August 8, 2025 • 26 mins
A horror and fantasy anthology series that delves into the eerie and the unknown, offering stories that unsettle and provoke thought. Its minimalist production enhances the chilling narratives.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Quiet Please, Quiet Please.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
The Mutual Broadcasting System presents Quiet Please, which is written
and directed by Willis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell.
Quiet Please for tonight is called Presto Chango. I'm sure, Oh,
(01:04):
excuse me. You really must excuse me.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's an old joke I haven't thought of.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
In years, a joke and Johnny Martins and I used
to kill ourselves over to me, it's still funny.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Probably you won't crack a smile even.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
But I must tell you, I really must.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You say to me, Sis, can you make an elephant disappear?
And I say, sure, where's the elephant? That's all really well,
I told you it wouldn't sound funny to you, but
to me it brings back memories. I wonder where poor
(01:44):
Johnny Martin's is. All those years Johnny and I used
to have fits, just fits, laughing at our fun joke,
that is, we did till I made an elephant disappear. Well,
it takes longer to tell than that. We were standing
there by the Illinois Central Freight people and it was
(02:05):
early in the morning in the circus Womo Bowden and
Johnny and I were watching. We were about sixteen years old,
I guess. And when the elephants started to come down
the gangplank and the big car they were in, Johnny
grind to me and he said, Sasfield, can you make
an elephant disappear? And I said, sure, which elephant? And
Johnny said that one, and I pointed the thing at
(02:27):
it and I said, Cristo Chang show disappeared.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So it disappeared.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And that's what set me on the first drunk of
the latter to success. Well, I admit I didn't know
was going to disappear. I was pretty surprised. But if
you think I was surprised, you should have seen no
circus people.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I never saw that the Hella balloo in all my life.
They just looked everywhere for that elephant. I saw all Read.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Vogel saying, the deputy sheriff looking at the depot platform.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
For it, even.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And I never liked Eldred Vogel sang because he used
to chase me for stealing mushmallow and so so I
pointed the thing at him and I said, Crystal Changeo disappeared.
But nothing happened, and Johnny said it didn't disappear. What
didn't disappear? I asked him, and he said the freight people. Well,
(03:24):
I said, I meant Eldred Vogelsang and zip like that.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Edward Voglesang was gone. Scared. Don Rudye was scared. So
was Johnny. I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
What the thing was when the old man gave it
to me. I was just standing in front of the
Standard Theater down there on Capitol Street when this old
fellow came out.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I know who he was.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
He was Professor Hagleostro, the world's famous magician, and he'd
been in the show the night before.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
See.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I was excited seeing him in person to do something
magic right right there on the street three.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And why goodness he did. Well. He stopped and looked
at me and he said, hello, Sarzfield. Well, now, how
in the dickens did he.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Know my name?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I know, it's a funny name. My grandfather named me.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
He was out in California in the gold Rush in
forty nine and he was a member of a militia
company in the town called Startsfield, and they were the
Sarsfield Grenadiers, and they carried big battle axes instead of guns.
So my grandpa named me Sarsfield Grenadier McCutcheon after the
Sarsfield Grenadiers.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And here was this magician calling me by.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Name and handed me this thing and laughing and walking away.
This thing, this this little stick.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
With the five pointed star on the end. That's the
foundation of my fortune.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
As you might say. And I've had it since.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
The fourteenth of May nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
How did it work? Very simple? You just pointed and
you say, presto change o disappears. Oh I'm sorry, did
you disappear? I didn't mean to. Well, somebody disappeared.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Oh that's too bad. I can't do a thing about it.
That's the trouble. I haven't found out yet how to
make it work and reverse I can turn things. Darn
this mosquito preystal.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Change o mosquito be a doll.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
No, don it prestal change old disappear. You have to
be careful with this thing. I remember what I did
the Johnny Martins with it.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Well, we were having one of those.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Kid quarrels that, you know, nothing serious, just arguing about
the whatever it was. I've forgotten, but I said to him,
you poor fish, and then I pointed the thing at
him and.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I said, Presto change.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
And you know what, I had to run six blocks
click he split on Court Street to saw him in
the river in time.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Six blocks I had to run. I just made it.
He saw him away.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
I never did know what became of Johnny. Some snap
and turtle hate him. I suppose it's something the things
kids will do. Oh sure, all this stuff created quite
a sensation, but nobody ever suspected me. And naturally, I
wasn't going to volunteer anything. Heck, no, not me. Not
(06:45):
When I can make elephants disappear elephants, I can make
anything disappear anything. By golly, even you if you get
smart with me, because I'm not a kid any longer. See,
I'm a grown up man. I can do as I please.
I'm the only guy in the world that can do
just as I please. Me and the thing here, So
(07:10):
what do you want done? No, you better not ask
for it, because you're liable to get it, and maybe
you wouldn't like it when you got it. So keep
quiet and listen. Wait a minute, I think there's somebody
at the door.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Sit still, I'll be right back, And if it's somebody
I don't want to see, I'll make him disappear for you.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Hello, Southfield, do you remember me?
Speaker 4 (07:43):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:44):
You go to Southfield.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I don't what do you want?
Speaker 5 (07:50):
I want this thing back?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
What thing?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
This thing I gave you? On May fourteenth, nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Huh, for goodness sake, it's the professor.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ah are you, professor?
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Well, I'm a little tired, Susie. Have you got the
thing here?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Sure? I've got it and I'm going to keep it.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
No, sauce Field, I didn't give it you to keep.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
You didn't say that about it, professor on May fourteenth,
nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
May I come in? Please?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No, please? You gave it to me and I'm going
to keep it.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
What if I take it away from you? So you
know the trick then, ey?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Trick?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
What trick that I can't take it away from you?
That it has to be given?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Well, thanks for telling me.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I wish you would give it to me.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
I needed no thanks, Professor, I got useless for it.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Well will you give it to me when you are
done with it?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I'm not gonna be done with that, professor.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Well, if you ever are, may I have it back?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Sure when I'm done with it.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Thank you very much, south seeld so long.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Well love, Hey, where'd he go? Well, how do you
like that? I didn't do a thing and he disappeared.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Just like gosh, he must be a real magician.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Excuse me, Yes, yes, dian marial magicians outfield?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Oh who is this.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Professor?
Speaker 6 (09:43):
And I love you know I was.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
A practicing magician nearly.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
Two hundred years ago, outfield, I love you know that
marry out to a NetWars my friend, and then heel
lost my head over that necklace of hers. And if
you look up the writer, you'll see that I died
in Rome, in San lay On, in Britain in seven
ninety five.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
You did you say you died?
Speaker 6 (10:05):
That's what people say, and that's the way. It is
an history book, susy. But just between you and me,
I didn't die.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You didn't keep it gi your.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
Tongue in your head. And don't forget that you promised
me this thing when you are finished with you.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yes, sir, I mean no, sir, I mean gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Now, who, for goodness sake is that I'm not going
to the door. It's probably that old magician again.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Hello, No, it didn't me.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
It's a custom.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Oh well fact, how did he know? Well? Excuse me?
Speaker 7 (10:57):
Excuse me, yes, sir, Why hello, Bernard hellos Field?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Uh was there something?
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (11:16):
I got business with you, now, Bernard, that business has
all been transacted.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
No, no, it.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Ain't, Fiel Let mean now now look here, Bernard. You
oh well you're in.
Speaker 8 (11:33):
Yeah, now kid, what don't sit down?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Don't point that gun at me?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Why not?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's so it's liable to go off it now, Bernard,
don't get down.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Heah, what's that?
Speaker 5 (11:57):
That's money?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Oh? Yeah, you remember our little deal? Yes, I certainly do, Bernard.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
This magic thing of yours was gonna turn one dollar
bills and a hundred dollar bills.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Of course I did it, you sure did. And Larry
Blackman's in jail. Larry Blackman's in jail. Yeah, but why
what's form? For goodness sake?
Speaker 8 (12:23):
For passing tony hundred dollar bills?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
For goodness sakes?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
All this door you fixed for me, it's counterfeit, Oh,
for goodness sake.
Speaker 8 (12:33):
Yeah, that's why I said too. I just came here
to blow your head off, suns Field. You and your magic, well,
well I can't help it. I did my vand and
they good enough, So I'm gonna knock you off.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
No, yeah, oh no, oh yes, sauce Field. Wait, Bernard
put that thing down?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Oh no, I won't that Tony magic Gang put it down.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I think it's Tony Bernard. Why you big gorilla? Press? Change?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Oh no, change?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
No, disappeared man, I made that just in time. Darn him.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I thought I said disappear, but I turned him into
a gorilla.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Why goodness was he ferocious? Well he disappeared anyway.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
You knew they made a mistake.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
So where did you come from?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Out there where?
Speaker 5 (13:46):
You wouldn't want to give me the magic?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Run?
Speaker 9 (13:48):
Now, Shasky, before you make a really serious mistake, would you?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
No, might say taking counterfeit money. I mean the man
into a guerrilla. I wouldn't make any mistakes like that, selsk.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
You you wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Huh, Oh no, I know. I'm very seldom make mistakes.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well here's one for you. Prestal change.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Oh disappear, prestal change or disappear.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
It won't work on me, sufis what I am? A professional? Selfius? Look,
I'm working over.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Goodness? Gracious, No, where did they go? Well? No, now
you see what I have to go through. It is
all beer and griddle. When you sees what who said that?
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I did excuse me?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
What did you say?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Skitch saft fields, bea and skittles?
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Well, what are skittles?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
If you're such a magicians?
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Is a game something like nineteen shaft steels? I used
to play it with King Louis the fifteen de France
and try to wit it.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Up to it.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Don't let me go on.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
What was I saying?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Oh? It is noll beer and skittle skittles.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
When you get hold of a magic thing like this, you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
See you make one false move when you're in a gym.
How did I know that money would turn up counterfeit?
And again? I might have been murdered by that gorilla
if I wasn't such a sharp character. I don't know
what I do and what I really said.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
The hen statiels I wish to goodness would go away
from fast. Oh I'm Sally Tsey, I'll go. I'll probably
see you before long.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Oh my gosh, this is my day.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh I know who that is?
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Are you gone? The professor? Are you gone?
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I know who it is because she rings the doorbellance
instead of making it is girls your hell?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
You said you were gone?
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Oh I am sary to really, I really go this time,
I'm injured. Setis really into this?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Well, goodbye, excuse me, please generally, Well, you certainly kept
me waiting.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
Enough, Popsy, Well, I'm sorry, angel I bet you had
another visitor, well, a feminine visitor, Sarsfield.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh, my goodness, novel with a beard. Look at all
the money.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Where'd you get the money? Star Ceo?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Why a man gave it to me?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Come now, it's dar sc you do you expect me
to believe that? Well he did.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh I wish a nice man would give poor little
me some of the nice money.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Well, poor little me has only got one dollar, bio,
you got one hundred.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Dollar bi Oh, yes, I know, Genevieve.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
But the nice man would miss a little teen see
bit of the money. Now, well, Genevieve, you see I
mean you know? Is it really your? Sarfield? Well the way, dearries, Oh,
I wish I had some? Well you see I no,
(18:03):
I can't let you have it, my goodness, Starsfield. I
didn't think you were stingy me. No, dear, no, I
didn't you murdered somebody for it? Gosh no, then where
did you get it?
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Well, honey, it's flood money.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It's it's magic.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Oh, for heaven's sake?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah, how is it magic?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I did it with my magic wand.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
But can you do magic?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Stars? But I'm well, I don't.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
I bet you can't. I bet you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh no, no, indeed, Jenny, we'll do something.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Magic then make some more money. Excuse me, I didn't
say anything, honey.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Well what is who is it to me?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Your larce is coming sausty?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Oh my gosh? How did she don't know what starts you?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
How did she know where I was?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Professor? Oh my gosh? What will I do?
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Now?
Speaker 6 (19:12):
What's the matter?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Angel say? You got to get out of here?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Well I like that.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I certainly appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Why do I have to get out of here?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Don't you love me? Jenny? Meeting my wife?
Speaker 6 (19:33):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Love of he say?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Now dear, now, dear, I really.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Must go now.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Nice to have met you. Oh no, hotel, Oh the
professor change disappear? Where would you go?
Speaker 5 (20:15):
Whoa sir?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I did it just in time?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Oh that's the magic thing, yes, wow, just in time again.
I want to see.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Don't touch it, jennevie.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Oh now, star Field, I won't heard.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
It, please, honey, is it really magical?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
It really is, dear, please please let.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Me have it.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
You don't see any trigger anything.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
There isn't any Please put it down, Genevieve.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Then what makes it work?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Jennie? Please? Please? You just pointed at her like that,
don't point, and jenn you said.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
He said please, so change a young.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Lady, presto.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Change said something else.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh I know that, I know you don't get appear.
Oh my goodness. He certainly went away in a hurry.
(21:35):
My goodness. What happened to me? Oh Jensie, Oh my gosh?
Oh where am I.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Heard?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Where am I.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I set food?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Oh? Is that I can't see?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It means Southfield physically as Oh good, let me out
of here, Professor Willia.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I'm I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You can't get out of here, Southfield. You're here to stay.
Remember the one won't work in her verse. It's too bad.
But I told you you'd make a mistake.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
One is this place? Why?
Speaker 5 (22:24):
That's just what it is.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Boy.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
This is the place where things.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Go when they disappear.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Oh no, and I'm sure you're going to have a
wonderful time with the people here.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
What people?
Speaker 9 (22:38):
Why don't you remember an elephant? And a deputy sheriff,
and a boy you turn into.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
A fish and a very very.
Speaker 9 (22:49):
Angry gorilla home more and you're oh and oh boy, Suthfield,
is she going to be tickled to see you?
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Where you asked by.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
The title of tonight's Quiet Please story was Presto Chango.
I'm sure it was written and directed by Willis Cooper.
And the man who spoke to you was Ernest Chappell,
and Edgar.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Staley was a professor, the distasteful Bernard was the immaculate
and talented mister d Latimers charming Miss Peggy Stanley played
Genevieve as a masterful.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Dog in the Gorilla. Were both the one and normally Brad.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Barker as yoursual music is by Albert Burman. Now for
a word about Quiet Please.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Next week here is a writer, director Willis Cooper.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
He didn't recognize anybody, and night Dige, Well, it's shuddn't.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
They are all natives of my typewriter and.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I never did exist before next Week's started called.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Three thousand words, and so until next week. At the
same time, I am quietly ured Ernest Chappell.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
As much as we would like to forget about the
last war and turn our hopes and efforts away from
the death and destruction caused overseas. The situation in many
European countries demands our attention. You've heard it on the radio,
You've read it in your daily papers. Men, women and
children in war devastated areas are slowly starving to death.
Most especially the children, are suffering. Their daily diets are
(24:48):
often inadequate to sustain life. As always in the midst
of starvation, disease reaps a horrible toll. Tuberculosis, rickets, pelagrins,
other diseases are spreading with children the chief the students.
Many private American agencies have been sending as much help
as they could down twenty five well established relief agencies
have combined into a single drive to save the next generation.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
We ask you to send your.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Contributions to the Crusade for Children in New York. This
program is heard in Canada through the facilities of the
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. This is a mutual broadcasting systemat
Quiet Please, Quiet Please.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
The Mutual Broadcasting System presents Quiet Please, which is written
and directed by Willis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell.
Quiet Please for tonight is called Presto Chango. I'm sure, Oh,
(01:04):
excuse me. You really must excuse me.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It's an old joke I haven't thought of.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
In years, a joke and Johnny Martins and I used
to kill ourselves over to me, it's still funny.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Probably you won't crack a smile even.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
But I must tell you, I really must.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You say to me, Sis, can you make an elephant disappear?
And I say, sure, where's the elephant? That's all really well,
I told you it wouldn't sound funny to you, but
to me it brings back memories. I wonder where poor
(01:44):
Johnny Martin's is. All those years Johnny and I used
to have fits, just fits, laughing at our fun joke,
that is, we did till I made an elephant disappear. Well,
it takes longer to tell than that. We were standing
there by the Illinois Central Freight people and it was
(02:05):
early in the morning in the circus Womo Bowden and
Johnny and I were watching. We were about sixteen years old,
I guess. And when the elephants started to come down
the gangplank and the big car they were in, Johnny
grind to me and he said, Sasfield, can you make
an elephant disappear? And I said, sure, which elephant? And
Johnny said that one, and I pointed the thing at
(02:27):
it and I said, Cristo Chang show disappeared.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
So it disappeared.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
And that's what set me on the first drunk of
the latter to success. Well, I admit I didn't know
was going to disappear. I was pretty surprised. But if
you think I was surprised, you should have seen no
circus people.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I never saw that the Hella balloo in all my life.
They just looked everywhere for that elephant. I saw all Read.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Vogel saying, the deputy sheriff looking at the depot platform.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
For it, even.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
And I never liked Eldred Vogel sang because he used
to chase me for stealing mushmallow and so so I
pointed the thing at him and I said, Crystal Changeo disappeared.
But nothing happened, and Johnny said it didn't disappear. What
didn't disappear? I asked him, and he said the freight people. Well,
(03:24):
I said, I meant Eldred Vogelsang and zip like that.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Edward Voglesang was gone. Scared. Don Rudye was scared. So
was Johnny. I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
What the thing was when the old man gave it
to me. I was just standing in front of the
Standard Theater down there on Capitol Street when this old
fellow came out.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I know who he was.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
He was Professor Hagleostro, the world's famous magician, and he'd
been in the show the night before.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
See.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I was excited seeing him in person to do something
magic right right there on the street three.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And why goodness he did. Well. He stopped and looked
at me and he said, hello, Sarzfield. Well, now, how
in the dickens did he.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Know my name?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I know, it's a funny name. My grandfather named me.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
He was out in California in the gold Rush in
forty nine and he was a member of a militia
company in the town called Startsfield, and they were the
Sarsfield Grenadiers, and they carried big battle axes instead of guns.
So my grandpa named me Sarsfield Grenadier McCutcheon after the
Sarsfield Grenadiers.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
And here was this magician calling me by.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Name and handed me this thing and laughing and walking away.
This thing, this this little stick.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
With the five pointed star on the end. That's the
foundation of my fortune.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
As you might say. And I've had it since.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
The fourteenth of May nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
How did it work? Very simple? You just pointed and
you say, presto change o disappears. Oh I'm sorry, did
you disappear? I didn't mean to. Well, somebody disappeared.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Oh that's too bad. I can't do a thing about it.
That's the trouble. I haven't found out yet how to
make it work and reverse I can turn things. Darn
this mosquito preystal.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Change o mosquito be a doll.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
No, don it prestal change old disappear. You have to
be careful with this thing. I remember what I did
the Johnny Martins with it.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Well, we were having one of those.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Kid quarrels that, you know, nothing serious, just arguing about
the whatever it was. I've forgotten, but I said to him,
you poor fish, and then I pointed the thing at
him and.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I said, Presto change.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
And you know what, I had to run six blocks
click he split on Court Street to saw him in
the river in time.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Six blocks I had to run. I just made it.
He saw him away.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
I never did know what became of Johnny. Some snap
and turtle hate him. I suppose it's something the things
kids will do. Oh sure, all this stuff created quite
a sensation, but nobody ever suspected me. And naturally, I
wasn't going to volunteer anything. Heck, no, not me. Not
(06:45):
When I can make elephants disappear elephants, I can make
anything disappear anything. By golly, even you if you get
smart with me, because I'm not a kid any longer. See,
I'm a grown up man. I can do as I please.
I'm the only guy in the world that can do
just as I please. Me and the thing here, So
(07:10):
what do you want done? No, you better not ask
for it, because you're liable to get it, and maybe
you wouldn't like it when you got it. So keep
quiet and listen. Wait a minute, I think there's somebody
at the door.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Sit still, I'll be right back, And if it's somebody
I don't want to see, I'll make him disappear for you.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Hello, Southfield, do you remember me?
Speaker 4 (07:43):
No?
Speaker 5 (07:44):
You go to Southfield.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I don't what do you want?
Speaker 5 (07:50):
I want this thing back?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
What thing?
Speaker 5 (07:54):
This thing I gave you? On May fourteenth, nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Huh, for goodness sake, it's the professor.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ah are you, professor?
Speaker 5 (08:05):
Well, I'm a little tired, Susie. Have you got the
thing here?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Sure? I've got it and I'm going to keep it.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
No, sauce Field, I didn't give it you to keep.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
You didn't say that about it, professor on May fourteenth,
nineteen sixteen.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
May I come in? Please?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No, please? You gave it to me and I'm going
to keep it.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
What if I take it away from you? So you
know the trick then, ey?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Trick?
Speaker 5 (08:39):
What trick that I can't take it away from you?
That it has to be given?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Well, thanks for telling me.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
I wish you would give it to me.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
I needed no thanks, Professor, I got useless for it.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Well will you give it to me when you are
done with it?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I'm not gonna be done with that, professor.
Speaker 5 (09:03):
Well, if you ever are, may I have it back?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Sure when I'm done with it.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Thank you very much, south seeld so long.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Well love, Hey, where'd he go? Well, how do you
like that? I didn't do a thing and he disappeared.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Just like gosh, he must be a real magician.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Excuse me, Yes, yes, dian marial magicians outfield?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Oh who is this.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Professor?
Speaker 6 (09:43):
And I love you know I was.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
A practicing magician nearly.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
Two hundred years ago, outfield, I love you know that
marry out to a NetWars my friend, and then heel
lost my head over that necklace of hers. And if
you look up the writer, you'll see that I died
in Rome, in San lay On, in Britain in seven
ninety five.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
You did you say you died?
Speaker 6 (10:05):
That's what people say, and that's the way. It is
an history book, susy. But just between you and me,
I didn't die.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You didn't keep it gi your.
Speaker 6 (10:16):
Tongue in your head. And don't forget that you promised
me this thing when you are finished with you.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yes, sir, I mean no, sir, I mean gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Now, who, for goodness sake is that I'm not going
to the door. It's probably that old magician again.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Hello, No, it didn't me.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
It's a custom.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Oh well fact, how did he know? Well? Excuse me?
Speaker 7 (10:57):
Excuse me, yes, sir, Why hello, Bernard hellos Field?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Uh was there something?
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (11:16):
I got business with you, now, Bernard, that business has
all been transacted.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
No, no, it.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Ain't, Fiel Let mean now now look here, Bernard. You
oh well you're in.
Speaker 8 (11:33):
Yeah, now kid, what don't sit down?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Don't point that gun at me?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Why not?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's so it's liable to go off it now, Bernard,
don't get down.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Heah, what's that?
Speaker 5 (11:57):
That's money?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Oh? Yeah, you remember our little deal? Yes, I certainly do, Bernard.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
This magic thing of yours was gonna turn one dollar
bills and a hundred dollar bills.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Of course I did it, you sure did. And Larry
Blackman's in jail. Larry Blackman's in jail. Yeah, but why
what's form? For goodness sake?
Speaker 8 (12:23):
For passing tony hundred dollar bills?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
For goodness sakes?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
All this door you fixed for me, it's counterfeit, Oh,
for goodness sake.
Speaker 8 (12:33):
Yeah, that's why I said too. I just came here
to blow your head off, suns Field. You and your magic, well,
well I can't help it. I did my vand and
they good enough, So I'm gonna knock you off.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
No, yeah, oh no, oh yes, sauce Field. Wait, Bernard
put that thing down?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Oh no, I won't that Tony magic Gang put it down.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I think it's Tony Bernard. Why you big gorilla? Press? Change?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Oh no, change?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
No, disappeared man, I made that just in time. Darn him.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I thought I said disappear, but I turned him into
a gorilla.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Why goodness was he ferocious? Well he disappeared anyway.
Speaker 5 (13:36):
You knew they made a mistake.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
So where did you come from?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Out there where?
Speaker 5 (13:46):
You wouldn't want to give me the magic?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Run?
Speaker 9 (13:48):
Now, Shasky, before you make a really serious mistake, would you?
Speaker 5 (13:54):
No, might say taking counterfeit money. I mean the man
into a guerrilla. I wouldn't make any mistakes like that, selsk.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
You you wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Huh, Oh no, I know. I'm very seldom make mistakes.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well here's one for you. Prestal change.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Oh disappear, prestal change or disappear.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
It won't work on me, sufis what I am? A professional? Selfius? Look,
I'm working over.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Goodness? Gracious, No, where did they go? Well? No, now
you see what I have to go through. It is
all beer and griddle. When you sees what who said that?
Speaker 4 (15:06):
I did excuse me?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
What did you say?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
Skitch saft fields, bea and skittles?
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Well, what are skittles?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
If you're such a magicians?
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Is a game something like nineteen shaft steels? I used
to play it with King Louis the fifteen de France
and try to wit it.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Up to it.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Don't let me go on.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
What was I saying?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Oh? It is noll beer and skittle skittles.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
When you get hold of a magic thing like this, you.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
See you make one false move when you're in a gym.
How did I know that money would turn up counterfeit?
And again? I might have been murdered by that gorilla
if I wasn't such a sharp character. I don't know
what I do and what I really said.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
The hen statiels I wish to goodness would go away
from fast. Oh I'm Sally Tsey, I'll go. I'll probably
see you before long.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Oh my gosh, this is my day.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh I know who that is?
Speaker 6 (16:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Are you gone? The professor? Are you gone?
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I know who it is because she rings the doorbellance
instead of making it is girls your hell?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
You said you were gone?
Speaker 5 (16:34):
Oh I am sary to really, I really go this time,
I'm injured. Setis really into this?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Well, goodbye, excuse me, please generally, Well, you certainly kept
me waiting.
Speaker 6 (17:00):
Enough, Popsy, Well, I'm sorry, angel I bet you had
another visitor, well, a feminine visitor, Sarsfield.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Oh, my goodness, novel with a beard. Look at all
the money.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
Where'd you get the money? Star Ceo?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Why a man gave it to me?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Come now, it's dar sc you do you expect me
to believe that? Well he did.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh I wish a nice man would give poor little
me some of the nice money.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Well, poor little me has only got one dollar, bio,
you got one hundred.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Dollar bi Oh, yes, I know, Genevieve.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
But the nice man would miss a little teen see
bit of the money. Now, well, Genevieve, you see I
mean you know? Is it really your? Sarfield? Well the way, dearries, Oh,
I wish I had some? Well you see I no,
(18:03):
I can't let you have it, my goodness, Starsfield. I
didn't think you were stingy me. No, dear, no, I
didn't you murdered somebody for it? Gosh no, then where
did you get it?
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Well, honey, it's flood money.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It's it's magic.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
Oh, for heaven's sake?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah, how is it magic?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Well?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I did it with my magic wand.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
But can you do magic?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Stars? But I'm well, I don't.
Speaker 5 (18:39):
I bet you can't. I bet you're kidding.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh no, no, indeed, Jenny, we'll do something.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Magic then make some more money. Excuse me, I didn't
say anything, honey.
Speaker 9 (18:55):
Well what is who is it to me?
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Your larce is coming sausty?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Oh my gosh? How did she don't know what starts you?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
How did she know where I was?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Professor? Oh my gosh? What will I do?
Speaker 9 (19:11):
Now?
Speaker 6 (19:12):
What's the matter?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Angel say? You got to get out of here?
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Well I like that.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I certainly appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Why do I have to get out of here?
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Don't you love me? Jenny? Meeting my wife?
Speaker 6 (19:33):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Love of he say?
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Now dear, now, dear, I really.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Must go now.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Nice to have met you. Oh no, hotel, Oh the
professor change disappear? Where would you go?
Speaker 5 (20:15):
Whoa sir?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I did it just in time?
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Oh that's the magic thing, yes, wow, just in time again.
I want to see.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Don't touch it, jennevie.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Oh now, star Field, I won't heard.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
It, please, honey, is it really magical?
Speaker 4 (20:40):
It really is, dear, please please let.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Me have it.
Speaker 5 (20:42):
You don't see any trigger anything.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
There isn't any Please put it down, Genevieve.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Then what makes it work?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Jennie? Please? Please? You just pointed at her like that,
don't point, and jenn you said.
Speaker 5 (20:59):
He said please, so change a young.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Lady, presto.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
Change said something else.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh I know that, I know you don't get appear.
Oh my goodness. He certainly went away in a hurry.
(21:35):
My goodness. What happened to me? Oh Jensie, Oh my gosh?
Oh where am I.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Heard?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Where am I.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I set food?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Oh? Is that I can't see?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It means Southfield physically as Oh good, let me out
of here, Professor Willia.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I'm I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You can't get out of here, Southfield. You're here to stay.
Remember the one won't work in her verse. It's too bad.
But I told you you'd make a mistake.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
One is this place? Why?
Speaker 5 (22:24):
That's just what it is.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Boy.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
This is the place where things.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Go when they disappear.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Oh no, and I'm sure you're going to have a
wonderful time with the people here.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
What people?
Speaker 9 (22:38):
Why don't you remember an elephant? And a deputy sheriff,
and a boy you turn into.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
A fish and a very very.
Speaker 9 (22:49):
Angry gorilla home more and you're oh and oh boy, Suthfield,
is she going to be tickled to see you?
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Where you asked by.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
The title of tonight's Quiet Please story was Presto Chango.
I'm sure it was written and directed by Willis Cooper.
And the man who spoke to you was Ernest Chappell,
and Edgar.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Staley was a professor, the distasteful Bernard was the immaculate
and talented mister d Latimers charming Miss Peggy Stanley played
Genevieve as a masterful.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Dog in the Gorilla. Were both the one and normally Brad.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Barker as yoursual music is by Albert Burman. Now for
a word about Quiet Please.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Next week here is a writer, director Willis Cooper.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
He didn't recognize anybody, and night Dige, Well, it's shuddn't.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
They are all natives of my typewriter and.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I never did exist before next Week's started called.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Three thousand words, and so until next week. At the
same time, I am quietly ured Ernest Chappell.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
As much as we would like to forget about the
last war and turn our hopes and efforts away from
the death and destruction caused overseas. The situation in many
European countries demands our attention. You've heard it on the radio,
You've read it in your daily papers. Men, women and
children in war devastated areas are slowly starving to death.
Most especially the children, are suffering. Their daily diets are
(24:48):
often inadequate to sustain life. As always in the midst
of starvation, disease reaps a horrible toll. Tuberculosis, rickets, pelagrins,
other diseases are spreading with children the chief the students.
Many private American agencies have been sending as much help
as they could down twenty five well established relief agencies
have combined into a single drive to save the next generation.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
We ask you to send your.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Contributions to the Crusade for Children in New York. This
program is heard in Canada through the facilities of the
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. This is a mutual broadcasting systemat
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