December 14, 2024 • 26 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Quiet Please, Quiet please.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
M m hmmm.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
H m.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
H m hm.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
M h.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
M h m hmmm mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
H m hm Quiet please. Dot Org presents Quiet Please,
which is written and directed by Willis Cooper and which
features Pondraw Quiet Please for today is called The Venetian
Blind Man.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
H m hm.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
M h.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Now, I'm very seldom make mistakes. In fact, I never
made a mistake in my life until a few weeks ago,
when I made rather an idiot of myself for a
large radio audience by dying. It embarrassed me to no end.
As mister Evil Lamb of London, England sometimes says, when
I came to life again, came to life to realize
(01:19):
that I was not the victim of an early aneurism
as I had thought, and that I had not fallen
victim to what Miss Sissy Williams of New York sometimes
calls a tummy ache. By the way, it is Miss
Williams's birthday today. You see, I had established something of
our reputations as the man who knows everything, and an
episode of this sort does not do my reputation any good.
(01:43):
So alas alas not to mention a lacka day. By
the way, just to refresh your memory, allow me to
reintroduce myself. The name is Charles W. Afternoon, formerly of Tarzana, California.
My business. I'm the man who knows everything. Isn't that enough?
(02:08):
What do I know why? For example, it rained on
Easter in Chicago in nineteen twenty nine. Lieutenant Colonel Dewey,
seat of Salinas, California, was once a trumpeter in the cavalry.
Missus John M. Gore, wife of the well known realtor
of Peaking, Illinois, has a broken arm. Her maiden name,
(02:29):
by the way, was Ruth Epkens. A pair of oversized
rubbers in a closet in mister Willis Cooper's office were
left there by the Reverend Julian Matron of perth Amboy,
New Jersey. There is a small hole at your left sock,
Mister John P. Markwand the eminent novelist is under the
impression that the Dunnsburg automobile is a foreign car. Well,
(02:52):
in fact, it was always manufactured in Indianapolis, Indiana. And
Miss cecil Tregistant Secretary, is listening at the keyhole with
my office Doore. I just wanted to know I was
going to say about you, Miss Tregasance. You have already heard. Yes,
you may go out and get a cup of coffee
(03:14):
and a piece of pineapple upside down cake. Just a moment,
Miss Tregasance, you lost your purse in car sixty one
one four of the fourth Avenue Local Subway train coming
to work this morning. Here's a dollar which you will
forget to return to me.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Oh, I'll give it back, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Unfortunately that is not true. You will forget it until
flag Day, which is June fourteenth. At that time you
will be in Vancouver, British Columbia discussing employment with Major
Dirt dispector of Station kjor. After that you will forget
it permanently.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I'm sorry, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Now, if you will admit the gentleman who's waiting to
see me, there isn't so, Yes, there is, miss Tregasance.
His name is Mikhail Palmison me though, for reasons of
his own which I should not go into, he prefers
to call himself Mike Pampson.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yes, sir, come in, mister Pampson, Senor Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You'll know what you want, Senor homosni Hamson, help mister
Pampson to a chair, missus trekkisance, thank you did not
a signor that's Spanish, Miss trekkersance. Oh, mister Pampsen, is Italian?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Really shave a piano Barsano? Mister Pampson with.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Miss trekkistance doesn't know what that means. Mister Pampson, it
was the mottol of her high school class, but she
hasn't the faintest idea what it means. Did I swear
you may be excused? Missus trek sence. You take an
asprint for your headache.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I forgot my headache. I didn't thank you, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Mister Afternoon, I'll read alone.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Except for the radio audience, mister Pampson, I have forgotten them.
You must never forget that, mister.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
P I have a matter of great importance to consult
you about.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
I know what it is.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
No no, no, no no no no no no please.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I know who you are, mister.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
But you ask the gentlemen at the organ to play
a little louder, mister Afternoon, so that we will London
be over.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Ard if you wish, mister Berman, will you play a
trackle louder please, the danger of my life.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
You stop too soon. I'm the danger of my life.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Never mind Bert. By this time we all know that
mister Pampson is in danger of his life, or rather
that he thinks he is. I am take it easy,
and mister Pampson, Orville is still in bed.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
I hope he falls up and breaks his neck.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You hate Orville?
Speaker 6 (06:34):
I have reason to hate Orville, so you say so?
I mean, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Did he give you that knife scar in your intercostal
region where ribs knife scar?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
How you know I got a knife scar on my leaves,
mister Afternoon. Why I know everything, mister Pampson, Yes, he
gave me that. I even know who you are, mister Pampson. Whisper.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
No, you're Venetian.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Mister Pampson, I am from Venice.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You do not see very well? I am blind, mister
after me, then you are the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Too late, mister Bernan, everybody are that.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And I'm afraid I can't help you. Mister Pampson. You
must help me, mister Afternoon, it can't be done.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Day, sir.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
You're not going to send me out to be murdered.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I am not sending you anywhere, mister Pampson.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
But I will be murdered or will will murder me.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It is useless to try to entrap me into a state. Mister.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
I will pay you large sums of money.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I already have large sums of money. You know everything,
mister Afternoon, Yes, I know everything.
Speaker 6 (07:55):
You know whether I'm going to be murdered or not?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I I won't tell you.
Speaker 6 (08:03):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Oh, yes I do. No you don't, mister Pampson. I
will give you an example of what I know. All right,
go on. Your great grandfather was Dante all Garry Ravenscroft.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Yes, how do you know?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You will admit I am right, mister Pampson.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Yes, but what difference does?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It makes a great deal of difference. Please go away?
Speaker 6 (08:27):
What if I don't choose to go away?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And mister Afternoon, I will take steps?
Speaker 6 (08:34):
You will call the police?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
No, what will you do?
Speaker 6 (08:39):
Then?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I have my own way of ending the scene?
Speaker 6 (08:43):
What the way?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Don't you ever listen to the radio?
Speaker 6 (08:46):
Certainly?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But well then no, no, don't do that to me,
will you go?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Very well? Then I have no alternative.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
And the mister Burman, My that was clever mister Afternoon.
I thought so he was a scallawag. Mister Afternoon, Yes,
(09:24):
I just knew he was.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I'll do the knowing around here, Miss Trekisance.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Do you know something, Miss treki Sance. No, mister Afternoon,
I think you're a very charming young woman, Miss Trekisance.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
How nice, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
What would you do, Miss trek Asance if I kissed you?
What am I saying?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I know what you'll do?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Lead over, Miss trek Asance.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Thank you, You're welcome. Mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I know what you're going to do. What asked me
to kiss you again?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Please do, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
M very very nice.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now I know what you're going to do, mister Afternoon. Eh,
you're going to ask me to kiss you again?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
So I am if you please, mister with pleasure.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Mister a.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
M hm oh darn it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Why what's the matter, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
The telephone's going to ring?
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Who is it?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
The Venetian blind man? Hello, Charles W Afternoon speaking. Yes, mister'connell.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I thought his name was Pamson.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I know, mister vo'connell. I know, mister O'Connell. You don't
have to tell me that, mister Volcano, I know it. Yes, goodbye,
mister Afternoon. I thought his name was Pampson Olconnell. The
phone's going to rain again, is it? Hello?
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Bud?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
How are no?
Speaker 6 (11:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I'm glad you're feeling fine. Yes, of course I read
your article on the Atlantic Monthly. I enjoyed it very much.
But why mister John b. Stetson universities in deal in Florida,
and there are those who love it. You're welcome, Bud.
(11:46):
That was Bud, but volcano. But Barry tell me something,
mister Afternoon.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
All right.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
The County Clerk of Polk County, Minnesota, in nineteen twenty
five was Minnie Ibo. Two of the fifty second trip
carrier wing in the Last War was with Enna. Colonel
Bryce p. Disc Junior, whose father is a retired Brigadier general.
Mister Ralph Morgan of Bay City is coming to New
York on June first. If you have six cups and
six saucers and six different colors, they can be arranged
(12:17):
in seven hundred and twenty different combinations. If you had
ten of each, you could arrange them in three million,
six hundred and twenty seven eight hundred combinations. They load
fresh caught mountain trout on the Santa Fe Chief of Lahunta, Colorado.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
No, they do too.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
That isn't what I wanted you to tell me. I know,
Well tell me then, do you love me?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
There's somebody at the door, Miss Jugsence.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh pooh oh pooh again? Who's that?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
The Venetian blind man? Oh? Let it in please, miss Juggasence.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I don't understand how he can be.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I mean, good day, Misterconnell.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Why he's not blind, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
I have eyes to see you, beautiful young lady.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Will you sit down, mister O'Connell, Thank you well, mister voconnell.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
You know everything, mister Afternoon, Yes, sir, do you know
who I am? Yes? I am the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
He isn't blind, mister Afternoon. He's looking right at.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Me, I know, mister Evison's what I want to know,
whether or was going to murder you? Why?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
That's what the other Venetian blind man wanted to know,
isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
How did you oh you were listening with keyhole?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yes, sir, well, I thought that a Venetian blind man.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
He was really blind, mister Mike Pampson, who claimed that
he was the nacient blind Man.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I never heard of him.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
Nevertheless, be still, missus Trekkisance, Yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I want to know if Orvalisa going to murder me.
I won't tell you.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I will tell you who's Orville? You tell her, mister.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Volcano or the boss boss of what? Boss of the
criminal underworld? Mister Trekisance, he murders people.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yes, Oh is he going to murder me?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I refuse to answer that question.
Speaker 7 (14:35):
Oh, come on, mister Afternoon said no, mister Volcano, you
will tell miss Trekisance the name of your great grandfather.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
His name is Jasari Borg.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Make a note of that, mister trekisence all right?
Speaker 4 (14:53):
C E s A R E.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
How do you spell csary?
Speaker 8 (15:00):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Why do you ask that, mister Afternoon, Because I know
the name of the great grandfather of the Venetian blind Man.
Where I will know it when I hear it.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
My great grandfather's name.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Was just Tregasans. The Venetian blind Man is believed by
the police to be a sinister henchman, the killer for Orville,
who is sometimes known as the Decorator.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yes, sir, that's me.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mister Pamson said it as he.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
He ain't, isn't, mister Afternoon. Why would Orville murder this
gentleman or the other gentleman for that matter.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You tell her, mister O'Connell, don't you know? Certainly? I
know well because he knows one of us is a phony.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You mean one of you isn't. The Venetian blind man.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
That's right, lady, listen, I'm a he I know all
about the Venetian blinds. Look there are a bunch of
flat sticks. They got strips to hold them together. They
clomp it down when you pull it a street like this.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
That's right. So I mean mister Pampson said he was.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
He ain't isn't.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Mister Pampson is from Venice.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
And he's blind, he says he is. He fell over
the rug.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
You fell over the rug this morning. No, that's right,
you're going to fall over it in about five minutes.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
Oh no, mister Afternoon, you wait and see.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Listen, it's that Afternoon. This is Pamson. No I'm here.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Of course, what does he know that he's got a radio,
hasn't he?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Mister Afternoon means that he's listening to us on the radio.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
It is, huh where I'll fix that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Mustn't touch those plugs, mister O'Connell.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
I'll blow his head off.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Really, mister volcano, I'll.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Feel him full of holes.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Maybe he'd feel you full of holes. Mister volcano?
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Is it volcano?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Like Mount Vesuvis?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Worse? I'll burn him down.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Be careful, mister volcano.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
He can hear you all right, if you're listening, you
what's his name?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Pampson?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Which Pamsen?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
P A M. Pamson.
Speaker 8 (17:29):
If you're listening listen to this, you show up, I'll
feel you so full of bullets eight a man and
a boy will be able to pick you up. You
hear me, I'll cut your neck from here to here.
I'll have murder you pemsen you hear me.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Be careful, mister volcano.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Yes, do listen, Pamson. I dare you to come face me.
I dare you permsen you hear me? Rogert? Who said that?
I said? Who said that?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I think it was mister Pampson. Well, do you know
what's going to happen? Mister Afternoon?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Certainly I know what. Oh boy is he coming here?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Mister Afternoon?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
He certainly is.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
How's he going to get here?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Don't you hear the music?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Yes? But yes, but look who are you?
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Who are you? Venetian blind man?
Speaker 4 (18:33):
You are not?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You are not?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I am I am gentlemen, gentlemen, this is.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Hens, sir, I'm mean.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
So am I volcano.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I kill people.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
I bet I've killed more people than you have. How
many are twelve?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yeah? I kill a fourteen?
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Well you never killed your cousin.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
So well my second.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Well, I'm going to kill you. You are not I
am so.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Gentlemen, Yes, gentlemen, or we'll think. Gee gosh, gentlemen, I
know the name of the great grandfather of the Venetian
blind Man.
Speaker 6 (19:23):
Don't they?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No, no, no, no, mister Afternoon says no.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Well gee, yeah, gosh, you know what this means, gentlemen, who's.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
The Venetian blind Man? Then, mister Afternoon, I know will
Ghano Thamson.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Gentlemen. I will let you figure it out between yourselves.
But come, mister t Eggersons, let us retire whilst the
gentleman fight it out.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yes, mister Afternoon, fight it out.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Fike, come mister Trakisance, Yes, sir, I can leak you.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
I can leak you, and.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Gentlemen, don't forget to think a moment about what Orva
will say and what Orva will do after you, Miss Trakisance.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Thank you, mister Afternoon. I hope that'll be comfortable. Do
you want me to take dictation now, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
No, mister Trevisa, I want you to kiss me.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, I know you will, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Well, what do you know why, Darling? I know when
it's twelve o'clock in New York, it's eight pm and Ostlo,
And I know that Aspram is a siddle cella syclic
acid esther, and I know the television is here to stay,
and that Norman Foster, the movie director, is married to
Sally Blaine and Loretta Young is her sister. And I
know that there's a hotel in Montgomery, Alabama called Jefferson Davis.
(21:03):
And I know that Alan Craig, the advertising man, was
once a song and dance man. I know that Burgess
Beredeth's first name is Oliver, and that you can get
genuine Schweb's ginger beer in this country again. And I
know that Lieutenant Commander mc kelly's name is Michael Collins
and Pete Martin's office is in room three hundred at
the RCA building in New York.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And do you know what those two Venetian blind men
are going to do in the other room? Certainly I
know they're awfully quiet.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
They're talking. They'll figure it out.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
What will or we'll do to them? Mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Orville won't do anything, won't he? Oh no, they'll do
it themselves.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Do what?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Listen music?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
He's playing sad music.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Wait, yeah, yes, gentlemen, mister Afternoon, Yes, we discovered something.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Yes, we're not either one of us, the Venetian blind man,
of course not.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I knew that.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I didn't know he wasn't either, And I didn't know
he wasn't Gee Orville, he'd be awful mad.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh yes, well, well, goodbye, gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
Goodbye, mister Afternoon, goodbye, miss, goodbye, mister Vulcan and Thomson.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh, gentlemen, Yes, sir, put some papers down the floor, Yes, yes, sir, papers.
Blood is so hard to get out of the rugs.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh is Orville going to murder them?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
They did too. Oh no, for heaven's sake, they committed suicide,
didn't they?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Of course?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, for goodness sake, there isn't any Venetian blind man
at all?
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Is there?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Somebody's the door, miss trunk Stance.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'll get it. Of course, they didn't get any on
the rug after all, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
It always pays to be tidy.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Hello, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Hello, Orville, Well, for heaven's sake, Orville, who why Orville Venetian?
Mister Tregasance, Why yes, miss Ragasnce.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
My great grandfather was Thomas Alva, Venetian, the inventor of
the Venetian blind.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Why.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
What's the matter, mister Tregison.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Orville, Miss Targasant is in love? Go away? Orville?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Well, but what was that?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
The Venetian blinds filled down? Darling.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Oh that's all right, mister Afternoon. I'll fix them. After all,
I am the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I excuse me, mister Afternoon. Oh no you're not. Orville,
will you kiss me please, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
The title of Snights Quietly Story, He's the Venetians Live Man,
was written and directed by Willis Cooper and mister Afternoon.
The man who talked to you was Paul Nearm and
Lindsay Townsend was tragisanth Tamsen was played by Jeff Lopici,
(25:21):
and Olconno was John Allen. Gonx Orville was Paul Moss.
The music for Quiet Please is obviously by Albert Burman.
Now for a word about next week, here is our writer,
director Willis Cooper.
Speaker 6 (25:39):
Boy, I'll tell you about next week's guy, and I
remind you that next Sunday only quiet Plays will be
heard at three study pre in standard time.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Two hours earlier than years ago. I hope you'll listen
to the guy I had for him about the big guy.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm so unhill next week at the same time, I
am quietly or Burtis Chapel
Quiet Please, Quiet please.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
M m hmmm.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
H m.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
H m hm.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
M h.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
M h m hmmm mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
H m hm Quiet please. Dot Org presents Quiet Please,
which is written and directed by Willis Cooper and which
features Pondraw Quiet Please for today is called The Venetian
Blind Man.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
H m hm.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
M h.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Now, I'm very seldom make mistakes. In fact, I never
made a mistake in my life until a few weeks ago,
when I made rather an idiot of myself for a
large radio audience by dying. It embarrassed me to no end.
As mister Evil Lamb of London, England sometimes says, when
I came to life again, came to life to realize
(01:19):
that I was not the victim of an early aneurism
as I had thought, and that I had not fallen
victim to what Miss Sissy Williams of New York sometimes
calls a tummy ache. By the way, it is Miss
Williams's birthday today. You see, I had established something of
our reputations as the man who knows everything, and an
episode of this sort does not do my reputation any good.
(01:43):
So alas alas not to mention a lacka day. By
the way, just to refresh your memory, allow me to
reintroduce myself. The name is Charles W. Afternoon, formerly of Tarzana, California.
My business. I'm the man who knows everything. Isn't that enough?
(02:08):
What do I know why? For example, it rained on
Easter in Chicago in nineteen twenty nine. Lieutenant Colonel Dewey,
seat of Salinas, California, was once a trumpeter in the cavalry.
Missus John M. Gore, wife of the well known realtor
of Peaking, Illinois, has a broken arm. Her maiden name,
(02:29):
by the way, was Ruth Epkens. A pair of oversized
rubbers in a closet in mister Willis Cooper's office were
left there by the Reverend Julian Matron of perth Amboy,
New Jersey. There is a small hole at your left sock,
Mister John P. Markwand the eminent novelist is under the
impression that the Dunnsburg automobile is a foreign car. Well,
(02:52):
in fact, it was always manufactured in Indianapolis, Indiana. And
Miss cecil Tregistant Secretary, is listening at the keyhole with
my office Doore. I just wanted to know I was
going to say about you, Miss Tregasance. You have already heard. Yes,
you may go out and get a cup of coffee
(03:14):
and a piece of pineapple upside down cake. Just a moment,
Miss Tregasance, you lost your purse in car sixty one
one four of the fourth Avenue Local Subway train coming
to work this morning. Here's a dollar which you will
forget to return to me.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Oh, I'll give it back, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Unfortunately that is not true. You will forget it until
flag Day, which is June fourteenth. At that time you
will be in Vancouver, British Columbia discussing employment with Major
Dirt dispector of Station kjor. After that you will forget
it permanently.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I'm sorry, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Now, if you will admit the gentleman who's waiting to
see me, there isn't so, Yes, there is, miss Tregasance.
His name is Mikhail Palmison me though, for reasons of
his own which I should not go into, he prefers
to call himself Mike Pampson.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yes, sir, come in, mister Pampson, Senor Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You'll know what you want, Senor homosni Hamson, help mister
Pampson to a chair, missus trekkisance, thank you did not
a signor that's Spanish, Miss trekkersance. Oh, mister Pampsen, is Italian?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Really shave a piano Barsano? Mister Pampson with.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Miss trekkistance doesn't know what that means. Mister Pampson, it
was the mottol of her high school class, but she
hasn't the faintest idea what it means. Did I swear
you may be excused? Missus trek sence. You take an
asprint for your headache.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I forgot my headache. I didn't thank you, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Mister Afternoon, I'll read alone.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Except for the radio audience, mister Pampson, I have forgotten them.
You must never forget that, mister.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
P I have a matter of great importance to consult
you about.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
I know what it is.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
No no, no, no no no no no no please.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I know who you are, mister.
Speaker 6 (05:30):
But you ask the gentlemen at the organ to play
a little louder, mister Afternoon, so that we will London
be over.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Ard if you wish, mister Berman, will you play a
trackle louder please, the danger of my life.
Speaker 6 (05:59):
You stop too soon. I'm the danger of my life.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Never mind Bert. By this time we all know that
mister Pampson is in danger of his life, or rather
that he thinks he is. I am take it easy,
and mister Pampson, Orville is still in bed.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
I hope he falls up and breaks his neck.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You hate Orville?
Speaker 6 (06:34):
I have reason to hate Orville, so you say so?
I mean, mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Did he give you that knife scar in your intercostal
region where ribs knife scar?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
How you know I got a knife scar on my leaves,
mister Afternoon. Why I know everything, mister Pampson, Yes, he
gave me that. I even know who you are, mister Pampson. Whisper.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
No, you're Venetian.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Mister Pampson, I am from Venice.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
You do not see very well? I am blind, mister
after me, then you are the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Too late, mister Bernan, everybody are that.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And I'm afraid I can't help you. Mister Pampson. You
must help me, mister Afternoon, it can't be done.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Day, sir.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
You're not going to send me out to be murdered.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I am not sending you anywhere, mister Pampson.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
But I will be murdered or will will murder me.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
It is useless to try to entrap me into a state. Mister.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
I will pay you large sums of money.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I already have large sums of money. You know everything,
mister Afternoon, Yes, I know everything.
Speaker 6 (07:55):
You know whether I'm going to be murdered or not?
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Yes, I am.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I I won't tell you.
Speaker 6 (08:03):
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Oh, yes I do. No you don't, mister Pampson. I
will give you an example of what I know. All right,
go on. Your great grandfather was Dante all Garry Ravenscroft.
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Yes, how do you know?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You will admit I am right, mister Pampson.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
Yes, but what difference does?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It makes a great deal of difference. Please go away?
Speaker 6 (08:27):
What if I don't choose to go away?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And mister Afternoon, I will take steps?
Speaker 6 (08:34):
You will call the police?
Speaker 4 (08:37):
No, what will you do?
Speaker 6 (08:39):
Then?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I have my own way of ending the scene?
Speaker 6 (08:43):
What the way?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Don't you ever listen to the radio?
Speaker 6 (08:46):
Certainly?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
But well then no, no, don't do that to me,
will you go?
Speaker 4 (08:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Very well? Then I have no alternative.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
And the mister Burman, My that was clever mister Afternoon.
I thought so he was a scallawag. Mister Afternoon, Yes,
(09:24):
I just knew he was.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I'll do the knowing around here, Miss Trekisance.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Do you know something, Miss treki Sance. No, mister Afternoon,
I think you're a very charming young woman, Miss Trekisance.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
How nice, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
What would you do, Miss trek Asance if I kissed you?
What am I saying?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I know what you'll do?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Lead over, Miss trek Asance.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Thank you, You're welcome. Mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I know what you're going to do. What asked me
to kiss you again?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Please do, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
M very very nice.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Now I know what you're going to do, mister Afternoon. Eh,
you're going to ask me to kiss you again?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
So I am if you please, mister with pleasure.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Mister a.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
M hm oh darn it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Why what's the matter, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
The telephone's going to ring?
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Who is it?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
The Venetian blind man? Hello, Charles W Afternoon speaking. Yes, mister'connell.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I thought his name was Pamson.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I know, mister vo'connell. I know, mister O'Connell. You don't
have to tell me that, mister Volcano, I know it. Yes, goodbye,
mister Afternoon. I thought his name was Pampson Olconnell. The
phone's going to rain again, is it? Hello?
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Bud?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
How are no?
Speaker 6 (11:23):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I'm glad you're feeling fine. Yes, of course I read
your article on the Atlantic Monthly. I enjoyed it very much.
But why mister John b. Stetson universities in deal in Florida,
and there are those who love it. You're welcome, Bud.
(11:46):
That was Bud, but volcano. But Barry tell me something,
mister Afternoon.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
All right.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
The County Clerk of Polk County, Minnesota, in nineteen twenty
five was Minnie Ibo. Two of the fifty second trip
carrier wing in the Last War was with Enna. Colonel
Bryce p. Disc Junior, whose father is a retired Brigadier general.
Mister Ralph Morgan of Bay City is coming to New
York on June first. If you have six cups and
six saucers and six different colors, they can be arranged
(12:17):
in seven hundred and twenty different combinations. If you had
ten of each, you could arrange them in three million,
six hundred and twenty seven eight hundred combinations. They load
fresh caught mountain trout on the Santa Fe Chief of Lahunta, Colorado.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
No, they do too.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
That isn't what I wanted you to tell me. I know,
Well tell me then, do you love me?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
There's somebody at the door, Miss Jugsence.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh pooh oh pooh again? Who's that?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
The Venetian blind man? Oh? Let it in please, miss Juggasence.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I don't understand how he can be.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I mean, good day, Misterconnell.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Why he's not blind, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
I have eyes to see you, beautiful young lady.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Will you sit down, mister O'Connell, Thank you well, mister voconnell.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
You know everything, mister Afternoon, Yes, sir, do you know
who I am? Yes? I am the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
He isn't blind, mister Afternoon. He's looking right at.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Me, I know, mister Evison's what I want to know,
whether or was going to murder you? Why?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
That's what the other Venetian blind man wanted to know,
isn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
How did you oh you were listening with keyhole?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yes, sir, well, I thought that a Venetian blind man.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
He was really blind, mister Mike Pampson, who claimed that
he was the nacient blind Man.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I never heard of him.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
Nevertheless, be still, missus Trekkisance, Yes, sir.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I want to know if Orvalisa going to murder me.
I won't tell you.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
I want to know.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I will tell you who's Orville? You tell her, mister.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Volcano or the boss boss of what? Boss of the
criminal underworld? Mister Trekisance, he murders people.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yes, Oh is he going to murder me?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
I refuse to answer that question.
Speaker 7 (14:35):
Oh, come on, mister Afternoon said no, mister Volcano, you
will tell miss Trekisance the name of your great grandfather.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
His name is Jasari Borg.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Make a note of that, mister trekisence all right?
Speaker 4 (14:53):
C E s A R E.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
How do you spell csary?
Speaker 8 (15:00):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Why do you ask that, mister Afternoon, Because I know
the name of the great grandfather of the Venetian blind Man.
Where I will know it when I hear it.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
My great grandfather's name.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Was just Tregasans. The Venetian blind Man is believed by
the police to be a sinister henchman, the killer for Orville,
who is sometimes known as the Decorator.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yes, sir, that's me.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Mister Pamson said it as he.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
He ain't, isn't, mister Afternoon. Why would Orville murder this
gentleman or the other gentleman for that matter.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You tell her, mister O'Connell, don't you know? Certainly? I
know well because he knows one of us is a phony.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You mean one of you isn't. The Venetian blind man.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
That's right, lady, listen, I'm a he I know all
about the Venetian blinds. Look there are a bunch of
flat sticks. They got strips to hold them together. They
clomp it down when you pull it a street like this.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
That's right. So I mean mister Pampson said he was.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
He ain't isn't.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Mister Pampson is from Venice.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
And he's blind, he says he is. He fell over
the rug.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
You fell over the rug this morning. No, that's right,
you're going to fall over it in about five minutes.
Speaker 7 (16:25):
Oh no, mister Afternoon, you wait and see.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Listen, it's that Afternoon. This is Pamson. No I'm here.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Of course, what does he know that he's got a radio,
hasn't he?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Mister Afternoon means that he's listening to us on the radio.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
It is, huh where I'll fix that.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Mustn't touch those plugs, mister O'Connell.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
I'll blow his head off.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Really, mister volcano, I'll.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Feel him full of holes.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Maybe he'd feel you full of holes. Mister volcano?
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Is it volcano?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Like Mount Vesuvis?
Speaker 4 (17:13):
Worse? I'll burn him down.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Be careful, mister volcano.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
He can hear you all right, if you're listening, you
what's his name?
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Pampson?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Which Pamsen?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
P A M. Pamson.
Speaker 8 (17:29):
If you're listening listen to this, you show up, I'll
feel you so full of bullets eight a man and
a boy will be able to pick you up. You
hear me, I'll cut your neck from here to here.
I'll have murder you pemsen you hear me.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Be careful, mister volcano.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Yes, do listen, Pamson. I dare you to come face me.
I dare you permsen you hear me? Rogert? Who said that?
I said? Who said that?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
I think it was mister Pampson. Well, do you know
what's going to happen? Mister Afternoon?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Certainly I know what. Oh boy is he coming here?
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Mister Afternoon?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
He certainly is.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
How's he going to get here?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Don't you hear the music?
Speaker 4 (18:22):
Yes? But yes, but look who are you?
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Who are you? Venetian blind man?
Speaker 4 (18:33):
You are not?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
You are not?
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I am I am gentlemen, gentlemen, this is.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Hens, sir, I'm mean.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
So am I volcano.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I kill people.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
I bet I've killed more people than you have. How
many are twelve?
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yeah? I kill a fourteen?
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Well you never killed your cousin.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
So well my second.
Speaker 6 (19:03):
I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Well, I'm going to kill you. You are not I
am so.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Gentlemen, Yes, gentlemen, or we'll think. Gee gosh, gentlemen, I
know the name of the great grandfather of the Venetian
blind Man.
Speaker 6 (19:23):
Don't they?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No, no, no, no, mister Afternoon says no.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Well gee, yeah, gosh, you know what this means, gentlemen, who's.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
The Venetian blind Man? Then, mister Afternoon, I know will
Ghano Thamson.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Gentlemen. I will let you figure it out between yourselves.
But come, mister t Eggersons, let us retire whilst the
gentleman fight it out.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yes, mister Afternoon, fight it out.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Fike, come mister Trakisance, Yes, sir, I can leak you.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
I can leak you, and.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Gentlemen, don't forget to think a moment about what Orva
will say and what Orva will do after you, Miss Trakisance.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Thank you, mister Afternoon. I hope that'll be comfortable. Do
you want me to take dictation now, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
No, mister Trevisa, I want you to kiss me.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, I know you will, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Well, what do you know why, Darling? I know when
it's twelve o'clock in New York, it's eight pm and Ostlo,
And I know that Aspram is a siddle cella syclic
acid esther, and I know the television is here to stay,
and that Norman Foster, the movie director, is married to
Sally Blaine and Loretta Young is her sister. And I
know that there's a hotel in Montgomery, Alabama called Jefferson Davis.
(21:03):
And I know that Alan Craig, the advertising man, was
once a song and dance man. I know that Burgess
Beredeth's first name is Oliver, and that you can get
genuine Schweb's ginger beer in this country again. And I
know that Lieutenant Commander mc kelly's name is Michael Collins
and Pete Martin's office is in room three hundred at
the RCA building in New York.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And do you know what those two Venetian blind men
are going to do in the other room? Certainly I
know they're awfully quiet.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
They're talking. They'll figure it out.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
What will or we'll do to them? Mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Orville won't do anything, won't he? Oh no, they'll do
it themselves.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Do what?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Listen music?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
He's playing sad music.
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Wait, yeah, yes, gentlemen, mister Afternoon, Yes, we discovered something.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Yes, we're not either one of us, the Venetian blind man,
of course not.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I knew that.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I didn't know he wasn't either, And I didn't know
he wasn't Gee Orville, he'd be awful mad.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh yes, well, well, goodbye, gentlemen.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
Goodbye, mister Afternoon, goodbye, miss, goodbye, mister Vulcan and Thomson.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Oh, gentlemen, Yes, sir, put some papers down the floor, Yes, yes, sir, papers.
Blood is so hard to get out of the rugs.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Oh is Orville going to murder them?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
They did too. Oh no, for heaven's sake, they committed suicide,
didn't they?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Of course?
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Well, for goodness sake, there isn't any Venetian blind man
at all?
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Is there?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Somebody's the door, miss trunk Stance.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I'll get it. Of course, they didn't get any on
the rug after all, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
It always pays to be tidy.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Hello, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Hello, Orville, Well, for heaven's sake, Orville, who why Orville Venetian?
Mister Tregasance, Why yes, miss Ragasnce.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
My great grandfather was Thomas Alva, Venetian, the inventor of
the Venetian blind.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Why.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
What's the matter, mister Tregison.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Orville, Miss Targasant is in love? Go away? Orville?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Well, but what was that?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
The Venetian blinds filled down? Darling.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Oh that's all right, mister Afternoon. I'll fix them. After all,
I am the Venetian blind man.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I excuse me, mister Afternoon. Oh no you're not. Orville,
will you kiss me please, mister Afternoon.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
The title of Snights Quietly Story, He's the Venetians Live Man,
was written and directed by Willis Cooper and mister Afternoon.
The man who talked to you was Paul Nearm and
Lindsay Townsend was tragisanth Tamsen was played by Jeff Lopici,
(25:21):
and Olconno was John Allen. Gonx Orville was Paul Moss.
The music for Quiet Please is obviously by Albert Burman.
Now for a word about next week, here is our writer,
director Willis Cooper.
Speaker 6 (25:39):
Boy, I'll tell you about next week's guy, and I
remind you that next Sunday only quiet Plays will be
heard at three study pre in standard time.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Two hours earlier than years ago. I hope you'll listen
to the guy I had for him about the big guy.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm so unhill next week at the same time, I
am quietly or Burtis Chapel
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