October 30, 2025 • 18 mins
Most men don’t break,they burn out fixing everything for everyone else. In this episode we walk through:
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- Rebuilding after losing family structure
- Restarting your mission and identity
- Moving from problem-solving to life-building
- Becoming the man who creates the future, instead of reacting to the past
Follow me on my socials:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshterryplays
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joshterryplays/
X: https://x.com/joshterryplays
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@UCOLdtkK1XqV6ikuHUqfetnQ
To work with Josh Terry go to https://apply.joshterryplays.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What are you working on and how can I help?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I am working on myself. I'm trying to get a
business kind of restarted again. I run a flag football league.
If I did it when my child was a little
bit smaller, long story short, I ran it, he grew up,
I got bought out by a larger corporation, and I'm
(00:24):
starting to redo it. My child is now eighteen, and
it's hard. I've been trying to get it going again
here in California and in Illinois, and I have zero
participants as of yet, and it's a little discouraging. When
he was little, it was easier to go out there
(00:45):
and you know, talk to the parents and get the
word out. Now it's a little bit different. Things have
changed from many years ago, and I'm just kind of
a little bit discouraged. That's to begin with, and then
the other one, going through divorce and not being able
to speak to my kids kind of put me in
(01:05):
a little bit of a slump. I'm trying to get
out of it. I'm doing the you know, working on myself,
reading books, listening to you you know, exercising, working, eating right, reading,
But it's it's a slow process. Having something young out
of your life like that, like your kids. It's it's hard.
(01:28):
It's hard. The whole family dynamic kind of kind of
went away, and it's been a little difficult.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Absolutely, it's super difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
The first one is really neat and tidy starting business.
We can isolate the variables and figure out what's the
bottle lock. The second one, of course, more challenge because
there's more things that go on in that. I've got
a quick question about the second one, and then we'll
(01:57):
start on the first one. So the quick question on
the second one is are you in the kid's life
currently or are you able to speak with them now?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I try to have communication via text at one point,
and for lack of a better word, I got in
trouble for it.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Okay, So this is more of a thing we need
to learn how to deal with than necessarily solve co Rright, Yeah, okay,
got it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's helpful to know.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Let's start with the first one as that's a simple
way for us to start on common ground.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So business.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So with the business side of things, is the goal
to get people in the community.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Is that what you need right now to get it started.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yes, So it's in the community, which I'm try to
go to schools again, people that I know and get
the word out. I got the website going, I got
cure codes with stickers coming in today, and so spread
that out and get the community and try to try
to be big this time around, not just within this
community that I live in, but I want to be
able to be in other states as well.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Okay, great, So for that, Eventually, you're going to need
an sop for opening up a location, basically is what
you're describing, and so we have to figure out what's
the most straightforward way to open up the first location.
So the way we would open up the first location
is we need to figure out where those people find
(03:22):
people like you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Where did they do it currently? So are like, are you.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
In an area geographically where there's a lot of communities
already in existence, a lot of events already happening, or
is it something where there's kind of nobody and it's
it's not occurring.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
In an area where there is a lot of what
I'm trying to do. It's saturated. Let's just say so,
it's the field, very few fields, a lot of sports
going on, so it's really hard to get into the fields.
That's one. Two, I am competing against you know, a players,
former NFL players that started leagues. So I'd never played
(04:05):
in the NFL, though I fell in love with the
sport and I've coached, so it's it's a little hard
to do that. But yes, there is a community nearby
and other communities that's around it.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Yes, Okay, awesome, That's not necessarily a bad thing because
the positive side of that, if there was nobody, then
what it would mean is you have to build something
from scratch in terms of getting the attention that you
need to get the people in as of because of
what you just described. What that means is there is
(04:36):
already attention somewhere and we just need to find it
and redirect it to you. So here's what I'd recommend
is get on chat GPT and say, hey, my location
targeting seems to be off. Describe what happened, and then
ask it for instructions on how to fix your targeting
(05:00):
so that your ads are more dialed in. GPT will
tell you it's fantastic that way, and then and then
start a new chat on GPT and say, okay, so
I'm starting this, explain the entire business, and then say
I need to find all of the places where I
can target X demographic, so like moms, it could be
(05:24):
moms with two kids, moms like whatever, like hone in
all the things, and then say, I want you to
tell me all of the places where I can advertise,
and then say, for example, on posters and billboards, at
these community locations, at on Facebook, on nextdoor, tell me
all of the other places. Give me a list of
(05:44):
ten to twenty other places, and then it's going to
give you a list, and then you go through and
you can even ask chapter GPT, then how do I
advertise at all those places?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And it'll often describe and then you just execute. Okay,
does that sound good?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Sounds really good. It's actually really really encouraging and I
didn't know it could do all that.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
But do you feel like you've got actionables on the business?
Do you feel like that you know what to do?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh? Absolutely, yeah. So I think that's a great idea
is kind of tell it exactly just what you said,
give me the list of sites, how do I advertise,
what websites are there, where the moms are at? How
do I advertise, and how to one source try to
target it all?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yes? Oh, and then one other thing on that on
that front is ask it and how can I execute
on this as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Okay, that's a great prompt.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, like like tell it, be like, I don't want
to waste my time a bunch.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Tell me which one of these is going to take
too long?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Tell me which one of these I can do today
right now, and just like get done. Tell me which
ones are going to take me two days to learn,
you know, like and triage yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So that you can get going on it faster.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Okay, cool, Okay, Yeah, tell me a little bit more
about the life situation. You know, this is always a
rough part of life. What you described, what are the
biggest challenges within it?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You know, being Latino, it's there's so many things that
go before it. A lot of people don't understand. I
had to go and find a therapist that I would
understand it a little bit of my culture. I had
a therapist before that I would explain things and they wouldn't.
I would have to explain to them what was going on,
and they explained a little bit of the culture of what
I meant when I said that, And so it was
(07:33):
a little rough. So I eventually ended up getting a
therapist that was you know, but to your question, it's
a lot of things. We were forcing to divorce because
of our financial situation. I was the only one working.
I was traveling one and a half hours an hour
fifty minutes one way. I wasn't eating well, I wasn't
sleeping well. I wasn't taking care of myself emotionally, I
(07:53):
wasn't doing anything. I was just focused on the family.
I loved my family. I even to this day, there's
a lot of respect from my wife. She's a fantastic mother.
She was just not my person. And it came to
it came to a point where it just, you know,
I lost me, I lost my temper, I lost things,
and so as things progressed, my kids didn't want to
(08:15):
talk to me. That hurts a lot. I think, out
of anything else, I missed my kids. I was a
coach to them. I attended schools. I used to work
sixteen hour days, you know, get off at four o'clock
in the morning, to live a little bit and then
go coach soccer or football or lacrosse. And so I
dedicated time. And I know I wasn't a bad father,
But for them not to speak to me at this point,
(08:35):
it hurts. It hurts the ego, it hurts the soul,
it hurts everything. So I started eating well, I started
sleeping better. Now, I started going to therapy on certain days.
I've been doing it for a little bit over two
and a half years now, almost three years. So I'm
working out, so reading more, so I am trying to
do the right things. But there's days where it's a pain.
(09:00):
I can't really healizer yet.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
It's one of the deepest pains. It's one of the
hardest things that men go through. There's this experience that
you're describing. It's super hard, and it's very common that
men run into the issue of because men are so
oriented to fix problems, they often don't spot the things
(09:31):
that go wrong in the family until their problems, which
means it's too late. And so a lot of men
run into the experience that you just described of like
there's already so many things that have happened that have
gone wrong, and now, I mean, your response is fantastic
that you're you know, you're dieting, you're taking care of yourself,
(09:52):
you're doing the work, you're going to therapy, like all
the things, you're doing all the things, but so often
for men it comes like after a tipping point. And
it's really because of the wiring of men is men
are wired to work on things that are a disaster
(10:13):
right because they're wired to keep everybody alive. They're wired
to fix things that are going wrong. But the problem
with the family dynamic is to point to the family
dynamic is you're trying to make it go right, which
is different from solving a problem of the family. It's
a huge challenge for men because they really have to
in a lot of ways flip their mental script of
(10:35):
how they operate in the world for them to operate
in a way that works inside of the family. As
a result, they have the tragedy of often finding out
way too late. And so the core thing that I
would say in terms of like moving forward in life
is I would do my best to grab that lesson
(10:55):
to be basically anticipatory as opposed to reactive, and to
go okay, I need to set the intention of building
a good life for myself now as opposed to trying
to respond to the things that are wrong in my life.
Even though there were lots of things that are wrong
in life, and you have to address them to have
(11:18):
your main mental frame be I'm going to try to
make a good life as opposed to I'm going to
try to prevent the bad things. That's often one of
the biggest shifts for men at your stage to make
sure they do.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Does that make.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Sense specifically, I mean, obviously I've talked to my therapists
about that life that preventing it, you know, in a
sense being a guy from Latin America who has different
ways of seeing things and technically we're in America, but
having to deal with things differently. We never have to
deal with our emotions and that's what I was taught.
(11:55):
Now I have to unlearn all that. And while it
was with my family, that was what I was doing.
So you're you're right, and now it's a little bit
different to where I have to I have to think
a little bit more about, Yeah, things are going to happen,
but we'll deal with that then seat of try to
prevent it and spend too much time doing that stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
More present, So here's the way that you can apply
this in a way that'll directly make your life better
right now, which is you can start to think ahead.
In the business that you're setting up, start applying think
ahead solutions as opposed to what's wrong solutions. And so
(12:40):
the way it would look right now is the problem
that you have in the business right now is you
don't have people right. But the next thing that you
would want is the right to people. If you got
all the people that you needed all of a sudden, yeah,
(13:02):
then the next problem would be, oh, not all of
these are the right people?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right people?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Right? You know, like these are from two sides of
a neighborhood, nobody likes each other. I mean that might
work if we're doing competitive sports. Yeah, you see what
I'm getting at, Yeah, yep. And so what I would
do is I'd start trying to anticipate a little bit
to just just ask every single time you are in
(13:32):
your business, start asking yourself the question, how could I
go towards the good thing here as opposed to fix
the thing that's wrong. And this can play out even
in exactly what you're doing right now. So, for example,
in ads targeting, right now, you're trying to get people.
(13:52):
But I can guarantee you if you start asking the question,
what are the right people?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
What are the people that.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I want to anticipate to move towards the thing that
you want as opposed to try to fix the problem
that you have. I can guarantee you your ads targeting
and actually will get more dialed in and they'll become
more effective, okay, because it'll start to define more clearly
who you're looking for. And believe it or not, like
that's a life model that can play out in so
(14:22):
many places in life.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
To where you go.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I mean, I don't know if you're thinking about, you know,
starting up another relationship or where you're at with those things,
but you can start to go, Okay, well, let me
like not think about this as I'm lonely. So one
way to think about this is I'm lonely and I
need to fix that problem of loneliness. I want it
to I want to stop being lonely. But another way
(14:47):
to look at it is I want good people in
my life and I want to feel connected. And it's
the same thing. But one is the absence of the
negative and and the other is the presence of the positive.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Absolutely? It does. It does.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
And this is the fundamental thing that moves you to
the more elite level as a man like this is
something that like young men that are idealistic do this
naturally instinctively. They just want all the good things right.
But men that then grow into maturity they realize that
(15:29):
problems have to be addressed, and so they learn how
to address problems, and so they're kind of back to
this like fixing the negative thing. But men that then
grow through that stage of life they become basically what
we call conscious optimists, where they are conscious of the
negative things that must be cared for, like shit's got
(15:51):
to be handled, right, but they understand that they need
to aim towards the good things, and if they do this,
it's what moves them basically to the next level as men.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Typically speaking, it's basically.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Switching from running away from pain to moving towards pleasure.
Basically like motivationally speaking, it switches from like running away
from things that you don't want to moving towards things
that you want right, And a lot of the basic
outcomes and frameworks like things that you're shooting for, are
the same, but the mental framework is different and it
(16:27):
makes you think through things differently. This is something that
makes people want to be around you because when you
do this, you naturally start to create better and better environments.
It makes you perform better because you're aiming towards a
more precise I want this specific thing, and it makes
(16:48):
the people around you happier because you're you're trying, you're
living in the good part of life as opposed to
you know, stewing in the negative.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
It does make sense.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Does that feel like something that could make a difference?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It is, And you're right, there's some aspects of what
you said that I'm actually trying to implement it. But
again it's it's not easy. No, it's not really not easy.
It's I try to see the best at everything else
and work towards Okay, the example that you gave me,
it's running away from the negative. Uh, And we don't
realize that we're just running away without an aim, and
(17:23):
so we should be running towards what makes us happy,
you know. So you're right.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
The way out of this is to focus on the
specific good thing that you would like to have, and
that is like one of the most life changing things
that a person at your level can achieve, because like
you've already achieved levels of competence and when you take
a competent person and you get them focused on this,
things get really good.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Never saw it that way, Oh absolutely, I never saw
it that way.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Thank you for it's really cool, right.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
They got to get that. And it's funny that you
said that because it's in sports. We it's something like
exactly what you're saying. We have to make sure that
they're seeing what they outcome is in a positive way
versus just stop doing it and yes, not getting anything
out of that.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes, yes it's very visible in sports, but it's a
truth that runs through your entire life. Okay, awesome, I'm
excited for you man. If you'd like to build your
life and business with me, go to the link below
or go to apply dot Josh cherry plays dot com
What are you working on and how can I help?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I am working on myself. I'm trying to get a
business kind of restarted again. I run a flag football league.
If I did it when my child was a little
bit smaller, long story short, I ran it, he grew up,
I got bought out by a larger corporation, and I'm
(00:24):
starting to redo it. My child is now eighteen, and
it's hard. I've been trying to get it going again
here in California and in Illinois, and I have zero
participants as of yet, and it's a little discouraging. When
he was little, it was easier to go out there
(00:45):
and you know, talk to the parents and get the
word out. Now it's a little bit different. Things have
changed from many years ago, and I'm just kind of
a little bit discouraged. That's to begin with, and then
the other one, going through divorce and not being able
to speak to my kids kind of put me in
(01:05):
a little bit of a slump. I'm trying to get
out of it. I'm doing the you know, working on myself,
reading books, listening to you you know, exercising, working, eating right, reading,
But it's it's a slow process. Having something young out
of your life like that, like your kids. It's it's hard.
(01:28):
It's hard. The whole family dynamic kind of kind of
went away, and it's been a little difficult.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Absolutely, it's super difficult.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
The first one is really neat and tidy starting business.
We can isolate the variables and figure out what's the
bottle lock. The second one, of course, more challenge because
there's more things that go on in that. I've got
a quick question about the second one, and then we'll
(01:57):
start on the first one. So the quick question on
the second one is are you in the kid's life
currently or are you able to speak with them now?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I try to have communication via text at one point,
and for lack of a better word, I got in
trouble for it.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Okay, So this is more of a thing we need
to learn how to deal with than necessarily solve co Rright, Yeah, okay,
got it.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's helpful to know.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Let's start with the first one as that's a simple
way for us to start on common ground.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So business.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So with the business side of things, is the goal
to get people in the community.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Is that what you need right now to get it started.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yes, So it's in the community, which I'm try to
go to schools again, people that I know and get
the word out. I got the website going, I got
cure codes with stickers coming in today, and so spread
that out and get the community and try to try
to be big this time around, not just within this
community that I live in, but I want to be
able to be in other states as well.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Okay, great, So for that, Eventually, you're going to need
an sop for opening up a location, basically is what
you're describing, and so we have to figure out what's
the most straightforward way to open up the first location.
So the way we would open up the first location
is we need to figure out where those people find
(03:22):
people like you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Where did they do it currently? So are like, are you.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
In an area geographically where there's a lot of communities
already in existence, a lot of events already happening, or
is it something where there's kind of nobody and it's
it's not occurring.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
In an area where there is a lot of what
I'm trying to do. It's saturated. Let's just say so,
it's the field, very few fields, a lot of sports
going on, so it's really hard to get into the fields.
That's one. Two, I am competing against you know, a players,
former NFL players that started leagues. So I'd never played
(04:05):
in the NFL, though I fell in love with the
sport and I've coached, so it's it's a little hard
to do that. But yes, there is a community nearby
and other communities that's around it.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Yes, Okay, awesome, That's not necessarily a bad thing because
the positive side of that, if there was nobody, then
what it would mean is you have to build something
from scratch in terms of getting the attention that you
need to get the people in as of because of
what you just described. What that means is there is
(04:36):
already attention somewhere and we just need to find it
and redirect it to you. So here's what I'd recommend
is get on chat GPT and say, hey, my location
targeting seems to be off. Describe what happened, and then
ask it for instructions on how to fix your targeting
(05:00):
so that your ads are more dialed in. GPT will
tell you it's fantastic that way, and then and then
start a new chat on GPT and say, okay, so
I'm starting this, explain the entire business, and then say
I need to find all of the places where I
can target X demographic, so like moms, it could be
(05:24):
moms with two kids, moms like whatever, like hone in
all the things, and then say, I want you to
tell me all of the places where I can advertise,
and then say, for example, on posters and billboards, at
these community locations, at on Facebook, on nextdoor, tell me
all of the other places. Give me a list of
(05:44):
ten to twenty other places, and then it's going to
give you a list, and then you go through and
you can even ask chapter GPT, then how do I
advertise at all those places?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
And it'll often describe and then you just execute. Okay,
does that sound good?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Sounds really good. It's actually really really encouraging and I
didn't know it could do all that.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
But do you feel like you've got actionables on the business?
Do you feel like that you know what to do?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Oh? Absolutely, yeah. So I think that's a great idea
is kind of tell it exactly just what you said,
give me the list of sites, how do I advertise,
what websites are there, where the moms are at? How
do I advertise, and how to one source try to
target it all?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Yes? Oh, and then one other thing on that on
that front is ask it and how can I execute
on this as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Okay, that's a great prompt.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Yeah, like like tell it, be like, I don't want
to waste my time a bunch.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Tell me which one of these is going to take
too long?
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Tell me which one of these I can do today
right now, and just like get done. Tell me which
ones are going to take me two days to learn,
you know, like and triage yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So that you can get going on it faster.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Okay, cool, Okay, Yeah, tell me a little bit more
about the life situation. You know, this is always a
rough part of life. What you described, what are the
biggest challenges within it?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You know, being Latino, it's there's so many things that
go before it. A lot of people don't understand. I
had to go and find a therapist that I would
understand it a little bit of my culture. I had
a therapist before that I would explain things and they wouldn't.
I would have to explain to them what was going on,
and they explained a little bit of the culture of what
I meant when I said that, And so it was
(07:33):
a little rough. So I eventually ended up getting a
therapist that was you know, but to your question, it's
a lot of things. We were forcing to divorce because
of our financial situation. I was the only one working.
I was traveling one and a half hours an hour
fifty minutes one way. I wasn't eating well, I wasn't
sleeping well. I wasn't taking care of myself emotionally, I
(07:53):
wasn't doing anything. I was just focused on the family.
I loved my family. I even to this day, there's
a lot of respect from my wife. She's a fantastic mother.
She was just not my person. And it came to
it came to a point where it just, you know,
I lost me, I lost my temper, I lost things,
and so as things progressed, my kids didn't want to
(08:15):
talk to me. That hurts a lot. I think, out
of anything else, I missed my kids. I was a
coach to them. I attended schools. I used to work
sixteen hour days, you know, get off at four o'clock
in the morning, to live a little bit and then
go coach soccer or football or lacrosse. And so I
dedicated time. And I know I wasn't a bad father,
But for them not to speak to me at this point,
(08:35):
it hurts. It hurts the ego, it hurts the soul,
it hurts everything. So I started eating well, I started
sleeping better. Now, I started going to therapy on certain days.
I've been doing it for a little bit over two
and a half years now, almost three years. So I'm
working out, so reading more, so I am trying to
do the right things. But there's days where it's a pain.
(09:00):
I can't really healizer yet.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
It's one of the deepest pains. It's one of the
hardest things that men go through. There's this experience that
you're describing. It's super hard, and it's very common that
men run into the issue of because men are so
oriented to fix problems, they often don't spot the things
(09:31):
that go wrong in the family until their problems, which
means it's too late. And so a lot of men
run into the experience that you just described of like
there's already so many things that have happened that have
gone wrong, and now, I mean, your response is fantastic
that you're you know, you're dieting, you're taking care of yourself,
(09:52):
you're doing the work, you're going to therapy, like all
the things, you're doing all the things, but so often
for men it comes like after a tipping point. And
it's really because of the wiring of men is men
are wired to work on things that are a disaster
(10:13):
right because they're wired to keep everybody alive. They're wired
to fix things that are going wrong. But the problem
with the family dynamic is to point to the family
dynamic is you're trying to make it go right, which
is different from solving a problem of the family. It's
a huge challenge for men because they really have to
in a lot of ways flip their mental script of
(10:35):
how they operate in the world for them to operate
in a way that works inside of the family. As
a result, they have the tragedy of often finding out
way too late. And so the core thing that I
would say in terms of like moving forward in life
is I would do my best to grab that lesson
(10:55):
to be basically anticipatory as opposed to reactive, and to
go okay, I need to set the intention of building
a good life for myself now as opposed to trying
to respond to the things that are wrong in my life.
Even though there were lots of things that are wrong
in life, and you have to address them to have
(11:18):
your main mental frame be I'm going to try to
make a good life as opposed to I'm going to
try to prevent the bad things. That's often one of
the biggest shifts for men at your stage to make
sure they do.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Does that make.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Sense specifically, I mean, obviously I've talked to my therapists
about that life that preventing it, you know, in a
sense being a guy from Latin America who has different
ways of seeing things and technically we're in America, but
having to deal with things differently. We never have to
deal with our emotions and that's what I was taught.
(11:55):
Now I have to unlearn all that. And while it
was with my family, that was what I was doing.
So you're you're right, and now it's a little bit
different to where I have to I have to think
a little bit more about, Yeah, things are going to happen,
but we'll deal with that then seat of try to
prevent it and spend too much time doing that stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
More present, So here's the way that you can apply
this in a way that'll directly make your life better
right now, which is you can start to think ahead.
In the business that you're setting up, start applying think
ahead solutions as opposed to what's wrong solutions. And so
(12:40):
the way it would look right now is the problem
that you have in the business right now is you
don't have people right. But the next thing that you
would want is the right to people. If you got
all the people that you needed all of a sudden, yeah,
(13:02):
then the next problem would be, oh, not all of
these are the right people?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right people?
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Right? You know, like these are from two sides of
a neighborhood, nobody likes each other. I mean that might
work if we're doing competitive sports. Yeah, you see what
I'm getting at, Yeah, yep. And so what I would
do is I'd start trying to anticipate a little bit
to just just ask every single time you are in
(13:32):
your business, start asking yourself the question, how could I
go towards the good thing here as opposed to fix
the thing that's wrong. And this can play out even
in exactly what you're doing right now. So, for example,
in ads targeting, right now, you're trying to get people.
(13:52):
But I can guarantee you if you start asking the question,
what are the right people?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
What are the people that.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I want to anticipate to move towards the thing that
you want as opposed to try to fix the problem
that you have. I can guarantee you your ads targeting
and actually will get more dialed in and they'll become
more effective, okay, because it'll start to define more clearly
who you're looking for. And believe it or not, like
that's a life model that can play out in so
(14:22):
many places in life.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
To where you go.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
I mean, I don't know if you're thinking about, you know,
starting up another relationship or where you're at with those things,
but you can start to go, Okay, well, let me
like not think about this as I'm lonely. So one
way to think about this is I'm lonely and I
need to fix that problem of loneliness. I want it
to I want to stop being lonely. But another way
(14:47):
to look at it is I want good people in
my life and I want to feel connected. And it's
the same thing. But one is the absence of the
negative and and the other is the presence of the positive.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Absolutely? It does. It does.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
And this is the fundamental thing that moves you to
the more elite level as a man like this is
something that like young men that are idealistic do this
naturally instinctively. They just want all the good things right.
But men that then grow into maturity they realize that
(15:29):
problems have to be addressed, and so they learn how
to address problems, and so they're kind of back to
this like fixing the negative thing. But men that then
grow through that stage of life they become basically what
we call conscious optimists, where they are conscious of the
negative things that must be cared for, like shit's got
(15:51):
to be handled, right, but they understand that they need
to aim towards the good things, and if they do this,
it's what moves them basically to the next level as men.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Typically speaking, it's basically.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Switching from running away from pain to moving towards pleasure.
Basically like motivationally speaking, it switches from like running away
from things that you don't want to moving towards things
that you want right, And a lot of the basic
outcomes and frameworks like things that you're shooting for, are
the same, but the mental framework is different and it
(16:27):
makes you think through things differently. This is something that
makes people want to be around you because when you
do this, you naturally start to create better and better environments.
It makes you perform better because you're aiming towards a
more precise I want this specific thing, and it makes
(16:48):
the people around you happier because you're you're trying, you're
living in the good part of life as opposed to
you know, stewing in the negative.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
It does make sense.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Does that feel like something that could make a difference?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It is, And you're right, there's some aspects of what
you said that I'm actually trying to implement it. But
again it's it's not easy. No, it's not really not easy.
It's I try to see the best at everything else
and work towards Okay, the example that you gave me,
it's running away from the negative. Uh, And we don't
realize that we're just running away without an aim, and
(17:23):
so we should be running towards what makes us happy,
you know. So you're right.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
The way out of this is to focus on the
specific good thing that you would like to have, and
that is like one of the most life changing things
that a person at your level can achieve, because like
you've already achieved levels of competence and when you take
a competent person and you get them focused on this,
things get really good.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Never saw it that way, Oh absolutely, I never saw
it that way.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Thank you for it's really cool, right.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
They got to get that. And it's funny that you
said that because it's in sports. We it's something like
exactly what you're saying. We have to make sure that
they're seeing what they outcome is in a positive way
versus just stop doing it and yes, not getting anything
out of that.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yes, yes it's very visible in sports, but it's a
truth that runs through your entire life. Okay, awesome, I'm
excited for you man. If you'd like to build your
life and business with me, go to the link below
or go to apply dot Josh cherry plays dot com
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