August 1, 2025 • 27 mins
A horror and fantasy anthology series that delves into the eerie and the unknown, offering stories that unsettle and provoke thought. Its minimalist production enhances the chilling narratives.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Please Quietly. The Mutual Broadcasting System presents Quiet Fleas, which
(00:37):
is written and directed by Willis Cooper and which features
Ernest Chappell. Quiet Please Fortunight is called I Always marry Julia.
I did not, I assure you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I knocked several times.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I can read signs. It says knock before entering, and
I knocked, and then I entered. Sir, my name is
Rambo Painbridge. I give you my card.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Modestly, I may say that my name is not unknown
in the theater.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
The Shakespearean theater, that is, I am no strolling player
of dashing hero and white flannels to day, and elderly
a mounte bank in a straw hat to morrow. I
have devoted my talents to the creations of the immortal Bard,
the sweet singer of strut for a bonny Bards, the
immortal Shakespeare himself. I think, if you are not unfamilied
(01:36):
with his great works, perhaps you have even seen me
threading the boards in Macbeth tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creps in this petty paste from day to day. Or
possibly is the noble Marc Anthony Jurnius Caesar evil let
men do live after them? The good is often said
with therefore I have great succession about the methody. However,
(02:00):
my greatest triumphs have been in the romantic role of Rongio,
a lady by yond the blessed Moon. I swear the
tips with silver, all the fruity taps a fruit tree top,
but sp what light thru yond window breaks? It is
be and Julius is the sun.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I always did better with that one.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But I beg your pardon. I was trying to say,
what can I do for you? Why, my dear sir,
I was given under standard casting was going on here?
Why else would I pay a visit to that sir?
Rather musty cubicle eh, and you talk a great deal,
that's your resir. Speaking is my profession. Speaking is my life,
(02:46):
my being, my ear, my mety. You speak French. I
haven't told I speaking like an idiot who's soul Lanier,
don long beyond. Let speak to mysel myself briefly. I
am prepared to deliver on short notice any one of
a large number of shakespearey in pots O Hello, Ronio,
(03:07):
the Rono Bottom, the Weaver, King, Henry the fourth left, sixth,
the Tokyo oh and.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Henry the eighth.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I am reasonably familiar with the characters of Shakespeare. Sir, good, good, good.
You see you have saved Romeo innumerable times, Sir, two
packed houses. I recall one time in I believe it
is the mornin Illinois?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Is morlen in Illinois when.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
They placed kitchen chairs in the aisles in addition to
the hundreds of UK you find seats in the house.
When did you last play radio? The last? It has
been sometimes, sence, But I am a very quick study, Sir.
That's I assure you. Ah, I could be up in
several days saying three days and what have you been
doing recently? U? I have just concluded a very successful
(03:55):
run as uh Andrello he Shakespearean Milan, no doubt. I
am sorry to say it was not, although it was
very interesting in a shall I say, sordid way? What
night were you want? This, sir? Was an afternoon presentation
(04:17):
pornograph needles and your part. I played the part of
Clapper Claude Dudey very heavy, naturally, A part of it
like a sort of poor Man's Macbeth, perhaps a touch
of catskin. And the party is finished now er A
(04:38):
regard for the truth compelled me to admit I was
replaced by a young man who had a different conception
of the character of Clappercaud dudey, and he didn't appreciate
your technique, idea, that direct card. But I also read
a commercial message my indeed, well s tell me look
(04:59):
over the contract we have seen at Bambridge. I seem
vaguely to recall your name. Yes, I was afraid of that.
I don't remember just how.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I am the man who married Julien.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Ah, yes, less it? Oh yes, sir, you are a
man of the world. You deem said that I am. I.
I always wanted to grow up here myself. I think
I'd be very distinguished for the mid no doubt, but
always playing Moronio. You know, did can't be done Beside.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
My beard always.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Comes out straight, this heart comes out red. Oh well,
you're the man who married Juliet, the man who always
married Juliet. Would you care to tell me about it?
I prefaced my remarks by suggesting that you are a
man of the world as I myself am. I was
(06:00):
young and er abersion when I first played Romeo to her. Juliet,
the city let it be nameless, say to explain that
it was in central Illinois, a section of our great
country at that time somewhat lost to culture. However, a
group of young thinkers after the light the otherwise, ventured.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
To put on Romeo and Juliet, and.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I was summoned from Chicago. While I've been playing playing
Shakespeare at that junction in my career, I was singing
illustrated songs in the small house on South State Street.
I shall never forget my first meeting with a young
woman who played the part of George and Elizabeth Petna.
Why how did you know that, sir, mon ween? Oh
(06:45):
the newspaper, ah publicity, publicity. Well, Anne Elizabeth was young,
and Elizabeth was beautiful. Anne Elizabeth was unsophisticated. I thought
I was introduced to her at our first rehearsal meeting.
And I tell you, Sir, I was bold of us.
(07:07):
I can think of nothing to say to her, but
that lovely speech I first caughted to you from act
too seemed to lady my under blessed moon. I swear
that trips with silver, all these footie and she picked me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Up at once, Oh, swear not side the moon inconstant moon.
That months we changed you, sir, good old yes.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
That I love Troos likewise variable. And we went right
through the scene, the entire scene letter perfect down.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
To good night, good night, finding is such sweet sorrow
that I shall see good night hetty mole.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Sleep, swell upon thine eyes, peace and my bress and
so on. And I tell you, sir, the place of
ruts were the applause of our fellow players. And so
we were married, and we played him in our costumes
on the stage in the setting Fordact too, who seemed
to the romance of Romeo and Juliet was at.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Last consummated in our present.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I like to think that the master himself, Shakespeare, would
have liked that. If er Shakespeare I had married him, Uh,
there wouldn't have been any story well black, Uh jove,
you know, I never thought of that. Perhaps he wouldn't
have liked him death, I expect well on marriage flourished
for the time, and then there came the rift within
(08:35):
the lute er Jennison idols of the King. Indeed, I
thought that was Shakespeare too innocent. I'm speaking more of that. Well.
I remember we were playing in Dodge Center, Kansas, or
Dodge to the Iowa. Some such place, Sir Saint Dodge
or Port Dodge minsote. I think I ever had a
young woman, the daughter of a plastering contractor, in one
(08:57):
of our previous stands, and we'd found a great neil
in common. She was interested in watercolor painting. Her name.
I'm afraid I don't remember her from me here. By
a strange coincidence, she turned up in Lake Dodge, Nebraska,
wherever it was. As a man of the world, I
could do no less than invite her to suffer after performance,
(09:21):
you understand, of course. Of course, then we were leaving
the restaurant much much later when we ran directly and
do ann Elizabeth, there was little of the gentle judith
of boxer.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well, I was speechless, and Elizabeth, what so this is
the friendly game of crime you're going to indulge in
after the show? Well, I think I'll just shower you
around a little bit. Here's ahead for you too. You
stay away from my husband. You here.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It was intensely embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It was even more embarrassing when two weeks later and
Elizabeth found me kissing the plasterer's daughter in Union station
in Minneapolis. There are those Minneapolis policemen are well Russ
and tumble? And what did you do about? The crowning
blow was when Ann Elizabeth purchased the traditional weapon of
the outraged wife, a rolling pin. Playing the Anderson, I
(10:27):
asked her if she intended to make an apple pie
or two in our humble lodgings as we fared across
the country. What did you say to that, oh darling Romeo,
Now I'm going to use to beat your brain down
afire or catch.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
You with that woman again, So you'd better wear your crossover.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Did than you go out with.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Her again if you don't want to wear this rolling pin?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
For humph? She had a remarkably hungent manner of speech.
I was both sorrowed and relieved when the balcony collapsed
in Act too, scene too and she broke her neck?
How did that happen? For some unaccountable reason, the stage
(11:09):
but late seemed to have been removed. It was very depressing.
And then you married another Juliet. It seems to me
I've been marrying Juliet all my adult life. Yes, I
(11:29):
married a Nuther Faith mcdubby. I was playing and flaming
him New Hampshire, Massachusetts somewhere when I met her. Eith
was not young, Eith was not beautiful, Eith was an
exactlyble actress. Why did you marry her? It seemed a
good idea at the time. As a matter of fact,
it was leap here.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And she asked me, Randol, if you'll marry me as
John Shakespeare and cut me up our own, you'd be
the manager and do whatever place you want to.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I thought, what would we use for my But she
answered that before I.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Asked my bread at Ruth and Stafford Springs at the
eight nine thousand dollars ramble.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Well, I assure you that put a different face on
the matter. So we were married. We were married the
day after we opened in Romeo and Juliet in South Boston.
The most unfavorable notices, I must say mine, were adequis
of course saith. I wish you could have heard her
read that scene.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Oh swear not by the moons, the incompetant moon that
monthly changed in her encircled circle, or this stuff I
love proved likewise.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Variable to borrow an expression from the street, oh boy,
I pleaded whether to resign the feminine lead pardon to
allow me to find another actress. I told her she
could be the manager. She could do anything she wanted to.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Pray ramble, I will do anything I want to. It's
my money.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
There is very little one can do to argue with
that sort of thing, said, yes, yes, who think so?
The woman had no shame, sir, Nicely, I went on
and suffered the torments of the She had no sense
of timing. She forgot lines. We had the high prompters
behind every tree, under every bench, outside the window, and
(13:14):
fire a launces cell and I daily grew more and
more haggard. That wife. I can't hear it yet.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
What did it be your poison which the prior suddenly
had administered to have me dead?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
For sean free? That's right in Julia's chamber. Well, if
I liked for the nurse, I like the day she's dead.
She's dead, she's dead. Yes you were. You have cut
(14:02):
quite a father among the Juliet Sir, Shakespeare Kimber too,
he did well. I don't know why I'm telling you
all this really, probably because I asked you, well er,
there were really only three of them?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Is that so I thought of them?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Are?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It just seems like lass? Oh? If I never played
Romeo and Juliott again, I'll be happy. How about Coriolanus?
I don't exactly understand the Coriolanus, But then I don't
really understand much of Shakespeare either. You don't, may It's
just words, a lot of it, sir to me, Hm,
(14:47):
well love. What about JULIETT number three? Oh, yes, sir,
that Juliet. Well, her name was really Juliet, and I'm
afraid she's the only woman I ever loved in all
my life. Tell me about her? Well, I suppose she
was as close to the junior Shakespeare wrote about as
(15:10):
any woman could be. Do you think so? Yes, yes
I do. There wasn't nothing wrong with our marriage. We
loved each other. There wasn't room for another woman in
my life? Then did you? Did you dispose of her too?
(15:30):
I never fully realized my own inadequacies until I married Juliet.
Why do I marry Juliet? Why is it that makes
me do it? There is such a thing as destiny.
Destiny Shakespeare was always talking about destiny and pay to
those things things I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
But they work out, do they not?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Do they? Often? I have a picture of Juliott.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Yeah, three words, say Romeo and good night. Indeed, if
that thy bent of love be honorable, thy purpose marriage.
Send me word tomorrow by one that I'll procure to
come to thee, where and what time thou wilt perform
(16:23):
this rite, and all my fortunes at thy feet.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Are laid, And follow THEE the Lord throughout the world.
It is my soul that calls upon my name. Romeo.
How silver sweet thou lover's tongues by night like softest
music to attend the years. Romeo. Yes, that's a very
(17:02):
beautiful picture. And she's dead. I wish I never had
to play Romego and Julie again. I could play you're
doing Shakespeare, of course, yes, nothing but chickleea. Well, what
kind of run do you expect? How can anyone tell
(17:24):
with che that's so? I remember once in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
In Sheboyga, Michigan, I can ever tell him about We
played five stolid.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Weeks, and when we came.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Back the next year, we have to cut the last
act of a Merchant of Venice because a burlesque troop
from Chicago was coming into town. How about King Lear,
I've thought Kinglire, child of Roland, till the dark Tower
came his word was still I powen um, I smell
(17:56):
the blood of a British man or the hamlet to
be or not to be, that is the question. But
I suppose you'll be wanting.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
To do it wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Your and Julia. I uh, you need a room? Well then, hey,
Johnny said, you didn't tell me all about your own ladies, Julian. Frankly,
I would be very happy to be back in the theater.
(18:30):
I must confess that I murdered the Juliet One myself.
You didn't. Well, for goodness sake, I mean, by Joe,
what kind of people are we? Did you really? Yes?
Did you marry her?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Though?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Oh? Well, then I married all of mine, three of
them and the last. No, you tell me about the
Julia you killed? Oh no, don't want me. You well,
I told you I loved her very much. Shee she
(19:06):
was good for my ego. I remember those nights after
the show at hotels everywhere. It was always the same ramble,
let me thank you, my love, and would you that's
me a cold bottle of beer too?
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid there isn't any
beer lift. I'll run out of the corner and get well.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Thank you jarnis.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
If you're going to do that, would you mind picking
up a cigar or two for me? Uh? How to
tell it?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
See?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Of course, Eddy, and I would love the sandwich that
if Pestrus is still open?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Do you want an magazine to no just.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Even me peppers? Or would you see your racing form
bring it along too? Will you? Of course I'll be right,
I hope you will, Darling. That's pink shirt.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I wanted to wear it tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'll be back in kind to iron it for you. Here,
let me help you with your slippers first.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Oh all right, I yes, I'm capable of taking care
of myself. You run them off? Oh wait, you didn't
kiss me? She sounds wonderful. She was always buying me things,
(20:31):
such neckties. I remember one. Oh my dear sir, I
am such a cook. How many many times I fell
asleep to the sound as her washing the few dishes
we had after a succulent midnight meal of beef throgn
off or chicken marango, watch your crew to garn me cooked,
(20:54):
my dear sir over a gas flame in a room
as often as n and she never asked for us,
sent for herself, always had a few extra dollars when
I've had a bad station of the track and such
an actor, you know, it's amazing. I never offer play
(21:15):
anything else but you. I wish you could see I'd
like that very much, Yes you would. And what did
you say happened to her? Well? He died, did you?
It was very odd?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Singular?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I mean what happened. It was a Saturday night, I remember,
because we had no performance that night. We played only
a Saturday matinee than a matinee on Sunday. I'd been
playing card with some of the prominent citizens of the
city we were playing in, and I came home about
ten o'clock. I expected to find Julia to sleep.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
He wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
He was standing in the center of our room with
a strange man. Her arms were around each other and
they were kissing.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
It was very bad, very very bad.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You killed her? Oh, so I am afraid I was
rather wild. So I yes, so red, as the saying goes,
the man who was somewhat smarter than I, I heard downstairs.
Julius tried to explain, but she think it. I was sorry.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
She hit her head on the corner of.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
The table for it. That's what killed her. Oh no no.
I stormed out of the place and went out to
a restaurant for dinner. And then after the phone Nail,
I felt a little better, and I went back determined
to forget her. I was a little late. He had
hanged herself. That's too bad, Yes it was. How was?
(22:54):
I don't know that the man she was kissing with
her brother, who had just dropped in to see us both. Oh,
sometimes I can hear their voices. Union and Elizabeth by
the moon constantly.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Have a monthly change his inference circle or Julia murter
py love prove likewise there?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well, uh, don't alarm then, am I? Uh? I think so?
But I want you to read against Julia first? Out here?
Why you got it all dressed?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Haven't you? X two?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Seem to oh over there by the balca if you
please take it from the lady beyond the bladed room.
Oh well, Julius, speak the speech, I pray you and
I pronounced it by search. That's it's fifty. Go on, well,
as lady, why yonder blessed moon? I swear the tips
(24:12):
with silver?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
All these fruitry tough O?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What is this you were talked about? Destiny Ember, here's
your destiny and myles, what this is the destiny we
spoke up? Then this is your fate, your punishment. There
are the three humors. There is the one I slewp
(24:47):
I don't remember. Julia had to die to make plain.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
So.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I found her. Who the devil are you?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I bought your new friends. My name is Shakespeare, William Shakespeare.
At your six mm hmmm, fire please for tonight was
(25:37):
called I Always married Juliet. The man who spoke to
you was Ernest Chapel, and James Monks played Shakespeare. The
three Juliets were Margaret Draper, Abby Lewis and Ann Seymour.
Music for Quiet Pleas is played by Albret Berman. Now
I can worry about next week. Fire Please. Here's my
(25:57):
good friend Belle Cooper. First, I must tell you that
the characters on Quiet Please I are not intended to
represent any person living or dead, with the possible exception
of mister Shakespeare, and then are certain people who doubt
he lived anyway. The other characters are completely with the
children of my own imagination. If you happen to have
(26:19):
the same name as one of them, isn't intended to
be you. Flat lease for next week it's called twelve
to five. Now, why did you have to be the legalistic, mystical,
Well until next week. At the same time, I am quietly.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
You're Ernest Chapel, who wildly has come to you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
From New York. This is the world's largest network, serving
more than four hundred and fifty radios, a newsual broadcasting
system
Please Quietly. The Mutual Broadcasting System presents Quiet Fleas, which
(00:37):
is written and directed by Willis Cooper and which features
Ernest Chappell. Quiet Please Fortunight is called I Always marry Julia.
I did not, I assure you.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I knocked several times.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I can read signs. It says knock before entering, and
I knocked, and then I entered. Sir, my name is
Rambo Painbridge. I give you my card.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Modestly, I may say that my name is not unknown
in the theater.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
The Shakespearean theater, that is, I am no strolling player
of dashing hero and white flannels to day, and elderly
a mounte bank in a straw hat to morrow. I
have devoted my talents to the creations of the immortal Bard,
the sweet singer of strut for a bonny Bards, the
immortal Shakespeare himself. I think, if you are not unfamilied
(01:36):
with his great works, perhaps you have even seen me
threading the boards in Macbeth tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creps in this petty paste from day to day. Or
possibly is the noble Marc Anthony Jurnius Caesar evil let
men do live after them? The good is often said
with therefore I have great succession about the methody. However,
(02:00):
my greatest triumphs have been in the romantic role of Rongio,
a lady by yond the blessed Moon. I swear the
tips with silver, all the fruity taps a fruit tree top,
but sp what light thru yond window breaks? It is
be and Julius is the sun.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I always did better with that one.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
But I beg your pardon. I was trying to say,
what can I do for you? Why, my dear sir,
I was given under standard casting was going on here?
Why else would I pay a visit to that sir?
Rather musty cubicle eh, and you talk a great deal,
that's your resir. Speaking is my profession. Speaking is my life,
(02:46):
my being, my ear, my mety. You speak French. I
haven't told I speaking like an idiot who's soul Lanier,
don long beyond. Let speak to mysel myself briefly. I
am prepared to deliver on short notice any one of
a large number of shakespearey in pots O Hello, Ronio,
(03:07):
the Rono Bottom, the Weaver, King, Henry the fourth left, sixth,
the Tokyo oh and.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Henry the eighth.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I am reasonably familiar with the characters of Shakespeare. Sir, good, good, good.
You see you have saved Romeo innumerable times, Sir, two
packed houses. I recall one time in I believe it
is the mornin Illinois?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Is morlen in Illinois when.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
They placed kitchen chairs in the aisles in addition to
the hundreds of UK you find seats in the house.
When did you last play radio? The last? It has
been sometimes, sence, But I am a very quick study, Sir.
That's I assure you. Ah, I could be up in
several days saying three days and what have you been
doing recently? U? I have just concluded a very successful
(03:55):
run as uh Andrello he Shakespearean Milan, no doubt. I
am sorry to say it was not, although it was
very interesting in a shall I say, sordid way? What
night were you want? This, sir? Was an afternoon presentation
(04:17):
pornograph needles and your part. I played the part of
Clapper Claude Dudey very heavy, naturally, A part of it
like a sort of poor Man's Macbeth, perhaps a touch
of catskin. And the party is finished now er A
(04:38):
regard for the truth compelled me to admit I was
replaced by a young man who had a different conception
of the character of Clappercaud dudey, and he didn't appreciate
your technique, idea, that direct card. But I also read
a commercial message my indeed, well s tell me look
(04:59):
over the contract we have seen at Bambridge. I seem
vaguely to recall your name. Yes, I was afraid of that.
I don't remember just how.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I am the man who married Julien.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Ah, yes, less it? Oh yes, sir, you are a
man of the world. You deem said that I am. I.
I always wanted to grow up here myself. I think
I'd be very distinguished for the mid no doubt, but
always playing Moronio. You know, did can't be done Beside.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
My beard always.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Comes out straight, this heart comes out red. Oh well,
you're the man who married Juliet, the man who always
married Juliet. Would you care to tell me about it?
I prefaced my remarks by suggesting that you are a
man of the world as I myself am. I was
(06:00):
young and er abersion when I first played Romeo to her. Juliet,
the city let it be nameless, say to explain that
it was in central Illinois, a section of our great
country at that time somewhat lost to culture. However, a
group of young thinkers after the light the otherwise, ventured.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
To put on Romeo and Juliet, and.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I was summoned from Chicago. While I've been playing playing
Shakespeare at that junction in my career, I was singing
illustrated songs in the small house on South State Street.
I shall never forget my first meeting with a young
woman who played the part of George and Elizabeth Petna.
Why how did you know that, sir, mon ween? Oh
(06:45):
the newspaper, ah publicity, publicity. Well, Anne Elizabeth was young,
and Elizabeth was beautiful. Anne Elizabeth was unsophisticated. I thought
I was introduced to her at our first rehearsal meeting.
And I tell you, Sir, I was bold of us.
(07:07):
I can think of nothing to say to her, but
that lovely speech I first caughted to you from act
too seemed to lady my under blessed moon. I swear
that trips with silver, all these footie and she picked me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Up at once, Oh, swear not side the moon inconstant moon.
That months we changed you, sir, good old yes.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
That I love Troos likewise variable. And we went right
through the scene, the entire scene letter perfect down.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
To good night, good night, finding is such sweet sorrow
that I shall see good night hetty mole.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Sleep, swell upon thine eyes, peace and my bress and
so on. And I tell you, sir, the place of
ruts were the applause of our fellow players. And so
we were married, and we played him in our costumes
on the stage in the setting Fordact too, who seemed
to the romance of Romeo and Juliet was at.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Last consummated in our present.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I like to think that the master himself, Shakespeare, would
have liked that. If er Shakespeare I had married him, Uh,
there wouldn't have been any story well black, Uh jove,
you know, I never thought of that. Perhaps he wouldn't
have liked him death, I expect well on marriage flourished
for the time, and then there came the rift within
(08:35):
the lute er Jennison idols of the King. Indeed, I
thought that was Shakespeare too innocent. I'm speaking more of that. Well.
I remember we were playing in Dodge Center, Kansas, or
Dodge to the Iowa. Some such place, Sir Saint Dodge
or Port Dodge minsote. I think I ever had a
young woman, the daughter of a plastering contractor, in one
(08:57):
of our previous stands, and we'd found a great neil
in common. She was interested in watercolor painting. Her name.
I'm afraid I don't remember her from me here. By
a strange coincidence, she turned up in Lake Dodge, Nebraska,
wherever it was. As a man of the world, I
could do no less than invite her to suffer after performance,
(09:21):
you understand, of course. Of course, then we were leaving
the restaurant much much later when we ran directly and
do ann Elizabeth, there was little of the gentle judith
of boxer.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Well, I was speechless, and Elizabeth, what so this is
the friendly game of crime you're going to indulge in
after the show? Well, I think I'll just shower you
around a little bit. Here's ahead for you too. You
stay away from my husband. You here.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It was intensely embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It was even more embarrassing when two weeks later and
Elizabeth found me kissing the plasterer's daughter in Union station
in Minneapolis. There are those Minneapolis policemen are well Russ
and tumble? And what did you do about? The crowning
blow was when Ann Elizabeth purchased the traditional weapon of
the outraged wife, a rolling pin. Playing the Anderson, I
(10:27):
asked her if she intended to make an apple pie
or two in our humble lodgings as we fared across
the country. What did you say to that, oh darling Romeo,
Now I'm going to use to beat your brain down
afire or catch.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
You with that woman again, So you'd better wear your crossover.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Did than you go out with.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Her again if you don't want to wear this rolling pin?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
For humph? She had a remarkably hungent manner of speech.
I was both sorrowed and relieved when the balcony collapsed
in Act too, scene too and she broke her neck?
How did that happen? For some unaccountable reason, the stage
(11:09):
but late seemed to have been removed. It was very depressing.
And then you married another Juliet. It seems to me
I've been marrying Juliet all my adult life. Yes, I
(11:29):
married a Nuther Faith mcdubby. I was playing and flaming
him New Hampshire, Massachusetts somewhere when I met her. Eith
was not young, Eith was not beautiful, Eith was an
exactlyble actress. Why did you marry her? It seemed a
good idea at the time. As a matter of fact,
it was leap here.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And she asked me, Randol, if you'll marry me as
John Shakespeare and cut me up our own, you'd be
the manager and do whatever place you want to.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I thought, what would we use for my But she
answered that before I.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Asked my bread at Ruth and Stafford Springs at the
eight nine thousand dollars ramble.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Well, I assure you that put a different face on
the matter. So we were married. We were married the
day after we opened in Romeo and Juliet in South Boston.
The most unfavorable notices, I must say mine, were adequis
of course saith. I wish you could have heard her
read that scene.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Oh swear not by the moons, the incompetant moon that
monthly changed in her encircled circle, or this stuff I
love proved likewise.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Variable to borrow an expression from the street, oh boy,
I pleaded whether to resign the feminine lead pardon to
allow me to find another actress. I told her she
could be the manager. She could do anything she wanted to.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Pray ramble, I will do anything I want to. It's
my money.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
There is very little one can do to argue with
that sort of thing, said, yes, yes, who think so?
The woman had no shame, sir, Nicely, I went on
and suffered the torments of the She had no sense
of timing. She forgot lines. We had the high prompters
behind every tree, under every bench, outside the window, and
(13:14):
fire a launces cell and I daily grew more and
more haggard. That wife. I can't hear it yet.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
What did it be your poison which the prior suddenly
had administered to have me dead?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
For sean free? That's right in Julia's chamber. Well, if
I liked for the nurse, I like the day she's dead.
She's dead, she's dead. Yes you were. You have cut
(14:02):
quite a father among the Juliet Sir, Shakespeare Kimber too,
he did well. I don't know why I'm telling you
all this really, probably because I asked you, well er,
there were really only three of them?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Is that so I thought of them?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Are?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
It just seems like lass? Oh? If I never played
Romeo and Juliott again, I'll be happy. How about Coriolanus?
I don't exactly understand the Coriolanus, But then I don't
really understand much of Shakespeare either. You don't, may It's
just words, a lot of it, sir to me, Hm,
(14:47):
well love. What about JULIETT number three? Oh, yes, sir,
that Juliet. Well, her name was really Juliet, and I'm
afraid she's the only woman I ever loved in all
my life. Tell me about her? Well, I suppose she
was as close to the junior Shakespeare wrote about as
(15:10):
any woman could be. Do you think so? Yes, yes
I do. There wasn't nothing wrong with our marriage. We
loved each other. There wasn't room for another woman in
my life? Then did you? Did you dispose of her too?
(15:30):
I never fully realized my own inadequacies until I married Juliet.
Why do I marry Juliet? Why is it that makes
me do it? There is such a thing as destiny.
Destiny Shakespeare was always talking about destiny and pay to
those things things I don't understand.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
But they work out, do they not?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Do they? Often? I have a picture of Juliott.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Yeah, three words, say Romeo and good night. Indeed, if
that thy bent of love be honorable, thy purpose marriage.
Send me word tomorrow by one that I'll procure to
come to thee, where and what time thou wilt perform
(16:23):
this rite, and all my fortunes at thy feet.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Are laid, And follow THEE the Lord throughout the world.
It is my soul that calls upon my name. Romeo.
How silver sweet thou lover's tongues by night like softest
music to attend the years. Romeo. Yes, that's a very
(17:02):
beautiful picture. And she's dead. I wish I never had
to play Romego and Julie again. I could play you're
doing Shakespeare, of course, yes, nothing but chickleea. Well, what
kind of run do you expect? How can anyone tell
(17:24):
with che that's so? I remember once in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
In Sheboyga, Michigan, I can ever tell him about We
played five stolid.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Weeks, and when we came.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Back the next year, we have to cut the last
act of a Merchant of Venice because a burlesque troop
from Chicago was coming into town. How about King Lear,
I've thought Kinglire, child of Roland, till the dark Tower
came his word was still I powen um, I smell
(17:56):
the blood of a British man or the hamlet to
be or not to be, that is the question. But
I suppose you'll be wanting.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
To do it wrong.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Your and Julia. I uh, you need a room? Well then, hey,
Johnny said, you didn't tell me all about your own ladies, Julian. Frankly,
I would be very happy to be back in the theater.
(18:30):
I must confess that I murdered the Juliet One myself.
You didn't. Well, for goodness sake, I mean, by Joe,
what kind of people are we? Did you really? Yes?
Did you marry her?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Though?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Oh? Well, then I married all of mine, three of
them and the last. No, you tell me about the
Julia you killed? Oh no, don't want me. You well,
I told you I loved her very much. Shee she
(19:06):
was good for my ego. I remember those nights after
the show at hotels everywhere. It was always the same ramble,
let me thank you, my love, and would you that's
me a cold bottle of beer too?
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Oh, darling, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid there isn't any
beer lift. I'll run out of the corner and get well.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Thank you jarnis.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
If you're going to do that, would you mind picking
up a cigar or two for me? Uh? How to
tell it?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
See?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Of course, Eddy, and I would love the sandwich that
if Pestrus is still open?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Do you want an magazine to no just.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Even me peppers? Or would you see your racing form
bring it along too? Will you? Of course I'll be right,
I hope you will, Darling. That's pink shirt.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I wanted to wear it tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'll be back in kind to iron it for you. Here,
let me help you with your slippers first.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Oh all right, I yes, I'm capable of taking care
of myself. You run them off? Oh wait, you didn't
kiss me? She sounds wonderful. She was always buying me things,
(20:31):
such neckties. I remember one. Oh my dear sir, I
am such a cook. How many many times I fell
asleep to the sound as her washing the few dishes
we had after a succulent midnight meal of beef throgn
off or chicken marango, watch your crew to garn me cooked,
(20:54):
my dear sir over a gas flame in a room
as often as n and she never asked for us,
sent for herself, always had a few extra dollars when
I've had a bad station of the track and such
an actor, you know, it's amazing. I never offer play
(21:15):
anything else but you. I wish you could see I'd
like that very much, Yes you would. And what did
you say happened to her? Well? He died, did you?
It was very odd?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Singular?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I mean what happened. It was a Saturday night, I remember,
because we had no performance that night. We played only
a Saturday matinee than a matinee on Sunday. I'd been
playing card with some of the prominent citizens of the
city we were playing in, and I came home about
ten o'clock. I expected to find Julia to sleep.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
He wasn't.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
He was standing in the center of our room with
a strange man. Her arms were around each other and
they were kissing.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
It was very bad, very very bad.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You killed her? Oh, so I am afraid I was
rather wild. So I yes, so red, as the saying goes,
the man who was somewhat smarter than I, I heard downstairs.
Julius tried to explain, but she think it. I was sorry.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
She hit her head on the corner of.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
The table for it. That's what killed her. Oh no no.
I stormed out of the place and went out to
a restaurant for dinner. And then after the phone Nail,
I felt a little better, and I went back determined
to forget her. I was a little late. He had
hanged herself. That's too bad, Yes it was. How was?
(22:54):
I don't know that the man she was kissing with
her brother, who had just dropped in to see us both. Oh,
sometimes I can hear their voices. Union and Elizabeth by
the moon constantly.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Have a monthly change his inference circle or Julia murter
py love prove likewise there?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well, uh, don't alarm then, am I? Uh? I think so?
But I want you to read against Julia first? Out here?
Why you got it all dressed?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Haven't you? X two?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Seem to oh over there by the balca if you
please take it from the lady beyond the bladed room.
Oh well, Julius, speak the speech, I pray you and
I pronounced it by search. That's it's fifty. Go on, well,
as lady, why yonder blessed moon? I swear the tips
(24:12):
with silver?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
All these fruitry tough O?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
What is this you were talked about? Destiny Ember, here's
your destiny and myles, what this is the destiny we
spoke up? Then this is your fate, your punishment. There
are the three humors. There is the one I slewp
(24:47):
I don't remember. Julia had to die to make plain.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
So.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
I found her. Who the devil are you?
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I bought your new friends. My name is Shakespeare, William Shakespeare.
At your six mm hmmm, fire please for tonight was
(25:37):
called I Always married Juliet. The man who spoke to
you was Ernest Chapel, and James Monks played Shakespeare. The
three Juliets were Margaret Draper, Abby Lewis and Ann Seymour.
Music for Quiet Pleas is played by Albret Berman. Now
I can worry about next week. Fire Please. Here's my
(25:57):
good friend Belle Cooper. First, I must tell you that
the characters on Quiet Please I are not intended to
represent any person living or dead, with the possible exception
of mister Shakespeare, and then are certain people who doubt
he lived anyway. The other characters are completely with the
children of my own imagination. If you happen to have
(26:19):
the same name as one of them, isn't intended to
be you. Flat lease for next week it's called twelve
to five. Now, why did you have to be the legalistic, mystical,
Well until next week. At the same time, I am quietly.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
You're Ernest Chapel, who wildly has come to you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
From New York. This is the world's largest network, serving
more than four hundred and fifty radios, a newsual broadcasting
system
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