March 13, 2025 • 46 mins
Greg, John and Rich talk about their friendship of almost 43 years, dating back to their freshman year in high school, and the journey over decades through the ups and downs of life. Get a little more backstory on your hosts!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Raw and Refine, the Gentleman's out where we're
going to have conversation with middle aged black men about
what's going on.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
We welcome you to listen.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Comment and like, and hopefully encourage others to join for
future conversations as well. We always like to start off
with a toast, and with that toast, it's because we
are gentlemen and we do it Raw and Refine. Let's
toast it up, my brothers. Today is going to be
(00:32):
a great conversation, and we decided to approach this one
with a non alcoholic beverage. For the majority of us,
we came with the correct drink. One of them had
to stand out, and we'll let him explain his drink
in a moment. But but the other two he went
ahead with an Honored Palmer, and I think for both
of us, we went with the sugar free version of
(00:54):
the Arnold Palmer as well. And it's interesting I had
to do, of course, a little research on that Honored Palmer,
and of course the drink was named after the golfer
Honor Palmer back in the sixties, so this was his
favorite drink. He liked to have a mixture of unsweetened
iced tea and lemonade, and he would take that on
the golf course with him or even after golfing, that
(01:16):
would be his drink of choice. So the way it
got its name was he was at a restaurant ordered
his mixture. A woman was behind heard it and said, wow,
I want the Palmer drink, and then from then on
it became known as the Arnold Palmer. So when some
of us started to say, oh no, let me call
(01:36):
it at tiger Woods, well, in essence, we don't even
know if Tiger Woods drinks and this kind of drink anyway,
but it give reference to where it really came from,
and that is truly Arnold Palmer.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
So little background on the Honor Palmer.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I knew who was after, but I did not know
all of that backstory.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Always try to educate a little bit when we can.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Right there, brother, and GK, what step off thing you
got over there?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I started buying my own beats, and not the
E A T s but beats, and I just started
making them in my blender. Okay, whatever fruit I have.
I had a bunch of watermelon before it went bad,
added some watermelon, some two Marican root blended it up
(02:28):
and it makes the of course some water, and then
it makes the beats a lot more.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You know, I was wondering how you kind of flavored
that up a little bit. Yeah, when you said the watermelon,
I'm like, okay, because otherwise that's like drinking appleica.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Bro, you got a way to the man.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I drink all the time, you know, and I do it.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I just do it with water, A little shot outside
of vinegar in about eight ounces of water, and I
drink it real fast, and you know that's real fast,
and they drink some more water afterwards, you know, so
there's no after taste because it's just nasty.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
But you know, you gotta do it right. It's good
for helping to.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Slow down the carbs. If you're eating something carby or
sugar or fifteen minutes before, get your shot of that
apple side of vinegar in there, and it helps to
especially you know, it's just like I do. I want
to get off the subject too much, but it puts
a barrier up and slows down the absorption of the
sugars a little bit. So if you got some sugars,
at least you don't want them going too fast.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
But yeah, GK. It's a beat the beet juices. That's
that's hurt healthy than the mug, you know.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
So however, you got to make it taste decent enough
to do it all the time, then.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
You know, do that.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
That's a good choice. There's probably way healthier than it's
all the palmer probably, that's.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Yeah. There you go.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
You say the beverage was put out that much. You know,
we put choices, We gave choice opportunities. If you didn't
offer up one, then you rolled with us chosen, right,
He's like like one of those ten Democrats that you
know got up to cension. Right since there my brother,
you know you don't you know the assignment mug?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
What y'all doing? Look at jackets exactly?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Oops, I went off all way off the rail. So
let's get where we're supposed to be going today. We're
talking about brotherhood, a friendship since nineteen eighty two. That's
exactly today's segment. You know, welcome everybody to the episode. Uh,
you know, we were sharing that we're sharing a forty
(04:48):
plus year of friendship between the three of us, the
hosts of this illustrious Raw and Refined.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
There you go, U we got one hundred.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
And twenty years of life, you know, right, Yeah, be real,
real careful with the word choices. And you know it's
all forty years. There's all kinds of things. Did you
know that happened? So you know we're gonna be very
choosy and the ad the what do we call those?
The adverbs and the trajectives that we used throughout today's session.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Ye know, we can be decode and stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
You know, we might have our own nickname for each other,
but we just leave that.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
You know, we got you know, you got forty years
of layers of coding. That's you know, we can't be
revealing too much and you know, right, that's right. But
you know, we're gonna talk about how how it started,
some defining moments along the way, challenges and growth of
us as individuals and as of our brotherhood, and we're
(05:54):
gonna kind of wrap it up talking a little bit
about why long term friendships matter, positives of having some
lifelong brothers not.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
You know, it's not like we're not.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Being braggy or anything saying yeah we've been we've been
France for forty years and if you haven't, your life sucks.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
No, that's what we're doing, you know, right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Just talk about how special to have that kind of
bond has been for us and hopefully for others out
there listening as well.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So we just wanted to share that with the world
right now.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So I appreciate you to.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You that bridge.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah, being at a little less heavy, you know, after
our last conversation was was a I thought, a very
very powerful conversation, but you know, some really heavy material,
So kind of shifting gears a little bit, a little
something lighter, but not necessarily that light. You know, forty
years of things, you know there can be some depth
in there too. So kick us off GK with.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
The beginning years, the beginning. So it's a funny thing
I think about that, and it's it's funny. You know.
We weren't in the same classes together as freshmen. We
had a common teacher, you know, our mutual friend, Charles Baker,
one who I knew since fifth grade, sixth grade, and
when we got to high school. Charles was always really
(07:08):
good at math and science, right, particularly math, and Charles
knew Rich because they were all I think you are too.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
John.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Y'all were in Algebra Plus together and I was not.
I was in Academic English with you know, I guess
which is Honors English. So I didn't really know y'all.
But being kind of the nerd that I was back
then and Charles was back then, it was like, yo, Daisy,
he's cats, especially Rich who thinks he's really really smart,
(07:37):
and so we all we all we were the smartest, right,
So it was like, who is this dude? And so
really my first introduction to Rich was through Charles, and
it was because the commonality and class schedule that you
all had, and so it was Rich first for me,
(07:58):
and John came later friendship, and I think Rich and
John we're kind of, you know, kicking it together. And
then somehow, you know, really like Voultrot, we all kind
of came together, and then by sophomore and junior year
we were kind of their mostly things just kind of
built from there. So there's all these branches I think
(08:21):
that connect us, you know, as a tree.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Commodore sixty four, right, that's right, that's right, that's right,
John sixty four.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
And we started battling on the games.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Freshman.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
That's where because I could take the bus down to
your crib. We discovered that because taking the bus it
went past your crib when we were going to school,
because it went down Roosevelt, went through Forest Park, down
desk Planes and then came back up all the way
around through to the other side. And so it was like, oh,
that's where John live. Okay, all right, So then I
(09:00):
figured that out, so I could hop on the bus
and come down there. We started doing we started doing
Battle on your Commodore six.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
Yeahfore I had that's four hundred.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Yeah, And so that's where you know, that's how we
clicked off on those video games.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
That's right, that's right, that's right, man.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And like you said, Greg, it's hard to say that
it was quote just the moment that that all happened.
It really was a blend that just really brought it together.
But it felt like it's been forever and forever in
a good way, which is what's so amazing. And you
know when I first met you, dude, so quick. Background,
So I came from Chicago South Side of Chicago, coming
(09:39):
into living in Forest Park and attending Provisal East High School,
which was in Maywood, whereas you two basically are from
the Provisal township. Growing up going to Proviso East High School.
So I remember when I first arrived at Proviso, you know,
I was, for whatever reason, the way we were dressing
(10:00):
in eighth grade from where I went to school.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We were wearing shirt.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And tie, and I thought, well, I guess that's what
we do, you know, in high school. So I roll up,
I got my shirt and tie, but down, you know,
looking preppy as all know what. And then entering the
Proviso East High School, which is in Maywood, Illinois, which
(10:23):
you know, I will say is not a preppy part
of the western suburbs of Chicago, right right right, and
realized quickly that, okay, that's not quite the dress of
the day.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
Looking like Carlton right right.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
G K, I think you're absolutely right man. When I
first started to meet you guys, here's the impression that
I had, and I want to say this in a
good way, is that I think.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
We all were nerdy in a way.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
But it wasn't the book geek kind of nerdy kind
of stuff, and not to put that down, but we
just had our ways about us. And I think there
was this little aspect of competition as it went to
that as well. And when I first met Rick, I
thought of Rick as that, but then I was like, ah,
he's a sports dude, you know, he y'all into basketball
(11:15):
and this and that type deal. And then when I
met Gugk, I was like, oh, man, this dude think
he's a player. Man, he think he's getting all these
women and stuff. Man, you know, look at this fool
right here.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Well, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I had the deep voice back then in freshman year,
remember that.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Yeah, that was that was the thing I remember about.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
God, it was like, you know, I was like, you know,
my voice hadn't changed and I was still at the
little cracking, little high voice, right you know.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
And he walked in.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
And he was and he was all of five foot two,
three pounds, three pounds you know, walking in here.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Grig you know.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But man, whatever it was, it was like you said,
I think, deep down, just hard to go. It was
meant to be. It's still meant to be. And we're
getting into more of what that's been throughout the years.
But man, those you know, high school definitely defining moment
(12:28):
for for me and and uh really started the the
started this which has been absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
YEA, yeah, no, no, it's a it's a crazy thing
to reflect on. You know. I I've told people one
of the things I appreciate most about my high school
is that.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
You know, we all kind of like we all I
would it wasn't. It wasn't like we were forced. Like
it was like all sort of almost.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
This cat's kind of cool, you know, he's smart. Like
for some reason, I always had an affinity for guys
who were smart, who you know, did well in school,
who had the respect of teachers, you know, because there
were always opportunities to really get in trouble. I can't
(13:21):
say I was immune to it, but I always sort
of found myself wanting to be around cats who is like,
you know, talking about the future, politics or or like
just doing things that I felt were positive and we
just you know, and I eventually found myself going over
(13:42):
the richest house, hanging out with him and you know, parents,
greeting his parents with you John, going to Forest Park,
hanging out at your grib like and it just kind
of it just built theself over time.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
And I agree, and of course ours.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's right, but yeah, but ours, man, that was the
that was the spot right across the street, go grab
a hot dog, burger or taco.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Man. So to give our listeners context, who aren't from
who aren't from the woods. When we were in high school,
one of the spots, it was literally across the street
from our high school was ours. We would all at
some point another make our way over there to get.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Our grew up mom. But Greg literally lived down the
street from the high school and so he worked there
while we were students.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
So you know, it was a it was just it
was great for us, you know, one of our best
friends worked in the spot, you know, and so I
don't know how to describe it, but it was a
meet up spot. It was a central location. It was
a cultural dastion for for us, you know, at the time,
and for you know, for many years after that, and
(15:01):
Greg worked there. I should love going over there because
of your man GK. What was his name, Chuck was
the owner or the manager or what was.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
The nephew of the owner? Okay, they were all Thailand
and he came in came from Thailand with them and
worked and kind of ran the register really well.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Just a cat with a with a with a great spirit,
and you know, just thousands of people loved him. We
lost him a few years back, when we were in
high school. Whenever I walked in there, I'll come in
the spot, and Chuck would always point at me and say.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Greg Kelly brother, Greg Kelly brother.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You know, yeah, every time, you know. The first three
or four times, you know, I came in, I was like, no, no,
I'm not good.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
After I was like, to shut up, that's who you are,
you know, to him.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, yeah, I think you talk about ols, you know,
the restaurant. All three of us wound up at some
point in high school work at fast food. You were
at McDonald's and Hall the way you were at Taco Bell,
and we were all working at the same time at
fast food while we were in high school, right, And
(16:13):
I reflected on it not too long ago, It's like,
that's an interesting thing. There's a wand which that kept
us out of trouble, kept the money in our pocket.
We relate to each other because we were work all
working at fast food and then stopped by the spot
to Yeah, it was.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
It was really beneficial, I think for us.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
In addition to the free food that we were able
to share amongst the group, I think it really taught
us a lot of people skills.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
It taught you how to deal with people. It taught you.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
One thing it definitely taught you was how to deal
with pissed off people. Because in every in any kind
of fast food setting, restaurants setting, you know, everything doesn't
go perfectly and you get ignorant, angry people. You know,
you get people their irate and blowing up for something
real small. I know you and got snapped there for
having some cold fries before, John R.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
But I think ultimately, you know, it benefited all of
us and you know, and that it taught us how
to deal with the public. But yeah, I hadn't thought
about that, Greg, you know, we were all in fast
food jobs at that same time.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
You know, yep, yeah, it was like you said, Rich,
It's definitely was a life important part of my life
stories having had experience, you know, the chaos of a
bunch of people coming in and keep your head right
interfacing with the public, and a lot of times it
ain't positive ways you're dealing with them. That I learned
(17:40):
just from you know, that fast food experience.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I think I'm glad you brought that up too, because
when I'm at work and say, something happens, so an
emergency happens, you know, at the office or something.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
One of the things I get that.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Feedback from my team and others is that you, you know,
you come up always approached the situation so calmly. You know,
I never really thought about that what you said and
how that basically shaped that some of that experience. You
had to be able to stay calm with any situation
that was going on, but still get.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
The job done.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And I think that's you know, just carried through you know,
of course, with knowledge, you can always stay calm with
that as well, But I think it was the experience
that also realized, hey, everybody getting crazy isn't gonna help
the situation, so we gotta stay calm and work through it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
But that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Well, I've seen you, of course in a couple of
different situations where you kept your cool and helped people out.
The first time was when I was getting ready to
graduate from law school and you you were down there
for graduation. We were at the gym, we were valling
that weekend. You had come down. So we're at this
I'm at the University of Illinois spar called Intramural physic Building,
(18:58):
So we're there hoping in this cat he was an undergrad,
but he was pretty big.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
So you know, I'm sticking him. We're playing, and he
went up and he.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Stepped on somebody's foot when he came down or something
and dislocated his ankle. And so, you know, we're playing
and he goes down, and of course, you know what happens.
You look down and you see your foot pointing the
wrong way, right, it's supposed to be pointing this way,
and it's over here doing this.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
So he sees it. He freaks out, screams.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
We're like, oh you know, and and John looks up
and comes over there.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
So John hasn't even.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Graduated from med school yet or hadn't you know, or
were you a resident. I forget I'm getting this. So
this is ninety four, so during year ye my last
year school, and so you know, this happens, and John,
John you know, runs over there real quick, seized dude
and looks at it, and it was like all right,
(19:52):
you know, he got the shoe off, looked at everything
and was like, okay, it's just dislocated you all right,
you know, and calm dude down.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
So by the time the peer Amdix got there, you know,
everything was chill, and I'm just sitting over there, super
proud of my boy. You know, he ain't even officially
a doctor yet, but he already you know, and then
handled the situation, you know, and we're like, oh, yeah, man,
you know, it's a good thing he was here exactly
because you know, we'd all been freaking out with him.
But John was just super cool. And then when we
(20:21):
were at the reunion, you remember that one, Greg, were
that evening when we were at the restaurant and we're
sitting there, we're eating and we didn't even notice that
something was going on, but John had noticed that he
had peaked the situation, just got up from the table,
went over there and started, you know, calming down the family,
dealing with dude. I don't know what he had passed
(20:42):
out or I forget, but John, you know, just was
on the scene just like that. So by the time
the again, by the time the EMTs got there.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Everything was already you know handled. You know, we were like, damn,
where did he go?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
You know, he just hopped up out of his seat
and you know, sprung into action, you know, black superhero style.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
We was like, you know, oh, man, I appreciate you
all yeah, yeah, I remember those and things, And again,
I think it's just I think a lot of what
we've gone through has helped to be present in those situations,
(21:21):
you know as well. So y'all support has always been
just so impactful to me. So you guys, I don't
know if you ever really know how much you guys
mean to me in that aspect, but you guys are
the world to me, and and I just I love
that we've been able to have such a friendship that's
more than a friendship, more than a brotherhood. I don't
(21:42):
even know what to truly call it, but.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
But I love it. You know, we called you out
the moral compass.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
You know it's not in the script, but you know
we got to talk about that. Greg had conversations that
you know, it's to you know, you remember that people
were wear the bands that say w W j D
what would Jesus do?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
For a lot of our lives? It was always what
would John say? You know, what would John say? You know,
we got a.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Bit more flexible moral code John, I'll put it that way.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
It's so weird.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
He remember safety first.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
It's like, I don't know, you know, it's kind of
been like that you know, do you want to do that?
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Well, because if you if you do that, at.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Some point, you're going to have to explain it to
John like he was, you know, like he was the
boss of us or in charge of something, and it
was like, you don't want to disappoint John. It's not
like he's ever gonna do anything, right, you know, if
you if you disappointed him, he's gonna be all understanding
(22:53):
and whatnot.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
Well, bro, you know exactly you shot that dude the head.
You know, all he deal was bumpy.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Excuse me, But you know, I don't know, maybe next time,
you know, take a different path, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Well, you know, one of the fastest to me about
our friendship is that we aren't all the same. Like
we are, like we have some commonalities, but our personalities
are distinct. That's why it's just like like both to me,
like Voltron and like yeah, and I.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Just happen to be that form like Vultron. I just
happened to be thehead, isn't right.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Right, That's what I've So that's an important thing to
mention because I think it allows us to be our
own individual self but still comfortable with the group, right
or like individuals like we didn't. I don't ever feel
(24:02):
like I had to kind of like change myself to
get along with Jolly. Doesn't mean we didn't rid each
other about the.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Right right right.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I never I gotta fear about being myself because of
my God. It was a right space to be who
we are m.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Exactly. That's that's that's very true.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
And so you know, never, never, at any point along
the way has it been any attending.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I'll put it this way.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Any influence that we've had on each other has been organic,
you know. Otherwise it's you know, this is this, that's
Greg or that's John. I think that's one of the
benefits of true friendship is is that it's that true acceptance, right,
one hundred percent acceptance of who that person is, right.
I think that what's important in that, though, is the
(24:55):
ability to be completely honest with each other, you know,
except I think who that person is, but also being
comfortable enough to say, you know, I love you.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
That's wrong though, having people in your life.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
That are willing to call you out when you want
some bull being you know, secure enough in the relationship
that I can say this and don't have to worry
that you're gonna disappear or you know, you know, you
hear people talk about well, you know, I don't know
if I should say something because if I say something,
they gonna get mad. They ain't gonna speak to me
no more. Well, this is a different type of relationship.
(25:33):
You know, if I completely tick you out, go ahead.
You know, if I completely tick you off, you're gonna
be completely ticked off. But you know, but you're gonna
get over it. You ain't gonna go nowhere and right.
And then even in the way I take you off,
I'm not gonna disrespect you because that's just how we
you know, how we work.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
And so I think that's kind of unique.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I agree, that's.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But that I think we've really always kind of been
that way, which I think is it's so lasting for
us as well. Is that at any point we really,
you know, like you said, had to feel different about
who we are whenever we're in the midst of each other. Yeah,
and we might have fun about that difference with each
other as well, But it was never malicious, you know,
(26:19):
it was truly fun. And let me help build you up,
you build me up. We keep this thing rocking and
rolling and things you know what I'm saying. So that's
something that speaks to what I call authentic friendship.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, it's an interesting thing to talk about, like going
different you know a point. We went kind of different directions,
right John with to Howard being like why is he
going to Howard going to you? And by and me
going to Iowa. And I think we kind of separated
(26:56):
and went in different ways at different places, but I
think you always still wound up reconnecting in a real way.
You know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Man, that's before cell phones and all the stuff that.
You know, you have a much easier way of doing that.
Y'all brothers came down to Howard. I mean, you know again,
like you said, we all in college. Yet somehow we
found that way to say no, come check it out
and everything. And y'all came through checked it out for
(27:25):
a weekend and everything. We had a ball, you know
as well.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Again, one of my most fun things ever was when
we actually went down we went to we drove to
d C to when you went to go move in
for for the orientation.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Yeah, yeah, picture when we were on the that's true.
That was one of the experiences with three of us
going when John John being first is orientation Augusta. That's right, Yeah,
that's a great experience.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right then you catch came down freshman year for spring break,
came to Champagne and that's why Greg was online.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Your line was suspended for spring.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Break, came down, came down, drove down, and then you
know it got a little uncomfortable.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
There when when when you mess.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
Some of your future brothers, and so then we ended
up driving him back to Chicago, right right, a little
short you know, like might not be as u good
idea as we thought.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Let's get this brother up out of here.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Right in retrospect, it was brilliant. They fell up some
relationship with at U of I in part because of that, you.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Know, major life events that shaped us as individuals and
as friends. I'm thinking about Greg. John was the first
and a number of ways, uh, John was the first
one to get married across the country too, that was right,
his first one to get married and the only one.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
To stay married.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
By the way.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
You know, no, I'm married now too, but right I'm
on my second on my second marriage, you.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Know, I did you know, got my upgrade on that wedding.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
That and John asked me to sing a uh yeah,
the wedding it was that was like in retrospect, like
like something from like you'd see from like different world
or you know, or right or something right New Jersey
outside of Phillies.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's just I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
And then with the Philly to hang out. Yeah, fourth
of July.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
In Philly. Yeah, I got to meet more your friends
and and the wife's friends.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
But that was that was a cool trip.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
We came from different places because I was in d
C that summer, that's right. Yep, I was doing an
internship the uh to the Mental Health Law Project later
became the Judge Basilon Center for Mental Health Law.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
But yeah, I was in d C that summer.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
And I had my I had my I had access
to my boss's car because she never drove it. That's
how I drove her car to come up there for
that weekend. Wow, I was her car from d C. Yeah, okay,
I left her all kinds of tickets to deal with
after I was gone.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Oh man, that was highlight mm hmm, because then you're right,
not only just our bond and friendship, but you guys
got to connect with those that I started bonding with
through college.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Expanded the circle and the connections around the circle, because
it's it's interesting how they overlapp despite the fact that
even now we're not physically close to each other, but
our circles are connected and overlap in a lot of ways.
It's interesting all the time that you know, I meet
people that know Greg or get.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
People to be like, hey, I ran to your boy
the other day, Yeah he was in such such you know,
I think that's interesting too when we look at you know,
talk about the friendship over the long haul and now
you know, we're all working.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Professionals and have been for decades now. For me, it's
cool when I get to see YouTube succeed in some fashion.
You too, you know, get you know, accolades or something
for the work that you're doing. And you know, and
for me it was expected. Havn't known you for decades
and seeing what you do, you know, know where your
(31:47):
mind's at because of the many conversations over the years
and all of that. You know, I expect certain levels
of excellence from you, cats, because you've delivered, you know,
in so many.
Speaker 5 (32:00):
Ways for so long.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
So that's just always, you know, it's not a surprise
when I see you guys succeed in ways. It's just
kind of like, you know, I'm happy for you even
though it's expected.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Kind of Noah, I agree with you, Rick.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
I think it's been amazing how we've known people like
you said that one may be a surprise, but yet
always proud that.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
They bring that up.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's like, hey, I met a good friend of yours, like, oh,
Richard Halloween, why you met rich rich You know, I
was at the door grad school and he was in
law school and I was like get out of here
type deal and things and say with GK folks that
just know or have met you guys, and it's always
(32:46):
just you know, test is puffed out and like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Those are my boys, man, how do the doing?
Speaker 2 (32:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
And the other So yeah, it's always a proud moment
when someone show or say that, yep, I met so
and so, ran and so and so.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Oh man, that's.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
It I brought to you guys. You know again, we've
gone through it. We've gone through a lot throughout the
years as well, and yet you know, here we still are.
And again the strength, the love, the realness, the laughter,
the intellect, all of that.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Man, it's just absolute joy.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
So no doubt, I got a question for you. But
have you have you always slept in the bed?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
They just threw you with the question, right, He's like, huh,
so a little context for you. For a number of years, Greg,
rarely have ever slept in the bed, or for a
number I don't know how long we were roommates, right,
So I'm just that's what I'm getting that period of
time when Greg and out with roommates after after I
came home from from law school, we ended up being roommates.
(33:47):
And I was just saying that because des cat would
fall asleep in the chair every night.
Speaker 5 (33:51):
You know, I fall asleep in the chair most nights.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
Now.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
You know, I'm a middle aged dude, right.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
I'm fifty six years old, and you know, depending on
what I eat for dinner, on the TV in front
of me, it might be watching me. You know, we
were we were young cats back then. You know where
Greg and roommates. No, he just didn't sleep in the bed.
That dude was up in a chair in the living room.
That was his intended place of falling asleep.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
You know.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
But yeah, that was just kind of my awkward segue
into talking about the fact that Greg and I had
been roommates. You know, when I came from law school,
he was at the crib at his folks crib. I
was at my folks crib for a couple of months
when I first came home from law school, and we
were like, you know, let's get a spot cool. So
we ended up. A buddy of mine that I went
to college with, one of Gregg's fat brothers, had a
(34:37):
three flat uh in South Shore.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
On Adiath and Pakistan.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
So we became Were we the top floor tenants or
the second field to the top floor, because you know,
we didn't want nobody over us. We wanted to be
on time. But we were roommates for We were roommates
until Greg fell in love with heathersed on me one day.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
You got married and then I was ared firm.
Speaker 5 (35:04):
Very okay, father popped up on the.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Same maggany miles, That's what happened.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
No, but yeah, yeah, we had some We had some
nice parties. Man, when gregging out with roommates. You were
at Loyola at that point, you were in where were
you in?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Hint?
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Where were you in Hensdale Nsdale Grange?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, yeah, we went to the grade final was Hensdale
before leaving. Yeah, yeah, y'all had Alex Yeah, and was
like we gotta get out of Chicago now.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
That you finished up. It was like where am I
gonna go? For real? It was like, we're getting up
out of Chicago.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah, Whin's the.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Saale Clinton North Carolina?
Speaker 4 (35:51):
Still do They went out there and bought them accents
and everything.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Carolina.
Speaker 5 (35:58):
That's right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
But man, talk about that a little bit boring about
the roommates and and and that.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
How was that because now you're talking about Yeah, it
was called the level of clothes.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
It was hot, it was cool. And it's funny because
we both worked downtown. So you know, we got in
our twenties, you know, working in.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
The city working. Greg worked in City Hall and I was.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I was right across the street in the Chicago Temple Building,
so working for a small law firm. So yeah, we were.
We were commuting downtown together and home, you know. And
so you know, some days we was on it, some
days we were on the train, some days we were
on the bus, some days we drove. I don't know
what was going on, but yeah, we were right there
in South Shore. It was a cool spot. It was great,
(36:44):
great having the landlord was one of my good friends.
So you know, it was never any issues. It was
a good time. And like I said, we had some
great part We had talked about that. Yeah, like he mentioned,
he mentioned Chuck earlier was the one that you know
that kind of connected us. Chuck wasn't living in Chicago
at that time when we were roommates. She was in Dallas,
I believe or something like that. But he made multiple parties.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, those parties were a lot of fun, man, the
care free nature of it. Like I said, so were
living in south Shore three flat up the neighborhood community.
Holloway would cook. So you know, I'm not a cook
at all, but Halloway would cook a lot. So I
would cheerfully Halloway's food.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
So yeah, it man, that started in college. You know,
we was broke. I was cooking just because that was,
you know, cheaper than buying food all the time. A
lot of times I had multiple roommates and we would
pull money and they didn't cook. I did all the
cooking because you know, I've always said I'm not gonna
be eating nasty food just because you know, if you
(37:48):
can't cook, find our cook. I always said I would
never marry a woman who couldn't cook. You know, if
she couldn't cook, she was gonna have to spend six
months at home with her mama learning, Or if mama
couldn't cook, she was gonna have to spend some time
with my mom because you know, we won't gonna be
eating nasty food or going out to eat every night
if I'm not cooking.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So yeah, that was That was a cool time.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Because we both worked downtown in close proximity. We hung
out a lot. We hung out, We ate lunch. Greg
and I went to lunch probably three times a week
as well, you know, because we were so close in
proximity at work, and especially in the warm weather months.
You know, we're in downtown Chicago, so you know, it's
so when the weather's nice, we were we would we
would go to lunch. You know, we would toss some
(38:31):
food down real fast to get some nourishment.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
But we'd spend most of.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Our lunch time just walking around downtown because it was
just beautiful sights to see all day long.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Single man in the nineties working downtown with like with.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
A few dollars in your pocket, you know what, So
you know, wow especially, I mean it was like, you
know how if you watching like Discovery Channel and and
and the seasons and when springs coming, the animals get
all bouncy and and everything, you know, and jumping around,
hopping the young ones.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
It's it's spring and they're all excited.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
That's how we were when when the weather first broke,
Because when the weather frost broke in Chicago, sisters just
would have, you know, as little on as possible. It
was like they had been pent up all winter and
had to have on all these clothes, and you know,
as soon as the weather broke, it was like, I'm
going to be as close to naked as I can
(39:29):
as work will allow, you know. So those those first
couple of weeks where you know, it was like fertile
hunting season or whatever, you know, right, like in Discovery
Channel terms.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
But so we would be out there all day.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
It was a time and I think by the end
of it, Holloway got married, left me at the big
old apartment by myself, and then later on, you know,
I transitioned out of that. But that experience of us,
you know, sort of living together and just being young
men in the city. Was is the important part of
my life story?
Speaker 5 (40:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:03):
That was.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
You know, I think it definitely made us closer.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
You don't have a choice when you live with somebody, right,
you're going to learn more about that other person. It's
either gonna make it closer or it's gonna really push
you apart one the other.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
And for the record, they still on the couch so.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Your comfort zone.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
Do by beds just to have one there, you know,
so he could show some sort of you.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
Know, social conformity. Yes, yes, I have a bed. What
do you mean.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
On the couch? Boy? It's hard to get up.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
How rare is a forty plus youre of friendship? And
what advice would you give to others? You know, I
know a lot of people that have these, you know,
long term friendships, you know, So I don't know if
it's really rare, but I think they're all special.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
The ones that are are those true?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
And I don't think you can have a friendship for
forty years that isn't a true friendship.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Or if you do that, then that's kind of a shame.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
No, I agree, And you know, and there's gonna be
times throughout that there's gonna be things that we're not
on the same page about, or something you know that's
going on that we have different viewpoints.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
About as well.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
But the beauty of that is that we'll have our
conversation about it. You know, we'll respect each other's opinion
on what that is, and you know, we keep it moving.
Next thing, you know, something that came up that made
us have a laugh about something again, talking about sports
or something else that's going on in the world. And
I think that's the beauty of friendship. And I think
that the longevity is not necessarily what defines the greatness
(41:37):
of the friendship. It's the it's just being able to
know that you have that connection with someone that truly
is real, that each one can be their own person
within that and not feel like they have to be
someone else in order to fit in it, because if
you do, then that's friendship or relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
That's just it's not going to last.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
We've been separated, we were different parts of the of
the nation, on the world, and yet always find ways
to get together.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Traveling coming into town.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
You know, it's like, hey, what's going on, But it
feels like we just talked yesterday. You know, it never
feels like dag, it's been so long, what's been going on?
It's like, no, you know, what's up our so and
so house to fad with you up to what's going
on here and there, and it just always feels like
it's right down the street type deal.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
And that's I think the pandemic did kind of change things,
and I think for us in a positive way. I
think we increased our communication as a result of the pandemic.
We started texting a lot more, We started facetiming, you know,
especially when it was right in the midst of it,
(42:52):
you know, making sure, you know, checking on each other
and making sure to support each other. I think that
level the communication increased during the pandemic, and I think
in some respects it's kind of stayed there.
Speaker 5 (43:05):
So I think that was a positive.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's right. You know, it's a
way when you talk about the longevity question, I think
it's cool right to say that it's been all this time,
but we've all changed so much over that period of time,
And for me, I appreciate the fact that it always
feels like a comfortable space. I always feel like, you know,
(43:28):
you get to be our age Nostalgia is a valuable thing, right,
and so to be able to reflect on past and
you know, and of course the other thing for me
is laughter. Yeah, the trash talking and the jokes about
each other and other things. You know, you could be
in a bad mood and a little trash talking amongst
(43:49):
each other really really will lift my spirits.
Speaker 5 (43:52):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And you know, like I said earlier, this is more
than family. I mean to my kids y'all and uncle,
you know, to them, and no matter where I'm in
the world, where they are in the world, if you're there,
I already know that they're taking care of you know
as well. And I mean that that is also the
beauty of this. And we've done this, like I said,
this is you know, before cell phones and emails and
(44:16):
all that stuff came out and none of us were
no writing brus so we weren't up there writing letters
and all that kind of stuff either.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
But hey, we freshman year freshman year of college.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Do you remember back then, when you know, how you
could when they used to pass around the numbers, the
phone numbers, the codes.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
You remember the.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
Yeah, and if you could get a hold of the code,
everybody was sharing that same one until it got run out.
That I remember, I used to that was the only
time I could call y'all. When we get ahold one
of those numbers, that was still good.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
That's true. I remember that I.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
Used to call y'all. I used to call Kim all
the time as well.
Speaker 5 (44:59):
Kim.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
We refreshment, you know, just away from home for the
first time and all of that.
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah, that was that worked out really well.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
You know, I don't know whose numbers those were, but
you know, SHELL appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Absolutely, all true, all true.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
So I'm gonna say, you know, I think we were
closing in on that hour, so it's about the time.
So I'm gonna We've talked about a lot of different things.
There's of course a million things that we didn't touch on,
and as soon as we leave, you know, didn't think
other things are gonna pop into the dome and be like,
oh I didn't I talk about that. Oh I did
not talk about this. That's what comes with with forty
three years, right, this is twenty twenty five, so it's
(45:41):
forty two and change because we would have met in
the fall of eighty two.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
So that's that's a lot of years and a lot
of stuff.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
So you know, we'll just say, you know, to the
listeners out there, we appreciate you all.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Do you have lifelong friendships? What have kept your friendship strong?
How your interest changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (45:59):
How you back at your younger selves, not individually, but
with those friendships and all of that. What does that
look like, you know, from brotherhood and fatherhood or you know,
how things have changed, you know, think about some of that,
ponder that and take a moment to appreciate what's special
about those relationships you know, and don't ever take them
(46:20):
for granted because they're not promised.
Speaker 5 (46:22):
Again, this is wrong. To find the gentleman's out and
our hours up
Welcome to Raw and Refine, the Gentleman's out where we're
going to have conversation with middle aged black men about
what's going on.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
We welcome you to listen.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Comment and like, and hopefully encourage others to join for
future conversations as well. We always like to start off
with a toast, and with that toast, it's because we
are gentlemen and we do it Raw and Refine. Let's
toast it up, my brothers. Today is going to be
(00:32):
a great conversation, and we decided to approach this one
with a non alcoholic beverage. For the majority of us,
we came with the correct drink. One of them had
to stand out, and we'll let him explain his drink
in a moment. But but the other two he went
ahead with an Honored Palmer, and I think for both
of us, we went with the sugar free version of
(00:54):
the Arnold Palmer as well. And it's interesting I had
to do, of course, a little research on that Honored Palmer,
and of course the drink was named after the golfer
Honor Palmer back in the sixties, so this was his
favorite drink. He liked to have a mixture of unsweetened
iced tea and lemonade, and he would take that on
the golf course with him or even after golfing, that
(01:16):
would be his drink of choice. So the way it
got its name was he was at a restaurant ordered
his mixture. A woman was behind heard it and said, wow,
I want the Palmer drink, and then from then on
it became known as the Arnold Palmer. So when some
of us started to say, oh no, let me call
(01:36):
it at tiger Woods, well, in essence, we don't even
know if Tiger Woods drinks and this kind of drink anyway,
but it give reference to where it really came from,
and that is truly Arnold Palmer.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
So little background on the Honor Palmer.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I knew who was after, but I did not know
all of that backstory.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Always try to educate a little bit when we can.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Right there, brother, and GK, what step off thing you
got over there?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
So I started buying my own beats, and not the
E A T s but beats, and I just started
making them in my blender. Okay, whatever fruit I have.
I had a bunch of watermelon before it went bad,
added some watermelon, some two Marican root blended it up
(02:28):
and it makes the of course some water, and then
it makes the beats a lot more.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You know, I was wondering how you kind of flavored
that up a little bit. Yeah, when you said the watermelon,
I'm like, okay, because otherwise that's like drinking appleica.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Bro, you got a way to the man.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I drink all the time, you know, and I do it.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
I just do it with water, A little shot outside
of vinegar in about eight ounces of water, and I
drink it real fast, and you know that's real fast,
and they drink some more water afterwards, you know, so
there's no after taste because it's just nasty.
Speaker 5 (03:15):
But you know, you gotta do it right. It's good
for helping to.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Slow down the carbs. If you're eating something carby or
sugar or fifteen minutes before, get your shot of that
apple side of vinegar in there, and it helps to
especially you know, it's just like I do. I want
to get off the subject too much, but it puts
a barrier up and slows down the absorption of the
sugars a little bit. So if you got some sugars,
at least you don't want them going too fast.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
But yeah, GK. It's a beat the beet juices. That's
that's hurt healthy than the mug, you know.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
So however, you got to make it taste decent enough
to do it all the time, then.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
You know, do that.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
That's a good choice. There's probably way healthier than it's
all the palmer probably, that's.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Yeah. There you go.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
You say the beverage was put out that much. You know,
we put choices, We gave choice opportunities. If you didn't
offer up one, then you rolled with us chosen, right,
He's like like one of those ten Democrats that you
know got up to cension. Right since there my brother,
you know you don't you know the assignment mug?
Speaker 5 (04:23):
What y'all doing? Look at jackets exactly?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Oops, I went off all way off the rail. So
let's get where we're supposed to be going today. We're
talking about brotherhood, a friendship since nineteen eighty two. That's
exactly today's segment. You know, welcome everybody to the episode. Uh,
you know, we were sharing that we're sharing a forty
(04:48):
plus year of friendship between the three of us, the
hosts of this illustrious Raw and Refined.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
There you go, U we got one hundred.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
And twenty years of life, you know, right, Yeah, be real,
real careful with the word choices. And you know it's
all forty years. There's all kinds of things. Did you
know that happened? So you know we're gonna be very
choosy and the ad the what do we call those?
The adverbs and the trajectives that we used throughout today's session.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
Ye know, we can be decode and stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
You know, we might have our own nickname for each other,
but we just leave that.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
You know, we got you know, you got forty years
of layers of coding. That's you know, we can't be
revealing too much and you know, right, that's right. But
you know, we're gonna talk about how how it started,
some defining moments along the way, challenges and growth of
us as individuals and as of our brotherhood, and we're
(05:54):
gonna kind of wrap it up talking a little bit
about why long term friendships matter, positives of having some
lifelong brothers not.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
You know, it's not like we're not.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Being braggy or anything saying yeah we've been we've been
France for forty years and if you haven't, your life sucks.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
No, that's what we're doing, you know, right.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Just talk about how special to have that kind of
bond has been for us and hopefully for others out
there listening as well.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So we just wanted to share that with the world
right now.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
So I appreciate you to.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
You that bridge.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah, being at a little less heavy, you know, after
our last conversation was was a I thought, a very
very powerful conversation, but you know, some really heavy material,
So kind of shifting gears a little bit, a little
something lighter, but not necessarily that light. You know, forty
years of things, you know there can be some depth
in there too. So kick us off GK with.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
The beginning years, the beginning. So it's a funny thing
I think about that, and it's it's funny. You know.
We weren't in the same classes together as freshmen. We
had a common teacher, you know, our mutual friend, Charles Baker,
one who I knew since fifth grade, sixth grade, and
when we got to high school. Charles was always really
(07:08):
good at math and science, right, particularly math, and Charles
knew Rich because they were all I think you are too.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
John.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Y'all were in Algebra Plus together and I was not.
I was in Academic English with you know, I guess
which is Honors English. So I didn't really know y'all.
But being kind of the nerd that I was back
then and Charles was back then, it was like, yo, Daisy,
he's cats, especially Rich who thinks he's really really smart,
(07:37):
and so we all we all we were the smartest, right,
So it was like, who is this dude? And so
really my first introduction to Rich was through Charles, and
it was because the commonality and class schedule that you
all had, and so it was Rich first for me,
(07:58):
and John came later friendship, and I think Rich and
John we're kind of, you know, kicking it together. And
then somehow, you know, really like Voultrot, we all kind
of came together, and then by sophomore and junior year
we were kind of their mostly things just kind of
built from there. So there's all these branches I think
(08:21):
that connect us, you know, as a tree.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Commodore sixty four, right, that's right, that's right, that's right,
John sixty four.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
And we started battling on the games.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Freshman.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
That's where because I could take the bus down to
your crib. We discovered that because taking the bus it
went past your crib when we were going to school,
because it went down Roosevelt, went through Forest Park, down
desk Planes and then came back up all the way
around through to the other side. And so it was like, oh,
that's where John live. Okay, all right, So then I
(09:00):
figured that out, so I could hop on the bus
and come down there. We started doing we started doing
Battle on your Commodore six.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
Yeahfore I had that's four hundred.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Yeah, And so that's where you know, that's how we
clicked off on those video games.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
That's right, that's right, that's right, man.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And like you said, Greg, it's hard to say that
it was quote just the moment that that all happened.
It really was a blend that just really brought it together.
But it felt like it's been forever and forever in
a good way, which is what's so amazing. And you
know when I first met you, dude, so quick. Background,
So I came from Chicago South Side of Chicago, coming
(09:39):
into living in Forest Park and attending Provisal East High School,
which was in Maywood, whereas you two basically are from
the Provisal township. Growing up going to Proviso East High School.
So I remember when I first arrived at Proviso, you know,
I was, for whatever reason, the way we were dressing
(10:00):
in eighth grade from where I went to school.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We were wearing shirt.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And tie, and I thought, well, I guess that's what
we do, you know, in high school. So I roll up,
I got my shirt and tie, but down, you know,
looking preppy as all know what. And then entering the
Proviso East High School, which is in Maywood, Illinois, which
(10:23):
you know, I will say is not a preppy part
of the western suburbs of Chicago, right right right, and
realized quickly that, okay, that's not quite the dress of
the day.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
Looking like Carlton right right.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
G K, I think you're absolutely right man. When I
first started to meet you guys, here's the impression that
I had, and I want to say this in a
good way, is that I think.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
We all were nerdy in a way.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
But it wasn't the book geek kind of nerdy kind
of stuff, and not to put that down, but we
just had our ways about us. And I think there
was this little aspect of competition as it went to
that as well. And when I first met Rick, I
thought of Rick as that, but then I was like, ah,
he's a sports dude, you know, he y'all into basketball
(11:15):
and this and that type deal. And then when I
met Gugk, I was like, oh, man, this dude think
he's a player. Man, he think he's getting all these
women and stuff. Man, you know, look at this fool
right here.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Well, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I had the deep voice back then in freshman year,
remember that.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
Yeah, that was that was the thing I remember about.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
God, it was like, you know, I was like, you know,
my voice hadn't changed and I was still at the
little cracking, little high voice, right you know.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
And he walked in.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
And he was and he was all of five foot two,
three pounds, three pounds you know, walking in here.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Grig you know.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But man, whatever it was, it was like you said,
I think, deep down, just hard to go. It was
meant to be. It's still meant to be. And we're
getting into more of what that's been throughout the years.
But man, those you know, high school definitely defining moment
(12:28):
for for me and and uh really started the the
started this which has been absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
YEA, yeah, no, no, it's a it's a crazy thing
to reflect on. You know. I I've told people one
of the things I appreciate most about my high school
is that.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
You know, we all kind of like we all I
would it wasn't. It wasn't like we were forced. Like
it was like all sort of almost.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
This cat's kind of cool, you know, he's smart. Like
for some reason, I always had an affinity for guys
who were smart, who you know, did well in school,
who had the respect of teachers, you know, because there
were always opportunities to really get in trouble. I can't
(13:21):
say I was immune to it, but I always sort
of found myself wanting to be around cats who is like,
you know, talking about the future, politics or or like
just doing things that I felt were positive and we
just you know, and I eventually found myself going over
(13:42):
the richest house, hanging out with him and you know, parents,
greeting his parents with you John, going to Forest Park,
hanging out at your grib like and it just kind
of it just built theself over time.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
And I agree, and of course ours.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's right, but yeah, but ours, man, that was the
that was the spot right across the street, go grab
a hot dog, burger or taco.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Man. So to give our listeners context, who aren't from
who aren't from the woods. When we were in high school,
one of the spots, it was literally across the street
from our high school was ours. We would all at
some point another make our way over there to get.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Our grew up mom. But Greg literally lived down the
street from the high school and so he worked there
while we were students.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
So you know, it was a it was just it
was great for us, you know, one of our best
friends worked in the spot, you know, and so I
don't know how to describe it, but it was a
meet up spot. It was a central location. It was
a cultural dastion for for us, you know, at the time,
and for you know, for many years after that, and
(15:01):
Greg worked there. I should love going over there because
of your man GK. What was his name, Chuck was
the owner or the manager or what was.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
The nephew of the owner? Okay, they were all Thailand
and he came in came from Thailand with them and
worked and kind of ran the register really well.
Speaker 4 (15:22):
Just a cat with a with a with a great spirit,
and you know, just thousands of people loved him. We
lost him a few years back, when we were in
high school. Whenever I walked in there, I'll come in
the spot, and Chuck would always point at me and say.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Greg Kelly brother, Greg Kelly brother.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You know, yeah, every time, you know. The first three
or four times, you know, I came in, I was like, no, no,
I'm not good.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
After I was like, to shut up, that's who you are,
you know, to him.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, yeah, I think you talk about ols, you know,
the restaurant. All three of us wound up at some
point in high school work at fast food. You were
at McDonald's and Hall the way you were at Taco Bell,
and we were all working at the same time at
fast food while we were in high school, right, And
(16:13):
I reflected on it not too long ago, It's like,
that's an interesting thing. There's a wand which that kept
us out of trouble, kept the money in our pocket.
We relate to each other because we were work all
working at fast food and then stopped by the spot
to Yeah, it was.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
It was really beneficial, I think for us.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
In addition to the free food that we were able
to share amongst the group, I think it really taught
us a lot of people skills.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
It taught you how to deal with people. It taught you.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
One thing it definitely taught you was how to deal
with pissed off people. Because in every in any kind
of fast food setting, restaurants setting, you know, everything doesn't
go perfectly and you get ignorant, angry people. You know,
you get people their irate and blowing up for something
real small. I know you and got snapped there for
having some cold fries before, John R.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
But I think ultimately, you know, it benefited all of
us and you know, and that it taught us how
to deal with the public. But yeah, I hadn't thought
about that, Greg, you know, we were all in fast
food jobs at that same time.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
You know, yep, yeah, it was like you said, Rich,
It's definitely was a life important part of my life
stories having had experience, you know, the chaos of a
bunch of people coming in and keep your head right
interfacing with the public, and a lot of times it
ain't positive ways you're dealing with them. That I learned
(17:40):
just from you know, that fast food experience.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I think I'm glad you brought that up too, because
when I'm at work and say, something happens, so an
emergency happens, you know, at the office or something.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
One of the things I get that.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Feedback from my team and others is that you, you know,
you come up always approached the situation so calmly. You know,
I never really thought about that what you said and
how that basically shaped that some of that experience. You
had to be able to stay calm with any situation
that was going on, but still get.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
The job done.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And I think that's you know, just carried through you know,
of course, with knowledge, you can always stay calm with
that as well, But I think it was the experience
that also realized, hey, everybody getting crazy isn't gonna help
the situation, so we gotta stay calm and work through it.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
But that's a good point.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Well, I've seen you, of course in a couple of
different situations where you kept your cool and helped people out.
The first time was when I was getting ready to
graduate from law school and you you were down there
for graduation. We were at the gym, we were valling
that weekend. You had come down. So we're at this
I'm at the University of Illinois spar called Intramural physic Building,
(18:58):
So we're there hoping in this cat he was an undergrad,
but he was pretty big.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
So you know, I'm sticking him. We're playing, and he
went up and he.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
Stepped on somebody's foot when he came down or something
and dislocated his ankle. And so, you know, we're playing
and he goes down, and of course, you know what happens.
You look down and you see your foot pointing the
wrong way, right, it's supposed to be pointing this way,
and it's over here doing this.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
So he sees it. He freaks out, screams.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
We're like, oh you know, and and John looks up
and comes over there.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
So John hasn't even.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Graduated from med school yet or hadn't you know, or
were you a resident. I forget I'm getting this. So
this is ninety four, so during year ye my last
year school, and so you know, this happens, and John,
John you know, runs over there real quick, seized dude
and looks at it, and it was like all right,
(19:52):
you know, he got the shoe off, looked at everything
and was like, okay, it's just dislocated you all right,
you know, and calm dude down.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
So by the time the peer Amdix got there, you know,
everything was chill, and I'm just sitting over there, super
proud of my boy. You know, he ain't even officially
a doctor yet, but he already you know, and then
handled the situation, you know, and we're like, oh, yeah, man,
you know, it's a good thing he was here exactly
because you know, we'd all been freaking out with him.
But John was just super cool. And then when we
(20:21):
were at the reunion, you remember that one, Greg, were
that evening when we were at the restaurant and we're
sitting there, we're eating and we didn't even notice that
something was going on, but John had noticed that he
had peaked the situation, just got up from the table,
went over there and started, you know, calming down the family,
dealing with dude. I don't know what he had passed
(20:42):
out or I forget, but John, you know, just was
on the scene just like that. So by the time
the again, by the time the EMTs got there.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Everything was already you know handled. You know, we were like, damn,
where did he go?
Speaker 4 (20:55):
You know, he just hopped up out of his seat
and you know, sprung into action, you know, black superhero style.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
We was like, you know, oh, man, I appreciate you
all yeah, yeah, I remember those and things, And again,
I think it's just I think a lot of what
we've gone through has helped to be present in those situations,
(21:21):
you know as well. So y'all support has always been
just so impactful to me. So you guys, I don't
know if you ever really know how much you guys
mean to me in that aspect, but you guys are
the world to me, and and I just I love
that we've been able to have such a friendship that's
more than a friendship, more than a brotherhood. I don't
(21:42):
even know what to truly call it, but.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
But I love it. You know, we called you out
the moral compass.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
You know it's not in the script, but you know
we got to talk about that. Greg had conversations that
you know, it's to you know, you remember that people
were wear the bands that say w W j D
what would Jesus do?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
For a lot of our lives? It was always what
would John say? You know, what would John say? You know,
we got a.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Bit more flexible moral code John, I'll put it that way.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
It's so weird.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
He remember safety first.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
It's like, I don't know, you know, it's kind of
been like that you know, do you want to do that?
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Well, because if you if you do that, at.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Some point, you're going to have to explain it to
John like he was, you know, like he was the
boss of us or in charge of something, and it
was like, you don't want to disappoint John. It's not
like he's ever gonna do anything, right, you know, if
you if you disappointed him, he's gonna be all understanding
(22:53):
and whatnot.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
Well, bro, you know exactly you shot that dude the head.
You know, all he deal was bumpy.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Excuse me, But you know, I don't know, maybe next time,
you know, take a different path, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Well, you know, one of the fastest to me about
our friendship is that we aren't all the same. Like
we are, like we have some commonalities, but our personalities
are distinct. That's why it's just like like both to me,
like Voltron and like yeah, and I.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Just happen to be that form like Vultron. I just
happened to be thehead, isn't right.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Right, That's what I've So that's an important thing to
mention because I think it allows us to be our
own individual self but still comfortable with the group, right
or like individuals like we didn't. I don't ever feel
(24:02):
like I had to kind of like change myself to
get along with Jolly. Doesn't mean we didn't rid each
other about the.
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Right right right.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I never I gotta fear about being myself because of
my God. It was a right space to be who
we are m.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
Exactly. That's that's that's very true.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
And so you know, never, never, at any point along
the way has it been any attending.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I'll put it this way.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Any influence that we've had on each other has been organic,
you know. Otherwise it's you know, this is this, that's
Greg or that's John. I think that's one of the
benefits of true friendship is is that it's that true acceptance, right,
one hundred percent acceptance of who that person is, right.
I think that what's important in that, though, is the
(24:55):
ability to be completely honest with each other, you know,
except I think who that person is, but also being
comfortable enough to say, you know, I love you.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
That's wrong though, having people in your life.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
That are willing to call you out when you want
some bull being you know, secure enough in the relationship
that I can say this and don't have to worry
that you're gonna disappear or you know, you know, you
hear people talk about well, you know, I don't know
if I should say something because if I say something,
they gonna get mad. They ain't gonna speak to me
no more. Well, this is a different type of relationship.
(25:33):
You know, if I completely tick you out, go ahead.
You know, if I completely tick you off, you're gonna
be completely ticked off. But you know, but you're gonna
get over it. You ain't gonna go nowhere and right.
And then even in the way I take you off,
I'm not gonna disrespect you because that's just how we
you know, how we work.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
And so I think that's kind of unique.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I agree, that's.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
But that I think we've really always kind of been
that way, which I think is it's so lasting for
us as well. Is that at any point we really,
you know, like you said, had to feel different about
who we are whenever we're in the midst of each other. Yeah,
and we might have fun about that difference with each
other as well, But it was never malicious, you know,
(26:19):
it was truly fun. And let me help build you up,
you build me up. We keep this thing rocking and
rolling and things you know what I'm saying. So that's
something that speaks to what I call authentic friendship.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Well, it's an interesting thing to talk about, like going
different you know a point. We went kind of different directions,
right John with to Howard being like why is he
going to Howard going to you? And by and me
going to Iowa. And I think we kind of separated
(26:56):
and went in different ways at different places, but I
think you always still wound up reconnecting in a real way.
You know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Man, that's before cell phones and all the stuff that.
You know, you have a much easier way of doing that.
Y'all brothers came down to Howard. I mean, you know again,
like you said, we all in college. Yet somehow we
found that way to say no, come check it out
and everything. And y'all came through checked it out for
(27:25):
a weekend and everything. We had a ball, you know
as well.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Again, one of my most fun things ever was when
we actually went down we went to we drove to
d C to when you went to go move in
for for the orientation.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Yeah, yeah, picture when we were on the that's true.
That was one of the experiences with three of us
going when John John being first is orientation Augusta. That's right, Yeah,
that's a great experience.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right then you catch came down freshman year for spring break,
came to Champagne and that's why Greg was online.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Your line was suspended for spring.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Break, came down, came down, drove down, and then you
know it got a little uncomfortable.
Speaker 5 (28:19):
There when when when you mess.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
Some of your future brothers, and so then we ended
up driving him back to Chicago, right right, a little
short you know, like might not be as u good
idea as we thought.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Let's get this brother up out of here.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Right in retrospect, it was brilliant. They fell up some
relationship with at U of I in part because of that, you.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Know, major life events that shaped us as individuals and
as friends. I'm thinking about Greg. John was the first
and a number of ways, uh, John was the first
one to get married across the country too, that was right,
his first one to get married and the only one.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
To stay married.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
By the way.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
You know, no, I'm married now too, but right I'm
on my second on my second marriage, you.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Know, I did you know, got my upgrade on that wedding.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
That and John asked me to sing a uh yeah,
the wedding it was that was like in retrospect, like
like something from like you'd see from like different world
or you know, or right or something right New Jersey
outside of Phillies.
Speaker 5 (29:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It's just I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
And then with the Philly to hang out. Yeah, fourth
of July.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
In Philly. Yeah, I got to meet more your friends
and and the wife's friends.
Speaker 5 (30:03):
But that was that was a cool trip.
Speaker 4 (30:07):
We came from different places because I was in d
C that summer, that's right. Yep, I was doing an
internship the uh to the Mental Health Law Project later
became the Judge Basilon Center for Mental Health Law.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
But yeah, I was in d C that summer.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
And I had my I had my I had access
to my boss's car because she never drove it. That's
how I drove her car to come up there for
that weekend. Wow, I was her car from d C. Yeah, okay,
I left her all kinds of tickets to deal with
after I was gone.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Oh man, that was highlight mm hmm, because then you're right,
not only just our bond and friendship, but you guys
got to connect with those that I started bonding with
through college.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Expanded the circle and the connections around the circle, because
it's it's interesting how they overlapp despite the fact that
even now we're not physically close to each other, but
our circles are connected and overlap in a lot of ways.
It's interesting all the time that you know, I meet
people that know Greg or get.
Speaker 7 (31:13):
People to be like, hey, I ran to your boy
the other day, Yeah he was in such such you know,
I think that's interesting too when we look at you know,
talk about the friendship over the long haul and now
you know, we're all working.
Speaker 4 (31:25):
Professionals and have been for decades now. For me, it's
cool when I get to see YouTube succeed in some fashion.
You too, you know, get you know, accolades or something
for the work that you're doing. And you know, and
for me it was expected. Havn't known you for decades
and seeing what you do, you know, know where your
(31:47):
mind's at because of the many conversations over the years
and all of that. You know, I expect certain levels
of excellence from you, cats, because you've delivered, you know,
in so many.
Speaker 5 (32:00):
Ways for so long.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
So that's just always, you know, it's not a surprise
when I see you guys succeed in ways. It's just
kind of like, you know, I'm happy for you even
though it's expected.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Kind of Noah, I agree with you, Rick.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
I think it's been amazing how we've known people like
you said that one may be a surprise, but yet
always proud that.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
They bring that up.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's like, hey, I met a good friend of yours, like, oh,
Richard Halloween, why you met rich rich You know, I
was at the door grad school and he was in
law school and I was like get out of here
type deal and things and say with GK folks that
just know or have met you guys, and it's always
(32:46):
just you know, test is puffed out and like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Those are my boys, man, how do the doing?
Speaker 2 (32:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
And the other So yeah, it's always a proud moment
when someone show or say that, yep, I met so
and so, ran and so and so.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
Oh man, that's.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
It I brought to you guys. You know again, we've
gone through it. We've gone through a lot throughout the
years as well, and yet you know, here we still are.
And again the strength, the love, the realness, the laughter,
the intellect, all of that.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Man, it's just absolute joy.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
So no doubt, I got a question for you. But
have you have you always slept in the bed?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
They just threw you with the question, right, He's like, huh,
so a little context for you. For a number of years, Greg,
rarely have ever slept in the bed, or for a
number I don't know how long we were roommates, right,
So I'm just that's what I'm getting that period of
time when Greg and out with roommates after after I
came home from from law school, we ended up being roommates.
(33:47):
And I was just saying that because des cat would
fall asleep in the chair every night.
Speaker 5 (33:51):
You know, I fall asleep in the chair most nights.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
Now.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
You know, I'm a middle aged dude, right.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
I'm fifty six years old, and you know, depending on
what I eat for dinner, on the TV in front
of me, it might be watching me. You know, we
were we were young cats back then. You know where
Greg and roommates. No, he just didn't sleep in the bed.
That dude was up in a chair in the living room.
That was his intended place of falling asleep.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
You know.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
But yeah, that was just kind of my awkward segue
into talking about the fact that Greg and I had
been roommates. You know, when I came from law school,
he was at the crib at his folks crib. I
was at my folks crib for a couple of months
when I first came home from law school, and we
were like, you know, let's get a spot cool. So
we ended up. A buddy of mine that I went
to college with, one of Gregg's fat brothers, had a
(34:37):
three flat uh in South Shore.
Speaker 5 (34:40):
On Adiath and Pakistan.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
So we became Were we the top floor tenants or
the second field to the top floor, because you know,
we didn't want nobody over us. We wanted to be
on time. But we were roommates for We were roommates
until Greg fell in love with heathersed on me one day.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
You got married and then I was ared firm.
Speaker 5 (35:04):
Very okay, father popped up on the.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Same maggany miles, That's what happened.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
No, but yeah, yeah, we had some We had some
nice parties. Man, when gregging out with roommates. You were
at Loyola at that point, you were in where were
you in?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Hint?
Speaker 5 (35:26):
Where were you in Hensdale Nsdale Grange?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, yeah, we went to the grade final was Hensdale
before leaving. Yeah, yeah, y'all had Alex Yeah, and was
like we gotta get out of Chicago now.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
That you finished up. It was like where am I
gonna go? For real? It was like, we're getting up
out of Chicago.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah, Whin's the.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Saale Clinton North Carolina?
Speaker 4 (35:51):
Still do They went out there and bought them accents
and everything.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Carolina.
Speaker 5 (35:58):
That's right, that's it.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
But man, talk about that a little bit boring about
the roommates and and and that.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
How was that because now you're talking about Yeah, it
was called the level of clothes.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
It was hot, it was cool. And it's funny because
we both worked downtown. So you know, we got in
our twenties, you know, working in.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
The city working. Greg worked in City Hall and I was.
Speaker 4 (36:22):
I was right across the street in the Chicago Temple Building,
so working for a small law firm. So yeah, we were.
We were commuting downtown together and home, you know. And
so you know, some days we was on it, some
days we were on the train, some days we were
on the bus, some days we drove. I don't know
what was going on, but yeah, we were right there
in South Shore. It was a cool spot. It was great,
(36:44):
great having the landlord was one of my good friends.
So you know, it was never any issues. It was
a good time. And like I said, we had some
great part We had talked about that. Yeah, like he mentioned,
he mentioned Chuck earlier was the one that you know
that kind of connected us. Chuck wasn't living in Chicago
at that time when we were roommates. She was in Dallas,
I believe or something like that. But he made multiple parties.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, those parties were a lot of fun, man, the
care free nature of it. Like I said, so were
living in south Shore three flat up the neighborhood community.
Holloway would cook. So you know, I'm not a cook
at all, but Halloway would cook a lot. So I
would cheerfully Halloway's food.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
So yeah, it man, that started in college. You know,
we was broke. I was cooking just because that was,
you know, cheaper than buying food all the time. A
lot of times I had multiple roommates and we would
pull money and they didn't cook. I did all the
cooking because you know, I've always said I'm not gonna
be eating nasty food just because you know, if you
(37:48):
can't cook, find our cook. I always said I would
never marry a woman who couldn't cook. You know, if
she couldn't cook, she was gonna have to spend six
months at home with her mama learning, Or if mama
couldn't cook, she was gonna have to spend some time
with my mom because you know, we won't gonna be
eating nasty food or going out to eat every night
if I'm not cooking.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
So yeah, that was That was a cool time.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Because we both worked downtown in close proximity. We hung
out a lot. We hung out, We ate lunch. Greg
and I went to lunch probably three times a week
as well, you know, because we were so close in
proximity at work, and especially in the warm weather months.
You know, we're in downtown Chicago, so you know, it's
so when the weather's nice, we were we would we
would go to lunch. You know, we would toss some
(38:31):
food down real fast to get some nourishment.
Speaker 5 (38:33):
But we'd spend most of.
Speaker 4 (38:34):
Our lunch time just walking around downtown because it was
just beautiful sights to see all day long.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Single man in the nineties working downtown with like with.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
A few dollars in your pocket, you know what, So
you know, wow especially, I mean it was like, you
know how if you watching like Discovery Channel and and
and the seasons and when springs coming, the animals get
all bouncy and and everything, you know, and jumping around,
hopping the young ones.
Speaker 5 (39:07):
It's it's spring and they're all excited.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
That's how we were when when the weather first broke,
Because when the weather frost broke in Chicago, sisters just
would have, you know, as little on as possible. It
was like they had been pent up all winter and
had to have on all these clothes, and you know,
as soon as the weather broke, it was like, I'm
going to be as close to naked as I can
(39:29):
as work will allow, you know. So those those first
couple of weeks where you know, it was like fertile
hunting season or whatever, you know, right, like in Discovery
Channel terms.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
But so we would be out there all day.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
It was a time and I think by the end
of it, Holloway got married, left me at the big
old apartment by myself, and then later on, you know,
I transitioned out of that. But that experience of us,
you know, sort of living together and just being young
men in the city. Was is the important part of
my life story?
Speaker 5 (40:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:03):
That was.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
You know, I think it definitely made us closer.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
You don't have a choice when you live with somebody, right,
you're going to learn more about that other person. It's
either gonna make it closer or it's gonna really push
you apart one the other.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Right.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
And for the record, they still on the couch so.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Your comfort zone.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
Do by beds just to have one there, you know,
so he could show some sort of you.
Speaker 5 (40:29):
Know, social conformity. Yes, yes, I have a bed. What
do you mean.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
On the couch? Boy? It's hard to get up.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
How rare is a forty plus youre of friendship? And
what advice would you give to others? You know, I
know a lot of people that have these, you know,
long term friendships, you know, So I don't know if
it's really rare, but I think they're all special.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
The ones that are are those true?
Speaker 4 (40:56):
And I don't think you can have a friendship for
forty years that isn't a true friendship.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Or if you do that, then that's kind of a shame.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
No, I agree, And you know, and there's gonna be
times throughout that there's gonna be things that we're not
on the same page about, or something you know that's
going on that we have different viewpoints.
Speaker 3 (41:13):
About as well.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
But the beauty of that is that we'll have our
conversation about it. You know, we'll respect each other's opinion
on what that is, and you know, we keep it moving.
Next thing, you know, something that came up that made
us have a laugh about something again, talking about sports
or something else that's going on in the world. And
I think that's the beauty of friendship. And I think
that the longevity is not necessarily what defines the greatness
(41:37):
of the friendship. It's the it's just being able to
know that you have that connection with someone that truly
is real, that each one can be their own person
within that and not feel like they have to be
someone else in order to fit in it, because if
you do, then that's friendship or relationship.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
That's just it's not going to last.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
We've been separated, we were different parts of the of
the nation, on the world, and yet always find ways
to get together.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Traveling coming into town.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
You know, it's like, hey, what's going on, But it
feels like we just talked yesterday. You know, it never
feels like dag, it's been so long, what's been going on?
It's like, no, you know, what's up our so and
so house to fad with you up to what's going
on here and there, and it just always feels like
it's right down the street type deal.
Speaker 4 (42:32):
And that's I think the pandemic did kind of change things,
and I think for us in a positive way. I
think we increased our communication as a result of the pandemic.
We started texting a lot more, We started facetiming, you know,
especially when it was right in the midst of it,
(42:52):
you know, making sure, you know, checking on each other
and making sure to support each other. I think that
level the communication increased during the pandemic, and I think
in some respects it's kind of stayed there.
Speaker 5 (43:05):
So I think that was a positive.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's right. You know, it's a
way when you talk about the longevity question, I think
it's cool right to say that it's been all this time,
but we've all changed so much over that period of time,
And for me, I appreciate the fact that it always
feels like a comfortable space. I always feel like, you know,
(43:28):
you get to be our age Nostalgia is a valuable thing, right,
and so to be able to reflect on past and
you know, and of course the other thing for me
is laughter. Yeah, the trash talking and the jokes about
each other and other things. You know, you could be
in a bad mood and a little trash talking amongst
(43:49):
each other really really will lift my spirits.
Speaker 5 (43:52):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And you know, like I said earlier, this is more
than family. I mean to my kids y'all and uncle,
you know, to them, and no matter where I'm in
the world, where they are in the world, if you're there,
I already know that they're taking care of you know
as well. And I mean that that is also the
beauty of this. And we've done this, like I said,
this is you know, before cell phones and emails and
(44:16):
all that stuff came out and none of us were
no writing brus so we weren't up there writing letters
and all that kind of stuff either.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
But hey, we freshman year freshman year of college.
Speaker 4 (44:29):
Do you remember back then, when you know, how you
could when they used to pass around the numbers, the
phone numbers, the codes.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
You remember the.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
Yeah, and if you could get a hold of the code,
everybody was sharing that same one until it got run out.
That I remember, I used to that was the only
time I could call y'all. When we get ahold one
of those numbers, that was still good.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
That's true. I remember that I.
Speaker 4 (44:56):
Used to call y'all. I used to call Kim all
the time as well.
Speaker 5 (44:59):
Kim.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
We refreshment, you know, just away from home for the
first time and all of that.
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah, that was that worked out really well.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
You know, I don't know whose numbers those were, but
you know, SHELL appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Absolutely, all true, all true.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
So I'm gonna say, you know, I think we were
closing in on that hour, so it's about the time.
So I'm gonna We've talked about a lot of different things.
There's of course a million things that we didn't touch on,
and as soon as we leave, you know, didn't think
other things are gonna pop into the dome and be like,
oh I didn't I talk about that. Oh I did
not talk about this. That's what comes with with forty
three years, right, this is twenty twenty five, so it's
(45:41):
forty two and change because we would have met in
the fall of eighty two.
Speaker 5 (45:45):
So that's that's a lot of years and a lot
of stuff.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
So you know, we'll just say, you know, to the
listeners out there, we appreciate you all.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Do you have lifelong friendships? What have kept your friendship strong?
How your interest changed over the years.
Speaker 4 (45:59):
How you back at your younger selves, not individually, but
with those friendships and all of that. What does that
look like, you know, from brotherhood and fatherhood or you know,
how things have changed, you know, think about some of that,
ponder that and take a moment to appreciate what's special
about those relationships you know, and don't ever take them
(46:20):
for granted because they're not promised.
Speaker 5 (46:22):
Again, this is wrong. To find the gentleman's out and
our hours up
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