Ep. 11 - Bitter Baby Mamas and Papas

Alii is back and tackling the issues of co-parenting and Bitter Baby Mamas and Papas

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
This is the FCB Podcast Network.This is pillow Talk with Ally Michelle on
the FCB Podcast Network. Welcome backto an episode of pillow Talk with Ellie

(00:25):
Michelle. I am your host,Allie Michelle. Sorry that I have been
m i A. There's just beena lot going on at the homestead.
I will spare you the details,but this topic, it hits home.
I've gone through it. I've beengoing through it for the last twelve years.
We are going to talk about singlemotherhood and what it means to have
a man step in place of thebaby dad and child's father, whatever term

(00:49):
you want to use. I thinkthis will resonate with a lot of people,
men and women. So let's rollinto it now. Like most you
know, we go through custody battlesto figure out our needs for our child
and for ourselves and sometimes selfishly,the other parent or party wants more power

(01:10):
than the other and it's just notright. So quick backstory. I have
been taken to court twice for custody. We have fifty fifty. We've always
had fifty fifty. I never thoughtit shouldn't be fifty fifty brings me back,
brings me to current day. Idon't receive child support because it's fifty
fifty whatever. You want to payyour part, fine, don't want your

(01:33):
money anyway. However, when aemergent, when an emergency situation pops up,
it is up to both the parentsto step up. And sometimes it
doesn't work like that. What Imean is, you know, I reach
out or somebody reaches out, andthe other parent just freaks out about it
because there was a lumps of moneythat needed to be paid in half for

(01:53):
an emergency situation. Now that juststirred the whole thing. Now me,
me, I hate confrontation. WillI engage in apps a freaking lutely,
But do I thrive on confrontation?No, it ruins my day whatever,
and I need like twelve cups ofcoffee. So when you are a single

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mama and you are dating a man, and this man is everything you ever
dreamed of. He supports you financially, mentally, physically, everything. He
is the perfect person or woman,and you have to be that parent with
somebody else. I give so muchcredit to the other party that you know

(02:40):
does not have the chill child oryou know, but is in role of
them and they deserve so much credit. I have a stepfather who stepped in
place. He took the role ofbeing my dad. Is he my dad?
No? But he is my dad, do you know what I'm saying?
So when a when you have abitter baby mama or baby dad,

(03:00):
it makes everything ten times worse threatening. The court system is not okay.
I hope everybody realizes that. Ido believe in the court system to a
point. But yeah, So thepoint being is confrontation. So when you

(03:21):
start pushing the buttons, obviously peopleare going to push back. So what
do men not like? They don'tlike competing with other men period, or
they or they do compete, butit's to establish who's alpha. So me
being me, I said the truth. You know my partner, he pays

(03:43):
for what my child needs. AndI threw that back into the face because
the other party is not there.The point being is you as a parent.
It is is your duty and obligationto be there for your child,
period, doesn't matter when, where, how or why. You have to
be there as a parent. Yourlife is over as a single person.

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You have that other little child dependingon you. Like so many stories,
I hear a woman moves on thebaby dad isn't okay and takes her to
court or vice versa, or somebaby moms are real bitter and keeps her
child away. I have never beenthat one. I don't like it.

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I frown upon it. I mean, obviously, if the other person is
a pos then yes, obviously protectyour child at all costs, but don't
don't threaten the other parent. Likewe as a society have become so prone
and so marinated in the fact thatwe can do it by ourselves. I

(04:45):
mean, sure you could, butto but to educate our children into thinking
you don't need no man or youdon't need no woman, that is totally
false. To rely and have thatother person that you can go to and
confine and have a family with isthe greatest gift. So when it doesn't

(05:08):
work out with somebody else and youfinally find somebody that everything works and everything
is blended and it just it runsso peacefully. That's an amazing thing.
And a lot of women are soscarred from past relationships because the guy was
beating her or cheated on her oreverything, and under the moon same with

(05:30):
a man. Now, I posteda video of the reality of having fifty
fifty You know, moms. Wedo suffer, We do have heartbreaks when
we have to give up our timebecause the reality of it, like when
you have fifty fifty, you onlyhave your child for half of their life,
and then they're eighteen and then theymove out in most cases, and

(05:53):
then they're doing their own life.So that's a hard pillow to swallow.
And a lot of men got angryand said, you should count your blessings
or you try being a man thatonly gets one or two days. I'm
not saying we have a perfect system, but to work together as a unit
for the sake of your child isthe most important job that you will ever

(06:15):
do. You can be a CEOof a company, but to raise a
child to be a thriving and successfulcitizen in person is the most important job
you will ever have. We havea lot of women that degrade women that
want to have children. We havea lot of women that degrade women who
want who are pro life. Whichif you're pro women, you should be

(06:40):
pro life, because that's a that'sa future woman. In my in my
thoughts, in my opinion, weare stripping our youth from the from the
from the reality that being a motheris the best gift. And I'm not

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even talking in a religious point,but to just know that that little human
is yours, and it's and sheor he is there and just if they
know nothing but love, and you'regonna strip that from them, You're gonna
strip life from them. That's disgusting. And a man who is not in

(07:21):
favor of having a child when youknow you guys, you guys had intercourse,
it resulted into a pregnancy, andhe encourages you to not have this
baby. That's a cop out.It's not empowering you, it's not making
you this badass woman. This isliterally somebody who wants to get rid of

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responsibility. And you should run,run, run, run, and never
turn back. Now, when youdecide to have a child, abortion is
out of the question. You takeon that responsibility for life. It's not
It doesn't stop at eighteen. Reasoninga child does not stop at eighteen.
They may move out on their ownand do their own thing. But having

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a child and being a parent isa lifelong commitment, and it is the
best lifelong commitment. You buy ahouse, you have a thirty year mortgage.
After thirty year mortgage, you haveyour house. Why is that any
different from a child, I know, a child in a house or not
the same. But if you're willingto make that commitment and that's a house,

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that's an inanimate object, just thinkabout it and then you okay,
So you turn around, you haveyou have a child. In my case,
I was seventeen, had a baby. He's been he's my baby.
Father and I separated when my sonwas three months old. Best decision ever,

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abusive, all of that mentally andphysically, and then moved on the
next relationship wasn't the best, butit is what it is. But point
being is that father is in mylife whether I like it or not.
Now me, I try to workwith the relationship. I try to bring

(09:18):
up my child knowing that you doneed your dad and you do need your
mom. They need their parents.If you know, a successful child leads
a father in their life, especiallya son. Now brings me to the
court system. We get better,we get angry, We act on emotions,
but to put your child in themiddle of a courtroom into belittle the

(09:43):
other parent is never okay. Butit does not mean you should not have
that baby in fear of that andfear of oh I won't be able to
give them a great life. Lifein itself is great. Throw everything else
if your thoughts away, life itselfis great. I'm looking at a picture

(10:05):
of my son and I'm getting reallyemotional. It's just, you know,
how could you want to strip anotherparent from their life. I'm not saying
every case is perfect, and I'msaying and I'm not saying that every parent
should be involved in their life,because there are some people that really shouldn't
be a parent, but they choselife and for that I'm grateful. But

(10:31):
to threaten a parent with the courtsystem along with a child is abuse.
It's narcissistic, it's abusive, andit's never okay if you're going to take
to court, take to court andhandle it as adults. They're so today's
society is a bunch of cry babiesthat run to run to abuse, run

(10:52):
to narcissistic behavior, run to abusivebehavior, because that's all they've known.
We need to start changing how weare presenting our selves in society. We
need to start changing how we areas parents. We need to be the
voice of our child. If theother parent is not doing something that's healthy,
it's up to the other parent tonever a let your child think otherwise.

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Both parents, in the child's eyesshould be angels, because bitter baby
moms are out here throwing around,dragging around men's names, their dads,
their baby dad's names, and theymight be the most best dad there is,
but he didn't want to be withthe woman anymore, so she takes

(11:37):
him to court, strips him ofhis rights, pays child support for eighteen
years. Baby dads mom moves on. She's with a new guy. He's
bitter, he's angry that she's foundthis man who's who's in place of him,
and he's not okay, So hetakes her to court. The court
can go either way in Ohio witha man. In my case, it
was fifty fifty. I never evenfought it. I believe fifty fifty is

(12:01):
fair, despite my feelings as amother, despite myself, I could not
be selfish in that moment. Andthat is the hardest pill you have to
swallow, is having to share thattime with your little baby that you carried
for nine months. So I'm justsaying we need to focus on being better

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citizens, better parents. Stop listeningto the media, step listening to these
bougie rappers. These bougie hip hopartists that are or even the pop the
bougiest is pop artists. You know, they are the most outspoken about not
raising children. I'm so glad thattheir parents chose life because now they're living

(12:52):
this successful life. Most most artistsyou hear come from nothing, come from
poverty, and now they're making billions. And while screaming at you don't have
kids, leave a woman's body alone. But there is a body in that
body, no matter if you're goingto go through lifelong corp battles, if
they have health issues, if you'renot wealthy, life matters. Children matter.

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Raising a child to be the mostinnocent person matters. And with that,
I'm gonna let you guys ponder onthat. I'm getting too deep and
I will see you guys on thenext one. Don't forget to follow me
though on TikTok at Allie Underscore Michelletwelve is that twelve Oh, I can't

(13:41):
remember my handle at Allie Underscore onMichelle two eyes on Instagram at Allie Underscore
twelve two Eyes my Facebook Allie Michelle, and obviously, don't forget to subscribe
to the podcast, share it withyour friend's, share it with your baby,
dad's share it with your baby.Better baby, mamas, and I
will see you guys on the nextone. This has been a presentation of

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the FCB podcast Network, where realtalk lifts. Visit us online at FCB
podcasts dot com.