Interview: Inside State Prison with "Maze" Powerful Living with Henry Flowers

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Doing what's going on? Brother, I'm blessed to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
So I want.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
To jump right in to your story because I think
that my listeners can learn a lot from your story
what you've been through. I talk about overcoming of trials
and tribulations. That's really the life of a believer and

(00:40):
just living here on this planet. Things are hard and
just tragedies happen all the time, and so for you,
from what you've shared with me, you step outside your house,
then what'll happen?

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Well, it was all of sixteenth I remember, you know,
that's a memory that always burning.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
In my mind, you know what I mean. I think
about it constantly because I couldn't be here no more.

Speaker 5 (01:09):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:10):
So after getting off work, I decided to go to
the grocery store. You know, I wait awhile, but they
noticed the police was outside all day, you know what
I mean. When I saw it, I'm just like, alright,
I'm just stay in the house. I don't feel like
being bolved with nobody. I got my license, but I
don't got insurance, so it's like, let me sit in
the house til I get this insurance cleared up, you

(01:31):
know what I mean. So I stayed in the house
and I'm like, okay, cool, it's getting clear. I gotta
r thinking about getting to ride cause I'm like, I
ain't gonna drive, you know what I mean. So walking out,
I walked past the guy, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
It was so mighty standing outside.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Just standing out cause it's an apartment p complex, so you know,
it's everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
All the residents are there. So it's broad day.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Like you you think outside your home would be in
safety zone at least it's supposed to be, right, you
know what I mean. So, like I said, fast forward
a little bit, I'm walking past them, and I don't
say nothing. I don't say nothing to him. I don't
get an eerie feeling or nothing, like all of a sudden,
like my back is turned and shots just explode. Like

(02:18):
So you walk past them, you'll like made it up
to the parking lot and you start to hear shots
shots immediately, like like as soon as I get close
to the car. Well, I wish I could not have
a map of how an apartment complex. But the parking
lot is in front of the apartment complex.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
It's like a big space.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
It's no no playground for kids, so they play in
the parking lot. So my thing, I'm hearing all these
shots and these kids outside, and I'm like, oh man,
I hope someone ain't shooting around while these kids is
going out here.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
So you first start as the kids shots fire, you
seeing kids around.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Yeah, because it's if you know the apartment complex, it's
raven woods, like, there's no word for the kids to
play like they in the parking line. That's where they
safe having is. So when I see when I hear
the shots, I'm immediately thinking, like, what food would you
do this? I'm not realizing this was meant for me.

(03:21):
So I'm still puzzled looking around, trying to make sure
it't nothing going on, and I'm not realizing this guy's
running up to me. So in the midst of me
turning like we meet out of eye and that's when
the first shot hit me in the neck. So once
this first shot hit me in the neck, it went

(03:43):
out through my mouth like the next shot kind of
was a numbing but then the one through the mouth
was a scruciating.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Pain immediately.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
And traveled up all it traveled up, yeah, out of
my mouth, so that when that bully came out, I
instantly fall on the ground. I was just thinking, like
I just hope this ain't the last, you know, I
just hope it ain't. That's all you can think at
the time, Like that is like how can I get
out of this situation? I'm bleeding and I just remember

(04:15):
closing my eyes and just asking, you know, God, like
what's next a after this?

Speaker 2 (04:22):
So so you get shot once?

Speaker 4 (04:25):
I got shot once in an exit room, so so yeah, yeah,
but that that's not it. So what in the midst
of me on the ground and thinking I look up
and the guy standing over me, you know, and I
kind of just like blackout. I don't know what happened.

(04:46):
I cannot recall.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
I'm not about to sit up or make stories some
Superman story. I don't know what happened.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
All I know is the guy ended up on the
ground and I ended up standing over him. I don't really,
I'm honest. I don't know how he feel.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
I don't know how I feel.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
I remember getting the shot and hit the ground, and
did you.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Have a weapon?

Speaker 4 (05:07):
No, do you have.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Martial arts training? Just so you're not John.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
Wick, You're not Jason warn Nah no, no, no super agent.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
None of that just was like get shot, you fall
to the ground. He's standing over it. And the next thing,
when you come to yourself, I'm up, you're fault.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
He's on the ground, and it's like he was trying
to shoot while I was on the ground. So when
I like blink, I'm thinking he shot me. That was
in my mind. But it's like when I opened my eyes,
I was up ugh enough to run, you know what
I mean, Because in my mind I'm thinking like, well,

(05:58):
I should try to stripe, and then I'm thinking and
like oh, I'm bleeding, like you gotta get out of her.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Flight. That was it.

Speaker 4 (06:04):
It's not nothing to be tough and them situations, a
human is left with two choices.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Flight, fight or flight.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
In my case, I tried to fight, but flight was
the smartest thing.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
And you don't even remember if you fall. I don't
remember on his stomach.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
He was kind of like on his back a little bit,
but getting up ready to shoot again.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
So as he.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, as he was getting up and you know, continued
to shoot.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
So I'm running the hallway. I remember you took off, Yeah,
I took off. So I run to the steps and
this is where I get shot again.

Speaker 6 (06:43):
So as I'm running to the steps, you're trying to
get back.

Speaker 4 (06:46):
I'm trying to get back home because that's the only
way I'm bleeding, you know what I mean. I don't
know the extent of the bleeding. I just know my
mouth is sore, is open, and I'm you know, all
the neighbors didn't win in the house, so ain't nobody
calling nine on one from me and nothing, Which I
don't blame him because in the situation like that, you
don't know if the guy is still running after this person.

(07:09):
So you know, I cannot fall none up her for that,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
But in the midst of.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
Running to the steps, he let off like two more shots.
I recall getting hit with like both, but they skin
off my back cause the way the first one hit me,
it kind of knocked me forward a little bit, so
it made me miss the second shot a little so
I got like a big scar across my back as well.

(07:38):
So in the midst of all that I was running.
You know, my girlfriend she came in and she saw
me bleeding.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Your girlfriend was home, yeah, she was home. My son
was home too. Your girlfriend was home and she heard
the shots, so she.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
Come running out and see me running bleeding. And thank
god that she was quick on her feet because everything
was going wrong. When I tell you everything's going on, uh,
first and foremost me falling on my phone when I failed,
Like my phone's completely shattered, like I can't use it.
So she's tryna call not No, I'm only one. Her

(08:14):
phone is n like our service in the building is
is is kind of like, wow, garbage.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
You so you broke your phone, you got poor service
with her phone, you believing you needing to get to
the high school soon and you ain't r actually really
sure if the perpetrator is.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
I don't know what's going on. I just know I'm
just I'm not.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Even worried about him at this time.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
It's like, right now, I gotta make sure that I
stay alive, and.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
I don't know if my mind just didn't wanna die
like that, right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Say, cause you got a sign? Yeah, oh what was
your son at that time? I used too? He used too.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
He's still this is quite fresh.

Speaker 4 (08:52):
It's only like six months ago.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
So six months ago when it's happen.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
Yeah, So let's go back when just a few moments
prior to you being helped by your girlfriend, you have
this moment you say you remember connecting with or either
turning your heart toward God and saying, Lord, let me live,

(09:19):
let me survive.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
This basically, you know, because this is how we do.
Y'all know how y'all do.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Lord, If you let me survive this, I'll never do
it again.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
This one.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
At those times, I didn't even have to put the
never again. It's just like listen, I'm just so you
just reached out.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
So tell me about your faith and what was built
in you prior to that to make you connect with
God at that moment.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
And is faith in God something that you had practice? Oh?

Speaker 4 (09:49):
Yeah, coming up. My grandmother, my great grandmother, my grandmother's plural,
you know what I mean. They taught me in the Bible.
You know, I was a grandma's baby and you was
in church. So because grandma was in church, Yeah, Grandma
gonna make you go to Sunday School.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
You didn't getting out of it.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
And you going to Sunday School until we got a
little older, and she was like, she may let us
find God our own way. She didn't force him as
we got older because she wanted us to connect with.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
God in our own way.

Speaker 4 (10:20):
But She always stayed, oh, you need to get into
somebody's church.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
No was it?

Speaker 3 (10:24):
No, no, no was this was this red and white peppermint.
Grandma in her purse.

Speaker 4 (10:33):
She had both no life, my rest herself. My great
grandmother is amazing. My grandmother right now is amazing. She
picked up the same way, like it's church every Sunday.
They didn't play that. Oh yeah, they taught you how
to be respectful, like you know what I mean. My
grandparents taught me a lot, you know what I mean,

(10:56):
just with dealing with faith, Like made sure that we
learned how to pray, and that that was something that
I learned young, you know what I mean, before I
can even read. Grandma she made sure she talked us
how to pray. Because I went to my grandmother, I said,
like five, you know what I mean, so's you say
pretty much raised you then? Yeah? But my father was
there too. It's just my dad got I got. I

(11:18):
come from a big family, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
I'm the oldest at nine siblings.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
My dad got settled. Oh wow, I mean okay.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
So it was easier for me at that time because
my dad was a hard working man. God rest his soul.
I just lost him last year too. But he was
always a hard working man and he had faith.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Too as well. He was a believer.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Oh, he was a believer too. But Pops was more
or less not traditional going, but he had his.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Own personal the national God gotcha. So he wasn't in
church every morning with Grandma every Sunday.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
But that's believe him and Grandma. Oh they clash developed it,
but she loved him to death, but that was she
stayed on everybody like s get in that church because
she knew that's the only person that can save you.
To be real, nothing in this world can save you
but the creat it.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
So in that moment, you you you seeing your your
life on the line.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
You connect with God.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
Somehow something happened and you still have no idea what happened,
and he's on the ground.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
You look and you gruning. Your girlfriends coming to you,
aid what happened? Next?

Speaker 4 (12:33):
Like I said, soon as I get in, uh, immediately
trying to find child because I notice that I'm not
just bleeding from my mouth, like my neck is bleeding
as well, but now it's getting harder to breathe. So
I'm like you gotta call now moving Like I said
the service was bad, my phone was shut her, so
we're not getting through. So it got to a point

(12:53):
where it's like, you know what, I give up. I
just took my towel wrapped around my neck and I'm like,
you know what, I just lost my dad. I'm going
through all this this.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
And that just done.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
How long before this event where you're getting shot, that
you lost your dad?

Speaker 4 (13:12):
Ooh that was I see it had only been gone
by a year or so. Wow, So it's still kind
of fresh.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yes, yes, that's kind of fresh.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
Experts say it takes about eighteen months to get over
the loss of her love.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
One on average.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
Yeah, but that I don't think experts understand when somebody
being there your whole life.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
You know, So you lost your dad a year prior,
now you're being shot and and you you you feel
your life coming to an end.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
W W.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
What did you mean when you say you wrapped the
town around your neck where you're trying to stop the
bleeding or you doing well?

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Kind of Yeah, that at first it was that was
the only thing I could do, you know, logically, it's like,
you know, at.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Least stop one of these that.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
Yeah, but at that time, my lungs clacked, my right
mom collapse. So then once the mom's collapsed and the
blood started, like I'm choking up blood, It's like, okay, yeah,
I you know what I mean. Maybe maybe my death
was supposed to be something for something else. Maybe I'm
not supposed to be here. That's how I'm thinking now.

(14:18):
So it's like I just laid down and I kept
closing my eyes and I was just ready to quit.
But my girlfriend stayed strong through the whole thing and
was like yelling my name. You gotta get up, you
gotta get up. She kept calling, She kept calling. She
finally got through. By this time, I'm completely out of it.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
You probably off the light.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
Oh yeah, yeah, I did. I remember hearing crawling the
hallway if you wanna live. I don't know what procedure
that the paramedics studio and they do that to you.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
You saying someone said that, Oh what's the paramedics crawl
into the hallway if you want to live?

Speaker 4 (14:59):
Yeah, because I guess they been screaming my name for
so long cause where I was I died in living.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
In the kitchen.

Speaker 4 (15:08):
So, like I said, I thought it was over, and
I kept hearing voices and I just felt like I
was climbing towards the voices, you know, and beholder here
crawling the hallway if you wanna live and not thinking
about just crawling the hallway. And I'm like, well, I
couldn't die, so let's try to live again, you know
what I mean. Dying didn't work, so let's live. Immediately,

(15:33):
they put me into the uh, they got me on
the stretcher, got me out. Everybody in the hallway now
you know it was empty at first. Now everybody in
the hallway, you know, kind of just looking to see
what's going on and stuff like that. They put me
in an ambulance, and I tell you, I was awoke
for everything that I experienced, like every bit of pain

(15:57):
I can remember, so a process i've seen, like when
they're where you're dying, Like they use this bone and
IV type of thing.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
And I mean it's worse than being shot.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
The pain inserting the.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
IV in my leg because they had to get it
in my bone.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh, into the bone.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yes, they had to do this while I was what
with in the needle, I mean, no exaggeration, was the
longest needle I've seen. And it wasn't no small like this.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
Was a need on you the bone.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yes, yes, I don't know what kind of IV it is,
but I seen my father have that same IV in
the hospital because my FA. When my father passed, I
was in the hospital to pass away. So I've immediately
noticed that same IV that I'm getting in my leg
that my father got.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
I'm like, oh, this can't be good.

Speaker 4 (16:49):
And I'm screaming like are they like, look, it's either
this or you're gonna die, Like You're gonna have to
take the pain?

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Are they trying to hold you down?

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Nah? Because is I'll just I had to that moment.
I had to see how tough I was, right, and
I never want to be put in that tough man
competition again.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Understand that that was.

Speaker 4 (17:13):
I don't know how to explain that pain.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
Man.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
I still feel that today's day, like rains like it's
cold weather, or just getting sore, like I'll still feel
those famal pains.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
It was crazy. So this is where we want to
make sure to take.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
It's sort of a pause here because you know, I
just I just like for people to know that the
reason that the Gospel is it it's so powerful for us.
Number one, because it's a free gift. But number two,
faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Lets you have

(17:54):
something to believe in that this life is not it
that there's something else.

Speaker 2 (17:59):
On the others.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Now, most people, just naturally, we all are afraid of death,
but it's more, it's more about the means, like I
don't want to die this way or I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Die that way. Right, you have these fears. You see stuff, especially.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Knowledge you can get online excla eks and you can
just see all this stuff happen in real life where people.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Just lost their lives. This is why I.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Preached the gospel the way I do, because you never
know when it's your time. This brother here walking out
his door, wasn't expecting nothing, didn't know somebody was out
there with a gun. I was ready to fire to
take him out, and even was kids was around. That's
that's called not given a fudge about nothing.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
And you never know when your time is coming.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
That's why the scripture says, confess with your mouth the
Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, not save
from dying, but saved from the next death. This is
a natural death we talking about, but there's a spiritual
death that's coming after judgment, and those are the things

(19:12):
that we take in mind when we decide whether or
not we want.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
To choose Jesus. So here you are on this hospital guardey,
inside an ambulance.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
You're going through all these preparations and they trying to
save your life.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
The pain is there.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
What's what's going through your mind at that point?

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, after feeling out of pain, I'm just feeling pain.

Speaker 5 (19:38):
It was.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
Like a calm feeling around me too, And that's that's
how I know it's my guardian age. A lot of
that stuff, like thinking back to a lot of it.
It's amazing because I'm in the hospital bed and I'm alive.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm woke.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
When they put the tub to ventilate to in my throat,
like yeah, so you got a track where they open No,
they had they just oh you.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Put it down your throat.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, and you're a lot you awake for you know
what I mean.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
But initially made me pass out though, because.

Speaker 4 (20:15):
I'm to me it was like I was the time
lapse is so funny when you and a comb. Because
I ended up slipping into it com they had to
put me into what they called the drug medically drug yeah, no,
once I got to the house. Yeah, I don't know.
I think they just kept me stable while.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
I was in the ambulance.

Speaker 4 (20:38):
But like I was so adrilline was pumping so much
that I was still woke for all the stuff.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
But I guess once all the pain of going through
that IVY shot and then the ventilation too, it got
to the point.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Where I just I'm out.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
I can't recall how many days I was out, but
I know I was an I c U for almost
a week and a half.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Then I had to go upstairs for a week.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
It was It was crazy, but I do remember once
I did, like finally wake up, I see everybody around me.
I had some like wonderful supporters, man, my my brothers,
my mother. My stepmother was my second mom, you know
what I mean. I don't even like seeing step that's
my second mom, you know what I mean, She's she

(21:27):
held it down.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
So many people.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Man, I can just I wish I could I really be.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
S all day like if at.

Speaker 4 (21:36):
The hospital was packed, and I appreciate every one of
those people that came through, Like y'all know y'all, I mean,
I love y'all and I thank y'all for that because
without them like having that that spirit, like man, you
you a fighter like you would have been through some
things in your life.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Brouh, don't let this take you out, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 3 (21:55):
See, I love this because what you're speaking to is
people being there for each other.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
And that's why what we talk about on our platform.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Powerful living, saying you're a believer in Jesus Christ is
about being something, doing something. It's in this faith is
about action. Because even Jesus says, listen, when I was
in prison, you didn't come to visit me. When I

(22:28):
was hungry. You didn't give me anything I was thinking.
You didn't give me any clothing.

Speaker 5 (22:33):
He says.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
These are the things to me even to say, hey,
when I was in the hospital, you didn't come visit me.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Right, So these are the things that he's saying.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
You people who said you were mine, these are things
that you should have been doing but didn't do.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
And you can hear nothing from a man made about how.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
Much this means to people when they're in their worst
possible state and they people show up.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
That's powerful living.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
So you don't know how long so you you showing
me about seventeen days now at least a hospital.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Time right.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Could be longer. Like I said, when you going through trauma,
it's like kind of your m your mind wanna try
to forget it as much as possible, Like that's why
you they got things like called PTSD, like you try
to forget it, but it's like over it's like stitched
in your brain. You know what I mean. It's it's
an ongoing trauma and you constantly thinking it's danger.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Maw like you heightens your senses.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
But okay, why I do know while I'm in the hospital,
they figuring out like you know, I'm I got the
ventilation too.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
I'm up talk.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
I'm trying to talk while I got the two like
I don't know what's wrong. Yeah, but it's easy able
to make sounds out. It was tough, but I was
able to talk to certain people. But then I was
writing and stuff on the path as well, like I
was up and conscious, you just trying communicate with people.
Just let him know.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Everybody who came through supported me.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
I wanted to thank him, man, tell them like I'm alright,
like trying to just let them know, like they can't
they can't take me out like this, Like even though
at one point in time, I didn't believe that I
thought that I was gonna go, but that faith when
I just woke back up, just like Okay, I got

(24:25):
a reason to be here, Like what.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Was your what was your reason? What was your why?
Why did you want to live? Why were you more
determined then my family?

Speaker 4 (24:36):
I feel like if I especially my dad leaving, like
my dad was a glue to the family, Like, man,
it can't be you can't you can call him for anything.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
My dad was there, Like wow, I.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
Got the art end in the black community, we know
that that that's rare.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Like no, father, I'm one of the you know what
I mean.

Speaker 3 (25:02):
I wish I could say what you just said about
your dad. I wish I could say that about my dad.

Speaker 4 (25:09):
So and it was like thinking like if he go,
I mean I go, and and he already gone, like
who's left the build up everything? Not saying that my
family wouldn't step up, but I just feel like, as
the son of the glue, it's my duty to live
in the light that my father lived. Because you're the

(25:31):
oldest boy, You're exactly after it. Look just like you do.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
You feel like the mantle is being passed on you
when your dad passed.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
Yeah, it is, but he wanted me to do it
my way. It's like he always told me, like, don't
do what I do, be better than you know what
I mean? And I fell into wrong footsteps, you know
what I mean. But when it came to this incident,
I was working two jobs.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Wasn't even industries.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
So I tried to do something different. You was trying
to do rather I try.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
You had two jobs, you have a son, and you're
you said, this is your girlfriend, So y'all weren't married.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
But how long have y'all been together?

Speaker 4 (26:17):
Oh, that's my best friend. We've been knowing each other
for a while for a while, and she she.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Gave you a child. Y'all been to the two two.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
So you got a lot of good reasons to be
trying to turn things around. And you're sitting here in
the hospital bed determined, thinking about your dad and what's next.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
How long did it take you to get up and
out of the hospital and on your role to recovery?

Speaker 4 (26:51):
Okay, so after just like initial let's say like seventeen
to twenty one days. In the midst of that, my
jaw was supposed to be broken. It was, but it
put itself back together. I can't explain it, Like if
you look at me, you can't tell I got shot
in the face, Like you can't tell it came out

(27:13):
my face and my I had a hole in my face,
so you don't even know where the scar is at.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Right, So usually if you break your jaw, they have
to reset.

Speaker 4 (27:20):
It and usually none of that. No, I know it
was ain't couldn't nobody pay me different?

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Couldn't.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Couldn't not only that I walked myself to my X
ray from being in the coma to ICU. I walked
from ICU, I walked what they helped me, but they

(27:53):
were amazed that I got up and had the strip
to use my legs. Where I could have got shot at,
I could have got paralyzed, My job could have came
off because where it when it that They was telling
me that artery could have.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Got sert Like, yeah, it could have been a lot
of stuff. When you're talking about the next too.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
There it's kind of an important artery that runs along
your neck too, So I guess by the grace of
God obviously right, Yeah, that wasn't separate.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
It's got a hole in it though, but it didn't
completely like.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
You have a hole in the artery and you're juggular
and no, I didn't.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
Wow, it's just I don't know the whole like got
a weird shape to where it doesn't believe that it's
like a it created a pocket instead of a hole. Wow,
like it all the songs was telling me, like, that's gone.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
I couldn't eat at first. I had to be put
on the feeding.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
Too, which they had to do that while I was woke.
And the pain that you have to go through of
having a wire that I don't know the diameters if so,
don't let me get the line. And but this was
a wire to go from your nose to the pit
of your stomach to where it can feeds you.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Right, yes, And they had to they had to do
that while I was woke. Wow.

Speaker 4 (29:13):
And they explained it to Oh, it's just a little
simple process.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
I love that. I love that. See, this is what
makes I hate people when they do, because the first
it's it's it's just anytime somebody put just.

Speaker 3 (29:26):
In a sentence, that's an attempt to minimize something.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
It's only so Look, I was thinking the same thing too,
but I'm so sick because I'm not eating. My throat
I have no access to, Like I can't even swallow
my spit. I gotta constantly. They gotta keep me on
fluids because I can't drink, I can't eat.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
I'm sick.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
I'm throwing up because they got me on whatever medicine
they got me on, and then from the drug induce
cona's coming off of all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
So uh, they do.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
That, and I'm so miserable of not being able to eat,
and I'm sick cause I know I need to have
something that can help me. So they give me this
fiber source stuff. So once they get done with that,
and I mean I.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Looked at Bad Drew everywhere. It was it was nightmare,
you know what I mean. It was.

Speaker 4 (30:18):
It was terrible like but mind then. But I can
honestly say, man, my my older cousin, man, older cousin
road stood by me that whole process when they was
doing that, like wipe my mouth off then, you know
what I mean, Like my mama was there.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
You know what I'm saying. It was.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Support, bro man, it was amazing, But it was so crazy.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
As many people as I've I helped or any many
people that I that's supposed to be my friends and
so called family members of a lot.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Of people that show up either, but a lot did.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
The ones that matter every shoulder, the ones that Madim
showed though.

Speaker 4 (31:02):
And then it helped me to realize, like, you just
can't be mad, cause everybody don't take situations the same
like they You might love a person, but they might like, ah,
I just like what you do for me. To love
what you do for me. If you can't do nothing
for me no more, I don't bother with you. And
that's how it was feeling, you know, cause not being
able to work.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
No more, you know what I'm saying. So let's go
back a little bit.

Speaker 4 (31:26):
The feeding tube is in and I gotta I'm in
fed around the clock on this toube.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
So it's it's terrible, like it's it's just terrible.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
So they take out the UH ventilating, they take out
the tube. Well they had to take the tube out
to get that in there. So at that time they
gotta go back in and take out the UH. They
had another tube in my side where my lungs collapsed.
Oh yeah, I been cut open. Yeah, that that was
I was worked for that tube. He's cut me.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
That got a side cut right on my side where
I was walking. It was like, look, we gotta do this,
we gotta.

Speaker 4 (32:06):
You gotta do this. You can't get or I don't
know if they could have or they didn't.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
They didn't. I know, I felt all of it.

Speaker 5 (32:15):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
It felt like so like oh man, somebody.

Speaker 4 (32:23):
Yeah, but when the yeah, but when they put the
two against your lungs and trying to push it up
where it already been collapsed. Oh, that was so uncomfortable.
It was just like it got to the point where
I started becoming numb to feelings. So when they took
it out, it didn't even bother me.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
Didn't even bother me. It was it was terrible.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
But let's move forward a little bit. Me going home.
I was supposed to be sent home with a feeding too. Well,
I guess they didn't everyone at the home health care.
It's important when you got a job, get good insurance
because if you got bull insurance, you're gonna get bull
health anyway. Healthcare, I should say, they ran out of

(33:14):
feeding too, So now I gotta get done where it's
like injections. So I got this two thing in my
nose where it got two ports. So I gotta ah, man,
it was terrible, So we gotta feed this nasty fire
resource stuff like it's terrible. Yeah, and you can taste
it trickling down from my.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
Nose down to it's just horrible.

Speaker 4 (33:37):
Like and my sister, my mama once again, they've been
They was amazing angels because they got on it. Like
and I got. I come from a family of women
that that that know about the medical field. My grandmother's
a registered nurse.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I got an aunt that's a registered nurse.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Uh my mom used to be an LPN. You know,
my cousins is LPN. It came and checked on me.
Uh it was.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
I can't say this. I was just thankful for them.
But you know, so they feed me in every night
at four in the morning, I'm getting sick.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
So I had to go back to the hospital.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
I go back to the hospital thinking like, oh man,
so I just big, I'm back in the hospital. Backslide
on backsliding, little do you know. I went back and they.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Said, man, let's let's see if we can take you
off this.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
Sure, take you off of what the feeding too. I
got when I went.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
So you had the feeding too, and you weren't getting better. No,
and you go to the hospital and they thinking we're
gonna take the feeding too.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
Well, well, they kind of monitoring and they did it to
the X rays and they start seeing that like water
is starting to pass through to where I can drink water.
Now it's it's like not bothering me. But I still
got these nervous sensations. So I get the feeding too.
About I take a this test where they see if
you can swallow things. I failed it. I failed it twice,

(35:05):
so I'm just scared, like, oh man, it's gonna be
wild like and I'm thinking about how I'm gonna be
able to talk with and all the mists these words slowly.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
God start unraveling, Like are you worried about that?

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Don't worry about that.

Speaker 4 (35:21):
So the moment I felt the second test, so I
had to stay it for a little while longer. Third
tests coming around, I throw is healed where I can
swallow on it.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Oh what kind of time is passing that We're talking about?
A week? A week a week?

Speaker 4 (35:39):
Wow, Cause mister, this was like I do those after
those in the midst of those twenty one days, like
I was getting my body was like building up, like
getting better, Like I'm walking around, I was doing things
that they was right. They was like we never seen
nobody heal this fast. It's off the gunshot your area

(36:02):
that you got hit, Okay, But I think that was
just God cause I didn't feel that strong man personally,
like I still don't.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
I still have my days.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
Where it's hard to get up or it's hard to breathe,
like it's a lot of stuff that internal stuff that
are still going on. It may not look like.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
That, you know what I mean, But are you able
to eat normally?

Speaker 1 (36:24):
The yeah, yeah, I still have problems where.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
My job is.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
It's it's it's problems, especially the nerves, cause all the
nerves got kind of fried and stuff like that. So
I too bitter, too cold, too hot, anything, you gonna
get a sharp pain for a second.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
So I had to learn how to deal with pain,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
And that's just that fighting spirits, Like no matter what's
going on, you gotta fight through it.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
That's where your faith come in at, Like.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
It's about what you fight for. You gonna fight for
the positive or you just keep worried about all this
happened to you and be a victim the whole the
whole situation. Okay, happened, But what you gonna do from here?

Speaker 3 (37:08):
So you've you you've been on the path to recovery,
and you're obviously still having some some struggles and and
you're talking about your faith still, what have you been
doing since this occurred to strengthen yourself and build yourself

(37:29):
up as far as your faith.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
Having more por more and more personal time but with
the most high, like making the time for it, but
not just asking f for things to be fixed, you
know what I mean, kind of just just becoming that relationship,
making it to where it's like I'm not a stranger,
cause I feel like I don't even wanna pray when

(37:54):
something went wrong like most people. Okay, I'm just gonna
be honest with it. A lot of us forget to
pray until it go bad. Name we won't pray like
we've been praying.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Our whole life.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
No, Ye, It's called being a nine one one Christian.
I mean, your faith shows up when you need him
the most in an emergency situation, then it's oh my God,
if you.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Let me survive this, I'll never do it here. So
it's just to you want to be a nine one
one Christian. No, No, And.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
Even though I'm not, I don't. I'm not Christian, but
I have come from a Christian background. I'm more into spirituality,
but I do believe in the most and I do
believe the Bible fully.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
Yeah, I just.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
I've seen some things to where I don't want to
be laid put in the label where I don't like
this person because of his religious preference, when I feel
like God's word is God's word. Okay, you can't tell
me this person is damn for damn nation and he's
a monk and he don't even curse.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Gotcha, you can't tell me that. So you got so
you got some conflicts, some questions and struggles with I
do I didn't.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
The faith just just got you, just a little thing.
Just when it comes to saying, like putting a bad
label for people like those are sinners.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
We all come from sinners, And how.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Do you how do you reconcile that? How does this
person who seem to be doing good things? But you're
telling me that person is going hell according to the
scriptures and is just as evil as this other sin
And so we have these questions come through often on
the platform, and when we have our empowerment sessions on Sunday,

(39:42):
we open up a time for people to just throw
it at me whatever questions you got, and I try
to provide as many answers as I can.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
One of the things that I try to do is
I try to always tell people listen, we gotta let
red words win.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
Forget my opinion, forget yours.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
If we want to know God, like what you're describing,
after your time of recovery begins, You're like, I want
to get closer to the Savior.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
I want to know God.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
I feel like that this is a time to turn
some things around in my life. So if we want
to know God, then we get to know him through
his word, because he said, you believe that the word
of God is solid, So therefore it's incoming upon us
to get to the point where we start to believe.

(40:34):
If God said it, that sells it. Don't matter whether
it make me mad or make somebody else mad, because.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
I got my thoughts. I got some people in my
family who are homosexual.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
This is my family. I love my family for sure.
So if you want to ask me if I love
my family, of course, that's my first cousin we talking about.
That's my cousin.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
I love him. And this is what the scripture saying.
What what do you mean? It ain't no choice because
you're not asking me something.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
You're not asking me if I think my cousin is
going here or going here, and about what I think.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
This is what the Word of God says.

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Doesn't mean I want somebody less because as a preacher
of the gospel teacher, it's my job to say what
the scriptures say, and I stand behind God's authority. And
you can kill the messenger if you want to, But
the Word of God is still alive.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
And so those are the battles, and it's okay to battle, y'all.
It's okay to struggle. And that's what I want more
and more people to understand.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
If you got questions, that's great. Get the answers. That's
all I ask. Get the answers, come to me, Come
to somebody else who's been in this thing for a
minute and can share with you and break it down
and show you what God says forget all the other opinions.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
So let's let's go back. Because you said that.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Before or you walked out of your apartment and were shot.
You said that there was a way of living that
had changed and you were trying to do some things better.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Who were you before?

Speaker 4 (42:16):
Well, same person I've been. I just I spent time.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
In prison, you know.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
So you went to Yeah I did. I'm not proud
of that.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
But we're not talking about DJJ with the kids. Were
talking about you went to the Big House. Yeah, okay,
I did.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
I did? How long did you do? I had got
served ten years? You served ten years? Yeah, eighty five.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Percent, but I did nine of it because they robbed
me for a couple.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Probably that were you when you went in prison.

Speaker 4 (42:46):
Man, My memory is bad, but in my twenties, so
I didn't get home til I was like thirty four. Wow.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah, ten years in the Big House. Give it TAKEE,
give it take right?

Speaker 4 (42:57):
Yeah, all flat time, though I didn't get out. That's
you had to get in.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
There and do the time and then you come home.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah. Walk me f through that first day of of
lock up.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Oh man, it was different. Different cause the first thing
you gotta tell yourself is you ain't a victim like
and you gotta tell yourself you gotta remain you cause
people get in there and get lost.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
So were you feeling sorry for yourself?

Speaker 6 (43:27):
No, I was upset at myself. You were mad at
yourself and for what you had done. They got you
locked up. Yeah, cause I I knew better. I knew
better what I mean, That's why I didn't call home
complain and crying.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
My my That's when my dad, he always respected about me.
He was like, you might have done something through him, he.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Said, but you never cried about it.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
You stood on your team, you took you did your time,
try and come come, come home and change. And you
got to see that for at least a year and
a half before you passed.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
You wanna tell us what you did?

Speaker 4 (43:58):
Yeah? Just robbery first banks, stuff like bank robbery.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
I heard the story about the dude rob the bank.
Why you keep robbing the banks because that's where the
money is. So you now we're.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
Talking, Hey, we're talking, Uh, we're talking with was it
oceans of leather?

Speaker 4 (44:22):
It was kind of like the old.

Speaker 5 (44:26):
Yeah give me the money.

Speaker 4 (44:28):
Yeah, one of those no nos. And that's what if
I'd have went, would have known that, probably would have
got less time.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Oh goodness, gracious.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
So you and the last one you got caught you
pulled them off the fire wrong you you.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Say, give me the money, and how'd you get caught?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
You ain't gonna believe this Jehovah's Witness.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
They would leave it first and foremost we thought it.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
Was a bank. It wasn't a bank.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
This was totally the dumbest, dumbest thing.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
I could have done in my life.

Speaker 4 (45:08):
Well, we're thinking it's a it's actually a credit place.
So when we get in there, I'm upset because it's
a credit unit. If they don't only got money in
the register, there's no vote.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
We have been misled by greed.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
I'm not gonna blame nobody. It was just pure greed.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
What's this a team?

Speaker 3 (45:29):
You were by yourself and somebody that part I can't
speak on good thank you. So you think this is
a bank and it's a fault, but it's really on
the credit union and living for him, and there's some
money in there.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
There's money in there, but it ain't nothing.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
It ain't And you walk in there and you got
your Firehof's witness.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
No, they call us coming out.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
So we walked out like it was normal, like you're
just leaving the place, and they knew what was going
on from the start, somebody was with you, so you
had help on us allegedly, okay, gotcha, gotcha?

Speaker 2 (46:05):
And lit and how did.

Speaker 4 (46:09):
Shows up? So we drove into this place. We didn't
know that it was a flower store like right.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
Next to it.

Speaker 1 (46:20):
That shit has just been the key side.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
To not do that like this, cause there was a
flower shop next to the credit Yeah, cause it was
just like a too. It was too many stores. It
was just too open, like it was sloppy.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Kids. Don't do that, gotcha, Please, don't don't rob nobody, don't.

Speaker 4 (46:39):
But so when we coming out, did Jehovah's witness had
noticed what was going on. So I think they went
in behind us into the store and figured out what
was going on. They had already rolled our license plates
down from the start because we're in they neighborhood. Were
in the all white neighborhood too at that allegedly, Well,

(47:04):
I was in our white neighborhood. Let me just say
that I can't speak on the wady can speak on me.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Okay, I was.

Speaker 4 (47:10):
I was in a white neighborhood. They thinking, what are
you doing here? Oh so you already standing out?

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, And I got on the hoodie, black hoodie.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Yeah, I don't look like I'm I look like I'm
up to no good. So I couldn't even be mad
at they profiled me because I was actually doing what
they was profiling.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Wow that right there. I hope you heard. What did
you say?

Speaker 4 (47:35):
I can't be mad.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
I can't. Is it profiling when you actually doing what
they're profiling for. It's not.

Speaker 4 (47:42):
It's actually truth saying.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
That's a whole other podcast.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
So in the midst and they were there just to
pick up flowers.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
That was it.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
They were just getting mass flowers. I knew it, like
it's coming out like I saw them. N it's just
daring and just knew it, like, yeah, they a better
tell on me.

Speaker 2 (48:03):
You still had your weapon out.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
No, so they don't know that you actually have robbed
the pain, but they they knew soths.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Wow A. So you in the car? You taking off?

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, I mean immediately leaving the place.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
Police warning five O was on you. When I say
Kentucky response time to crime is is good. Oh, it's good.
Don't lie to you anywhere else somewhere else. I ain't
gonna say what city, but it's about twenty minutes. It's
a little slow, you got a little time. This went

(48:40):
from twenty minutes to t to a minute. Wow, oh
they were on the sing. So in the midst of that,
I make a wrong turn. Like I said, I was
by myself. I can't put nobody else in this. I
make a wrong term. Instead of going north, I go

(49:00):
south deeper into Kentucky. Oh, they really ain't a black
folk down there. So I'm like, nothing is looking familiar.
No more so it's like, oh goodness, you driving fast
your home?

Speaker 2 (49:14):
Them they chasing you.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
Yeah, we wouldn't even I wouldn't driving that fast at first,
but I kept feeling like somebody was following. Tell me
why the Jehovah's witness followed us on the highway until
the police got to you.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
No, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 4 (49:34):
Next thing I knowed state troopers and they ain't come
out with guns drawing, And I'm thinking, all.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
Right, I mean, can you took it?

Speaker 4 (49:43):
I mean clans Land, Kentucky. I'm'a just call it like
I see it. I was in clans Land. They come
out with big guns. I'm thinking, you know what, I
can't fight that. Let me go ahead, drive about it here, Okay,
So take 'em on the high speed chase.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
So you took off, you get the gas going out fast,
too fast, you can drive him too fast and ke
Kentucky and the state troopers was.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
In opposite got passed. Three spike strips.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
You evaded them. It was like a movie.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
Three three spike strips. Three, Oh I can I got
I got my popcorn, popcorn and.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Just got it on mute, so you can't.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
After the third spike strip, they get a little angry.
They frustrated. We're going past the semi. Now we all
know semis have radios.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yes, and the radios are hard to outrun. You can
out run the truck. Maybe you're gonna run the cop.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
But semi that works for the that that's that, that's
what they do. So in the midst of us trying
to pass the semi, he cut us off.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
So but he fish tailed a little bit.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
We go out into the gravel, come back in and
flip under the semi six times. I shouldn't be here again.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Were you? Did you have your seatbelt on? No?

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Come on, man, come on, you a seatbet you flip
he end up on the semi and you walk away.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yeah, I'm not lying to you.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Like this. This was on the news too.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
And so in addition to what he experienced after he
was shot, this is prior to all of that with
his brother. You're talking about using up your your grace,
when when the scripture says God is given angels charge
over you and unless you dash your foot against a stone,
he didn't dash his foot against stones, rocks, anvils, bowling

(51:50):
balls like he using up all this. It ain't hardly
no more left in the tank as far as his
grace and his guardian angel is exhausted.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
You understand, man, So here you go. They got you.
You up under a sa my truck.

Speaker 4 (52:06):
So I'm about to tell you another bizarre thing. I
didn't pass out under the flipping like I blacked out.
I remember hitting the dashboard and going completely black, but I.

Speaker 2 (52:18):
Remember hitting the steering wheel and waking back up.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
So after the last flip the tire you got kicked
off to the ground, I hop off the car.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
And I run until you're running.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
Yeah, don't laugh, man.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
The only reason this is funny is because how is
this possible?

Speaker 2 (52:41):
Is this dude gonna be the matter with this dude?
Are you wolverine? This dude gets broke up flipped the
upside down under the tractor trailer, and his next event
is he takes off running.

Speaker 4 (52:53):
So I'm running with a busted nose cavity. So this
up here is split where I hit the dashboards. I'm bleeding,
I know.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
So I'm thinking I'm doing the most.

Speaker 4 (53:02):
So I don't know where I'm going. The thing is,
I'm on the highway in Kentucky, and Kentucky I'm about
to end up on Billy Bob's plate in the backyard somewhere.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Hear me. I'm not gonna lie to you.

Speaker 4 (53:19):
So I run to the woods.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
I don't know where I do that.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
My legs is strong.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
I'm hopping over the fences of being.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
Reminded of that scene from Polk Fiction when they start
fighting and rolling into the into.

Speaker 7 (53:33):
The shop, go getting it in. Okay, So you running
in Kentucky, listen. So running and I just collapsed like.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
The trauma from the car wreck.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Family caught up and I just fall down.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
And when I say, these cops, what's racist and terrible?
They was terrible, kicking my face out in the mud.
Then they had this big dog. I don't know if
you know the breed, but it's called a king shepherd.
It's not a regular German shepherd at all. It make
it like a German shepherd look like a fool one,

(54:12):
making like a puppy. They said, let that boy up,
so if you run again, I said, no, so wow,
I ain't got me. No, I don't put me in
that car. I'm ready to go through the time. I
ain't gotta run no more. I see that I can't
out run that.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
I could not run. Y'all right, you think I'm gonna
run that king shepherd. I gotta google that.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
So I mean go in the car, you know what
I mean, go through the initial lock up. So you
gotta go through county first.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
So are you injured? They're not taking you the hospital taking.

Speaker 4 (54:45):
Yea, he took me to the hospital. But them white
folks wan't trying to let us get seen like they
got us all. We gotta we got a firm going.
Oh you know where they put me at.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
It's a drunk tank. So mind you.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
They give them medicine because I got an open science cabiny.
They said, his next couple of weeks, he's about to
be sensitive the.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Light and sound.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
And I know you don't not familiar with the prison system.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
But the drunk tank is everything butt piece and quiet.

Speaker 5 (55:25):
So when you need a piece in quiet and low light,
you get noise, turmoil and bright lights and ants and
ants oh okay, and steal bread.

Speaker 4 (55:41):
So in there I just was like, you know what,
I made a plan on myself. I'm an stick to
myself because everybody think they know about president. Until you
get there, you always gotta assume like all right, well
this is going on. That's going on, like well I
should give me this because I gotta protect myself.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
I ain't gonna do this cause that.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
But then when you get in and you start seeing
it like okay, it it's got its own government.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
It's its own government.

Speaker 4 (56:10):
Prison when they say prison laws and effect, like it's
certain thays you can't do. It's a respect thing there,
like you gotta be you gotta be willing to earn
take your respect, and earn your respect, you know what
I mean? For me, I kept quiet to myself a lot,
so I really didn't get into a lot. Plus people
just be naturally like drawn to me, like bro especially

(56:32):
at that time. We was in the county. We was
on the news, so everybody thought it was funny, like
so it was kind of like, bro, we saw you
on the news yesterday, Like I'm like, alright, bruh, Like
you know what I mean. It was more or less
just still upset. So I was angry. So my mind
is if somebody tried me in there, I'm gonna spend

(56:54):
all this time that judge gave me and I'm gonna
take it out of the member.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
So you you you going into the big house for
the first time.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
And and for me, I'm having flashbacks of Shaw Shank
redemption and getting off the bus.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
I want that I got first.

Speaker 4 (57:15):
And everybody see how they do it in there, the
old It wouldn't that you see, that's what people would think.
People be whistling. Yeah, you got lots of people watching.

Speaker 2 (57:25):
But they ain't whistling. They trying to see.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
They're trying to see how you move, like because you
around a bunch of predators. So they gonna sniff out
any type of weakness, like all that tough act. They
want the ones that's real loud first, the ones that
act super tough.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
That's the ones that get the hardest beating.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Really, because you gonna have to prove it every day
from the other Yeah, you don't have to prove, you
have to prove you tough, especially you ain't nobody dealing
with that. Then you got other stuff that goes on.
You got drugs that go on, You got all that
weird activity. You know what I'm saying, you gotta stay
away from now. You gotta know when to go to
the shire, when to go to the library. You need

(58:05):
to hurry up and eat because at this time these
people come in and they be on that.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
So it's it's it's a whole different ball game. And
how are you learning these things? These rules?

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Who's teaching watching? Just from observing observing?

Speaker 4 (58:18):
And then I was blessed to always, uh, get get
in touch with some good dudes man, some good guys.
Some guys that just made bad choices.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
But they was businessman.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
They had this going, this going, and they were working
on they they were working on themself.

Speaker 2 (58:36):
They was in there.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
I was seeing guys that was heavy in they faith
like it was this guy named e Man. When I
say this guy, he was down for twenty years.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
Brothers devoted Christian.

Speaker 4 (58:48):
When I could say one brother I've seen and I
don't know, I believe him. Like you know, most people
when they in jail, they call them bibran thumpers.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
They just want to you know what I man, if
you let me out, I'll change my ways. He was
not like that. He was heaven in the church like
and I'm.

Speaker 4 (59:04):
Pretty sure like once he get home, he gonna be
heavy in the church because that's his call. Like you
know what I mean. When he preached the word in there,
he was really preaching it. So just being around positivity.
And it's hard to find and hate stack like that
because you.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Got all type of predators.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
You've got to make sure that you ain't.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
In the market at all times.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
I don't care who the market like up for grass,
like saying like oh not just no sexual stuff like
oh people bully people like friendly a store people like
oh man, you know, dude, he'll probably send his friend
that you ride, somebody that's tough and he keep on,
you know what I mean, somebody we heep bullying on
the his step being like, man, you know, if you
pay me a week, I'll keep every week. I'll keep

(59:45):
them off of you. Oh. When I say up for market,
it ain't all sexual in there, right, you know what
I mean? Because and there it ain't.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
It's so much of the willing the gay stuff.

Speaker 4 (59:56):
They don't have to do that stuff though, No, because
people are lily doing this though I kept myself over here.
You know what I mean, I'm coming away. I'm coming
in a way. I'm leaving how I came in straight,
You understand me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
I don't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
So you're saying, you know it's not there's not a whole.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
There's nothing whole atmosphere where people rape you and force you,
because there's.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Plenty of people doing it willingly, willingly.

Speaker 4 (01:00:25):
Wow, I'm not even gonna lie to you any people
you don't expect like you know what I'm saying. That's
why when I'm was saying, you gotta know when to
go to church services. You gotta especially in there because
they be defiling everything. And then you got certain guards
that might let something happen to you on your shift.
So you know, like, all right, I don't like that guard.
So he down at the way pals and let me

(01:00:46):
not go while he owned his shift. I'm gonna skip
the yard because I might get into it with It's
easy to get into with people.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
You got a bunch of people in their upset and
you're trying to keep clear from any unnecessary in case.

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
If I don't, then I ain't going to like You
know what I'm saying. If I don't have to fight,
I ain't going to fight. You know what I'm saying.
I'm sticking to myself. I'm in there reading, I'm trying
to figure out the business side of music because I
like music. I'm trying to work on my drawing. I'm
just trying to become a better son, a better man.
Everything I can be in. All that stuff that's going
on in prison ain't gonna help me be a better

(01:01:21):
man on the streets. It's gonna help me be a
domy to keep coming back.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
So I like this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
What you're disclosing right now is that while you're in
this position, and you're admitting that you just some dumb
stuff to in order to get in there, and while
you're there, your mind is now focused on the future.
What's next, See, what's what's coming next, what's after this?

(01:01:49):
You know, I'm reminded that this, you know that will
be glory after this. And this is about somebody having
a made up mind to where you take full responsibility
for where you are in life, and you also take
the same responsibility for becoming somebody different. Yeah, and you're

(01:02:10):
saying that's what motivates you, thatd you through those way
you say ten years.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
Yeah, yeah, and it was just because I wanted something
better than that, you know what I mean. I didn't
give myself a chance. So I know in their life, Man,
it's about to be difficult, Like you need to prepare
for what's gonna happen, Like you're gonna have people thinking
all type of stuff about you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
You did ten years.

Speaker 4 (01:02:33):
People only think with they mind because they weak minded, Like,
oh he had to be this because no, like I
learned how to control stuff in her. I like when
my money was low and I couldn't eaven, I had
to learn how to control to go deal with my
stomach pains. I had to teach my mind that it
was stronger than my stomach. That's stuff that a normal
human don't have to think about.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
What do you mean going without eating in prison?

Speaker 5 (01:02:57):
They do?

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
You get three meals a day.

Speaker 4 (01:02:58):
Man, Listen, if you go on a lie down or
if it's something you don't eat.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Also lockdown like like solitary case is so wrong and.

Speaker 4 (01:03:07):
Nah nah, just even when like say if they short
stab or just they felt like locking the walk the
yard down, they will or if you're fighting, man, listen,
if you ain't got money and all you got is
those three meals.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
That so they provide three meals at certain times of
the day. And if you miss one of those meals
or whatever, so you just missed it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
They give you a sack lunch if you want that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:34):
So I'm telling you what that is. Yeah, it could
be a ba Looney sandwich. It could be a a.

Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
Pepper jack sandwich. That done ain't pepper jack. I mean
it's it pepper loaf. I should say, it's terrible. Okay,
everything in their terror.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
So who's so who's sending you money while you're in there?

Speaker 4 (01:03:52):
My mother, my father, my brothers. I had a good
support of some too. I don't have as I call
him brothers. So when I say brothers, that just clul
with my close friend. You know you don't have too
friends betray your your family, you know, stick by you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
So people were stepping up for you, being there when
you needed them the most. Yeah, tell me about in
the ten years or however long was the exact time
that you were locked up.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
Tell me about your worst day and.

Speaker 4 (01:04:25):
Lock up my worst day was learning that my dad
was sick. That crushed me because I knew he wasn't
being totally honest with me of his condition. My dad
was dying foremost. But see he got sick my fourth

(01:04:49):
year in there, like he got sick, yep, my f
around my fourth year then once a oh my bad,
I'm just that's a hard memory thing about my dad
getting sick. So I found that out, and you know,
President was just kind.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
I ain't got no apologies here, go ahead.

Speaker 4 (01:05:06):
It was like, dang, man, if I lose my pops,
like you dumb like you, you spent all his time away
from your family, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
What I mean? Who did you find out he was sick? Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:05:17):
He finally told. He finally told, Like he sent this
they called jpey videos, so he sent me in jpeg.
It was just a I saw it. I saw how
sick he was.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
So he wasn't just was he actually in the hospital
at this time when' he no five you or was
he home sick and getting ready Gold hospital?

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
He was homesick, getting ready God hospital.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
Okay, And that's that's when he you know what I mean,
he had my dadd he was on dialysis and he
had it just a work failure.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
Flow and and you and Loco. Yeah, and he was
there for you when you were man.

Speaker 4 (01:05:51):
He been there in my whole life, even when I
was upset at even didn't seela eye, he was still there. Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:05:56):
He always knew what was going on with me. And
now you can't be there for And I was like.

Speaker 4 (01:06:02):
That crushed me, you know what I'm saying. And then
when he actually died, He died when I was in
jail too, on the way coming home.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Yeah, and they.

Speaker 4 (01:06:13):
And they had to bring you back to life. They
died like three times that day. They said they had to.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Keep on doing it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:21):
And they they didn't even tell me. Which I'm not
mad at my family because I know how meny close
to me and my dad is and they know my
attitude like when it come to like stuff like that.
They didn't want me to be in there fighting and
and all that cause I lost two brothers. Brother I
was locked up too, and hearing about that, Semi over
there put me in lock up because I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
Locked up. Yeah. Yeah, how did they die? Street violence? No?

Speaker 4 (01:06:47):
I actually natural causes, if you wanna say that. Okay,
my youngest wim brother he died of bone cancer. That's Stepan,
Like he was only twenty three.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
That's awful.

Speaker 4 (01:06:58):
Yeah, that was the that was the homie, you know
what I mean, I little broke, you know. But then
my other brother he died in his sleep, Brandon Richardson.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
That was my heart family.

Speaker 4 (01:07:11):
That's not my biological brother, but that's my brother, you know,
since you and not her deep.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
So this is just really.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
This is outstanding for me, just an example of how
the choices that we make that just affect us texts everybody. Yeah,
there's other people connected to you, the people that you love,
and every choice that you make. See when the box
says choose this day at whom you will serve, it's
like it sounds like that's just real simple.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Or do I want to serve God or I want
to serve myself? Yeah, but every choice that you make has.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
Consequences, repercussions and tentacles. Your grandmother chose God from all
those years, and now she's able to share the gospel
with you and get you right. And so now your
choice doing what you did, you locked up and some
of the people that you loved the most started leaving.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
They are out of here, and you can't even be
there feel.

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
Yeah you come Then when you finally do come home
from out from doing all the time, it's just like
you feel like an alien to the world. Mm Like
nothing is the same. Everybody that you once knews different
people because they've been through a whole cycle of life
without you. You come home, you see pictures and family

(01:08:32):
events of years and you're not in it, and they smiling,
and in your mind you thinking like, damn they was happy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
I wasn't. But they didn't put you there, Boddy. You
put you there and you just missed out. That was you. Wow.
Can't be mad at nobody but yourself.

Speaker 4 (01:08:47):
And that's one thing I learned in prison was accountability
and patience, cause you gotta wait for everything.

Speaker 2 (01:08:55):
Gotta wait, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
Times I'm trying to get stuff back in court, get time,
all that stuff. It just teach you patience because in
there it's to break you. It's not to rehabilitation. It's
to break you.

Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
Like I'm geared. I don't care what they say.

Speaker 4 (01:09:12):
If it was to real abilitate a person, they would
have programs and stuff set up for feelings when they
come out. Okay, they don't like they tell you to
get some mestal health services, but they don't even help
you for real. They just think you're trying to get
a checked. They don't know a person really trying to, Like, man,
I just you know what I just seen in there
where I was at, Like I am not normal.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Like I just seen some stuff in there. My god.

Speaker 4 (01:09:38):
When I say some stuff, I don't seen some stuff. Yeah, men,
stuff that I don't want to never see. I don't
wanna smell those smells because of long time coming home.
Like I used to wake up back in jail. Wow,
didn't even know if I was home. And my mind
was so warped in jail. I didn't know the reality

(01:09:59):
of me in free. It took me two years here.
I've only been home for three going on four. Still
don't feel real. Still feel like at any moment, I'm
waking back up out of this dream and back into
that night.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
And that's an everyday thing.

Speaker 4 (01:10:18):
It's difficult, and it's like people don't realize the stuff
that I've been facet against. And you know what I mean,
They told see you like carrying on like, oh yeah,
he's strong, he'd be okay.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
Are you sure?

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
So you're saying you can come out of there not okay, yeah,
big time, Okay, big time. So we're talking possibly it's
possible PTSD.

Speaker 2 (01:10:44):
Coming out of prison for all of those years.

Speaker 4 (01:10:47):
And then don't. And then I got locked up during COVID.
Oh boy, everything change definitely different. But the prison is
even scarier because now you got these people coming in
that's going to these like these people.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
Is getting infected.

Speaker 4 (01:11:02):
I have uh it may die in the same room
in the open door.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
He died, had a.

Speaker 4 (01:11:09):
Brain just don't know what caused it. But you know
what them people did. They let that man die because
they was worried about putting handcuffs.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
On him instead of get him to the into the
to the medics, because they worried about COVID.

Speaker 4 (01:11:23):
No putting his handcuffs on putting his handcuffs. I know,
I jumped over as I deal with COVID, but I
had somebody die in the camp I was at and
I see you.

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
So you're saying because they were trying to get handcuffs
on on him as opposed to giving him a medical attention.

Speaker 4 (01:11:43):
Yeah, they just let him die, like slam the man's head.
And then and then the story on COVID. This guy went.
He kept telling them people like, hey, I don't feel good.
I don't feel good. I don't feel good. They're like, man,
just come back, put in the shit, call come back tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
He said, Bro, ain't coming back to me. I'm gonna
die if y'all don't see me.

Speaker 4 (01:12:02):
Now you heard him say this, no, no, this is
he's next to the walk. I heard him telling them
he need to be you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
He need him be seen.

Speaker 4 (01:12:12):
And one of his partners was on my walk too,
so he was concerned about his friends. So he like, man,
he keep telling him like, bro, if they don't see him,
he's gonna die. You're gonna die, Henna, look right and
look right. So he word next day he did. He
died related death. Wow, that's what they say.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
At least you don't know what's going on in there.

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
Man, I ain't about to put no faster. But people
dieing here.

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
All the time, all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
So you feel like when you got out, you didn't
receive the help that you needed.

Speaker 2 (01:12:48):
Not for real, No I didn't. No, I didn't.

Speaker 4 (01:12:51):
I had to support my mom, my dad and a
few real real strong close love.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
I was like those people know they are.

Speaker 4 (01:13:03):
Some people did things out of pity or out of cause.
A lot of guys that did some things behind my
back when I was in jails, a lot of people
was trying to do stuff to keep me off of
them too, you know what I mean. During a lot
of time, people do things behind your back. When you gone,
you gone, like when you ain't in the picture. That's
how they treat it. Are you you don't care?

Speaker 2 (01:13:24):
And nothing you can do about it?

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
Though nothing, And they tell you that in nerve too, like, man,
you better forget that word out there.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
Wow, this ain't this ain't your that ain't your world
no more. So speak to the young brothers out here
that's on the street.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Let's just say as young as fourteen, they out on
the street, they can hang banging the real seeking gune,
total violent. They just two steps away from being locked up.
But many of them, I think that being locked up

(01:14:07):
or spending some time in prison is a badge of honor,
Like it's something you make you more of a real
dude street right?

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
What what from your experience? What would you say to
those young brothers.

Speaker 4 (01:14:22):
I tell them to look when they hearing these stories
from them, guys, like, listen closely, because it ain't just
it ain't people glorifying it. It's they happy they made
it through hell. Mm hmm, Like a lot of people
don't make it through prison. Man, people get broke. Like
I didn't seen guys eat their own pool because they
couldn't take it. M I'd have been in the psyche,

(01:14:45):
the psyche part of it. I mean, I didn't went crazy.
I had to go get you know what I mean.
Being in the hole for too long it do that
to you, you know what I mean. And so when
I tell them young guys, like, don't make a one
second decision costs. Don't let a one second decision cost

(01:15:08):
you your life. Cause that one second you didn't think
to not do that thing that you wouldn't supposed to do.
Like you know what I'm saying, Like that's gonna change
your life. One second can give you a lifetime of pain.
So take that one second that you was about to
do that and jump on and think about it. Think
about what you're doing. Mm got too, Like, think about
the consequence, Think about the consequences, and then not just

(01:15:31):
for you, you might be willing to accept those consequences. And
then once you think, think about the consequences and things
gonna put it through for your family, especially because everybody
got somebody to care about, I believe, So you know
what I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:15:45):
Did your mother ever tell you how you being incarcerated
made her feel?

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
Yeah, it was that like, oh that was just that
was a real pain experience.

Speaker 4 (01:15:58):
Like I had to see it on earth walking in
the courtroom, shack it up like am.

Speaker 2 (01:16:04):
You could see it on her.

Speaker 4 (01:16:04):
I saw she't have to say anything, just crying. I
ain't just crying, just silently crying. It's like it was
eating her inside. And you know who did it?

Speaker 5 (01:16:14):
Then?

Speaker 4 (01:16:14):
White folks ain't doing it. Her son did it. Her
son made her son do that, you know what I mean?
They didn't do that. That's just the outcome of what
I did. So when you play in those fields, you
gotta take those consequences. So many times, these guys, these
young guys jump in the streets and they ain't willing
us to take everything to come with it, because this

(01:16:37):
lifestyle brings so much and you don't want it sure
real sometimes.

Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
You don't know what you don't know for real, and
they think one thing about what's gonna happen if I
go steal this car, go rob his bank, or go
rob his person. Yeah, but oftentimes what you're saying is
the consequences can be beyond anything that you got any

(01:17:01):
idea about.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Oh yeah, you could put yourself in a situation where.

Speaker 4 (01:17:04):
You you don't even know how you gonna make it,
just because of why to the image, you know what
I mean. I'm not talking down on the guys that
had to be industries, you know what I'm saying. It's
a difference some some some some of us coming from
less fortunate ways where we don't get.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
The same opportunities.

Speaker 4 (01:17:27):
That's not an excuse, you know, we all got a choice,
but it's a reason.

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
But it's a reason like some of these guys.

Speaker 2 (01:17:34):
Just doing it to be cool.

Speaker 4 (01:17:36):
M Like, if you hustling and you gotta hold supporters
of what you're hustling for.

Speaker 3 (01:17:42):
And many of us, you know, we talked about the
absent father situation, that type mind. You know, many of
us gets out to the gang situation because of preer pressure,
but also because of a sense of belonging.

Speaker 4 (01:17:53):
I know all about that too. I've been there. I've
been down that room too. That sense of brotherhood that
since it belonged, and I don't want to disclose all that,
but that was a part of my life.

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
It's your family, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
It's just being real. So I understand like both sides
of the aspects, the negative and the positive, you know
what I mean. As I could see the positive of
a brotherhood of building up each other, having a support system,
but the negative is in that we're doing something totally
illegal at times. If we could take this same aspect

(01:18:28):
and bring it over here, we wouldn't have no problem.
But we It's hard to transition from one stage to
another sometimes because everybody don't transition with you sometimes. So
these might be your guys, your bros.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
These just the.

Speaker 4 (01:18:42):
Guys, you know what I mean. But every one of
your guys ain't on elevating. Some of these guys like
staying like this, like this, this is where I'm at,
Like they like that lifestyle, and you gotta learn how
to decipher.

Speaker 2 (01:18:56):
For you, like.

Speaker 4 (01:18:59):
It's it's what you want, is just all you gonna
get because you know what the outcome is that yeah,
you got a few get successful out the streets, but
very few. It's like winning the lottery. Wow, So it's
up to you at the end of the day, and
it's like a lot of times it's harder to do.

Speaker 2 (01:19:19):
The right thing.

Speaker 4 (01:19:21):
It's a lot easier to do the wrong thing. M
a lot easier, especially coming in I'm pretty sure you
co come from the urban area where you don't seen
stuff yourself, you know what I mean, Like a lot
of us see stuff or every day just for being
around stuff or knowing somebody. And I'm pretty sure you
can't preach to some trouble kids or some trouble people.

(01:19:42):
Then you be like, man, I ain't know you was
living like that. You never know what a person go through. Man,
I feel like we so quick the place judgment and
blame them somebody, you know what I mean, or just
that judgment period. Like you know what I mean, you
gotta start stop doing it and start taking in situation
u consideration of the person's situation or they circumstances. Man,

(01:20:04):
not just trying to think that a person just trying to
make it as an excuse me. Maybe that's all that
person knows. Instead of like saying that's all an excuse
give that person a different way. Now, if you choose
not to take that different way, then Okay, then yeah,
he's being stuck and your judgment can be passed on correctly.
But if you never gave that man another way or
that person another way to do anything, how can you

(01:20:25):
expect them to change? You know what I mean? So's
it's been a lot, man, Just dealing with everything's been
a lot. Man.

Speaker 3 (01:20:35):
How did your siblings, Because you talked about how much
you love your siblings, how did your siblings respond to
you being incarcerated?

Speaker 2 (01:20:42):
They was upset? I know they was. I know they
was upset.

Speaker 4 (01:20:46):
Did you have a talk with him after work or
during during and afters They was upset, but they loved me.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
It was just like it was hurt. It's just like
sometimes you.

Speaker 4 (01:20:55):
On the phone, all your hear is how you hurt people.
It got to the point I stopped using for I'm
for a second, I just stopped. I ain't denying my
visits all that stuff. For sixty days, I was only
talking to my mom and my dad.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
That was it.

Speaker 4 (01:21:09):
I ain't gonna talk to nobody else. This is just
too painful, too pain because I know I caused it. Like,
how can I can I make that better? Like I
got people that's depending on me, Like that I feel like, bro,
you left me or really And at the time, I'm
trying to say tell them, like, well, I felt like
y'all left me where I.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Was at, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:21:29):
I was drowning in troubles, like can't nobody see that what.

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
I was doing through while you was out there in
the street from the.

Speaker 4 (01:21:36):
Streets, Like, ain't nobody see that? It felt like I
couldn't come to nobody. So now y'all trying to me.
I was getting confused, like, now y'all telling me how
important I am. I couldn't tell me that then.

Speaker 3 (01:21:47):
Now it's just really good. I do not want to
move past this moment when we're talking about powerful living.
And I always talked to my followers about how to
make your faith show up in your life, how to
be genuine and authentic and have a real faith in

(01:22:08):
Jesus Christ, And we always talk about it's how you
show up for people. Now, this man just told you
not to make an excuse and say I did these
things because nobody was checking on me. But what he's
saying is I needed somebody to check on me, and
nobody did.

Speaker 2 (01:22:29):
And maybe he didn't even.

Speaker 3 (01:22:30):
Know what he didn't know, But what would have happened
had somebody who said, why he locked up? Man, we
miss you, we love you, blah blah blah. If somebody
had to say that to me at the time, it
might have changed my whole mode of operation. Because people
sometimes don't know their value until you let them know
about it. It's called being a stand for other people.

(01:22:54):
It's called calling people into their purpose. Where you can
pull somebody aside and your family or even it's a
friend coworker, and you know, they got a bad attitude
about life and they go in the wrong direction, and
you take the time and take a chance and call
them into something greater.

Speaker 2 (01:23:12):
That's powerful living, that's being a stand for somebody else.

Speaker 3 (01:23:17):
Sometimes you need to call people out of darkness because
he's you know, he says, the harvest is plentiful, But
what is few? The laborers?

Speaker 2 (01:23:31):
He said? The laborers are few. The harvest is white. Man.
Look at the fields, he said, look away, those few.
Look this is all that harvest is ready.

Speaker 3 (01:23:39):
People are ready and willing to come into the Kingdom
of God. But it's sometimes because we as a people
of God aren't being His hands and feet.

Speaker 2 (01:23:47):
The way we should be.

Speaker 4 (01:23:48):
Putting work.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
We're not putting into work the way we should be.

Speaker 3 (01:23:52):
One thing, you say a lot about the Jehovah's witness,
then this brother got some experience with Jovahs is a little.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
But them brothers put in the work.

Speaker 4 (01:24:00):
Oh yeah, they.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
Witness in the end, they count. And this is where
we went and writing down the address and listen.

Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
They out in the streets and you sit down, you
you you you ad that drive through or you have to,
you have to stop light, and you see them over
there with their little tent signs sitting on the sidewalk.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
If one and the two they out there too, and
you just try to look straight ahead. I guess you
don't want them to. You really find like to hear
every turn. Great, I guess you don't want to look
at them. You know what they're out there doing. They're
trying to show up for people.

Speaker 3 (01:24:30):
And you can believe or disbelieve what they believe, but
what you can't disagree with is that them fellas are
out there doing that work. And that's what believers in
Jesus Christ should be doing, showing up for people.

Speaker 2 (01:24:43):
Because just like my man Maid's here is.

Speaker 3 (01:24:45):
Saying it matters.

Speaker 4 (01:24:50):
Always tell somebody that you.

Speaker 2 (01:24:52):
Love them, care about them, and just.

Speaker 4 (01:24:54):
Just hear them out and not just trying to hear
their problem and try to fix it. Just hear them out,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:24:59):
What I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:25:00):
Sometimes perfect people just want you to hear him cause
they don't feel like they have a voice. At one
point in time, I started acting out because I felt
like I didn't have a voice. I was always this quiet,
soft spoken person, So I felt like I got attention
more when I acted out, when I did certain things,
you know what I mean. That's when I started getting
Oh now you get in respect. Like at first, it

(01:25:23):
felt like I wouldn't get into respect. I was just invisible.
That's how I felt for a while. I felt invisible
and visible.

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:25:31):
Like people just like alright, or just he get over it,
he be fine, he good.

Speaker 2 (01:25:37):
Like that's when it come to me like, yeah, he's strong.

Speaker 3 (01:25:39):
Due.

Speaker 4 (01:25:39):
I like even to this day, like I tell people
I get shot, they just look like, alright, they look
like you sure like you look like you alright, see
what I'm saying. And that's how they take that.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
You see what we do? You see That's what se
scripture says. Man looks at the hour of appearance. But
God looks at the heart. See, we always use that
in the aspect of don't judge me, God knew my heart.

Speaker 2 (01:26:01):
Yeah, but just listen, there's more to that.

Speaker 3 (01:26:03):
And that's how the context and now to deal with
that right in nother podcast, Lord in Mercy.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
But since man looks on the outward appearance, stop that.
Stop that. I'm talking to the believers. It sings of God.
You better check on somebody. Hey, how are you today?
I ain't. I ain't seen you at bowling lately. You
good call somebody, send somebody a text message. It could

(01:26:30):
make all the difference. I'm telling you from my own experience.

Speaker 3 (01:26:33):
Shators and another podcasts I meet Minister Flowers. Been in
the ministry.

Speaker 2 (01:26:37):
For how long?

Speaker 3 (01:26:38):
I think I had been in the ministry for like
twenty years at that point. But Bro, I was going
through a divorce, twenty three years of marriage coming down
like the Hindenburg crashing and.

Speaker 2 (01:26:49):
Burning, and it was nothing I could do about it.

Speaker 3 (01:26:51):
And I'm sitting on the back porch with a forty
caliber pistol to my head save sanctify I feel with
the Holy Ghost. That's right, and about that put a
hold in my head and somebody called me. Somebody called me, mate.

Speaker 8 (01:27:15):
And said, what what's gonna happen when all the guys
that you mentor on Monday and Friday at the basketball Ministry,
What's gonna happen to them when they find out Minister.

Speaker 3 (01:27:28):
Flowers killed himself. H See, that was my mentor calling
me to a greater purpose. You are more than what's
happening right now in this moment. There's more available for you.
But I needed to see somebody to make that phone call.

(01:27:49):
While I'm sitting in my stupid head self up on
the back porch, I was.

Speaker 2 (01:27:53):
I was under oppression. I was under attack of the enemy.
It was weighing me down, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:28:00):
In a phone call changed my life and it might
be the reason why I'm here today.

Speaker 2 (01:28:05):
Check on somebody, please do and.

Speaker 4 (01:28:07):
Then and and and I wanna add another thing. And
then when people are checking on you accept it. Sometimes
I know that it ain't always coming from a bad place,
cause that coulda been my case too.

Speaker 2 (01:28:18):
I I I know.

Speaker 4 (01:28:20):
My dad was always struggle reach out and I just
kept like, I got it, Dad, I got it, I
got it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
I got it.

Speaker 4 (01:28:26):
I didn't know how it. So at times you can
block those. So I'm saying is I'm pretty sure I
could have blocked sometimes too. I'm not perfect, man, I'm
not saying that when I that's just how I felt.
When I'm speaking on feeling, it's not always the truth
of how you feel, right, you know what I mean.

(01:28:48):
That's just how you feel, you know what I mean.
So I'm I feel like those around me, my peers,
those that I was around day to day, they could
have made the phone call and figured out what was
going on to you. Dad made it a point like, man,
hold on, my god, something ain't right. What's going on
over here? Like you just need to come back on me,

(01:29:10):
And kept lying to him, tell him I ain't got
nothing going on.

Speaker 2 (01:29:13):
And then next thing, you know, this this goppening. So
he was checking over here. You weren't allowing on yourself
to be checked to.

Speaker 4 (01:29:24):
I blocked my purpose, you know. And and for that
there are consequences. And when God set you down and
they to discipline you is to correct you sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:29:36):
And feel like punishment though, cause it's like all right,
time out.

Speaker 4 (01:29:40):
It might be a long time out, but it's correct,
you like, because if you sit down and see why
he slowed it down. You'll see like, oh man, I
was heading here. He wouldn't gonna be able to pull
me back from this one. So he stopped me here.
For why he went even you need further, He's put
me at the stairs still point, like listen, you sure

(01:30:00):
you wanna go down this road? This what's gonna be
for you? He met me, He allowed me to see
that experience that firsthand, Like this, how you wanna live
your life?

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
This is one option for you? You know what?

Speaker 4 (01:30:15):
The second only is what you gonna do. Yeah, And
that's a hard decision. That's a choice that you That's
the decision you gotta wake up with every day. Like
what can I do to make sure I'm being the
best meat?

Speaker 2 (01:30:31):
So let's talk about that. Let's talk about the best
version of you. You.

Speaker 3 (01:30:35):
You did your crime, you served your time, You got
a criminal background record that's gonna follow you for the
rest of your life. Yeah, I know you probably struggling
to find a job because of those things other stuff.
This is something that we need to be having conversations
about too, y'all. Somebody, somebody pay their debt to society
by two in ten years. They can't vote anymore, they

(01:30:59):
can I get to fight stuff, can't be around firearm
or get that kind of stuff. But you can't do this,
You can't do that anymore. Nobody wants to hire them anymore.
And when we talk about the problems that we have
with recidivism where people get locked up, they get set
free and then they go right back in there within
six months, Like, there's something going on with society where

(01:31:21):
we need to help people to be restored. And that's
the beautiful thing about the Kingdom of God because it's
different than how the kingdom of the world is. And
when God forgives you for your sins, he says, I
will remember them no more.

Speaker 2 (01:31:34):
M But that is not how society is.

Speaker 3 (01:31:37):
And so this brother Maze, you got your life ahead
of you.

Speaker 2 (01:31:42):
Naturally you feel like healing. You still got some healing
to do and everything, but it's like, now, what's next.

Speaker 3 (01:31:49):
What are some of the things that you need in
order to become the best version of yourself from.

Speaker 2 (01:31:53):
Here on out? What's next for you?

Speaker 1 (01:31:56):
To rebuild my self confidence?

Speaker 4 (01:31:58):
You know what I mean? Because I felt like I've
been my biggest doubter because I've been upset with myself
for so long and coming home out of prison.

Speaker 2 (01:32:09):
You angry.

Speaker 1 (01:32:10):
You don't know why you angry. It's just angry.

Speaker 4 (01:32:12):
It's just mad, like cause you start seeing stuff though
that was around that no more like like my street
that I grew up on don't even look like my
street though. I mean the hospital took over my my
grandmother's house, like it don't even look like our street
at all, like at all. So coming back, when you
start to see stuff that's gone and the people that's gone,

(01:32:36):
and you don't remember, like dang, I can't call, I
can't call.

Speaker 2 (01:32:39):
I can't call, can't go kick it with it? Such
and such, it's like, man.

Speaker 3 (01:32:44):
So you right now are talking about reconnecting with a
sense of belonging again, whether it's people having a relationship
that's strong that's pulling you up.

Speaker 2 (01:32:58):
Yeah, you that's something that most people don't realize. I'm
coming from home.

Speaker 4 (01:33:03):
You suffering from an identity crisis because you have to
kill that person you are and to surviving there for real,
Like you have to become a whole different person.

Speaker 2 (01:33:14):
Wow, I hope y'all just heard that you have to
kill you.

Speaker 4 (01:33:19):
You got to kill all that stuff, all that stuff
that makes a human and human like the right to breathe, air,
water and all that.

Speaker 2 (01:33:26):
Forget all that got new rules you gotta learn now.

Speaker 3 (01:33:30):
So it's becoming way more calm located now as an ex.

Speaker 2 (01:33:37):
Factly y ex prison ex prisoner.

Speaker 4 (01:33:40):
Everything from it's the times that you get up. I
still at six o'clock like nive o'clock. I still get
up sometimes cause I can hear a bell. I'm waiting
on a bell. It was like that a I was
waiting on the bell to move. Sometimes I wouldn't even
call people cause I was like, I'm not used to
not using a jail phone. It was weird, Like I'm

(01:34:03):
hanging up with people after soul. I'm getting used to
hearing that you have such and such time left on
the phone. So when I'm not hearing that, I'm weirded
out on the phone, and I'm weird around people because
I don't. I'm thinking they thinking I'm weird because I
didn't need time.

Speaker 2 (01:34:17):
You know what I'm saying. You know the.

Speaker 4 (01:34:18):
Stigma that comes behind person a man that done ten
years everything negative, everything negative, When they can go with
my jacket and see that I ain't did none of
those stigmas that they profiling me on from being in jail.
I might be a little institutionalized, Yeah, but I spent
time in the institution. What can you expect? You know

(01:34:40):
what I'm saying that them and I can say, but
far as they trying to make you out of a monster,
or they trying to put a sexual preference on you
because they feel like, oh, like anybody doing the amount
of time gonna do that? Are you crazy? I've been
in there with people with lifers, and if you dare,
if they didn't putn't there, think about doing the other
like I've been in there with guys that learn how

(01:35:02):
to not live with their flesh.

Speaker 2 (01:35:04):
Mmmm. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:35:06):
Because in there, if you can't control, if you ain't
got a power for this, you do. Your mind is
everything on Your mind is the only thing you got
in there and your physical strength. So you better keep
your mind as strong as your body. You know, them
guys just work out and don't read and do nothing
doing they come back, you know what I mean, because

(01:35:27):
you ain't learned nothing else but prison. They make it
to where you have to learn nothing but prison. Even
in the little schools and stuff they got in there,
they make it hard for you to get in there.

Speaker 2 (01:35:37):
You can't just go sign up for school and you get.

Speaker 4 (01:35:39):
In there right away.

Speaker 3 (01:35:41):
So you're speaking to percidivism and that many people go
back to prison because that's once they get out. It's
so different and all they know is how to survive
in prison.

Speaker 4 (01:35:53):
And so society what treats you like you a nobody
you don't like, Oh, you've been in jail, like that's
how they kind of look at you, like you.

Speaker 2 (01:36:05):
Got if on your recorre card. Oh yeah, okay, don't
call us, we'll call you.

Speaker 4 (01:36:12):
See what I'm saying, And once again, it's not their fault.
But at the same time, y'all gonna do better than
what y'all doing. Y'all so quick to give a person time,
but y'all won't, y'all not doing the necessary thing to
help him.

Speaker 3 (01:36:28):
So in wrapping this up with a man here, Maids
and y'all know, thank you for subscribing. Make sure you
share this podcast with someone because these young folks need
to know.

Speaker 2 (01:36:42):
What it's really like to be incarcerated.

Speaker 3 (01:36:46):
It's not what you're thinking, and there are better ways,
better choices you can make. And also this brother Maids
is on the on the other side of ten years
being locked up, and you're hearing the needs that he
says he has the need for belonging, for fellowship, for encouragement,
for opportunity, right for society to be able to recognize

(01:37:09):
him as who he could be and not ask who
he was.

Speaker 2 (01:37:16):
And I want you to know, brother, I'm here for you.

Speaker 3 (01:37:20):
I believe in helping people, and everybody who's a part
of our ministry is taught these things because this is
what I believe. And so I just want you to
know that I'm gonna do my part to help you
as much as I can to help you get from
where you are to live in your best life in Christ,
because I believe that that's the best way.

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
Respect that what.

Speaker 3 (01:37:43):
Would you want to share with my listeners?

Speaker 2 (01:37:47):
And closing, just trying to be better people.

Speaker 4 (01:37:54):
Overall, nobody's perfect, you know what I mean. Take your
time and think things through, and don't be so quick
to judge a person because of their past. Is that
might not be who that person is now. That's just
who they were at the time, you know what I mean.
We don't know the circumstances, so before we judge, try

(01:38:17):
to welcome the person's shoes.

Speaker 3 (01:38:19):
You know what, I mean, yeah, that's called empathy and
sympathy being able to see someone else through their eyes
of Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:38:30):
As a whole other level as well.

Speaker 3 (01:38:32):
We teach these things more and more as you join
us on this road to Powerful Living.

Speaker 2 (01:38:39):
For my man made. Thank you for sharing your story
with us.

Speaker 3 (01:38:44):
I think this won't be the last time that I
have you on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:38:47):
Brother Man.

Speaker 4 (01:38:48):
I appreciate this was a very very peaceful space if
I had fun enjoying myself, but I've got to talk
to my story and I got to I feel like
I can reach somebody that been through this kind of kind.

Speaker 2 (01:39:03):
Of like what I've been through, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:39:05):
It's just want to let 'em know, like through all,
like if you got faithor thing, you can make.

Speaker 2 (01:39:11):
It through anything, just how your faith drawing whatever you believe.
But it's just no so most heart, it's a creator,
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:39:18):
What I mean, So for giving your faith to the Creator,
it's good.

Speaker 3 (01:39:22):
Henry Flowers here with May's Powerful Living Operation ministries.

Speaker 2 (01:39:27):
Y'all know me, I ain't going nowhere. I'm coming back

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