July 27, 2025 • 32 mins
The Brothers are taking a short summer break from their usual format, but didn’t want to go quiet, so they put together this asynchronous episode all about summer fun, summer travel, and taking full advantage of all that your local hometown has to offer. As always this episode is brought to you by www.holvertravel.com, Your Passport to Paradise!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Raw and Refine, the Gentleman's out where we're
going to have conversation with middle aged black men about
what's going on. We welcome you to listen, comment and like,
and hopefully encourage others to join for future conversations as well.
We always like to start off with a toast, and
(00:26):
with that toast, it's because we are gentlemen and we
do it Raw and Refine.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, everybody, this is rich. First off, the drink of
choice is your favorite summer beverage, whatever that may be.
For me, that's a Hendrix and Tonic with some cucumber
and a little bit of line. So we're doing something
a little different today, Greg, John and I are taking
a short summer break from our regular format, but we
didn't want to go quiet, so we're bringing you something
(00:57):
lighter but just as real. Reflect on summer joy, exploring
your own city and why it matters, especially for men
like us. You'll hear our voices throughout, responding to some
questions we've each answered in our own time and way.
So let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
What does summer mean to me today as opposed to
what it used to mean? Well, for me, summer is
definitely a different time than it used to be as
a child. As a child, we look forward to summer
as a time of a break from school, a time
(01:40):
to go enjoy the wonders of the world and don't
have to worry about an assignment that needed to be done,
hanging out with friends, bicycling, going to the pool, and
just enjoying what the weather gave us. Nowadays, summer is
just a different time of the year. If you have children,
(02:03):
it may still be that time as a break in
order to be able to go enjoy family and give
the kids an experience that is not related to school
in some cases, but since our kids are grown, summer
is again just another time of the year. It's a
little bit hotter, maybe some extra storms, but still an
(02:26):
enjoyable time. Sometimes we're able to get away and enjoy
just what life has to offer. But now it's just
not limited to the summer break.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What does summer mean to me today versus when I
was younger. I think they mean pretty much the same
thing to me in that it's a time for fun,
It's a time to be outside. It's a time to
really enjoy the weather and nature. Being in Chicago Land
(03:00):
and the summer is special because it's cold for half
the year, So the summer has always been about trying
to really get it in and enjoy as much as
I could.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
What summer means to me today versus what it meant
to me when I was a kid. Wow, Today, summer
means warm weather, it means at least the idea of vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It means the lakefront.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
City of Chicago, and it means summertime shy, which if
you know, you know. But for me as a kid,
summertime meant being outside all day, riding the bikes, playing
baseball usually or some kind of baseball, softball, some sport
(03:56):
like that, and it just meant just good times all
the time. And summertime is really the best time to
have grown up in Chicago. Summertime, to me also means
taking it easy. It means that you move at a
pace that's different than the fall, or the spring or
even the winter. Of course, summertime just ultimately means trying
(04:20):
to get as close to nature as often as you
can and to enjoy the elements, even if it's a
really hot day.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Make it your.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Business to enjoy all of the joy that summertime can bring.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Do I have a childhood memory of summer that still
makes me smile. The first memory that popped in my
head just now was of crab apple fights. I grew
up on a block with a lot of kids all
around the same age, so we had a built in
football team, basketball team, or whatever. You know. We had
(05:01):
that many kids on the block and we would sometimes
have these epic crab apple fights, And in this particular one,
my buddy Oliver's older brother was playing with us. It
was about three of us with his older brother versus
(05:22):
about ten of the other kids. But at the end
of the battle, Maury lit up our buddy Kelly from
the other side of the street the perfectly thrown, perfectly
ripe crab apple that exploded right in his face, and
we all just died laughing. We'll never forget that. When
(05:45):
I think of freedom in the summer, what comes to
mind is freedom of time, freedom of choice to move
around the way I want to show. The freedom in
the or would ideally mean vacation. Do you approach your
time in the summer differently than the rest of the year.
(06:10):
I would say I definitely treat my time differently in
the summer. For one I like to take walks, but
I don't like to take walks when it's cold the
days are longer. I try to get in as much
quality time throughout the day as I can and just
(06:31):
generally do fun things.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What does a lazy summer day look like? Now, that's
an interesting question. I would say that a lazy summer
day is one that could be filled with just sitting
around and binging on Netflix or any other video streaming
(06:56):
app that we have.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It may be.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Sitting out and just to enjoying a good weather day
and maybe just listening to music and just relaxing, or
reading a book that I'm finally getting to. Whatever it is,
it's usually just a relaxing time.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
A lazy summer day would be starting kind of early
with a leisurely walked through the park, a nice breakfast
before that, and just chilling in my backyard looking out
at the water, listening to the sounds of nature, firing
up the grill, and just hanging out with the missus
(07:43):
all day.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Why do you think it's hard for black men to
take a break even when we need it. I think
that's a great question, and it may come down to
being instilled in us at it. If we're taking a
break or resting, then we're not being productive. But that's
(08:09):
a fallacy because our bodies need rest. We need to
be able to take breaks physically and mentally in order
to be productive, especially in today's world. Don't look negatively
about taking a break. It actually refuels your soul and
(08:34):
refills your joy and your heart. So please take those
moments as you can and are able, because you need it.
We need it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I think we've been programmed to do. I think we've
been programmed to try to fulfilled needs, to do what
needs to be done, and as a result, we often
put ourselves last. And so if something needs to be done,
(09:11):
if bill's got to be paid, whatever, I think we're
programmed to just do, to keep going and to not
put our needs first.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I think that it's ingrained in you from a young
age to not rest or to not relax.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think we're taught to work and work and work.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
And that if you aren't working, you're being being lazy
or you're being a piker. And so I do think
because of those reasons, resting relaxing can be a challenge
certainly for you know, I think people in general, but
I think Black men in particular are sensitive to this
notion of laziness in a way that other folks may
(10:00):
not be as triggered by, and so we're always trying
to at least pretend to be busy. But that also
gets in the way of our ability to truly relax
and take it easy, which we all need to do sometimes.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
What's the difference between rest and escape? Us can occur
anywhere at any time for me, whereas escape it's totally different.
I mean, for one, it's built into the word right.
Escape means to go somewhere, to get away, to step
(10:34):
away from, avoid, evade, elude something someone somewhere, some feelings.
So you can escape from reality. You can escape from
your work schedule, you can escape from your routine. Those
(10:55):
things don't necessarily involve rest. I think you can escape
and rest, or you can rest without escaping. But ultimately
I think rest is generally more important because it's something
that we need to recharge our batteries, so to speak,
(11:20):
on a regular and consistent basis.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
When do you know that it's time to recharge? I
think for me, it's when everything starts to feel like
a weight on your shoulders. It's when life is lifing,
and you just don't feel like there's a break. You
(11:45):
feel pressure, you don't feel happiness, you don't feel the
joy of all that's going on around you. If you're
getting to that point, you're on empty and it's time
to take a break, relax and recharge.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
What activities actually filled my cup in the summer? Well.
Number one on that list every year is Chosen Few.
Every July, the Chosen Few DJs of their annual house
music Picnic. It was on the twelfth of July this year,
(12:30):
so just recently, about forty thousand people in the park
House music DJ is going every hour from eight am
to ten pm, you know, hanging out with brands, family,
just having a great time, seeing people I haven't seen
for decades. I ran into a brother I haven't seen
(12:51):
since nineteen eighty six. So that's an annual major recharge event. Additionally,
call every summer the Summer of Sound because every summer
we do a slate of concerts at Ravenia here in
the Chicago Land area, So concerts at this outdoor perth
(13:14):
every year. You know, we're out there bringing our food,
out there with friends on the lawn, listening to great music.
Seeing incredible performances, so that's another one. And then just
you know, getting together with friends and family as much
as possible outside and joy everything that's happening, you know,
(13:35):
in the environment.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Since I live in Chicago and summer is really only
about ten or eleven weeks, I try to enjoy it
as much as possible, try to get outside as much
as possible as we say, we outside because you know,
when summer is gone, ready for fall, which by the way, hasn't.
Our falls have been pretty temperate lately, but still there's
(14:01):
nothing like the warmth and the sun of eighty degrees
and being outside in Chicago. So the goal is to
enjoy it and be out amongst the elements as much
as possible. And that's my goal over these next maybe
five six weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Do I have any summer solo rituals. I do have
a solo ritual. It's a spring and summer ritual and
actually into the fall a little bit. But I try
to walk on a daily basis. There's a nice park
not far from my home. I work out about every
(14:40):
other day at the gym, so on days that I
work out, I walk about a mile. But on the
days where I don't work out. I try to walk
somewhere between two and three miles, and it's a great
way for me to connect with nature, to recharge myself spiritually,
to connect with the ancestors as I'm walk in and
(15:01):
kind of doing a walking meditation. So that's my solo
summer activity. When it's nice and hot, you know, I
get out there with my shirt off so that I
don't get the farmer's tan.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Of course, my solo sum solo adventures in the summer
or activity in the summer is running. I have to
get out to the lakefront and run, particularly when it's
a nice summer day. There's nothing quite like the feeling
of running along the lakefront path in the summer, especially
(15:35):
when it's really hot. It's definitely my favorite thing to do.
But I also occasionally like to drink coffee, and so
I will go to have some coffee my neighborhood spot
and take my time and do some people watching, which
are things that are so much fun to do in
the summer.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
How do you carve our space for joy even during
a busy season, Well, I think you have to be
intentional about it. One thing I have conversations about is
that no one gives you that time. You have to
be intentional about making that time in order to rejuvenate,
(16:22):
because again, your body needs that rest, your mind needs
that ability to take a break. In order to be
a productive and useful person in today's society, you have
to understand who you are in order to know when
(16:43):
it's time. Others may be able to encourage you by
letting you know, hey, how you doing today? Is anything
going on you may really want to think about taking
that vacation. Be encouraged by those comments. What's one hidden
(17:08):
gym in my little city of Winston Salem. Well, I
think we have a few. We have areas that are
filled with nature and able to go out hiking or bicycling.
We have areas that talk about old Moravian history, like
(17:29):
Old Salem. We also have a summer series of free
concerts from pop, rock, r and B country jazz, all
of which that occur and gives everybody an opportunity to enjoy.
(17:51):
We have the Winston Salem Dash minor League baseball team,
which is actually a feeder to the Chicago White Sox.
There are so many different things that are going on
in the city that we just sometimes have to go
and find it. One really important gym, though, is every
(18:14):
other summer we have the Black Theater Festival come to town,
and that's just a great time for about a week
or more where you're able to see some exciting on
and off Broadway plays pretty much experienced with a cast
(18:34):
of color, and then they're just hanging out in the city.
They're approachable and you can say hello to them and
at times even get an autograph or a picture as well.
So those are just a few things that I think
are exciting about my little city.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
What was my ideal weekend in my home city look
like if money weren't a concern, well, all expense paid
or money's no object. Weekend in the summertime in Chicago
would involve some incredible food at about six different places
(19:15):
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It would involve some time
on the water. It might involve some time down at
Navy Pier or something like that, but would also definitely
involve connecting with friends over drinks at different places along
the way over the course of that weekend. And then
(19:38):
if money was no object, I'm sure there could possibly
be a little stopping in there for the missus or
some other sightseeing type of things, but mainly a whole
lot of good eating and listening to good music. There's
going to be so many spots to go to.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I don't wanna put too fine a point on it,
but summertime shy really is a real thing. The city
is just a totally different place in the summer time
than any other time of the year. There's so much
going on, so many neighborhood festivals, so many just random
pop up parties outside. It's really hard to overstate that
(20:25):
seven summertime shy is a real thing. And if you
spend any time in Chicago in the summer, you know
this to be true. Whether it's the lake front, you know,
one of the piers like Pier thirty one, or just
the parks, it's truly blessed in the summer time and
we all try to take full advantage of it. One
(20:48):
of the hidden gems in Chicago that people don't always
know about is the Japanese Gardens, which are located just
behind the Museum of Science and Industry.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
It's beautiful place.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
That in the springtime sprouts cherry blossoms, and in the
summertime it's just full of greenery, you've got the museum.
It's just a beautiful place. It's literally the Japanese Gardens
because the Japanese government donated the cherry blossoms and it
was designed, I believe by folks from Japan. So it's
(21:22):
a beautiful place. Not a lot of people know about it.
I like it that way, but but it's truly one
of the gems, and it's on the South side.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Why do I think people often overlook us in their
own backyard. I think the routine takes over. When it's
something that we're used to, it's right there, we tend
to take it for granted because you see it every day,
right So the things in the neighborhood, the things that
are close by, they don't have that same allure, that
same draw, that idea of going somewhere and seeing something,
(21:55):
Oh yeah, that's always been there, you know. So I
think that kind of plays into it can easily take
for granted or overlook those local gyms that are right
there because they've always been right there.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Why do I think people overlook what's amazing about their cities?
And I think it's because it's where we live, and unfortunately,
sometimes we don't go out and experience where we live
as a visitor because we feel like, oh, I'll get
(22:33):
to that someday, and then we know that years have
passed and we still haven't gotten there yet. So one
thing I think I've learned, especially from my time in Chicago,
was that there was so much to see in Chicago,
and I think I always thought, oh, I'll get to
(22:53):
it at some point, but at some point rarely ever comes.
So when you have opportunities to explore your city, please
explore it. There are museums, there are parks, there are restaurants,
they're shopping. There's just so much culture that can be
(23:15):
going on around your city that we just miss out
on because we think about, oh, someday I'll get to it.
For some someday never comes. So again, take time, either
go alone, or go with friends, or go with loved ones,
(23:36):
and just sharing the joy of what your city really
does have to offer.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
My one travel plan that I've started to make every
year over these last five or six years or so
has been to go to Newport, Rhode Island for the
Newport Jazz Festival. It's far and away my favorite thing
to do in the summer, and it's coming up here
(24:02):
in the next couple of weeks, so I'm looking very
much looking forward to it. It's obviously a jazz festival,
so there's all kind of really cool music. But Newport
is a whole vibe. It's in the northeast. You can
ferry to Martha's Vineyard, you could ferry up to Cape Cod.
The weather's usually perfect, and it's just the whole thing.
(24:24):
It's you know, you get people from all over the
country and perhaps the world there and so it's become
kind of an annual travel destination for me. And yeah,
between Newport and Martha's Vineyard, and by the way, you
could literally take a ferry from Newport to Martha's Vineyard
and vice versa. I have yet to do that, usually
(24:46):
have done it on different trips. Well, one day, hopefully
I'll be able to do both. But yeah, Newport Jazz
Festival is the best travel destination in the summer for me.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's your eye summer escape? Well, I think that changes
with the mood that I'm in or where maybe I
have or haven't been. So I say that to say
that sometimes I'm in for going to the beach or
to a place where i can just sit and relax
(25:21):
by a pool in a tropical area, or a resort,
a place where I might do an excursion, or honestly,
I might just want to sit around and relax and
enjoy the Caribbean air. Aruba is that one place for me.
But there are times where I might enjoy going to
(25:43):
the big city, going to see a concert or going
to a game, maybe do a little shopping, or maybe
just enjoy the restaurants of the big city. And then
there may be a time when I might want to
check out the mountains, maybe enjoy some hiking trips. I'll
(26:04):
be honest, I don't fish, though, so they can leave
that for those that do. But maybe hiking, enjoying the stars.
I would love to see the northern lights. I think
something like that would just be amazing as well.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Do I travel differently now than I did in my
twenties and thirties. Definitely. For one, Now I travel with
my wife. In my twenties and thirties, I tend to
travel more with my friends. I think now I'm not
looking for excursions necessarily. I'm good with relaxing and chilling somewhere.
(26:47):
I'm not as excited to go and explore necessarily. As much,
maybe as I did in my twenties and thirties, and
then just a lot more laid back. I think I'm
more focused on what I'm eating and where I'm eating,
and you know, getting really good food in different places,
whereas before that was probably less of a concern. Then again,
(27:09):
on average, I taking more expensive trips than I did
in my twenties and thirties.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Is there one summer travel trip that I haven't checked
off yet? I think it's a European trip. I really
would like to go experience France and Spain, along with
Italy and Greece. I think being in the Mediterranean area
(27:35):
would be just beautiful and amazing. I also wouldn't mind
at some point taking a trip to Africa as well.
I haven't done that yet, and from what I've heard,
it's just a beautiful place to visit because of the
appreciation of who you are and learning more about where
(27:56):
our ancestors are from. I think those would be two
of amazing places that I still have on my travel plans,
but just trying to still put that together.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
What's one travel lesson that has stuck with me? I
think being prepared for anything that's stuck with me. There
have been some times on past trips where it was
necessary to be spontaneous to avoid potentially uncomfortable situations or
to take advantage of an unopportunity that pops up. So
(28:29):
be prepared, have all your ducks in a row. If
you're out of the country, do your research, do your homework,
put yourself in a position to enjoy the locals and
to be respectful of the local culture so that you
can have that best experience and find local food, local
holes in the wall type spots where the locals are
(28:51):
going to eat.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
That's so important. I think it's preparation. I think it's
understanding and doing at least a little recent search about
where you're going, as well as what do you really
want to do while you're there. I think that if
your plans are just to relax, then you really do
not need to pack much. But if you're planning on
(29:15):
doing some excursions or night life or different restaurants or
things that a nature that require a different dress up,
then you need to plan for that and be careful
about overpacking.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I think that's the one thing is that we all
know how to overpack. We do have to be better
about that. As well. As I reflect on this conversation
about summertime and recognizing the joys of the cities that
we live in, I think about summertime just as a
(29:53):
concept versus as a specific.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Time of the year.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
For me, summertime is not like how it used to
be as I was a child. I think of vacation
as my summertime. And therefore, whenever you're getting ready to
take those breaks, whenever you're getting ready to recharge, whenever
you're getting ready to just have a great time and
enjoy yourself in places that you haven't been or in
(30:21):
the place where you are currently living, or it be
that you're just getting ready to enjoy times with people
you love, then that's your summertime. One of the songs
I like to put on is by will Smith Summertime,
and I just enjoy the lyrics of that and it
gets me in that spirit, in that mood of hey,
(30:42):
it's just a moment in our mind. It's a moment
to be able to relax and rejuvenate and hopefully refill
that energy for us to be happy and productive have
a great summer.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
So if there's one piece of advice I'd give to
folks about summer. Enjoy it as much as you can,
because it just does not last long enough, at least
in places like Chicago. There's a song by Grover Washington
Junior called Summer Song, and the lyrics go, sing that
summer song soon it will be gone.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Catch that fever.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Now watch, I'll show you how against Summer's Song by
Grover Washington Junior, who's from Philly. By the way, that's
the one summer song that I often think about. And
the other one is Summer Madness Cooling the Gang. It's
another one, Seevie wonders, Summer Soft And they all speak
to this notion of summer being fleeting, that it doesn't
(31:40):
last forever, and that you need to enjoy it as
much as you can.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Thanks for hanging out with us for this summertime episode
of Raw and Refined The Gentleman's Hour. Whether you're traveling
the world or just walk in your neighborhood, we help
you're finding little moments of joy and rest. We'll be
back with a full episode soon, but until then, please
(32:08):
take care of yourselves and enjoy the moment.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
We out
Welcome to Raw and Refine, the Gentleman's out where we're
going to have conversation with middle aged black men about
what's going on. We welcome you to listen, comment and like,
and hopefully encourage others to join for future conversations as well.
We always like to start off with a toast, and
(00:26):
with that toast, it's because we are gentlemen and we
do it Raw and Refine.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, everybody, this is rich. First off, the drink of
choice is your favorite summer beverage, whatever that may be.
For me, that's a Hendrix and Tonic with some cucumber
and a little bit of line. So we're doing something
a little different today, Greg, John and I are taking
a short summer break from our regular format, but we
didn't want to go quiet, so we're bringing you something
(00:57):
lighter but just as real. Reflect on summer joy, exploring
your own city and why it matters, especially for men
like us. You'll hear our voices throughout, responding to some
questions we've each answered in our own time and way.
So let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
What does summer mean to me today as opposed to
what it used to mean? Well, for me, summer is
definitely a different time than it used to be as
a child. As a child, we look forward to summer
as a time of a break from school, a time
(01:40):
to go enjoy the wonders of the world and don't
have to worry about an assignment that needed to be done,
hanging out with friends, bicycling, going to the pool, and
just enjoying what the weather gave us. Nowadays, summer is
just a different time of the year. If you have children,
(02:03):
it may still be that time as a break in
order to be able to go enjoy family and give
the kids an experience that is not related to school
in some cases, but since our kids are grown, summer
is again just another time of the year. It's a
little bit hotter, maybe some extra storms, but still an
(02:26):
enjoyable time. Sometimes we're able to get away and enjoy
just what life has to offer. But now it's just
not limited to the summer break.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What does summer mean to me today versus when I
was younger. I think they mean pretty much the same
thing to me in that it's a time for fun,
It's a time to be outside. It's a time to
really enjoy the weather and nature. Being in Chicago Land
(03:00):
and the summer is special because it's cold for half
the year, So the summer has always been about trying
to really get it in and enjoy as much as
I could.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
What summer means to me today versus what it meant
to me when I was a kid. Wow, Today, summer
means warm weather, it means at least the idea of vacation.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
It means the lakefront.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
City of Chicago, and it means summertime shy, which if
you know, you know. But for me as a kid,
summertime meant being outside all day, riding the bikes, playing
baseball usually or some kind of baseball, softball, some sport
(03:56):
like that, and it just meant just good times all
the time. And summertime is really the best time to
have grown up in Chicago. Summertime, to me also means
taking it easy. It means that you move at a
pace that's different than the fall, or the spring or
even the winter. Of course, summertime just ultimately means trying
(04:20):
to get as close to nature as often as you
can and to enjoy the elements, even if it's a
really hot day.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Make it your.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Business to enjoy all of the joy that summertime can bring.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Do I have a childhood memory of summer that still
makes me smile. The first memory that popped in my
head just now was of crab apple fights. I grew
up on a block with a lot of kids all
around the same age, so we had a built in
football team, basketball team, or whatever. You know. We had
(05:01):
that many kids on the block and we would sometimes
have these epic crab apple fights, And in this particular one,
my buddy Oliver's older brother was playing with us. It
was about three of us with his older brother versus
(05:22):
about ten of the other kids. But at the end
of the battle, Maury lit up our buddy Kelly from
the other side of the street the perfectly thrown, perfectly
ripe crab apple that exploded right in his face, and
we all just died laughing. We'll never forget that. When
(05:45):
I think of freedom in the summer, what comes to
mind is freedom of time, freedom of choice to move
around the way I want to show. The freedom in
the or would ideally mean vacation. Do you approach your
time in the summer differently than the rest of the year.
(06:10):
I would say I definitely treat my time differently in
the summer. For one I like to take walks, but
I don't like to take walks when it's cold the
days are longer. I try to get in as much
quality time throughout the day as I can and just
(06:31):
generally do fun things.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
What does a lazy summer day look like? Now, that's
an interesting question. I would say that a lazy summer
day is one that could be filled with just sitting
around and binging on Netflix or any other video streaming
(06:56):
app that we have.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It may be.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Sitting out and just to enjoying a good weather day
and maybe just listening to music and just relaxing, or
reading a book that I'm finally getting to. Whatever it is,
it's usually just a relaxing time.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
A lazy summer day would be starting kind of early
with a leisurely walked through the park, a nice breakfast
before that, and just chilling in my backyard looking out
at the water, listening to the sounds of nature, firing
up the grill, and just hanging out with the missus
(07:43):
all day.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Why do you think it's hard for black men to
take a break even when we need it. I think
that's a great question, and it may come down to
being instilled in us at it. If we're taking a
break or resting, then we're not being productive. But that's
(08:09):
a fallacy because our bodies need rest. We need to
be able to take breaks physically and mentally in order
to be productive, especially in today's world. Don't look negatively
about taking a break. It actually refuels your soul and
(08:34):
refills your joy and your heart. So please take those
moments as you can and are able, because you need it.
We need it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I think we've been programmed to do. I think we've
been programmed to try to fulfilled needs, to do what
needs to be done, and as a result, we often
put ourselves last. And so if something needs to be done,
(09:11):
if bill's got to be paid, whatever, I think we're
programmed to just do, to keep going and to not
put our needs first.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I think that it's ingrained in you from a young
age to not rest or to not relax.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think we're taught to work and work and work.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
And that if you aren't working, you're being being lazy
or you're being a piker. And so I do think
because of those reasons, resting relaxing can be a challenge
certainly for you know, I think people in general, but
I think Black men in particular are sensitive to this
notion of laziness in a way that other folks may
(10:00):
not be as triggered by, and so we're always trying
to at least pretend to be busy. But that also
gets in the way of our ability to truly relax
and take it easy, which we all need to do sometimes.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
What's the difference between rest and escape? Us can occur
anywhere at any time for me, whereas escape it's totally different.
I mean, for one, it's built into the word right.
Escape means to go somewhere, to get away, to step
(10:34):
away from, avoid, evade, elude something someone somewhere, some feelings.
So you can escape from reality. You can escape from
your work schedule, you can escape from your routine. Those
(10:55):
things don't necessarily involve rest. I think you can escape
and rest, or you can rest without escaping. But ultimately
I think rest is generally more important because it's something
that we need to recharge our batteries, so to speak,
(11:20):
on a regular and consistent basis.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
When do you know that it's time to recharge? I
think for me, it's when everything starts to feel like
a weight on your shoulders. It's when life is lifing,
and you just don't feel like there's a break. You
(11:45):
feel pressure, you don't feel happiness, you don't feel the
joy of all that's going on around you. If you're
getting to that point, you're on empty and it's time
to take a break, relax and recharge.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
What activities actually filled my cup in the summer? Well.
Number one on that list every year is Chosen Few.
Every July, the Chosen Few DJs of their annual house
music Picnic. It was on the twelfth of July this year,
(12:30):
so just recently, about forty thousand people in the park
House music DJ is going every hour from eight am
to ten pm, you know, hanging out with brands, family,
just having a great time, seeing people I haven't seen
for decades. I ran into a brother I haven't seen
(12:51):
since nineteen eighty six. So that's an annual major recharge event. Additionally,
call every summer the Summer of Sound because every summer
we do a slate of concerts at Ravenia here in
the Chicago Land area, So concerts at this outdoor perth
(13:14):
every year. You know, we're out there bringing our food,
out there with friends on the lawn, listening to great music.
Seeing incredible performances, so that's another one. And then just
you know, getting together with friends and family as much
as possible outside and joy everything that's happening, you know,
(13:35):
in the environment.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Since I live in Chicago and summer is really only
about ten or eleven weeks, I try to enjoy it
as much as possible, try to get outside as much
as possible as we say, we outside because you know,
when summer is gone, ready for fall, which by the way, hasn't.
Our falls have been pretty temperate lately, but still there's
(14:01):
nothing like the warmth and the sun of eighty degrees
and being outside in Chicago. So the goal is to
enjoy it and be out amongst the elements as much
as possible. And that's my goal over these next maybe
five six weeks.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Do I have any summer solo rituals. I do have
a solo ritual. It's a spring and summer ritual and
actually into the fall a little bit. But I try
to walk on a daily basis. There's a nice park
not far from my home. I work out about every
(14:40):
other day at the gym, so on days that I
work out, I walk about a mile. But on the
days where I don't work out. I try to walk
somewhere between two and three miles, and it's a great
way for me to connect with nature, to recharge myself spiritually,
to connect with the ancestors as I'm walk in and
(15:01):
kind of doing a walking meditation. So that's my solo
summer activity. When it's nice and hot, you know, I
get out there with my shirt off so that I
don't get the farmer's tan.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Of course, my solo sum solo adventures in the summer
or activity in the summer is running. I have to
get out to the lakefront and run, particularly when it's
a nice summer day. There's nothing quite like the feeling
of running along the lakefront path in the summer, especially
(15:35):
when it's really hot. It's definitely my favorite thing to do.
But I also occasionally like to drink coffee, and so
I will go to have some coffee my neighborhood spot
and take my time and do some people watching, which
are things that are so much fun to do in
the summer.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
How do you carve our space for joy even during
a busy season, Well, I think you have to be
intentional about it. One thing I have conversations about is
that no one gives you that time. You have to
be intentional about making that time in order to rejuvenate,
(16:22):
because again, your body needs that rest, your mind needs
that ability to take a break. In order to be
a productive and useful person in today's society, you have
to understand who you are in order to know when
(16:43):
it's time. Others may be able to encourage you by
letting you know, hey, how you doing today? Is anything
going on you may really want to think about taking
that vacation. Be encouraged by those comments. What's one hidden
(17:08):
gym in my little city of Winston Salem. Well, I
think we have a few. We have areas that are
filled with nature and able to go out hiking or bicycling.
We have areas that talk about old Moravian history, like
(17:29):
Old Salem. We also have a summer series of free
concerts from pop, rock, r and B country jazz, all
of which that occur and gives everybody an opportunity to enjoy.
(17:51):
We have the Winston Salem Dash minor League baseball team,
which is actually a feeder to the Chicago White Sox.
There are so many different things that are going on
in the city that we just sometimes have to go
and find it. One really important gym, though, is every
(18:14):
other summer we have the Black Theater Festival come to town,
and that's just a great time for about a week
or more where you're able to see some exciting on
and off Broadway plays pretty much experienced with a cast
(18:34):
of color, and then they're just hanging out in the city.
They're approachable and you can say hello to them and
at times even get an autograph or a picture as well.
So those are just a few things that I think
are exciting about my little city.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
What was my ideal weekend in my home city look
like if money weren't a concern, well, all expense paid
or money's no object. Weekend in the summertime in Chicago
would involve some incredible food at about six different places
(19:15):
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It would involve some time
on the water. It might involve some time down at
Navy Pier or something like that, but would also definitely
involve connecting with friends over drinks at different places along
the way over the course of that weekend. And then
(19:38):
if money was no object, I'm sure there could possibly
be a little stopping in there for the missus or
some other sightseeing type of things, but mainly a whole
lot of good eating and listening to good music. There's
going to be so many spots to go to.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
I don't wanna put too fine a point on it,
but summertime shy really is a real thing. The city
is just a totally different place in the summer time
than any other time of the year. There's so much
going on, so many neighborhood festivals, so many just random
pop up parties outside. It's really hard to overstate that
(20:25):
seven summertime shy is a real thing. And if you
spend any time in Chicago in the summer, you know
this to be true. Whether it's the lake front, you know,
one of the piers like Pier thirty one, or just
the parks, it's truly blessed in the summer time and
we all try to take full advantage of it. One
(20:48):
of the hidden gems in Chicago that people don't always
know about is the Japanese Gardens, which are located just
behind the Museum of Science and Industry.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
It's beautiful place.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
That in the springtime sprouts cherry blossoms, and in the
summertime it's just full of greenery, you've got the museum.
It's just a beautiful place. It's literally the Japanese Gardens
because the Japanese government donated the cherry blossoms and it
was designed, I believe by folks from Japan. So it's
(21:22):
a beautiful place. Not a lot of people know about it.
I like it that way, but but it's truly one
of the gems, and it's on the South side.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Why do I think people often overlook us in their
own backyard. I think the routine takes over. When it's
something that we're used to, it's right there, we tend
to take it for granted because you see it every day,
right So the things in the neighborhood, the things that
are close by, they don't have that same allure, that
same draw, that idea of going somewhere and seeing something,
(21:55):
Oh yeah, that's always been there, you know. So I
think that kind of plays into it can easily take
for granted or overlook those local gyms that are right
there because they've always been right there.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Why do I think people overlook what's amazing about their cities?
And I think it's because it's where we live, and unfortunately,
sometimes we don't go out and experience where we live
as a visitor because we feel like, oh, I'll get
(22:33):
to that someday, and then we know that years have
passed and we still haven't gotten there yet. So one
thing I think I've learned, especially from my time in Chicago,
was that there was so much to see in Chicago,
and I think I always thought, oh, I'll get to
(22:53):
it at some point, but at some point rarely ever comes.
So when you have opportunities to explore your city, please
explore it. There are museums, there are parks, there are restaurants,
they're shopping. There's just so much culture that can be
(23:15):
going on around your city that we just miss out
on because we think about, oh, someday I'll get to it.
For some someday never comes. So again, take time, either
go alone, or go with friends, or go with loved ones,
(23:36):
and just sharing the joy of what your city really
does have to offer.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
My one travel plan that I've started to make every
year over these last five or six years or so
has been to go to Newport, Rhode Island for the
Newport Jazz Festival. It's far and away my favorite thing
to do in the summer, and it's coming up here
(24:02):
in the next couple of weeks, so I'm looking very
much looking forward to it. It's obviously a jazz festival,
so there's all kind of really cool music. But Newport
is a whole vibe. It's in the northeast. You can
ferry to Martha's Vineyard, you could ferry up to Cape Cod.
The weather's usually perfect, and it's just the whole thing.
(24:24):
It's you know, you get people from all over the
country and perhaps the world there and so it's become
kind of an annual travel destination for me. And yeah,
between Newport and Martha's Vineyard, and by the way, you
could literally take a ferry from Newport to Martha's Vineyard
and vice versa. I have yet to do that, usually
(24:46):
have done it on different trips. Well, one day, hopefully
I'll be able to do both. But yeah, Newport Jazz
Festival is the best travel destination in the summer for me.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
What's your eye summer escape? Well, I think that changes
with the mood that I'm in or where maybe I
have or haven't been. So I say that to say
that sometimes I'm in for going to the beach or
to a place where i can just sit and relax
(25:21):
by a pool in a tropical area, or a resort,
a place where I might do an excursion, or honestly,
I might just want to sit around and relax and
enjoy the Caribbean air. Aruba is that one place for me.
But there are times where I might enjoy going to
(25:43):
the big city, going to see a concert or going
to a game, maybe do a little shopping, or maybe
just enjoy the restaurants of the big city. And then
there may be a time when I might want to
check out the mountains, maybe enjoy some hiking trips. I'll
(26:04):
be honest, I don't fish, though, so they can leave
that for those that do. But maybe hiking, enjoying the stars.
I would love to see the northern lights. I think
something like that would just be amazing as well.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Do I travel differently now than I did in my
twenties and thirties. Definitely. For one, Now I travel with
my wife. In my twenties and thirties, I tend to
travel more with my friends. I think now I'm not
looking for excursions necessarily. I'm good with relaxing and chilling somewhere.
(26:47):
I'm not as excited to go and explore necessarily. As much,
maybe as I did in my twenties and thirties, and
then just a lot more laid back. I think I'm
more focused on what I'm eating and where I'm eating,
and you know, getting really good food in different places,
whereas before that was probably less of a concern. Then again,
(27:09):
on average, I taking more expensive trips than I did
in my twenties and thirties.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Is there one summer travel trip that I haven't checked
off yet? I think it's a European trip. I really
would like to go experience France and Spain, along with
Italy and Greece. I think being in the Mediterranean area
(27:35):
would be just beautiful and amazing. I also wouldn't mind
at some point taking a trip to Africa as well.
I haven't done that yet, and from what I've heard,
it's just a beautiful place to visit because of the
appreciation of who you are and learning more about where
(27:56):
our ancestors are from. I think those would be two
of amazing places that I still have on my travel plans,
but just trying to still put that together.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
What's one travel lesson that has stuck with me? I
think being prepared for anything that's stuck with me. There
have been some times on past trips where it was
necessary to be spontaneous to avoid potentially uncomfortable situations or
to take advantage of an unopportunity that pops up. So
(28:29):
be prepared, have all your ducks in a row. If
you're out of the country, do your research, do your homework,
put yourself in a position to enjoy the locals and
to be respectful of the local culture so that you
can have that best experience and find local food, local
holes in the wall type spots where the locals are
(28:51):
going to eat.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
That's so important. I think it's preparation. I think it's
understanding and doing at least a little recent search about
where you're going, as well as what do you really
want to do while you're there. I think that if
your plans are just to relax, then you really do
not need to pack much. But if you're planning on
(29:15):
doing some excursions or night life or different restaurants or
things that a nature that require a different dress up,
then you need to plan for that and be careful
about overpacking.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I think that's the one thing is that we all
know how to overpack. We do have to be better
about that. As well. As I reflect on this conversation
about summertime and recognizing the joys of the cities that
we live in, I think about summertime just as a
(29:53):
concept versus as a specific.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Time of the year.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
For me, summertime is not like how it used to
be as I was a child. I think of vacation
as my summertime. And therefore, whenever you're getting ready to
take those breaks, whenever you're getting ready to recharge, whenever
you're getting ready to just have a great time and
enjoy yourself in places that you haven't been or in
(30:21):
the place where you are currently living, or it be
that you're just getting ready to enjoy times with people
you love, then that's your summertime. One of the songs
I like to put on is by will Smith Summertime,
and I just enjoy the lyrics of that and it
gets me in that spirit, in that mood of hey,
(30:42):
it's just a moment in our mind. It's a moment
to be able to relax and rejuvenate and hopefully refill
that energy for us to be happy and productive have
a great summer.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
So if there's one piece of advice I'd give to
folks about summer. Enjoy it as much as you can,
because it just does not last long enough, at least
in places like Chicago. There's a song by Grover Washington
Junior called Summer Song, and the lyrics go, sing that
summer song soon it will be gone.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Catch that fever.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Now watch, I'll show you how against Summer's Song by
Grover Washington Junior, who's from Philly. By the way, that's
the one summer song that I often think about. And
the other one is Summer Madness Cooling the Gang. It's
another one, Seevie wonders, Summer Soft And they all speak
to this notion of summer being fleeting, that it doesn't
(31:40):
last forever, and that you need to enjoy it as
much as you can.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Thanks for hanging out with us for this summertime episode
of Raw and Refined The Gentleman's Hour. Whether you're traveling
the world or just walk in your neighborhood, we help
you're finding little moments of joy and rest. We'll be
back with a full episode soon, but until then, please
(32:08):
take care of yourselves and enjoy the moment.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
We out
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.