August 19, 2025 • 30 mins
The Brown wives get the ugliest dresses in the history of the world designed for them in anticipation of an upcoming conflict-rich commitment ceremony. And we're here for it.
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Follow us on IG https://instagram.com/realitytvcringe
Subscribe to see our raccoon faces on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_2CgqXLWjIEKV9PCtH3Kjw?sub_confirmation=1
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one
of your hosts, Delia here with my real tight homegirl
and my daughter in law, the illustrious, the resplendent Bitch.
That means we are here to talk sister, whys honey.
(00:25):
We are all caught up and almost done with season
six finally, the first year in the called the Sack,
the run up to the commitment ceremony, which is oh
so important. Yeah, which is what we talk about tonight.
If we can make it. What are we going to
talk about?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
This whole episode sucked so much donkey balls, I can't
even remember what I want.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I don't either, I.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Don't know if I'm here right now, I'm not. We're
going to do our very best before we get into it, though,
we do have to remind you to please hotch what
hod your kids? This is a politically incorrect podcast, which
means we say stupid things. We're just here to party.
We're literally just here to have fun real and so
(01:11):
if you're one of them sensitive people, go away. You
might want to find yourself a different dumpster. But if
you're ready to revisit the Call de sac drama and
the poor Dress designer Sam Honey Honey, well, then welcome
to this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And if you like what we do over here, please
be sure to follow us on Instagram at Reality tv Cringe.
It's our only social media, okay, and then join us
on Patreon, Patreon, dot com, sash Reality TV Gringe. We're
wrapping up our coverage of season two of The Valley
over there with a bunch of other bonus stuff. It's
really fun except for the value.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
The Valley is so toxic, but we get all the
way into it, so definitely come and join us now.
If you are watching on YouTube, please do not forget
to like and com and share and subscribe because when
you interact with our content, whether it's positive or negative,
although I don't know why it would ever be negative. Yeah,
it really does boost us in the algo, and when
(02:11):
we're growing in the algo, we're getting fatter, and when
we're fatter, we're the.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Best versions of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Beatrice exactly, do thank you in things? So did you
have any takeaways with this episode before we get into it,
My dear, I felt.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Really bad for that dress designer because I feel like
she was trying her best, But at the same time,
I'm like, these dresses are booty e.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Fuh, so terrible?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
How bad?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I think she knew it, yeah, and I'm sure she
was like telling her whole family like, oh my god,
sister wives, have you heard of it? They asked me
to be a dress designer. I'm going to help the
four wives. It's gonna be so great. What an opportunity.
And she comes in looking edgy and fly and wonderful,
and I'm thinking these are gonna be great. Yeah, well
I'm not because I've already seen this, but I mean, like,
(03:04):
these dresses are so bad, so terrible. I do feel
bad for her as well. I wonder where she is.
Where are you now? Sam?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Hiding under a rock?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Are you? Okay? Oh my lord?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
So get us start at Beatrice with season six episode
is it eighteen? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Entitled Celebration Countdown?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, God, Godnes's.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Gracious, it's like the never ending season. This season is
like incredibly long. Yes, And then we have this episode
that I don't even know why we have because it's
like before the commitment ceremony, but it's like forty days
to the commitment ceremony, so we still have some time.
But everybody's acting like it's so last minute, they have
(03:47):
so many things to plan, and I'm just like, I
don't care.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Nobody cares, and it's so manufactured, and it's so truly boring,
and you're not talking about the real story, which is,
why are you doing all of these improvements to Robin's backyard?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And why aren't we talking about how much it's costing?
And are the other wives asking themselves, well, how come
Robin gets to have all these improvements? And I'm over
here with the Moonscape exactly. We're not having the real conversations,
and so I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm very bored. But we start off with the family
talking about the commitment ceremony, and it seems like the
parents are the only ones that are excited about it.
Nobody else is excited about it. We have landscaping done
and Robin's backyard, and then now we have to find
the dressmaker we meet in this episode. Poor Sam. Yeah,
I feel really bad for And then they have to
(04:38):
figure out a menu, and then they have to finish
the mission statement because we've been working on that for forever.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, this entire season, and we haven't finished the Donah.
We were talking about it yet we were talking about
it before the Dona. We're still talking about it, and
nobody cares. They don't care, Janelle doesn't care, Mary's not
into it, the kids hate it. Why are we doing this?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, for content.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yep, and for Cody, probably because Cody wants to like
portray that they're all happy and they're perfectly fine, even
though we all know that trouble is happening in this
cul de sac already, and it's because Cody's over at
Robins and decorating her house, So it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Speaking of Cody, we are going to have an after show,
by the way, because as you know, we have discussed
that he's going to be a part of Special Forces
season four, Season four World Domination Soldiers, World's Toughest, That's
what I meant. He's going to be a part of that,
and there's some gossip around that. There's also some things
that he's done to his whole face that we're going
(05:41):
to get into, and he's made a recent Instagram post
in which he divulges a bit of information and so
we want to talk about it, yeah, but we're going
to reserve that for after this episode with y' all
but if you want to join us, definitely follow us
on Patreon where we have our after show and we
have a lot of fun directly after this episode. Yeah, anyway,
(06:03):
go back to the episode, all.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Right, Well, then Sam comes over and she starts kind
of figuring out the designs for each one of the
wives and their dresses kind of have Christine, who wants
an empire waste, I don't know why it's not flattering.
Janelle wants a rap dress, which is very flattering for
her in her curves. Mary wants to be edgy. Yeah,
(06:25):
that was interesting, different and unique. Yeah, and flowy she wants,
which is not edgy, No like floey and drapie which
else I think what she said is not the same
thing as edgy, no and different. But I think Mary
is really trying hard to stand out, which we've seen
in like other parts of this particular episode where she's
(06:46):
like not happy, she doesn't necessarily believe in the commitment ceremony,
Like she's the only one who's dissenting kind of loudly
about things. Yeah, because I think she just wants to
be acknowledged and seen as a member of the family. Yikes,
and nobody cares no one cares.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Nobody cares about Mary.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
At all, dude, It's kind of crazy. And then, of
course Robin she wants a matronly dress similar to the
ones that she saw on the boutiques in San Francisco. Yes,
and of course, like I think her dress ends up
looking like the best when we get to the actual
commitment ceremony, looks better than all the other wives.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
But wait, are they wearing the dresses in the commitment ceremony?
I know Christine's not.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I think she is. I think they're all wearing it
except for Mary, because as we get to later in
the episode, Mary's dress is a complete fucking failure, and
I think she ends up getting a new dress.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
What, yeah, girl, Christine is going to wear that obamination
princess dressed to this yes commitment ceremony? Wow?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Okay, I know, but she does, and it's bright orange.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
It's terrible. It's literally the worst thing ever. Like when
Sam originally comes over just to cut a pattern, she's
got like pinks and purples and blacks, I'm like, oh,
that'll looks nice. What it ends up being like rust
and brown and earth tones. Oh, oh my god, I
was revolted. I was revolted. Poor Christine if.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
She's actually wearing that, so bad, so bad. And then
we have the family go into therapy with Nancy for
some reason.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
To finish their mission statement that nobody cares about.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Literally no one cares. I don't know why we're doing this,
and it's like all manufactured too, like we're not talking
about anything that really matters. We talk about the mission statement.
They want to focus on physical health and like working out,
needing healthy, Like okay, you really do.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Kind of get a snapshot though of what TLC used
to be like with the Goslins and the Duggers, like
just boring ass television, super boring, and we were just
eating it up and so fascinated by these polygamis and
their dressmaker. I'm like, oh my god, this is terrible
content in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
It's horrible. I'm so freaking bored. And then they also
talk about what would happen if Cody would get another wife,
and this is like so dumb, because we obviously know
he's found his soulmate with Robin, and Cody says he
doesn't foresee getting another wife. He thinks he's done. And
then we have Mary on the couch after this, saying
(09:19):
she's concerned about what's going to happen in the family
after the commitment ceremony, and then Cody shuts her down
and is like, well, no, just shift your mindset though,
stop being concerned, be happy.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, that was wild a little bit because I thought
Mary was attempting to have a real ass convo about
the actual issues in the family. She was trying to
just raise the flag and say, hey, but like, this
is great, We're having another party, We're like putting on airs,
But what about the day after and beyond? Are we
(09:50):
going to be friends? Are we going to be in
a real marriage? Is this a real family? Like she's
not saying it out right, but I think she's trying
to raise the issue, and Cody just immediately shuts her down.
And furthermore, none of the other wives acknowledge her statement
or validate her statement, because you know, Christine's wondering, Oh, definitely,
(10:11):
Christine's not getting the Mormon dye. You know Janelle, Well,
maybe Janelle is in the renaissance in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I've been.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
She's blowing it down and maybe it's a juicy time. Yeah,
but those other two women aren't. Yeah, but nobody backs
her up. I know.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I thought that was kind of an interesting little part
right there. And it seemed to me too that like
Cody was a little annoyed that Mary brought that up
on camera because it seemed like it's something that they
are trying to keep under wraps at this time. They
don't want people to know that there's trouble of bruin
or that any of the wives are concerned about anything.
And that's why I think Cody shut her down.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, but I love those little moments meeting Christine just
lets it all out, or Janelle or Mary. I just
wish they said more, I know, because it makes these
boring ass episodes that much more bearable. And then we
have Sam coming back to the house to do some
more pattern fittings, and this is where we see Christine
in her god awful princess dress and Cody says she
(11:08):
looks like a princess and Christine's.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like, yeah, like totally fits me, and I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But on the couch, Cody says, well, I don't know
what to say because I don't think as a man
I'm supposed to just come out and say that is
the worst dress I've ever seen in my life and
you look terrible in it, yeah, which means that's what
he really thought. So in the moment, and certainly in
front of Sam, and like they're all trying to be
very cool to Sam. Nobody is dogging out her designs
(11:35):
or admitting that these are trash dresses because they're you know,
they don't want to throw her under the bus or whatever.
But Cody comes close. Yes, these are terrible dresses. And
I don't know what to say to my wives. They
look absolutely awful. And Christine, you look like a gloun.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I know, look like a gloun. Seriously, it's so bad.
And again, like I feel so bad for Sam because
you know, the wives acknowledge that they realized they started
this whole dress props. It's way too late, thank you.
And I'm like, this is so much stress to put
on a seamstress like this, Like my mom used to
make clothes and she was really really talented with it,
but it would take her a while. And like even
(12:09):
Mary acknowledges it. Like I saw all of the kids
pajamas and stuff like that, Like I know it's a process,
but she's being very critical and like finicky with her
dress and very particular. I think Janelle even makes a
comment like on the couch, Janelle's like, yeah, I had
to warn the designer just before we started this process
that you were going to be a problem, Mary, But
(12:31):
like you know, I know, it's just because your particular.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And Mary's just smiling, but like inwardly, I'm thinking, oh,
she's pissed, she's upset. Yeah, she's mad, super pissed.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
But it's like Mary, I mean, hello, you picked like
the worst fucking fabric known to mankind?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Did Mary pick that fabric?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Wait, the wives picked their fabric? Yeah? When did we
establish that? Because I thought that the designer just brought
the fabric.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
No, I think they picked it because I remember.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I remember they went to San Francisco, and I remember
they were looking at colors, but I did not know
like they were pulling bolts and selecting fabric.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think they were selecting fabric because when they were
at the fabric store, they were picking like colors and
stuff that they liked. And I think that was implied
that they like picked fabric that they liked, because even
Sam was bitching about Mary's fabric and how it's gonna
look like a cheap clown costume. Yeah, they were howling costume.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Fabric is supposed to be for aupholstery, Yeah, for couches
and stuff. Yeah, for dentist furniture, not for actual dresses.
That's wild that Mary picked that.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Well, it's because Mary's Mary.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I mean, none of them are like fashionistas, let's say.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Not at all, to say the least. And then we
have a rehearsal or like a booty rehearsal for the
commitment ceremony, and this is where they're talking about how
they're gonna have family pictures, and then they talk about
Cody's beard for some reason because they like his beard.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, And so that's interesting because I guess when we
started this episode, it was forty days till the Sarah moony,
and then we kind of go through the timeline and
now we're like a week out or something, and he's
got a full on beard and he's wondering if he's
gonna shave it for the pictures, and he's telling his
kids and his wives like, this is going to be
the one picture we're gonna take. It's going to be
the best picture of our lives. Everybody has to dress up,
(14:15):
everybody has to be fly, and I don't know if
I'm going to keep this beard. And Janelle's like, I
love it, daddy, And I think did Mary like it?
I don't, Christine did not, and I don't think Robin did.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, I think Christine and Robin didn't like it. But
Mary was like, yeah, it's fine, because Mary's just trying
to get Cody to touch her poon Ani again.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Just a little just one thing.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Just a little bit. Maybe if I compliment him, he'll
just touch me.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Looks great. Sorry, I'm stuff right there. So much I
could say, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And then we have like all of the kids trying
to gather around. They're trying to like rehearse how they
would get for pictures and stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
This isn't a wedding, well it's note.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
It's not at all. And then Janelle yells and all
the kids for being rowdy and annoying guess their teenage boys.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they don't want to do this, No nobody does.
I don't want to do this. Hunter and Gabe circa
twenty fourteen. I don't want to be there either.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
They don't want to do it at all, and then
they talk about how they want to have all the
kids sign the mission statement, but Cody doesn't want to
force the kids to sign it because it's very important
that they have the choice. And then Robin gets mad
at that. She's like, what's the point of us doing
the stupid ass.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Missions tam Well, because Maddie's like, well, I don't know
if I want to sign it, And on the couch,
Maddie's like, I just want to push Robin's buttons.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
And that made Robin mad.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
It did make Robin mad because.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Robin made that comment.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, what was the comment? Because I played it back
a couple of times.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
She's like, well, if you guys don't want to sign it,
then you guys need to move out, like you don't
get to live with us. I'm like, okay, it seems
very dressed.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Wow, it seems very dramatic.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Robin dang from like a glorified like stepmom that comes
into an established family late in the day, you know,
late in the development timeline, and you want to sit
there and say, the kids get it kicked out. Were
not signing the mission this booty as mission statement that
you can't even finish right, okay, And then we hear
from the older kids, which I thought was really base,
(16:12):
and I wish we could hear more from them, because
all of them are like, I don't know why we're
doing this. There's no point, Like we're a family, we
love each other. I don't know why we need to
have a ceremony saying that we love each other. And like,
I think it was Hunter that said, I think this
is more important for the parents than it is for
all of us, like we don't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
And I think he is on the money with that one,
because we do have Christine saying somewhere in this episode,
like after San Francisco, you know, when we spent time
together just the wives trying to be friends. I really
did see how I wanted to develop these relationships, like
if something happened to Cody or you know, the next chapter,
(16:52):
if one of us left, like would we still be
connected in some way? And so this is important to Christine,
It's it's not it's important to Janelle. But I think
it's important to Robin to feel included, and I think
Cody wants Robin to feel that way. Cody wants all
of his wives to be copiesthetic, and it's really about
them not getting along at this time, exactly, trying to
(17:13):
show everybody that they do get along and that they
love each other when they don't.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
And they want to rope all of the children into
it who are not into it whatsoever. And they probably
have their own fucking beef with Robin and kids.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yes, they're dealing with their.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Own shit like it really should, in my opinion, be
like a ceremony reserved for the adults, and they should
continue going to therapy. Yeah, but they don't end up
going if they wanted to actually cultivate and work on
their relationships, but we know they don't. They don't give
a shit. And then we start discussing the sad ceremony
that they all want to do at the commitment celebration.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Now, this was just about the wives though, right, not Cody.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, I think it was because it was about like
the Sister Wives union.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So they each all have their own color of sand,
and then they pour it one by one until all
of their sand is gone.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
They knt it off there for a moment.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
They pour it all into one big jar, mix all
their sand together, and then that's how they signify that
they're all unified together. And Robin is like super into it,
so it's her idea. Definitely is her idea. And I
don't know. I mean, it's cool on paper, but if
you're not gonna like actively work on your relationships, like,
what's the fucking point.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's entirely superficial. Yep. It's absolutely a projection of what
they want to be and what they want to have,
but that they do not have, yep, in order to
convince us and everybody else that they're okay. Yep.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah. And like I was reminded of when my dad
and my stepmom got married, and my stepmom really wanted
to do this sand ceremony because they got married on
the Organ beach, and we all it was so cringe
because me and my sister didn't really want to be there,
and my stepbrothers didn't want to be there, and we're
at their wedding and you know, after their vows and stuff,
(18:59):
then get out a big old jar and then we
have to awkwardly pour all of our sand in it.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
And oh and it was supposed.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
To signify like our blended family, and like at the
time it seemed cute and everything but like now we're
all like estranged, and so it's like, what's the point
in that? And so are the Browns and it is
so now I'm like sand ceremonies are cursed. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
It's not gonna work out Brown family.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because it does it, No, it does not, It doesn't
at all if you don't want to put the action
or the effort into maintaining the relationships and like, I
don't know, not being a bitch, Robin, yeah, geez.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Start there.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And then we have Sam returning for more fittings of
the dresses, and this is where we're starting to see
some of them get put together. We have Janelle walking
around with no sleeves.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Which is not what you want as a big girl. No,
and an aging girl. You got a little wobble, you
got a little gobble. Yeah, you want all that to
just be tucked away, Yeah, tucked in. You want the illusion.
And I think that out of all of the women,
maybe Janelle is the nicest. I know, you said, Roberts.
I mean, Robin's is okay, but I think Janelle's is
(20:05):
the most serviceable.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Agreed.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I can see how that would look nice, But that's
the only one for.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Me, definitely, And I do like Janelle's pleading that she's
doing around here whatever. I think that's very flattering. I
like the blue on her. I think it's very pretty.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
She's good in jewel tones.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Honestly, Janelle in these earlier seasons gorge very much. So,
I mean, they're all fine except for Robin, but like
Janelle in particularly Janelle in particular very pretty. And then
we have well, no, she's pretty well, yeah, I mean
I like the blondes, Oh you do anyway, Then we
(20:42):
have Christine walking around in her empire waist orange Renaissance.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
What happened? I don't know when she was draping, when
she was cutting, I don't there weren't as many layers.
It didn't look like a blanket. It's so bad. It's
a terrible color.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
There's no fitting.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Christine stands in front of the mirror and she's lying
and she's like, oh, it's great, Yeah, I see it now,
I get it. I'm like, you get what what do
you get to get?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
What? You get?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
A terrible potato sack?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
For real?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You get a potato sack with a gold ribbon, frumpy
dumpy right under your boubets yeah, so bad, terrible.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, and then we have Robin in like I think
it's a dark purple dress, is what it looked like.
And she's not really into it either, but she's just
like hoping for the best. I think hers end up
ends up looking fine when we get to the actual
commitment ceremony, and we'll see. And then we get to
Mary's with her absolute terrible, horrible. What can you even say,
(21:39):
talk about a potato sack.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You're getting voted out if you're on Project Runway. Oh,
you're not even getting onto Project Runway. I felt so
bad for Sam, and now that I know that she
was not able to select the fabrics and that really
it was the ladies designs and it was the lady's ideas.
Like she's doing the best that she can as a
recent graduate. Yet furthermore so, she's like not established, she
hasn't doing this forever.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Like looking at her personal style, I thought she was
very stylish. Yeah, I'm sure this is not the type
of clothing she wants to decide. And we get to
marry and it is like thick, it doesn't mold, move, flow, drape, awful,
it's awful business.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Terrible and you can like see the look on Mary's face,
which is like total panic because she's like, what the
fuck am I going to do? Because this looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
To the mall. It's like, why is this a crisis?
Why are we so dramatic? Just go to the mall,
go to the store, go to the Macy's and get
you a dress, honey.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I mean, I don't know why we're like panicking and
like paying for a dress designer to make all these productions.
It's just like so stupid to me. And it was
kind of giving, like, look at us, we're so rich
in fancy because we pay a designer to make these
beautiful dresses.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Is that what she thought it was giving it? Yeah,
maybe they were trying to get what I'm saying, but
it was bottom barrel of absolutely le sewing school one
oh one terribleness.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's awful. I feel really bad for Sam because I
feel like she really wanted to prove herself and she
started with the worst four people in the world to
make dresses for That's why I'm like, what are you
doing now? Are you not? Are you no longer a designer?
I would be I'd be like I'm giving up.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, after that.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, and then we have Robin who wants to show
off everybody, like, show off her jewelry to everybody that
she designed.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Right, because they're gonna have a ceremony within the ceremony
where Cody distributes jewelry to all the wives and the kids.
And of course this is jewelry that Robin has designed,
because I don't know, have you heard, but she's got
this business called My Sister Wives Closet where she sells upscale, silver,
(23:51):
beautiful jewelry. And this is some of what she's designed.
Cuffs for the boys, necklace, bracelets for the girirls, Trees
of life yep.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
And I'm like, this is probably where a lot of
their money went for this whole stupid ceremony.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
That was their budget.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I mean, like all of the jewelry, which is unnecessary.
It's so unnecessary. I don't know why we need to
do this. It's just for Robin to be like, look,
I designed it. I care so much about the family
and the kids. Like I'm coming here cap in hand
giving you ugly gaudy jewelry because no one else will
buy it on my website but the family. Right, So
here's this stock that I need to get rid of
(24:33):
because I love you guys, and I'm giving it to you.
It's so bad. But anyway, so she gives them all
their jewelry and they're gonna have some dumb ceremony with it.
I can't wait to see it because everybody, you know,
everyone's gonna hate it.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Well, and the kids are gonna be They're not gonna care,
they're not gonna want it. I don't think I recall
any child ever wearing it on camera. That's since I've
been watching, and certainly none of the wives have.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah, But when she is showing the camera her designs,
she does talk about how she always wanted to be
a polygamist ever since it was modeled to her by
her mistress mother, who had this long term affair with
her daddy, Yeah, her stepdaddy who was there at her
birth inappropriately weird, I dare say. And so she's always
(25:21):
had these dreams of being part of a big, well
functioning polygamist family. And now she's thirty five years old
and she finally has it. And this is what has
inspired her beautiful designs of the Tree of Life on
her cuffs and her bracelets. I'm just like, okay, only
for you too.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Within five years, begin to destroy the well you're doing
it now, like, begin to truly destroy this entire family
and break the hearts of wives and children everywhere.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
It's crazy. And then we pop on over to like
pretty much the end of the episode, where we have
Christine dyeing the sand for the sand ceremony and numb.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Mur It's like, so bad.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I don't care. I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Why would I care? Who cares? Nobody cares, Nobody cares.
Why did you think I would ever care?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, you'll see. And this is where Sam starts pinning
Robin's dress and Mary's dress, and this is where Robin's like,
I don't like my dress at all. I think it's booty,
but she's not gonna say anything. And we have Mary's
dress and Mary's like, this is horrible. Can we say that?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
But if we make a little change here and there
and say, I'm like, no, it's not gonna happen. This
is a train wreck.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
It's awful.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
It's the worst that it could ever be.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
And Mary's panicking. She's like, I don't know what I'm
gonna do right, go to fucking Macy's, Like, you said, yes, Hello,
I don't understand. This is the time where malls were
still popping. Absolutely, malls are dead nowadays. I'm like, you
could have gone to any store you're in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Oh my god, go to Ross.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yes, I don't understand. And then it's two days away
from the ceremony. Oh my god, everybody's panicking excited.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
We have like, I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Wait, nothing prepared. You have Cody who's still hanging lights
up in the fucking could sack, and he's messing it up,
and he's getting frantic and he's getting an attitude, and
we have tables coming and guests are RSV peeing, and
Janelle's like, nothing's done. I don't know how we're gonna
(27:20):
put this together. And then we get to the preview. Yeah,
and this is where Cody is still trying to hang lights.
Janelle's worried that Sam is gonna just snap and run away.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Well, Sam literally says in the preview, I was just
in the laundry mat, laundrymat with the laundry room, crying
my eyes out because I'm so despondent and desolate over
the state of these designs and I might run away.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I feel bad for her, dude, you do. I mean,
this is a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I feel like she was set up.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yoh definitely to fail. Yeah, definitely. And then we have
like everybody gathering around for photos and this is like
at the actual ceremony where everybody's dressed up, and Cody
has a fucking like meltdown. Did you see the way
his face looked?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah, freaky yeah. And this is one of those moments
where I have to wonder, like, was he a good dad?
Did he really want to be with all these kids?
Did he really want to have this big, happy family?
Because we've seen him all season delegating his fatherly responsibilities
away to his elder children. And now we have this
(28:26):
beautiful moment that you have manufactured and created on purpose.
You've manifested as the architect of your lives. It's beautiful picture.
And you're pissed, you're screaming. You're telling kids that they
won't be able to stay in the house or they
won't be able to be a part of the family.
I mean, why are we doing this? Then? What the heck?
If you're not happy?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
And then you have that like crazy look on your face,
like before you smile for the cameras. I'm like demons, yeah,
straight up, de monic, dmonic, principalities and powers. I'm like,
chill the fuck out. Yeah, Bro's like it's just a
weird little moment. It happens for like two seconds, but
(29:05):
it's definitely a window into how they actually act, like
probably off camera.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Which is why Mary is worried. But what's gonna happen
after the commitment ceremony because this is the raw materials
that she's dealing with.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Mary was a fake psychic even back then, she could
sense some shit was happening.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Mary Brown one of us. Yeah, I was actually thinking
when she was getting fitted and she was like interacting
with the other women that out of all the women
except maybe Janelle, but maybe even more than Janelle, I
would want to hang out with Mary really.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I think she's a fun girl. I think she's a
girl's girl. And I think she was trying to work
with Sam. I think she wanted to support Sam. I mean,
I love Janelle, but she's kind of a dud.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I don't know if she wants to go out to karaoke,
But I could see Mary with her like Mickey Mouse's
ears absolutely at a Disney karaoke bar, and I knew
they're right with her. I mean that's fair singing silver Spring,
Oh my god, I believe, And I would kill the hoodie.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
She probably would love that if she could just like
let loose and let some of her fucking walls down.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Nice, let some down, honey.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Straight up. Anyway, that's it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Well, is there anything else that we need to say
to these beautiful raccoons before we get up on at
a here pitches?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Well, if you love our podcast, please go to your
favorite podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star review.
Really helps uscrow the pod some more people can join
us in the dumpster and we really appreciate it, so
thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And also, if you're a vip raccoon on Patreon, stay
tuned for our upcoming after show in just a minute
or two. But until we come back, please do not
forget that we truly have nothing but love for you,
and
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Please o n by it.
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one
of your hosts, Delia here with my real tight homegirl
and my daughter in law, the illustrious, the resplendent Bitch.
That means we are here to talk sister, whys honey.
(00:25):
We are all caught up and almost done with season
six finally, the first year in the called the Sack,
the run up to the commitment ceremony, which is oh
so important. Yeah, which is what we talk about tonight.
If we can make it. What are we going to
talk about?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
This whole episode sucked so much donkey balls, I can't
even remember what I want.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I don't either, I.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Don't know if I'm here right now, I'm not. We're
going to do our very best before we get into it, though,
we do have to remind you to please hotch what
hod your kids? This is a politically incorrect podcast, which
means we say stupid things. We're just here to party.
We're literally just here to have fun real and so
(01:11):
if you're one of them sensitive people, go away. You
might want to find yourself a different dumpster. But if
you're ready to revisit the Call de sac drama and
the poor Dress designer Sam Honey Honey, well, then welcome
to this.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
And if you like what we do over here, please
be sure to follow us on Instagram at Reality tv Cringe.
It's our only social media, okay, and then join us
on Patreon, Patreon, dot com, sash Reality TV Gringe. We're
wrapping up our coverage of season two of The Valley
over there with a bunch of other bonus stuff. It's
really fun except for the value.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
The Valley is so toxic, but we get all the
way into it, so definitely come and join us now.
If you are watching on YouTube, please do not forget
to like and com and share and subscribe because when
you interact with our content, whether it's positive or negative,
although I don't know why it would ever be negative. Yeah,
it really does boost us in the algo, and when
(02:11):
we're growing in the algo, we're getting fatter, and when
we're fatter, we're the.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Best versions of ourselves.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Beatrice exactly, do thank you in things? So did you
have any takeaways with this episode before we get into it,
My dear, I felt.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Really bad for that dress designer because I feel like
she was trying her best, But at the same time,
I'm like, these dresses are booty e.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Fuh, so terrible?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
How bad?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I think she knew it, yeah, and I'm sure she
was like telling her whole family like, oh my god,
sister wives, have you heard of it? They asked me
to be a dress designer. I'm going to help the
four wives. It's gonna be so great. What an opportunity.
And she comes in looking edgy and fly and wonderful,
and I'm thinking these are gonna be great. Yeah, well
I'm not because I've already seen this, but I mean, like,
(03:04):
these dresses are so bad, so terrible. I do feel
bad for her as well. I wonder where she is.
Where are you now? Sam?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Hiding under a rock?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Are you? Okay? Oh my lord?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
All right?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
So get us start at Beatrice with season six episode
is it eighteen? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Entitled Celebration Countdown?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, God, Godnes's.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Gracious, it's like the never ending season. This season is
like incredibly long. Yes, And then we have this episode
that I don't even know why we have because it's
like before the commitment ceremony, but it's like forty days
to the commitment ceremony, so we still have some time.
But everybody's acting like it's so last minute, they have
(03:47):
so many things to plan, and I'm just like, I
don't care.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Nobody cares, and it's so manufactured, and it's so truly boring,
and you're not talking about the real story, which is,
why are you doing all of these improvements to Robin's backyard?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And why aren't we talking about how much it's costing?
And are the other wives asking themselves, well, how come
Robin gets to have all these improvements? And I'm over
here with the Moonscape exactly. We're not having the real conversations,
and so I'm bored.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm very bored. But we start off with the family
talking about the commitment ceremony, and it seems like the
parents are the only ones that are excited about it.
Nobody else is excited about it. We have landscaping done
and Robin's backyard, and then now we have to find
the dressmaker we meet in this episode. Poor Sam. Yeah,
I feel really bad for And then they have to
(04:38):
figure out a menu, and then they have to finish
the mission statement because we've been working on that for forever.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, this entire season, and we haven't finished the Donah.
We were talking about it yet we were talking about
it before the Dona. We're still talking about it, and
nobody cares. They don't care, Janelle doesn't care, Mary's not
into it, the kids hate it. Why are we doing this?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Yeah, for content.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yep, and for Cody, probably because Cody wants to like
portray that they're all happy and they're perfectly fine, even
though we all know that trouble is happening in this
cul de sac already, and it's because Cody's over at
Robins and decorating her house, So it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Speaking of Cody, we are going to have an after show,
by the way, because as you know, we have discussed
that he's going to be a part of Special Forces
season four, Season four World Domination Soldiers, World's Toughest, That's
what I meant. He's going to be a part of that,
and there's some gossip around that. There's also some things
that he's done to his whole face that we're going
(05:41):
to get into, and he's made a recent Instagram post
in which he divulges a bit of information and so
we want to talk about it, yeah, but we're going
to reserve that for after this episode with y' all
but if you want to join us, definitely follow us
on Patreon where we have our after show and we
have a lot of fun directly after this episode. Yeah, anyway,
(06:03):
go back to the episode, all.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Right, Well, then Sam comes over and she starts kind
of figuring out the designs for each one of the
wives and their dresses kind of have Christine, who wants
an empire waste, I don't know why it's not flattering.
Janelle wants a rap dress, which is very flattering for
her in her curves. Mary wants to be edgy. Yeah,
(06:25):
that was interesting, different and unique. Yeah, and flowy she wants,
which is not edgy, No like floey and drapie which
else I think what she said is not the same
thing as edgy, no and different. But I think Mary
is really trying hard to stand out, which we've seen
in like other parts of this particular episode where she's
(06:46):
like not happy, she doesn't necessarily believe in the commitment ceremony,
Like she's the only one who's dissenting kind of loudly
about things. Yeah, because I think she just wants to
be acknowledged and seen as a member of the family. Yikes,
and nobody cares no one cares.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Nobody cares about Mary.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
At all, dude, It's kind of crazy. And then, of
course Robin she wants a matronly dress similar to the
ones that she saw on the boutiques in San Francisco. Yes,
and of course, like I think her dress ends up
looking like the best when we get to the actual
commitment ceremony, looks better than all the other wives.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
But wait, are they wearing the dresses in the commitment ceremony?
I know Christine's not.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I think she is. I think they're all wearing it
except for Mary, because as we get to later in
the episode, Mary's dress is a complete fucking failure, and
I think she ends up getting a new dress.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
What, yeah, girl, Christine is going to wear that obamination
princess dressed to this yes commitment ceremony? Wow?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Okay, I know, but she does, and it's bright orange.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
It's terrible. It's literally the worst thing ever. Like when
Sam originally comes over just to cut a pattern, she's
got like pinks and purples and blacks, I'm like, oh,
that'll looks nice. What it ends up being like rust
and brown and earth tones. Oh, oh my god, I
was revolted. I was revolted. Poor Christine if.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
She's actually wearing that, so bad, so bad. And then
we have the family go into therapy with Nancy for
some reason.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
To finish their mission statement that nobody cares about.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Literally no one cares. I don't know why we're doing this,
and it's like all manufactured too, like we're not talking
about anything that really matters. We talk about the mission statement.
They want to focus on physical health and like working out,
needing healthy, Like okay, you really do.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Kind of get a snapshot though of what TLC used
to be like with the Goslins and the Duggers, like
just boring ass television, super boring, and we were just
eating it up and so fascinated by these polygamis and
their dressmaker. I'm like, oh my god, this is terrible
content in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
It's horrible. I'm so freaking bored. And then they also
talk about what would happen if Cody would get another wife,
and this is like so dumb, because we obviously know
he's found his soulmate with Robin, and Cody says he
doesn't foresee getting another wife. He thinks he's done. And
then we have Mary on the couch after this, saying
(09:19):
she's concerned about what's going to happen in the family
after the commitment ceremony, and then Cody shuts her down
and is like, well, no, just shift your mindset though,
stop being concerned, be happy.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, that was wild a little bit because I thought
Mary was attempting to have a real ass convo about
the actual issues in the family. She was trying to
just raise the flag and say, hey, but like, this
is great, We're having another party, We're like putting on airs,
But what about the day after and beyond? Are we
(09:50):
going to be friends? Are we going to be in
a real marriage? Is this a real family? Like she's
not saying it out right, but I think she's trying
to raise the issue, and Cody just immediately shuts her down.
And furthermore, none of the other wives acknowledge her statement
or validate her statement, because you know, Christine's wondering, Oh, definitely,
(10:11):
Christine's not getting the Mormon dye. You know Janelle, Well,
maybe Janelle is in the renaissance in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I've been.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
She's blowing it down and maybe it's a juicy time. Yeah,
but those other two women aren't. Yeah, but nobody backs
her up. I know.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I thought that was kind of an interesting little part
right there. And it seemed to me too that like
Cody was a little annoyed that Mary brought that up
on camera because it seemed like it's something that they
are trying to keep under wraps at this time. They
don't want people to know that there's trouble of bruin
or that any of the wives are concerned about anything.
And that's why I think Cody shut her down.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, but I love those little moments meeting Christine just
lets it all out, or Janelle or Mary. I just
wish they said more, I know, because it makes these
boring ass episodes that much more bearable. And then we
have Sam coming back to the house to do some
more pattern fittings, and this is where we see Christine
in her god awful princess dress and Cody says she
(11:08):
looks like a princess and Christine's.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like, yeah, like totally fits me, and I'm like okay.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But on the couch, Cody says, well, I don't know
what to say because I don't think as a man
I'm supposed to just come out and say that is
the worst dress I've ever seen in my life and
you look terrible in it, yeah, which means that's what
he really thought. So in the moment, and certainly in
front of Sam, and like they're all trying to be
very cool to Sam. Nobody is dogging out her designs
(11:35):
or admitting that these are trash dresses because they're you know,
they don't want to throw her under the bus or whatever.
But Cody comes close. Yes, these are terrible dresses. And
I don't know what to say to my wives. They
look absolutely awful. And Christine, you look like a gloun.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I know, look like a gloun. Seriously, it's so bad.
And again, like I feel so bad for Sam because
you know, the wives acknowledge that they realized they started
this whole dress props. It's way too late, thank you.
And I'm like, this is so much stress to put
on a seamstress like this, Like my mom used to
make clothes and she was really really talented with it,
but it would take her a while. And like even
(12:09):
Mary acknowledges it. Like I saw all of the kids
pajamas and stuff like that, Like I know it's a process,
but she's being very critical and like finicky with her
dress and very particular. I think Janelle even makes a
comment like on the couch, Janelle's like, yeah, I had
to warn the designer just before we started this process
that you were going to be a problem, Mary, But
(12:31):
like you know, I know, it's just because your particular.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And Mary's just smiling, but like inwardly, I'm thinking, oh,
she's pissed, she's upset. Yeah, she's mad, super pissed.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
But it's like Mary, I mean, hello, you picked like
the worst fucking fabric known to mankind?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Did Mary pick that fabric?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
So?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Wait, the wives picked their fabric? Yeah? When did we
establish that? Because I thought that the designer just brought
the fabric.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
No, I think they picked it because I remember.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I remember they went to San Francisco, and I remember
they were looking at colors, but I did not know
like they were pulling bolts and selecting fabric.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I think they were selecting fabric because when they were
at the fabric store, they were picking like colors and
stuff that they liked. And I think that was implied
that they like picked fabric that they liked, because even
Sam was bitching about Mary's fabric and how it's gonna
look like a cheap clown costume. Yeah, they were howling costume.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Fabric is supposed to be for aupholstery, Yeah, for couches
and stuff. Yeah, for dentist furniture, not for actual dresses.
That's wild that Mary picked that.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Well, it's because Mary's Mary.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I mean, none of them are like fashionistas, let's say.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Not at all, to say the least. And then we
have a rehearsal or like a booty rehearsal for the
commitment ceremony, and this is where they're talking about how
they're gonna have family pictures, and then they talk about
Cody's beard for some reason because they like his beard.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, And so that's interesting because I guess when we
started this episode, it was forty days till the Sarah moony,
and then we kind of go through the timeline and
now we're like a week out or something, and he's
got a full on beard and he's wondering if he's
gonna shave it for the pictures, and he's telling his
kids and his wives like, this is going to be
the one picture we're gonna take. It's going to be
the best picture of our lives. Everybody has to dress up,
(14:15):
everybody has to be fly, and I don't know if
I'm going to keep this beard. And Janelle's like, I
love it, daddy, And I think did Mary like it?
I don't, Christine did not, and I don't think Robin did.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, I think Christine and Robin didn't like it. But
Mary was like, yeah, it's fine, because Mary's just trying
to get Cody to touch her poon Ani again.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Just a little just one thing.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Just a little bit. Maybe if I compliment him, he'll
just touch me.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Looks great. Sorry, I'm stuff right there. So much I
could say, I know.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And then we have like all of the kids trying
to gather around. They're trying to like rehearse how they
would get for pictures and stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
This isn't a wedding, well it's note.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
It's not at all. And then Janelle yells and all
the kids for being rowdy and annoying guess their teenage boys.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they don't want to do this, No nobody does.
I don't want to do this. Hunter and Gabe circa
twenty fourteen. I don't want to be there either.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
They don't want to do it at all, and then
they talk about how they want to have all the
kids sign the mission statement, but Cody doesn't want to
force the kids to sign it because it's very important
that they have the choice. And then Robin gets mad
at that. She's like, what's the point of us doing
the stupid ass.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Missions tam Well, because Maddie's like, well, I don't know
if I want to sign it, And on the couch,
Maddie's like, I just want to push Robin's buttons.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
And that made Robin mad.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
It did make Robin mad because.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Robin made that comment.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, what was the comment? Because I played it back
a couple of times.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
She's like, well, if you guys don't want to sign it,
then you guys need to move out, like you don't
get to live with us. I'm like, okay, it seems
very dressed.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Wow, it seems very dramatic.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Robin dang from like a glorified like stepmom that comes
into an established family late in the day, you know,
late in the development timeline, and you want to sit
there and say, the kids get it kicked out. Were
not signing the mission this booty as mission statement that
you can't even finish right, okay, And then we hear
from the older kids, which I thought was really base,
(16:12):
and I wish we could hear more from them, because
all of them are like, I don't know why we're
doing this. There's no point, Like we're a family, we
love each other. I don't know why we need to
have a ceremony saying that we love each other. And like,
I think it was Hunter that said, I think this
is more important for the parents than it is for
all of us, like we don't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
And I think he is on the money with that one,
because we do have Christine saying somewhere in this episode,
like after San Francisco, you know, when we spent time
together just the wives trying to be friends. I really
did see how I wanted to develop these relationships, like
if something happened to Cody or you know, the next chapter,
(16:52):
if one of us left, like would we still be
connected in some way? And so this is important to Christine,
It's it's not it's important to Janelle. But I think
it's important to Robin to feel included, and I think
Cody wants Robin to feel that way. Cody wants all
of his wives to be copiesthetic, and it's really about
them not getting along at this time, exactly, trying to
(17:13):
show everybody that they do get along and that they
love each other when they don't.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
And they want to rope all of the children into
it who are not into it whatsoever. And they probably
have their own fucking beef with Robin and kids.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Yes, they're dealing with their.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Own shit like it really should, in my opinion, be
like a ceremony reserved for the adults, and they should
continue going to therapy. Yeah, but they don't end up
going if they wanted to actually cultivate and work on
their relationships, but we know they don't. They don't give
a shit. And then we start discussing the sad ceremony
that they all want to do at the commitment celebration.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Now, this was just about the wives though, right, not Cody.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Yeah, I think it was because it was about like
the Sister Wives union.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
So they each all have their own color of sand,
and then they pour it one by one until all
of their sand is gone.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
They knt it off there for a moment.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
They pour it all into one big jar, mix all
their sand together, and then that's how they signify that
they're all unified together. And Robin is like super into it,
so it's her idea. Definitely is her idea. And I
don't know. I mean, it's cool on paper, but if
you're not gonna like actively work on your relationships, like,
what's the fucking point.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's entirely superficial. Yep. It's absolutely a projection of what
they want to be and what they want to have,
but that they do not have, yep, in order to
convince us and everybody else that they're okay. Yep.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah. And like I was reminded of when my dad
and my stepmom got married, and my stepmom really wanted
to do this sand ceremony because they got married on
the Organ beach, and we all it was so cringe
because me and my sister didn't really want to be there,
and my stepbrothers didn't want to be there, and we're
at their wedding and you know, after their vows and stuff,
(18:59):
then get out a big old jar and then we
have to awkwardly pour all of our sand in it.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
And oh and it was supposed.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
To signify like our blended family, and like at the
time it seemed cute and everything but like now we're
all like estranged, and so it's like, what's the point
in that? And so are the Browns and it is
so now I'm like sand ceremonies are cursed. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
It's not gonna work out Brown family.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because it does it, No, it does not, It doesn't
at all if you don't want to put the action
or the effort into maintaining the relationships and like, I
don't know, not being a bitch, Robin, yeah, geez.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Start there.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
And then we have Sam returning for more fittings of
the dresses, and this is where we're starting to see
some of them get put together. We have Janelle walking
around with no sleeves.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Which is not what you want as a big girl. No,
and an aging girl. You got a little wobble, you
got a little gobble. Yeah, you want all that to
just be tucked away, Yeah, tucked in. You want the illusion.
And I think that out of all of the women,
maybe Janelle is the nicest. I know, you said, Roberts.
I mean, Robin's is okay, but I think Janelle's is
(20:05):
the most serviceable.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Agreed.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I can see how that would look nice, But that's
the only one for.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Me, definitely, And I do like Janelle's pleading that she's
doing around here whatever. I think that's very flattering. I
like the blue on her. I think it's very pretty.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
She's good in jewel tones.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Honestly, Janelle in these earlier seasons gorge very much. So,
I mean, they're all fine except for Robin, but like
Janelle in particularly Janelle in particular very pretty. And then
we have well, no, she's pretty well, yeah, I mean
I like the blondes, Oh you do anyway, Then we
(20:42):
have Christine walking around in her empire waist orange Renaissance.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
What happened? I don't know when she was draping, when
she was cutting, I don't there weren't as many layers.
It didn't look like a blanket. It's so bad. It's
a terrible color.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
There's no fitting.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Christine stands in front of the mirror and she's lying
and she's like, oh, it's great, Yeah, I see it now,
I get it. I'm like, you get what what do
you get to get?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
What? You get?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
A terrible potato sack?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
For real?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
You get a potato sack with a gold ribbon, frumpy
dumpy right under your boubets yeah, so bad, terrible.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, and then we have Robin in like I think
it's a dark purple dress, is what it looked like.
And she's not really into it either, but she's just
like hoping for the best. I think hers end up
ends up looking fine when we get to the actual
commitment ceremony, and we'll see. And then we get to
Mary's with her absolute terrible, horrible. What can you even say,
(21:39):
talk about a potato sack.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You're getting voted out if you're on Project Runway. Oh,
you're not even getting onto Project Runway. I felt so
bad for Sam, and now that I know that she
was not able to select the fabrics and that really
it was the ladies designs and it was the lady's ideas.
Like she's doing the best that she can as a
recent graduate. Yet furthermore so, she's like not established, she
hasn't doing this forever.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Like looking at her personal style, I thought she was
very stylish. Yeah, I'm sure this is not the type
of clothing she wants to decide. And we get to
marry and it is like thick, it doesn't mold, move, flow, drape, awful,
it's awful business.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Terrible and you can like see the look on Mary's face,
which is like total panic because she's like, what the
fuck am I going to do? Because this looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
To the mall. It's like, why is this a crisis?
Why are we so dramatic? Just go to the mall,
go to the store, go to the Macy's and get
you a dress, honey.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I mean, I don't know why we're like panicking and
like paying for a dress designer to make all these productions.
It's just like so stupid to me. And it was
kind of giving, like, look at us, we're so rich
in fancy because we pay a designer to make these
beautiful dresses.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Is that what she thought it was giving it? Yeah,
maybe they were trying to get what I'm saying, but
it was bottom barrel of absolutely le sewing school one
oh one terribleness.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
It's awful. I feel really bad for Sam because I
feel like she really wanted to prove herself and she
started with the worst four people in the world to
make dresses for That's why I'm like, what are you
doing now? Are you not? Are you no longer a designer?
I would be I'd be like I'm giving up.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, after that.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, and then we have Robin who wants to show
off everybody, like, show off her jewelry to everybody that
she designed.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Right, because they're gonna have a ceremony within the ceremony
where Cody distributes jewelry to all the wives and the kids.
And of course this is jewelry that Robin has designed,
because I don't know, have you heard, but she's got
this business called My Sister Wives Closet where she sells upscale, silver,
(23:51):
beautiful jewelry. And this is some of what she's designed.
Cuffs for the boys, necklace, bracelets for the girirls, Trees
of life yep.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
And I'm like, this is probably where a lot of
their money went for this whole stupid ceremony.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
That was their budget.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I mean, like all of the jewelry, which is unnecessary.
It's so unnecessary. I don't know why we need to
do this. It's just for Robin to be like, look,
I designed it. I care so much about the family
and the kids. Like I'm coming here cap in hand
giving you ugly gaudy jewelry because no one else will
buy it on my website but the family. Right, So
here's this stock that I need to get rid of
(24:33):
because I love you guys, and I'm giving it to you.
It's so bad. But anyway, so she gives them all
their jewelry and they're gonna have some dumb ceremony with it.
I can't wait to see it because everybody, you know,
everyone's gonna hate it.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Well, and the kids are gonna be They're not gonna care,
they're not gonna want it. I don't think I recall
any child ever wearing it on camera. That's since I've
been watching, and certainly none of the wives have.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah, But when she is showing the camera her designs,
she does talk about how she always wanted to be
a polygamist ever since it was modeled to her by
her mistress mother, who had this long term affair with
her daddy, Yeah, her stepdaddy who was there at her
birth inappropriately weird, I dare say. And so she's always
(25:21):
had these dreams of being part of a big, well
functioning polygamist family. And now she's thirty five years old
and she finally has it. And this is what has
inspired her beautiful designs of the Tree of Life on
her cuffs and her bracelets. I'm just like, okay, only
for you too.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Within five years, begin to destroy the well you're doing
it now, like, begin to truly destroy this entire family
and break the hearts of wives and children everywhere.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
It's crazy. And then we pop on over to like
pretty much the end of the episode, where we have
Christine dyeing the sand for the sand ceremony and numb.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Mur It's like, so bad.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I don't care. I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Why would I care? Who cares? Nobody cares, Nobody cares.
Why did you think I would ever care?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Yeah, you'll see. And this is where Sam starts pinning
Robin's dress and Mary's dress, and this is where Robin's like,
I don't like my dress at all. I think it's booty,
but she's not gonna say anything. And we have Mary's
dress and Mary's like, this is horrible. Can we say that?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
But if we make a little change here and there
and say, I'm like, no, it's not gonna happen. This
is a train wreck.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
It's awful.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
It's the worst that it could ever be.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
And Mary's panicking. She's like, I don't know what I'm
gonna do right, go to fucking Macy's, Like, you said, yes, Hello,
I don't understand. This is the time where malls were
still popping. Absolutely, malls are dead nowadays. I'm like, you
could have gone to any store you're in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Oh my god, go to Ross.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yes, I don't understand. And then it's two days away
from the ceremony. Oh my god, everybody's panicking excited.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
We have like, I don't know if I can.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Wait, nothing prepared. You have Cody who's still hanging lights
up in the fucking could sack, and he's messing it up,
and he's getting frantic and he's getting an attitude, and
we have tables coming and guests are RSV peeing, and
Janelle's like, nothing's done. I don't know how we're gonna
(27:20):
put this together. And then we get to the preview. Yeah,
and this is where Cody is still trying to hang lights.
Janelle's worried that Sam is gonna just snap and run away.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Well, Sam literally says in the preview, I was just
in the laundry mat, laundrymat with the laundry room, crying
my eyes out because I'm so despondent and desolate over
the state of these designs and I might run away.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I feel bad for her, dude, you do. I mean,
this is a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I feel like she was set up.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yoh definitely to fail. Yeah, definitely. And then we have
like everybody gathering around for photos and this is like
at the actual ceremony where everybody's dressed up, and Cody
has a fucking like meltdown. Did you see the way
his face looked?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah, freaky yeah. And this is one of those moments
where I have to wonder, like, was he a good dad?
Did he really want to be with all these kids?
Did he really want to have this big, happy family?
Because we've seen him all season delegating his fatherly responsibilities
away to his elder children. And now we have this
(28:26):
beautiful moment that you have manufactured and created on purpose.
You've manifested as the architect of your lives. It's beautiful picture.
And you're pissed, you're screaming. You're telling kids that they
won't be able to stay in the house or they
won't be able to be a part of the family.
I mean, why are we doing this? Then? What the heck?
If you're not happy?
Speaker 2 (28:44):
And then you have that like crazy look on your face,
like before you smile for the cameras. I'm like demons, yeah,
straight up, de monic, dmonic, principalities and powers. I'm like,
chill the fuck out. Yeah, Bro's like it's just a
weird little moment. It happens for like two seconds, but
(29:05):
it's definitely a window into how they actually act, like
probably off camera.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Which is why Mary is worried. But what's gonna happen
after the commitment ceremony because this is the raw materials
that she's dealing with.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Mary was a fake psychic even back then, she could
sense some shit was happening.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Mary Brown one of us. Yeah, I was actually thinking
when she was getting fitted and she was like interacting
with the other women that out of all the women
except maybe Janelle, but maybe even more than Janelle, I
would want to hang out with Mary really.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
I think she's a fun girl. I think she's a
girl's girl. And I think she was trying to work
with Sam. I think she wanted to support Sam. I mean,
I love Janelle, but she's kind of a dud.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I don't know if she wants to go out to karaoke,
But I could see Mary with her like Mickey Mouse's
ears absolutely at a Disney karaoke bar, and I knew
they're right with her. I mean that's fair singing silver Spring,
Oh my god, I believe, And I would kill the hoodie.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
She probably would love that if she could just like
let loose and let some of her fucking walls down.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Nice, let some down, honey.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Straight up. Anyway, that's it.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Well, is there anything else that we need to say
to these beautiful raccoons before we get up on at
a here pitches?
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Well, if you love our podcast, please go to your
favorite podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star review.
Really helps uscrow the pod some more people can join
us in the dumpster and we really appreciate it, so
thank you.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And also, if you're a vip raccoon on Patreon, stay
tuned for our upcoming after show in just a minute
or two. But until we come back, please do not
forget that we truly have nothing but love for you,
and
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Please o n by it.
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