Virtual Heartbreak

In This episode, we will talk about whether it's okay to end a relationship through messages or social media. We'll discuss the fairness of these digital goodbyes and how they affect everyone involved. Is it cool or just cold? Tune in as we explore the ins and outs of breakup etiquette in the digital era.

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Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Hello everyone, and welcome back toReal Talk. I'm your host, Cathy,
and today we have a lovely topicto discuss. Today's topic is titled
virtual heartbreak and it's brought to youby See One Productions. So I'm gonna
ask my panel on also our viewers, this question, is it okay to

(00:28):
end a relationship through messages or viatext or social media? So that's the
question that I'm going to post tomy panel and they're going to give us
their best opinions they have. Butbefore that, I want everyone to say
hi to our listeners and viewers,say Hi guys. Hi. So don't

(00:54):
forget to show some love to ourchannel. Subscribe by scan in the QR
code provided it's just like a nineto nine nine dollars a month and we've
got some exclusive discounts waiting for you, so your support will be appreciated.
So, breaking up is hard,and it's a very hard thing to do.

(01:19):
And with the rise of technology,it's it's becoming increasingly common to end
a relationship over a text of socialmedia. We've seen, like our favorite
couples on social media when they breakup, you say, they record themselves
crying saying I have to I haveto end things with him. They don't

(01:44):
have the guard to go and tellthe person to meet the person and end
things, but they have to textand say you know, it's over.
And that's all without even giving thema closure. So it may seem like
it's an easy way to do thingsbecause I maybe you're avoiding to be confronted
being slapped by editing things. SoJosh, I'm gonna set it you.

(02:10):
What are your thoughts on breaking upwith someone through text, message or post
or social media? Is there anever? Is there a situation where you
think this would be acceptable? Yeah, that's that's yours. Yeah, well,

(02:34):
if their relationship started online and theyhaven't met ever, I think that's
that's permissible, Like, you know, it's not that deep. But if
it's a serious relationship, I don'tthink it should be ended that way.
And uh yeah. Another comment isthat if it's this normal, I think

(03:01):
we gotta change it because I don'tthink relationship are supposed to be just virtual.
So that's just my initial thoughts.Right now, are you okay with
someone breaking up with you on socialmedia? No? Not okay with it?

(03:28):
Okay? Gotcha? Jenny, whatdo you think about this for me.
So sending a break breakup text mightseem like, you know, they
take an easy way out, especiallyif your partner prefers texting, But to
be realistic rather impersonal relationships to servea bit more respect than a text message,

(03:58):
even if it's you know, it'smore convenient for other people, but
face to face is suffer, butit shows you're willing to have that conversation
and deal with the emotions together.I think, and Freed, you seems

(04:28):
like you have a lot What doyou think is it acceptable? I agree
with Josh. If you are onlyhaving the relationship online, then definitely that's
the only way to end it.But if you are in a serious relationship,

(04:50):
closure is very important. The reasonfor breakup should be clear for both
parties. I think both should alsoagree to it because I believe that you

(05:10):
know, having it on a physicalset up, like being face to face
or having it in an intimate setup, it will help both parties too,
you know, start moving on andnot having any you know, they

(05:31):
get to ask each other questions orany thing that they won't want they would
want to raise up or things likethat. So yeah, okay, So
what I mean is there are onlyacceptable setups. Okay, got you?

(05:59):
Okay, Why do you think somepeople just wake up and decide to dump
you for a text? Some ofthe reasons why they do that? Anyone
can I can answer that. It'san open question. Well, I think

(06:21):
someone could do that out of intenseemotion. Yeah, so I think it

(07:30):
really happens in real life. Itdoes happen a lot in in some relationships,
especially when you're like talking on thephone or when you're in the height
of your anger and then you justsuddenly decide that the spur of the moment
that you wanted to break up becauseof you. You know, you're emotional,

(07:51):
You're very emotional at that moment,so you just preadly send a text
message that you want to break up, but then regret it later on.
So you still need to like doit face to face if you're really bent
on breaking up, or if youcan fix it, you fix it personally.

(08:18):
Mhm, that's great. What doyou have to say about it,
Fritz? Yeah, I agree.Like when you are in the peak of
your negative emotions and it's like consumingyou, taking over you, the easiest

(08:39):
way to get rid of it is, you know, get rid of its
source or the reason why you're you'rebeing angry or you're being sad or you're
being uh depressed. That's the easiestway out. But again, it's it's
not about it's not about you know, just getting it out. But you

(09:05):
have to process it. You haveto to look at it, and you
know, why am I feeling thisand why why do I want to do
this? Do I really want todo it for the sake of, you
know, getting rid of it,or there's something else that I can do
about it? So yeah, thatthat those are my thoughts, okay with

(09:28):
me? I have some instances whereit's appropriate to break up with someone online
over a text. Sorry, Sowe all know when it comes to breakups,
it's better if you do if youcan do it face to fish or
over the phone, which is notthe best way. You know, when

(09:50):
you do it face to fix itbrings closure with that person you're breaking up
with, maybe, uh and weall so that's the best solution. For
me. It's better you break upwith me face to face rather than maybe
ghosting me or sending that creepy textto me. So I have the first

(10:16):
instance, if it's a casual relationship, if you haven't been on many dates
or just been out for a drinkevery now and then breaking up over a
text can be okay. Do youagree with me or not? That's the

(10:39):
question again. Well, if youare already having some drinks, maybe on
that level you could meet up overa drink and talk about it before you
break. So for me, it'sgoing to break you're already in that level,
then you're gonna message, just messageand say bye. I don't think

(11:01):
that's respectful of the relationship. Sothose are my thoughts, so I would
disagree. I think we should matchwhere we have the relationship already, So
that's my thoughts. Okay, ifit's a just a casual relationship and you've

(11:28):
not been a many days, sothat would mean that the relationship is not
really that deep yet. But thenagain, I don't think or you've just
been out for a drink every nowand then breaking up over a text can
still not be okay for me.Just out of respect for the other person,

(11:50):
you should still do it like personally, you know, if you've been
going out for a while and thenhaving drinks as well, you know,
I don't respect for each other andKathy, you know what sorry, there's
a funny thought not to not tocut with Jenny saying, if there if

(12:11):
there was an app for feedback datingup. You know, this girl just
met me and blessed me one start, one star, don't be it would
be a by word. You know, you gotta have a bad review.
So that's a great like what Jennysaying. What Jenny saying, Yeah,

(12:41):
at least respect the relationship, soat least you have a good Yeah.
Also, it's very you know,very cowardly. I just pack up.
Yeah, but isn't that a simphalmethod to do it because you might be

(13:03):
slapped when you do it face toface, So that's being a coward,
you know, the slab. MaybeI don't want drama, that's why I
did it with a text. It'skind yeah, but but you know what

(13:33):
Fritz Journy Cathy, I think Ithink there's there's an instance where text is
acceptable when when you soon realize,like for example, you went out reddering
and you know, casual and thenfor some reason you learned that this is
this was a serial killer or youknow someone by no more explanations, better

(13:58):
not to text at all or ghostblocked blocked in anyway, that's the only
time, like if lives are atstake, m hum Joash disagree with you

(14:24):
and GI disagree also I disagree it? Yeah yeah, or about you,
Fred, did you disagree or agree? I would disagree if if we?
If we, I would assume thatif casual relationship is like you know,

(14:46):
being being on a date with someonefor a few times, yeah, you
have to have that level of atleast courtesy and respect to that person to
actually tell him or her that youdon't want to continue on dating. I

(15:07):
think that's why ghosting has been prominentbecause nobody, not nobody, but lesser
and lesser men and women in thedating ages doesn't have the courage nor the
knowledge on how would I deal withsomeone who I really don't want to pursue

(15:28):
a serious relationship with, Like howwould I approach him? Or should I
just get rid of him? Oryou know, should I just you know
ghost him or not? Things likethat. I think that's why we have
that kind of culture on the youknow, dating ages that we have right

(15:48):
now. We don't want that responsibility. Okay, the next thing stands is
if you're not going to see themfor a while, or if you're stuck
at home or you're or you area part for a long time, then

(16:11):
stringing them along until you next seethem can be pretty cruel and waste of
everyone's time. So if you're notgoing to see them for a while,
is that a reason to break upwith them? But you didn't? If

(16:33):
you a person has a very validreason to do so, Like they believe
that you know they're not going tosee each other for a while, that
would be if that would be consideredas a long distance relationship and the other
one is not able to maintain itfor you know, for himself that you
know he cannot handle it very well, then I guess you ll maybe maybe

(17:00):
it's acceptable if of the distance andthe time, would you know, wouldn't
allow them to see each other personally? A text or possibly a phone call?
Would? I would prefer a phonecall because you know you'd be able
to uh talk more rather than andit's m hm not really personal, but

(17:25):
still you're able to communicate well viaa voice call rather than a text because
you know some other person might puta voice on the text and like misinterpreted.
You know it happens a lot.Mm hmm. Yeah, what about

(17:49):
you it's a Josh, what doyou have to say about that since you
mentioned my name first? Just kidding? Uh yeah, if if, if,
if either or one of the partyor the person is not willing to

(18:11):
commit into a long distance relationship,then might as well, you know,
just just end it right there andthen, because or in any case,
if someone is not willing to committo anything, then you know, just
just save yourself and save the otherperson from uh, you know, from

(18:32):
going through hard times, rather thanyou know, thinking half heartedly that this
could still work. I can stillbelieve in LDR, but you are not
really ready to commit into you know, just having FaceTime or video calls.
If if it's not going to sufficeto you, and proximity is a priority

(18:53):
for you, then just don't riskit. Yep, I Jeosh, team
for your wisdom, to your wisdomwith us. Yeah, you know,

(19:18):
I'm actually thinking of a principle thatyou know, two people cannot walk together
towards their same direction unless they haveagreed to do so. So Fritz Amus
three, chapter chapter three, versethree. So the principle there is,

(19:38):
you know, I think I'm thinkingabout when you said yes to one another
to be in a relationship because youcannot go break up with someone unless you
have agreed. So what I'm sayingis, what did you agree about?
What is this journey going to beabout? You know, the should be

(20:00):
clarity and expectations, and if thatis not you know, working out,
maybe that's the time you know thatyou can break up and you know,
sever the commitment, you know,the journey together. Because I think a
good relationship would go in in seasonsand in you know, in in certain

(20:25):
levels. So there's like a youknow, a level where okay, let's
be in an exclusive relationship and thenlet's prayerfully or you know, see where
this is going to go. Butthere's that there's a tension and there's a
level of commitment that goes on thenext level, the next level. Now

(20:45):
on the first level, if you'reyou know, dating and getting to know
each other, if it's not goingwell and if you're seeing the priorities it's
not being reciprocated, I think that'sa good time to talk and say,
Okay, I think we have learneda lot and you cannot move to the
next ever with this kind of priorityif you know, if both parties are

(21:08):
not willing to address so I thinkit's really about what did we say yes
to each other? So that youknow it's not working, we can disagree
and part ways in a mature way. So yeah, in the end it
should be a mutual decision. Mmhmmm, be fair. Do you agree

(21:33):
with that, Kathy? I don'tknow what do you agree on? Let's
say, for example, Kathy,let's just let's just role play. Do
you want to road play? Okay, so if you're you're you're Kathy,

(22:00):
Oh, I'm Jay, okay,so are we are we now? And
uh, you know what are wein to? Something like that? And
then and fast forward. I don'tthink this is working. Kathy's not replying
or I'm not responding. Hey,Kathy, I need to have a call
with you. We just have totalk, you know, put you know,

(22:21):
a closure on it. So Ithink, sorry, that was a
very quick role play, but youknow, just imagining if it's really virtual
or it really depends on the levelof you know, what you're agreeing to
enter together. So yeah, yeah, that's what I said. Come into

(22:48):
our scenario. So meet Alex andTaylor. They have been in a relationship
over Annie and now due to variousreasons, Alex began to feel that the
relationship wasn't working out. Taylor heavilyrelied on phone calls, video chats,

(23:12):
and messaging, and preferring these formsof communication over in person meetings. Feeling
that a face to face breakup mightbe challenging given Taylor's communication preferences, Alex
decided to address the situation through acarefully crafted message. The message read,

(23:36):
I've given this a lot of thoughtand I believe is the best for both
of us if we partways, Iwant to express my gratitude for the time
we've spent together and the positive momentwe shared. I know this is a
difficult message to receive, and Iwant to be honest about my feelings and
reasons behind these reasons at this position. Sorry. Despite the careful wedding,

(24:02):
Taylor was disappointed with the choice toend the relationship through a text message.
She asked Lex why he opted forthis method and this, and his response
was that he believed it might becomfortable for her considering her prepearance of messaging
over face to face composition. Shewould have prioritize their own comfort when ending

(24:33):
a relationship, or is it moreimportant to prioritize the emotional wellbeing of the
person received receiving the breakup news,any one can answer that. You know,
breakup, you know suck for everybodyeveryone involved, no doubt about it.

(24:55):
But while it's something to you orcause on yourself one making yourself feel
better, I think it's important tothink about how your partner would feel as
well, because you know, justthinking about how you would feel would sound
so selfish for me. Showing alittle empathy and compassion can go a long

(25:17):
way in, you know, makingthe breakup less painful for both of you.
You should you enter the relationship together, so you know, have the
decency and courtesy to make it alittle less painful for the both of you.

(25:40):
Okay, likes what's wrong? Becausemhm in I think it's not wrong.
No, wrong, He's not wrong. He's the one sending that text

(26:03):
message. He was the one whosent the text message, right, mm
hmmm, here's the one ending things. Well, that's what he thinks is
not wrong. Yeah, so youknow, still he should have considered the
feeling of the other person instead ofjust you know, sending that text message.

(26:29):
He should have the courage to personallydo it as well, to make
have some closure. I guess becausefor the other person it won't feel like
it's a formal way of breaking up. Just for some especially for girls,
some of them would rather ah itwould It might let them feel like they're

(26:55):
left hanging, which is a textmessage, so they would assume that there's
still some hope for the relationship.So like they'd still be seeking to see
the person and have a meaningful conversationwith them, even though it might appear
to be a little painful, butstill they would have that closure that they

(27:22):
are seeking. I guess, Ihear. I think everyone should take responsibilities
of this because Taylor the one whosuggested that should be video chatting messaging,

(27:44):
So I like he was actually deliveredby breaking up online because she likes that
communicating via text strateges video chats.Do you see he was just giving her.
I don't think he's wrong anyway orselfish, Like you said, I

(28:08):
don't know what are you going tothink about that? So what do you
think, Josh, you're thinking?Okay, let's hear. Let's hear from
Fritz first, very nice. Breakbreakup is always a aside from the word

(28:30):
of God, it's also a twoedged sword. It's never going to be.
It's never going to be you know, you can leave one behind not
hurting or like rejoicing. It's alwaysgoing to be a two edged sword.
You pierce yourself, you piers theother. But the only reasons that was
stated here as as for the breakupis the due to various reasons, And

(28:56):
I think that's a little bit ambiguousor unclear uh as to why they broke
up, regardless of the regardless ofthe method or the way they've broke up
through through text, and even ifthat's the that's the comfortable communication that Alex

(29:18):
uh was used to, it's it'salways going to be boiling down into the
reason. The factor is it justifiablefor him to text the breakup message.
Maybe we don't know, because again, there there are various reasons why why

(29:40):
why he broke up, So Idon't know. It's it's really a case
the case based. It's not it'snot gonna be a black, black or
white situation where that's wrong or thisis right or whatever. You really have
to go deep into the reason ismaybe Alex is being abused, or Alex

(30:04):
is being you know, mistreated orthings like that, or he's being robbed
baby Taylor is you know, gettinggetting Alex's money? You know these are
these are reasons that you can alsoconsider on why he he texts those the
breakup message. I have a question, are there like any hindrances, you

(30:32):
know, having dates personally? Whywould they rely on phone calls or just
video chat if they're in a seriousrelationship. I think for me, I
would understand if it's a long distancerelationship. Tayla doesn't want to but Alex

(30:52):
you want why I'm saying, likeTayla want to meet, but Alex wants.
I don't know, maybe they don'tshe's not. There is a thief,
yeah, there is a thief orlike abusive money. I think in

(31:21):
this scenario, it's like they're notreally serious in their relations you know,
they don't want to meet, likethe other person doesn't want to meet,
but they've been together for one year. Mm hmm, that doesn't want I
mean because he's bad. I'm gonnasmell it O rain over again. Reasons.

(31:48):
There are a lot of reasons,right, so you can you can
point the finger to something. Iguess in the first place, this is
like they're they both agreed that thiswould be the way of communication, just
doing phone calls and video chats.And then I guess there's no one to
blame if the other person would justsend a text message. Yeah, the

(32:15):
other person should, shouldn't you know, it's the wrong way both. It's
not really a breakup, right becauseit's online relationship, so it's it's just
getting offline. H That's the thingwith virtual I'm not breaking up with you,

(32:40):
We're getting offline. What is therelationship if you can? Yeah,

(33:05):
I agree on need it stuck onthe thief thing, So what did she
steal? Maybe the heart? Thatwhat I was in. She stole the
heart. Yeah, if she wantedto return the heart, but the guy

(33:27):
doesn't want to, that would saym hm. Anyway, So the next
question is does the do's the methodof ending relationship such as true text impact

(33:49):
the closure and understanding both parties gainedfrom break up? What's going to start
de floy is yours? Yeah,I think it would really impact the both

(34:16):
parties. And I guess like inthe future, this would be uh material
for counseling if they're gonna have someunfinished business that needs closure, you know,

(34:37):
and uh, you know, howthey relate with themselves and other people.
It would be a good now youknow material code in coode, you
know, for understanding and for gainingmore self awareness so that the people involved
could be better. So it definitelyhas an impact, and you know,

(35:00):
I think they would reflect on isit really worth you know, their time
and effort going to such a relationship, or they would be better wiser next
time. The breakup method definitely hasan impact when it comes to the closure

(35:22):
and understanding because ending things face toface really gives you that chance to stuck
it out and get some closure,while texting, on the other hand,
leaves a lot of room for misinterpretationand unresolved feelings. So if you want
to move on cleanly, a heartto heart stock is probably the way to
go, you know, and tomove on slowly from that breakup. Slowly

(35:50):
but surely that's right. I wouldsay the same go as far as breakup
could also be a process, notjust a one time event where you say
you know it's over. I believethere are also couples. This is not

(36:10):
based on experience. This is justyou know from friends that are who were
able to experience or who've gone throughsuch things that you know there are things
that you cannot accept at first,that you're you know, on the road
to break up, that you're stillin denial, that you know this is

(36:30):
not working and all that, andthen you would still break up or say
say quote unquote cool off, andthen later on you would still desire you
know, you miss the person,and you would want to get back together
and all that. So I believethat the ultimate like the ultimate breakup would

(36:54):
be a would be a process.Some some may do it like one time,
you know, it's over, we'redone, you know, split,
But more often than not, peoplewould tend to like, can we meet
again and just just talk and youknow, have questions answered and have things

(37:16):
cleared out, and they this isthis is true. Some would would ask
even did you really love me?Or you know, those those kinds of
things that you know, people wouldwant to clear out of their minds before
they, you know, they canreally move on. So yeah, okay,

(37:45):
well said rate, I have nothingto it there. Uh. The
next question is how much weight shouldbe given to a person's communication preference when
deciding the appropriate way to end arelationship. The floy is yours, guys,

(38:10):
I want to answer last, soI can give a good answer.
So now I'll go first. Somy my co panelist and how much way
a lot of weight? I wouldsay, uh, not not just because
of the preferences, but because youknow, as a human being, you

(38:34):
have to at least have the kindof courtesy in respect, especially when you've
gone through so much together. Youknow, and you really, you know,
you believe that what you had wastrue, and you believe and you
know that what you've shared with thatperson is you know, genuine and deep.
You wouldn't want to end it thatway because you've already shared your life,

(38:59):
and life was shared to you.You know, memories, things,
and so many things and factors thatsurrounds you and your relationship. Maybe you
know that relationship was accountable to somebody, or it's you're accountable to your church,
you're accountable to the parents and allthat. So you can just end

(39:21):
it like the way you want toend it, You have to really go
through a process where you would wantboth parties to have the acknowledgment that this
is not working out and we haveto end this and let other people know
as well that you're going through theprocess so that they'll be able to understand
that you know, you know,they're not. They're not get a gossip

(39:45):
or anything, but just to letthem know that we are struggling and we're
going through this patch that we haveto fix or at least ultimately at the
ends. Sever I said a lot. Sorry mhmm, well said, Well

(40:07):
said I agree, No, giveus a verse, give us a verse.
Well maccabee, Macca abies, Oh, go ahead. I think for

(40:37):
me, like I was mentioning earlier, it's good consider how your partner likes
to communicate. Sure, it's youknow, you can take that into account,
but when it comes to something asbig as a breakup, it's more
about showing respect and sensitivity. Sodon't just think about what's easiest for you.

(40:59):
Don't take that you the way out. Think about what's best for both
of you emotionally. Since you bothare partners in the relationship. You you've
made memories together, you've done thingstogether, So consider all those factors in
the way and in the way thatyou would want you know, part ways.

(41:22):
So it should be at the endof it, it should still be
like both of you mutually agreeing tobreak up. So I think you should
consider what's best for both of youemotionally and everything. Yes, and with
that what Jenny is saying, ofcourse, in relation to what Fritz already

(41:46):
said, I think a healthy wayof dating, in getting to know a
person, I think our goal shouldbe if this will not work out,
at least when we break up,we should leave you know each other in
a state you know that we havegrown better than we first got in.

(42:10):
So I think that should be ayou know, a goal. Let me
just do a slow clap right now, so that at least you you you
you gain some I mean not reallylooking for what you gain, but you
know you you become a better personeven after that relationship, better person than

(42:35):
the broken person after that relationship.But of course yeah, but the feelings
will be there, but you knowsomehow. Thank you Tricksy for that comment.
Shout out to Tricksy and to Catherine. Compare between traditional forms of communication

(43:06):
and forms of communication. So inAfrica, the whole of Africa, communication
like sending my sins, like peoplewould run to a certain place, like
they have to give the other informationand this person told me this, and
then you don't have to change theinformation. You have to give it the

(43:28):
way they told you. The otherform was using letters writing, and you
know you have to deliver that letterto that person. So can you imagine
if that's how things are today andyou want to end a relationship with someone,

(43:51):
willase this and tell them go tellthee I have done writing for a
relations and this is of So withthat being said, technologies such as messaging
and in ending a relationship reflect thechanging nature of communication in modern relationship or

(44:16):
does it undermine the traditional values ofpersonal personal, face to face interaction during
such insignificant moments. What do youthink, guys? Statements are both correct
for me. You know, inthis social and technology everything is like everything

(44:39):
else has been like very easy foreveryone in a snap of a finger at
the app of your fingers, likeyou can just send that message and you
know, break easily. But then, like what you've mentioned, it underminds
a traditional way. So it's it'seasy to who use the breakup method that's

(45:00):
most comfortable for you, but thatmight not be fair to your partner souse.
Relationships are about give and take,you know that, So even if
when you're ending, try to finda way to break the news that respects
your partner's feelings too. And Idon't think ending it on social media or

(45:22):
just on chat is like respecting yourpartner's feelings. Nothing beats having a conversation
personally, What about you, guys? Modernization definitely changes over time what is

(45:46):
normal because you know, traditionally what'snormal before is like snail mail and all
that. Now the norm is usin your Facebook, Instagram, So that's
that's normal. But the normal doesn'talways mean it's right. So you always

(46:15):
have to consider you no basic,basic humane ways of of breaking up because
if you're you know, you getused to talking to a person via online
or chat or Instagram, then youknow it. It somehow creates a barrier

(46:42):
two your between your connection to thatto that person, although it connects you
because you're able to transmit messages easilyand instantly, but still creates a border
where you don't really know what theother person is feeling, but the other
person is go going through what theother person is thinking. Unlike talking,

(47:05):
you know, physically you would knowbad the languages, gestures, you would
be able to feel the aura thathe or she is giving off. So
yes, it's normal too. Nowadays, it's people think it as normal to
break up that kind with that kindof way, but still it doesn't it

(47:29):
doesn't make it right or at leastthe most gracious way to approach the breakup
scene. That's great about you,Joyce, Yeah, it's I think we

(47:54):
really made for relationships. So thetechnology is just there to assist a real,
face to face human human, youknow, life on life relationship.
So if we are satisfied with youknow, virtual ones, or if the
virtual ones will not translate into realand face to face you know, encounter

(48:16):
with people, I think we're missinga lot as as to how we are
designed by life two you know,interact and relate to one another. So
I still think that the best waysreally is to develop a real face to
face relationship. So yeah, wellsaid. So. Uh. The next

(48:45):
section is is it fair for someoneto choose a break up method based on
what they believe would be more comfortablefor their partners, even if it's not
the most traditionally respectful approach. Sohere's the thing with the breakup messages.

(49:07):
They are not always respect full.It's kinda like everything that person did to
you, and you will use someI don't know some words, and so
what do you think guys about that? Is it fair? No? I

(49:37):
don't think it's fair. Yeah,as we've already mentioned earlier. Yeah,

(49:57):
yeah, I think again bas andtheir agreement. Yeah, so I think
it would be depending on their agreement. So if one would force on his
or her way of breaking up,it only shows the person's character and thus

(50:17):
making the person have the option ofwhether do I stay with this kind of
you know, relationship? It doessomething when somebody insists on a particular way,
but if they cannot agree on something, so why stay on that?
So? I think it's really ajourney, like what Fritz says, it's

(50:40):
a process of getting to know eachother in ourselves in a relationship. Got
you okay? So do you thinkthere's a universal standard for the right way

(51:07):
to end a relationship or is itno? Dependent? Oh you didn't know,
let me finish. No, sowhat's no explain that now? Uh?

(51:31):
Explain? Wait? What did yousay? No, there's no there's
no universal method to break a relationship. Yeah, there's no one way.
I think there's still black and white. Yah, you think there is?

(51:52):
So what's a universal standard for youand in a relationship? There's no universal
standard. There's not not not necessarilythe right way, but the lesser I
would say collateral damage maybe, becauselike I said, it's it's a two

(52:15):
edged sword. You cannot get outof the relationship without without having broken pieces,
without having to scar or without havingto break somebody's heart because it's always
going to be there. So youhave to have all the right reasons.

(52:36):
You have to have all the rightprocess, all the right I would say,
or the safest way of you know, breaking up, because it's never
going to be you know, thisis the best way that we can break
No, I don't believe that you'llhave the best way of breaking up,

(52:57):
but you know you can only youcan only prevent you can only prevent the
collateral damage that the breakup will,you know, bring, Just like what
Josh was saying that if you're goingto break up, hopefully you can do
it in the way that you'll beable to leave the person not as broken
as he or she should be,but at least able to go through the

(53:23):
process and was able to learn andgrow from it as much as possible.
So agree, I think I thinkfor me, every relationship has a different
scenario, different circumstances for every relationship, so there's no one size fits all

(53:47):
approach to breaking up because you know, like I said, every relationship is
different and what works for one couplemay not work for another. But however
you want to do it. Nomatter how you do the breakup, being
respectful and honest is always the wayto go. That's the one thing that

(54:07):
we should always remember when ending arelationship or ending anything for that matter.
Yeah, but as you mentioned earlier, was you have a universal standard h

(54:28):
m hm, okay before ending thatrelationship? You you you you too carefully
think about everything without making a hisdecision. So for me, it's giving
them a chance, beginding things.Why did they do it that? I

(54:52):
think it's the best way. Iwould just give you a chance. Yeah,
that's understandable. Yeah, there's nomanly, that's a universal standard if
you want to break up. ButI don't think like for everything else,

(55:13):
Like you know, that's a basicthing. You know, explain yourself first.
There's always a reason. So don'tjust say like, yeah, we're
breaking up, goodbye, that's notit. There's definitely should be a reason
behind that. Yeah, okay,moving on, Okay, advice do you

(55:37):
have to Taylor's and Alex advice?Would you give people that I know people
are some people in that situation,like Taylor and let's see in for sure

(56:00):
anyone. For me, we're onthis topic of breaking up via text message.
So yeah, creating a or craftinga breakup message seemed like a thoughtful
move. But let's face it,it's not quite the same as talking it
out in person because you know,emotions can get lost in translation over text,

(56:22):
and so your partner might not fullyget where you're coming from. So
and explanations would you know, wouldtake a long time, you know to
say. So, if you wantto end things on a clear note,
a face to face interaction, communicationor is probably your best choice. That's

(56:46):
for me. Yeah, I thinkI will have to send them a text
message for my advice to them.But Katy katty aside, you know,

(57:09):
it's really you know, it's reallydifferent when you sit down with people and
their concerns, you know, andjust to clarify you know, things with
them, and so I would advisethe you know, the couple to work
things out and aim to be betterand to contribute to the betterment of the

(57:30):
person they're dating. That's for me, just to add as well, ending
things in person, you know,can help both of you get closer and
move on faster, I think.But on the other hand, if you
leave things unresolved or unanswered through text, I think it could drag out the

(57:52):
healing process. So if you wantto get over it and move on,
you know, a face to facebreak up still and and for the benefit
of the other person, you know, do it in person and communicate and
communicate in a more better way.That would be showing respect and the honest

(58:13):
way to go. Amen. Mhmhm mm hmm. Place to face thing

(58:34):
is concerned, I will say,well, I will go with a comment
section. I'm not trying to getthat slab mm hmm because when you're ending
danks to someone because they will beangry because they were not expecting that.

(58:58):
For me, all about lab Solike shut you want to give any shot
out? Yes, my husband girlfriendFrench. Yes, shout out to my
girlfriend who's watching the live stream rightnow, like what I said, like

(59:23):
what I'm what I'm always saying everyafter podcast, Please be gracious to me
after this. Yeah. Shout outto my friends female friends out there who
would be listening to this replay.I'd be sharing this live stream with them
later on, and to my familyas well. Thank you. Yeah.

(59:47):
Shout out to my wife Ethel andto our kids who might be watching this
in the future. Hm. Ohthat's beautiful. So for me the best
breakup I'm not giving like advice,the best. If you want to break

(01:00:10):
up you, you may as wellplace that person and tell them things have
to endings between us. But forthose who opt to use the messages,
please I use the ones that arerespectful and put some thoughts into them.

(01:00:31):
That's all I have to say.And that's the end of today's show.
Thanks for watching, and if youlike this video, make sure you subscribe
for more. Goodbye Bye.