Should Chivalry be Dead?

In this episode of C1music.fm Real Talk, the host engages in an animated discussion with the guests about the financial aspects and expectations of dating, prompted by a hypothetical scenario involving a refund request after a breakup. The conversation dives into the notion of chivalry in modern relationships, questioning whether traditional acts of courtesy should still be expected in an era that champions gender equality. The hosts share personal anecdotes and cultural perspectives, debating the complexities of politeness, respect, and the evolving gender dynamics.



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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
See one Music dot f M RealTalk. I'm with the Fellas today.
What's going on? Fellas? Goodgood, good, good good. That's
what's up. That's what's up.Man, Yo, it's good to it's
good to be on with y'all today. Man, I have an opening question

(00:23):
before I get into my topic today. So I want my ascess question.
I want you both to respond toit. I hopefully you'll actually jump in
this call. Yeah, I gota question I want. I want to
see how y'all respond to it.So on online, there's a conversational piece

(00:43):
where and so we're just gonna I'mjust gonna hypothetically put it into ah a
scenario. So, fellas, let'ssay you go out with a girl on
the date. Okay, I don'tknow how much date costs in your countries,
but let's just say, for forargument's sake here, let's say you

(01:04):
spend one hundred dollars US dollars.I don't know what the equivalent of that
is. But let's say you takeher out for a nice restaurant. You
know, y'all go out, theyeat, first date, and it's the
first you just now meeting her forthe first time. First date spend about
one hundred dollars. Second date,y'all, go out again, you spend

(01:26):
another one hundred dollars. All right, so now you're two hundred dollars in.
Yeah, go on a third date. But on this third date she
offers to pay. And let's saythe bill is only fifty dollars, right,
fifty dollars payment. After the thirddate, you come to the conclusion

(01:51):
when you get home and you thinkabout it, I'm not interested in this
girl anymore. So you call her. You tell her, listen, you're
a great girl. Everything's love.It's just it's not it's not for us,
it's not meant for me. Ihave no hard feelings. I wish
you the best, you know.I mean, we could still be friends

(02:14):
or whatever the case may be.And you know you'd be a nice guy
and let her off, maybe easily, however you want to, however you
want to call it. She respondsback to you by saying, okay,
thank you for letting me know.And then she sends you a copy of

(02:34):
the receipt and says that she wantsyou to send her half of the bill
that she took paid last for theFor the time, y'all, went out,
which is fifty bucks. She wantsyou to pay your half of the
bill, Eddie, I want youto go first. What would be your
response? First? Why? Why? Why is she you know? Why

(03:01):
should they pay her? But itwill be It was a deeper both enjoyed
they did, and a lot oftime we believed or thought that things would
be. You know, things willgrow into something you know, most serious
maybe, but I personally I wouldn't. I willn't. I willn't found out
something I wouldn't do that. Themost do is try and be very polite

(03:27):
as I tell like, we wontbe prefunding the money. So you so,
So when you see when you receivethe text message with the copy of
the receipt or here we say thecash app ah requests or the pay Pal
request for you to pay your half, what would your response be to her?

(03:50):
I know you say you won't wantyou're not going to do it,
But what what will be your response? You get the pay power five hours,
I would be like, what,why? Why? Why why are
you making me pay back? Youknow we both have the meal ended the
relationship, so I mean it's over. She wants she paid for it,

(04:13):
she wants she wants you to.She wants I'll be like, so,
are you charging me forre you know, breaking up with you? Wait?
Wait, wait way now Yeah,that would be your response, Yes,
okay, what about you, Fritz? Well is the question what would I
refund or would I pay my myhalf? Well, what would be your

(04:39):
response to her? First? Inyour response, you could say if you
will pay your half or not?But what would be your response? Well,
I think it's gonna gonna it's gonnatake me a bit of investigation,
like ask why would she want meto like pay the other half? It's

(05:00):
because the reason is because if ifshe really needs it, like she's short,
or she she has an emergency orsomething like that, I'm gonna understand.
But if she is asking it justfor the sake of, you know,
she because the relationship was ended andshe wanted to like rEFInd or reimburse

(05:24):
behalf of the bill that we paidfor the day, I think, uh,
that's I'm not willing. I'm notgonna be willing to do that.
I think all right, And again, technically she's on that os metri to
five bucks, right, because ifI paid a hundred and she paid fifty

(05:45):
twice bro exactly. That is,see if you're going to judge each other
for you know, for the tirement, you know, for the deep she
won't. That's that. That wouldhave been my response. That would have
been my response. And I wantto know if I'm being petty because I'm

(06:06):
like, oh, you only spendfifty bucks. I spent two hundred.
You know what I'm saying? Ispent two hundred on this? Am I
being? Am I being petty?By if she sent me the receipt I'm
missending her receipts from my joint.I spent two hundred, and you're being
logical. I think it's gonna hurther like I would. I wouldn't even

(06:31):
respond to the request. I probablywould send her a picture of my two
receipts and just call it a dayand then let her take that for what
his word? Am I being petty? Is that being petty? No?
I don't, Eddie. You're sayingyou would do the same thing, Eddie,
Yes, I clearly, and Ireally struggle to be polite in this

(06:53):
case. I mean struggle to bepolite, but defintally will Willie. But
I'm curious to know, Fritz,when you said you'll investigate. So you
say, when she sends you themessage, and will you what will be
a first response to that message.Let's it's a text, what will be

(07:14):
why? Yeah, I'll ask herwhy because for me, it's it's not
at least in my culture, it'snot common for any like side, like
whether you're a male or a female, to like ask your date for the
reimbursement of whatever you pay after likea day or when something is over.

(07:39):
Uh. So for me, ifshe really, for example, needs it,
or there's an emergency, like shetexted like, can you at least
send me a half because my motheris in hospital or something like that.
You know the lines of uh,you know, empathy and all that.
Maybe maybe let me ask a questionhold on request. I want to I

(08:03):
want to piggyback off of Eddie's question. Sure, if your mother was in
the hospital, but I asked forno and you spent two hundred dollars,
is she going to volunteer? No? Is she going to volunteerly? Give
you I mean, because are youasking that question? Base and do some
investigation? Oh, your mom wasin the hospital and da da da da,

(08:26):
or whatever the case may be,Like you volunteered to pay the fifty
bucks. Like that point, that'snot I don't care about what is?
Yeah, that that's the side wherethat's the side that we're we are coming
from as as men. I thinkthat we are willing to spend two hundred
bucks with with with no strings attached. We just we can let let go

(08:48):
of the two hundred dollars for foryou know, we can if we decide
to for the after the third day, we can decide if we're going to
continue or not and not think aboutthe two hundred right because because second,
if it was the other way aroundand you spent the two hundred dollars and
she spent the fifty dollars, thenshe message you and say, hey,

(09:09):
I don't think this relationship is goingto go anywhere. Said, bah,
are you going to respond and say, all right, well here here's my
there's my receipts. You owe meone hundred. No, I probably wouldn't
do that. I wouldn't show theywould. Right. So I'm saying the
audacity, in my opinion, foryou to have the audacity to even respond

(09:31):
to me by saying, you know, you sending me a request to be
reimbursed is bananas. Yeah, butthe thing about it is this actually happens.
This actually happens, So this leadsin, This leads me to my

(09:52):
next question. Should chivalry be expectedfor women hm who want equality? Should
shovaly be expected for women who wantto be equals? Should she be expected

(10:18):
from women who want to be equalto you? Equal meaning like all right,
equal meaning that they want to makethe same amount of money as you.
They want to compete with you ona whole bunch of different things.

(10:39):
They want to be equal, theydon't want to they want to be equal,
so so so if they want tobe equals, should chivalry be expected
for women who want equality? HEddie says, no, Chris, what
do you say she wants? BeforeI ask you why I want to to

(11:01):
chivalry be expected for a woman whowant equality. If she wants to be
equal she wants, then good,good, I'll give you. For instance,
Fritz hit let me let me giveyou for instance. Let's say you

(11:24):
and a young lady work at thesame job. You or her take the
same train. Y'all ride the trainevery morning, and y'all going, and
she wants to compete with you,she says, Yo. She even tells
you you're not better than me.I'm either I'm better than you or we
equal at our job performance and everythingthat you can do, I can do

(11:46):
better. Right, that's her mentalitytowards you, Fritz. The one day,
y'all ride home on the train.Right, get on the train or
the bus or whatever it is thetransportation, and all the seats are taken.
It's only one seat left. Youget to that seat first, and
then she walks on the bus orthe train. Okay, get it and

(12:07):
get it? Did you give yourseat that for her? She wants to
be equal? Mmm? Should yougive your seat that for Should you be
a gentleman that he said? Nope? Hold on, hold on, hold

(12:30):
on, Eddie, Fritz, ShouldJimmy be effective for one man who wants
equality? Mm hmmm yeah. Asa man, you gotta fight for everything.
Fritz. You're taking a long timeto answer. This is why?
Because because will is that? No? Not not really? Not really?
Because my mind is telling me thatthere they shouldn't be required what shouldn't be

(13:01):
required? When you say it shouldn'tbe required, what shouldn't be required or
like expected from them? Because I'mjust thinking that it is indeed innate or
it's hardwirre for us to be chivalrousand for them to be you know,
protect them, to know that.It's just that it's the wop mentality that
makes them. You know, Iwant to be equal to know that.

(13:24):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna say,I'm gonna say no for now. I'm
gonna say no for now, let'slet's let's continue, so you know,
let's explore this area. Say nofor now, you're gonna say hold on.
I mean, I understand you're saying, know that they should not be

(13:46):
so so would you give up yource far? Would you stand up and
let her sitting down? Most?Probably? Yeah, regardless that she wants
to be your equal. Yeah,all right. Oh, I got one
person on one side, I gotanother one the other. Eddie talked to
me, why are you not?Why did you come to this conclusion?

(14:07):
I'm sure by now you'll know Ihave a very huge problem with this equality.
You know, it's out mentioned.You know, Warkness and everything seem
we cannot be equals. You know, I believe that, Holy we cannot
be equals. You know, we'reequal, be are human beings. Yes,

(14:30):
right, you're right, yes,good, But we will never be
equals. You cannot be equal.It'll be that if you're equal, And
why am I giving you my seat? Why am I doing that? You
know? Why? Why why shouldI give you my seat if you're equals?
Right? If it was if itwas a guy who's my age,
I wouldn't give him, right.Why why am I not giving this guy
my seat? Because we're more lessequal? You're both men. But if

(14:54):
you're a lady and you want tobe equal, but now I that lady
lady being aside first right, andI'll treat you, you know, my
equal, my equal. You canstand as well as I can. M
oh hold on absolutely. This equalitything is I can whine about it like

(15:24):
for a whole hour, you know. And unfortunately, and I emphasized this,
unfortunately we we here in Africa andnow we're we're being Westerns. You
know, we've been like to youknow, to to be, to be,
to become work. You've been walkingup, you've been walking up totally

(15:46):
disagree with all that you know,being you know, there are some things,
you know. I look at ladiesand I'm like, you know,
if you want not what equal rights, find them, you'll get your equal
rights. But don't let's make bethem to be the provider what I provide,
go house, you know, Sofor me, hold on, hold

(16:07):
on, hold on, Eddie,first and foremost, I one hundred agree
with your logic in regards to thiswhole woke thing. I hate it as
well, all right, this feministthe world would be a better place if
men wasn't in it. Like theretarded would would you rather be with a

(16:30):
bear or a man? In anisland? They chose to bear? Yeah,
you know what I'm saying, likelike the retardedness in the logic of
the conclusion that they come to.But I want to come back to Fritz
real quick, and I would giveFritz an opportunity to explain, because maybe

(16:51):
Fritz is saying he would do theChristian thing and I don't know, like
I don't know what it is.Hold on, Eddie, I'm not saying
that you want. I just Fritzsaid that who you give up to?
See? I want to know whywhat made you come to this conclusion?
Man? Because as of right now, I think I stand with Eddie,

(17:11):
So sell me. I do agreewith Eddie when it comes to equality.
We are equal in value, butwe we we bring different things on the
table. We are not equal withour contributions. We are not equal with
you know, strength and emotionally,you know, capabilities and all that.
But this is, this is justme personally. Whenever I ride the boss,

(17:33):
for example, or a train andit's already full and a lot of
people are you know, already standingand all that, and I'm seeking right,
So regardless of who it is,as long as it's either an elderly
or woman, I'm looking to,you know, give up my seat,
even even if no one is askingright. So that that that's that's just

(17:57):
me. Now, if if someonewould, you know, go, I'm
gonna use the same same example thatAaron use, where a woman is riding
a bus with me or a trainwith me, and then she, you
know, said those things to methat I'm better than you think. And
then if the situation permits that there'sreally no seats available and I'm seated and

(18:19):
she's not, mm hmmm, Ithink I would still offer my seat.
That's That's what I'm thinking. Igot you. I just want to know
why that's I want to hear thewide part. Why would you still offer
your seat? What is your logicbehind making that decision because it doesn't change

(18:40):
her inherent you know, value asas a woman, even if she thinks
that she's equal with me, butshe's really not. So I you know,
I'm done less, thank you,sorry, So why not be the
one to teach her that lesson?Sometimes we have a less sometimes honest people
have to learn the hard way,right right, But but it's it's still

(19:07):
a plus point for me, notfor her. Let's let me let the
I know, I understand what you'resaying. But like if you have a
kid. Let's say, if youhad a child and your child is acting
up right and you sat down,you done did all the talking that you
can do. At some point intime you might have to make the decision
and sometimes that your kid just failso that they can realize you know what

(19:33):
I'm saying, And you don't wantto do that, but right, I
mean, but they're not they're notgetting it. So sometimes when they're just
not getting it, you just gotto let them see for themselves, you
know what I mean, as muchas your heart made So if if if
a woman wants to be equal,she's not getting it, you're not getting

(19:56):
it. So yeah, I cando that in other things. For example,
example, she can think that youknow, I can I can lift
this, or can do this,like when it comes to strength wise,
you know, let let her,let her do it, and then if
she failed in she'll realize, butlet me do it and she fails.

(20:17):
To me, it's the same,you should be m hm. It's the
same as her standing up on abus. To me, man, if
you gotta lift something and she gottalift something, you let her lift and
find out that she's going to failon lifting it. To me, it's

(20:37):
the same as her felt not notin my presence though, like she wants
to be going by herself. Youwant to lift something or right, those
things are inevitable. Maybe let memess both of your arguments together for me
personally, because on the one hand, I'm far left with Eddie like,

(21:06):
nah, I can't, I'm notdoing that. I understandable, I get
that think, I get that.I understand on the flip side of it.
On the flip side of it.To me, it's like I guess

(21:26):
maybe I was raised a boy,you know what I mean. It's like
it's just I feel like that's justthe right thing to do, to give
up your seat. So for me. Now, I think my measurement case
would be the person attitude, becauseI may, I may, I may

(21:47):
let that person. I may seethe seat, sit down on it and
see how they respond for me notgetting up. And if if they're humble,
you know what, man, yougot a seat. I mean,
but if they got an attitude likelike like I'm supposed to get up with
them, Yeah, I'm supposed togive up for you, then I'm gonna

(22:11):
look at you and I'm gonna actuallynot look at you. I'm ignore you,
like I don't see you there,because it's like you understand what I'm
saying. Yea. So so forme, I kind of think that you
know what I'm saying. I'm abig I'm a big person that has to
that argues about a person's attitude,you know what I mean. Attitude is

(22:36):
a big thing. If they ifthey feel like they're entitled to me getting
up, you can't be entitled.If you want equality, equality, entitlement
doesn't mean the same thing. Letme let me read this. It says
the relationship between chivalry and gender equalityis a complex and often subject to personal

(22:56):
beliefs and cultural norms. Chivalry isunderstood as the code of conduct that includes
behaviors like showing courtesy, generosity,and respect towards women. In a modern
context, chivalry often manifests in actionssuch as holding doors, paying for meals,

(23:18):
and are from protection all right.Some argue that chivalry is simply a
form of politeness. Putting a dooropening, holding a door open, or
pain for a mall can be seenas acts of kindness rather than an expression
of equality. When chivalry is practicedvoluntarily and reciprocally, it can enhance social

(23:45):
interaction without undermined equality. Both menand women can engage in chivalrous acts towards
each other. However, there's mynext question. What are chivalrous acts that
woman can do? And how oftendo men actually experience these acts from women?

(24:08):
If chivalry is something that a manand woman can do, when do
women do chivalrous things for men?Are we? How? We? How?
How? Y'all can answer this personally? Y'all can answer this personally and
whatever other outlook you want to lookat it, I want to say professionally,

(24:30):
But whatever, when? When?Does how often do women do shivery
chivalry things? And is it expectedfor women to be chivalry? Just shival
us just as men are. Wewant to tackle this one first, to
be honest, to be honest,No, I'm thinking I'm thinking about I'm

(24:52):
thinking about a public setting, rightbecause you know people, we we can
counter people and interact with people inpublic, like for example, what you've
mentioned like opening doors, waiting inline, or letting someone pass you and
all that. I'm thinking from mypersonal experience, I have not experienced any

(25:18):
ship that a woman did to me, Like, no woman has ever said
to me like, you can go, you can go on it, you
can go first. For example,you can take my seat or hold the
door for me, or a femalesecurity guard maybe, but that's our job.

(25:41):
But you know, yeah, I'mthinking about it in general public like
interaction with public I have not asfar as I remember. So chivalry is
only one way. It doesn't goboth ways. Because a woman can sit
down on a bus us and thensee another woman who may be elderly or

(26:03):
whatever the case being get up.Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely.
Yeah, when would a woman belike how often are women what actually can
women actually do to be schurey toa man that is of that is capable?
Eddie, talk to me, Eddie, because you look like you in

(26:26):
deep thought. Yeah, look atit definitionally right, just by definition already
men are really disadvantage, right yeah, you know they be sure, be
sure you really the disadvantage and answerto how they can then you know,

(26:48):
just approcate that blood again for me, I men, if you're disadvantage before
saying this, but we are disadvantage. The society tends to focus more on
women forgetting men, like just becausethat definition of chivalry, you know,
there's a benefactor and a beneficiary.Also you know we also yeh in my

(27:18):
culture again in my culture here andagain and disappointing. We we most fulire
you know, cool on wild AndI'm totally like it is that because you
know, you know mentioned that thisyou know, wok thing and I'm like,

(27:41):
you know, now we let methere is no can And they say
African that appreciates flowers. That isa lie. That is a lie that
that I'll bear your role and itmakes me feel that that is you're just

(28:03):
trying to cope. It was youknow, be someone to be no bed
had a flower, right, soyou know we're just we're forcing things on
ourselves and you know, trying tolook you know, that is not us
speaking. So for me, likeI don't open door. I don't do

(28:25):
that. I'm seven years old.So hold on, you don't open doors
for lady. I do not dothat. I will say it. You
know, I don't do that.Shows I love about my head. But
do not do that. That isthat is not that is not but you'll
die with them. That is alie. You know. We're trying to

(28:45):
read the movies. You know,you know you're trying, you know for
you know put Eddie is the westernis trust me. I love my woman
more than you know. Some offrom the worst would, but I do
not, you know, open forthe door. You know I don't do
that. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Eddie, hold on,

(29:08):
hold on. Like my parents willnot call each other. You know,
honey, baby, you would openup the door for your mom,
my mom, Yes, my momwould white cause she's my mom. She
is and that is that is becauseso you would open up the door for
a lady. You just but Isay, lady, I was opened.
But you just said you would doit for your mom. Yes, for

(29:29):
my mom. Yes, whitels,she's my mom and she's older. There's
not respecting by virtually being old only. But I willn't open a door for
a lady is my age unless theydo, it is so heavy she can't.
All right, So hold on,let's let's let's let's let's let's let's
dumb this down a little bit.All right, We we all were we

(29:52):
all would agree that as a manwe should show chivalry too, the elderly,
to somebody who has it, whois disabled a disability, and then

(30:15):
some and in some cases to evenlike to the little kid to something that
that's what we all we all canagree to that, all right. So
when you make the statement, Eddiethat you don't show chivalry, let's put
this in context of dating. Now, let's say dating. All right,
let's put this in the context ofdating. Can we can we do that

(30:38):
first? Can we do that?Let's put it in the context of dating,
all right? Hold on, holdon right now. So if you're
dating a young lady and you andher are both walking towards the door,
are you not going to open upthe door for the lady you turn on
the date that you're diating? Iget it. I will open that door

(31:03):
just because that is not me,that is that is not the true mean
though I will I will and notme as any only no trust me,
any any African mom ken African willnot open that. The only reason I'll
open that door is because I'm tryingto see, you know, westernized,
Oh, because this lady is westof it that I'm trying to impress about

(31:26):
deep down, why there is notthat you know, you can open that
door for yourself, you know,but that is just that is that is
I just hope we don't. Wedon't baby our ladies that much. Now,
you know, I get it.I get it to a certain degree.
I get it. Yeah, Ithink you have a different gesture when

(31:47):
it comes to chivalry, not notnot not the usual like holding the door
or something like that. I thinkyou have. You do have a different
gesture. So then what is thegesture for chivalry that it is in your
country, in your culture? Whatis because yeah, what do you consider
it as rivalrous in our culture?In your culture? In your culture,

(32:09):
some of the women do do alot more, some of the women do
a lot more. Individual I willalso say there was that I think some
of the women a little bit,some of them are a little bit more
traditional manner. Yes, yes,yeah, I agree with you, but

(32:30):
I don't know if I agree withto me, if if a woman is
more traditional, I would be morewilling to be more chivalrous to her true
be like true be. So withthat being said, then what is chivalry
in your culture? Culture? Themean in an example like see see like

(32:52):
you're providing for my woman, notin itself, not in itself for me?
Is that is that is more thanenough, not not the only thing
to do, but that is morethan enough. But don't ask me to
open her door, you know,to pull her sip. I will protect

(33:15):
her. I will, I will, you know, I will care for
her. But caring for her doesnot mean baby in her right now mm
hmmm. And I would consider myselfwesternized so by going by you know,
compared to you know, other howthe culture should be here And and again,

(33:36):
unfortunately, you know, we triedto copy so much that we you
know, we're losing, We arelosing, you know, we're losing focus.
All right, So now I wantto go back to my original question,
Afreid, you want to add anythingto that, though, I want
to go back to my original question. Now, original question was what are

(33:57):
shivers acts that woman do? Andhow often do men actually experience these acts
from women. So, Fritz,you answered that you never experienced any shiver's
acts. Yes, as far asmy experience is concered, I do see
them doing it to others. AndI want to I want to put this.

(34:19):
I want to put a content ina context to a relationship. So
you and a relationship, does wella show at any point in time any
shiver's acts towards you? And whatand if so, what would you define
as a shiverer's act that well itcan do towards you? On one thing

(34:40):
is the the like sharing with thewith the expenses whenever we're going out,
she she volunteers to, like,for example, if I pay for dinner,
she's gonna be pay for something elselater on something like that. And
and and here's if I if Imean and Aaron the because by definition of

(35:10):
chivalry is like what I said,there's a benefactor in beneficiary right like as
men would be the bene that thebeneficiary would be the women, right h
That chivalry, I believe is indeeda man trade or like it's exclusively for
men for men. So the counterpartI think from of that poor women is

(35:38):
the respect or I think the theacknowledgment of of that of the act,
like the appreciation of it, andthe the care that they do as like
for example, whatever they do asas a as a woman. So the

(35:58):
counterpart of being chivalrous do for me, Duela is her caring and respect for
me after you know, doing suchthings. So so because that sounds like
the same thing that I was sayingwith the person's attitude, right, if

(36:19):
they don't have the right attitude,then that's what the issue is, right,
right, right, So if theperson is appreciative and the care that
you did these little small gestures forthem, right, that's all you're saying,
that's all I really need. Idon't really need. Not enough.
Yeah, yeah, but because Ithink that's what that's I think that's that's

(36:39):
that's the only thing that we need, right. It's it's okay for us
to just you know, be respectedand acknowledge of the things that we've done.
And we don't really need to becelebrated or whatever. We just you
know, want to be respected andtechnowledge. And you agree with that,
Eddie, Yes, yes I do. Then they'll just Yeah, all expect

(37:01):
from her is just just be bea woman, you know, be a
woman in this research, you takecare of the whole. Just just be
a woman, and that is enoughfor me. Okay, So I want
to go back to chivery equality.So let's say this. I was watching
a YouTube video the other day anda woman said that she expects her husband

(37:27):
or her guy she's dating, topay the bills, to provide to do
all these things. And if herman said, yo, I came home
from work, I'm tired, I'mhungry, go make me a sandwich,
she says, she will have anissue with that. Why can't he get

(37:50):
up and thank his own self forsandwich. If you're hungry, thank yourself
a sandwich to me. The wayyou can respond and chivalry is if I'm
hungry and I want a sandwich tobe made, get up and make me
a sandwich. You know what I'msaying. But if you're saying, yo,

(38:10):
you hungry, get up and makea sandwich, like thank you,
equality goes back to the well.Then you pay some of the bills.
You you know what I mean?You work hard like I'm working hard.
Right then when I get home andI need to eat a sandwich, I
eat a sandwich. And you caneat a sandwich when you get home by

(38:34):
you providing them the food that therefor you to create the sandwich and make
the sandwich and eat the sandwich anddo That's really like one of the things
I remember when I got married.And you know what I'm saying, when
you get married is an adjustment.And I tell my wife, I think
one of the things that people do, some people they live together before they

(38:59):
get married, right, And Ithink that's somewhat of a problem. Right.
The reason why I say that isbecause I told my I told my
wife when we got married, like, listen, let's get and I like
my wife likes to be the personthat's uh doing stuff around the house and
anything. And I'm very appreciative.We're both appreciative of each other. But

(39:22):
I always tell my wife, yo, listen, if you don't want to
get up and cook, right,if I got to complain about you cooking
and shall I lived by myself before. If I need to go home and
make a sandwich or get if Ineed to go get me something to eat,
I don't have an issue getting somethingto eat. Like if my wife

(39:44):
come home and say, oh I'mtired, I don't feel like you ea
da da da like, you're agrown man. You can get up and
make you know you absolutely right.So when I get in the car and
go buy me something to eat,and I come home and I ate for
myself, and I then I offerto get you anything. You're a grown
woman. You can get in thecar and go buy yourself something to eat.
You understand what I'm saying, LikeI like to have that. I

(40:04):
want you to have that same energy. When I come home and I'm like,
yo, can you what's for dinner? I'll flay eating dinner or work,
okay, And then I go andI leave where you going give me
something to eat? Where you going? I might want something to I'm not
giving you none. You get yourselfsomething to eat because you didn't want to

(40:25):
cook or you didn't want to provide, you know what I mean. I
think that's equal opportunity at that point, you know what I mean. So
I do think chivalry for a womancan be reciprocating. I think everything that
Frist said as far as respect,caring and loving respect to me also is

(40:49):
the action thing too. So ifI come home from a hard day at
work and and like Eddie in theother podcast, I remember and other podcasts
that the girls was yelling at youbecause you said all the things that the
lady wanted to do for her manwhen she comes home and he gets off
to the point where she wanted togo back to work the next day,

(41:10):
and all that's for me. Forwomen, those are chivalry acts that they
can do. And I don't knowif we want to. I don't know
if the I don't know if chivalryis the proper name for that, because
obviously we say acts of kindness,politeness and things of that nature. But
for a woman to be appreciative ofher man, in my personal opinion,

(41:34):
those are some chivalry things that womencan do that allow a man to want
to do more for her. Ithink the more she shows respect and appreciative
appreciation for for doing things, themore you will want to provide for her
and you know, support her andall the things that she's doing. Am
I right wrong? I mean,y'all tell me it, Eddie when you
look at that and say all right, even though even though you know,

(41:58):
because you had a lot of pushbackwhen you made that statement, yeah and
mentioned something and why do you thinkthat's the case? Do you think that's
that? Mean? So? AndI'm asking you this first two. Do
you think that it's the case becausethese women were Westerns? Would it happened

(42:24):
if we had a panel of fullyfill of Panos, would they have responded
the same way, Or if wewould have a panel full of women from
Kenya, would they have responded thesame way? They should if Philippinos,

(42:45):
that is, they should just poemthat we bought. Unfortunately, say that
again, Eddie, see again society. No, we relate a look from
the Western And it's something you mentionedAaron. When we are starting competition you
know nowadays, you know when whenyou you get into a relationship, there's

(43:07):
this competition in the like unfortunately mentto you know, men have competing you
know, their ladies, and it'snot supposed to right the relationship. Yeah,
I will, well respect me,I mean the basics of you know,

(43:29):
the relationship. But then the equality, this equality thing has malice.
It is not genuine. A lotof this equality thing. Well what do
you mean the equality? We cannotbe equal in a relationship, then who
is the head? Who who tellswho? You know? Who? I
mean? Yeah, I have aproblem with equality. Honestly, you're not

(43:54):
You're not. I will not I'llnot like, I have a problem,
a big problem the equality sequent whohas the final thing? Okay, I
mean I agree with you, Eddie. I'm not. I'm not You're not
You're not far off, man,I agree with you, all right,
Fritz. So what's your response though, So what on this particular thing,

(44:17):
especially what Eddie said, what whatis your response? Yeah, to be
safe, I think, uh,women here would I'm not gonna say,
I'm not gonna say a person,but I'm gonna but what I'm gonna say
is this, More and more womenwould say, would react the same thing

(44:43):
the way that they reacted when itcomes to being just you know, a
woman who respects and all that thing. Because more and more women are being
empowered U that you know, theyjust they have they can have this career

(45:04):
in their lifetime and achieve all thesethings that the man can achieve, and
you know, be at the topand you know there's all these things and
being in a family and being asubmissive wife. It's not even the picture,
right. So, uh, moreand more women, I think,

(45:25):
like what Eddie is saying, thereis a huge wave of influence that are
influencing our youth today. Two focuson those things and not just just for
example, just doing a household tourright, basic, sweeping, basic,

(45:49):
you know, washing the dishes,walk, those those things. I don't
know about you guys, during ourduring my time. I can't complain if
I'm you know, if I've commandedto do those things right, if you
especially if I have a sister thatshe needs to be equipped with those things,

(46:12):
right, she needs to know howto do those things right. Yeah,
if you ask, well, ifyou command uh a child or a
young kid or team to do thosethings, they're gonna they're gonna complain,
and you know they will have allthese you know, entitlement and you know,
even some says being abused and allthat, Like, no, it's

(46:35):
just soft. It's just soft.That's why they want all these things,
but they offer nothing. M hmm hm. How do you so,
how did it get to this?Because I don't know if some people can
blame the West, to be honestwith you, in the West, it's
not even the same neither though,you know what I'm saying, Like when

(46:58):
people say the West, I don'tI don't know if they America they biggest,
biggest media because the media is dominatedby the influencal of the West.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Igot you. But I'm saying, I
don't know if they say the West, because even in the quote unquote West,

(47:20):
it's different from Europe. How thingsare in Europe versus how things are
in America is totally different as well, you know what I mean. And
and normally when people say the West, they're saying Europe or America. You
know what I'm saying. They're notsaying South America or any of the you
know what I mean, the specificallyspeaking of US and Europe, US and

(47:45):
Europe and possibly Australia. You knowwhat I mean to a certain degree,
because I would say, culturally,we're probably just as much as the same
in those countries. So will theywill they be? Would they be wrong?
Then? If I said, letme not say the West, then
let me say the devil. Youknow, the devil wants to fight the

(48:06):
you know, the family unit,and unfortunately, you know, the easiest
way, the quickest way is youknow, using the media, and who
has the best media because a lotof what we consume is from the West.
Right, so maybe the devil,you know, through the West is
influencing you know, the entire worldright, because I don't believe the west,

(48:31):
the people in the west innately,but maybe that is where the devil,
you know, decided to let mestart from here, because now it's
it's it's the devil first, isthe devil that goes through the feminist What
is so what is the if yousay the west, obviously you say the
west, What is the east?So the east you know Asia, Asia,

(48:58):
yeah, and then Asia India.So how are they How are they
uniquely uniquely different than the West?They are slightly, not even slightly,
They're still on the walk thing.Let's let's say the East. They're all
going to the walk thing because it'ssomething very I'm very passionate about. But

(49:21):
the East are not that wook.And when I say work going into details,
you know what, I cannot wakeup in the morning and say one
you to I'm a tree, No, I am a tree. I identify
as a tree. Call me atree. You know what it is?
That being work? Clearly? Youknow to be that is you know there
is flat Well, listen, thereason in the East, I would say

(49:46):
they don't have some of the freedomsthat the in the West that you have,
like for instance, and I'm nottrying to pick on China anything like
that, but like I know,China controls how many kids you can having
your family, and there's not this. You don't have a lot of freedom,
much more controlled controlled environment. Isthat better? If you ask me?

(50:13):
You know, freedom is a verydangerous thing to give a human being
right free with them. You know, that is where we start being naughty.
You know, with freedom comes youknow, starty trying things. Now
control is always good, but nowunfortunately, you know, a human being
given control, you want to useit, you know, in a not

(50:36):
so good way. But I'd prefercontrol them freedom. And when I said
I mean too much freedom, youknow, like you know country, Maybe
I don't want to go into details, but I've already mentioned you know what
is too much control then because Iprefer freedom over control. Now to me,
freedom also comes with responsibility. Alot of people are not responsible,

(51:00):
you know what I mean for thefreedom, But I prefer freedom, like
I prefer the control would be youdon't have you can't you can't be a
Christian, you can only be aMuslim. That's control. You don't have
the right to choose to you knowwhat I mean, I prefer the choice.

(51:21):
Okay, now, you have tobe responsible with your choices. And
I don't think I don't think peopleare this younger generation are responsible. They
want everything just to be given tothem, and I have to work for
it. Freedom. Freedom comes outof cost, though people just don't understand
the cost. The cost. Listenthe couse. The freedom is going to

(51:43):
affect them in their older years.Yeah, exactly, exactly exactly, yeah
right, and it has consequences mmhmm. But I still would prefer that
over I personally would prefer that overbeing controlled because at the end of the
day, even though there's consequences,there's good consequences and bad consequences. I

(52:07):
prefer, I prefer the living barby the choices that me. I prefer.
I prefer control and look good.Control is the control in an a
responsible way, in a responsible way, control and responsibility something like that.

(52:29):
I don't want to use China asan example, but I allow me to
use allow me to use an exampleof Ken feires back. A president from
the West came over and this president, when you say the worst more general,
a president from from America came Okay, I came to Kena and and

(52:51):
and part of his agenda was whichpresident was, if you know, Mammy
asked Obama president, Yeah, Obama, okay, Democrat and part of his
agendables when he met with our president, then cant like he's part of his
agendables, you know, rights,and they're like, okay, it's okay
human rights. Well fine, andthen he went father, you'll try to

(53:14):
look all right, hold on,hold on, I gotta cut you off
real quick, only because in America, even in what you're saying is totally
different too. I was having aconversation with the girls yesterday about this.
He's a Democrat. Democrats are morebased around rights. Republicans are not.

(53:38):
Republicans are more about family, SoRepublicans will be more about you can't have
an abortion. Democrats would be moreabout women can have have control over their
body. They can abord whenever theywant. Democrats are more about same sex
marriages. Republicans are like, nah, we ain't with that marriage. Yeah,

(54:02):
marriage is between men and a woman. Democrats are more like, you
can define yourself, give the peoplewhat they want. You could be whoever
you want. You could be.You want to define yourself as a girl,
You're you're Eddie you're now a girl. Republicans are not. Republicans are

(54:25):
not with that. So if DonaldTrump wants to go over there and that,
it would be a whole totally differentconversation. So our country here is
very divided in that in those regards. Because so that's the reason why I
asked you when you said rights,already know how the conversation is going to

(54:45):
grow because you have issues here.So when you said Obama, yeah,
yea, we have those same issueshere. And the crazy thing about this,
I was talking to the girls,and I'm gonna let you go so
we can end what you were aboutto say. But I was telling her,
telling the girls yesterday that here inAmerica, all three of us can

(55:08):
be sitting down and be family membersand as soon as politics are brought up,
will become enemies and don't talk anymorebecause you're voting for Obama and he's
voting for like your vote, youvoted for Biden, he voted in order

(55:29):
for Trump, and because of that, you two will never talk again in
your life. Be enemies and y'allcould be brothers. You understand I'm saying,
That's how that's how damaging politics ishere in America, uh and the
effects that it has on on evenyour relatives and your home. So I

(55:50):
want you to know that said bytelling you that not everybody in the West,
including America, stands on the principlesthat you're about to complain about.
Where President Obama coming in and talkingabout all these rights, because we don't
agree with a President Obama and allthose whites neither polity and I will still

(56:13):
not forgive you because at that particulartime he represented the United States that that
particular type, he represented the LadStates in the book to the control thing.
And well, let me ask youthis question, hold on, re
quest. I may ask you thisquestion if you are if you have a
child and your child acts up inschool mm hmm right, your child at

(56:36):
that particular time represented your family.M h If your kid accept does that
mean that your family is all bad? It means there's something wrong from whether
that kid comes from. It's somethingI'm not doing right. You know,
I don't know if I agree withthat, because you will be teaching your
kid everything that's right. Because hereso I'm only saying this because because I'm

(57:00):
American, Because a lot of peoplethink that America cares about some of it.
Like, to be truthfully honest withyou, I don't know why he
went there. I could tell younow, America in general don't care about
what's going on. So the factthat he wants the king is like at
a quart because we wouldn't care aboutwhat's going on in king here for him

(57:20):
to push your agenda in Do youunderstand what I'm saying. Yeah, I
wouldn't say he represents America in thatin that regards because if actually a regular
American citizen, they don't they welltruly genuinely don't care. We got our
own problems here that we need toworry about. Thank you. Yeah,

(57:43):
yeah, yeah, you know whatI'm saying. You're not trying to co
fix your problems and police the world. The American in general. It's not
trying to do that. It's politics. It's the government. You know what
I'm saying. Oh, yes,he represents America to a certain degree.

(58:04):
He doesn't represent can't he represents thesystem. He doesn't represent the country.
I don't know that if I makessense about that, Yeah, it makes
sense? All right, go ahead, finish you wanna say, I'm actually
don't mention what about it to mention. But but but to control the response
to whatever he was trying to,you know, to push down you know,

(58:27):
as a people as Kenyan's that isnot that is not that isn't an
issue to us. You know whatpeople do in private. We don't want
to start debating. We have wehave bigger problems, right, So excuse
me that that is control in ourway, right, our our our head
of state or our government controls that. Like you, No, we can.
We do not allow same sex marriage. No, we do not do

(58:49):
that. We do not allow emotion, right, So that is positive control.
Me being a Christian, for me, that is that is totally kyd.
Right. So again, based alot of sorry, I don't mean
to cut you off. Again,I listen, I stand with you on

(59:13):
everything you just said, all right, But I also recognize that I can
stand with you because that's my beliefsystem. That's what I believe, all
right. If I grew up differently, I don't know if I would agree
with you. And that is andthat is part of the problem in this

(59:35):
and that's where freedom comes into place. Right, Like for instance, Fritz
and you and me, we choseChristianity probably because we were exposed to it,
and we grew up that's Christians,and we got an opportunity to there's
no no Christ for ourselves. Whatif my parents grew up Muslim but I

(01:00:01):
still had become a Christian, Iwould argue and say yes, but it
would have took me a longer timeto get to this point because I grew
up Muslim. You understand what I'msaying, And so I would have had
to have been exposed to some ofthe flaws of a different and don't get
me wrong, this flaws in Christianityas well, But I would had to

(01:00:25):
the choice would have been a littlebit more harder to make because of a
culture and how we were raised.So I said to say, I understand
your control, your controlled responsibility.I agree with what you're saying, but
I'm only greeting what you're saying becauseI believe in the same beliefs. But

(01:00:50):
I don't necessarily overall consider that stillcontrol responsibility. It's only controlled responsibility because
I believe that you shouldn't you shouldyou shouldn't get an abortion. That's what
I believe. But if I didn'tbelieve that, I would have an issue
with that. Do you understand whatI'm saying, yeah, yeah, like
the way you mentioned so you youknow your friends were brought up in you

(01:01:15):
know, you know, Christian city. I wasn't. I wasn't brought up
in religious city. So I sortof found God christ you know, I
had to you know, such andso. Baby. But look at it
like this the Bible itself, right, but it's sort of ring the Bible.

(01:01:37):
I did not believe in it.I didn't believe. I was just
rereading just for you to understand whatthis book is all about. When I
read it, even without being aChristian or believing it, I could see
what if it's being said, itmakes a lot of sense. And if
the Bible could be a constitution,I don't think we'd have this many problems

(01:01:57):
that we have right now. Justbut just using the Bible all alone,
you realize that, you know,all the answers in the Bible. You
know, these things were trying toyou know, because we're deviating from the
Bible, that is by you know, all these things opening all over.
So again, without being a Christian, if I read the Bible, I'll

(01:02:17):
still tell people they think this novelis you know, this is a good
book. Just read this book anddo what it says. You don't have
to be just do what it says. And see, you know, if
we all follow this book, thingsright. But if we don't, the
more merits and yeah, I agree, all right to bring us to a
close, and I'm gonna let friendsgo last, to bring us to a

(01:02:46):
close. Chivalry in a relationship.What can a woman do to be chivalryes
or is there anything she can do? Or there's no such thing as chivalry
for a woman. You know what, respect your mom and that's men love

(01:03:07):
it. I think that is enough. That is that is so is respect
the action words just respect is whatit is. Respect none of an action.
But you know, the little thingsshe does, you know, you
know, you know when they comehome, she'll make me that sandwich,
you know, Cobricks down, Iwill. So that's because to them that

(01:03:30):
might be doing a little things,and that might be chivalry. That's why
I'm asking. You're saying respect respectcan be. You can be respect somebody
and not still get up and makethem a sandwich. If it's my you
know, if it's my part inthe house, my train in the house,
but it's okay. But if itis my wife in the house,
you know it was without saying youmen, you know that's why I'm asking

(01:03:52):
again, because hm, I'm askingagain, and we can maybe do a
part two this and get a littlebit deeper into it. Frist, I
mean, let you go say sayyour piece on this as well, real
quick, and then we'll close itout. And maybe I would love to
have Joe Ashore on this topic aswell. But Ahad Fritz, let me
let me give you a chance tothe chime in. Right. So what

(01:04:17):
I'm thinking is that chivalry is uhright now, Chivalry is indeed a I
think I would say it is astrength of a man, uh for a
woman. And then there's also astrength for a woman for a man.

(01:04:40):
And we just do really show thatcare and acknowledgement and respect for for the
for the man. I think there'sa there's a uh what do you call
this counterpart? Right, a womanfor a man for his chivalry, and

(01:05:03):
that is uh, you know,just caring, caring for I think it's
it is chivalrous for a woman tocare, for example, for her child,
right and focus on their child andthen so so that the father can
focus on providing and protecting and keepingthat safe space within that family. So

(01:05:30):
if if the if the man willbe concerned on caring for the too,
concern for caring for the child,and you know the woman would want to
be equal in work. I wantto work in all these things. So
there's there's not going to be apeaceful interaction communication in that you know,
circle of circle of relationships. SoI think that's that's chivalrus for women to

(01:05:54):
do. Gotcha, all right,we're gonna sign out. Man to me,
it was a good conversation, andI think do you think the discussion
is good? I told the girls, I think I like having these conversations
with the fellas more than I dohaving it mixed, because I guess you

(01:06:14):
wouldn't say an sharpen's arm. Butit's like you're doing it in the midst
of the fellas. We get achance to, you know, go at
each other. But at the sametime, you know what I mean,
give a different perspective, you knowwhat I mean, and light and light
irons iron. Yeah, but don'tI know, man, I want you
try to enjoy the rest of yourweek. Man, it was a good

(01:06:35):
conversation. Yeah, and uh,Fritz, enjoy your joy the rest of
your your vacation. Thanks than youknow what I'm saying. Yeah, man,
don't hurt yourself out there. Brother, I'm gonna all right. You
have a good one. Eddie signingout. Bro. I enjoy your day,

(01:06:58):
man. Talk to y'all later,please all right, bye bye m