then at the count of three we'll let go.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Okay, okay, one, two? All I got was the sleeve.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
He didn't let go in time.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Well, it's your all fault. You didn't wait for three.
My shirt is ruining.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Oh it's just a little tear.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Look at my sweater, pipe ashes all down the front.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
There's a buck missing from my shirt. How come your
name is sewed in my sweater?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
What's this quarter doing in the pocket of my shirt?
That's fine, give it back to me. I'll take this
up with you later, Thornbury.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Fine, you'll find me at my attorneys that dear.
Speaker 10 (22:00):
Oh thanks good?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Where is it bright in this box?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's about time that Thorny is such a shot. All
this fusso now just a minute. This isn't my shirt.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
This is Thorny's what it's that fire engine red with
the black stripes. Where's the cleaner?
Speaker 6 (22:23):
Just a second, dear, this is your shirt.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
No it's not.
Speaker 7 (22:26):
It's one of those shirts I bought for you that
you hit.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Away in the bottom drawer. Well I would have recognized
it if it was not with all the dust on it.
Speaker 7 (22:34):
That's why I stuck it in with the others to
be set out to be dry clean. This is the
one you raved about when Thorny wore it, isn't it. Well,
the one you said showed what good taste Catherine had
in picking out shirts.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Well, yes, but I says, always.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Looks greener on the other fellow's back. Huh.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Well, maybe we've been a little too hasty. You know,
at Christmas time, with all those colored lights shining on them,
things sometimes look a little different.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I want to be fair. I'll take another look at
them too late.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Now, what do you mean, Santa Claw? Just broff me, Thorny,
that's my shirt, Harriet.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
You told me to exchange them.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You gave all those beautiful shirts to Thorney.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
Well we made a fair exchange. I gave him the shirts.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
And what did he give you?
Speaker 7 (23:25):
His promise to try and get the itching powder out
of your cashmere sweater?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Darney.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I just left as Darney come out of the.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Oh, hi, hey, you're wearing that red shirt with a
frantic stripes.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, looks good on you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's exactly what I decided. I thought it over, and
I think I can stand a little color.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, you are kind of pale men of my shirts.
So if you don't mind, I'll just take those shirts back.
Then Harry gave you.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I'll tell them when I see him, those shirts are mine.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You had your chance and you left them in your drawer.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You're gonna be a soyhead about this.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Those are my shirts, Oz, Harriet gave them to me
in good faith, and I intend to wear them in
good faith.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
All right, Thoughty, you've had your fun. Would you please
go get them and give them back to me?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Sure? Thanks?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
After I warn them a couple of years, you're not
going to wear them?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
They're mine?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Os?
Speaker 5 (24:49):
Must I remind you the possession is nine tenths of
the law.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
All stops showing off. I can do fractions too as well.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Save your breath of us. You're not gonna get your
shirts back? O, hey.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Then I'll consider it a fair exchange.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
What's fair about it?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
I've got your shirts and you've got nothing.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And you can take that any way you want.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Oh yeah, oh, I think you overlook something. My friend.
Do you like the way these slacks look with his shirt?
Speaker 10 (25:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
They look? Hey, those are my slacks.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
They were airing out on the line.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yes they were, but I can jiggle as well.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
As the next guy. If I gonna have.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
My shirts back, you're gonna have your slacks.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I've got them out in the garage.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
Catherine wouldn't let me wear them, so I figured i'd
polish the car with.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
It with my shirts. Give them back to me, Come on,
get them okay, ohs just a second, be careful of them.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Here they are ours.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
No thanks, not so fast, my slacks.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Please give me my shirts, and when I get in
the house and take the slacks off, I'll.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Bring them over to you. No, sir, no slacks, no shirts.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Let me run in the house and bring them back out.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Will you go ahead if you want to, But by
then I may have changed my mind. Those slacks are
pretty thin in the seas we change right now and
not at all.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
The more I think of it, I don't think I want.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Though tight anyway.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, how can I have the shirts?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Please? In a moment? Whole still oz? What's for? I
just want to read the funny sayings on your shirt.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Services, So
(27:46):
sods
The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, transcribed and starring the
entire Nelson family Ozzy, Harriot, David and Ricky. One of
(00:34):
the basic differences between Ozzy Nelson and his next door
neighbor mister Thornberry is their taste in clothes. While Ozzie
tends toward the conservative, mister Thornberry goes for more sporty
looking outfits. At this time of year. It's especially noticeable
in the wool shirts they wear. Ozzy has solid grays,
(00:55):
blues and tans, while Thorny has orange stripes, purple checks,
green circles, and several plaids that were made in Scotland
and immediately deported. Ordinarily, Ozzie twits Thorny about his atrocious taste.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
But this morning things are different.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And now that's a good looking shirt you're wearing, Thorny.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Oh thanks, Ez, you like it?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, well, the first time in months you don't look
like a bad test pattern on a color television.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Well, frankfully, Oz, I feel it's a.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Little conservative conservative fire engine red with black stripes.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
That's all right to wed to a wedding.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
But if I'd picked it out myself, I'd have gotten
something with.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
A little color in it.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Oh, you mean it was a gift I founded in.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
My shirt draw the other day. Catherine must have sneaked
it in there.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
She's got better taste than you. Some of those nightmares
you come up with orange stripes, purple dots, lavender checks.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Well, I've got other shirts besides that one.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
If I gave Harriet her that's what you'd pick out
for me.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
Well, she's probably just trying to jazz you up. You're
usually pretty drab looking, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Look thorny. I don't have to dress like a peacock
to attract attention to myself like you do.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Well, at least I'm honest about it. I come right
out in the open. You're the sneaky type.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
And just what do you mean by that?
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh, I've seen you in the locker room wearing those
three shorts with the funny sayings on him.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Harriet gave me those as a gag.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
They're in my bottom drawer with some of the wild
shirts she's given me for Christmas that I refuse to wear.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Why don't you wear them?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Well? Are too loud? If I wore one of them,
she'd get me more. See this way, a little passive resistance.
I've been able to break her of the habit.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
You know, you're a thoughtless cat.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
At least when Catherine gives me a dull shirt like this,
I wear it a few times out of common courtesy,
just so she doesn't get an inferiority complex.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
That's an example of Catherine's taste. You ought to let
her pick out all your shirts.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Look, as far as I'm concerned, there's only one thing
my wife has good taste in picking out.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
That's man.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, what about Harriet, I've.
Speaker 5 (03:12):
Never seen any of the shirts she's picked out.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
Dear, the dry cleaner is coming by.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
If you've got any of those bull shirts to send out,
you better get them ready.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Oh oh, I've got his blue one and a gray one.
He's got most of my others.
Speaker 8 (03:35):
You see that new shirt mister Thornberry's wearing.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, it a beauty, isn't it?
Speaker 6 (03:39):
What kind?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Is it?
Speaker 9 (03:40):
Crazy? Red with frantic black strimes?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Don't you wear more shirts like that?
Speaker 10 (03:45):
Boh?
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Oh, what's wrong with the ones I wear?
Speaker 9 (03:50):
You've got no personality?
Speaker 10 (03:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I happen to prefer solid colors like gray or dark green.
Speaker 9 (03:57):
You always look like either battle shirt a mailbox.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
I'll tell you this much, I'd rather wear them than
those loud things Thorny wears well when he's wearing today
in so loud. Well, Missus Thornberry bought that one for
him for a wife. She shows very good taste.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
All right, I'll rise to the bait.
Speaker 7 (04:18):
What's wrong with the shirts I've given you?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well? Care them?
Speaker 9 (04:23):
What you say, Pop? We don't want a family crisis here.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Well, Harriet, the material is very nice.
Speaker 9 (04:32):
So far, so good.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
I don't understand what you're complaining about.
Speaker 7 (04:38):
The other day, I looked over those shirts I bought you,
and they're not so bad.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I know.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
And as I say, the material.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Is very nice.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
They're just a little too loud.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
It's a shame to let them gather dust.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
In the bottom drawer. Well, maybe you could exchange him,
all right, See, there's nothing really wrong with him.
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Well, if I bought you a shirt like Thorny, would
do you wear it?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Well? Certainly? But you never do. See That's why I
prefer to buy all my own shirts. Come in, here's.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Mister Nelson's shirts.
Speaker 11 (05:12):
Missus Nelson, Oh, thank you?
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Anything to go out?
Speaker 6 (05:16):
Just a couple more wool shirts. They're upstairs. I'll get them.
Speaker 11 (05:18):
Well, I've got to pick up some cleaning at mister Thornberry's.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I'll be right back. I'll put these up in the bedroom.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, no, no, no, no wayman, Harriet. Let me take
the paper off these.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And I'll show you what I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
See.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Now here's a gray with just a little fleck of.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Blue in it.
Speaker 6 (05:38):
Isn't that pretty daring?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's just a fleck.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
And now here's a plain brown.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Now don't you like that?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
What's unusual about it?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Well, it's it's a plain and it's brown.
Speaker 7 (05:54):
That's pretty unusual for a plain brown shirt.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well it's plain around, yes, but it's also conservative.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Wow. What's this?
Speaker 10 (06:05):
You ow?
Speaker 9 (06:05):
Darts on a green green background?
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Is this an example of your taste?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Don't wait, I never bought a shirt like this. How
many shirts do you send to the cleaners?
Speaker 6 (06:18):
Five?
Speaker 8 (06:19):
There's one, two, three, four?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Five? Here pop, listen to him.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Count high School sure has done a lot.
Speaker 10 (06:26):
For that boy.
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Quiet, shorty, dear, I said out five shirts, and five
shirts came back.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I know, but they must have made a mistake because
this shirt isn't mine. Come in, have you got those shirts?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Missus Nelson? You made a.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Mistake in your delivery. This isn't my shirt.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
Oh oh, I'm sorry, unless I've gotten it mixed.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Up here, I'll take it back just a minute.
Speaker 11 (06:55):
What about my shirt, Well, don't worry about it. When
it shows up, I'll bring it back.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Now, I'll just ooh, none, just a second. Suppose I
hold this shirt until you bring back mine.
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Smart move pop, Thank you son.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But mister Nelson, why do you want to keep a
shirt that doesn't belong to you?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Because I've had similar experiences in the past.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Once the wrong suit was returned to.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Me and I gave it back and I never got
mine back, and that was the last I ever heard
of it.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
It wasn't the last we ever.
Speaker 11 (07:25):
Heard of it, mister Nelson. There's nothing to worry about.
We have insurance for this.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah, I've had dealings with the insurance people too. If
you don't find my shirt, a man will come around
ask me when I bought the shirt, and then deducting
them out for the time I've worn it. Naturally, I
wouldn't be happy with that kind of a settlement.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Mister Nelson. I'll see that you get a new shirt.
Speaker 8 (07:50):
Hey, I've got some clunkers you can lose for me.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
No, no, no, no, that's not the idea, Dave. I
just want to make sure I get my own shirt back.
Speaker 11 (07:58):
Oh yes, but what about the man whose shirt you've got?
Don't you think he wants his back?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Only if he's out of his mind. However, he'll have
to be inconvenienced until you return mine. And that's the way.
Speaker 11 (08:11):
It's gonna be, all right, mister Nelson, you're a hard
man to do business with him.
Speaker 12 (08:15):
This is nothing you ought to try and get a
raise in your allowance from you.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Come in, thorney.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
Hi, Hey, I was talking to dry cleaner and he
says he thinks you have one of my shirts.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Oh what makes you think it's yours?
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Because I'm missing a shirt?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Well so am I?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well that's too bad OUs?
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Can I have mine?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Well not so fast, Oh boy, we haven't established that
it's yours.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Look, I'm missing a shirt.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's mine. You say it's yours.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Now I suppose I go along with that, and then
somebody else shows up and says it's his. Then what
do I do?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
You try to get it back from me?
Speaker 3 (09:04):
No, thanks, mister Thornbird.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
But it's my shirt.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
You want me to describe it? It has blue and yellow.
Speaker 4 (09:10):
Dots on a gray and green background.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Is that right? Let me look?
Speaker 3 (09:19):
That's right?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
How can I have the shirt?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No? Why not? Because I'm not satisfied that it's yours.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
But I just described it to you. How would I
know what it looked like if it wasn't mine?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
The cleaner could have told you, as with your suspicious mind,
you want to get a job with a big corporation
checking expense account.
Speaker 5 (09:41):
Now, as one gentleman to another, can I please have
the shirt?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
No?
Speaker 5 (09:46):
You cannot, But I'm telling you it's mine, Thorney.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
My argument is with the cleaner.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It has nothing to do with you. When he returns my.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Shirt to me, I'll return your shirt to him, and
he'll return your shirt to you.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Why don't we just eliminate the middleman? Give me my shirts?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Will you replace my shirt?
Speaker 4 (10:05):
Why should I?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Because I don't intend to be out of shirt, and
neither do I.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Now, are you gonna give me the.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Shirt or take the consequences?
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Are you threatening me? Yes?
Speaker 10 (10:14):
I am.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Would you care to step outside?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Okay? All right?
Speaker 3 (10:22):
If Thorny comes looking for me, don't let him in.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Fozzie Nelson, who has a passion for conservative wool shirts
sent five of them to the five were returned, among
them a wild looking stray, which Thorny claims is his.
Ozzy has refused to return it to him until the
cleaner returns Ozzy's own shirt. A state of war exists
between Ozzy and Thorny. We take you now to General
(11:17):
Nelson's headquarters.
Speaker 9 (11:20):
Hi, pop a.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right, Pop?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Hello, boys, do you mind locking the front door please?
Speaker 7 (11:27):
Ge?
Speaker 8 (11:27):
Do you think mister Thormrey will break in to get
a shirt back?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Well, I don't know, David. I'm not taking any chances.
I've been at odds with Thorny before.
Speaker 8 (11:36):
You don't have to worry about the enemy without the
enemy within.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
And what do you mean by that?
Speaker 8 (11:41):
Mister Thormery tried to bribe Ricky here to swipe the.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Shirt for him.
Speaker 9 (11:45):
Yeah, Pop, he offered me a quarter.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well I'm glad you didn't take it, Tack.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
No, no job like that's worth fifty cents.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Believe it. If he were again and you never find
the shirt, I got it hidden enough.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Pretty good place where.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Don't tell him, Pop.
Speaker 8 (12:02):
You know how weak the little money lover is.
Speaker 9 (12:06):
I saw on my own family. I like this little
old group.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
In spite of you, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 10 (12:14):
Pop?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I want to stand up for my rights. I'm sorry that.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Thorny can't see my point of view.
Speaker 7 (12:20):
Well could you see his point of view if the
situation were reversed.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Oh all right, Well, certainly he had something of mine
and he wanted to hold it to make sure he'd
get back something of his. I'd understand it perfectly.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Fine, because he just swiped your Kashmir sweater.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
David, call the police.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
Now, wait a minute. You said you'd understand it. Maybe
I didn't say it clearly enough. He swiped your Kashmir sweating.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yes, yeah, I understood that very clearly.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
So now he's got something of yours that he's holding
on to until you give him back something of his
comes out, even.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
It does not. I'm out of shirt and a sweater.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Now, if you lose your pain, yes, you're in real trouble, Harriet.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
How did he get the sweater?
Speaker 6 (13:08):
I hung it in the backyard. There it out.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Well, he's put his foot in it. This time. He
crossed over my property line and took the sweater. That's
trespassing and petty larceny.
Speaker 7 (13:20):
No, dear, he reached over the fence with a fishing
rod and kind of jiggled it.
Speaker 12 (13:24):
Over the penalty for jiggling pop, Harry, If you saw
him doing this, why didn't you stop him?
Speaker 9 (13:33):
I was overwhelmed at the.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Time by what he was doing.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
No trying to figure out how Thorny's shirt got into
our freezer.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
No, Oh, well, I put it there to hide it,
and it'll be a pretty cold day before I give
it back to him too.
Speaker 6 (13:50):
It'll be a pretty cold shirt too.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
Well.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I'm going over there and demand that he returned it.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Owed your coat, dear Harried.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I don't intend to resort to physical I know.
Speaker 7 (14:01):
I just wanted to hold your coat so he doesn't
get that too.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
Oh, hello, what brings you here?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
You know, darn well what brings me here?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
You came to return my shirt.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I've come to get my cashmere sweater back, Harried. I
don't need any cheering section.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Will you close the door please?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Darny?
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Sure now you mentioned something about a sweater eyes.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yes, I did. You jiggled my cashmere sweater across the fence.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
I'll be careful, os nobody's gonna come in here and
accuse me of jiggling.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Science.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
What makes you think it's yours.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Who does that?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Go along with that? And somebody shows up and says
it's his? Then what do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It's my sweater? You want me to describe it to you?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Please?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
It's light gray with a tiny yellow design in it.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yep? Now? May I please have my sweater?
Speaker 6 (15:17):
No?
Speaker 3 (15:18):
And why not?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Harriet may have described it to you.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Besides, I'm holding it for ransom till I get my
shirt back.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I told you, Thorny that when I get my shirt back,
I'll give your shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
To the cleaner and he'll give your shirt back to you.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Isn't that fair? Who is?
Speaker 5 (15:36):
And when you give the cleaner my shirt back and
he gives it to me, I'll give him.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Your cashmere sweater to dry clean, and then he can
give it back to you.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
With the bill. Of course, the sweater doesn't need dry cleaning.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
It will after I wear it.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
You wear my sweater and I'll wear your shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
That seems fair.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It is not fair that sweater is worth eight times
with that ridiculous shirt of yours? Is work?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Then why don't you give it back to me and
I'll give you the.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Sweater Because my quarrel is not with you.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
It's with the.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Cleaner, the one of your young and MENI pole.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
Because you've stolen my sweater, and you were stolen my shirt,
and you're not gonna get away with Are you threatening me?
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Would you care to step outside? Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
No, you don't. I'm not falling for my own trick.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Okay, I'll go out first, Catherine.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Can I use your telephone? Harriet? Why are you wearing.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Thrny shirt?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That's good on you?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Why did you scream?
Speaker 6 (16:52):
But I didn't recognize you.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
You usually look like either a battleship or a mailbot.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yes, said that before. It's the kind of a shirt
that you would buy me. But it's not the kind
of a shirt that I like. I'm only wearing it
because Thorny is wearing my sweater.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Oh take my word for it. Dare you look real jazzy?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
I'm not the jazzy type. What did you just say?
Nothing hard? You said something under your breath. You mumbled something, now, dear,
it was just a.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Sigh, good morning?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Euhz hell o. Thorny kind of bist today? Yes, it is,
of course.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I don't notice it. Wearing this nice warm Cashmia sweater.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
This shirt keeps me pretty warm.
Speaker 7 (17:51):
Too.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
It's good.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Where are you going to clean out my incinerator?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
You're not gonna clean out your incinerator in my sweater?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Would you like to do it?
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Of course?
Speaker 9 (18:06):
Not?
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Then I guess I'll.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Have to do it.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Take that sweater off.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I will not now.
Speaker 8 (18:12):
Excuse me, Oz, I have to get busy.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
I have something to do myself. What I'm gonna crawl
into my car and drain the oil out of my
crank case. You'll ruin my shirts no more than you'll
ruin my sweater cleaning out the incinerator.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
Oz, how about a nice clean game of checkers.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You're on.
Speaker 9 (18:49):
Secret Agent Ato too? Reporting?
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Oh oh, rick Sir, I wish to.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
Report that mister Thornberry has not gone near his.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Good anyway?
Speaker 12 (19:00):
Word from David, No, you steak out so he can
keep an eye on mister Thornberry's furnace.
Speaker 7 (19:05):
Ozzie, don't you think you're acting a little childish about
all this?
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Not at all.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's a very expensive cashmere sweater.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Hey, I just saw a face at the.
Speaker 12 (19:14):
Window where who wasn't Will Thorners?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
How do you like that?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Paying his kid to spy on me?
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Well?
Speaker 6 (19:22):
What are David and Ricky doing.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
It's not the same thing.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
No, we're not getting paid.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Wonder how much will get Ozzie, you're just upsetting yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Hello.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
Oh yes, well.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
That's good news.
Speaker 6 (19:45):
Yes, we'll be home, thank you.
Speaker 7 (19:47):
That was the cleaner, dear, he's located your shirt and
he'll be.
Speaker 6 (19:50):
Over here this afternoon.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Oh good, Now.
Speaker 7 (19:53):
Why don't you take that shirt off and take it
over the thorny and get your sweater back, and then
everything will be settled.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Well, of course not. The cleaner returns my shirt to me.
I'll return Thorny's shirt to the cleaner. The cleaner will
return it to thorn Then Thorny will return my sweater
to him, and he'll return my sweater to me.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
Harriet, Harriet.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Thorney right, your eyes.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Brought your shirt over. I've got your sweater, thank you.
May I have it? Please just a second.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
You give me my shirt, I'll give you your sweater.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
No, no, no, you give me my sweater and I'll
give you your shirt.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Don't you trust me with my life?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Well, but not with my shirt?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
All right, Look, I'll put the shirt down. You put
the sweater down. Then, oh no, you don't.
Speaker 5 (21:05):
You'll snatch them both up and run and hide behind Harry.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Here, you put one hand on your shirt, and I'll
put one hand on my sweater.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Then at the count of three we'll let go.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Okay, okay, one, two? All I got was the sleeve.
Speaker 4 (21:30):
He didn't let go in time.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Well, it's your all fault. You didn't wait for three.
My shirt is ruining.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Oh it's just a little tear.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Look at my sweater, pipe ashes all down the front.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
There's a buck missing from my shirt. How come your
name is sewed in my sweater?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
What's this quarter doing in the pocket of my shirt?
That's fine, give it back to me. I'll take this
up with you later, Thornbury.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Fine, you'll find me at my attorneys that dear.
Speaker 10 (22:00):
Oh thanks good?
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Where is it bright in this box?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's about time that Thorny is such a shot. All
this fusso now just a minute. This isn't my shirt.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
This is Thorny's what it's that fire engine red with
the black stripes. Where's the cleaner?
Speaker 6 (22:23):
Just a second, dear, this is your shirt.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
No it's not.
Speaker 7 (22:26):
It's one of those shirts I bought for you that
you hit.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Away in the bottom drawer. Well I would have recognized
it if it was not with all the dust on it.
Speaker 7 (22:34):
That's why I stuck it in with the others to
be set out to be dry clean. This is the
one you raved about when Thorny wore it, isn't it. Well,
the one you said showed what good taste Catherine had
in picking out shirts.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Well, yes, but I says, always.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Looks greener on the other fellow's back. Huh.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Well, maybe we've been a little too hasty. You know,
at Christmas time, with all those colored lights shining on them,
things sometimes look a little different.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I want to be fair. I'll take another look at
them too late.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Now, what do you mean, Santa Claw? Just broff me, Thorny,
that's my shirt, Harriet.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
You told me to exchange them.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You gave all those beautiful shirts to Thorney.
Speaker 6 (23:21):
Well we made a fair exchange. I gave him the shirts.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
And what did he give you?
Speaker 7 (23:25):
His promise to try and get the itching powder out
of your cashmere sweater?
Speaker 10 (23:56):
Darney.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I just left as Darney come out of the.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Oh, hi, hey, you're wearing that red shirt with a
frantic stripes.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, looks good on you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's exactly what I decided. I thought it over, and
I think I can stand a little color.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, you are kind of pale men of my shirts.
So if you don't mind, I'll just take those shirts back.
Then Harry gave you.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
I'll tell them when I see him, those shirts are mine.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You had your chance and you left them in your drawer.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You're gonna be a soyhead about this.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
Those are my shirts, Oz, Harriet gave them to me
in good faith, and I intend to wear them in
good faith.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
All right, Thoughty, you've had your fun. Would you please
go get them and give them back to me?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Sure? Thanks?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
After I warn them a couple of years, you're not
going to wear them?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
They're mine?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Os?
Speaker 5 (24:49):
Must I remind you the possession is nine tenths of
the law.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
All stops showing off. I can do fractions too as well.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Save your breath of us. You're not gonna get your
shirts back? O, hey.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Then I'll consider it a fair exchange.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
What's fair about it?
Speaker 4 (25:03):
I've got your shirts and you've got nothing.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And you can take that any way you want.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Oh yeah, oh, I think you overlook something. My friend.
Do you like the way these slacks look with his shirt?
Speaker 10 (25:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
They look? Hey, those are my slacks.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
They were airing out on the line.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yes they were, but I can jiggle as well.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
As the next guy. If I gonna have.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
My shirts back, you're gonna have your slacks.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I've got them out in the garage.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
Catherine wouldn't let me wear them, so I figured i'd
polish the car with.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
It with my shirts. Give them back to me, Come on,
get them okay, ohs just a second, be careful of them.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Here they are ours.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
No thanks, not so fast, my slacks.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Please give me my shirts, and when I get in
the house and take the slacks off, I'll.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Bring them over to you. No, sir, no slacks, no shirts.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Let me run in the house and bring them back out.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Will you go ahead if you want to, But by
then I may have changed my mind. Those slacks are
pretty thin in the seas we change right now and
not at all.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:06):
The more I think of it, I don't think I want.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Though tight anyway.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, how can I have the shirts?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Please? In a moment? Whole still oz? What's for? I
just want to read the funny sayings on your shirt.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Services, So
(27:46):
sods
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