October 3, 2025 • 28 mins
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James is not a therapist, but you’re not alone. If you're in crisis, call 988 for professional help.
For non-emergencies, Psychology Today can connect you with support and therapists who fit your needs.
This podcast and CLW Studios content are not therapy or a substitute for it. Guest opinions are their own.
We're here for insight and encouragement but always seek professional support when needed.
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Take care of yourself, take care of each other, and breathe!
❤️🍊🟨💚💙💜🟤🖤❕❕ 🌹🧡🟡🌳🔷🟪🤎🖤❔
Got something on your mind? James never runs out of things to say, so tell us what you want to discuss!
Remember there is no shame in joy or for asking for what you need.
Leave a review, send us a screenshot, and we’ll mail you a sticker! See you next FRIDAY for another dose of Radical Joy.
James is not a therapist, but you’re not alone. If you're in crisis, call 988 for professional help.
For non-emergencies, Psychology Today can connect you with support and therapists who fit your needs.
This podcast and CLW Studios content are not therapy or a substitute for it. Guest opinions are their own.
We're here for insight and encouragement but always seek professional support when needed.
This episode was Produced and edited by Kerri J of CLW Studios
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The more people I meet in the more places that
I go, the more I realize how important it is
to let people aware of the fact that there is
no shame in enjoying the.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Parts of your life.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
They're incredible. It almost feels as though there is a
stigma to enjoying the very full life, living by example
and praising when other people choose to live fully because
their lives are still on a good path. Getting to
do that with people is what makes me feel incredible.
I have an unlimited supply of resource and energy for
someone who is truly on a path to find their
(00:32):
own joy and to become as much as they can
be in the time they've been given. Follow me to
radical Joy Moments of wisdom, wonder and hope with James Bullard. Hey, friends,
welcome's radical Joy with James Bullard.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm curious out there, how many of you are familiar
with the myth of Icarus and Dayless Dayless, the famous
inventor and his son Icarus. They were imprisoned in elaborate
with a half bull half man creature known as the Minotaur. Well,
it got un to the point where it was either
escaped the labyrinth or be eaten by the minotaur. Datalus,
the famous inventor, of course, uses his genius and his
(01:11):
skill to form two pairs of wings so that he
and his son might be lifted out of the labyrinth
and save them from the minotaur fashion of wax and feathers.
Before they took flight, Daalus turns to his son and says, Icarus,
He says, the only thing that you must remember, never
fly too close to the sun. That's the only thing
you have to do. So they take flight, They take wing,
(01:34):
they leave the labyrinth, and this incredible exhilaration overcomes Icarus,
and of course, what's the first thing he does. He
climbs higher and higher into the heavens, with Daedalus far
behind him, saying, no Sun, please, you're going too high.
You're getting too close to the Sun. I promise he
can only lead to misery and pain. The Icarus, in
his ecstasy, cannot even fathom staying closer to this earth
(01:58):
than is absolutely necessary, and he continues to climb higher
and higher. The wings get closer and closer to the Sun.
The wax melts, the feathers fall off. Icarus plummets to
his death in the sea below. Now, for a long
time it was presented as a parable of in Australian culture.
I think they call it a tall poppy syndrome. What
if you think you're yourself a little bit more highly
then you probably ought there will be someone there to
(02:20):
take you down a notch or two just to make
sure you don't get too big for your breeches. You know,
on first inspection, that seems like a really good idea,
that seems like a very clear interpretation of what this
story is. But now, in a few years of wisdom
and introspection behind me, I'm curious if that is really
what it is that we're supposed to see whenever you
take a moment just to turn this jewel over in
this beautiful layer of storytelling and legend to find out
(02:41):
if that's really what we need to look at today
in twenty twenty two. Is it a tale of warning?
Is it a cautionary tale saying well, if you get
too big for your breeches, eventually it could lead to
your demise, or to repose this story in just a
slightly different way. Icarus was given the world literally the
most incredible gift he could ever hope to ask for.
He was given the power of flow whenever. Up to
(03:01):
that point, the only creatures in the world known for
that were, of course, you know, the birds of the heavens,
the insects that could actually have the gift of flight.
He was literally given anything in everything. Man had wished
for this since the dawn of time, since being able
to lay eyes upon these beautiful creatures of the heavens,
and he was literally given it on a platter. Not
only was he given it, he was encouraged to use
(03:22):
it to save himself from the danger that clearly posed
a threat. He was given this incredible gift with only
one specific rule or restriction, don't fly too close to
the sun. Now, my question is this was this appearable
of warning and caution in the fact that don't try
to reach higher than where you are, or was it
you have literally been giving this beautiful array of gifts
(03:46):
and talents and the only thing I want you to
do is make sure that you don't hurt yourself for others.
And I can't help thinking as though maybe I lean
in my later years more toward that explanation of this
beautiful story, because it's always been one of my absolute favorites.
I can't imagine something more exhilarating than in being able
to overcome gravity on your own exercise. But of course
(04:09):
there's always that warning, that threat, that individual shadow over
this glorious feeling and sensation of flight. And I can't
help but feel that there are a lot of voices
in our lives that are very similar to that. It's like, well,
don't reach too high, don't try too hard, don't dream
too big, because if you do, that can only lead
you to ruin. And my thought is this, instead of
(04:30):
thinking of it exactly like that. Honestly, that's human nature.
I think that really comes along very often to dissuade
people from reaching their full potential. It's so so much
easier to settle for mediocre or just fairly good than
it is to really bust your hump and go after excellence.
Given the intellect, the resource, the incredible technology that we
(04:54):
have at our hands and disposal today, I'm just curious
if this is the way we need to look at
this tale any longer. You've literally been given the world,
You've been given all this incredible opportunity to do these
amazing things, as long as you don't use it to
hurt yourself for others, Why are you not exercising it
to the fullest extent possible? And I thought that was
just an incredible way to look at this. And it
(05:16):
all came out of a dressing room conversation We're having
before a show. My guys and I are chatt and
we're having a really nice time. We're getting into our suits,
and that story came up, and it was funny to
me because I was like, I had to do this
as a role in college. It was an original show
that we got to perform by university, and I loved it.
I got to play the role of Icarus. And so
in that homework and in that work to get ready,
to prepare for the role, you had to do a
(05:37):
lot of study on this, not only for the background
of the character and the myth and the legend itself,
but also in how you would feel, how you'd bring
those attitudes, those perspectives to the stage to make this unbelievable,
fully formed, fleshed care And it wasn't until flash forward
several years later that I looked at that as not
necessarily something that's like, well, if you try too hard,
if you do what your parents don't tell you to do,
(05:57):
you could end up in a lot of trouble. And
I know that a lot of our fables and fairy
tales have very strong roots and something like that they're
made to scare children into obedience. And now that I
no longer need that structure, that guideline, that restriction, where
it's more of a fact, like, how can I, as
an adult, a creative, caring, loving, always hoping to be
better and growing for myself and others, adult and fully
(06:19):
functioning member of society, how do I change that so
that I'm no longer trying to kowtow to the women
caprice of authority, but instead take all these incredible gifts
that I've been given and try to make something more
of it for my own life. And that would be
what I would think. It's one of those things like no, no, no.
I was given the world, and the only thing that
I was asked to do in exchange for all these
incredible gifts was to make sure that what I did
(06:39):
was there to help people. Yes, it's a huge plus
for me. I enjoy incredibly full life. I have amazing friends,
I've been to so many incredible places. My life experience
continues to enrich my perspectives and my outlooks on my
day to day life. No matter where I am or
how long I live, I am fortunate beyond measure to
have in my life what I have in my life.
And before. There are some things that we need to unlearn.
(07:01):
As a child, you need to know certain things just
to make sure that you stay out of trouble, to
make sure that you don't hurt yourself, to make sure
that you don't lead others astray and get them hurt.
But now that we're all adults and we're trying to
make our own way as adults, fully grown, mostly thinking people,
we can start to look at these things just a
little bit differently. We can start to take these perspectives
newer and fresher. And what we can do is try
(07:22):
to sort of turn those over so instead of it
being a tail that encourages or promotes fear or tries
to keep us within lines, what we can do flip
the script just a little bit, put it on a
one eighty. I've been given all of these things, whether
that is talent and music, or a gift for communication,
or you have a tendency to bring your people together
(07:42):
and make sure they know what they share so that
they can become better friends. There are so many gifts
that are available to so many of us that instead
of trying to hide those things in order not to
appear more or I hate the word conceded, but it
just seems like one of those things where everyone seems
to sort of skew to the fact that they don't
necessarily they want to stand out. They want to be
part of a crowd, they want to be part of
(08:02):
a group or a tribe. That's wonderful, but I think
that what folks are missing is that most of the
tribes that were the most successful the ones who had
the most diverse activity and talent in the group. And
so that's what I continue to marvel at, that the
fact that what was once something that was used to
sort of stifle has become something that has become to
cultivate a sense of uniqueness, a sense of different a
(08:25):
sense of grandiosity, if you will excuse this giant word
that I probably just sort of kind of made up.
It's one of those things where you don't need to
worry about things like that any longer. And if you
notice whenever you are accomplishing something and that's the thing.
We continue this tiny wind idea, and I love it.
It's absolutely fantastic accomplishments in your life. Do not have
to be ten feet tall, bulletproof and ready to jump
(08:48):
any building in a single bound. Some days it's going
to be as easy as getting up, doing the full floss,
mouth wash and brush of the teeth, making sure you
walk out the door with hair combed and both socks matching.
It really just becomes what it is that you've done
today to make sure that you continue with that momentum,
that forward motion. It's one of those things where you
don't have to reach the pinnacle of humanity, much like
(09:10):
Chorist did, only to be burned and crashed into the
ocean to a watery, fiery demise. What it is is
today I flew a little higher. Today, I walked a
little taller. Today I was able to accomplish these things.
Even though I was met with this adversity or this obstacle.
I continued to move. I continue to make progress in
my day because not every day is going to be
(09:30):
a mile, not every day is going to be a marathon.
Some days it's literally step step, pause, and that is okay.
What we continue to do here is just to make
sure that you know, every progress, no matter how great
or small, is still some kind of motion. And that's
all I ask. That's all we gotta do around here.
I am so lucky to meet so many amazing people
whenever we meet, and I tend to sort of ramp
(09:51):
up as the conversation continues, and I would apologize for it,
but I think that would come from an inauthentic and
insincere place, because I really enjoy it. I enjoy getting
to meet strangers and listening to what it is that
they're saying to me, and then also listening to what
it is that they're really saying when they say these
kinds of things. I've got a good buddy, and he's
always talking to me about these things. And whenever he
is fearful, he uses the word super a lot. Boonard,
(10:12):
I'm really this is really weird for me. Great, Okay,
this is clearly something unusual. It's in an uncomfortable place
for him. Butard, I'm really feeling super weird about this. Okay.
Now he's uncomfortable and he's afraid, and it's interesting to
tune into those kinds of little nuances, those little idiosyncrasies
that you get familiar with by knowing someone so well,
and it's enjoyable, and sometimes you can find that right away.
(10:35):
People want to think themselves so incredibly intricate and beautiful
and wonderful, and in respect they are. Every single one
of us is a delicate, delightful fingerprint, each one of
us with whirls and swirls that are unique to our
own individual human person. And then in other ways we
are so alike it is almost comical to watch because
we get off on a tangent. We find something that
makes us afraid or hesitant or fearful, and what we
(10:58):
do is we start to cover for it very poorly.
And it's not that I'm making fun of anyone for that,
because I'm just as guilty as anyone. The fun part
is watching them overcome it, and a really satisfying part
of my life is helping them to overcome it. Now,
I'm not anybody qualified or credentialed to do any of
these sort of things on a professional level. What I
am is a guy with a lot of life experience
(11:20):
and a really diverse friends group, and they're from all
over the world. So watching people who may not use
English as a first language try to communicate these very
complex feelings. It's interesting the words they use, the language
they use whenever. They may not confonate that completely in
the way that they wish they could, but the body
language and the subconscious that is there to communicate these things,
(11:41):
it's so very clear. And it's fun because even though
I will speak with friends who do speak English as
a first language sometimes and they have these very similar
mannerisms that are their tell almost straight out the gate.
And it's really so very enjoyable to watch these things
happen because they think they're being so slick with it
or they've got it. You know, they're handling it, they're
working through it, whatever it is. And quite frankly, kids,
I don't mean to everybody to know you don't. None
(12:03):
of us do hardly. Ever, now you may be able
to hand a lot of it. And my hat's off
to those of you out there who think you can
and are doing your dead level best to do that.
Every day I journal. Some of my friends go to therapy,
some others have amazing interpersonal relationships that they share with
their partners or their families, things like that, and I
think that all of these things are a wonderful resource
(12:24):
for getting through whatever it is that's on your mind
or your heart. But the thing is, you often need
a mirror or a sounding board or someone to really
show you exactly what it is that you're dealing with
for you're able to do that effectively. And okay, that's
that's fine, Honestly it is. It's just one of those
things where if you're anything like me, and for some
of you, I hope that is true, and for some
(12:46):
of you guys like, well, please don't because sometimes I
get your real messy over here. But it's one of
those things where like, okay, how do we look at this,
how do we turn this up on it so here?
How do we find something better from this? How do
I become better from this? Every time I write in
my journal, there are some things that are always in there.
How do I get better? How am I more helpful
(13:06):
to me? How am I more helpful to others? And
it's not from a selfish standpoint. I don't think you know,
I don't know the ins and outs of all this,
and I would. I'm sure there's someone out there much
more educated than I am in these entire situations that
would be like, oh no, you're absolutely It's like, okay, great,
But I do feel incredible whenever I'm able to speak
with someone and sort of listen to what it is
(13:28):
they have to say, try to send it back to
them in the words that I'm hearing them say that,
maybe put it through the filter of my banjo plucking
mouth and see if it's something that's able to help them.
It's really interesting whenever someone's problem comes out of my
mouth and then that way they can tell me like, well, no,
that's not exactly it, or yeah, that's very close, or
(13:50):
oh my gosh, yeah that's exactly it. I said, great, perfect,
Now what do we do about it? And by we,
I mean you, what do you do about it? Because
this is not something that I can do for you.
I can help you with this, I can listen to you,
but we can move forward with it. But it's I
don't know, It's just one of those things. If you
could see me. Project is launching several new initiatives over
(14:12):
the next few months, and I am looking for one
hundred cheerleaders willing to contribute five dollars a month, just
sixty dollars a year to support the sustainability and accessibility
of our programs, people who will think of us as
resources for education, creative expression, healing and connection around issues
of mental health, personal narrative, storytelling, and self advocacy to
(14:33):
help us keep all of our programming accessible for everyone.
Mental health care and healing is about more than therapy.
Access to opportunities for healing, education, exploration, and connection. We
offer for free or reduced rate at IF you Could
See Me has changed many lives over the years, and
we know we can do more with your help. There's
(14:54):
so much more where that came from. With a support
of family and friends like you, I know we can
continue all the current programs and projects and help many
more people in the process. You are vital to the
If you Could See Me Project. Your financial and emotional
support is necessary for our continued success. Stay in the
loop as things grow and new programs arise. Please consider
(15:16):
lending your support. If you're in click the I Want
to be a Cheerleader link in the episode notes and
pick your bomb pops. If you have questions, it would
prefer to donate in another way, reach out and let
us know. I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Much love and gratitude from me and the entire if
you could see me project family. There are so many
(15:36):
things that could be so easy, and because they're so easy,
we don't give them the weight and the merit that
they deserve. Getting out of bed in the morning, making
coffee for you, making coffee for your partner, starting their
day off on a great note, as well as your own.
There are so many tiny things that we take for granted.
A drop of water in the bottom of a glass
doesn't look like it's going to do mine, But you
combine that with several others or hundreds of others, teeny steps,
(16:01):
teeny gestures, small amounts, small quantities, and everything. Eventually it's
done something that you can do something with that. And
it's not that you can only celebrate once you have
enough to drink. You can celebrate the fact that the
glass is filling from the small gestures. I've made a
really good new buddy over the last couple of weeks
and getting to know him and talk to him about
what's going through his life, his financial and savings life
(16:22):
is just ridiculous. It was so great, and then we'll
go out. He took me on three dinners in one
night because we were just going to hang out or whatever.
We went to an Argentinian steakhouse where we had two
infinatas and three state and he's like, oh, that was nice,
Now I want to go to it, Like, oh, there's more, okay, great,
So we'll go to this place called Manzoo. Walk in
the front door. It's a gorgeous Italian hole in the
wall where the beautiful singer is the wife of the
(16:44):
owner chef and as so as we walk in, he
comes out from behind the kitchen because he sees my buddy.
He's like, oh my gosh, we haven't Tenian so long.
It's nice to see you. The whole thing, shakes my hand,
gives me to kiss on the face, grabs him by
the back of the neck. So happy to see you.
From there, we have like a whole roast chicken, more food,
let's go, and couple of cocktails. We enjoy this beautiful
evening until we shut down the bar and then he's like,
now I want to take you to my favorite sushi
(17:05):
plays like more okay. So like I needed to go
home and rub my belly. But it was incredible because
someone who is truly living fully in so many areas
of his life, he don't see that like some people
always give it a lot of weight in one or another,
but they don't really pass out a lot of balance.
And he's got a lot of that. But his romantic life,
he's been with this woman for ten years and it's
just he keeps telling me these things. And I just
(17:26):
looked across the table and I was like, Buddy, I
hope you're okay with me saying this. Said you're not
in a relationship. She's keeping you around just for entertainment,
and now that you're getting to an age where you're
going to start wising up to that, she wants you
to marry her. Please don't. That's so far outside my lane.
Please don't marry this woman. She's ten years older than him,
she's got a kid. He is all ready to give
her all the love, all the things, and she's just
(17:46):
like until she realizes that his thirty fifth birthday's come up.
She's like, oh, I should probably lock this down before
he realizes this is not all it's cracked up to be.
He and I worked on a lot of things, and
I help him with the stuff in there, and he
talks to me about fitness and finances and all he's
doing with like his stock trading and say and that
sort of thing. And he takes me all these incredible
places here in town. He's like, We're going to Caesar's
one day. It's like, all right, We've got a man
(18:07):
spa date. He's like, cause, Caesar's has this really great
spa that's like very specifically gentleman oriented. And then there's
a topless beach off to the side. He says, well,
we can sit there with our dark glasses and drink cocktail. Michael,
Positivity comes in a lot of different colors. It comes
in a lot of different levels. That's the thing that
I want to make sure that I get across.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
More than anything.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I am a lot to take I am bombastic, I
am enthusiastic. I talk incessantly. I get very excited about
good things. And I want to be incredibly empathetic and
walk on a parallel course with my friends whenever we're going.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Through something awful.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But the thing that comes in through all of this
is the fact that in every life experience, whether incredibly good,
incredibly bad, or somewhere in between, there is something to
be taken from that.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
They can make my life more rich.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
They can make my life more important, influential not only
to how I live my life, but how I continue
to live my life as part of the lives of others.
My friends are amazing people. They are an eclectic group
of performers and educators and healthcare givers and so many
(19:19):
different walks of life. And the reason I love this
eclectic group of people is because they all bring something
so interesting and unique to the formula whenever we all
get together. And the thing that I love about spending
time with them is because their challenges and their achievements
are all so wildly different, and because I will never
know the feeling of saving someone's life. It's so nice
(19:43):
to be able to speak with someone and really get
to the crux of what it is that makes that
so incredible for them, and also sometimes help them flesh
it out, because if you do that every.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Day, you sort of lose the miraculousness of it.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And so what I want to do in keeping those
kind of people around me is that whenever they start
to realize that something is just a matter of course
for them, that know, in the lives of others who
don't do that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
On a normal, regular basis, that's really something very.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Special, And I think that's what we're losing in a
lot of the way that we live our lives these days,
is that we don't realize just how special each contribution
is to the conversation. And so part of what I
like to do is make sure that whenever people come
to me and they say, well, this happened today, but
they sort of try to downplay it, or they sort
of talk to like mumble or taper at the end
(20:30):
of a comment or conversation. Do you ever notice that
you have friends like that that they'll start to sort
of like the trail off whenever they get to the
end of a phrase or sentence, I'm like, wait, wait,
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
What was that? And that's usually where it is, like
the good part.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
We continue to try to hide it or sort of
like downplay it so we don't get this feeling of
haughtiness or overconfidence, like no, no, no, no, no, that's what
we need. That's the part that needs like if you
want to taper up, get after it. That's where we
need to know it. Because I think that a lot
of us are.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Sort of struggling in trying to find.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That special in our lives, because we've been at a
very calm monotone for so long that whenever we start.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
To do a little bit of the wave, we get
a little bit motion sick.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So what I want to do is make sure that
I encourage my friends and anybody that's around to share
those things that make their experience uniquely incredible so that
we can all benefit from it.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Because right now we've got more than enough awful.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
What I need is a solidly confident fantastic so that
whenever I celebrate.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
That I don't feel.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Ashamed that I have something to feel good about because
it's not necessarily something that originates in my life, but
in the lives of the people around me. And so
in that way, we can all sort of elevate ourselves
and we don't have to worry about just sinking into the.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Mire of what may be happening around us.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yes, take your time, feel it deeply, get angry, get sad,
get despondent, but then take those beautiful colors and.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Debths of emotions and move forward with it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Try to figure out what it is about that situation
that you can apply to your own life to make
it better, richer, deeper, stronger, and then that way it
can help all of us do better. Can I ask
a favor of everybody right now? It's really easy, honest
to God, it's really super simple. If someone has done
something for you or to you around you, something you've
seen them do, and it touched you like it moved you.
(22:26):
It literally took you from a place if here, to
say here or even higher. Please put a pin in that.
Remind yourself to tell that person, maybe not exactly at
that moment, but soon and continually how much of a
difference that made to them in their lives. So they
always speaking with a friend of mine that I haven't
seen in years, you know, the pandemic made it difficult
(22:47):
to really see anybody and everybody for a long time,
and now we live on opposite sides of the country.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Well, I was telling him.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I was like, you remember that day that we were
at the restaurant and I hugged you and you were
in such a place that you just held on and
you cried on my shoulder. Said, that was the day
that I knew you and I were friends. That was
the day that I knew that we were safe enough
to each other that you felt comfortable enough doing that
with me, and I felt comfortable enough holding on to
(23:12):
you until you were able to get that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Off your chest. I can't tell you the kind of
gift that is to someone.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Whenever you tell them these kinds of things, people don't
get to hear that nearly enough. Either they are too
afraid or too hesitant to be vulnerable like that with
each other. I honestly don't know what it is, but
it was one of those things where once it can hurt. Honestly,
if someone important in your life, especially someone as close
as this person is to me, at least, I feel
(23:42):
why would you not share that sort of thing with them?
It's really so simple, And the whole thing took maybe
twenty thirty seconds.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And that's me talking as much as I do. It
was important to me to.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Tell him, and I could tell by the quiet on
the other end of.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
The phone that it was important to him. And the
thing is a coustion.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
It costs you an extra half a minute to tell
someone what specifically they did for you, to let them know,
to let you know that you were important or special
or revered or whatever honorable adjective that is.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Please take that moment to do that, because not only
is could it be a high point in their week
or even month, or maybe even longer. That feeling they're
gonna take with them is going to influence all of
their interactions for.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
The rest of this day.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Do not underestimate the power of a kind word or
the memory that you can put forward to someone to
let them know why they're special to you, how they're
special to you.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
In a specific example of that.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
The specificity in that alone was so important because I
can remember the restaurant, I can remember the location.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I even remember what he.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Was wearing whenever he ran up to the place, and
the fact that he came inside. We started, you know,
business as usual, but then things got really important. And
whenever thing's got important, when everything's got quiet, whenever thing's
got really down to the nitty gritty, that is the
point that was a defining moment in our relationship. And
(25:12):
then I was able to relay that to him and
tell him how important it was. I have no doubt
that for the rest of this day it's going to
carry him in a much higher place. He's going to
be in a happier mindset and just a generally more
open hearted carriage, and so I want to make sure
that I encourage all of us to do that, not
just me, but all of us.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Does just take that moment to.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Make sure that the important people in our lives and
the people who we'd love to see the important people
in our lives know how great that was when it happened.
Love you, guys, Hope you have a great day. There
is no shame and joy if things are going well
in your life and your relationships and your job, in
your fitness journey, no matter what it is, no matter
how blieved the world tells us our outlook may be,
(25:56):
there is always a reason to celebrate and to adjust perspectives.
You may include others so that they can share in
your good fortunes. That is something we need to remind
ourselves as we pursue our own joy and accomplishment. Providing
light for others is part of our own journey. The
path is lit by others. We cannot make enough light
on our own to see exactly where we're going at
(26:17):
every moment and every step. Celebrating your victories does not
negate someone else's struggle. If you're experiencing a mental health emergency,
please Homeline one one. This content and other content produced
by the If you Could See The Project and affiliated partners,
is not therapy, not intended to be therapy, or to
be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this content creates
(26:39):
or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist
or seek one in your area if you are experiencing
mental health symptoms. Nothing in this episode should be construed
to be specific life advice. It is for educational and
entertainment purposes. Only. Join us next time for more of
Radical Joy, Moments of Wisdom, Wonder and Hope with James
Bullard and Hey, if you like what you heard today,
(27:02):
follow and like us, give us a five star review
and let us know what you think. Learn more and
join our mailing list at www dot if you Could
See Me dot com for updates, Like and follow us
on Facebook at iy CSM, on Instagram at the If
you Could See Me Project, and on TikTok at if
you Could See Me. Also, if you like what you
(27:22):
heard today, you can follow me James Bullard on my
personal website www dot James E. Bullard dot com
The more people I meet in the more places that
I go, the more I realize how important it is
to let people aware of the fact that there is
no shame in enjoying the.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Parts of your life.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
They're incredible. It almost feels as though there is a
stigma to enjoying the very full life, living by example
and praising when other people choose to live fully because
their lives are still on a good path. Getting to
do that with people is what makes me feel incredible.
I have an unlimited supply of resource and energy for
someone who is truly on a path to find their
(00:32):
own joy and to become as much as they can
be in the time they've been given. Follow me to
radical Joy Moments of wisdom, wonder and hope with James Bullard. Hey, friends,
welcome's radical Joy with James Bullard.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm curious out there, how many of you are familiar
with the myth of Icarus and Dayless Dayless, the famous
inventor and his son Icarus. They were imprisoned in elaborate
with a half bull half man creature known as the Minotaur. Well,
it got un to the point where it was either
escaped the labyrinth or be eaten by the minotaur. Datalus,
the famous inventor, of course, uses his genius and his
(01:11):
skill to form two pairs of wings so that he
and his son might be lifted out of the labyrinth
and save them from the minotaur fashion of wax and feathers.
Before they took flight, Daalus turns to his son and says, Icarus,
He says, the only thing that you must remember, never
fly too close to the sun. That's the only thing
you have to do. So they take flight, They take wing,
(01:34):
they leave the labyrinth, and this incredible exhilaration overcomes Icarus,
and of course, what's the first thing he does. He
climbs higher and higher into the heavens, with Daedalus far
behind him, saying, no Sun, please, you're going too high.
You're getting too close to the Sun. I promise he
can only lead to misery and pain. The Icarus, in
his ecstasy, cannot even fathom staying closer to this earth
(01:58):
than is absolutely necessary, and he continues to climb higher
and higher. The wings get closer and closer to the Sun.
The wax melts, the feathers fall off. Icarus plummets to
his death in the sea below. Now, for a long
time it was presented as a parable of in Australian culture.
I think they call it a tall poppy syndrome. What
if you think you're yourself a little bit more highly
then you probably ought there will be someone there to
(02:20):
take you down a notch or two just to make
sure you don't get too big for your breeches. You know,
on first inspection, that seems like a really good idea,
that seems like a very clear interpretation of what this
story is. But now, in a few years of wisdom
and introspection behind me, I'm curious if that is really
what it is that we're supposed to see whenever you
take a moment just to turn this jewel over in
this beautiful layer of storytelling and legend to find out
(02:41):
if that's really what we need to look at today
in twenty twenty two. Is it a tale of warning?
Is it a cautionary tale saying well, if you get
too big for your breeches, eventually it could lead to
your demise, or to repose this story in just a
slightly different way. Icarus was given the world literally the
most incredible gift he could ever hope to ask for.
He was given the power of flow whenever. Up to
(03:01):
that point, the only creatures in the world known for
that were, of course, you know, the birds of the heavens,
the insects that could actually have the gift of flight.
He was literally given anything in everything. Man had wished
for this since the dawn of time, since being able
to lay eyes upon these beautiful creatures of the heavens,
and he was literally given it on a platter. Not
only was he given it, he was encouraged to use
(03:22):
it to save himself from the danger that clearly posed
a threat. He was given this incredible gift with only
one specific rule or restriction, don't fly too close to
the sun. Now, my question is this was this appearable
of warning and caution in the fact that don't try
to reach higher than where you are, or was it
you have literally been giving this beautiful array of gifts
(03:46):
and talents and the only thing I want you to
do is make sure that you don't hurt yourself for others.
And I can't help thinking as though maybe I lean
in my later years more toward that explanation of this
beautiful story, because it's always been one of my absolute favorites.
I can't imagine something more exhilarating than in being able
to overcome gravity on your own exercise. But of course
(04:09):
there's always that warning, that threat, that individual shadow over
this glorious feeling and sensation of flight. And I can't
help but feel that there are a lot of voices
in our lives that are very similar to that. It's like, well,
don't reach too high, don't try too hard, don't dream
too big, because if you do, that can only lead
you to ruin. And my thought is this, instead of
(04:30):
thinking of it exactly like that. Honestly, that's human nature.
I think that really comes along very often to dissuade
people from reaching their full potential. It's so so much
easier to settle for mediocre or just fairly good than
it is to really bust your hump and go after excellence.
Given the intellect, the resource, the incredible technology that we
(04:54):
have at our hands and disposal today, I'm just curious
if this is the way we need to look at
this tale any longer. You've literally been given the world,
You've been given all this incredible opportunity to do these
amazing things, as long as you don't use it to
hurt yourself for others, Why are you not exercising it
to the fullest extent possible? And I thought that was
just an incredible way to look at this. And it
(05:16):
all came out of a dressing room conversation We're having
before a show. My guys and I are chatt and
we're having a really nice time. We're getting into our suits,
and that story came up, and it was funny to
me because I was like, I had to do this
as a role in college. It was an original show
that we got to perform by university, and I loved it.
I got to play the role of Icarus. And so
in that homework and in that work to get ready,
to prepare for the role, you had to do a
(05:37):
lot of study on this, not only for the background
of the character and the myth and the legend itself,
but also in how you would feel, how you'd bring
those attitudes, those perspectives to the stage to make this unbelievable,
fully formed, fleshed care And it wasn't until flash forward
several years later that I looked at that as not
necessarily something that's like, well, if you try too hard,
if you do what your parents don't tell you to do,
(05:57):
you could end up in a lot of trouble. And
I know that a lot of our fables and fairy
tales have very strong roots and something like that they're
made to scare children into obedience. And now that I
no longer need that structure, that guideline, that restriction, where
it's more of a fact, like, how can I, as
an adult, a creative, caring, loving, always hoping to be
better and growing for myself and others, adult and fully
(06:19):
functioning member of society, how do I change that so
that I'm no longer trying to kowtow to the women
caprice of authority, but instead take all these incredible gifts
that I've been given and try to make something more
of it for my own life. And that would be
what I would think. It's one of those things like no, no, no.
I was given the world, and the only thing that
I was asked to do in exchange for all these
incredible gifts was to make sure that what I did
(06:39):
was there to help people. Yes, it's a huge plus
for me. I enjoy incredibly full life. I have amazing friends,
I've been to so many incredible places. My life experience
continues to enrich my perspectives and my outlooks on my
day to day life. No matter where I am or
how long I live, I am fortunate beyond measure to
have in my life what I have in my life.
And before. There are some things that we need to unlearn.
(07:01):
As a child, you need to know certain things just
to make sure that you stay out of trouble, to
make sure that you don't hurt yourself, to make sure
that you don't lead others astray and get them hurt.
But now that we're all adults and we're trying to
make our own way as adults, fully grown, mostly thinking people,
we can start to look at these things just a
little bit differently. We can start to take these perspectives
newer and fresher. And what we can do is try
(07:22):
to sort of turn those over so instead of it
being a tail that encourages or promotes fear or tries
to keep us within lines, what we can do flip
the script just a little bit, put it on a
one eighty. I've been given all of these things, whether
that is talent and music, or a gift for communication,
or you have a tendency to bring your people together
(07:42):
and make sure they know what they share so that
they can become better friends. There are so many gifts
that are available to so many of us that instead
of trying to hide those things in order not to
appear more or I hate the word conceded, but it
just seems like one of those things where everyone seems
to sort of skew to the fact that they don't
necessarily they want to stand out. They want to be
part of a crowd, they want to be part of
(08:02):
a group or a tribe. That's wonderful, but I think
that what folks are missing is that most of the
tribes that were the most successful the ones who had
the most diverse activity and talent in the group. And
so that's what I continue to marvel at, that the
fact that what was once something that was used to
sort of stifle has become something that has become to
cultivate a sense of uniqueness, a sense of different a
(08:25):
sense of grandiosity, if you will excuse this giant word
that I probably just sort of kind of made up.
It's one of those things where you don't need to
worry about things like that any longer. And if you
notice whenever you are accomplishing something and that's the thing.
We continue this tiny wind idea, and I love it.
It's absolutely fantastic accomplishments in your life. Do not have
to be ten feet tall, bulletproof and ready to jump
(08:48):
any building in a single bound. Some days it's going
to be as easy as getting up, doing the full floss,
mouth wash and brush of the teeth, making sure you
walk out the door with hair combed and both socks matching.
It really just becomes what it is that you've done
today to make sure that you continue with that momentum,
that forward motion. It's one of those things where you
don't have to reach the pinnacle of humanity, much like
(09:10):
Chorist did, only to be burned and crashed into the
ocean to a watery, fiery demise. What it is is
today I flew a little higher. Today, I walked a
little taller. Today I was able to accomplish these things.
Even though I was met with this adversity or this obstacle.
I continued to move. I continue to make progress in
my day because not every day is going to be
(09:30):
a mile, not every day is going to be a marathon.
Some days it's literally step step, pause, and that is okay.
What we continue to do here is just to make
sure that you know, every progress, no matter how great
or small, is still some kind of motion. And that's
all I ask. That's all we gotta do around here.
I am so lucky to meet so many amazing people
whenever we meet, and I tend to sort of ramp
(09:51):
up as the conversation continues, and I would apologize for it,
but I think that would come from an inauthentic and
insincere place, because I really enjoy it. I enjoy getting
to meet strangers and listening to what it is that
they're saying to me, and then also listening to what
it is that they're really saying when they say these
kinds of things. I've got a good buddy, and he's
always talking to me about these things. And whenever he
is fearful, he uses the word super a lot. Boonard,
(10:12):
I'm really this is really weird for me. Great, Okay,
this is clearly something unusual. It's in an uncomfortable place
for him. Butard, I'm really feeling super weird about this. Okay.
Now he's uncomfortable and he's afraid, and it's interesting to
tune into those kinds of little nuances, those little idiosyncrasies
that you get familiar with by knowing someone so well,
and it's enjoyable, and sometimes you can find that right away.
(10:35):
People want to think themselves so incredibly intricate and beautiful
and wonderful, and in respect they are. Every single one
of us is a delicate, delightful fingerprint, each one of
us with whirls and swirls that are unique to our
own individual human person. And then in other ways we
are so alike it is almost comical to watch because
we get off on a tangent. We find something that
makes us afraid or hesitant or fearful, and what we
(10:58):
do is we start to cover for it very poorly.
And it's not that I'm making fun of anyone for that,
because I'm just as guilty as anyone. The fun part
is watching them overcome it, and a really satisfying part
of my life is helping them to overcome it. Now,
I'm not anybody qualified or credentialed to do any of
these sort of things on a professional level. What I
am is a guy with a lot of life experience
(11:20):
and a really diverse friends group, and they're from all
over the world. So watching people who may not use
English as a first language try to communicate these very
complex feelings. It's interesting the words they use, the language
they use whenever. They may not confonate that completely in
the way that they wish they could, but the body
language and the subconscious that is there to communicate these things,
(11:41):
it's so very clear. And it's fun because even though
I will speak with friends who do speak English as
a first language sometimes and they have these very similar
mannerisms that are their tell almost straight out the gate.
And it's really so very enjoyable to watch these things
happen because they think they're being so slick with it
or they've got it. You know, they're handling it, they're
working through it, whatever it is. And quite frankly, kids,
I don't mean to everybody to know you don't. None
(12:03):
of us do hardly. Ever, now you may be able
to hand a lot of it. And my hat's off
to those of you out there who think you can
and are doing your dead level best to do that.
Every day I journal. Some of my friends go to therapy,
some others have amazing interpersonal relationships that they share with
their partners or their families, things like that, and I
think that all of these things are a wonderful resource
(12:24):
for getting through whatever it is that's on your mind
or your heart. But the thing is, you often need
a mirror or a sounding board or someone to really
show you exactly what it is that you're dealing with
for you're able to do that effectively. And okay, that's
that's fine, Honestly it is. It's just one of those
things where if you're anything like me, and for some
of you, I hope that is true, and for some
(12:46):
of you guys like, well, please don't because sometimes I
get your real messy over here. But it's one of
those things where like, okay, how do we look at this,
how do we turn this up on it so here?
How do we find something better from this? How do
I become better from this? Every time I write in
my journal, there are some things that are always in there.
How do I get better? How am I more helpful
(13:06):
to me? How am I more helpful to others? And
it's not from a selfish standpoint. I don't think you know,
I don't know the ins and outs of all this,
and I would. I'm sure there's someone out there much
more educated than I am in these entire situations that
would be like, oh no, you're absolutely It's like, okay, great,
But I do feel incredible whenever I'm able to speak
with someone and sort of listen to what it is
(13:28):
they have to say, try to send it back to
them in the words that I'm hearing them say that,
maybe put it through the filter of my banjo plucking
mouth and see if it's something that's able to help them.
It's really interesting whenever someone's problem comes out of my
mouth and then that way they can tell me like, well, no,
that's not exactly it, or yeah, that's very close, or
(13:50):
oh my gosh, yeah that's exactly it. I said, great, perfect,
Now what do we do about it? And by we,
I mean you, what do you do about it? Because
this is not something that I can do for you.
I can help you with this, I can listen to you,
but we can move forward with it. But it's I
don't know, It's just one of those things. If you
could see me. Project is launching several new initiatives over
(14:12):
the next few months, and I am looking for one
hundred cheerleaders willing to contribute five dollars a month, just
sixty dollars a year to support the sustainability and accessibility
of our programs, people who will think of us as
resources for education, creative expression, healing and connection around issues
of mental health, personal narrative, storytelling, and self advocacy to
(14:33):
help us keep all of our programming accessible for everyone.
Mental health care and healing is about more than therapy.
Access to opportunities for healing, education, exploration, and connection. We
offer for free or reduced rate at IF you Could
See Me has changed many lives over the years, and
we know we can do more with your help. There's
(14:54):
so much more where that came from. With a support
of family and friends like you, I know we can
continue all the current programs and projects and help many
more people in the process. You are vital to the
If you Could See Me Project. Your financial and emotional
support is necessary for our continued success. Stay in the
loop as things grow and new programs arise. Please consider
(15:16):
lending your support. If you're in click the I Want
to be a Cheerleader link in the episode notes and
pick your bomb pops. If you have questions, it would
prefer to donate in another way, reach out and let
us know. I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Much love and gratitude from me and the entire if
you could see me project family. There are so many
(15:36):
things that could be so easy, and because they're so easy,
we don't give them the weight and the merit that
they deserve. Getting out of bed in the morning, making
coffee for you, making coffee for your partner, starting their
day off on a great note, as well as your own.
There are so many tiny things that we take for granted.
A drop of water in the bottom of a glass
doesn't look like it's going to do mine, But you
combine that with several others or hundreds of others, teeny steps,
(16:01):
teeny gestures, small amounts, small quantities, and everything. Eventually it's
done something that you can do something with that. And
it's not that you can only celebrate once you have
enough to drink. You can celebrate the fact that the
glass is filling from the small gestures. I've made a
really good new buddy over the last couple of weeks
and getting to know him and talk to him about
what's going through his life, his financial and savings life
(16:22):
is just ridiculous. It was so great, and then we'll
go out. He took me on three dinners in one
night because we were just going to hang out or whatever.
We went to an Argentinian steakhouse where we had two
infinatas and three state and he's like, oh, that was nice,
Now I want to go to it, Like, oh, there's more, okay, great,
So we'll go to this place called Manzoo. Walk in
the front door. It's a gorgeous Italian hole in the
wall where the beautiful singer is the wife of the
(16:44):
owner chef and as so as we walk in, he
comes out from behind the kitchen because he sees my buddy.
He's like, oh my gosh, we haven't Tenian so long.
It's nice to see you. The whole thing, shakes my hand,
gives me to kiss on the face, grabs him by
the back of the neck. So happy to see you.
From there, we have like a whole roast chicken, more food,
let's go, and couple of cocktails. We enjoy this beautiful
evening until we shut down the bar and then he's like,
now I want to take you to my favorite sushi
(17:05):
plays like more okay. So like I needed to go
home and rub my belly. But it was incredible because
someone who is truly living fully in so many areas
of his life, he don't see that like some people
always give it a lot of weight in one or another,
but they don't really pass out a lot of balance.
And he's got a lot of that. But his romantic life,
he's been with this woman for ten years and it's
just he keeps telling me these things. And I just
(17:26):
looked across the table and I was like, Buddy, I
hope you're okay with me saying this. Said you're not
in a relationship. She's keeping you around just for entertainment,
and now that you're getting to an age where you're
going to start wising up to that, she wants you
to marry her. Please don't. That's so far outside my lane.
Please don't marry this woman. She's ten years older than him,
she's got a kid. He is all ready to give
her all the love, all the things, and she's just
(17:46):
like until she realizes that his thirty fifth birthday's come up.
She's like, oh, I should probably lock this down before
he realizes this is not all it's cracked up to be.
He and I worked on a lot of things, and
I help him with the stuff in there, and he
talks to me about fitness and finances and all he's
doing with like his stock trading and say and that
sort of thing. And he takes me all these incredible
places here in town. He's like, We're going to Caesar's
one day. It's like, all right, We've got a man
(18:07):
spa date. He's like, cause, Caesar's has this really great
spa that's like very specifically gentleman oriented. And then there's
a topless beach off to the side. He says, well,
we can sit there with our dark glasses and drink cocktail. Michael,
Positivity comes in a lot of different colors. It comes
in a lot of different levels. That's the thing that
I want to make sure that I get across.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
More than anything.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I am a lot to take I am bombastic, I
am enthusiastic. I talk incessantly. I get very excited about
good things. And I want to be incredibly empathetic and
walk on a parallel course with my friends whenever we're going.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Through something awful.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
But the thing that comes in through all of this
is the fact that in every life experience, whether incredibly good,
incredibly bad, or somewhere in between, there is something to
be taken from that.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
They can make my life more rich.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
They can make my life more important, influential not only
to how I live my life, but how I continue
to live my life as part of the lives of others.
My friends are amazing people. They are an eclectic group
of performers and educators and healthcare givers and so many
(19:19):
different walks of life. And the reason I love this
eclectic group of people is because they all bring something
so interesting and unique to the formula whenever we all
get together. And the thing that I love about spending
time with them is because their challenges and their achievements
are all so wildly different, and because I will never
know the feeling of saving someone's life. It's so nice
(19:43):
to be able to speak with someone and really get
to the crux of what it is that makes that
so incredible for them, and also sometimes help them flesh
it out, because if you do that every.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Day, you sort of lose the miraculousness of it.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
And so what I want to do in keeping those
kind of people around me is that whenever they start
to realize that something is just a matter of course
for them, that know, in the lives of others who
don't do that.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
On a normal, regular basis, that's really something very.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Special, And I think that's what we're losing in a
lot of the way that we live our lives these days,
is that we don't realize just how special each contribution
is to the conversation. And so part of what I
like to do is make sure that whenever people come
to me and they say, well, this happened today, but
they sort of try to downplay it, or they sort
of talk to like mumble or taper at the end
(20:30):
of a comment or conversation. Do you ever notice that
you have friends like that that they'll start to sort
of like the trail off whenever they get to the
end of a phrase or sentence, I'm like, wait, wait,
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
What was that? And that's usually where it is, like
the good part.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
We continue to try to hide it or sort of
like downplay it so we don't get this feeling of
haughtiness or overconfidence, like no, no, no, no, no, that's what
we need. That's the part that needs like if you
want to taper up, get after it. That's where we
need to know it. Because I think that a lot
of us are.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Sort of struggling in trying to find.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That special in our lives, because we've been at a
very calm monotone for so long that whenever we start.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
To do a little bit of the wave, we get
a little bit motion sick.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So what I want to do is make sure that
I encourage my friends and anybody that's around to share
those things that make their experience uniquely incredible so that
we can all benefit from it.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Because right now we've got more than enough awful.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
What I need is a solidly confident fantastic so that
whenever I celebrate.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
That I don't feel.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Ashamed that I have something to feel good about because
it's not necessarily something that originates in my life, but
in the lives of the people around me. And so
in that way, we can all sort of elevate ourselves
and we don't have to worry about just sinking into the.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Mire of what may be happening around us.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yes, take your time, feel it deeply, get angry, get sad,
get despondent, but then take those beautiful colors and.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Debths of emotions and move forward with it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Try to figure out what it is about that situation
that you can apply to your own life to make
it better, richer, deeper, stronger, and then that way it
can help all of us do better. Can I ask
a favor of everybody right now? It's really easy, honest
to God, it's really super simple. If someone has done
something for you or to you around you, something you've
seen them do, and it touched you like it moved you.
(22:26):
It literally took you from a place if here, to
say here or even higher. Please put a pin in that.
Remind yourself to tell that person, maybe not exactly at
that moment, but soon and continually how much of a
difference that made to them in their lives. So they
always speaking with a friend of mine that I haven't
seen in years, you know, the pandemic made it difficult
(22:47):
to really see anybody and everybody for a long time,
and now we live on opposite sides of the country.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Well, I was telling him.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I was like, you remember that day that we were
at the restaurant and I hugged you and you were
in such a place that you just held on and
you cried on my shoulder. Said, that was the day
that I knew you and I were friends. That was
the day that I knew that we were safe enough
to each other that you felt comfortable enough doing that
with me, and I felt comfortable enough holding on to
(23:12):
you until you were able to get that.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Off your chest. I can't tell you the kind of
gift that is to someone.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Whenever you tell them these kinds of things, people don't
get to hear that nearly enough. Either they are too
afraid or too hesitant to be vulnerable like that with
each other. I honestly don't know what it is, but
it was one of those things where once it can hurt. Honestly,
if someone important in your life, especially someone as close
as this person is to me, at least, I feel
(23:42):
why would you not share that sort of thing with them?
It's really so simple, And the whole thing took maybe
twenty thirty seconds.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And that's me talking as much as I do. It
was important to me to.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Tell him, and I could tell by the quiet on
the other end of.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
The phone that it was important to him. And the
thing is a coustion.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
It costs you an extra half a minute to tell
someone what specifically they did for you, to let them know,
to let you know that you were important or special
or revered or whatever honorable adjective that is.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Please take that moment to do that, because not only
is could it be a high point in their week
or even month, or maybe even longer. That feeling they're
gonna take with them is going to influence all of
their interactions for.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
The rest of this day.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Do not underestimate the power of a kind word or
the memory that you can put forward to someone to
let them know why they're special to you, how they're
special to you.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
In a specific example of that.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
The specificity in that alone was so important because I
can remember the restaurant, I can remember the location.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I even remember what he.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Was wearing whenever he ran up to the place, and
the fact that he came inside. We started, you know,
business as usual, but then things got really important. And
whenever thing's got important, when everything's got quiet, whenever thing's
got really down to the nitty gritty, that is the
point that was a defining moment in our relationship. And
(25:12):
then I was able to relay that to him and
tell him how important it was. I have no doubt
that for the rest of this day it's going to
carry him in a much higher place. He's going to
be in a happier mindset and just a generally more
open hearted carriage, and so I want to make sure
that I encourage all of us to do that, not
just me, but all of us.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Does just take that moment to.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Make sure that the important people in our lives and
the people who we'd love to see the important people
in our lives know how great that was when it happened.
Love you, guys, Hope you have a great day. There
is no shame and joy if things are going well
in your life and your relationships and your job, in
your fitness journey, no matter what it is, no matter
how blieved the world tells us our outlook may be,
(25:56):
there is always a reason to celebrate and to adjust perspectives.
You may include others so that they can share in
your good fortunes. That is something we need to remind
ourselves as we pursue our own joy and accomplishment. Providing
light for others is part of our own journey. The
path is lit by others. We cannot make enough light
on our own to see exactly where we're going at
(26:17):
every moment and every step. Celebrating your victories does not
negate someone else's struggle. If you're experiencing a mental health emergency,
please Homeline one one. This content and other content produced
by the If you Could See The Project and affiliated partners,
is not therapy, not intended to be therapy, or to
be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this content creates
(26:39):
or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist
or seek one in your area if you are experiencing
mental health symptoms. Nothing in this episode should be construed
to be specific life advice. It is for educational and
entertainment purposes. Only. Join us next time for more of
Radical Joy, Moments of Wisdom, Wonder and Hope with James
Bullard and Hey, if you like what you heard today,
(27:02):
follow and like us, give us a five star review
and let us know what you think. Learn more and
join our mailing list at www dot if you Could
See Me dot com for updates, Like and follow us
on Facebook at iy CSM, on Instagram at the If
you Could See Me Project, and on TikTok at if
you Could See Me. Also, if you like what you
(27:22):
heard today, you can follow me James Bullard on my
personal website www dot James E. Bullard dot com
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