Your Worry Is Proof You’re Doing Enough

Most people who worry about messing up are never the ones who need to.

In this episode, we break down why the most self-aware people overcorrect, overthink, and unintentionally sabotage themselves and how to fix it by asking one simple question.

This is for you if you’re always worried about:

• working hard enough
• being patient enough
• overstepping
• saying the wrong thing

Your worry isn’t the problem.
It’s the signal.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The person who worries about the thing is the person
who doesn't need to worry about the thing. The dude
who worries about consent in relationships is the dude who
doesn't really need to worry about it because he's so
conscious of the other person that he's interacting with that
consent is never even going to be remotely a concern.

(00:23):
If you are concerned about being patient, you're like, man like,
I don't know if I fully heard that person out,
then you don't need to worry about patience. Why Because
the people that we complain about on a day to
day basis who aren't patient and listening, it doesn't cross

(00:47):
their minds that it's a problem. The people that we
talk about who are broaching consent are the ones that
doesn't even cross their minds that they should check. If
you're worried about speaking out too loudly, you know, anger issues,

(01:13):
then you're probably not the guy who needs to worry
about it, because the guy who needs to worry about
it is the one who it doesn't cross his mind.
And so closer to this is if you're worried about
whether or not you're working hard enough, you probably don't

(01:34):
need to worry about it. You're probably one of those
people who works all the time and the worry is
what gets you moving compulsively. Right, you're worried and so,
oh my god, I gotta work harder. Oh, and I'm
probably not working harder. Oh no, Right. And so the

(01:55):
person who's like in relationships worried about you know, oh,
oh is this person okay with me doing this thing? Oh?
Is this person okay with me doing this thing? They
then obsess and they compulsively obsess about it, and they
get more and more cautious in the relationship, and it
drives the other person away. Because every problem out there

(02:21):
has an opposite problem. And so the loud problems that
people talk about are you're not working hard enough, Yeah,
the consent thing, right, Like guys are are jerks that
just want to take right, that's a common loud narrative.

(02:42):
They have the exact opposite narratives of you're working too
hard and you're too timid. Right, These are equally problematic problems.
Every time you notice yourself worrying about whether you're working
hard enough, ask yourself the question, am I making this

(03:05):
easy enough? Or you can ping off of whatever thing
that you're trying to do in that moment, you can say,
am I delegating well enough? Am I taking enough breaks?
Like whatever it is? And if you're in relationships and
you have problems with timidity because you're constantly worried about overstepping,
every time you worry about overstepping, ask yourself, am I

(03:30):
being open enough with what I want? Am I sharing
what I really want in this moment? And the answer
is almost always no, And so then you have a
ping that tells you to try again.