Tanglefoot - Quiet Please | 06/04/1949 (Ep103)

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fire Please, Quiet Please m The American broadcast The Company

(00:28):
presents Quiet Please, which is written and directed by Willis
Cooper At which features Ernest Chappel. Quiet Please for tonight
is called tangle foot. Back in the old days when

(00:49):
the I didn't mean general issue, it just mean jalvinized iron.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I used to be a plumber.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
They're no cracks about leaving tools in the shop when
you want in a job. Because of a climber took
along all the two of these label and need on
a job you don't know nothing about that he gets there,
you need one of those moving vans to tote them.
So that's the same what you're gonna do with the
portrenion sticks and wrench in the mid full of open.
You'll be surprised.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
The first way I work.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Well, you ever smell a plumbing shop?

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Can I tell you what you smell?

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Open? First? Thing like creosop, that's what you start with,
linseed oil that's and the red leads you use on
the drunks and stuff. Smell a hot lead where the
kids know and down scraped lead and a little pigs
you can.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Put in your bag. Galvanized dying.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, sure you can smell galvanized yon profas gins to eat.
The l's and the t's, and the streets and the
cups and the unions, all sizes and forty teen sizes.
You can smell galvanized yon all right? Then have just
smell a rat that live back behind the bins, gasoline burning,
and the blow touches and the furnaces, yea. And the

(02:02):
thing I remember best of all the smell of the
fly paper heaps. It seems to be a flat paper
every place. I don't know. Maybe in the old days
there was more of it, that there was more flies
or something.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Then like other place, who went, you're.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Running the flat paper? Remember that smell like vanished with
sugar in it, like tappy that's got spoiled under the fasteners,
the smell of move fify weigh think about it and
you kind of think, you know, what are the flies
like the smell?

Speaker 2 (02:35):
And went for it.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Smell Sure flies can smell. They got smells of the
make of blood. I'm jealous if you noted. If I've
got lots of things, Yeah, you got a jillion eyes,
six fancy leads, winds, then the trunk like an elephant,
earn a little there. The best kiss they call it.
Huh yeah, not the flies. They can't. Boy, how did

(03:01):
you break through it? I find know a lot about flies.
I'll tell you about it and we can see it today.
There was people living upstairs about the Perman Sampurai works.
That was in the summer nineteen fifteen. I guess that's

(03:24):
kind of while to go the back porch. H over.
The back porch of the shop made kind of a
shed where we used to tread pipe, meltops, read stuff
like that. And Rickets the horse used to be tied
up back there in the alley with a wagon. When
he was working back there. It was quiet and shady
and hot. All we could hear was Ricketts stamping his

(03:45):
feet and twitching his tail at the flies. Maybe there
woo the gasoline furnace. Whoever he was working with champing
kind of lazy and slow in the heat. The boy,
was it hot iron for the who was threading three
quarter inch black iron pipe? You want the botic skirts

(04:07):
in the night? Black? What boating skirts? Percy swinging the knight?
H all right, yeah, that's good enough. Good another length
of pipe hiding it only want an in the stage

(04:32):
roll ricost there in the sun his heads in the shade.
What are you hiding about? Fly Just put the flying
lead around him? Yeah, look, God, don't step in the
flat paper. Fly paper every place that Bert sim Jade's
nuts about fly papers gone stops all over the place,
and that's what you're throwing it. You can thread up

(04:53):
the pipe. I'll take care of the fly paper. You
think of all that stuff around, it wouldn't be so
many flies. H How do you mean smart that fly papers?
My papers always problem, and then the dumb flies my ones.
Look at it.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
It's not up the fly away name on people.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Horses take a bike, live longer and wonder how long
friends live? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Too long, No more like a popula for mm.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Hmm good No one of what's kids to think about eating?
That's what I'm thinking about. Time of it. I got
fancy knew this last years.

Speaker 4 (05:43):
Pretty m new.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Gonna go on to you and go with me. I
wasn't drinking, but.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
You wasn't well. No flies on you brow makes.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
A nice creams you up from me? Mama? See what
after three is?

Speaker 3 (06:01):
This morning has got to sail or something.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I have to stop at ruins and get some involve
Timmer stopping with a make sandwiches we got right because spain.

Speaker 5 (06:11):
No he's off yet, Ben runs and stuff for sent
to and easy and nothing and nothing that I mean anything. Yeah,

(06:36):
you get at the minute, you get a lot of
stuff stuck. I started that way with sevent types and
kicking fat paper around him and stuff we don't after
the ice stream at every's house sit in the kitchen and.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
That's kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
And gosh, I'm curty to.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Go back to work. I hate to put back to
had like that laid down and take him there for
oh shut yeah breke king kady kenya that yeah, the
bake breaking kid one the things along as many people

(07:18):
bars eyes don't have bar that's my think. Yeah, he's
sent for your mind. You don't like that if you
want tomorrow and then start a couple of minutes more along. Yeah,

(07:39):
thinking about fries. Crazy about fries today and that's the
end of the doubt A back fly it happened.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
That's if you ended the NFL.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
It's tied to fly.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Crazy got a top fly. That's new work. I know
me and right man, you little busy work you that
that should be a great.

Speaker 5 (08:11):
Big sid think of a dog what kind of a dog.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
I like that old color matchison my fly, that big bite.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Used the room, kind of a fly with a magnifians off. Yeah,
I don't see no one nothing mean looking facey Harveston.
You're the big guys, shaggy eyes look at you from
all over. I always washing their faces like a cat.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Big very germs. Uh sure, games see a big five.
She'll be something, She'll be a swell pup entertainment. Oh,
I'd tell him a maybe the be a big and
strong at the ball. Put a train on them. Fly

(09:01):
away with you and to have the training to taking places.
Cry you know, yeah, you should thinking of the educated cry,
cry the smile lives, take the catches and good old
tangle footboys. I thought a lot for big people down
the foot to catch yourself.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Bruh, ain't not much tangle foot in the world. You know,
fly like that in the world.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
He is h brow fall wise. Didn't you hear the whispers?
Come on quay the one?

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, I know what should see the fly up to
have to feed them people?

Speaker 1 (09:38):
I guess you. Now, let's go, And a member was
putting in a three four months later, it was just
getting kind of the first days of Paul and people
were starting to burn dry leaves along the Curbstone held

(09:59):
your new fixed an half water heater for Frank and Edith,
the Gibbins, the telegraph. My pair lived out there where
Washington runs into Court Street. Kind of cool out there.
I remember Missus Gibbons. She was drawn at us because
she said it was so slow. She wanted that hot
water heater fixed right this minute. She wanted to take
a back before the chicken passed up at Christian Church.
She had to put the ice, and you had on
two devil food cakes and but we please hurry up.

(10:21):
She was out of jidday. Yeah. Finally Henry comment the reduced.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
To see what he was waiting for. Missus Gibbons.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
She went out to the kitchen to look at the
cakes and don't put back. And you want to make
my cakes fall? She said.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
I said, yes, ma'am for about the forty eighteenth time.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
And she shut the doors and they've done in bolting
hammer and I said, oh me too. I can't women
leave you alone. When I get the union after her,
she thinks she knows so much about plumbing. Oh it's
cool asmatic.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
Yeah, I got my oil born.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
The fly paper.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
I haven't thought she still got fly.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Paper on four? Let me do it. You gotta take
off the skin too, scrip me some gasoline, and then
I got guff all over me. You can fly for
three weeks. You more gasline. I know where's a fly?

Speaker 6 (11:19):
Huh?

Speaker 3 (11:20):
I know where there's a fly.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Who won't you swap them? Well?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
For two reasons, firsday, I kind of like this fly,
liked him, raised them from a.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Raised a fly from a pop. The second thing is
you want to swap this fly? Better have a baseball back?
Why this your flyers? Eight inches?

Speaker 6 (11:42):
Love?

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Huh?

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Hand me the red laden.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Hobby?

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Maybe nine?

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Where you're gone?

Speaker 1 (11:54):
What do you call her for? Worth? And see him flies?

Speaker 5 (12:01):
Not?

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Hea? Say low? Yeah? Under the crawl ship.

Speaker 4 (12:13):
Come on, Teddy here, teddy boy, Yeah, teddy, come on, teddy,
come on that boy. Come on Maddy, good boy, good dog,
Come on daddy.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Hear me, Come on out of there, come on.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Out, come on with hey, you just sleep.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Maybe maybe you ain't there, Maybe he's too.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
I can see him laying out in there.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, I'll be chill and pull him out.

Speaker 6 (12:43):
Dog.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Come on, huh, yeah, you ain't never seeing anybody anything.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
I mean I killed.

Speaker 7 (13:03):
No, I don't mean kill.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
They're putting charms on him like that. I mean, oh,
murdered by fly. Long This here fly killed Teddy. That
was Herbie Butterworth's dog. There was a hound dog that
weighed forty two pounds on John APRA's scaled the day before.
He says he just en killed poor old Teddy. But

(13:26):
maybe Teddy was scared of death. Got the fly first.
There's nobody in the whole great, big wide world ever
seen a fly that was eight nine inches long. Nobody
was first Herbie and Teddy and afterwards me, I didn't

(13:49):
found him yet. Maybe he got thirst to death. Kind
of scarce me, thank you. He cans up to me.
I've got him on the head. I'm flying up to you.
I'm flying up. You won't even see his wings, you
know how fly's wings is. You can see through them.
Maybe he's stross to death. Flies can't stand cold weather.

(14:13):
They die, They don't always die. Sometimes they go into
what is it a comma. When they get warm, they
come to again, and then they're hungry. Oh, I think
he's dead because we ain't heard about anybody croaking, you know,
with a mystery not since Teddy. Yeah, I don't see that.

(14:37):
Try not thinking about Teddy. Maybe you have to lose
some fly paper around big hunkster fly. But I got
fly paper all around the cold didn't there where he
was said enough and don't have to be so heavy
lands and a hunk of tangle foot it and get
all stuck to the hair and hair hair on his legs.

(14:58):
Flies got hair on their legs, real hair, more like bristles,
like spikes. Kind of he get flypaper stuck in his legs,
his wings. He ain't gonna go skirting around much. Maybe
he's dead, sure, hope not hope not well, I kind
of liked him and he eat up Teddy. I'd be

(15:21):
just dis satisfied to find him, to get to see him. Yeah,
it must be quite a psych though, like looking at
a fly through a magnifying glass. Sure glad he only
got to be eight nine inches long. Hate to lose him. Uh,
I can put him in a sec at er a
side show or something. Make a ginion dollars, take him
up at Chicago. People have come from mine, So bounce

(15:42):
around the zoom just about the museum like that one
whos in New York and he was quite a thing.
He used to eat mice. I went and caught nice
and and let him have. Let's see what he'd do
to a dead man? Thanks for kindly. I see what
he'd done to Teddy. How'd you get him so big?
Herbie secret Becker and so bet If he'd lay an egg,

(16:09):
they could be bigger. I mean the puppets be bigger
than he was. Fly egg, bigger than hen's egg, to
be bigger than maybe a turkey egg. Maybe he's dead.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, yeah, he comes after me.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm gonna shoot him my old product.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
You couldn't hit a balloon with a bull hittle?

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Who hit them? All?

Speaker 5 (16:27):
Right?

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Hello, Louise, how'd you do? Hey? Who's that fuck? I
don't know. Just moved the town from some place in Ohio,
Iowa or some place, Louise, Louise McKenny, McKinley, McKinney, something
like that.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
But you know better than Empire Hall. I dance the
other night.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
I dance Social Athletic Club. Huh well night see at
the shop in the morning. So now they call editor.
You're gonna sew feels like no orus waters. Yeah, that's
a lot of stay at at Louise what's your name?

(17:09):
That's something man? Sorry, I feel like their sighs. I
like it, say Herbie, why listen, why listen to that?
I have great big fly? Yours?

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah, I'm the level.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Now is there a great big fly? Couldn't you just
be well? I just thought about it all of a sudden.
I've never seen this here fly? Mean you think I'm
just fooling. I was wonderful. I was just making it up.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
Was no, I wasn't making it back.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I just wondered, just as I never made that up,
And I wish there was. I wish I never started
making flies grow big. I have stopped when I got
one this big, I will. I don't know whether the
leader or not. Listen buck when I think with that
firth fly. Remember way back last summer we first talked
about it, you said, what would you feed a great

(18:15):
big fly? Yeah? Remember what you said? What you said? People, people?
You said, that's what you feed him? Oh yeah, listen,
he already had a doubt. Let me know about what
if he If he ain't dead by now and all
this cold, he must be.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Must be what.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Hungry? Third of December nineteen fifteen, here seven sixth time
or three the third, the night Herbie and me talk
like I told you. I remember because on the seventh,
the boy scouts at the movie at the Capitol Theater
ex used to be the standards here, and there was

(19:00):
a kid with a bugle blown it out front. That
was the seventh. That was the night bird king kid
formed me up from the shop, and Mel Watson came
over from kind of next door and told me Bert
was calling me. I'm not over Bert, He says, you
and Herby Butterworth, go right away to these people, these
McKinney's and mckinnies and McKinnes, whichever it was, because their friend,
the sun was wrong with it and they was hot

(19:21):
and they was freezing, and I should go right on over.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
And Herby had meet me there. He was already on
away with the wickets and the wagon.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
And the tools.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
So I said, all right, and I went home and
put on my over shoes in my army sweater. I'm
over there.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
See. The place is only two doors away from where
Herbie lived, there by the Garfia School, and that's why
he was there already. See, I'm not even bother.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
To knock kind of door.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
I just went around to the cellar door with my
corman lantern, and I come on down and Herbie was
there already setting on the cellar steps, so I just
abot fell over him and not looking very happy there,
I said, I thought there was freezing to that here
in this house with them. That's it furnish it's not
called down here as wow, I said, fixed it, Uh,
fix the furnaces. That was crowding. I put an one

(20:05):
on fired applesar. Well, what's you're something? I'm the cellar
stairs for them a fasal fixed? What's the something around here? For? Well?
You're looking so crabby about it? Anybody want to be
crabby with me? I walked out for the cross Town.
I'm about, what's you so grabby about it? Oh? She's
down here, Oh Louisian know the.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
McKinley galler whatever.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Her name is.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
Where all?

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, that's why I need to welcome Chan's company. Trees
right out. You makes some time, right, I'm she'll hear you, Percy.
He went back there in the preserved closet before good
to bring your Jara apple butter. The old man makes
elderberry wine. You got some bottles back theory, but from

(20:53):
Ohio Iowa or whatever. It is three years old, and
I sure like elderberry wine right, know it? Well, I'll
tell you, Herb, I'm a good guy. I'm your friend, Herby.
Soon you got everything picked up, I'll beat it.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
You don't have to pick.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
I never stood in the guy's way, Herbie. I'll walk
into the cold and the snow. I'll ride home and
read V. C. Allen's Worths editorials and the Times. I'll
leave the coast clear for you. You don't have to
do that. But just as soon as I have one drink,
aveloped the very wide. No, there was a catch in it. Now,
I'll go right away on his. Herby, Hey, you've been

(21:34):
telling her about giant flies and things, had it out,
had things dead? I guess if it ever was alive.
You gotta make him. You got some tailor maid's neighbors.
Interesting what you're doing making that one man probably hit

(22:01):
it for herself. And give her a good smacking of
your fancy spoke. I to give you a good smack
on too. Huh. There's Yella and folks still here upstairs.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
Louise, shut up, Hey, Louise, shut up back, come on,
let's go help her mix Louise.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Wants some hurd up for people hear you and you, hey, Louise,
I thought maybe you newed them, Louise, Louise, what's that?
Herb me? Buck quick said, Louise. I could recognize her

(22:52):
by her clothes, by your clothes, that's all. You remember?
Saw a person that if.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
I no, you never did Herbie and I did a
big not eight nine.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Inches long now down on a hot, stuffy cellar two
feet off and fat, and kind of looked it for
it was dopey, like after you had a big dinner,
and Louise Herbie, he fainted and I packed by the
furnace pipes. I could see them eyes and Chilian eyes,

(23:30):
and that trunk like elephant. It kind of buzzed and
waggled his eyes at me and rubbed its face with
its paused like a can't washing its face like the dinner.
And I tried to holler it. All I could hear
was this buzz that's all. And then it kind of
stumbled up from the pipes and it jumped in it

(23:51):
and I past my face and it flew kind of sagging,
kind of fount of the corning eyes team that it
flew out into the first room. The furnace door was
opened and the fire.

Speaker 7 (24:00):
Yeah, you didn't want to hear anymore, huh, it was
only a little bit more. You've come this far with me, so.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
And they put us, both Herbie and Mean in jail.
They said, we murdered Louise, but nobody could murder anybody
like that, and there wasn't any other evidence. So I
see the fly was dead, disappeared, and wasn't anything to
go on, so they had to let us go. That's
really knew the whole story. He's Herbie. The egg. Oh sure,

(24:39):
ibody you ever forget about that egg? About the egg
bigger than a hand's egg. BIG's a turkey egg. Back
there in the dark behind the pipes. I didn't see it,
fucking but I never told anybody about it, did I
heard you?

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Nobody but you.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
And when they left us had to jail. They come
back here looking at it, but it was gone. I
was kind of squenching back there, and we looked insure
that flavor they call him the books, you know, And
we took it away with us, and sure enough, this
one grew bigger than its father or its mother or
whatever it was. And everyone since then has got a

(25:16):
little bigger.

Speaker 5 (25:19):
And a little hungrier. That's so heavy, Ye hungry all
the time? Never let him out to hunt. Wait, look
gonna they are there.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
First, real live betfly You ever seen Louise, We call
him Louise. Look in their eyes, billions of them. Look
the unrolls is drugging that cute, nice clean face. See
the shop wrestles on his legs. Biggest flyer in the world,

(25:57):
bigger than a college, bigger to shopper on the pony
at that and hungry or two. Come on, Louise, wake up,
he's awake. Fucker.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
H Okay, okay, go on in now, you're not talking
to you, says.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Go on in. Go aroun here. Louise is hungry.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
It's matter.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Can't move your feet. Sure, you're stuck in something. Used
to call that stuff by paper. We got a different
thing for it now. Yeah, I know he's trying to
get Louise. You're stuck for good. And Louise is hungry.

(26:48):
I only heard a minute. That's all caretain Louise, honey,
don't get your feet stuck in the man paper.

Speaker 6 (26:57):
Mmmmmmm mm.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
The title Tonight's Quiet Please Story is Tango Firk It
was written and directed by Willis Cooper and The Man
Who Spoke to You with Ernest Chapel and my friend Hebby'll.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Stayed by Jack Leslie.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
As usual, music for Choith Please is by Albert Berman
and the songs by William Jay McLintock. Now forgety about
next week's Quire please.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Here is our writer, Director Willis Cooper. Okay, Bill, thank
you for listening to Choir Please. I'm gonna start for
your next lope A strange title of the Hat in
the Bed and John J. Catheran that than the Bed
then John Jay Catman next week. So the next week

(28:11):
at the same time, I am quite the orse RNs
Chapel m hm.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
This is ABC, the American Breakfasting Company. H