This weekend you can still get your raffle ticket or bid on a silect auction to the Anne Saxelby Legacy Fund! Check out their amazing organization and what they do for apprecntices around the country to preserve the farming industry.
https://www.annesaxelbylegacyfund.org/2025-raffle
Learn about RPP in this week's health segment. Mary Robinson is living with generalized pustular psoriasis and Adam Friedman, MD, FAAD is the Professor and Chair of Dermatology, The George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences.
Author Matin Miryeganeh has written a powerfully inspiration memoir, " All Is Well." It's a memoir of loss, survival; and inner strength.
Dr. Jess Carbinp is a relationship and onlie dating expert. She talks about love languages, partcularly that of helping to clean, highlighting seventh generation products.
https://www.annesaxelbylegacyfund.org/2025-raffle
Learn about RPP in this week's health segment. Mary Robinson is living with generalized pustular psoriasis and Adam Friedman, MD, FAAD is the Professor and Chair of Dermatology, The George Washington University School of Medicine & Health Sciences.
Author Matin Miryeganeh has written a powerfully inspiration memoir, " All Is Well." It's a memoir of loss, survival; and inner strength.
Dr. Jess Carbinp is a relationship and onlie dating expert. She talks about love languages, partcularly that of helping to clean, highlighting seventh generation products.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Passport Mommy. I'm your host, Michelle Jerson. This
show is for anyone raising little humans. We feature experts
with tips and advice to enrich the lives of our children.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Entrepreneurs tell us their inspiring stories, learn about products that
could make both you and your child's life easier and
more fun. And of course, fellow parents discuss and laugh
about what's happening in their child's world.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Motherhood is a journey. Thanks for joining me onmine.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Welcome to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jerson. So last night
I was at an amazing event at Chelsea Market in
New York City. And who doesn't love a good food event?
And I love these events where you get to taste
foods from some of the most amazing chefs around New
York City. And no matter where you live, I'm sure
you have great restaurants where you are. And you know
(00:50):
what a treat it is to go out and to
treat yourself and your partner to go out and have
a nice night out and to enjoy these wonderful restaurants.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But where's our food coming from?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And that is something that we are going to talk
about today, and we are going to talk about the
Ann Saxilby Legacy Fund, because this is an amazing organization
and they are doing incredible work. They are working with
small farms to keep them going, to introduce the next
generation to what it's like to take care of a farm,
(01:21):
to work on the farm. And so I'm really happy
to have with me today two really instrumental individuals who
are involved with ASLF. First, we're going to speak with
Andy King. He produced this event. You might know him
from the Netflix documentary Fire Festival. He was very instrumental
in making this event the success that it was and
(01:43):
that it is. Because we will talk about how you
still have an opportunity to get involved with it and
to win some really awesome gifts and prizes and experiences
that will go towards the An sax Willby Legacy Fund.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And we have.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Amy John Harry. She is an apprentice for this year.
She currently resides in Brooklyn. She is very passionate about
abolitionists and decolonial approaches to learning, knowledge and being At NYU,
I love This, she designed her own concentration focused on
the intersections of Black and Native studies, and this summer
she was honored to be part of the black food
(02:21):
sovereignty movement at Detown Farm. Thank you both so much
for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
You're welcome, Michelle. Thanks for having us on.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, thanks for having us Michelle. Sure.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
So tell me a little bit about the an Saxiby
Legacy Fund.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I heard about the Ansoxweed Legacy Fund through another apprentice,
one of my good friends who did who did a
farms day last summer, and she encouraged me to apply.
I wasn't really sure what I was doing at the
end of my university experience, and she was like, this
is an incredible organization kind of like politically oriented and
just like basically working to have a to promote like
different lifestyles and the small food movement. And so I
(02:57):
ended up applying at the end of my end of
my senior year and I got placed in Detroit, and
it was a really incredible experience. It was so transformational
everything about it. I didn't know anybody in Detroit. I
didn't really know much about it, and I was on
Detown Farm, which was a small seven acre vegetable farm,
but there was just such an incredible urban ag movement there.
(03:20):
So I was helping out.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
On other farms in the Detroit area.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I was staying at another farm called Brother in Nature,
and so it was really just this the community that
was the most important thing for me, my coworkers, and
like the Greater Farming Detroit network is really kind of
what made it so inspirational and kind of honestly re
routed what I actually want to do. And now I'm
going to Ghana in a couple months and trying to
just be more committed and get more into AG.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That's incredible.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
And Andy tell me about how somebody can get involved
with this and why they should get involved with this.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, you think about I mean, as we touched on
sort of earlier, the glitz and glamour of today's life
of you know, it's all about social media, all about
I want it now, and everything's fast, fast, fast, and
it becomes a lost art. And I think that the
and sex will be legacy. Fund is doing an incredible
job attracting apprentices. Gosh. I think this year they got
(04:15):
over six hundred applications and ended up being able to
play sixty of them. And I'm sure the applications will
even grow a little bit more this year, and hopefully
we're going to have a few more apprentice apprenticeships available
as well. But this is where as Amy touched on,
I mean, becoming part of a small community, understanding where
your food comes from, understanding how it's grown and how
you grow it the right way, and helping some of
(04:37):
these families who have been in the farming industry for
generations continue on that legacy. And that I think was
Anne sex will be. That was her her vision to
create this kind of a movement, and obviously her death
and the passing of happening so quickly, we're really really
(04:58):
thrilled to be able to embrace her life and embrace
her her visions and to continue to have this foundation
now trying to make all these things that she visualized
and that she vocalized come true. And this is bringing
young people into the farming world through these apprenticeships and
hopefully helping create a career for them and helping struggling
(05:19):
farms across the country and now around the world survive.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah, I'll also say I think that farming is a lifestyle,
and I think that was kind of like the biggest
thing that I realized is everything about my life transformed.
I mean, my health was ten times better I think
my happiness was ten times better. And just also, I mean,
I think that farming is the best flavor probably I
don't think that I've being able to grow something and
(05:43):
pick it and then cook it. I think it just
it really transforms your relationship to food, but also kind
of just I think life in general. I think it's
like a completely different way of being.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And I think.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
ASLF really really touches on that and encourages that, and
that's why so many apprentices honestly end up kind of
changing what they thought that they wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
And who was Anne? Tell me about Anne.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Anne Saxilby was a cheesemonger and quite a visionary, and
she was located right here at Chelsea Market. And that's
what's kind of amazing that we're able to take over
Chelsea Market. You know that they only do it twice
a year, and for us, we're one of those two nights,
and we're able to bring in the top one hundred
and thirty chefs and restaurants and food people in New
(06:29):
York City and actually and be complimented by all the
amazing people here already at Chelsea Market to create this
one night only in the year food experiences you touched
on earlier, like can you imagine going somewhere where it
suddenly Oh yeah, we went to car Bones last night.
Oh and Union Square Cafe and Gramercy Tavern. Oh yeah,
all in one night. Well yeah, you can do it
at our event, which I think is pretty incredible and
(06:51):
would be thrilled today to see how this has blossomed.
And I think you touched on a little bit ago,
but we are so excit and so thrilled. We had
over three thousand people here last night. It's incredible. We
just had a follow up. We said maybe next year
we should have two hundred less, just to make the
flow a little bit better. But one of the things
that we're trying to promote a little bit more because
(07:12):
it'll it'll go through Monday are all our raffle items
and all of our auction items. And can you imagine
my partner and I just restored a little cottage in
Scotland that we've donated to the auction for a one
week's stay with probably ten to fifteen of the best
golf courses nearby around the world. For one of the
raffle items. A raffle ticket is ten dollars. You literally
(07:33):
can win a fournight's stay in Jamaica as just one example.
And so we're trying to promote the auction items and
the raffle items throughout the weekend to try to raise
as much money as possible.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Yeah, so tell me where can we go to purchase
our raffle or auction ticket?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Be the and saxelby legacyfund dot org. And if you
go to that, I think you can be able to
pull up the auction and the raffles and give it
got a visual of what we're offering. But I'm telling
you amazing opportunities, amazing products, and amazing experiences, and I
think that everybody will really enjoy anything that they've been
(08:12):
on or anything. And I think there's going to be
a very happy group of raffle ticket winning Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yes, I was looking at the list yesterday and I
think people were so busy with the amazing food that
was there that maybe they didn't really take in the
like how amazing these raffles are. Because I saw like
jet Blue, like I think a trip for two or
four on Jet Blue, like you mentioned a trip to Jamaica,
your cottage that you're so generously donating in Scotland, I
(08:41):
mean incredible experiences and just ten dollars a ticket.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Can you imagine allt some times do even like a
wine weekend in California, a five bedroom house in mom talk,
I mean it is incredible. So hopefully we're going to
create continue to create some excitement.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Absolutely, so tell me more about what we can do
all year round to help support the ANSAs will Be
Legacy fund well.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
I think when you look, if anybody knows of young
people today that are interested in potentially getting involved with
farming and have a passion about that to reach out
to the organization, I think that would be amazing. I
know that the foundation right now is working on some
partnerships with Pelle Greno to do a dinner series. There's
(09:31):
a series of fundraisers that some fundraisers that take place
during the year that people can get involved with as well.
But you know, for any small charity, as you know,
and any small foundation, the fundraising is the most difficult
part because think about it, we pay for the interns,
the apprentices, for their living expenses, for their travel expenses,
(09:54):
for potentially car rentals, for food, and so it costs
a fair amount of money for each to get them
into these farms and to make a difference. And so
the fundraising aspect is probably to be able to go
online and to go to the ansacs of the Legacyfund
dot org and say, oh, yeah, there's fifty dollars, here's
one hundred dollars. But and there'll be different announcements I
(10:17):
think that will take place throughout the year that will
kind of give people, I think, an idea of what's
going on and how they can get involved. For sure,
even the program of like giving ten dollars a month,
I mean, you can imagine just something as small as
that can make a huge difference as well. So we're
(10:37):
thrilled to be aligning with you today, Michelle, and so
appreciative for your support. And I'm so happy that you
got to come last night and enjoy and see what happens.
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Yes, it's these chefs.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Are embracing all of these apprentices. It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
It really is incredible, And I can't thank you, Amy,
thank you both so much for joining me today on
Passport Mommy. I look for staying in touch. I look
forward to seeing you again next year and also helping
to spread the word because I think this is amazing
work that you're doing.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Well.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah, thank you, Michelle, My pleasure. I'm Michelle Jurson, the
Passport Mommy. More coming up than a few. You're listening
to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jurson, and today our health
topic centers around generalized postular psoriasis, a chronic and potentially
life threatening skin condition marked by painful postures. The experience
(11:28):
can be both intense and isolating, and sometimes requiring emergency care.
So I'm really happy to have on the show with
me today, doctor Adam Friedman. He is a professor and
chair of Dermatology at George Washington University School of Medicine
and Health Sciences. And Mary Robinson, she is living with
generalized postular psoriasis.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Thank you so much for both of you for joining
me today. Thanks for having us our pleasure.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Tell me a little bit about the disease along with
the unique challenges that people with GPP five.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Yeah, you hand it off very nicely in describing this
is a chronic inflammatory disease that affects the entire body,
but notably you'll see it on the skin anywhere on
the body, and it's really experienced as rashes that can
be painful, itch flaky, But most importantly these non infectious pustules,
which are blisters filled with pus. But this goes well
(12:23):
beyond the skin. This can affect joints. Individuals often have fevers,
they have lethargy, and this can lead to hospitalization. These
flares can come out of nowhere, and I think that
adds to the burden of this condition, which can affect
every facet of life. We're talking about career, social life, personal, family,
and I think one of the bigger issues, which I
(12:44):
think Mary can speak to, is the fact that there
isn't a lot of information out there, at least not
to date, and so often misdiagnosis or delay in diagnosis
is the common theme. But we're here to change that.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Great Mary, So tell me how has GPP impacted your everyday.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
GPP has definitely impacted my everyday life, from social to working,
being a parent, just living life in general. GPP is
one of those things that I have a switch on
in the back of my head that never gets turned off,
because I always have to be aware what I'm doing,
where I'm going, what's going to affect me, what's going
to cause a flair. So it's not something that you
(13:21):
can turn off. It's a switch that, like I said,
it stays on, and I have to make sure that
I take care of myself to prevent a flare up.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Living with GPP sure and as a parent, you mentioned
it affects your parenting, and we all know that we
have to be strong and stay as healthy as we
can so that we can be there for our kids.
So when you say that you have to do whatever
you can to prevent a flare up, what are some
steps that you take?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
Sure, So one of the steps I take is self care,
Like I do, give my time to step away from
being a parent. It's a relaxation tide. Another thing is,
you know, I have to control the controllables. You know,
I know a lot of times we want to control everything,
but unfortunately we can't. So I have to control the
controllables that I can control that can prevent me from
(14:10):
having a fleura. One of those big controllables is stress.
Always tell everyone I cannot be stressed. So if I
feel I'm you know, going into a stressful situation things
of that nature, then yes, I will back out quit
because that's one thing that will cause GPP to act up.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, And you know what, that's good advice for everyone
because stress can cause so many chronic issues on a
daily basis, just dealing with stress, So I think that's
so wonderful and I applaud you for managing that because
I know it's not easy, especially with kids. So what
does the first ever GPP Awareness Day mean to the
both of you?
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Yeah, I mean I got to give a huge shout
out to Berner Engelheim for sponsoring this national awareness day
because it goes back to the lack of awareness, lack
of information. You know, when Mary first to start developing symptoms,
she couldn't find information to direct her to the right diagnosis.
Misdiagnosis was the theme of the day. So having this
information out there and anyone listening can go to gppanmed
(15:13):
dot com to learn more. But I'm grateful that we
have this day to really celebrate this condition and ensure
that people are getting the help that they deserve.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Absolutely, So, Mary, what does it mean to you?
Speaker 7 (15:25):
It definitely means a lot to me. I have a
community that we've kind of built and put together where
I can actually talk to someone that's going through the
same things that me. Education is the key. As he
mentioned earlier, when I first started his journey, I didn't
have a lot of information, didn't have a lot of resources,
didn't have a lot of people I can talk to
(15:45):
to ask questions things of that nature. So it does
mean a lot to bring awareness to the condition so
that everyone could be aware. Even people who are not
experiencing the condition, they can be aware for others that
are around them that are experiencing it.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Absolutely, so where can we go from more information about GPP?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
So GPP andmeed dot com is probably going to be
your best resource. Others include ad dot org, which is
part of the American Academy of Dermatology. The great news
is there's good information and there's help out there for
this rare condition that rarely has a mild impact on
someone's quality life.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And if somebody first, how would somebody think, you know, what,
maybe I do have generalized popular psoriasis. What would be
the first things that they should look at and say,
maybe I need to seek out help.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
I think it's never about decision to seek out the
help of a board certified dermatologist. There are three thousand
plus skin hair and nail diseases. It's better to go
to the expert than to go down the rabbit hole
of doctor Google. So help is out there. I promise
you that. So I think when in doubt, seek out expert.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Opinion, great advice.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Thank you so much, doctor Adam Friedman, Mary Robinson, thank
you for joining me today on Passport Mommy.
Speaker 8 (17:00):
Thanks about you.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Coming up next on Passport Mommy, I spoke with a
pretty remarkable author who's written a book all about bouncing back,
about moving forward when times are rough. And this particular
woman has been through a lot in her life, and
she is leading such a successful, rewarding life currently and
(17:22):
did not let the past define her. I think she's
incredibly motivational. So you definitely want to stick around and
hear what's coming up next, and don't forget you can
always download the podcast of Passport Mommy on any of
the podcasting platforms, so you can listen any time of
day when you're doing the laundry, making dinner, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I'm Michelle Jerson. More coming up in a few.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You're listening to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jerson, and I'm
so thrilled to have this next author on the show.
Her name is Martine Miria Gane, and she has written
the book All Is Well, a memoir of loss, survival,
and inner and I feel like, especially in times like this,
we probably all could use a book like this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Thank you so much for joining me today, Mattein. Thank
you for having me my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
So what made you decide to write this book? What
was your inspiration?
Speaker 8 (18:16):
So the writing the book actually started after I was
gang raped six years ago, and uh, it wasn't just
it wasn't for writing a book. I didn't have any
therapy or anything to help me, so I had to
help myself how to overcome that trauma. So I started
(18:38):
searching how like how to help rape victims, and one
of the therapy methods that was advised was to like
exposure therapy, to write things down and then read it
out loud, over and over again until until your brain
gets used to it. So that's that's how it started.
But then I realized, because I have had so many
(19:01):
tragedies in my life growing up and in every steps,
I thought, what if I do this for everything that
is still hanging as a trauma in my life. And
when I did that, I found it very helpful because
when I shared some of those stories with some of
my friends, just telling them, I noticed how impressed or
(19:22):
just encouraged and inspired they were. And then I thought,
what if I can help people with my story, So
then it wouldn't be just the painful memory, it would
be something that help other people to move forward and
know that no matter how bad the pain is, it's
it's possible to move forward from it. So that's how
it started.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Wow. Wow, I mean, it's just incredible. I can't believe.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I mean, number one, that you could put your traumas
out there for others. And number two, it's so interesting
because you hear so many times people just say, go
to therapy, go talk it out, you know, but like
you said, maybe one you don't have access to it,
or two you just it doesn't work for everyone.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
Yes, I live in Japan and it was hard to find.
I had an English speaking therapist in our university. I
tried to get him to help me, and even though
he kept saying he's a trauma psychologist, but he wasn't
really helping. So I even searched and sent him some
links about how to help trauma victims, and I told him, Hey,
(20:27):
can we work on this together so that I could
stop having flashbacks or at least minimize them. And he
was offended by that and said, hey, I consider myself
a trauma psychologist. I don't need you to send me links.
And then I thought, hey, I don't have to sit
around and wait for other people to come and help me.
What if I'm a scientist. I can search things and
(20:48):
learn and do it by myself. And then maybe it
would have been better if I had helped. But then
I thought it would be better than nothing if I
just take matters in your own hand.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And so what would you say is the difference between say,
victimhood and survival.
Speaker 8 (21:08):
Oh, that's one of the actually one of my aims
for people. I want one of the messages I want
people to get is that there's a difference, like victim.
I don't like it when people get stuck in a
of course trauma will affect people, but being a victim
means to be to stay stuck in that pain. But
(21:32):
survival means move forward from it and try to rebuild
and learn and get better. That's one of the like
when I first came to Japan, I couldn't speak. I've
never been sent to any English class when I was
in Iran. So my reading and writing was okay because
I studied on my own, but my speaking and listening
(21:54):
was just almost zero. So I started watching English TV
shows like American TV shows to learn English. And one
of the cultural things that surprised me was I felt
like victimhood was kind of celebrated. For example, if someone
had a difficult childhood, it was okay, like they they
(22:18):
it sounded like that that's an excuse for them to
fail in school or later becoming the rug addict, and
it was like, okay, it's acceptable he had a tough childhood.
And I wanted people I mean, of course trauma is hard,
but I wanted people to learn that that message that
shouldn't define who they are. They can always move forward,
(22:41):
and you only get one life. You don't want pain
to have you stuck in that situation.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Right, right?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
And so how does one get unstuck? How do you
advise people? How do you hope that your book will
help motivate others?
Speaker 9 (22:58):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (22:59):
I hope that people don't let that like feeling a stock,
define them, just maybe sit with the pain for a while.
And then just take one step at a time. Don't
think about, oh, what's gonna happen in a year or
in two years. Am I ever gonna get better? Am
I ever gonna feel better? Just even taking one step
(23:22):
towards something positive that makes you feel better brings hope.
I think popes just comes step by step and just
taking any action to move outside that painful feeling, it's
gonna help. So just and don't think about odds. I mean,
it's not like if people read my story, they see
(23:45):
like so many things, so many things in my life
were just odds were against me, but I didn't care.
I just I just moved wordward and rebuilt everything.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
That's very motivation.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Was it difficult to relive painful memories while writing the book?
Speaker 8 (24:04):
Oh yeah, I was, like my tears were pouring writing them.
And that's probably one of I mean, I blame I
usually make an excuse of like I haven't recorded an audiobook,
and I say, because I have an accent, I need
to find a native narrator. But I think the main
(24:26):
problem maybe is because I don't think I can read
this story out loud, because I choke up and just
be unable to read so that just shows I still
have so many unresolved trauma.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Right, and I mean, of course, and so I mean
your trauma. I won't even ask the details. But do
you talk about it at all in the book? How
in depth do you get with your traumas?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
Yes, yes, I write everything as much, I think, as
deep as possible. So some people even come to me,
friends who already have read my book, just are surprised
how open I am in my writing.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
No, that's great, and I bet that really helps others.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
How did you realize that your story was so impactful
on other people.
Speaker 8 (25:15):
Because it was impactful for myself as well. I mean,
I'm even learning from my past experiences, even from my
childhood now looking back, every painful story taught me something.
And like now people call me resilient because of what
happened recently for example the gang grave and other stuff,
(25:37):
and they see it as I'm just tough. But it's
not that. It's because growing up I have had so
many tough challenges that that taught me. It was when
you were a child and you're born in a hardship household,
you think that's just life, so that you don't think
(25:59):
it's negotiable. You don't think you have any other choice.
So that can be both good and also difficult, good
because it helps you. Like later, when you face more
difficult challenges, you don't hesitate to just like you don't
hesitate about overcoming it. You just move forward because your
(26:23):
brain is trained just to live and move forward. But
the difficult part is that you don't give yourself permission
to pause and rest. And I remember, I remember one
time when I was a masters student in Iran. So
master degree, at least in Iran is like a middle school.
(26:44):
In order for you to go to high school, you
have to go to middle school, even though the education
the things that you learn is not really that important,
but you just have to go to go to middle school.
So master degree is for anybody who wants to get
a PhD. I couldn't imagine if someone gets a master's
degree and just stops there. So I remember my roommate
(27:06):
was telling me I don't want to I don't I
just want to stop after my master's degree. And I
said why why not? And she said, oh, Martin, I
just don't have motivation anymore to move forward or just
get a PhD for what? And I immediately, like my
brain just instinctively said, so just do it without motivation,
(27:29):
like why? And then we had other friends over and
this all started laughing, and I was confused at what's wrong,
And they said, if it was anybody else, they would
have said, honey, why don't you have motivation, Like, let's
work on that. What's the problem. But because as a child,
I couldn't negotiate anything, I just had to live and
(27:50):
move forward, my brain was like, just do it anyway,
so that sometimes, yeah, to get you out of that
state exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
And you know, I feel it's always a positive, even
in the worst of trauma, if you could take something
positive from it like that, I think you're doing okay.
It's hard, I can't imagine, and I think this book
is extremely motivational for so many people.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Do you plan to write more in the future. What
ideas do you have.
Speaker 8 (28:18):
Right now? I don't have any plan to write anything.
But if later, maybe something worse writing came up, maybe
in a few years, if I had more stories that
could help more people, maybe I would consider it. But
right now my focus is in my scientific works.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
And so you mentioned a lot how you grew up
in Iran and then you moved to Japan. What role
does international context play in your story?
Speaker 8 (28:46):
Oh? International Like when I left Iran and came to Japan,
as I said, for my language problem, I had to
watch a lot of American TV shows, which was for
language was and culture was helped me a lot to see,
like it opened my eyes to realize how to find
(29:09):
my voice. It's the most important thing that helped me
with was to find my voice because I saw how
many things that how many ways that I was treated
me and even other women mostly women were treated was wrong.
And for example, when I was a master Sorry for
(29:30):
talking about rape a lot, but when I was a
master student, my professor raped me and I didn't speak up.
I didn't say anything, and I think most women don't
because the culture blames girls all the time, blames the
woman like maybe you did something, maybe you, I don't
(29:52):
know you. And when I came to Japan and I
watched American Tibisi, I saw how women speak up and
how it's okay. So then the sixteen years later after
that event, I found this website online that they published
so why will trust it's called they published rapist stories
and like abuse the stories and I published my story
(30:14):
there and that gave me some some relief after sixteen years,
just to talk out loud about it. And then the
way my international male friends treated me and the way
I saw how parents treat their children just just helped
me to find my voice and realize how sexism is
(30:39):
just normalized in Iran and how even women have accepted
it and even sometimes they reinforce it, which is sad.
And maybe now it's a little bit better, but at
least in my generation it was very obvious.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah, wow, that's really sad. So where can we go
to get your boss?
Speaker 8 (31:00):
My book is on Amazon and in most countries is
available both in kindle version and paperback.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Terrific.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And so one last question, if you could speak to
you younger self during the most difficult years, what would
you say.
Speaker 8 (31:17):
M I tell her that I've got you, don't worry hmm.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
And what would you tell someone who feels trapped in
a situation they can't change?
Speaker 8 (31:30):
I encourage them that instead of just don't confuse being
like being trapped by with being powerless. Just because you
feel trapped right now, and just because everything seems difficult
right now doesn't mean you can't move forward. Just as
I said, one step at the time, and don't let
(31:50):
that pain define who you, define who you are. Just
look one step in front of you and take take
it one day at the time, and trust me, you
will feel better. Like after people read my story, most
people don't go through as many tragedies as I have
been through, but I still I feel very happy. I
love my life now and I don't let those pain
(32:14):
to define me.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with
me and with the listeners. All Is Well, a memoir
of loss, survival and inner strength matteen Maria Gana. Thank
you so much for joining me today on Passport Mommy.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
You're listening to Passport Mommy.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I'm Michelle Jerson, and you know, I find this next
interview really entertaining because our apartment is always a mess,
and I have to say that, you know, I know
people have different love languages, and some people's love language
is somebody who helps clean up.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And especially if you have kids, you know how important
it is.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And that might seem so unromantic, but according to a
new survey, eighty five percent of Americans say that cleaning
up for someone is an act of love. But cleaning
can also cause friction in relationships too, because nearly two
out of three Americans have been turned off by someone
because their home was messy, and one and three event
(33:15):
in a.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Relationship due to a partner's cleanliness.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
So I'm happy to have with me today on the
show relationship and online dating expert doctor Jess Carbonel. She
is known as the Doctor Ruth of the swipe right
generation because we all know all of the online dating apps,
and we're going to talk about how important cleaning is
in a relationship.
Speaker 9 (33:34):
Hi, doctor Jazz, Hi Michelle, thanks for having me my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
So how important our shared chores to a healthy relationship.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
We know that shared chores are so critical for a
healthy relationship. Seventy five percent of Americans actually say that
sharing chores is more romantic than receiving a gift. And
this is just so remarkable because we think about chores
as being an act of drudgery. But Seventh Generation, which
many of us know is a bio based cleaning product company,
understood that joy can really be brought to individuals through
(34:03):
sharing chores and cleaning together.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Yes, absolutely, And so why is doing chores like even
unprompted such a turn on.
Speaker 9 (34:12):
Well, doing tours unprompted is such a turn on, Michelle,
because so many individuals drive their personal individual harmony and
sense of control through having a clean household, and so
together as a couple, doing chores can really help to
signal and bring collective harmony to your home. In fact,
(34:32):
eight out of ten individuals say that having a clean
home shows your partner how much you care for them.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Right, I agree because definitely, like nobody wants to live
in a mess, and we all know as moms that.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
We always carry the load for everything.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
So to have a full time job, to be taking
care of our kids and then to have to clean
the entire house ourselves, it's really overwhelming and very stressful.
So to have a partner who actually picks up a
vacuum cleaner or cleans up the dish in the kitchen,
I think is a big plus and a sign of respect.
Speaker 9 (35:04):
Absolutely, And as a mom and a partner, I can
say that with absolute certainly too. In fact, seven out
of ten individuals said that they love when someone cleans
for them, which is huge.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Yeah, and so what are some of the biggest cleaning
icks would you say.
Speaker 9 (35:20):
Well, we know that ix around cleaning are really ubiquitous,
but a messy house and dirty laundry are especially a
huge act. And as you mentioned, eight one out of
three individuals have actually broken up with the romantic partner
because of their cleanliness, and six out of ten people
said that they were really frustrated with their partner when
their homes aren't clean.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, and then you hear a lot of times where
guys come home from work and they're like, hey, how
come the house is a mess?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Well, hello once again. You know, maybe you are a
stay at home mom.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Maybe you know that's your full time job and you're
with the kids all day and they make messes and
it's really hard to do everything. So what's some advice
that you could give to couples in order to share
in the responsibility so one person is not resentful that
the other one is not helping.
Speaker 9 (36:04):
Well, I think that thinking about why it's so important
to have a clean home can really help drive connection
between partners because people often are always saying, you know,
I'm upset that the house isn't clean, but they're not
saying why. They're not saying that they drive and get
harmony through having a clean home. So i'd say, having
open conversations in which you're tapping into the idea of
(36:24):
this is my love language. And we know that over
half of people said that having a clean home was
part of their love language. Cleaning is a love language
for them. So we really need to tap into that
and be open and direct with people and our partners
about how cleanliness and a sense of individual and collective
harmony can be really helpful in a household.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
I agree, and you mentioned Seventh Generation.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I personally am a fan of the brand because it
uses a lot of natural ingredients and so especially if
you do have kids, you don't have to worry about
them being around the bleaches and the harmful chemicals, and
so I'm just curious what is your favorite Seventh Generations.
Speaker 9 (37:01):
My favorite Seventh Generation product is the foaming dish spray.
It does the best job of getting all of my
daughter's apple sauce and food off of the plates nice.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
And sometimes people think like, oh, it's natural, it's not
going to work as well, But I haven't found that
to be the case. In their laundry detergent in what
you mentioned, the dish soap and their multipurpose spray, I
always find that they do a really good job.
Speaker 9 (37:22):
Oh same here, and I think it's really important having
a small toddler that I know that her interactions with
different products are going to be safe for her. And
they have a USDA biob seal to certify the amount
of client based ingredients in the product, which really gives
me a sense of comfort as a mom.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Absolutely so, where can we go for more information on
Seventh Generations products as well as where we can find
you for more of your relationship advice.
Speaker 9 (37:48):
Please go to seventh Generation dot com.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
To learn more perfect.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Thank you so much, doctor Jess Carbino. Thank you for
joining me today. I'm Passport Mommy. Thanks for having me
my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I'm Michelle Jerson. Have a wonderful week and thanks for
tuning in.
Speaker 7 (38:06):
M
Welcome to Passport Mommy. I'm your host, Michelle Jerson. This
show is for anyone raising little humans. We feature experts
with tips and advice to enrich the lives of our children.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Mom and dad.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Entrepreneurs tell us their inspiring stories, learn about products that
could make both you and your child's life easier and
more fun. And of course, fellow parents discuss and laugh
about what's happening in their child's world.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Motherhood is a journey. Thanks for joining me onmine.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Welcome to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jerson. So last night
I was at an amazing event at Chelsea Market in
New York City. And who doesn't love a good food event?
And I love these events where you get to taste
foods from some of the most amazing chefs around New
York City. And no matter where you live, I'm sure
you have great restaurants where you are. And you know
(00:50):
what a treat it is to go out and to
treat yourself and your partner to go out and have
a nice night out and to enjoy these wonderful restaurants.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But where's our food coming from?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And that is something that we are going to talk
about today, and we are going to talk about the
Ann Saxilby Legacy Fund, because this is an amazing organization
and they are doing incredible work. They are working with
small farms to keep them going, to introduce the next
generation to what it's like to take care of a farm,
(01:21):
to work on the farm. And so I'm really happy
to have with me today two really instrumental individuals who
are involved with ASLF. First, we're going to speak with
Andy King. He produced this event. You might know him
from the Netflix documentary Fire Festival. He was very instrumental
in making this event the success that it was and
(01:43):
that it is. Because we will talk about how you
still have an opportunity to get involved with it and
to win some really awesome gifts and prizes and experiences
that will go towards the An sax Willby Legacy Fund.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
And we have.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Amy John Harry. She is an apprentice for this year.
She currently resides in Brooklyn. She is very passionate about
abolitionists and decolonial approaches to learning, knowledge and being At NYU,
I love This, she designed her own concentration focused on
the intersections of Black and Native studies, and this summer
she was honored to be part of the black food
(02:21):
sovereignty movement at Detown Farm. Thank you both so much
for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
You're welcome, Michelle. Thanks for having us on.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, thanks for having us Michelle. Sure.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
So tell me a little bit about the an Saxiby
Legacy Fund.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
I heard about the Ansoxweed Legacy Fund through another apprentice,
one of my good friends who did who did a
farms day last summer, and she encouraged me to apply.
I wasn't really sure what I was doing at the
end of my university experience, and she was like, this
is an incredible organization kind of like politically oriented and
just like basically working to have a to promote like
different lifestyles and the small food movement. And so I
(02:57):
ended up applying at the end of my end of
my senior year and I got placed in Detroit, and
it was a really incredible experience. It was so transformational
everything about it. I didn't know anybody in Detroit. I
didn't really know much about it, and I was on
Detown Farm, which was a small seven acre vegetable farm,
but there was just such an incredible urban ag movement there.
(03:20):
So I was helping out.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
On other farms in the Detroit area.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
I was staying at another farm called Brother in Nature,
and so it was really just this the community that
was the most important thing for me, my coworkers, and
like the Greater Farming Detroit network is really kind of
what made it so inspirational and kind of honestly re
routed what I actually want to do. And now I'm
going to Ghana in a couple months and trying to
just be more committed and get more into AG.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
That's incredible.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
And Andy tell me about how somebody can get involved
with this and why they should get involved with this.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, you think about I mean, as we touched on
sort of earlier, the glitz and glamour of today's life
of you know, it's all about social media, all about
I want it now, and everything's fast, fast, fast, and
it becomes a lost art. And I think that the
and sex will be legacy. Fund is doing an incredible
job attracting apprentices. Gosh. I think this year they got
(04:15):
over six hundred applications and ended up being able to
play sixty of them. And I'm sure the applications will
even grow a little bit more this year, and hopefully
we're going to have a few more apprentice apprenticeships available
as well. But this is where as Amy touched on,
I mean, becoming part of a small community, understanding where
your food comes from, understanding how it's grown and how
you grow it the right way, and helping some of
(04:37):
these families who have been in the farming industry for
generations continue on that legacy. And that I think was
Anne sex will be. That was her her vision to
create this kind of a movement, and obviously her death
and the passing of happening so quickly, we're really really
(04:58):
thrilled to be able to embrace her life and embrace
her her visions and to continue to have this foundation
now trying to make all these things that she visualized
and that she vocalized come true. And this is bringing
young people into the farming world through these apprenticeships and
hopefully helping create a career for them and helping struggling
(05:19):
farms across the country and now around the world survive.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah, I'll also say I think that farming is a lifestyle,
and I think that was kind of like the biggest
thing that I realized is everything about my life transformed.
I mean, my health was ten times better I think
my happiness was ten times better. And just also, I mean,
I think that farming is the best flavor probably I
don't think that I've being able to grow something and
(05:43):
pick it and then cook it. I think it just
it really transforms your relationship to food, but also kind
of just I think life in general. I think it's
like a completely different way of being.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
And I think.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
ASLF really really touches on that and encourages that, and
that's why so many apprentices honestly end up kind of
changing what they thought that they wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
And who was Anne? Tell me about Anne.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Anne Saxilby was a cheesemonger and quite a visionary, and
she was located right here at Chelsea Market. And that's
what's kind of amazing that we're able to take over
Chelsea Market. You know that they only do it twice
a year, and for us, we're one of those two nights,
and we're able to bring in the top one hundred
and thirty chefs and restaurants and food people in New
(06:29):
York City and actually and be complimented by all the
amazing people here already at Chelsea Market to create this
one night only in the year food experiences you touched
on earlier, like can you imagine going somewhere where it
suddenly Oh yeah, we went to car Bones last night.
Oh and Union Square Cafe and Gramercy Tavern. Oh yeah,
all in one night. Well yeah, you can do it
at our event, which I think is pretty incredible and
(06:51):
would be thrilled today to see how this has blossomed.
And I think you touched on a little bit ago,
but we are so excit and so thrilled. We had
over three thousand people here last night. It's incredible. We
just had a follow up. We said maybe next year
we should have two hundred less, just to make the
flow a little bit better. But one of the things
that we're trying to promote a little bit more because
(07:12):
it'll it'll go through Monday are all our raffle items
and all of our auction items. And can you imagine
my partner and I just restored a little cottage in
Scotland that we've donated to the auction for a one
week's stay with probably ten to fifteen of the best
golf courses nearby around the world. For one of the
raffle items. A raffle ticket is ten dollars. You literally
(07:33):
can win a fournight's stay in Jamaica as just one example.
And so we're trying to promote the auction items and
the raffle items throughout the weekend to try to raise
as much money as possible.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Yeah, so tell me where can we go to purchase
our raffle or auction ticket?
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Be the and saxelby legacyfund dot org. And if you
go to that, I think you can be able to
pull up the auction and the raffles and give it
got a visual of what we're offering. But I'm telling
you amazing opportunities, amazing products, and amazing experiences, and I
think that everybody will really enjoy anything that they've been
(08:12):
on or anything. And I think there's going to be
a very happy group of raffle ticket winning Yes.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yes, I was looking at the list yesterday and I
think people were so busy with the amazing food that
was there that maybe they didn't really take in the
like how amazing these raffles are. Because I saw like
jet Blue, like I think a trip for two or
four on Jet Blue, like you mentioned a trip to Jamaica,
your cottage that you're so generously donating in Scotland, I
(08:41):
mean incredible experiences and just ten dollars a ticket.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Can you imagine allt some times do even like a
wine weekend in California, a five bedroom house in mom talk,
I mean it is incredible. So hopefully we're going to
create continue to create some excitement.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Absolutely, so tell me more about what we can do
all year round to help support the ANSAs will Be
Legacy fund well.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
I think when you look, if anybody knows of young
people today that are interested in potentially getting involved with
farming and have a passion about that to reach out
to the organization, I think that would be amazing. I
know that the foundation right now is working on some
partnerships with Pelle Greno to do a dinner series. There's
(09:31):
a series of fundraisers that some fundraisers that take place
during the year that people can get involved with as well.
But you know, for any small charity, as you know,
and any small foundation, the fundraising is the most difficult
part because think about it, we pay for the interns,
the apprentices, for their living expenses, for their travel expenses,
(09:54):
for potentially car rentals, for food, and so it costs
a fair amount of money for each to get them
into these farms and to make a difference. And so
the fundraising aspect is probably to be able to go
online and to go to the ansacs of the Legacyfund
dot org and say, oh, yeah, there's fifty dollars, here's
one hundred dollars. But and there'll be different announcements I
(10:17):
think that will take place throughout the year that will
kind of give people, I think, an idea of what's
going on and how they can get involved. For sure,
even the program of like giving ten dollars a month,
I mean, you can imagine just something as small as
that can make a huge difference as well. So we're
(10:37):
thrilled to be aligning with you today, Michelle, and so
appreciative for your support. And I'm so happy that you
got to come last night and enjoy and see what happens.
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Yes, it's these chefs.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Are embracing all of these apprentices. It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
It really is incredible, And I can't thank you, Amy,
thank you both so much for joining me today on
Passport Mommy. I look for staying in touch. I look
forward to seeing you again next year and also helping
to spread the word because I think this is amazing
work that you're doing.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Well.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah, thank you, Michelle, My pleasure. I'm Michelle Jurson, the
Passport Mommy. More coming up than a few. You're listening
to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jurson, and today our health
topic centers around generalized postular psoriasis, a chronic and potentially
life threatening skin condition marked by painful postures. The experience
(11:28):
can be both intense and isolating, and sometimes requiring emergency care.
So I'm really happy to have on the show with
me today, doctor Adam Friedman. He is a professor and
chair of Dermatology at George Washington University School of Medicine
and Health Sciences. And Mary Robinson, she is living with
generalized postular psoriasis.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Thank you so much for both of you for joining
me today. Thanks for having us our pleasure.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Tell me a little bit about the disease along with
the unique challenges that people with GPP five.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Yeah, you hand it off very nicely in describing this
is a chronic inflammatory disease that affects the entire body,
but notably you'll see it on the skin anywhere on
the body, and it's really experienced as rashes that can
be painful, itch flaky, But most importantly these non infectious pustules,
which are blisters filled with pus. But this goes well
(12:23):
beyond the skin. This can affect joints. Individuals often have fevers,
they have lethargy, and this can lead to hospitalization. These
flares can come out of nowhere, and I think that
adds to the burden of this condition, which can affect
every facet of life. We're talking about career, social life, personal, family,
and I think one of the bigger issues, which I
(12:44):
think Mary can speak to, is the fact that there
isn't a lot of information out there, at least not
to date, and so often misdiagnosis or delay in diagnosis
is the common theme. But we're here to change that.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Great Mary, So tell me how has GPP impacted your everyday.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
GPP has definitely impacted my everyday life, from social to working,
being a parent, just living life in general. GPP is
one of those things that I have a switch on
in the back of my head that never gets turned off,
because I always have to be aware what I'm doing,
where I'm going, what's going to affect me, what's going
to cause a flair. So it's not something that you
(13:21):
can turn off. It's a switch that, like I said,
it stays on, and I have to make sure that
I take care of myself to prevent a flare up.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Living with GPP sure and as a parent, you mentioned
it affects your parenting, and we all know that we
have to be strong and stay as healthy as we
can so that we can be there for our kids.
So when you say that you have to do whatever
you can to prevent a flare up, what are some
steps that you take?
Speaker 7 (13:47):
Sure, So one of the steps I take is self care,
Like I do, give my time to step away from
being a parent. It's a relaxation tide. Another thing is,
you know, I have to control the controllables. You know,
I know a lot of times we want to control everything,
but unfortunately we can't. So I have to control the
controllables that I can control that can prevent me from
(14:10):
having a fleura. One of those big controllables is stress.
Always tell everyone I cannot be stressed. So if I
feel I'm you know, going into a stressful situation things
of that nature, then yes, I will back out quit
because that's one thing that will cause GPP to act up.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, And you know what, that's good advice for everyone
because stress can cause so many chronic issues on a
daily basis, just dealing with stress, So I think that's
so wonderful and I applaud you for managing that because
I know it's not easy, especially with kids. So what
does the first ever GPP Awareness Day mean to the
both of you?
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Yeah, I mean I got to give a huge shout
out to Berner Engelheim for sponsoring this national awareness day
because it goes back to the lack of awareness, lack
of information. You know, when Mary first to start developing symptoms,
she couldn't find information to direct her to the right diagnosis.
Misdiagnosis was the theme of the day. So having this
information out there and anyone listening can go to gppanmed
(15:13):
dot com to learn more. But I'm grateful that we
have this day to really celebrate this condition and ensure
that people are getting the help that they deserve.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Absolutely, So, Mary, what does it mean to you?
Speaker 7 (15:25):
It definitely means a lot to me. I have a
community that we've kind of built and put together where
I can actually talk to someone that's going through the
same things that me. Education is the key. As he
mentioned earlier, when I first started his journey, I didn't
have a lot of information, didn't have a lot of resources,
didn't have a lot of people I can talk to
(15:45):
to ask questions things of that nature. So it does
mean a lot to bring awareness to the condition so
that everyone could be aware. Even people who are not
experiencing the condition, they can be aware for others that
are around them that are experiencing it.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Absolutely, so where can we go from more information about GPP?
Speaker 6 (16:03):
So GPP andmeed dot com is probably going to be
your best resource. Others include ad dot org, which is
part of the American Academy of Dermatology. The great news
is there's good information and there's help out there for
this rare condition that rarely has a mild impact on
someone's quality life.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
And if somebody first, how would somebody think, you know, what,
maybe I do have generalized popular psoriasis. What would be
the first things that they should look at and say,
maybe I need to seek out help.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
I think it's never about decision to seek out the
help of a board certified dermatologist. There are three thousand
plus skin hair and nail diseases. It's better to go
to the expert than to go down the rabbit hole
of doctor Google. So help is out there. I promise
you that. So I think when in doubt, seek out expert.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Opinion, great advice.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Thank you so much, doctor Adam Friedman, Mary Robinson, thank
you for joining me today on Passport Mommy.
Speaker 8 (17:00):
Thanks about you.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Coming up next on Passport Mommy, I spoke with a
pretty remarkable author who's written a book all about bouncing back,
about moving forward when times are rough. And this particular
woman has been through a lot in her life, and
she is leading such a successful, rewarding life currently and
(17:22):
did not let the past define her. I think she's
incredibly motivational. So you definitely want to stick around and
hear what's coming up next, and don't forget you can
always download the podcast of Passport Mommy on any of
the podcasting platforms, so you can listen any time of
day when you're doing the laundry, making dinner, whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I'm Michelle Jerson. More coming up in a few.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You're listening to Passport Mommy. I'm Michelle Jerson, and I'm
so thrilled to have this next author on the show.
Her name is Martine Miria Gane, and she has written
the book All Is Well, a memoir of loss, survival,
and inner and I feel like, especially in times like this,
we probably all could use a book like this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Thank you so much for joining me today, Mattein. Thank
you for having me my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
So what made you decide to write this book? What
was your inspiration?
Speaker 8 (18:16):
So the writing the book actually started after I was
gang raped six years ago, and uh, it wasn't just
it wasn't for writing a book. I didn't have any
therapy or anything to help me, so I had to
help myself how to overcome that trauma. So I started
(18:38):
searching how like how to help rape victims, and one
of the therapy methods that was advised was to like
exposure therapy, to write things down and then read it
out loud, over and over again until until your brain
gets used to it. So that's that's how it started.
But then I realized, because I have had so many
(19:01):
tragedies in my life growing up and in every steps,
I thought, what if I do this for everything that
is still hanging as a trauma in my life. And
when I did that, I found it very helpful because
when I shared some of those stories with some of
my friends, just telling them, I noticed how impressed or
(19:22):
just encouraged and inspired they were. And then I thought,
what if I can help people with my story, So
then it wouldn't be just the painful memory, it would
be something that help other people to move forward and
know that no matter how bad the pain is, it's
it's possible to move forward from it. So that's how
it started.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Wow. Wow, I mean, it's just incredible. I can't believe.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I mean, number one, that you could put your traumas
out there for others. And number two, it's so interesting
because you hear so many times people just say, go
to therapy, go talk it out, you know, but like
you said, maybe one you don't have access to it,
or two you just it doesn't work for everyone.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
Yes, I live in Japan and it was hard to find.
I had an English speaking therapist in our university. I
tried to get him to help me, and even though
he kept saying he's a trauma psychologist, but he wasn't
really helping. So I even searched and sent him some
links about how to help trauma victims, and I told him, Hey,
(20:27):
can we work on this together so that I could
stop having flashbacks or at least minimize them. And he
was offended by that and said, hey, I consider myself
a trauma psychologist. I don't need you to send me links.
And then I thought, hey, I don't have to sit
around and wait for other people to come and help me.
What if I'm a scientist. I can search things and
(20:48):
learn and do it by myself. And then maybe it
would have been better if I had helped. But then
I thought it would be better than nothing if I
just take matters in your own hand.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And so what would you say is the difference between say,
victimhood and survival.
Speaker 8 (21:08):
Oh, that's one of the actually one of my aims
for people. I want one of the messages I want
people to get is that there's a difference, like victim.
I don't like it when people get stuck in a
of course trauma will affect people, but being a victim
means to be to stay stuck in that pain. But
(21:32):
survival means move forward from it and try to rebuild
and learn and get better. That's one of the like
when I first came to Japan, I couldn't speak. I've
never been sent to any English class when I was
in Iran. So my reading and writing was okay because
I studied on my own, but my speaking and listening
(21:54):
was just almost zero. So I started watching English TV
shows like American TV shows to learn English. And one
of the cultural things that surprised me was I felt
like victimhood was kind of celebrated. For example, if someone
had a difficult childhood, it was okay, like they they
(22:18):
it sounded like that that's an excuse for them to
fail in school or later becoming the rug addict, and
it was like, okay, it's acceptable he had a tough childhood.
And I wanted people I mean, of course trauma is hard,
but I wanted people to learn that that message that
shouldn't define who they are. They can always move forward,
(22:41):
and you only get one life. You don't want pain
to have you stuck in that situation.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Right, right?
Speaker 3 (22:49):
And so how does one get unstuck? How do you
advise people? How do you hope that your book will
help motivate others?
Speaker 9 (22:58):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (22:59):
I hope that people don't let that like feeling a stock,
define them, just maybe sit with the pain for a while.
And then just take one step at a time. Don't
think about, oh, what's gonna happen in a year or
in two years. Am I ever gonna get better? Am
I ever gonna feel better? Just even taking one step
(23:22):
towards something positive that makes you feel better brings hope.
I think popes just comes step by step and just
taking any action to move outside that painful feeling, it's
gonna help. So just and don't think about odds. I mean,
it's not like if people read my story, they see
(23:45):
like so many things, so many things in my life
were just odds were against me, but I didn't care.
I just I just moved wordward and rebuilt everything.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
That's very motivation.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Was it difficult to relive painful memories while writing the book?
Speaker 8 (24:04):
Oh yeah, I was, like my tears were pouring writing them.
And that's probably one of I mean, I blame I
usually make an excuse of like I haven't recorded an audiobook,
and I say, because I have an accent, I need
to find a native narrator. But I think the main
(24:26):
problem maybe is because I don't think I can read
this story out loud, because I choke up and just
be unable to read so that just shows I still
have so many unresolved trauma.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Right, and I mean, of course, and so I mean
your trauma. I won't even ask the details. But do
you talk about it at all in the book? How
in depth do you get with your traumas?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
Yes, yes, I write everything as much, I think, as
deep as possible. So some people even come to me,
friends who already have read my book, just are surprised
how open I am in my writing.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
No, that's great, and I bet that really helps others.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
How did you realize that your story was so impactful
on other people.
Speaker 8 (25:15):
Because it was impactful for myself as well. I mean,
I'm even learning from my past experiences, even from my
childhood now looking back, every painful story taught me something.
And like now people call me resilient because of what
happened recently for example the gang grave and other stuff,
(25:37):
and they see it as I'm just tough. But it's
not that. It's because growing up I have had so
many tough challenges that that taught me. It was when
you were a child and you're born in a hardship household,
you think that's just life, so that you don't think
(25:59):
it's negotiable. You don't think you have any other choice.
So that can be both good and also difficult, good
because it helps you. Like later, when you face more
difficult challenges, you don't hesitate to just like you don't
hesitate about overcoming it. You just move forward because your
(26:23):
brain is trained just to live and move forward. But
the difficult part is that you don't give yourself permission
to pause and rest. And I remember, I remember one
time when I was a masters student in Iran. So
master degree, at least in Iran is like a middle school.
(26:44):
In order for you to go to high school, you
have to go to middle school, even though the education
the things that you learn is not really that important,
but you just have to go to go to middle school.
So master degree is for anybody who wants to get
a PhD. I couldn't imagine if someone gets a master's
degree and just stops there. So I remember my roommate
(27:06):
was telling me I don't want to I don't I
just want to stop after my master's degree. And I
said why why not? And she said, oh, Martin, I
just don't have motivation anymore to move forward or just
get a PhD for what? And I immediately, like my
brain just instinctively said, so just do it without motivation,
(27:29):
like why? And then we had other friends over and
this all started laughing, and I was confused at what's wrong,
And they said, if it was anybody else, they would
have said, honey, why don't you have motivation, Like, let's
work on that. What's the problem. But because as a child,
I couldn't negotiate anything, I just had to live and
(27:50):
move forward, my brain was like, just do it anyway,
so that sometimes, yeah, to get you out of that
state exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
And you know, I feel it's always a positive, even
in the worst of trauma, if you could take something
positive from it like that, I think you're doing okay.
It's hard, I can't imagine, and I think this book
is extremely motivational for so many people.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Do you plan to write more in the future. What
ideas do you have.
Speaker 8 (28:18):
Right now? I don't have any plan to write anything.
But if later, maybe something worse writing came up, maybe
in a few years, if I had more stories that
could help more people, maybe I would consider it. But
right now my focus is in my scientific works.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
And so you mentioned a lot how you grew up
in Iran and then you moved to Japan. What role
does international context play in your story?
Speaker 8 (28:46):
Oh? International Like when I left Iran and came to Japan,
as I said, for my language problem, I had to
watch a lot of American TV shows, which was for
language was and culture was helped me a lot to see,
like it opened my eyes to realize how to find
(29:09):
my voice. It's the most important thing that helped me
with was to find my voice because I saw how
many things that how many ways that I was treated
me and even other women mostly women were treated was wrong.
And for example, when I was a master Sorry for
(29:30):
talking about rape a lot, but when I was a
master student, my professor raped me and I didn't speak up.
I didn't say anything, and I think most women don't
because the culture blames girls all the time, blames the
woman like maybe you did something, maybe you, I don't
(29:52):
know you. And when I came to Japan and I
watched American Tibisi, I saw how women speak up and
how it's okay. So then the sixteen years later after
that event, I found this website online that they published
so why will trust it's called they published rapist stories
and like abuse the stories and I published my story
(30:14):
there and that gave me some some relief after sixteen years,
just to talk out loud about it. And then the
way my international male friends treated me and the way
I saw how parents treat their children just just helped
me to find my voice and realize how sexism is
(30:39):
just normalized in Iran and how even women have accepted
it and even sometimes they reinforce it, which is sad.
And maybe now it's a little bit better, but at
least in my generation it was very obvious.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Yeah, wow, that's really sad. So where can we go
to get your boss?
Speaker 8 (31:00):
My book is on Amazon and in most countries is
available both in kindle version and paperback.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Terrific.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And so one last question, if you could speak to
you younger self during the most difficult years, what would
you say.
Speaker 8 (31:17):
M I tell her that I've got you, don't worry hmm.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
And what would you tell someone who feels trapped in
a situation they can't change?
Speaker 8 (31:30):
I encourage them that instead of just don't confuse being
like being trapped by with being powerless. Just because you
feel trapped right now, and just because everything seems difficult
right now doesn't mean you can't move forward. Just as
I said, one step at the time, and don't let
(31:50):
that pain define who you, define who you are. Just
look one step in front of you and take take
it one day at the time, and trust me, you
will feel better. Like after people read my story, most
people don't go through as many tragedies as I have
been through, but I still I feel very happy. I
love my life now and I don't let those pain
(32:14):
to define me.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's great.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with
me and with the listeners. All Is Well, a memoir
of loss, survival and inner strength matteen Maria Gana. Thank
you so much for joining me today on Passport Mommy.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
You're listening to Passport Mommy.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
I'm Michelle Jerson, and you know, I find this next
interview really entertaining because our apartment is always a mess,
and I have to say that, you know, I know
people have different love languages, and some people's love language
is somebody who helps clean up.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And especially if you have kids, you know how important
it is.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And that might seem so unromantic, but according to a
new survey, eighty five percent of Americans say that cleaning
up for someone is an act of love. But cleaning
can also cause friction in relationships too, because nearly two
out of three Americans have been turned off by someone
because their home was messy, and one and three event
(33:15):
in a.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Relationship due to a partner's cleanliness.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
So I'm happy to have with me today on the
show relationship and online dating expert doctor Jess Carbonel. She
is known as the Doctor Ruth of the swipe right
generation because we all know all of the online dating apps,
and we're going to talk about how important cleaning is
in a relationship.
Speaker 9 (33:34):
Hi, doctor Jazz, Hi Michelle, thanks for having me my pleasure.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
So how important our shared chores to a healthy relationship.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
We know that shared chores are so critical for a
healthy relationship. Seventy five percent of Americans actually say that
sharing chores is more romantic than receiving a gift. And
this is just so remarkable because we think about chores
as being an act of drudgery. But Seventh Generation, which
many of us know is a bio based cleaning product company,
understood that joy can really be brought to individuals through
(34:03):
sharing chores and cleaning together.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
Yes, absolutely, And so why is doing chores like even
unprompted such a turn on.
Speaker 9 (34:12):
Well, doing tours unprompted is such a turn on, Michelle,
because so many individuals drive their personal individual harmony and
sense of control through having a clean household, and so
together as a couple, doing chores can really help to
signal and bring collective harmony to your home. In fact,
(34:32):
eight out of ten individuals say that having a clean
home shows your partner how much you care for them.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
Right, I agree because definitely, like nobody wants to live
in a mess, and we all know as moms that.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
We always carry the load for everything.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
So to have a full time job, to be taking
care of our kids and then to have to clean
the entire house ourselves, it's really overwhelming and very stressful.
So to have a partner who actually picks up a
vacuum cleaner or cleans up the dish in the kitchen,
I think is a big plus and a sign of respect.
Speaker 9 (35:04):
Absolutely, And as a mom and a partner, I can
say that with absolute certainly too. In fact, seven out
of ten individuals said that they love when someone cleans
for them, which is huge.
Speaker 3 (35:15):
Yeah, and so what are some of the biggest cleaning
icks would you say.
Speaker 9 (35:20):
Well, we know that ix around cleaning are really ubiquitous,
but a messy house and dirty laundry are especially a
huge act. And as you mentioned, eight one out of
three individuals have actually broken up with the romantic partner
because of their cleanliness, and six out of ten people
said that they were really frustrated with their partner when
their homes aren't clean.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Yeah, and then you hear a lot of times where
guys come home from work and they're like, hey, how
come the house is a mess?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Well, hello once again. You know, maybe you are a
stay at home mom.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Maybe you know that's your full time job and you're
with the kids all day and they make messes and
it's really hard to do everything. So what's some advice
that you could give to couples in order to share
in the responsibility so one person is not resentful that
the other one is not helping.
Speaker 9 (36:04):
Well, I think that thinking about why it's so important
to have a clean home can really help drive connection
between partners because people often are always saying, you know,
I'm upset that the house isn't clean, but they're not
saying why. They're not saying that they drive and get
harmony through having a clean home. So i'd say, having
open conversations in which you're tapping into the idea of
(36:24):
this is my love language. And we know that over
half of people said that having a clean home was
part of their love language. Cleaning is a love language
for them. So we really need to tap into that
and be open and direct with people and our partners
about how cleanliness and a sense of individual and collective
harmony can be really helpful in a household.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
I agree, and you mentioned Seventh Generation.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I personally am a fan of the brand because it
uses a lot of natural ingredients and so especially if
you do have kids, you don't have to worry about
them being around the bleaches and the harmful chemicals, and
so I'm just curious what is your favorite Seventh Generations.
Speaker 9 (37:01):
My favorite Seventh Generation product is the foaming dish spray.
It does the best job of getting all of my
daughter's apple sauce and food off of the plates nice.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
And sometimes people think like, oh, it's natural, it's not
going to work as well, But I haven't found that
to be the case. In their laundry detergent in what
you mentioned, the dish soap and their multipurpose spray, I
always find that they do a really good job.
Speaker 9 (37:22):
Oh same here, and I think it's really important having
a small toddler that I know that her interactions with
different products are going to be safe for her. And
they have a USDA biob seal to certify the amount
of client based ingredients in the product, which really gives
me a sense of comfort as a mom.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Absolutely so, where can we go for more information on
Seventh Generations products as well as where we can find
you for more of your relationship advice.
Speaker 9 (37:48):
Please go to seventh Generation dot com.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
To learn more perfect.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Thank you so much, doctor Jess Carbino. Thank you for
joining me today. I'm Passport Mommy. Thanks for having me
my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I'm Michelle Jerson. Have a wonderful week and thanks for
tuning in.
Speaker 7 (38:06):
M
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