October 29, 2025 • 25 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All time favorites a mercy. Well today the Kingfish had
(00:25):
a hard day at the pool hall, and as he
returns home, he finds his wife's scipphire all excited. She's
just received a letter from her sister in Georgia. Oh
hold else, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Come in, George, I got some wonderful news from back
home in Georgia.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, my youngest sister and sister's gonna get married.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh so your mama finally unloaded the last one. Huh?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Why do you mean, George, Mama and I had no
trouble getting us girls married.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Why back home.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We was the bells of the town.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah, I remember that, honey. And when you got married,
they call it the miracle of the bells. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, anyway, George, I ain't gonna miss my sister's wedding.
Me and you is going down to Georgia for two weeks.
It'll be a wonderful vacation for him.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
What you mean, I can't take no vacation. I gotta
stay here for business reasons. Business reason? Yeah, who gonna
pick up my unemployment check? They don't bail them things
to you know, you gotta go ahead of them.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Look at me and you is going to Georgia for
my sister's wedding. The round trip tickets is about one
hundred dollars and it's up to the provider of this
family to raise the money.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, it's all that with me, honey. But do you
think you can get a job on such short nodles?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
George, this is your responsibility. The wedding is one week
from today. We is gone and you has got to
get that hundred dollars for the railroad tickets. At nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Mm, that old girl is getting more unreasonable about a minute.
Next thing, I know you're gonna ask me to start
supporting her. So that's the story. Henry Sophire just laid
down the Lord tell me about getting one hundred dollars
(02:05):
to take this trip to Georgia. Well, a trip south
at this special time would be delightful because the weather
here is simply had been abdominal. He love, my waif
was always making trouble for me one weird other. And
it's just like I've always said, Kingfish, marriage would be
a wonderful institution if a woman wasn't mixed up in
the thing. Me go to Georgia. The seathre as sister
(02:27):
get married. Yes, I don't blame you. My wife dragged
me to a big society wedding last week. The social
missus Angelus smythe of New York and Miami Beach got
herself fixed up to mister Pats Wilson of the Department
of Sanitation. More. Yes, after the wedding, we all went
up to the bride's home for a very formal receptacle.
(02:49):
Did they have a nice wedding, Yes, but they ran
into a little difficulty. Two to the recent snows here
in New York, there was no roses in bloom at
the time of the ceremony. And you know what these functures.
It's customary for the flower girls to scatter rose petals
down the isle at the very head of the nuptial's possession. Yeah, well,
without rules is what did you do? Well? They got
(03:11):
the effect of the rose petals by painting some potato
chips rare, and the flower girl scattered the potato chips
the head of the position. Huh. Yes, it was quite
a thing to hear the bride and groom come crunching
down the aisle. Them potato chips must made quite a mess.
It was messy but the groom picked up the debris
(03:33):
the following day when he made his rounds on the
sanitation truck. Well S're gonna have a tough time raiding
on a hundred bucks between now and next Tuesday. I
wonder if I could inviiggle one hundred dollars to handy.
It would have to be a very clever wiggle. Boys.
Andy told me that he was gonna take the money
he's gotten by hisself automobile more. The boy gonna get
(03:54):
herself a new car. Huh yes, And the only thing
that's holding it up is that the dealer can't promise
him to right for four or five months. Oh yeah,
that new car situation is still tough for it it
show is I heard that the only cars that you
can get quick delivery on is the foreign makes. Uh
you say that you hear that the quick deliveries is
the foreign make car. That's right, and it wouldn't surprise
(04:17):
me to see Andy buy one of those neither. Well
now foreign make cause wait a minute, Henry, I just
got a flicker of light, A flicker of light. If
I played my cars right, I might be able to
flick in the out of one hundred dollars and light
right in Georgia. Well, I got this picture of this
(04:46):
foreign car to the color of Old Life magazine. Yeah,
that's a feign call right now if I can just
convince the end. Oh here, come down the hall. Let
me get on the telephone. Hello, that kings ascume me
a minute and just making a trans atlantic telephone call.
Why as you call him Frans Atlantic? Oh? Why because
I was the agent for the new French foreign automobile
(05:07):
and I want to talk to the manufacturer. Wait a minute,
a hello operator? Is this the French operator? Give me
crape sous at four nine three Salem Born Mac call.
Do this company know how to make them? Do they
know how to make them? Hy? This man that I
called him in France is one of the greatest automobile
men in the world. Hello France, Let me talk to
(05:30):
Madman Tierre. I think I heard him somewhere. Hello, hello, madman. Oh,
this is George Stephens New York office.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
We we.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Bonus not just see you too. Yeah, I just received
the picture of your new call. Congratulations mercy bo coup
coupe hula la uh huh. Well remember me to the
lit a mad woman and say hello to miss Eiffel Tower.
(06:04):
Who came, mad Man Bonvoyd? Thank King Fish? Where drew me?
The big frenchman like that? Oh? I noted him for
years and it doing the First World War while me
and him was Mademoiselle together in the French foreign legions,
you see, and the ires node. I had noted him
for so ever since then now right this minute, I
(06:24):
is the American distributed for the new French automobile. You
was now standing in the showroom of the Paris More
to come their Harlem brand, No Fulham. What is the
name of the car? You saw the name of the
car's node in the trade as the quick delivery merc
of these bends one hundred dollars deposits straight eight. That's
what they call. You know, that's a funny thing. I've
(06:47):
been trying to get a car myself. What did the
car look like? Well, now, I just happened to have
a picture of it that was sent by a while
from Paris just yesterday. Where is that? Oh here, hey,
I looked that over. Yeah, say, Kingfish, that's a good
looking automobile. Or oh that's pretty look at them lines.
Hey wait a minute, to wait a minute. They unstuck
(07:07):
the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car.
Oh no, no, that's why they call it the mercy
of these bends before they send it over here, the
bends there, staring wheel over that side. I see. Well
I like American cars. Well now cool, forget it, and
they're fine cars. Is more economical to run they is?
Why as that? Because and over there they all runs
(07:28):
on kilometers? Yeah, well it does them. Killometers wear out
as quick as tires. Oh no, and they killometers is
distance over there? We measured distance in miles. Killometers are
shorter than miles. So there you is. When you drives
in France, you ain't got so far to gold. See
what I mean to get cold? Yeah? Yeah, that's who
(07:48):
cut down the distance. Look here, kingfish, if I ordered
one of them French cars, when could I get it? Well, now,
let me do a little stick in here. Uh we
place this the order today by radar.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
The thing has got to be custom and then they
got to created up ship the car from France the
United States. Let me see, four thousand miles, two thousand
miles goes into customs. How about Thursday of this week?
Tell me this? How can they make cars faster there
than weekend here in America because they were smart and
there's done. Star solved the steel problem. But how they
(08:21):
do that? They got stealed from us. Well, how much
of this French car sell for? Well, now you give
me a hundred dollars deposit and the grand totals up
to sixteen hundred dollars. Fob. That means Frank's on the
barrel head. And I wait a minute, wait a minute.
I ain't letting you have no money til I seized
the car. And boy, that is defferent. Oh no, listen, man,
(08:42):
you be in the car driving up Lennox Avenue, all
them gals but twenty one years old, was sitting over
there on the street. They're looking at you. You got
a new car, they got the new look. And you
saw the glance over at them and smiled at some
pretty gal and say.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It old little children, Yeah, little shill.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
From many are.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I hears the horn of blowing, I hear it's near
at hand. I hear the car wheels rumbling and rolling
through this land. Don't get on board, just get on,
boulb don't get on bobo.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
The children, that's computed your ball. The children compom with
your more. I hear a car coming. She's coming round
the car. I hear the wheels rumb she's fading everywhere,
she's faining every new Come on, let's children, come on,
(09:43):
let Kevin, come on, let's Kevin from my many. I'm
wonge on board. Let's get on. Don't get a ball,
don't get on Bobo and the children. That's compoted you
more rolling man, a rocket man, a ranger, just a
rock in, just a smoking talking down that long long
road and rock in man all and jumping out. Then
(10:06):
I think I like him a heavy nothing worries me.
I am happy as I can be. Me and two
or three in my model teams. Come on, come on
right my maney, I'm long on board. The children's get
on board. All the children. Don't get on board the children.
(10:31):
There's room already. Well going shortte barber shop here and
(11:03):
see if you knows where I can get a new car.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Hello, that short where I'll be dog going that I
didn't much cooker, you got high kake fuh.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Charloty live you can help me here. I gotta get
a fine car in a hurry.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Oh there is classy looking already. I had a roamster once.
Now I wanted to make it look like a fine car,
so so I had the steering wheel put over on
the right hand side.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Moved the steering wheel. Hunh oh.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
But when I come down to the street, everybody look
at the cause I was driving at a slam.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Well why was you driving to the slam?
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Because the breaking the crutch was still over on the left.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Love me, shorty, I gonna tell you the whole situation.
I need one hundred dollars for me and the way
to get a railroad ticket to Georgia. And I can
get the hundred dollars from in it if I can
just show him a foreign car.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Yeah, stay with him in a king fish, I got it.
A friend of mine has got all that he let
you have.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
He built it herself.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
It could pass for a foreign car to it. He
has some great shame except for wonder thing.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well what's that? Well, you see ther it ain't got that.
You get no motor, no motor.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
You see, I have the fellow a building he he
couldn't find the motor for it, and right now it's
sitting in his garives.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
He'll give with you if you just tow it away. Yeah,
I tell you what I'll do. I'll get that and
I'll put it over the large hall and I'll find
something with a French name on it and put it
on the front of the radio. Yeah that's a good idea. Well,
King things. I gotta leave now where you're going, shorty.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I gotta go over to the hospital and see a fella.
His face is all slashed and cut up.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Had his face get all slashed and cut up?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Well, you see, he was hit by he fell down
the beach a puck getting in and he was walking.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I think bus that I would get. I shaved him.
Come on in the office and there got some great
news for you. Yeah, what is the news from France?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
What a lucky fella you is? Yeah, just talk the
madman Pierre again. And he told me that he was
gonna let you have a nineteen forty nine model and
it arrived this morning. Oh that's great. Where's it? Oh
in the showroom, right up here in the large or
come on follow me here. Oh boy ey, it's crazy
to see this new call right through this door here
and then now right over there there she sets in
(13:33):
there between them two ferns, pretty in it. The prince
then is yeah, the head of us on design. And
to notice the underslung buddy, Yeah, I wonder who slung
that together. Oh look at that pin job there, wonderful
pink job. That's big enamel finish big right on there
(13:54):
looks a little overdone in the spots. To me, this
is a genu wine French car. Oh certainly an you
want come up here and look at the name plate
on the front of it. There the name plate is
made out of paper to cut it on the wind
resistance here too, d say, here made in France, and
the name of the car is Sparkling Burgundy. Oh wonderful man. Hey,
(14:16):
wait a minute, look here it say vintage of nineteen
thirty four. What did that vintage means a French word
means convertible or it is wonderful thing. And the nineteen
thirty four? Is this a nineteen thirty four model? Or
don't be silly? And well what do the nineteen thirty
four stand for?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Horsepower? Oh now, wait a minute, here, wait a minute.
How can they get nineteen hundred and thirty four horse
power in that little car? They use smaller horses, that's
all they do. Now, step right over here and look
at the inside of it. Look through the window there.
Look at that upholstered genuine leather red oil clause. Or
you slide in and out their blue third suit, go
(14:53):
right through their model minute. Yeah, you know, it's kind
of hard to get used to this foreign stuff. Let
me see the motor, came fish, U we want to
see the motor huh uh? Well, now that's what it
goes planned under the mortar is sealed under the hood
to keep a dust free seal and oil another one
of these things. Yes, and knowing that you would be
(15:14):
just the one that would want to start tamping with
the mortar. Eyes done, had a pad lock welded on there,
so you can't get in there and get in trouble.
And I don't throw the keys away. Well, tell me this, kingfish,
how do you get to the motor case? Something go
wrong through the exhaust pipe, that's how you that that
(15:39):
is a little unhandy in it. Look ahead, sports, something
go wrong with that motor, Now, how can I get
it fixed? Very simple and there, all you got to
do is to find a mechanic with a long stin arm.
That's all he got to Yeah, well, maybe I ought
to take it. Oh yeah, you ought to take it
and take it right away. Okay, here you is kinkfish.
Here's one hundred dollars down framing. I'll buy it right
the deal is closed. I want to take it out
(16:01):
for a little spin right now. Uh, I hate to
tell you this and there, but you're gonna have to
hold off a little on your spinning. You see. Being
a French car, this car don't run on gasolion. It
runs on petrol. And in a drop of petrel in
this country at the moment, Well, why couldn't I use
gas instead?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Now, gonna splain that to you too. And well, uh
you see the American gasolion it's got to sing in
and called. I can now these feign cars has got
a narrow gas. I'm the I can just won't go
through it. That's a whole tug wag it up close,
it right up every time. But I spect them the
ship of the petrol, and that's what you'll be the
first one on the list there, that's all I want.
(16:47):
When is that coming in? Well? Now, I was leaving
for Georgia withning away for a couple of weeks and
the petrol ought to get here just for the time
I'll get back. Well, I guess I gotta wait for Limba. Well,
I gotta run along now. And there are audiold bush
nitches and all that hold on kings. Let me take
a good look at my car. Leave. I'll open the
(17:07):
door and get in there and sit down. Hm. Well
that door hanging open. I guess when Pierre tried to
get in one of these cars, that's when he started
calling himself madman. Well, hello, Dan, what you doing here?
(17:27):
Come over here, amos. I want to see my new car.
This is yours? Huh sys you must be going in
the soapbox derby. Wait a minute. This is the latest
French automobile, the mechanic with a long arm or sealed
under the hood. What is that again? It's got a
(17:50):
leatherette motor with small horses in a too. I just
see the king face. Leave here. Did he tell you
that thing? Well, I give him a hundred dollars down famous.
He's going to get me some petrol too. Tell me
this who stuck that label on the front of it
from a bottle of sparkling Burgundy? I think the madman
done it? This car, you know? Good? And look at
(18:10):
that that Kingfish is done stuck you again? Look at
that You ain't even got no windshield on you got
is the frame there? I thought that glass was awful clean.
You better get your money back then. Yeah, just wait
till I get my hands on that Kingfish. And if
I ever get to France where they make these cars,
are going to be two mad men over there. I'll
tell you that. Well show put one over one end.
(18:53):
It was that foreign Cabsn't I better lock of my
office here and lay lord till tomorrow when I get
on the train for Georgia. Then I'll be safe. Oh hello,
I just leaven Well you ain't leaving? Back up, I said,
back up? I hope I'm backing. You don't have to
be so roughable. I want to have a showdown with
you about that automobile you showed me. Oh, by the way,
(19:13):
I just had a nice talk with Madman Pierre again.
The petrel is on his way over here. King Fish,
I'm gonna punch you right in the nose. You took
my one hundred dollars just so you and your wife
could take a trip to Georgia. I want my money back.
I'm gonna beat you like you ain't never been beat before.
Strike me if you must, remember I as an official,
a French automobile dealer, which comes under the Jewish dictionary
(19:35):
of the French government. And if you strike me, it
will be the Pearl Harbor of nineteen forty eight. Wait
a minute, what's pearl harbor got to do with me
busting you in the face? And you is forgetting the
I as a French car dealer, and in that capacity
I ain't no longer George Stevens, the Kingfish. It is
a symbol of France, all right, symbol put up your dukes.
(19:57):
Remember my innocent friend. Hitting me is just slugging Joan
of arc who you know what? Fifty million frenchmen go
swarm all over you are. Now Wait a minute, headed
the ignorant. Even though West Frenchman give you the statue
of liberty you got in your harbor here, you know
what that means that America and France will be at
warf you hit me and Andy Brown will go down
in history as a warmongol. Wait in a minute, now,
(20:21):
King Fish, just hold everything here with it. Don't try
to tell me that a measing one hundred dollars is
going to start a war. However, they're starting for less
than that. Look at history. How do you think the
Wall of eighteen twelve started over eighteen dollars and twelve cents?
I know, well, look at history again. The Franco American
War started over canna spaghetti. Oh, I'm telling you, you know, well,
(20:44):
listen here. How can I get my money back without
starting a war? Well, it's unfair to me, but the
only thing to do is arbitry. What is that? Well,
you gotta find the third person that's disinterred and he
holds court and decide who. Well that suits me, because
anybody will know that I is right. All right, I'll
tell you what will Well, we'll pick out our lawyer,
(21:06):
stone War. I'll meet you at Stone Walls. You'll be
over there in thirty minutes, and we'll let him be
the judge of arbitration. Okay, I'll be there in thirty
minutes now, Stone Wall, and they're gonna be here in
your office any minute. Now. I don't give you all
(21:27):
the facts of the deals so you can arbitrate the thing.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
Honestly, right, I can't face from what you done told me.
I'm afraid of your case.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
More hold water well we'll fight out a bill plug
up the leaf.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Not only plug it, I fed a water proof it
at the same time.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
But now here's the fire. Thank I just put this
in my pocket. Come in there, Hello stone Wall. I
just second walking myself and I ain't had time to
say hello to steone Wall. Hello stone Wall. They can fail?
Hi you thing? How you doing? Uh? So, we want
you to arbitrate the kids between me and Indy.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
Try to let them get behind my arbitration desk.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Cat.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, get up there, sit up there, high for you
do this book?
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Can they call up arbitration in nine sessions hereafter? In
the legal terms of the arbitrailer, we shall refer to
the King Fish as their arby, and to you Andy
as the traders call him, Benedict Arnill.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Now, before we begin, I want you to understand that
this card is gonna be absolutely fair, strictly unpartial, and
completely unbiased. Now, Kingfish, you talk first, because you're gonna
give the true side of the case.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Thank you. Well, you wanna uh in the hell order
the farm call for me and I had the thing
shipped all the way from France. Yeah, keep talking. Uh well,
you know then one do you live with the card
of him in good condition? He give me amusing one
hundred dollars down payment, and now he wants his money
back and wants back of the deal. Yeah, he's talking
(23:09):
store all his my side. They can ride flap them mouth.
Now wait a minute here, Wait a minute, store Waldn't
you want to hear my story? What I tell you?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
And you see in my career, as I portrayed, I
found that it's too confusing to listen to more than
one side.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't like the way things are going. Well, you
can't argue with the scale of justice. Well, I don't
care about that. I'm gonna win this case, even if
I got to pay a lawyer of ten dollars to
do it ten dollars, there be.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
There'll be a slight recess while I rebalance at the
scale of justice.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Will minute, I'll pay fifteen dollars to a good lawyer,
if you know what I mean. Fifteen fifteen fifteen? Can
I hit twenty? Wait a minute, uh, the one us
quit this stuff here and get back to de side
and the kids saying on it like you greed to
do for me.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
After taking all the evidence presented and wearing it on
the scale of justice.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
It looked to me like the scale is tipping in
favor of the King. Free. There you was, and there's
nothing enough for you to do but to wait for
the petro to come from France and keep your big
most shut and go on about your business. So war
you mean to say that the scales say that the
Kingfish done one.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
My final verdict is that the Kingfish ain't got to
give you back the one hundred dollars that he cheated
you out of.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Well top, Honey, I've been down the office all day
pending note of my business affairs are and now ready
to get on the train for Georgia. Uh is your package?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Oh yes, George, But I'm decided on a much cheaper
way of going to George.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh that's good. We can save your money. How's it going.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
We're going by motor a car this afternoon, but we
can't leave for a few days until the petrol gets
here from Saints.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Good night, folks, See you next Tuesday.
All time favorites a mercy. Well today the Kingfish had
(00:25):
a hard day at the pool hall, and as he
returns home, he finds his wife's scipphire all excited. She's
just received a letter from her sister in Georgia. Oh
hold else, I'll.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Come in, George, I got some wonderful news from back
home in Georgia.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, my youngest sister and sister's gonna get married.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh so your mama finally unloaded the last one. Huh?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Why do you mean, George, Mama and I had no
trouble getting us girls married.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Why back home.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We was the bells of the town.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah, I remember that, honey. And when you got married,
they call it the miracle of the bells. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Well, anyway, George, I ain't gonna miss my sister's wedding.
Me and you is going down to Georgia for two weeks.
It'll be a wonderful vacation for him.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
What you mean, I can't take no vacation. I gotta
stay here for business reasons. Business reason? Yeah, who gonna
pick up my unemployment check? They don't bail them things
to you know, you gotta go ahead of them.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Look at me and you is going to Georgia for
my sister's wedding. The round trip tickets is about one
hundred dollars and it's up to the provider of this
family to raise the money.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, it's all that with me, honey. But do you
think you can get a job on such short nodles?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
George, this is your responsibility. The wedding is one week
from today. We is gone and you has got to
get that hundred dollars for the railroad tickets. At nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Mm, that old girl is getting more unreasonable about a minute.
Next thing, I know you're gonna ask me to start
supporting her. So that's the story. Henry Sophire just laid
down the Lord tell me about getting one hundred dollars
(02:05):
to take this trip to Georgia. Well, a trip south
at this special time would be delightful because the weather
here is simply had been abdominal. He love, my waif
was always making trouble for me one weird other. And
it's just like I've always said, Kingfish, marriage would be
a wonderful institution if a woman wasn't mixed up in
the thing. Me go to Georgia. The seathre as sister
(02:27):
get married. Yes, I don't blame you. My wife dragged
me to a big society wedding last week. The social
missus Angelus smythe of New York and Miami Beach got
herself fixed up to mister Pats Wilson of the Department
of Sanitation. More. Yes, after the wedding, we all went
up to the bride's home for a very formal receptacle.
(02:49):
Did they have a nice wedding, Yes, but they ran
into a little difficulty. Two to the recent snows here
in New York, there was no roses in bloom at
the time of the ceremony. And you know what these functures.
It's customary for the flower girls to scatter rose petals
down the isle at the very head of the nuptial's possession. Yeah, well,
without rules is what did you do? Well? They got
(03:11):
the effect of the rose petals by painting some potato
chips rare, and the flower girl scattered the potato chips
the head of the position. Huh. Yes, it was quite
a thing to hear the bride and groom come crunching
down the aisle. Them potato chips must made quite a mess.
It was messy but the groom picked up the debris
(03:33):
the following day when he made his rounds on the
sanitation truck. Well S're gonna have a tough time raiding
on a hundred bucks between now and next Tuesday. I
wonder if I could inviiggle one hundred dollars to handy.
It would have to be a very clever wiggle. Boys.
Andy told me that he was gonna take the money
he's gotten by hisself automobile more. The boy gonna get
(03:54):
herself a new car. Huh yes, And the only thing
that's holding it up is that the dealer can't promise
him to right for four or five months. Oh yeah,
that new car situation is still tough for it it
show is I heard that the only cars that you
can get quick delivery on is the foreign makes. Uh
you say that you hear that the quick deliveries is
the foreign make car. That's right, and it wouldn't surprise
(04:17):
me to see Andy buy one of those neither. Well
now foreign make cause wait a minute, Henry, I just
got a flicker of light, A flicker of light. If
I played my cars right, I might be able to
flick in the out of one hundred dollars and light
right in Georgia. Well, I got this picture of this
(04:46):
foreign car to the color of Old Life magazine. Yeah,
that's a feign call right now if I can just
convince the end. Oh here, come down the hall. Let
me get on the telephone. Hello, that kings ascume me
a minute and just making a trans atlantic telephone call.
Why as you call him Frans Atlantic? Oh? Why because
I was the agent for the new French foreign automobile
(05:07):
and I want to talk to the manufacturer. Wait a minute,
a hello operator? Is this the French operator? Give me
crape sous at four nine three Salem Born Mac call.
Do this company know how to make them? Do they
know how to make them? Hy? This man that I
called him in France is one of the greatest automobile
men in the world. Hello France, Let me talk to
(05:30):
Madman Tierre. I think I heard him somewhere. Hello, hello, madman. Oh,
this is George Stephens New York office.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
We we.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Bonus not just see you too. Yeah, I just received
the picture of your new call. Congratulations mercy bo coup
coupe hula la uh huh. Well remember me to the
lit a mad woman and say hello to miss Eiffel Tower.
(06:04):
Who came, mad Man Bonvoyd? Thank King Fish? Where drew me?
The big frenchman like that? Oh? I noted him for
years and it doing the First World War while me
and him was Mademoiselle together in the French foreign legions,
you see, and the ires node. I had noted him
for so ever since then now right this minute, I
(06:24):
is the American distributed for the new French automobile. You
was now standing in the showroom of the Paris More
to come their Harlem brand, No Fulham. What is the
name of the car? You saw the name of the
car's node in the trade as the quick delivery merc
of these bends one hundred dollars deposits straight eight. That's
what they call. You know, that's a funny thing. I've
(06:47):
been trying to get a car myself. What did the
car look like? Well, now, I just happened to have
a picture of it that was sent by a while
from Paris just yesterday. Where is that? Oh here, hey,
I looked that over. Yeah, say, Kingfish, that's a good
looking automobile. Or oh that's pretty look at them lines.
Hey wait a minute, to wait a minute. They unstuck
(07:07):
the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car.
Oh no, no, that's why they call it the mercy
of these bends before they send it over here, the
bends there, staring wheel over that side. I see. Well
I like American cars. Well now cool, forget it, and
they're fine cars. Is more economical to run they is?
Why as that? Because and over there they all runs
(07:28):
on kilometers? Yeah, well it does them. Killometers wear out
as quick as tires. Oh no, and they killometers is
distance over there? We measured distance in miles. Killometers are
shorter than miles. So there you is. When you drives
in France, you ain't got so far to gold. See
what I mean to get cold? Yeah? Yeah, that's who
(07:48):
cut down the distance. Look here, kingfish, if I ordered
one of them French cars, when could I get it? Well, now,
let me do a little stick in here. Uh we
place this the order today by radar.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
The thing has got to be custom and then they
got to created up ship the car from France the
United States. Let me see, four thousand miles, two thousand
miles goes into customs. How about Thursday of this week?
Tell me this? How can they make cars faster there
than weekend here in America because they were smart and
there's done. Star solved the steel problem. But how they
(08:21):
do that? They got stealed from us. Well, how much
of this French car sell for? Well, now you give
me a hundred dollars deposit and the grand totals up
to sixteen hundred dollars. Fob. That means Frank's on the
barrel head. And I wait a minute, wait a minute.
I ain't letting you have no money til I seized
the car. And boy, that is defferent. Oh no, listen, man,
(08:42):
you be in the car driving up Lennox Avenue, all
them gals but twenty one years old, was sitting over
there on the street. They're looking at you. You got
a new car, they got the new look. And you
saw the glance over at them and smiled at some
pretty gal and say.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It old little children, Yeah, little shill.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
From many are.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
I hears the horn of blowing, I hear it's near
at hand. I hear the car wheels rumbling and rolling
through this land. Don't get on board, just get on,
boulb don't get on bobo.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
The children, that's computed your ball. The children compom with
your more. I hear a car coming. She's coming round
the car. I hear the wheels rumb she's fading everywhere,
she's faining every new Come on, let's children, come on,
(09:43):
let Kevin, come on, let's Kevin from my many. I'm
wonge on board. Let's get on. Don't get a ball,
don't get on Bobo and the children. That's compoted you
more rolling man, a rocket man, a ranger, just a
rock in, just a smoking talking down that long long
road and rock in man all and jumping out. Then
(10:06):
I think I like him a heavy nothing worries me.
I am happy as I can be. Me and two
or three in my model teams. Come on, come on
right my maney, I'm long on board. The children's get
on board. All the children. Don't get on board the children.
(10:31):
There's room already. Well going shortte barber shop here and
(11:03):
see if you knows where I can get a new car.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Hello, that short where I'll be dog going that I
didn't much cooker, you got high kake fuh.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Charloty live you can help me here. I gotta get
a fine car in a hurry.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Oh there is classy looking already. I had a roamster once.
Now I wanted to make it look like a fine car,
so so I had the steering wheel put over on
the right hand side.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Moved the steering wheel. Hunh oh.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
But when I come down to the street, everybody look
at the cause I was driving at a slam.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Well why was you driving to the slam?
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Because the breaking the crutch was still over on the left.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Love me, shorty, I gonna tell you the whole situation.
I need one hundred dollars for me and the way
to get a railroad ticket to Georgia. And I can
get the hundred dollars from in it if I can
just show him a foreign car.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Yeah, stay with him in a king fish, I got it.
A friend of mine has got all that he let
you have.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
He built it herself.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
It could pass for a foreign car to it. He
has some great shame except for wonder thing.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well what's that? Well, you see ther it ain't got that.
You get no motor, no motor.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
You see, I have the fellow a building he he
couldn't find the motor for it, and right now it's
sitting in his garives.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
He'll give with you if you just tow it away. Yeah,
I tell you what I'll do. I'll get that and
I'll put it over the large hall and I'll find
something with a French name on it and put it
on the front of the radio. Yeah that's a good idea. Well,
King things. I gotta leave now where you're going, shorty.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
I gotta go over to the hospital and see a fella.
His face is all slashed and cut up.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Had his face get all slashed and cut up?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Well, you see, he was hit by he fell down
the beach a puck getting in and he was walking.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I think bus that I would get. I shaved him.
Come on in the office and there got some great
news for you. Yeah, what is the news from France?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
What a lucky fella you is? Yeah, just talk the
madman Pierre again. And he told me that he was
gonna let you have a nineteen forty nine model and
it arrived this morning. Oh that's great. Where's it? Oh
in the showroom, right up here in the large or
come on follow me here. Oh boy ey, it's crazy
to see this new call right through this door here
and then now right over there there she sets in
(13:33):
there between them two ferns, pretty in it. The prince
then is yeah, the head of us on design. And
to notice the underslung buddy, Yeah, I wonder who slung
that together. Oh look at that pin job there, wonderful
pink job. That's big enamel finish big right on there
(13:54):
looks a little overdone in the spots. To me, this
is a genu wine French car. Oh certainly an you
want come up here and look at the name plate
on the front of it. There the name plate is
made out of paper to cut it on the wind
resistance here too, d say, here made in France, and
the name of the car is Sparkling Burgundy. Oh wonderful man. Hey,
(14:16):
wait a minute, look here it say vintage of nineteen
thirty four. What did that vintage means a French word
means convertible or it is wonderful thing. And the nineteen
thirty four? Is this a nineteen thirty four model? Or
don't be silly? And well what do the nineteen thirty
four stand for?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Horsepower? Oh now, wait a minute, here, wait a minute.
How can they get nineteen hundred and thirty four horse
power in that little car? They use smaller horses, that's
all they do. Now, step right over here and look
at the inside of it. Look through the window there.
Look at that upholstered genuine leather red oil clause. Or
you slide in and out their blue third suit, go
(14:53):
right through their model minute. Yeah, you know, it's kind
of hard to get used to this foreign stuff. Let
me see the motor, came fish, U we want to
see the motor huh uh? Well, now that's what it
goes planned under the mortar is sealed under the hood
to keep a dust free seal and oil another one
of these things. Yes, and knowing that you would be
(15:14):
just the one that would want to start tamping with
the mortar. Eyes done, had a pad lock welded on there,
so you can't get in there and get in trouble.
And I don't throw the keys away. Well, tell me this, kingfish,
how do you get to the motor case? Something go
wrong through the exhaust pipe, that's how you that that
(15:39):
is a little unhandy in it. Look ahead, sports, something
go wrong with that motor, Now, how can I get
it fixed? Very simple and there, all you got to
do is to find a mechanic with a long stin arm.
That's all he got to Yeah, well, maybe I ought
to take it. Oh yeah, you ought to take it
and take it right away. Okay, here you is kinkfish.
Here's one hundred dollars down framing. I'll buy it right
the deal is closed. I want to take it out
(16:01):
for a little spin right now. Uh, I hate to
tell you this and there, but you're gonna have to
hold off a little on your spinning. You see. Being
a French car, this car don't run on gasolion. It
runs on petrol. And in a drop of petrel in
this country at the moment, Well, why couldn't I use
gas instead?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Now, gonna splain that to you too. And well, uh
you see the American gasolion it's got to sing in
and called. I can now these feign cars has got
a narrow gas. I'm the I can just won't go
through it. That's a whole tug wag it up close,
it right up every time. But I spect them the
ship of the petrol, and that's what you'll be the
first one on the list there, that's all I want.
(16:47):
When is that coming in? Well? Now, I was leaving
for Georgia withning away for a couple of weeks and
the petrol ought to get here just for the time
I'll get back. Well, I guess I gotta wait for Limba. Well,
I gotta run along now. And there are audiold bush
nitches and all that hold on kings. Let me take
a good look at my car. Leave. I'll open the
(17:07):
door and get in there and sit down. Hm. Well
that door hanging open. I guess when Pierre tried to
get in one of these cars, that's when he started
calling himself madman. Well, hello, Dan, what you doing here?
(17:27):
Come over here, amos. I want to see my new car.
This is yours? Huh sys you must be going in
the soapbox derby. Wait a minute. This is the latest
French automobile, the mechanic with a long arm or sealed
under the hood. What is that again? It's got a
(17:50):
leatherette motor with small horses in a too. I just
see the king face. Leave here. Did he tell you
that thing? Well, I give him a hundred dollars down famous.
He's going to get me some petrol too. Tell me
this who stuck that label on the front of it
from a bottle of sparkling Burgundy? I think the madman
done it? This car, you know? Good? And look at
(18:10):
that that Kingfish is done stuck you again? Look at
that You ain't even got no windshield on you got
is the frame there? I thought that glass was awful clean.
You better get your money back then. Yeah, just wait
till I get my hands on that Kingfish. And if
I ever get to France where they make these cars,
are going to be two mad men over there. I'll
tell you that. Well show put one over one end.
(18:53):
It was that foreign Cabsn't I better lock of my
office here and lay lord till tomorrow when I get
on the train for Georgia. Then I'll be safe. Oh hello,
I just leaven Well you ain't leaving? Back up, I said,
back up? I hope I'm backing. You don't have to
be so roughable. I want to have a showdown with
you about that automobile you showed me. Oh, by the way,
(19:13):
I just had a nice talk with Madman Pierre again.
The petrel is on his way over here. King Fish,
I'm gonna punch you right in the nose. You took
my one hundred dollars just so you and your wife
could take a trip to Georgia. I want my money back.
I'm gonna beat you like you ain't never been beat before.
Strike me if you must, remember I as an official,
a French automobile dealer, which comes under the Jewish dictionary
(19:35):
of the French government. And if you strike me, it
will be the Pearl Harbor of nineteen forty eight. Wait
a minute, what's pearl harbor got to do with me
busting you in the face? And you is forgetting the
I as a French car dealer, and in that capacity
I ain't no longer George Stevens, the Kingfish. It is
a symbol of France, all right, symbol put up your dukes.
(19:57):
Remember my innocent friend. Hitting me is just slugging Joan
of arc who you know what? Fifty million frenchmen go
swarm all over you are. Now Wait a minute, headed
the ignorant. Even though West Frenchman give you the statue
of liberty you got in your harbor here, you know
what that means that America and France will be at
warf you hit me and Andy Brown will go down
in history as a warmongol. Wait in a minute, now,
(20:21):
King Fish, just hold everything here with it. Don't try
to tell me that a measing one hundred dollars is
going to start a war. However, they're starting for less
than that. Look at history. How do you think the
Wall of eighteen twelve started over eighteen dollars and twelve cents?
I know, well, look at history again. The Franco American
War started over canna spaghetti. Oh, I'm telling you, you know, well,
(20:44):
listen here. How can I get my money back without
starting a war? Well, it's unfair to me, but the
only thing to do is arbitry. What is that? Well,
you gotta find the third person that's disinterred and he
holds court and decide who. Well that suits me, because
anybody will know that I is right. All right, I'll
tell you what will Well, we'll pick out our lawyer,
(21:06):
stone War. I'll meet you at Stone Walls. You'll be
over there in thirty minutes, and we'll let him be
the judge of arbitration. Okay, I'll be there in thirty
minutes now, Stone Wall, and they're gonna be here in
your office any minute. Now. I don't give you all
(21:27):
the facts of the deals so you can arbitrate the thing.
Speaker 5 (21:29):
Honestly, right, I can't face from what you done told me.
I'm afraid of your case.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
More hold water well we'll fight out a bill plug
up the leaf.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
Not only plug it, I fed a water proof it
at the same time.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
But now here's the fire. Thank I just put this
in my pocket. Come in there, Hello stone Wall. I
just second walking myself and I ain't had time to
say hello to steone Wall. Hello stone Wall. They can fail?
Hi you thing? How you doing? Uh? So, we want
you to arbitrate the kids between me and Indy.
Speaker 5 (22:05):
Try to let them get behind my arbitration desk.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Cat.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah, get up there, sit up there, high for you
do this book?
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Can they call up arbitration in nine sessions hereafter? In
the legal terms of the arbitrailer, we shall refer to
the King Fish as their arby, and to you Andy
as the traders call him, Benedict Arnill.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Go ahead.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
Now, before we begin, I want you to understand that
this card is gonna be absolutely fair, strictly unpartial, and
completely unbiased. Now, Kingfish, you talk first, because you're gonna
give the true side of the case.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Thank you. Well, you wanna uh in the hell order
the farm call for me and I had the thing
shipped all the way from France. Yeah, keep talking. Uh well,
you know then one do you live with the card
of him in good condition? He give me amusing one
hundred dollars down payment, and now he wants his money
back and wants back of the deal. Yeah, he's talking
(23:09):
store all his my side. They can ride flap them mouth.
Now wait a minute here, Wait a minute, store Waldn't
you want to hear my story? What I tell you?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
And you see in my career, as I portrayed, I
found that it's too confusing to listen to more than
one side.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
I don't like the way things are going. Well, you
can't argue with the scale of justice. Well, I don't
care about that. I'm gonna win this case, even if
I got to pay a lawyer of ten dollars to
do it ten dollars, there be.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
There'll be a slight recess while I rebalance at the
scale of justice.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Will minute, I'll pay fifteen dollars to a good lawyer,
if you know what I mean. Fifteen fifteen fifteen? Can
I hit twenty? Wait a minute, uh, the one us
quit this stuff here and get back to de side
and the kids saying on it like you greed to
do for me.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
After taking all the evidence presented and wearing it on
the scale of justice.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
It looked to me like the scale is tipping in
favor of the King. Free. There you was, and there's
nothing enough for you to do but to wait for
the petro to come from France and keep your big
most shut and go on about your business. So war
you mean to say that the scales say that the
Kingfish done one.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
My final verdict is that the Kingfish ain't got to
give you back the one hundred dollars that he cheated
you out of.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Well top, Honey, I've been down the office all day
pending note of my business affairs are and now ready
to get on the train for Georgia. Uh is your package?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Oh yes, George, But I'm decided on a much cheaper
way of going to George.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Oh that's good. We can save your money. How's it going.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
We're going by motor a car this afternoon, but we
can't leave for a few days until the petrol gets
here from Saints.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Good night, folks, See you next Tuesday.
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