Moderation Nation: Where Grit Meets Grace

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello, friends, So happy to have you here with me
today at Radical Joint. If you've even here before, welcome back.
If this is your first time with me, well I'm
glad you're here. Each week, i'm here with you talking
to myself about things that weigh on my mind and heart,
hoping if you're dealing with something similar, we can adjust
our perspectives as you listen. Hey, if you're struggling with
something that needs immediate attention, please know that help is available.

(00:34):
Just on nine eight eight nationwide in the US to
reach the Mental Health and Suicide Crisis Hotline. All of
us here at COLW Studios believe that mental health is
a vital part of our well being. The more people
I meet and the more places I go, the more
I realize how important it is to make people aware
of the fact that there is no shame in enjoying

(00:56):
the parts of our lives that are incredible. It's time
for some radical joy, and this week, the three fingers
pointing back at me are for moderation and finding a
way to get more of it into my life. I
find myself to be a creature of excess. I don't
think this should come as a surprise to anyone as

(01:16):
often as we talk about things like abundance whenever we
sit down together for a weekly chat, so it shouldn't
really shock me whenever I realize that perhaps Moderation and
I don't know each other as well as we probably should.

(01:37):
There are times that I think that it is a
very useful skill to have. Example, I often love to
go to a place like TJ. Max. They have that
wonderful section usually at the back of the store that's
got all those delicious little treats. They've got the fancy
mixed nuts, and they've got like the Bahcleva, and then
they have all of these wonderful things like even stroap vaffel,

(02:00):
these sorts of businesses, and I just love the ooh,
you want to know the one I love the best.
I just absolutely dig it down to the middle of
my being. Those caramels, those sea salt caramels that are
covered in dark chocolate. You can get a whole flipping

(02:20):
bag of one of those for like four bucks. Okay,
now here's the thing. You can either open that bag,
remove one or two, give yourself a sweet little treat,
get yourself a little jolt to get you through your afternoon.
And on with the rest of your evening, and you know,
probably be just fine. If you look on the back

(02:43):
of the bag, they are usually serving suggestions for those
kinds of things. Well, you know, a serving is this
much weight of this product, meaning usually two to three pieces.
Fantastic question, How any of us actually remove that small
serving that they have suggested in the bag? Then seal

(03:07):
the bag and put it away, either in the cabinet
or in the fridge, depending on how hot it is outside.
Fridge is probably a better option. Enjoy the treat as suggested,
and then go on with your lives, and in the
air wonderful, all of y'all can just go on about
your super cool lives, eating only what the package suggested

(03:30):
and only taking in X number of calories, like the
good little boys and girls you are. I often will
sit there and I will think of things. I will
be upset, I will ruminate on the things that bother
me or pester me, or get under my skin or
my nails, or just under the dentin of my teeth,

(03:53):
and I will eat mindlessly until that bag is empty.
Now is this the end of the world, of course not.
Is this indirect conflict with many of the goals I
have set for myself to eat better, to take better
care of the temple, to feed it fresh fruits and
vegetables and lean meats and clean carbohydrates and things like that. Yes,

(04:14):
is it in direct conflict with my fitness goals? Also yes?
Does it taste really really good? Also yes, this is
a time where we have to take into consideration what
it is we want to restrict and perhaps find other
avenues where we can exercise and enjoy this wild abandon

(04:37):
this unlimited supply that will continue to support the goals
that we've put in front of ourselves to achieve in
the time that we've been left, whether it is weeks
from now, whenever we need this by a certain deadline,
or by the time that we shuffle off this mortal
coil and head onto whatever is next for all of us.

(04:58):
I love that my life has taken a little bit
of a different turn of late, in the fact that
moderation and I have found one another, We've been able
to become better friends in this era of my life.
Number One, I don't go in and I don't buy
those kinds of things anymore. I don't suffer from the

(05:22):
kind of ill at ease situations as much anymore. So
I don't need that bandage. I don't need that quick fix,
that jolt to make me feel better anymore. Now I
took steps, I made moves, I did things to put
myself in a more solid feeling place in my life.

(05:42):
And now, whenever I look at things like that, it's
so much easier just to say no, thank you. I
never thought i'd be able to reach this moment. I'll
be honest. I thoroughly enjoyed my little sweet treats, my
sweet treats, and I still do. Don't get me wrong,
I really do. It's just that whenever you put yourself
in a mindset, whenever you really lock in on whatever

(06:03):
it is that you're truly trying to accomplish in the
very brief amount of time you've set aside for yourself
to get it done, you have to make more disciplined decisions.
I'm trying really hard not to say anything like good
or bad, because I don't think it really comes down
to that. I think it just comes down to whether
or not they support the things you want to do,
whether or not they move me closer to my goals. Now,

(06:26):
one thing that I've learned of late is that I
have made relationships with people who are amazing at what
they do, which is no surprise. I've done that over
and over and over again in this later part of
my life, and it's been hugely helpful. It's also been

(06:48):
very painful. Growth does not come without pain, and I've
been focused so hard on my growth sometimes it borders
on the edge of masochism. And I had this conversation
with some friends as well. It's like, I feel as
though I put myself in a place where I am
among such excellent human beings that the growth that I

(07:10):
have to accomplish in order to feel as though I'm
in a similar circle with these people completely self inflicted.
Just so we are abundantly clear on that whole situation.
It often hurts significantly, like it hurts whenever I can't

(07:31):
learn something as quickly, whether it's a new skill, a
new language, get through a book, or finish something that
I'm writing in a timely fashion according to my own
arbitrary deadlines. It comes in the fact of not being
able to complete a workout to my particular standard. Something

(07:52):
that's written on the board is made for people who
are of a greater fitness level than I cool again,
you can't grow if you don't continue to push yourself.
We have a thing in a lot of the fitness
circles where I run. It's a progressive overload. You have
to continue adding more and more weight. You have to

(08:13):
continue pushing yourself past the boundaries of what you knew
you could do before in order to continue gaining strength
or muscle mass or both. Whatever it is your goals are,
you have to assess those situations pretty frequently as well.
Am I eating enough? Am I getting enough rest? Is
this enough water? Have I given myself proper intervals between sets? Like?

(08:33):
There are just so many things that play into it,
and it's the idea of moderation in many of these
things seems counterintuitive to a lot of these things that
we want to do. We continue to work, and we
work hard to achieve these goals, and after a while
you've got that diminishing return moment where you just got

(08:54):
to have to give yourself some space and some time
to sort of digest and incorporate what it is that
you've done toward what it is you want to accomplish,
so that you can just sort of like let it
all settle for a moment. Okay, moderation has never been
anything I've been really good at. I was like, okay,
if one workout today is great, two would be better. Well,

(09:17):
perhaps not. I had a couple of my coaches come
up to me at the gym and in a very quiet,
respectful way, pulled me aside and said, we noticed you've
signed up for three classes in the last twenty four hours.
You need rest in order to get everything done. And
I had to explain that it was an accident. I
signed up for one class that was waitlisted at seven pm.

(09:40):
I sign up for a class the same day at
noon because I had just finished language cafe learning in
the neighborhood at eleven thirty so I could come in
for a twelve o'clock workout a noon workout. While I
was at the noon workout, the seven pm waitlist became
a slot in the class, so I took that class
as well. And then the next more I had already

(10:00):
scheduled it an eight am class, So from noon to
seven pm to eight am, three hours of fitness in
a twenty four hour window. And they're like, that's that's
a lot, Yes, it is, Please understand it was an accident.
I don't push myself that hard. Do I want to grow? Yes?
Do I want to be better and stronger? Absolutely? Do.
I also know that I'm gonna need rest in order

(10:21):
to do that effectively. Yeah, yeah, I do so, even
though occasionally I will exceed the limits of moderation's good sense.
Sometimes you just got to do it to see if
you can do it. And here's dip I could, and
I did. You know what else? We have to keep it.
Moderation is actually moderation itself. Sometimes you just got to

(10:45):
go for broke. Sometimes you just got to drag them
at your underpants and put those balls to the wall
and do what it is you got to do. If
this course language offends you, great, I hope I rattle
your cage. I hope I get your attention. I Talking
softly is lovely, It's wonderful. What it also does it
does not light a fire. It does not motivate. Often,

(11:07):
especially whenever it comes to topics like this. There is
a time for gentle language and warmth and comfort and
things like that, and then there's a time to be warrior.
There's a time to put your gentleness aside, and there's
a time to realize that something must be done in
order to change what it is you want to change
in your life. And I continue to learn that daily,

(11:29):
just a little bit more effectively in small lessons, in
large lessons, in watching someone else royally screw the pooch,
and some days I am the one screwing aforementioned pooch.
And it's one of those things where you need to mix.
You need the mix to keep it interesting. You need

(11:50):
the mix to make sure that not every lesson has
to be learned by the hardest means possible. You need
those mixed lessons because as we age, we will become
less stupid. If you're learning anything at all, That's something
I would love everyone to really acknowledge. That's the way
I feel about it. I don't like to say older

(12:11):
and wiser. I think that sounds just a teeny bit conceited,
just a teeny tiny bit. What I would prefer to
say is I was really foolish in my youth and
it was fun and I did learn a lot. Now
that I'm older, my lessons I prefer a little kinder,
a little softer landing, if I might, because these old

(12:33):
knees just don't love it whenever we go crash into
the ground and rolling around on the dirt like they
could handle. You know, however long ago. So what I'd
like to do now is hold myself to a very
high standard. Understand that there is a time and place
for everything, including rest, relaxation, self care, all these things
that we hear that often get a certain connotation from

(12:56):
a certain group folks. I'm like, well, they can absolutely
go piss up a rope, don't care if it fits
in your program. It ain't nobody else's business. And that
goes for loved ones, spouses, partners, parents, all of them.
If they're not privy to your journey, they're not gonna
know what it is you're doing to get where you're going.

(13:19):
They can love and support you. I say this often,
and I enjoy it, which is why I continue to
repeat it. It's not my job to judge what my
friends and loved ones are doing. It is my job
to love and support. If they're doing something quote unquote wrong,
there is a way that their lives or their bodies
or whatever will give them that information. They don't need

(13:41):
that from me. They don't need me as an anchor
or a drag or a break on what it is
they're going to accomplish. What they need from me as
a cheerleader. What they need from me is unprecedented support, enthusiasm,
if reques WestEd aid an assistance, wisdom, experience. It's one

(14:07):
of those things where the older I get, the more
I realize I like my bees wax. My bees wax
is great. I have plenty to do so that I
don't have to concern myself with the wax of others. Okay, again, moderation.

(14:28):
There comes a time whenever you see loved ones, people
that are so important in our lives, that are careening
toward disaster, ponder it. Sometimes the first reaction is not
necessarily the most helpful reaction. Sometimes folks really got to

(14:49):
get skinned up before they understand that lesson. We can't
learn lessons for others. We can do our very best
to make sure that they don't make a decision or
pull some kind of shenanigan that ruins what could be
the rest of their lives. We got to ask a

(15:10):
lot of really interesting questions difficult, No, didn't say that interesting.
The older I get, the more I realize, I'm like, hey,
there's a lot of really fascinating things that I get
to witness at this stage in my life because like, ooh, yeah,
I've been there. Oo ooh girl, yeah I saw that coming.
Why didn't you say anything. It's not my job to

(15:32):
say something. It's my job to make sure I'm here
to help you pick up pieces. If for whatever reason,
you don't fly, if your nose goes down in the
dirt and you go crumple splat, well you know what,
we learned a valuable lesson today, And that limp and
that busted wing will be okay. After a while. You
will heal and you will grow back stronger. It might

(15:54):
have a little scar tissue, that's okay. It'll just make
you look that much cooler. Moderation continues to walk as
a lesson in my life because there are things that
I just do too much of, and I think that
that often comes from a place of wild insecurity. I

(16:17):
think it comes from a place of discontent, to dissatisfaction,
to just plain old unhappiness, Because if for whatever reason
something is insufficient in one area of my life, I
will work and often overdo in other areas to compensate.

(16:37):
And I need to understand that just because I work
even harder at something I already do well that is
not necessarily going to help me in a weakness of
mine to improve and strengthen and enhance that skill. We
cannot often borrow from Peter to pay Paul in that respect,

(16:58):
I don't think the karmic physics necessarily work like that.
I don't think the intellectual and academic physics work like that.
If this is more a cerebral thing that we're working on,
do you ever do that? Do you ever find yourself
like really bearing down into something unrelated to try to

(17:19):
improve yourself in another field? Example, I'm working on my
Dutch really really hard. Like I'll work on dueling Go
every morning, usually between ten and twenty minutes, depending on
whether or not the goal for that day is, you know,
twenty minutes on the app Great. I will go to
multiple Tile cafes per week, which is the language learning cafe.

(17:39):
We have volunteers here that have conversations with us, usually
you know, an elementary level, especially for them mean native speakers.
But they are educators and speech pathologists and speech therapists
who speak with us in Dutch to continue to hone
our skills in the language and though this is incredibly
helpful for me. Sometimes, whenever I need to sit down

(18:02):
with my Duolingo, what I will do instead is I
will work on perhaps Italian, or I will pull out
the Spanish portion of dual lingo, even though that is
not the language that I need the most help on.
It can always behoove to Polish. But for whatever reason,
I think, Okay, I'm gonna be working on language skills,

(18:23):
but Dutch for me right now is very difficult. So
I'm gonna work on something else instead. And all the while,
for whatever reason, in my weirdo, little twisted brain, I'm thinking,
while I'm working on language, so it's gonna like cross
communicate slash ozmos that it will also help me with

(18:43):
my Dutch on a level. It does because it gets
me out of my English brain. What it doesn't do
is necessarily move me any farther along my path with
Dutch business. Right, do you ever catch yourself doing something
like that? You're like, I know I need to do this.
I will do this in st dead that runs parallel,
and it will help me either get a running start

(19:04):
on finishing the thing that I really need to get done,
or it will at least make a justification for why
I'm not working on that, because this also needed my attention. Right,
maybe it's just me, And if it is, I one
hundred percent own that weird. That's just how it has
to be sometimes, moderation and we continue to sort of

(19:33):
wax and wane with one another, if that makes any
kind of sense. Like some days I have no problem.
Got a buddy, I eat with him pretty frequently, and
he always has a little something sweet in the fridge
or in the pantry. Always, like we kill ourselves at
the workout, we have a bite to eat, and then
at the end of the meal there's always just a
little punctuation marks. Got just a little bit a little

(19:54):
sweet trade on it? Right? Hell, yes, absolutely, yes. The
thing is I have been shown moderation in the consumption
of this. How about a square of dark chocolate at
the end of the meal? How about a couple of
these mal teasers. I love them, they're great, but there's
no reason to eat the whole damn bag in one sitting.

(20:15):
What do you mean there's no reason? What do you
mean we're leaving half the bar in the three quarters
eighty percent of the bar in the fridge or what
is even happening right now. You know why, habits forming
new ones. Learning that moderation, you can still enjoy the
treat without enjoying excessive treatage. You get the pat on

(20:40):
the head, the rub of the tummy. You just don't
have to go absolutely ape shit with it. Because moderation
is important and it transfers into all things, just like
what I was talking about earlier, these topics, these things
I need to get done. I don't do the thing.
What I do is the thing that runs parallel. Moderation
is one of those where I can learn in a

(21:02):
specific setting and then I can apply it in other situations.
It's not the same, it runs parallel, and it's important
because sometimes what we have is in short supply, and
what we want to give is more than perhaps what
we are able to give. So we have to learn

(21:24):
and apply that moderation in order to give what it
is of us that we were put on the world
to do and give, yet retain some of that stuff.
That's going to make sure that we don't give so
much of ourselves that we give out that we find
ourselves in an area of lack, where we find ourselves
in a state of being of under because that doesn't

(21:46):
help us. Giving until it hurts, no thank you, giving
until it bolsters whoever is receiving. That that's what I want.
What I want is dense, thick giving, charity, goodwill, loving,
while still maintaining more than enough for myself because it's

(22:09):
not just them. I'm here too, And learning better skills
of moderating not only helps me, it also helps other
people out there who may need something from me, are
brave enough to ask, are in my circle so that
I can see there's a need and we'll try to help.

(22:31):
And I love that. I love that opportunity. I hope
that doesn't sound a certain way whenever I say it.
I'm not trying to be some kind of like angel
of Mercy, something that you see in like a Christian
bookstore kind of thing. They're lovely, Don't get me wrong.
I think that some of the art and some of
the things they have in those places is absolutely stunning.

(22:53):
It also sometimes releases the It releases the a touch
like because the art is so pretty and the message
is so lovely, sometimes we forget that the other side
of that beauty is war. We have to come to
the table ready to fight, to help, whether it's ourselves

(23:17):
or others. It's lovely to have pretty words on the
tip of your tongue, to offer someone these these emotions
that will uplift for a time. It's a whole other
thing to come with bloody knuckles and swollen biceps because
you had to fight so hard for this person, with
this person, to make sure whatever it is that they needed,

(23:39):
that they got it. We're they capable of getting it alone.
Perhaps not. Did they ask you for assistance for that
extra nine percent? Just to put on the top. Hope,
So I hope someone loves and trust me enough to
ask that of me. What a gift, what a special,
wonderful thing. And it ain't much nine percent, man, that's

(24:08):
dropping the bucket. That's a pittance, that's absolutely nothing. It
feels enormous when you have to ask someone to help
you get there, and then when you do, it's a
whole other story. A friend of mine and I were
talking this morning. She loves her job, though sometimes it's
just difficult to get to the job. It's like the gym.

(24:31):
Sometimes I know I'm gonna feel better whenever I go
to the gym. That's where so many of my people
are that's where I kill myself to do better for myself,
to reach those goals that I set for myself, both
in sublimating difficult emotions reaching physical goals I've set for myself,

(24:52):
getting stronger, retaining the help that I want to into
the years to come, because there's still some ahead of me.
Getting there can be tough. Once there, the whole thing
just cracks open, like the biggest, most beautiful egg, and like, oh,
just the nourishment, right, Just those kind of things, And

(25:18):
it's funny moderation in those kind of things. Sometimes you
kind of have to put it to the side because
sometimes you can capitalize whenever. There are days, like any
of my fitness folks out there knows that, like you
show up to the studios, show up to the gym,
you get on your bike or you put on your
running shoes, and there are days where you could run forever.

(25:40):
There are days where the wind on your face feels
like the closest thing to Heaven you're gonna have in
this walks of life, so you just pedal for eons.
And then there are days you go to the gym
where you feel as though you're at least twenty percent strong.
You throw another plate on either side and it goes
up like butter. You're like, oh my gosh, why can't
every day be like this? And you put yourself through

(26:02):
the paces, you wear yourself slapped caduy out and it
feels amazing, and you pay for it. You pay for
it because the next day you're sore, the next day
you're exhausted, or the next day you can't even reach
your face to shave because of what you did the
day before. You have destroyed yourself in the name of

(26:22):
being better. Because some days you can moderate it and
you make smaller steps towards wherever you're headed. In other days,
it just feels so good. You're like, moderation, be damned,
We're tossing it out the window. We're doing this thing
until I absolutely give out, and then I'm gonna feed myself,
bathe myself, put myself to bed, and hope tomorrow I

(26:42):
wake up bigger, better, stronger, kind or smarter. And you
know what we often do, and I love it well.
I love it. There is a time and a place
for everything, and a time to every purpose under heaven,
and I love it. It's so interesting to watch those

(27:04):
kinds of things happen. I don't sit down to a
bag full of anything and eat anymore. I don't eat
an entire sleeve of oreos anymore. I don't eat an
entire package of throat faffel. I don't buy dates anymore
at the grocery store because those I still have a problem,
because there's a there's a conflict in my brain about dates. Kids.

(27:26):
It's not a baked good, it's a fruit. So clearly
this is good for me. Why because it's fruit, because
it came off of a tree, and it is absolutely
flipping delicious, And so what I have a kilo of
them throughout the day. I can absolutely polish off two
point two pounds of dates, Yes I can. Will there
be consequences of dire proportion when doing said yes? Knowing

(27:49):
this full well in my fully developed frontal cortex and
the rest of my firing synapsis in this beautiful brain,
I get towed around in this bucket on top of
these shoulders, knows it. And yet that's another lesson for
the moderation. But if you know yourself to be beyond

(28:12):
self regulation in certain fields, studies, whatever you want to
call it, I would recommend avoiding until you find a
way to navigate that more effectively. So that's what I do.
I just don't buy dates anymore. And if I do,
I get them in those little teeny tiny packets where

(28:32):
they might be like eight or twelve of them. Absolutely,
if I eat twelve dates in a day, sh that's
barely even a blip on the radar. If I buy
them in the larger containers, thinking I'm going to be strong,
I should probably reassess that situation. But moderation, I think,

(28:54):
is a skill that we learn, like a lot of
other things. Like it comes to it's not even necessarily
anything that you can read about or study or that
sort of thing. It's just like you can tempt yourself.
You can put yourself through those kind of paces. It
really just comes down to knowing that what you're about
to do is a choice. You either choose to do

(29:15):
this in excess and it goes against some of the
things that you had hoped to accomplish in a certain
amount of time, or you cut it out entirely so
you're not even tempted to go past the level of
common sense, decency, or however we want to phrase that.
For a moderate dose or portion or you can attempt

(29:42):
to trust yourself. Take a couple, enjoy them fully, eat slowly,
seal it up, put the rest back in the pantry,
not to be touched again until no earlier than tomorrow.
How do we do it well? We just continue to
be mindful. That's all I've got, And I never ever

(30:03):
want to give anybody the idea that I think you
should live in any kind of scarcity. What I do
want to say is prioritize your goals. Figure out what
it is we're doing that we want to accomplish the fastest,
make a plan, and then get after it. And sometimes, unfortunately,
moderation is going to be part of that plan. Thank

(30:25):
you for joining us here on Radical Joy. Friends, It's
always so nice to have you. If this is your
first episode, welcome. I hope that our chat on moderation
today is something that will help you in your day
to day life. Hopefully something I said mood you to
speak out loud to whatever device where you're listening. Nothing
would please me more than the sound of my voice
getting you to a point where it feels more like

(30:45):
a conversation than it does just listening to some sort
of lecture or just me basically wallowing in my own
thoughts for about half an hour. If this is not
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(31:08):
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(31:31):
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(31:59):
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(32:19):
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(32:43):
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is not therapy, and nothing in this content indicates a
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their own and do not represent the opinions of James
or CLW Studios. Please consult with your therapist or seek
what in your area. If you experiencing mental health symptoms.
Everything in this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes.

(33:05):
Only have a great one and we will see you
next week for another dose of radical joy love. Y'all,

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